Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 2- Clickbait, SKWAH Prank and MORE

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley Show in just a moment, but in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world, plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines, you're going to be miserable, you're going to say, oh, I got to get there two, three hours before my flight.

Not at San Bernardino International Airport. And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. This is the world famous K-Rock. All right, just after 8 o'clock, it is Wednesday, and this is K-Rock. We are a client-only show. If you need us, remember these numbers. You'll need them, especially if you want to win your way into opening night of Not Scary Farm, where you can see real monster faces scaring you and haunting you.

800-520-1067. This hour on the show, we'll figure out which team will be forced to support all season long, which is going to really suck. It could be great. It could be great. Could draft a good team. Maybe I'll get my team. That would be great.

If Allie reaches into that football and pulls out Niners, I'll assume this whole thing was rigged. So we'll get into that coming up later this hour. We'll get into some clickbait as well. Controversy from yesterday's clickbait about hiding phones. And we will get into a new riddle on the Internet that we need to solve. But before we do any of that, Allie, take a listen to this. for you guys, and I was hooked from that point on, so

if you guys can dig it out of the archives and play it on the radio for me, oh my god. Thank you so much for all that you do. You've gotten me through a really rough year, you know, losing my dad and everything, and I'm

hanging up now before I get choked up. Alright? Love you guys. I don't remember this bitch she's talking about, this Dateline thing. I remember because I was watching the Dateline episode when I was at the gym and one of the suspects was named Kelvin Klein, I believe. And he was a pervert.

And they went through and they were investigating Klein and they realized that he was just a harmless pervert. But it was great audio. And Omar did a thing with it. Yeah, he put some of you in there I believe. Yeah, so that's what they're similarly yesterday during Old People's Secrets when Omar made me have

sex with the old lady. Unconsensual. I was not consenting to that. I don't think she was either. Probably unprotected as well. So this woman asked for us to play that Dateline bit again. I don't see it here. I have it. Oh, great. Fire away.

So here's a request. If you're new to the show, you've never heard this before. This woman claims this is the thing that made her fall in love with us. And here it is for the first time in a long time on KROQ. Who is Klein? Klein is the person that was using the Anthony Schaas profile to solicit girls to send them pornographic photos. Oh, that is, oh, dirty. Klein was a big, overweight.

I'm going to eat it all. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Not somebody that these girls would talk to kind of person, so he changed who he was. I'm a handicap. Not long after that Peeping Tom incident, law enforcement raided Klein's home. Well, I don't know. He's a bad guy. He's a pathological liar. He would tell us something, we'd look into it, and it'd be a lie. He lied a lot.

Hey, don't mind me. I'm just a young boy. Klein seemed to have a strong alibi, that he was in Vegas at the time of the murders. Yeah. When Court TV's Barbara McDonald learned Klein was in jail, she contacted him. Man, I am horny now. What happened? He talked to me. He gave me an interview from jail. So, are you aware that there's a bunch of news stories out there linking you to the Delphi murders?

I don't have no thought. You have admitted that you created this fake profile, Anthony Schatz. Is that correct? Yeah. Why did you create that profile? I groomed a young boy. But when it came to contact with Libby, Klein seemed evasive. Are you aware whether you may have talked to Libby? Where were you on February 13th, 2017?

I like to smell parts of my girlfriend. Did you have anything to do with the murders of Abby or Libby? Me such a bad boy. And in the end, investigators couldn't prove he killed Abby and Libby. He conducted a thorough investigation and ruled him out. Another dead end. Another dead end. I'm boned up.

I am boned up. Klein would eventually plead guilty to 25 charges. He was sentenced to 40 years in prison. Are you ready for the rear end? Okay, great. I understand why I forgot that. Oh my God, I forgot how funny that was. That's good stuff right there.

That was way funnier than I remember. And I remember it being funny the first time. Not me. Well done, Omar. It's a different guy by the name of Clegan Klein or something like that. Clickbait after Temper City on KROQ. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show. We'll get into some clickbait in a moment.

Then we'll find out what teams will be forced to follow all football season long. Yay for us. Marcella, you're on KROQ. Good morning. I'm a longtime listener, and I love listening to those old bits that are just the best. Honestly, there's just nothing funnier. But the other thing that is just crazy funny is you guys' version of Lady Gaga's Shallow. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, that was a long time ago. Before we were even on KROQ. All right, well, we'll put that. You think that's even funny. All right, well, everyone's got their favorites. Write that down. We don't have time to possibly get into that right now. We even dubbed it to their Grammy performance or Academy Awards performance,

and I think it was stripped from YouTube for copyright. Yeah, YouTube banned us because they thought we sounded too much like Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Clickbait, you know, the real issue is yesterday we got into a clickbait about people hiding their phones and how that's a big deal-breaker and there's a good sign your relationship's going to fail. And I couldn't come up with good examples on the spot of other reasons why people would hide their phone

if it was not about infidelity because that seems to be the big thing people are hiding. And this guy, thank God for you listeners because this guy finally reminded me of another major reason why you'd want to hide your password. Hey, what's up, guys? Sweet Dibs. I just listened to the clickbait segment and just had your back with a great client

talking about the reasons why you wouldn't want your chick to go through your phone. I mean, it's not all sexual, like, yeah, got some porn on the browser, but a big majority is, like, all the gambling websites that I'm on, because I'm a degenerate gambler just like yourself. Thank you. And, dude, if my wife were to see just the disgusting dereliction of a habit that I have in gambling, she would divorce me. So, yeah, it's not all sexual, you know. It's also gambling. Anyway, have a good one.

Not sexual, also gambling. That's a great catchphrase for gambling. It's not sexual. It's not sexual. It's also gambling. There's another reason why. So there's a reason why you'd maybe want to hide your phone so someone would go through it and then judge you. There's other things you're hiding.

And then be like, you lost how much money? Because everyone says, even if your guy's having a bad night, he's like, I just lost a little on the game. And you say, how much? And he goes, 75 bucks. It may mean 7,500 bucks. Right. Usually they knock off a couple of zeros before they tell you. It's time for a new riddle, and we are going to stop arguments before they even start.

It's time for Clickbait. Here we go. All right. This is the one phrase, not phase, but phrase, Allie, that can stop an argument before it spirals out of control. And we've all been in them before. They start casual, conversational even, and then next thing you know, how did we get here? Now we're in a full-blown fight. And I don't know how it happened.

But there's a phrase you can use, like pulling that ejection ripcord. I don't know. And you can say, let's not even get in this fight. I've got to say this phrase. This is what researchers have studied all sorts of different couples. This phrase, every time, will help you from getting into an argument. God, I feel like lately something small can escalate so quickly. Yeah, and with two women, I would imagine even faster.

Oh, my God. But then it's also a lot of therapy speak and a lot of communication stuff as well. so you have to do all the right steps. I can't just be mad and say mean things because that's not cool. That's the fun part, though, when you hold that little thing and you're like, I'm going to save that for the next fight

and then drop it on them when they least expect it. Yeah, but I think what's going to diffuse it, and I know it's worked for me, is to say, I hear you. To just say, I understand, I hear what you're saying, I am listening, and I'm validating what you're saying. So Allie says, I hear you. I hear you.

I totally hear you. As long as you're like, oh, wow, she's listening, amazing. I know people love the I hear you, but, followed by the big but. I hear you, but, over to my point. You're wrong, bitch. I hear how wrong you are with everything you say. I hear you, and I throw it away. And the neighbors hear you.

And I raise you this. And we all hear you, because all you're doing is tap dancing. We don't want to hear it. Omar, what is the phrase? I think the phrase is... Whatever, you stupid ass. That's a good one, too. That's a good guess right there.

No, I think admitting you're wrong and you don't really care about the argument and you just say you're right. You say you're right and you kind of give in and then you move on with your life. Yeah, but you can't say it too passively aggressively because that won't get you off the hook. You can't be like, yeah, all right, you're right. Yeah, you're right sometimes too soon. It's like they didn't even hear what I'm saying. I wanted it. You're right.

You got to combine those two together. I haven't even tried. I hear you. You're right. That's it. Give them all the buzzwords. Boom, I hear you right. Jake, what is the thing you say to keep an argument for spiraling out of control?

Make sure that you preface everything with, like, I feel. I feel like this. I feel like that. I feel like you're being a bitch. Whatever. All right, well, I guess... This is a man who's not had more than a two-year relationship, right, Jake? Vanessa told him before the show today she feels his current relationship has a week left in it.

It's been a month. I said a month. Oh, excuse me, a month. Sorry. She said, I don't want to... I don't want to say anything bad about you, but you... But I think it has a month left. You have a month left.

But I think, Jake, you're pretty stubborn when it comes to fighting. Yeah, because I'm never wrong. Oh, man. So he would totally say, I feel you're wrong. Right. I feel that you're wrong. I feel I'm right. Researchers have found that the phrase you're supposed to use, and this is when you start

to feel that part where you're like, this is getting volatile. All of a sudden, this was nice. Now it's getting a little volatile. You're supposed to say, quote, I'd actually- T.O. T.O. You don't say time out. You say, I'd like to actually focus on all the things we agree on. Ew.

So before you start going to the fact that you didn't do the dishes or you didn't do this or I thought I was getting, well, can't say it on the radio. Thought I was getting that tonight. That was a fight? Yeah. You say, let's start with the things we agree on. And then if you say that. What if you can't find any? Well, then that's a problem.

I feel like we can't. The subtle shift turns the person that we disagree with from the enemy into a collaborator. and it's one of those little Jedi mind tricks you pull back to be like, let's start with what we agree on. You know, I have used the, hey, we're on the same team thing. That's because you're a lesbian. Because we're both lesbians. I'm talking about softball.

You know, you give her team analogies and softball things. She feels better. So try that. Good luck. I will try that the next time, and I promise you it will make it much worse. That doesn't sound like it's going to get you anywhere. To researchers and relationship experts.

Quick break. We're back in a moment with our forced teams that will be following this NFL season. Forced fandom. Forced fandom after this on KROQ. KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. Hey, Maria, you're on KROQ. Good morning.

I was just going to suggest maybe having a baby shower for Alley and sending invites to all your wedding guests. I would settle for Alley to take a regular shower at this point, but that would be nice of us to do. I need it more than the baby. Yeah, let's just worry about Allie showering on a regular basis. How about that? And then we can talk about... Actually bestowing me with gifts. Yeah, we got some plans.

It's a good idea, but we've got some things planned for Allie and her. You do? No, you don't. Vanessa, make a note that we should plan something for Allie. That was way too far ahead. You don't think that far ahead. I just found out that Allie's due date is the Super Bowl, which is interesting as we get into a new season of NFL football right now.

I was thinking about it. It seems like it was only yesterday that Jake was squawing around the office because he was so excited that the Seahawks were going to be in the big dance. And then he got to go there courtesy of Blind Charlie, our show's benefactor. And Jake was very unappreciative. Even yesterday we were talking about... What are you talking about? I forgot.

I was like, I forgot that the Seahawks won the effing Super Bowl. That it is Jake's team. That Blind Charlie bought him a ticket to the Super Bowl. And that he drove all the way up there and attended. Well, Jake, first he put up that pathetic crowd. He put up a GoFundMe situation for himself, if you remember. That's right. And he did get some donations there, and we immediately took all that money,

and I think we took it and gave it to a charity because we felt so bad that Jake had done that. And then Blind Charlie, you know, the gift that keeps on giving, decided to step in and buy Jake a ticket. And then we said to Jake yesterday, oh, that's amazing. You went to the Super Bowl last year to watch your team not only go but win. It must have been pretty great. And Jake goes, well, the seats were not great. It was the longest day ever. It was a long day.

And the drive back from San Francisco, and then come straight back and then do the show. Boo-hoo! Yeah, that was not, like, the funnest day ever. You understand most people on the planet will never have the ability to ever attend a Super Bowl, period. Let alone to see their team go. Let alone to see their team go and win. I mean, it's, like, such an amazing thing to be able to experience. It was.

And then to focus on just the annoying drive. Right. I just drive after it sucked. And I believe, if I'm not mistaken, we also had a listener that invited you to come and stay with them the whole time you were up there. Yes, you got free lodging. And they stopped the place with you. And they fed you and gave you drinks. Yeah, that was cool.

So it seems like it was an amazing trip that you just, once again, are not appreciative of at all. I wasn't the biggest fan of driving back the whole night and then coming to work. Well, we were not a fan of hearing you walk around the office squawing for six weeks leading up to it. But we did take some of those sounds and we called this pet shop. Hello, it's Pet Shop. How can I help you? My bird has been acting very strange lately and I wasn't sure if you had any thoughts. about what this is going on here. Okay.

Squawk! What you doing? I don't know if you hear this kind of these noises. Squawk! She's never used it like that before. Do you have any alarm system or anything in your house?

Squawk! Not that I know of. Squawk! No alarm system. No? Maybe she's just, I don't know, expressing herself.

Squawk! Is she outside the cage? Is she in the cage? We leave her in the cage mostly occasionally we'll let her kind of flap around the living room okay um um i don't know a lot about birds but i don't know if that's strange or not if she does she usually talk to you or not not quiet quiet most of the time and then about the last few weeks there's been a lot of this nothing different happened in your house like sounds or anything

like that? Not that I know of. Squaw! Do you go to work? Yes. Is there anybody home all day with him? Uh, no. Squaw! Sounds really mad. Squaw! What you can do is give a call back.

Squaw! At like 3 o'clock, Kyle will be here. Squaw! He might know what's going on. Okay. Call back for Kyle? Is he right beside you? Far away. Other side of the room.

She's where? Other side of the room. On the other side of the room. Sounds like she's on the phone with you. That's why I was calling. It seems crazy, right? Squaw! Squaw!

Squaw! Sounds like something freaked her out. Squaw! Now, what is she doing when she makes that noise? Is she flapping her wings, though? Yeah, the wings are flapping a little bit and looking at me. And all shifty eyes. Squaw!

Squaw? What's your general thought? Squaw. Squaw. I mean, the big bird. What kind of bird is she? We're not a rescue. It's a rescue, but what kind of bird is it?

Like, what kind of parrot is it? Is it a macaw? Yeah. Is it a macaw? Yeah. I would... I don't know. Birds are loud, but that's loud.

Have you tried talking to the bird? Can you try? Because she did not respond to me. Well, she's just only like women, like... I'll put you on speaker. Go ahead. Hello, birdie. What's the matter?

Squaw? What's the matter? Squaw. What's the matter? Squaw. Are you a good birdie? Squaw. Are you a good birdie?

Squaw. Squaw. I don't know. Or maybe try some music. Okay, what type? Nothing outrageous, like no, um, mellow, kind of. What do you think about Tool? I think the bird likes Tool.

Tool? Um, you could try, I mean, you could try anything you did. Okay, well, thank you for your help. I'll call back when, uh, Kyle's there. All right, thank you, hon. Squaw! All right. That was as annoying as I remembered it, actually.

More? More annoying, actually. Luckily, we had the whole offseason to recover from Jake making his squaw noises in the office every time the Seahawks win. We will figure out which teams will be forced to support this season after Alien Ant Farm on K-Rock. Football is back. Maybe you don't care, but perhaps you do. And if you're a fan of a team, there's different reasons why you're a fan of that team. Perhaps the most obvious is because you grew up in a city.

and that's the city that that's the team that the city supported now maybe you had a weird reason why you're into a team and I know that LA is strange because there's been times when there's been football here not football here now we've got two teams here but there's still a lot of Raiders fans

because of when the Raiders were in LA and you know teams move around and fandom usually sticks so once you've locked in you're a fan of a team even if that team sucks and they've sucked your entire life If you were a fan from a young age, you kind of stick with it because maybe your dad was a fan of the team. Yeah, sometimes it passes down by generation.

So your dad or grandpa's city that they're from, you know, they were big Packers fans. So it just kind of becomes a family team no matter what city you live in. My buddy's a diehard Jets fan. But the reason is because it was much cheaper for his parents to buy him Jets stuff when he was a baby than Giants stuff because Giants were always a much more likable team. Now they're probably about the same. Now it's probably evened out over the years, but the reality is that he just decided from a young age, you know, you grow up wearing Jets stuff, you're a Jets fan, now you're stuck with that curse for life. So we've decided to go ahead and bask in the shame of being a fan of teams. And maybe, look, you want a new team to root for.

I grew up in D.C. I grew up a Washington Redskins fan, but I really hated the Commanders, especially when they had the terrible ownership for so many years that it was hard for me to continue to support a team because I was such an enemy. I thought Daniel Snyder was the worst owner of a team ever. And a lot of people lose their interest in teams because of owners. The same thing that happened with the Anaheim Angels, to be completely honest. So are you on the market for a new team? No, because once the Rams came to L.A. and I started to go, and they were terrible out of the gate. Those were some of the most boring games.

I'd go watch them in the Coliseum, and they would suck, and they would put up a total of three points of total offense. I mean, it was a couple of really boring years before they got good again. But I like Sean McVay. So you're a legitimate Rams fan now. I'm a Rams fan, but I still watch the Washington play, and they've been fun to watch. Lately, I don't know if I'll ever go back to the level of fan I was.

And to the teams you hate, it's mainly the Cowboys? I hate a lot of teams. I hate the Patriots. I hate the Cowboys. I mean, I can list a lot of teams I hate for different reasons. Cowboy. They gather the cows. That's right.

Thank you for that. Thank you for explaining that to me. Okay, now I love the Cowboys. So we have a football helmet in the KROQ studios now. In this side of this helmet is every team in the NFL. And in case you're wondering, this season, the Rams are projected to be, you know, at least go to the Super Bowl. Obviously, it'll be here in L.A., but they are projected. They are, on paper, at least the best team in the NFL right now.

The worst team is the Tennessee Titans. Oh, they're the worst? Wow. Yeah, and just above them, shockingly, is the Jets and the Cardinals and Browns and all the typical riffraff you'd see at the bottom. So we are going to now reach in, and each of us, one at a time, will pick the team that we are forced to support this season. And that is in a lot of ways. Tattoo, perhaps? We have to go.

Gear? You have to see the games as much as you can. Yeah, you can go to local bars for the team. If, say, the Rams are here playing that team, you should try and go to the game if you can. Yeah, and we could probably make that happen. And maybe you're listening right now because L.A. is a mix of people from all over the country, And one of us ends up being a diehard Packers fan all of a sudden. Not that you need more fans.

You can be a tutor for us. But you can help us out and you can let us know where to go. All the weird chants. So this is going to be how we look. And the worst part about this for us is whichever one of our teams does the worst this season is going to have a pretty bad punishment. I think the worst punishment we've ever done. Because it involves a lot of time and effort and travel. Are we going Greyhound for sure?

Or is that an option? Is that really the punishment? How about the train? And the train is a nicer punishment. Why don't we leave the transportation open? Because we don't know what's going to happen. Whichever one of our teams that we pick right now goes the furthest. This person will go to the Super Bowl this year.

Because it's right here in L.A. It's in L.A. and we feel like we can make that happen. And that's pretty cool. No matter what. Even if you've never really cared, I think going to a Super Bowl is a bucket list thing. Whichever one of our teams does the worst this season will have to travel to the city. and watch the Super Bowl in that city. And watch that team not be in the Super Bowl

among a bunch of fans of that team. They won't be watching that team. They'll be watching the teams in the Super Bowl, but they'll be going to, let's say, Cleveland for the weekend, which is a terrible punishment. My mom's from Cleveland. It's terrible. Yeah, and maybe you can fly,

but you have to fly a cheap airline, one of those sketchy ones. Or you can do Greyhound. Now, all of a sudden, we're going to pick a team that we don't care about at this exact second, but boy, we're going to start caring pretty soon. And I understand that this might be difficult for me if my team loses or wins

because I will be nine months pregnant by that point. My due date is on Super Bowl Sunday. So I'll either be at the Super Bowl nine months pregnant or I'll be in Cleveland. Or you'll be in the middle. True. You could be somewhere else. You could be in the hospital. Let's go ahead, Allie.

Do you want to draft first? Okay. Allie's reaching into the hat. We have an official NFL Rams hat right now. It's actually kind of hard to... The team that Allie will be... You can't even pull the name out of the hat? Well, because there's all this, like, padding in there,

all the pieces of paper. Just grab one of the teams. All 32 NFL teams are inside of that helmet. Oh, God. Allie, this season, we'll be supporting. Oh, no. Oh, no. What is it?

Oh, no. Please be Titans. Please be Titans. I got the Cardinals. Oh, my God. That is... I think they are the... You just said, I think they're, like, third to last.

Yeah, 30th. They're in a rebuilding mode right now. And there's so many games. By the way, if you lose, though, Arizona is not a bad place to go. I can visit my sister, I guess. If your sister's there and it's close by, you could go to those games for cheap. Squaw! No, you can't.

We already have a squaw on the show. At least it's not a team that I hate-hate. I would rather the Cardinals than the Rams or the Seahawks. Allie is a card-carrying Cardinals fan right now. Bring Vanessa in to pick her team. Vanessa, pick your team here out of the helmet. Allie's going to be the car. That's great.

I'm so glad. God, they're so... They're like a fun bad team, though. Yeah, I will say that. They're bad, but they're... But no one cares enough about them. I think they're, like, better than most, but they're just in a rough division. Yeah, hold on.

Vanessa's reaching in now. And I want Miami Dolphins because if this is a punishment, this whole thing is a punishment for me. At least you want to go to a cool city. At least I want to go to Miami. Or second choice, 49ers. You're rooting for the Miami Fish? Yeah, I don't care. This is like when you guys didn't care about the World Cup

This is the same thing for me This whole thing is a punishment Alright pick it The team that Vanessa The team that Vanessa will be supporting All NFL season long will be No This is a good team but I don't wanna

I got Los Angeles Rams What? Oh Vanessa Because that means like the fandom is gonna be all here And I have to be into it Yes, you're going to go to all the games. You might be going to the Super Bowl. No.

No, no, no. I'm going to request for trade right now. This feels so official because it's here. Yeah, that's great. What a team. I couldn't have. I'm so mad. She's so mad.

She's mad at that. I don't care for football. This is not my sport. Vanessa, that's the greatest pick you could have gotten out of that helmet. The greatest. All right, who's next? She just asked if we're doing switchies. Yeah, Johnny wants to trade with her.

I want to trade. First round draft. Can't trade. No trade. I'm going to trade. No trades. Johnny, get in here. Johnny's taking his team now out of the helmet.

We are forcing fandom upon each other for the new NFL season. Don't look. We will be diehard, diehard fans. Here he is. He's reaching in, Johnny. All right, all right. Reaching the helmet. This is the team that Johnny will be supporting.

And by the way, when I say supporting, I mean we're buying merch ASAP. We are wearing stuff. You're going to be forced to have conversations. Oh. Johnny. No one's having a good noise yet. The Denver Broncos? Oh!

You're going to be talking to Brandon in the halls a lot. Hey, that is funny, too, that there's a co-worker who's a huge Broncos fan that now you have to make small talk with. A lot of small talk, dude. He doesn't even like me. That's not a bad city to visit, though. Go to Colorado. My buddy lives out there.

She lives out there. I will say, the Broncos this season. I think they're pretty good, aren't they? Yeah, they're supposedly going to be the fifth best team in football right now. They have a chance to do things. They were good last year. I would like to trade. Nope.

But I'm submitting a trade block, which is legal to do. Who are you going to trade with? I would like to trade for the Los Angeles Rams. I think they have a great chance this season. Whoever gets Miami gets mine. Okay, I want Miami. I want Miami. All right, Jake, come take your pick quickly.

It's forced fandom now. We all have the NFL teams that we grew up liking. And it would be funny for me if Jake had to pull a team that was... I will hope he picks the Niners. Yeah, right. If he picks the Niners or a team that's right, rivals. It's going to ruin his season anyway. Jake has got

his Seahawks hat on right now, his Seahawks t-shirt on right now. He looks like a real make-a-wish. He's head of the K-Rock Studios and the team he'll be supporting this NFL season is? The Packers. Hey, that's fun at least. Jake does look like a Lambo guy. Totally. Jake. You can see

him with one of those cheese head things on. His bald spots. And those big giant coats. And it protects my musk. Omar, you want us to draft for you? Yeah, go ahead. This is Omar's team this season. Omar loves sports, as you know. He's a big

sports guy. Alright, Omar is supporting his daughter's softball team. Oh, god damn it! Omar got the Commanders. I'm so annoyed by that now. I bet you Omar didn't even know if I just said Commanders, he wouldn't have even known this day. Omar's got the Commanders.

Now, Omar, I'll give you some stuff. I got some merch. I'll do a throwback. Can I call him the Redskins? Yeah, you can. Bring it back, baby. You know, and I'll do, like, the offensive chant. Omar's the perfect fan. Hey, Omar, you're one of them, so you can say it, I think, right? You know what I mean? He's not new.

Oh, he's not? I thought he was. All right. The only paper that I was able to grab, please be Dolphins. Please. The team I will be supporting this NFL season. And you know what? You get my support.

You get a lot of support. This is interesting. What'd you get? Because I actually hate this team. And I shouldn't hate them because a lot of people that were Washington fans became Baltimore Ravens fans. Oh, the Ravens. Technically, that is... That's your other team from your city where you're from.

I mean, that is the team I should support, but I don't like them. Because I think a lot of people jumped off the Washington bandwagon when the Ravens got a team. Man, I really wish you'd gotten the Cowboys. Anyone want the Ravens? Anyone want to do a trade? I'll trade. You want to be a Packers fan? Ravens are purple.

Oh, give it to him. He loves purple. Give it to him. He's going through a breakup in a month. All right, these are our teams this NFL season. So once again, I'm with the Ravens. I'll ride with the Ravens. That's fine.

Yeah, come on. Let's do what we got. I feel like a lot of people are going to think that I finally caved on being, and that sucks. At least no one got the Eagles. Yeah, that's a good thing. That would have been annoying, too, because then you would have had camaraderie with those fans. So this NFL season, Omar is a huge Washington Commanders fan, but he's going old school. We'll call him the Redskins.

Love it. That's it, right? No, no, no. That's what you do? No, we don't. Are you sure? You got to show me the ways then, man. We can't do that anymore.

9-0-9 said if Allie loses, she should have to give birth in that city. Oh, man. Allie's an Arizona Cardinals fan. It's not looking good for you. I'm just saying as far as records go. I think I got the worst team. I think you did. By a lot, too.

Yeah, you guys all drafted pretty good teams. All of us pulled decent teams out of the helmet. I mean, all the teams we picked are at least supposed to be above 500 wins. 500%. You know not the case. I think I'm going to Arizona to have a baby. On a Greyhound bus. We've got to take a break.

I need it. Happy NFL season, Warshun. Let's get into your ADD news right now. Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. We give you tickets to go to Knott's Scary Farm opening night. If you want them, be ready to call the second we're done with this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

If you have an LG TV, it could be spying on you. Of course, LG. LGBT, a gay lesbian what? LG TV. Oh, LG TV. Oh, I stand by that. I have an ally. LGBT is also spying on you.

Okay, that's what I figured. From gossip. Every glory hole you visit, we're watching. An LG TV. An LG TV. Got it. Those are new ways to identify. Okay.

I'm a Samsung, but I identify as LG TV. Yeah, I support you. LG is denying this, for the record, but they basically did some research and found out that LG TVs were said to be recording, scanning local area networks, logging data, and recording audio while off or in standby mode. So I know a lot of people want a smart TV, but of course, when something's smart, it could be tracking, listening, logging. And do you really want it to be logging? I always say that my life is so boring, I don't really care who's watching or downloading or recording me. But for other people who care about what they do or care about their privacy, this could be an issue. I am blown away by, you know, people always will say things like, I was talking about some random city,

And then I started getting serviced ads to fly to that city, right? You hear that all the time. We're constantly being spied on. This is one of the craziest stories I've ever heard. It's on the GOAT line. And it just happened to someone because of our show. And I want to warn you that you are being spied on. Listen to this.

I meet Jake one time for like 30 seconds at the Kager. And now my Instagram feed is showing me multiple ads for IBS and alternative clients. Like, I'm talking every other ad is IBS or ulcerative colitis research. Like, this means nothing to my life except for that I met Jake. Thanks a lot. She met Jake one time for 30 seconds. And now she's getting nonstop ads for all of Jake's weird bowel conditions on her phone. That's crazy.

I wonder if you mentioned IBS or ulcerative colitis or if it just knew based on your voice. Yeah, it probably just knew. That's the voice of ulcerative colitis. This poor woman now is getting inundated with it. So we are all being perved upon. I can relate to this story because it feels like it's been happening to me. But what if your boobs never stopped growing? It happened to this woman as soon as her boobs came in.

She was all excited like most women might be. But that excitement quickly changed when they continued to grow and get bigger and bigger and bigger and have since become so massive that she can barely live a normal life. 28 year old summer robert began developing breasts since she was just seven and they haven't stopped growing since she lives with an incredibly rare condition called macromassia where her breasts are larger than average and continue to grow yeah after recently reaching size 30 he goes like yeah that was quite a she's a citizen of the century larger than average and continue to grow yeah Yeah, after recently reaching size 30U.

U. 30U. Sweet knockers. Wow. So think of A, B, C, D, and all the way down to U, there's barely any letters left. And she's only in her 20s. They're going to keep getting bigger. Does it go through the whole alphabet and then go back to doubles?

Or no, because it goes A, B, C, D, double D, triple D. Yes. Well, there's A, double A, B, double B, C, double. Oh, there's double A? Mm-hmm. Really? Just like the batteries. Huh.

I get catcalled like 24-7. i was with my friend and a man came up to us and went have you started breastfeeding yet i think they can just say anything they want because obviously like i have big boobs but you are much more comfortable with you your where you are now and who you are and you can see you absolutely own your physique which is fantastic to see from a confidence perspective he's talking about our confidence it's right i bet he is he's concerned about that but it hasn't always been like that what was that change how have you got to this point do you think so it wasn't until like i got like an online community i started my job and then after i started my job everyone which is definitely

only fans right gotta be maybe hooters it was just so like welcoming um and obviously like everyone was so welcoming to her of course online my condition there's nothing about it like no one knows anything about it like the nhs doesn't know anything about it you can't even google it and find, like, an NHS page. There's nothing. So there's... Well, this is the cause we've got to get behind. She's the only one. You know, we've always talked about our show, Get Behind the Cause, and I know we've talked about vets and animals and stuff, but, I mean, this

seems like something we need to get behind immediately. Oh, yeah. Get behind, get under. Yeah. Motorboat. We've got to get all up in this cause. By the way, book her, Vanessa, please book her on the show immediately. Thank you. What's her name? Summer something? Do we know what her name is? She lives in Australia.

That's all right. Bring her here. Thank you, Vanessa. Open with that when you email her. After all these years, we finally know how long a shower could take. According to a new... Should take, I should say. According to a new study, Americans spend about 16 minutes showering, often using the hot water for relaxation or warming up. But experts say extended soaking is just a habit, not hygiene.

New research from the University of Siri claims... The University of Siri, very important college. Don't we all have that in our pocket? I think we're all classmates and members. University of Surrey, what is this shower thing? Go ahead. Three minutes is usually all you need to get clean with an extra two for shampooing. Who has 16 minutes in the morning?

Well, he's mad about it. Pits and slits. We've always said it, guys. Pits and slits. If I'm just doing a quick wash where I'm not washing my hair, it really only does take me five minutes. There's no reason to be in there longer. Yeah.

But if I'm showering and I'm doing an everything shower where I'm washing my hair, I'm shaving everything. I mean, just the downstairs area. It's a long time there. So that's definitely 20 plus minutes. She's got a whole gardening crew that comes in to help her downstairs. Weed whackers. They're all there. All of them. Jose over there. That one over there. This woman. That one's

there. We're going to do a brand new hour of the show right now. If you call at 20, we've got good news for you. Four tickets. Opening night. Not Scary Farm at 800-520-1067. Call now.