Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 2- Pet Problems, Ally's Luau and MORE

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Good morning. Just after 8 o'clock it is Monday. We are Klein Alley Show live and duck at it again if you need us. Phones, text line 800-520-1067. A lot of messages on the GOAT line about a variety of topics while we were away, including this person. Baby, I miss you. Come back. Come back on the air, please.

We need you. We miss you! Mommy, Daddy, please! We're back on the air, as you requested. Other people saying that they didn't mind us not being here. In fact, some enjoyed it. They got to listen to some stuff that they had never heard before, as a matter of fact. Here is another person. Hold on. Is this good or bad? It's hard to tell anymore.

We haven't had a chance to put them in their respective floors. No, no, no. I would assume bad. Hey, what's up, guys? Sweet Knockers. Hey, so I totally get that you guys need time off. and you deserve it you guys are the best but here's the deal I drive around a lot for my job so I work Tuesday through Saturday

I listen to the show one day late in podcast form and it keeps me entertained as I drive around then I get a week of nothing to listen to but best of which I still do but they're not nearly as fun because I've listened to every single bit

because I listen to every single show and I thought I liked my job, and I think I've come to realize that I like my job because I get to listen to your guys' show, and when your guys' show is not new material, I don't really like

my job that much. Sorry you had to learn it that way, but get a new job. Or we won't take any more time off for the foreseeable future. No, no, and I understand that it's part of the grind of it all, right? You're just on a drive, same drive that you do

every single morning we get it we do the same drive every single morning but when you have one thing that you can depend on and then it's not there i get that that's just wait till you hear jake's worst day ever you'll feel much better about your job when you hear about that coming up a little bit later also we have less than an hour to go until we give you some disneyland tickets so let's get you into disneyland so something to look forward to this summer 210 said i was listening to educational podcasts while you guys were away i'd love to know what your b content was uh yeah you could also still listen to us technically it's stuff you've heard before, but maybe not. It's new to you. No one's got

short-term memory anymore. Now, let's go ahead and call someone right now who's sitting on his standby boarding list after he shared all those great stories about air travel, and let's give someone a flight across the country as we go ahead and give the good news that someone will be going to the Vans Warped Tour in

Orlando, Florida. Who will it be? Big list here of names, all people that qualified last week. We weren't here, but I guess we were still giving you chances to win stuff, and we are attempting to Hopefully this person answers. If not, it's going to be someone else's day to celebrate.

Or maybe they don't want to fly. This person is going to wake up to a missed call that they're going to be really bummed about. Unless they think going to Florida is a punishment. You could also see people would think that. Everyone I've talked to who's been there seems to think so. Oh, man. Bad news. This person's about to get...

Your call has been called. Oh, sucks to suck, as they say. She got tickets to that lady. She answers everyone's calls. Sure does. Never gets the time off. Let's go try someone else now. This is what happens.

People say, what are the odds of me actually winning these trips? Well, the odds are great if you call and if you text us. Even better if you answer when you finally get selected off the standby list. So now we are on caller person name number two. And these names have been randomly regenerated for us. I don't blame you. I don't even know what our number comes up as when we call people. But is it private or possible spam?

I feel like it would come up as possible spam, wouldn't it? And this is why... I mean, it's an 800 number. You guys, you give me a hard time because I answer every call I get, regardless if it's definitely... I mean, sometimes... The call has been forwarded to another person. There she is again. There she is again.

Different person. All right. Now I'm trying someone on the 714. Let's see if they answer for this trip. Can't give away trips today. Whoever wins this trip, I advise you to not forget your AirPods. AirPods, because I forgot my AirPods over the break, and I was forced to raw dog my flight all the way to my destination and all the way back.

Five and a half hour flight. Did you buy some crappy ones on the plane, though? They didn't have them, because they didn't even have video screens. Oh, man. They just had that little... Oh, hello? Hi, is this Don? It is.

Hey, Don, here's the good news. You are not necessarily technically the winner of this trip to Orlando to see The Paradox, the Vans Warped Tour, because we did try to call multiple other people first, but they didn't answer. So as a result of them not answering, you are the winner. No way. That is awesome. What did we come up as on your phone, by the way?

Was it possible spam? No, it just says Los Angeles, California. Nice. Nice and generic. Generic Los Angeles. All right. And you answer most generic numbers that call you? I usually don't.

But your text message yesterday said, be prepared. So I was prepared. Yeah, all of the finalists get a be prepared. Well, you've been prepared. We send out warning texts. We send out warnings to let everyone know. All right, congratulations. Hey, here's the good news.

Thank you. You are heading to Orlando Vans Warped Tour, The Paradox, and many other bands. And that trip is officially now yours, Don. It's part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. Get it on. Ali's show. In a moment, Ali will share with us something she got to experience during her trip to Hawaii. It was much more than just her horny stepfather erupting all over her mother.

But she got to experience something that I think is oftentimes sold as one of the greatest experiences you could have. And I believe she found it to be incredibly overrated. And there's lots of things in our lifetime that you think are going to be great. Like, I talked to a lot of people that went to World Cup games, very jealous. And they said it was so much better than even they anticipated. Oh, really? Yeah, like obviously it was expensive, but they were like once in a lifetime opportunity. And yeah, the tickets were more than I wanted, but it was so amazing.

And there are things sometimes that live up and then there's the opposite. There's things you think will be great and then you go experience them and you go, wow, that was a total letdown. Things that are on your bucket list, like even something simple like skydiving. Right, you do it, you go, I had a guy strapped to my back and I think he was like chubbed up for most of it. I could feel a half chub of the flight instructor. That was not worth it. I didn't really like that so much. It's something that I experienced on my trip to Hawaii that I had never experienced before.

I think most people do do this when they go to any of the Hawaiian islands. They force you to do it. If you don't do it, you feel like you're missing out. We'll get to that in a moment and hear your stories as well at 805-201-067. Continue to get through some of the many calls that were waiting around for us on the GOAT line as well. Hi, Klein and Allie. Hey, this is Joni from the 925. And you know how Klein has his waiting slice when he gets a pizza?

Well, I go to this taco truck and I order a supreme burrito, but I also get a waiting taco. Love it. It's great. Just a little something, a little sauce on it. If it's going to take them time to make the real thing, you should get the quick thing that can be made instantly and have that while you are waiting around for what you really want. Because you can still slam down the burrito. Yeah.

They'll tell me sometimes it's going to be 10 minutes for a pizza. I go, great. I'll take one of those slices right there and just hand that to be cold. I'll nibble on that while you make my pizza. Don't even put it in the oven. Don't waste my time. Just hand it right to me. I don't even need a paper.

Is that dried cheese? I want that in my mouth. I can eat it in my car before I get home. Anyway, I hope you guys had a great Fourth of July. Love you. Bye. Dibbily-doo. Thank you for the call.

Appreciate you. Back in a moment, things in life that you thought would be great, experienced them, realized, very overrated. Happened to Allie this past week. What happened to you? We'll get your stories, and we'll be back with that after this on KROQ. Overrated experiences. You thought about them.

Maybe you thought about them your whole life. You finally went and did it. You're like, this is what I got to do. And then you experience it and you go, well, that kind of sucked. Yeah, and you've done this experience before. And you kind of warned me about this before we were leaving on our break. Because I said I was going to do it. I had never done it before.

It was pitched by my family. I was on a family vacation. And they said, the whole family is going to do this. Are you in? And I said yes to the luau. Which essentially is a big group of white people donning leis. and culturally appropriating the Hawaiian culture while being taught to hula dance by a Hawaiian person.

And then there's some fire dancing. Or is there? Yeah, that's one of those things that kind of got the Benihana treatment where all the cool things about the luo, I think, have been slowly phased out. So you get a lot, like in the pictures on the websites, you do see a lot of what looks like fire dancing. What you see is the last two minutes of the show, which is them dancing with fire sticks.

I signed up for one because the picture I saw, the woman had a coconut bra with two spinny fire sticks on the bra and was spinning her boobs around a helicopter in flames. And I said, that's the family luau for me. There was one ad I saw that said it was the most dangerous fire show on the island. And I was like, great. It was fire and knives. Yeah. In person, I got none of that. Dude.

Is there no fire breathing? There was no fire breathing. They don't do fire breathing, Omar. That is a stereotype. They did a fire spinning with the stick. Their biggest trick was putting the fire through the leg. Oh, I've got the stick on one side of the leg and my other stick on the other side. Yeah, but you see that giant dead pig on the table, right?

That's the other thing, Omar, is I thought when I was going to walk in after they laid me, I thought I was going to see a giant roasting, suckling pig. Did they fight when you got there as to who had to lay you? Did they go, like, I don't want to. I won't be able to get it over her. Do you think you were the pig? Just put this apple in your mouth. It's still on the table.

She's here. Rotate, damn it. And my family had decided to spring for the prime viewing. Oh, what a scam. So we had the ticket that was like one of the closer tables to the stage. Your folding table was three inches closer than the people that got the Groupon for the same. Exactly. The same luau.

Yes, and the things that are the biggest bonuses at the luau, I was not able to take advantage of. like, hey, over here there's a bar with unlimited alcohol. You can go back and forth as many times as you want. Every drink is included. Pregnant in a luau kind of sucks because a lot of it's that raw fit, the poke stuff. And everyone said that was the best part of the luau.

Best food item was the poke and I couldn't take part in that either. I got a separate little dish of avocado, tomato and cucumber. So sad. It was very sad. And then it's interesting that you mentioned the coconut broccolini because once it

got going we started eating and stuff they did these little pre-show things where it's like let me show you how to open a coconut let me tell you about you know the story of hawaii and how it started i'm glad you mentioned that this is where these little precursor ones where they're like the show's starting no it's not there here's the thing what i learned about this and i want to warn anyone it they try to make it educational they try and teach you about the whole story and i and at one point i said well we'll hold on here hold on here i'm not here to learn about your culture. I'm just here to insult him. I thought we're eating and there's someone with spinning

coconut boobs. And what is this that now I'm learning about the history of the culture? I didn't sign up for it. It all used to be one island and then it's separated and the whole thing. I'm not trying to graduate in Hawaii. I don't need a full lesson in this. They're like, our whole history lesson is being taught through dance and

through story. Terrible way to learn. And through song where they had all the songs as well. And then the guy blows into the conch shell. Yeah, they did the conch shell. I go, does that mean time to eat or what? No, no, no. That means time for another lesson. They also had little side activities that you could do, like painting.

And they had tribal tattoos, fake tribal tattoos that you could put on. And you could choose between a turtle and a tribal band. And, of course, my kid really wanted the little tattoos. So I got both of them on him. And then he goes, you get one, Mommy. I go, okay, I'm going to do the tribal one. And he proceeds to, it's like a rollover. It's like a paint roller.

And it doesn't even go all the way around my arm. And I'm like, can you finish my arm? And he goes, it's an eight-inch print, ma'am. That's all you get. You get eight inches next person. We weren't expecting the arms this big at the luau tonight. I'm sorry. So then at around, I mean, we get there at 5 o'clock, very early.

And by 7.30 is when the show finally starts. Also, they charge a buttload for these things. It was $350 a person. Yeah, the markup on a luau is astronomical. But they show all this stuff like, oh, this is unlimited food, but you can't eat that much of it. Some people can. I feel like every once in a while they get like a real mainlander that comes in there and throws down a bunch. But for the most part, they know the average person is not going to be able to shovel that much food down.

I know they're thinking, oh, a bunch of fat Americans are coming over. I know that we're all Americans in Hawaii, too, but they look at us differently. They really do hate the mainlanders there. Well, I don't know if they hate them, but I think there's a little animosity there. I think you've got to be grateful for the tourism and that kind of thing. The fact that we're ponying up so much money. I mean, it's expensive there, too. It's like $10 for a cup of coffee.

So I think it's nice that we're spending some money. But still, there are a lot of little things as well with the service. It's like you're paying a lot of money to be there. And they're like, can I get anyone anything? I'm like, oh, can I get some water? And they're like, yeah, the water dispenser's over there. This is why I've made a very unpopular opinion that I agree with. But I think traveling to Mexico, to me, I like better than going to Hawaii.

I think it's closer. I think the people are nicer there, friendlier. I think the food is better. The packages, I think, are better when people do those. And they don't try to bamboozle you into some weird show where they're going to not do spinning coconut bras. We're not going to teach you anything. So then the show starts, and then the ladies are dancing, and they've got on full dresses. They've got their bellies covered.

They've got sleeves all the way down to their wrists. It's not sexy. I'm like, what is going on there? Like, I think we got a family-friendly one. Right. I'm like, what is going on? Where are the coconut bars? So I thought I accidentally signed up for a gay luau because of the one I went to,

even though the website had all good-looking women, when you got there, the women were all not good-looking, wearing huge dresses, and the guys were wearing loincloths and all jacked and ripped. Yes, and their asses are out. Right, and I'm going, what is happening here? What a switcheroo this is. Yes, I know. And then finally, they're teasing and teasing and teasing.

We're going to get to the fire dancing, but first this. We're going to get to the fire dancing, but first this. I mean, at like 8.15, we're all exhausted and full. And they're like, now we want to acknowledge all the anniversaries and birthdays that are taking place at the luau right now. Please stand up, Dawn and Tiffany. Congrats on 50 years. Then the last three and a half minutes, you got some fire dancing and now get the hell out of here. Yeah, these are experiences that you think you have to do.

It's almost the pressure. When am I going to be in Hawaii? I've got to do a luau. I mean, I've been to Hawaii a few times. I've never thought to do this. Hey, Michelle, what experience did you have that you found to be incredibly disappointing, even though you were super excited about it? Hey, guys, good morning.

I did a solo trip, you know, eat, pray, love, Costa Rica by myself. I fell for the scam, bungee jumping, never done it, bucket listing. I did it. I was stuck upside down for 13 minutes. Oh. Why? Because it pulled me up. I was so twisted.

And, you know, my core, not strong either, could not get up. And to top it off, I paid $300 for the GoPro footage that I could never have. That's the best one to get to the end with that. Would you like to live this for a moment forever? They always ask you beforehand. It's you hanging upside down for 13 minutes. So you have GoPro footage of you hanging upside down for 13 minutes straight? Yeah, I do.

Never seen. Never seen. I'd like to see that. Yeah, we'd like to post that on Klein Alley Show if you'd let us borrow that, please. All right, well, I get it. Some things aren't worth it. Some things aren't worth it. You've got to experience them to know.

Klein Alley Show, some things aren't worth it. Add that to our mini list of slogans. I'm KROQ. Good morning. KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show. If you need to interact or want stuff from us like Disneyland tickets, which we'll have for you in about 20 minutes, the numbers you'll need, 800-520-1067. Hey, Kevin, you're on KROQ.

Good morning. What's up? Did you guys hear me? Yep. I take back my original answer to that question. We've said yes. Now it's your turn. Go ahead. This is how conversation works. Kevin, you're up. Go.

Yeah, hey, eclipses are lame. Thank you for that call. That was worth it. Totally worth it. Man, I could have said that. Save that for best of the next time we take some time off. Things that are overrated. Kevin.

We have a lot of messages that are sitting around the GOAT line, some sad ones. Apologies. You know, there's a lot of talk about the death of Sam Neill, the guy from Jurassic Park. But then there is our listeners and people that they've lost, things they've lost. And it even happens during the fireworks. As you know, the animals run wild once the fireworks start hitting up the skies because they can't deal with it. Listen to this guy. Hey, guys.

I just wanted to welcome you back from your vacation. I lost my cat two weeks ago and it's been really hard to get up in the morning these days but I just want to let you know that you make it easier and I'm happy that

you're back because it'll be a little easier thank you love you is that spot on or what? have a good one sorry about the cat and I'm sure that that sucks But the good news is there seems to be tons of them just rung around out there.

As somebody who has three cats, let me assure you, it's much easier to wake up without them. Yeah. It says it's harder to wake up without his cat. I'm telling you, I was so happy being away from all my animals. Did you even do anything? Or, like, did you even leave food or just leave the house? I left a dead body in the middle of the living room. Yeah.

I mean, I've gnawed on that for a while. Yeah, they're fine. It feels like there's not much that has to be done, right? You didn't have to have a cat sitter? We did have to have somebody that came over because there, you know, there's three of them. Oh, you did have to have somebody? We had a hoarder lady stay there. Oh, nice.

No. She's already there? Yeah, it smelled. I mean, being away from pets, even just having the responsibility of any pet, when you get back, you're like, why do I have these things again? Yeah, it's... I feel like I should, we should just get rid of them. You're talking to a guy whose dog has been skunked and fleed multiple times over the last few weeks. Like, if you could do it over again, would you even get one?

Yes, but the sad thing is it's the mistake that you make over and over again because there's that unconditional love. Because when you see the puppy or the kitten, you're like, oh, yay. You don't think about all this other crap that you have to deal with, literally. That's the best part, too, because I've got a buddy now. In fact, even Justin here on the show, Ginger Justin, this dog, this is a free dog. Oh, he got a lemon. A free dog that he has now spent, I want to say, just in the calculations I've done,

close to $15,000 just to keep the thing walking over the last few months. I mean, it's... Give it to the Vanessa. The guy had the ACL surgery, the dog, and if it jumped up on a couch, and any time over the next six months, the whole surgery falls apart. You got a Conor McGregor dog. You have to stay home and make sure the dog didn't jump. You have to stay home to make sure the dog would not jump on the couch.

This is what we do. The guy missed days of work because he goes, I got to protect the couch. This is when aliens land and go, these idiots, let me please put them out of their misery. We are idiots, but it's because I think we are made to love, and we can't love each other. You have your dog, for sure. Whacking him off. Right, I had to. For medical reasons.

I had to put that thing right. And I'd do it again, damn it. Little did I know. For medical reasons. That whole story about me having to go and get the KY and have to put my dog's gong back in the whatever, the sheath or whatever they called it. I realize now that this has happened a million times since. I didn't have to do that at all. The thing eventually goes back.

This is the part that sucks. Some vet decided to have some fun with me. That's the part that sucks? Yeah, me sitting in the parking lot of a CVS whacking my dog off because I thought the thing wasn't going to go back in by itself. was what the vet told me to do. And clearly the vet just got off the phone and had a good laugh and goes, I can't believe this guy's really going to do it.

And meanwhile, this has happened a million... Let's go to the parking lot, Cam. I've got to see this. This has happened a million times since to my dog, and I just time... Why do you keep doing it? I don't do it anymore now, Jake. I let gravity take care of the rest.

I feel like a spray bottle would have fixed it. We get back in a second. When we return, we have news to get to. We'll find out who's the most and least fun on the show, and we get you into Disneyland with not one, not two, not three, but four tickets. And that's all happening after this quick break right here on k rock get into your add news then a brand new hour of the show will begin first thing

we do is get you four tickets to disneyland we'll do that at nine noon three and six every day this week our way of saying sorry we were off last week make it up to you with giving you disneyland tickets all will be forgotten and forgiven and that is after this grab your adderall it's time for add news must be a nice feeling sending your kid off to a summer camp you have a week or more of a kidless existence, I'm sure it's a freeing feeling. But then imagine, you leave, you drop them off,

and you get a call right afterwards saying there's been a once-in-a-lifetime flood. You must pick your kid up immediately. Camp is canceled. And this happened at a summer camp in Missouri over the weekend. Unexpected flash flooding trapped all of the campers and staff

at Camp Tom Sock. They had to enlist eight... Tom Sock? Tom Sock? Tom Sock? T-A-U-M? Tom? Not sure how to pronounce that.

But they enlisted eight Blackhawk helicopter crews to evacuate all the campers and staff. Everyone was okay. But, of course, everyone freaked out because you recall last year at Camp Mystic, there was a freak flash flood in Texas. And that was a tragic situation. Twenty-five people died in that flash flood. So, of course, everybody was ready to rescue in this moment. But it was unexpected. And it seems that, you know, once camp is canceled, it's not going to be rescheduled again.

That's it. I know a family, friends of one of my kids, and their parents sent them to a camp, I think in Pennsylvania, East Coast, sent them somewhere. And immediately said, great, we're going to have the summer. We're going to take a vacation. Haven't done a vacation in a while without kids. And they went and they landed. I believe they went to France, maybe. And when they got off the plane, they landed and turned the phones back on.

And they had a message that their camp had also had a storm. and all of the cabins were uninhabitable. What the hell? And they had to come pick their kids up immediately. And they got this message after landing in France. Check your phone. Yeah, just don't check your phone. They would have figured it out.

Checking into the ocean. Make all the camps underground or something. Let's figure it out. For the most part. Why is everyone trapped? It's a survival camp now. Right, now it's a different theme. I know that you thought this was a space camp,

but guess what? Now it's a survival camp. It's a prison camp. So get ready. But that sucks for the kids, sucks for the parents, sucks for everyone. I mean, it sucks for everybody. It sucks for everyone. But also, think about camps for the most part.

These structures, I don't think they would get proper clearance. Well, they're like old log cabins and stuff, right? It's rickety, and some of them are tents, some of them are cabin-ish. I mean, it's the same cabin that teenagers have been making out in for the past, you know, 80 years or something like that. Termite, rid, like the fact they stand up even over a drizzle seems surprising. So when all of a sudden some real weather comes, El Nino-style weather, they can't hang. Can't hang. So here's the newest thing that could possibly kill you, your own pants, at least if you got them from Zara.

Zara gets in trouble for their clothes often, but usually it's for offensive clothing like selling swastika shirts or concentration camp shirts. We thought it was a design. We didn't realize that we made a bunch of these swastika shirts, but oh well. They tried to say they were sheriff shirts. Yeah, it's a sheriff badge. I was like, that's a Star of David, and this is a black and white, pinstriped prison shirt. Those are Holocaust prison shirts. Oh, are they?

It's a sheriff. It's part of our summer wardrobe. So these are not offensive, but they are earning the nickname death trousers or death pants because so many injuries have happened from these $45 wide-leg pants. Some people are claiming that the pants cause them to trip and get injured, with some people saying that they even ended up in hospital. Not hospital. Most post injuries of scrapes on their knees or hands,

but some others have posted about a bruised ankle and even a broken elbow. On social media, some jokingly say they've fallen victim to the pants. The flowing wide-leg trousers come in multiple colors online and are marketed at $45. These women say it's not the length that's the problem, but more the width of the trousers. They're so wide that their feet get caught and then they trip. Hilarious.

Clearly, we all have to buy a pair and wear them for the day and see what happens to us. The death pants? Yeah, we all have to buy a pair of the big baggy pants. And we have to get the same size for Vanessa. Same size.

I mean, that's... Vanessa probably does wear the baggiest pants of everyone on the show. Yeah, I mean, I'm wearing some wide-leg pants. I could imagine tripping... Just because you have wide legs

doesn't mean you have wide-leg pants, Allie. These are skinny jeans. Allie's made those pants wide-leg. These are death pants because they're cutting off my circulation. I think that...

Are those still available or did they pull them, the death pants? I haven't seen anything about pulling them yet. I think it's just about the accidents that have been reported. Let me see if we can find them online.

Yeah, if we could all buy a pair of death pants. I guess I don't enjoy a search death pants. Zara death pants. Zara death pants. And see if any of us can make it through the day. Sisterhood of the Traveling Death Pants. Yeah, it'll be such a sad competition series to see which one. Oh, man, these are very wide-legged.

Really? Yeah. Like comically wide? I mean, they're like clown pants. Yeah, that's the new look. I hate this look. I see this everywhere now. Especially, a lot of women are wearing these big, baggy-ass jean shorts.

look like the kind of jean shorts that Kevin Smith wore for years? Yes, like big dyke shorts. Or Jake shorts. I don't wear those types of shorts. Fat guys wear them to hide their body, but I don't like all these good-looking people trying to wear them.

And then you think you would counteract it with a little tiny top, but it's like giant tops. Giant. Everyone's all hidden under tarps these days. That's what I do. I can't figure it out. And you know what?

If I did that, I would look still massive. Yeah, it'd be so funny. You need to just be a stick figure to even look good at that. If you just have a regular-ass woman body, you look enormous. It's not flattering at all. One of the many things I hate paying for at all costs is water.

Why should I pay for something that comes for free from the sky? Or a bathroom faucet? But at Erewhon, you can pay or overpay for anything, including water. And a lot of people are spending $12 on a cup of water at Erewhon. They call it sacred water. It's described as a clarified herbal tonic served as a refreshing elixir poured over ice. If you go into Air One and give them $12 for a cup of water, they should take the water and pour it, throw it right in your face and say, all right, you're a sucker. You're a sucker.

And then they wake you up out of whatever weirdness you're in. But people are saying I had it by multiple cups. Why? Because it was just so good. Oh, stop it. No one said that. You think Air One just does this stuff for publicity? Of course.

Yes. Like the $20 strawberry that we got suckered into? I think Zara's doing this with the pants, too. They want people to fall over? They want everyone to fall over. They're like, we haven't gotten in trouble for anything. Let's make people die. You think they have models on runways wearing their pants until finally someone trips and falls off?

Push her over. That's the one. Get some publicity. It includes coconut water, organic jasmine tea, raw honey, holy basil, whatever the hell that is, anise, hyssop, green cardamom, white grape juice, and more coconut milk. No protein? Klein's out. I'm out. But also, that's not really water.

At this point, the headline is $12 for a cup of water. It's a tonic. but that's not a water because it's got a bunch of crap in it. It's sacred water. But this is all infused. It's not straight up. Infused with stupidity if you buy it.

That's what it's infused with. Yeah, so when you look at it, it just looks like a clear cup of water. It doesn't have a color to it. How many ounces are you getting? I think it's a 16-ounce cup. I got a jug of jizz. Oh, that's what it is.

That explains it. It's sacred holy water. My mom's lived off of it for years. That's right. That's the recipe. All right, well, on that uplifting roundup, we will get into a brand new hour of the show in a moment. Do you think that you'd be able to tell that water from any other cup of water in a blind taste test?

I mean, the answer is I would be able to because it's got a bunch of flavors in it. But if you were to give me that water, let's say, against a couple of other flavored waters. Like LaCroix? I don't think I'd be able to say, like, this $12 one tastes significantly better. I feel like I could take a tap water from the K-Rock kitchen. That's infused with botulism. Yeah, that's infused with all sorts of stuff. failed careers and

pesticides and everything else. Remnants of Hawaiian shirts. I think you could do that, but you could also I mean, I think it would be very easy to just squeeze a lemon in something and say it's some sort of holy water. We should sell $50 cups of water outside of Irwan.

Even if we sell one cup, we're making money. See if we can do it. The very first thing we do after this song is get you into Disneyland. If you want to win, call now. We call at 1-800-520-1067 at 9 o'clock exactly. and let's get you into Disneyland next on KROQ.