Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 1- Klein's Cockroaches, Ally's Leftover Sperm and MORE

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get this show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles! Three, two, one! And here we go. It's Klonelio. Low 6.7, KROQFM and HD Pasadena.

Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning, welcome to Musical Women's Wednesday here at K-Rock. Klein Alley Show. My name's Klein. There's Alley over there. Morning.

Wearing her official lesbian uniform of flannel. Oh, yeah. In the flannel phase. She's in her flannel phase, so get ready for that. This is actually one of the only flannels I have left. That is. Well, you don't wear that yellow one that's in every picture you've ever taken? No, I burned it.

It's funny because. That was in every picture always, and it still comes back to haunt me. Yeah. If you see any pictures of Alley in her. I mean, that's pretty much your lumberjack bumblebee phase. you were in, which was your black and yellow flannel that was in every picture that we took. Every picture about the show that went anywhere.

You're like, God damn, I'm in that same shirt again. I know. I wore it for a photo shoot and then I wore it to one event and it's just every picture now of me online is in that shirt. It's your uniform. That's DJ Omar Khan right there. He's the audio sniper. He'll do everything under his powers to make us look as bad as he possibly can during the show today, which won't be

that hard because we'll do it to ourselves. There's Jake the Nerd. And then you've got Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa taking the calls. 800-520-1067 Today, Vanessa and I go toe-to-toe and brain-to-brain in a round of the dumb-off. It is day number three. Currently, if you're keeping track, moving on into the dumb-off is, of course, Allie lost yesterday to Omar pretty badly, and Johnny lost day one.

So, Johnny. She was still going on this morning about the sock question. I know. I know. She thought about it all night. She thought about it all night. She came in, and she goes, it's seven socks you need to take. And we're like, Allie, it's three socks.

It was very clear yesterday. but it's been rattling around in her brain. Meanwhile, Vanessa is very concerned. I think she lost sleep over this because she claims that to this point she has gotten zero questions right. When she's playing along with the last couple. Because you guys have been going so fast,

it doesn't even give you a chance to think. Yeah, but over, you know, I will ask the question. I'm asking the questions today. I will ask them a little bit more slowly and we will give you time to answer. So it's okay. All right.

It's okay. You're concerned about the dumb-off? Yeah. Like, so far, nothing. I have gotten not one single question. Was there anything you thought you got until you heard the answers? You were pretty confident your answer was right? No, I was too slow.

I don't know what happened this year. Well, anyway. I'm not thinking. I'm usually good at the math ones. Could be a five-way tie for the winners of the dumb-off this year. We'll find out. So that'll be happening later this morning. We will keep hooking you up with tickets to go to Just Like Heaven.

You'll win those from us at 9 a.m. sharp today and then throughout the day, noon, 3 and 6. And, of course, more tickets to join us at the Endless Summer Kegger, unofficially known as the Clam Slam. That'll all be happening this morning right here on KROQ. Of course, for legal reasons, we must give you something from this band, I believe, right out of the gate every morning around this time. Any guesses? Anyone?

Red Hot Chili Peppers. Guess, Allie. Got a guess? Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit. Good guess. Omar, got a guess? Sublime. Jake? I was going to guess Chili Peppers. Johnny?

You guys are all wrong. It's going to be Linkin Park Lost. Okay. All you are wrong. Dominic Pike? I bet you one of our listeners has it. It is the sweet sounds of the newest movie stars on the planet, the boys from Green Day.

I'm K.O. Q. K.O. Rockline Alley Show. We start giving you stuff in moments. If you want Alley's money or at least a shot at it, you can call us. The number is 800-520-1067. We've oftentimes talked about the first text of the day will sometimes set up your entire day for success or failure.

I've received two texts from my wife this morning. Both of them have been pictures of cockroaches. Both of them. Foreplay? That's her hitting. Well, you can't spell cockroach without, you know. So it is, she's very tweaked right now because we've been dealing with this, quote, cockroach problem in her mind, an infestation. In my mind, and according to the professional bug guy that's come out and looked at the situation, he said this is just the time of the year that cockroaches get hot outside.

So they try to sneak inside to get some cool air conditioning. Which, what the hell? Cockroaches get hot? Right. Like they're out there going, whew. But she is. It's so hot out here. I better go to this person's house.

This may be the time we move, guys. I'm not kidding. Because now this has been going on for like on and off for a few weeks. And she's just shot two this morning. Just sprayed yesterday. And the guy said. Yeah, but are they alive? They're like clinging on for dear life.

Oh, great. They're having like seizures on the ground. Perfect. But she's. Yeah, this to her, as much as she hates spiders. This is her 9-11. Oh, my God. Much worse.

Hey, what's up? We're on the air. Good morning. Good morning. He has his girls there, too. Okay. So you understand that you're going to see some dead cockroaches. That's the nature of what happens in this process.

Hakuna Matata. That's not even where he's sprayed. Well, I understand. They go through the poison, and then they... Don't they feed it to their young or something? Yeah, they feed the poison around. Hey, everyone, we got some food. And then they don't realize it's...

Well, I'm not picking them up. Well, then the dog's going to eat them, then. And then the dog's going to eat poison. Ew, really? Yeah, you got to... I put red cups over them. I was going to say, just put cups and walk away. Like a little cemetery for cockroaches?

How'd Bruiser do it, man? Yeah, Bruiser. They're still moving. Dad? Yes? I went to the bathroom and I saw a dead cockroach. Cool. Great.

It's good stuff in my place right now. Aren't you glad you're there? This is what I get to skip every morning by coming here. Oh, man. Okay. Well, listen. This is all part of the process. This is good.

They're all dying, and then two weeks from now, there's not going to be any cockroach sighting. Well, where are the ones that are in the kitchen? Maybe they went back to their little home to spread their poison around to the family. Word got out, probably. You know, word spreads fast. I don't think there's problems. I showed Allie the picture of the one that's having a seizure on the floor by the bathroom. Which is probably one of the biggest cockroaches I've ever seen.

That thing is a big cockroach. But according to the bug guy He knows a lot more about this than we do These are the right kind of cockroaches He's not wrong He's the expert His whole life is bugs And he said that these are the right kind of cockroaches

You want to have in your house Not the other kind Daddy there is one in my room There's not one in your room You're just saying stuff now I saw it in my room I took a picture on my iPad Danielle, is she telling the truth?

I didn't tell mom yet. Okay, this is lies now. You guys are making it sound worse than it is. Put a cup. Move on. Yeah, just put cups everywhere. We'll create a little cemetery. I mean, it's so gross.

Yeah. You want it in your bed? No, I don't want them in my bed. But you know what? This is, we live in a... Well, you seem to not have a problem with them. No, I'm making a point. We live in a major city, and everyone probably has cockroaches.

We have them in this building. I've asked a lot of people, and they don't seem to... They don't want to admit it. It's like Allie with her herpes. She doesn't want to tell people about it. She's ashamed. I've never confirmed that I have herpes, but I do not have cockroaches. But Allie makes the point.

Allie, what's the difference to have your baby? Oh, that will be revealed probably in a helicopter later this week. Yeah, it's going to be a cockroach. I'm going to put a cockroach with one girl, one boy. All right. All right, I got to go. It's going to be a cup trick. I'm glad I'm not home for this.

Have a great day at school. Bye. I'm going to school, but thank you. Not you. I'm talking to my kids Jesus Christ Never a better time to go back to school I'm sure

So your wife works from home She has to sit in this all day How do you even work You're so distracted by am I going to see another cockroach Can I go to the bathroom We're at a point now Allie She will not even go into the cabinet to get a snack She will tell me to go in

If she needs me to get a snack for her She's so terrified that things are going to lunge at her Yeah well they will They're not going to lunge at her. Yeah, no, they want to eat her. She knows it. Great. We've got to take care of that.

They're out to get her, and they look so big because they're feeding off of all of your stuff. Feeding off that leftover cake. Yeah, they're going to your house. This has happened for many years. No matter where you are, you have skunks, you have... Text line is saying, Klein's house historically has had spiders, fleas, lice, skunks, roaches. Yeah, why am I the gross one? It really is you.

Yeah, making fun of my shack and stuff. The German cockroaches will eat each other and then die off as soon as the poison stays in their system. Cool. But the guy said, we have American cockroaches. Hell yeah, USA, baby. They're racist. He said, these are good old-fashioned American cockroaches, and they don't want anything. They just want our food, and they just want our AC.

And a good beer. If you would like Allie's money, call now and claim it. The number is 800-520-1067. Call now. Claim that money after this quick break. That is happening after this on KROQ. if you're new to the show we do this every morning around this time chance for you to take some of ali's money she hates parting with her money that's why we call her el cheapo but

she will give it to you if you know more about the news than she does five questions to prove that you know more than ali is able to come up with the answer she got that pregnancy brain she got that early morning brain and everything else that's going on plus the lady brain so she plus the herb plus the herb you just admitted it theoretically no she's got herpes as well so You've got to think about that. It's the rumor mill. It's the rumor mill you've confirmed and started by oversharing. Anyway, if you'd like to take Allie's money and not her herpes, hopefully...

Is that supposed to convince us that you don't have it? No, no, no. Allie's got full-blown herpes, guys. That's the real deal. I'm good. My wife already texted me after that conversation to say that the 7-year-old asked her, what are herpes and why does Allie have them? So that was a great back and forth with my family.

Myra, good morning. Welcome to KROQ. Hi, good morning. How are you? We'd love to give you $100 of Allie's money. She would hate to give it to you, but we'd love to give it to you. And all you have to do is answer some questions about things happening in the world and do better than Allie, and we will pay the people. And in this particular case, you are the people.

Are you ready to win some money? I am ready. All right. Everyone's rooting for you. So Allie's going to get the hell out of here. And your round will officially begin in 3, 2, 1. Here we go. Allie knows the news.

This membership club that has been around since 1955, and at one point had as many as 16 million members, you were probably one of them, is officially shutting down on September 15th. Which membership club is saying goodbye forever? Sam's Club. Say it again? Sam's Club. Sam's Club. We've got a question number two. Congratulations, we have a new World's Ugliest Dog.

It's always a great competition. and which breed is the brand-new ugliest dog in America? In the world, excuse me, in the world. What's that bald one called? What's the bald one called? A couple of different bald types of dogs. A greyhound? Greyhound.

We've got a question number three right now. McDonald's has been putting together a pretty exciting collab happy meal involving the Hello Kitty and what unlikely partnership? Hello Kitty and who is a collab for a new McDonald's Happy Meal? Ninja Turtles. Ninja Turtles. We go to question number four, and we will give you all of these answers. Apparently, there was an earthquake felt in Riverside County

that registered at what number on that earthquake scale? What was the number of the shaker? 4.2. 4.2. Write that down. And final question right now. New footage being released of the crater that was left on the moon by what? Of course, this was a story that was developing for the last week,

but now new footage is out there of the crater that was left on the moon caused by what? SpaceX. SpaceX. All right. Let's bring Allie back in. You did decent. And I like it that you have no problem taking the money from a herpes victim slash pregnant lady. And that's cool because it means that you just won your $100.

And I don't blame you for that. If you don't win the $100, don't worry. We've got more stuff to give you today like access to our endless summer kegger and passes to Just Like Heaven. All right. Here we go. Allie is on the clock. Question one. Yep.

This club that has been around since 1955 and at one point had as many as 16 million members is officially shutting down on September 15th. That would be Columbia House. Columbia House, the CD club, where you used to be able to get something like 20 CDs for a penny. I had no idea they were still in business. I don't think anyone did. They do have a few DVDs still on their website. Oh, they do? Mm-hmm.

Wow. We should get whatever we can get before they officially shut down. That is the correct answer. This woman guessed Sam's Club, so not off to a good start. Allie is up 1-0 early, and I'm sure we will pay our proper respects to Columbia House later on today in the show. because it was something that I think many of us were a member of. And I know that they tried to get you to buy those CDs for the penny, and then you were locked in to buy them at, like, the full retail price.

Yeah, so if you didn't say, if you would get the catalog, you had to let them know that you don't want anything. Otherwise, they would automatically charge you for a CD every month. Right, and then all of a sudden, something would show up, and then they'd be like, $30, full price. And then all of a sudden, you got one or two things, and you didn't cancel, and they were already in the profit. I was right.

It was one of the first set-it-and-forget-it kind of subscriptions that just raked in the money because people forgot. Question number two. Allie's up 1-0. We have a new world's ugliest dog. Congratulations. What breed has given us the world's ugliest dog? I think it is a pug.

She said greyhound, but the correct answer is a pug. An Ugg pug. It's whatever animal has a weird tongue that's always sticking out. Sticking out, always looks like it's mid-stroke. That is the correct answer. It is a pug. And I think pugs usually are some version of pugs. Or those Chinese crested, the one that don't have hair.

Right, that's the one I think she was looking for. She was asking for the bald dog. But they usually switch back and forth. But congratulations. And I know pug owners think that they're adorable and they're cute, but they're also very ugly. Well, they're usually pretty smelly and have breathing problems, too. We've got a question number three. Allie's up 2-0.

McDonald's just announced a collab happy meal between Hello Kitty, Friends, and Who? What unlikely partnership with Hello Kitty? Yes, I did see this. I think it's Godzilla. Wow, Allie is on one today. A tear. So much for that pregnancy brain, that herpes brain. She's gotten three in a row right.

Looks like they canceled each other out. Godzilla and Hello Kitty joining forces in a place where only they could, which is a happy meal at McDonald's. We go to question number four now. There was a shaker felt in Riverside County. Earthquake registered at what number? Oh, I have no idea. 3.4.

Oh, damn. You are on it. Really? She guessed 4.2. The correct answer is a 3.5-er. Oh, nice. Off by a tenth of a point, so still pretty goddamn good. And we go to this final question.

There's new footage now being released of the crater that was created on the moon. Oh, cool. As a result of what? The rocket that crashed into it. More specific? The SpaceX rocket. That's what she said, SpaceX. Myra on the board, but it doesn't matter.

Allie with a perfect. That doesn't happen very often. Almost a perfect five for five. Woo-hoo, shaken. Oh, she's now grabbing her breast. That was weird. What a weird celebration. Myra, thanks for playing.

Sadly, what must you shamefully admit over the airways of K-Rock? Go ahead. My name is Myra, and Allie knows the news. Tomorrow morning around this exact same time. Tomorrow morning. This time. Did you just turn your mic off on yourself? Yes, I did.

You did. I tried to turn my own mic off. Subconscious. I was, to be honest, Allie, after grabbing her boobs, I started gagging and retching, and I wanted them not to hear that on the radio. Just turn off all sound. so anyway tomorrow morning

around this time another chance to take Allie's money more show after Sombra on KROQ KROQ on Allie's show if you're currently feuding with siblings

we need your stories later this morning get you into our endless summer kegger obviously there's a big sibling feud happening with the Buss family about the Lakers

and that's been going on for a while I would argue the Lakers which brought that family together is now tearing them apart at the very seams and we realize

that not all of us own NBA basketball teams but that doesn't mean that we have not gotten into massive fights with our siblings a lot of people don't speak to them anymore

I have a couple of friends, I didn't even know they had siblings. And then they're like, yeah, we don't talk anymore. And sometimes it is because of so-and-so's uncle died, left something to someone, said split it up among your siblings. I feel like it's the most common cutoff relationship. If someone dies and then people fight over the will or the house or something like that. But we'll get to your stories a little bit later and invite some of you to come hang out with us at the Endless Summer Kegger slash the Clamslam happening on September 3rd in Newport Beach. It's interesting you mentioned siblings because I received an email yesterday that brought up a very interesting question that I now, and I have to make an important decision. And I would like your advice.

I don't know why I want your advice, but here's the email I received. Now, when we decided to have kids, we bought sperm. We picked a donor. Which was so stupid. I'll be honest, Allie. We all offered you. I'm producing so much. I don't want sperm, I know.

Producing so much. Dripping out my ears. The sperm you know beats the sperm you don't. And let's be honest, you've got a really potent show here. Omar was able to make kids, no problem. Me, two of them. You would not be able to handle it if I had a child in my belly that was from you. Sure I would.

But you would not be emotionally connected to that child? You wouldn't feel a need to maybe attend a birthday party or send a present? No, because it would be like, here you go. I'd sign something that says I've got no reason. So you can totally separate. Oh, yeah. Interesting. so i and other couples will pick somebody they know or get it for free we chose we want complete

anonymity we don't want to know the person we don't want to know what what other sperm they've donated anything like that i thought you had to pay extra if you wanted to know the person like they could give you more information about the more information but not the identity of the person but we did the person we chose when my kid is 18 he can contact that person if he wants to Sucks for that guy. You want to make sure he was white, blue-eyed, and blonde, right? That is what Allie said. No.

Allie said, give me the old Hitler special. I want the Aryan sperm. Yeah. No. We chose somebody who had the same background as Katie. That's how we chose. Okay. It was somebody who had similar.

Alcoholism. Was that? Irish, yeah. That's too important. Irish and French. So we used the sperm to have our kid, and then we have this one, right? So we have one leftover. One sperm left?

We have one vial left over. And the vial's full of them, right? It's got millions in there. Yeah, there's millions. There has to be a minimum of 10 million, I think, in order for, otherwise I get my money back. Those all sit in a freezer somewhere. Yeah, they're being frozen, and I pay for the freezer storage. So I got the email yesterday, hey, it's time for renewal for your storage.

What's that cost? Oh, it's like $300 or $600 a year, I can't remember. But it's like, I don't want to pay for it anymore because we're done. I don't want to use the sperm anymore. We're done making babies. But you're not done, though. Yeah, I mean, technically, we're not done. We're in the process of being done.

So if I sell it, I can sell it back to the sperm bank for half of what I paid. That's option one. So I spent a certain amount of money on the sperm. I can sell it back to them for 50%. And what will they try to do, resell it? They'll try to resell it to the highest bidder, and they'll probably increase the price. So I'm wondering, what are the other options, right? Can I go on Craigslist?

Yeah, you can definitely sell black market. put sperm on offer up sure johnny would drink it i'm sure bodybuilders want it there's got to be something yeah some other use right when you say you'd get half back for it this is what will give me an idea of like what that really what's the retail value for sperm so when i bought the initial sperm which is just the insemination sperm i believe it was 1200 bucks per vial and is it like racehorses where certain ones are worth more than others if they've won races or if they've done things in their life but the other ones we bought so we bought two additional ones that were ivf vials those were 2200 each so that's the one that i have you have an ivf vial

that was that it was 2200 when i paid for it so i would get a check for 1100 back you gotta take that i don't think you're gonna do better than that i i couldn't imagine you don't think i could get more for it if i sold it on offer up i mean i'm giving this stuff away daily giving it away i'm literally putting the trash yeah and they're raising their prices it's insane so then i When I called, I said, are there any other options? Can I sell it to somebody else or transfer the ownership of this vial to another person? They said you can, but it has to be somebody who has already bought that sperm and had a kid with that sperm donor. How do you know how many times this guy's even donated?

Like, are you able to, is this one of those guys? They know. Oh, they do? So I go, well, if I were to sell, so if I were to give it to somebody else or send it to somebody else, It would have to be somebody who already has a kid with that same sperm. So I say, how do you find those people? And she goes, well, you can put your kid on a sibling registry. Oh, right, right, right.

And I can put his name's Wesley. This is the donor number. I could have 57 half brothers. And then it can connect me with all of the people that have had a kid with that sperm donor. So I would see all these half Wesleys with pictures. And I can connect with the people who have that kid. We can all do meet-up groups if we want. A couple things, though.

You don't know if this was a one-off guy that was just hard up for some cash, needed to go ahead and finish into a little petri dish just to make some money. Just to make a hundred bucks, right. Or if this was a guy that was like, hey. Because I think once, I believe once guys realize they're good at this and the money's good, they'll just keep churning. Well, I think that it's also a pride thing. Like, hey, I'm, look at, I'm providing life to other people. But this guy, when he donated, I know he was in his 20s, which is when most people want side cash for weed money. Sure, of course.

But this guy also had clean bit, like they test you and all this stuff. But the question is, should I give it to somebody else that probably needs it? So you could donate it. I could donate it. You could be a donor donor. Right. I could just donate it to somebody who's like, hey, we have a kid with this sperm donor, but we need more sperm. You want to give it to us?

and but it opens up this whole world of should i know how many other wesleys there are out there should i know what all of his siblings are are there one are there five are there five million it's a it's a once you get do i want to be friends with the other half siblings no you don't but once you get in that world i feel like you you know you got to be careful because once you start down that path you don't know where it leads exactly and then you start finding out there's six others that were made from the same sperm and they're all in jail for different things right or do they all live in the same area are they spread out throughout the united states you're opening up a whole can of worms or do i just take the money and rub you got to take the eleven hundred dollars

and call it a day that's the right answer i mean the other thing you could do is and someone pointed this out on the text line as well you could water that down turn that one vial into about four vials right try to then you know just cut it quadrant just keep cutting it like good drug just cut cutting cocaine baby aspirin just keep cutting it and then i'll get people a taste before they buy it. Yeah, try this. It's still a little taste. But I think that

if you've got guaranteed money and they're saying we'll buy it back for half and you don't need it, I would wait, though. Listen, here's the thing. I know you have to make the decision now.

When you're so cheap, you don't want to pay for an extra day of storage. Yeah, I have until September 14th to decide. I wonder if it's like storage wars where if you don't pay on time,

someone can just go in there and bid a dollar and leave with it. I got a bunch of old baseball cards and this jug of jizz. Right. But here's the thing.

They can sell it to whoever they want, But I can't. I think you're going to mush yourself if you sell it too soon. I know you're pregnant now. I know everything's going well. But don't you think you should hold it as an insurance policy? Just until I'm holding it.

Even if you have to move it to your own freezer? Well, and then how long do I wait for, right? Do I wait until both of them are 18? No way. You're going to pay an extra wage. Because what if one of them... Right. Oh, yeah, because can't you...

Couldn't you use that to grow another one just to have spare body parts? Sure. Who knows? That's a great idea. Body farming. Where's the Facebook group for that? We have to take a... There's a lot of good suggestions on the text line.

Or 208, do all the other Wesleys wear tutus as well? I don't know. You should find that out. I would have to go to the sibling registry to find out. I think they should cut you back a little bit of refund just for what you got in the first batch. That's all I'm saying. I got the best. All right, we've got to take a break.

We'll get back in a moment with your actual news. And a fitting tribute for a club that we were all a member of that's now officially going away. We say RIP to Columbia House as a collective unit after this. Hey, Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. We're going to check out what's happening in the world with the ADT News. and a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. We've got tickets for you to hang out with us

at our endless summer kegger, also known as the Clam Slam, although no one around here will refer to it as that, but we all know what's up, and we've got your tickets coming up as we talk about sibling feuds happening in honor of what is happening with the Buss family and the Lakers. That to get to, plus another round of the dumb-off. But first, this message on the GOAT line before we get into your round of ADD news.

Oh, and I'm fine in the Alley Show. Hey, I had an idea. You know, everybody wants to hear more from Alley's baby. She loves it. We all love it. Well, if you did like a crotch watch, 2026, where every maybe two or three weeks we check with the baby, see how it's doing. And, you know, you put a microphone down there for the crotch watch. And, you know, we get updates from time to time.

I think, you know, the audience wants it. The show loves it. I know it's Allie's favorite thing to hear from her unborn child. It's not. Anyway, sweet. Allie has asked us to stop talking to her unborn baby inside of her womb. And I understand why that she would not want us to keep doing that. But I do think because you just asked a very interesting question, which is what should you do with all this extra jizz you have that you need to either decide if you should return it or pour it in the toilet or sell it in the dark web.

Don't you think we should ask your child who's growing inside of you what he or she believes? I think we're good. Crash watch. Whoever this baby is, I don't have meant them yet. They probably have a better sense of humor than you guys. Do you want to put the mic down there or should Omar just turn off the light? Sure, let me derp a derp. There it is.

Hey, you're not doing it. Do it. Come on, crotch, crotch. It's time for ADD News. Why are we wasting our time at this time? There you go. I'm just turning it up. Thank you, Omar.

Turn up the levels. Hey, Mommy. Don't sell my power juice. Give it to Grammy. She loves that stuff. Steve needs his medicine. Throat coat. All right.

Thank you. That's a beautiful message. He already knows his grandma's the throat coat. That's exciting. Let's put it all together. Awesome. Steve needs his medicine. Medicine.

And now here's your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. You probably didn't know it was still in business. But be sad that it's going away. Columbia House is shutting down after 70 years, 71 to be exact, in operation. It once dominated the music industry. And at one point it had 16 million subscribers.

They promised you a dozen CDs for a penny. You sent them a penny. They sent you all the CDs. And then a month later you're being charged 30 bucks for one CD and you don't know why. It's because you've been roped into a monthly CD commitment, and then you have to go through archaic measures to undo all of that, most of which people just never did. So they made a lot of money. But then they went, they started with tapes, then they went to vinyls, then CDs, then they got rid of the CDs and just did DVDs. I think I got into it twice in my life.

I think I got into it for CDs and then again in the DVDs, early DVDs. Well, now, even if you go to their website right now, and this is ending, I think they're stopping all new orders on September 15th. Shutting it down. But they ensured people that if you have a current subscription, you can still order. But there's only like 10 DVDs to choose from, one of which is the movie Paint, starring Owen Wilson, who plays a loose Bob Ross knockoff. Oh, really? Did you even know this movie existed? I didn't, but the reality is anyone who is currently a subscriber or a member of Columbia House is unaware that they're currently a member.

So this will be news to everyone. Yeah, but there's probably a few people that are like a hundred. There's not. There can't be. There just can't be. I find that impossible to believe. Even my parents that are so technologically unsavvy, this is something that would be so far from the reality. Because I also think that that generation, they're actually the ones that are on top of everything.

They're the ones that actually look at their, balance their checkbook every month and check out their credit card statement and realize. No, but I mean somebody who's intentionally using it. No way. Zero people. This is the best part of the day. You put all your cares away. Get ready for a smile on your face. It's just the right time and just the right place.

The music you love, the movies you share, the things that make you care. Keep it loud and high, we'll serve you so our relationship will grow and grow. Columbia House, big enough to bring you all the best in entertainment. Columbia House. Look for special Columbia House offers this month at Zandit Magazine's newspapers in your mail. Columbia House. Commercials were so long. They had all the money in the world to buy this airtime.

Jingles used to be so long, too. This is a full minute of jingle. Jesus Christ. And it even has an ending. It was just one of those things where they were being subsidized by some sort of a cult. Is it possible that this was Scientology or something was behind this? I never saw anything about that, but hey, you never know. At some point, how were they making money, to be honest?

So they were giving you that many CDs for a penny. Well, eventually they weren't doing that well. I mean, I think everybody, they pledged that you, if you subscribe to this, you could develop a CD library bigger than the Library of Congress. Man, incredible. I can't wait no one else signing their dogs up. I used to do that all the time. Yeah, I signed up my parents because I thought I was too young to get it.

So I remember signing up and my dad. How old did you have to be? 18? I don't know, but I remember I was not of age. and my dad got a package and he's like, why do I have all these Pearl Jam CDs? Because they're cool, Dad. Give me those.

Even the commercials, it's so overdramatic because there's couples that are crying and watching TV and just knowing that their life is made better because they have access to these incredible DVDs and it just looked like it changed everyone's life and they're calling on their big-ass phones to the call center and the lady's got a gigantic headset on and she's got that little bob haircut and she's smiling

and it's just so nostalgic. Columbia House, R.I.P. R.I.P. Now, we've heard about a lot of summer injuries, and I think this is the summer injury to end all summer injuries because this woman can't even do her job anymore. Her hands are completely mangled and blistered for a reason that you wouldn't expect.

This jewelry designer hasn't been able to work with her hands after they were severely burned. She tells Allison Hall it was all from making margaritas for a pool party. And we have to warn you, some of the images are graphic. So, did you know about Margarita Burn? She put them in the blender? That would be really stupid. No, it was from the limes.

This woman learned the hard way that making the popular cocktail, the Margarita, can sometimes take a terrible toll. Not because she ended up with a bad hangover, but because her hands ended up like this. All of a sudden, I had these big, huge blisters on my hands. It's called Margarita Burn. She squeezed 30 limes to make a batch of the cocktail. She says she rinsed her hands thoroughly, then went out in the sun at a pool party in New York. The next morning when I woke up, my hands were red and swollen. Then over a five-day period, her hands went from redness to this, to this, to this.

Oh, so this. And this news lady is very surprised. Hold on one second. How many people is margarita hand affecting? I know there was a big thing where avocado hand was taken over because no one knew how to properly take a pit of an avocado. They kept stabbing their hand, trying to get that out. Apparently, this happens. They covered it in an episode of The Pit, apparently.

Margarita hand? Where somebody came in with margarita burn. Because what, the lime makes the sun more powerful? I think it's the combination of all the raw citrus all over your hands and then the sun. Yeah, it can make your hands blister. I mean, it looks disgusting. Did you hear her? It went from this to this to this.

I heard the progression. It sounded pretty drastic. I mean, this is dramatic. To this, to this, to this. That could happen to you. Jesus Christ. TikTok is adding another feature, and I'm sure it's a new way to get scammed on TikTok. It is a new money feature.

They are exploring a way to send friends money via DM. So it's essentially like a Venmo or a Zelle that is built into TikTok. So if you're going to buy crap on TikTok shop or if you're going to DM friends and pay them, you can now do so within the app. And what could go wrong there? All right, well, there's your news roundup, things happening that you probably care about, or maybe you don't.

The ADD News. You can go ahead and put away that Adderall for at least another hour, and then we get into a brand-new hour of the show in mere moments after some Royal Otis. This hour, we invite you to come and get some margarita hands with us at our endless summer kegger,

and much more. It all starts next, right here on Karakoo.