Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 2- Petty Claims Court, ADD News and MORE

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. This is the world famous K-Rock. This is getting spicy!

Getting spicy this hour here on K-Rock. That's the sweet sounds of Vanessa, very excited about Columbia's win, World Cup. Although, Vanessa, I'm not sure if I was understanding this correctly, because I still don't really understand how the World Cup works, but I think they were saying it didn't really matter if Columbia won or lost last night, or even tied, they were still going to move on. No, it matters because Portugal has the most points right now. And we're in the same.

No, you guys have the most points. You guys have six. Porto's? Potato balls? Those are the best. No, we only have four. And Portugal scored five yesterday. Playing the Porto balls?

Oh, man. I got a new favorite in the World Cup. Let's go, Porto balls. Yesterday after the game, I saw that you guys were leading. Leading. Yeah. Yes, but Portugal scored five goals. I don't think you know how it works.

I can eat five potato balls. You guys are automatically going to advance to the knockout round, I guess is the point. No matter what. Exactly, but we still needed a lot of goals. Five balls! No, I don't think that's right. Five potato balls. Can the soccer expert call us?

Because we don't know what we're talking about. Vanessa was going so nuts at the TV, and I go, I don't think she understands that it doesn't really matter at this point. It matters! Bye, baby! Oh, my God. That's her yelling, I'm dying. It's just wild.

I mean, this is real. Yeah, right now I see it. The standings are. Columbia's dying. No, Columbia's number one with six points. Portugal's number two with four points. And then DR Congo only has one point. Yeah, so Vanessa, I think the point is that even though they tied or lost the game, it wouldn't have mattered, right?

I don't care. We always got to score, baby. You wasted a lot of yelling at that TV yesterday. That's what we're getting at. They're like, why is she getting so worked up? They're in it anyway. But the Saturday game, that's going to be the stressful one. Because that one is win or lose, you go home, right?

I mean, lose, you go home. Knockout, that's how it goes. You're done. One and done. Saturday is going to be intense. I do kind of like how long this is now. You do? At first, I was like, this is way too much.

But now that it's getting, like, this part took a very long time. But now that it's finally wrapping up and going to get to the knockout part, you feel a little bit more invested. Hey, Vanessa, how do you feel about Cristian Ronaldo? Right now, I don't care about him. I only care about Colombia. Yeah, it's funny. Everyone universally loves Messi, except Vanessa hates Messi.

And this person heard the show yesterday, and she goes, finally, Vanessa and I agree on something. Hi. I have followed Vanessa through every decision she's ever made. And today, I realize she and I are kindred spirits because I, too, dislike Lionel Messi. I am Chilean, and just for that reason, we are arch enemies of the Argentinians.

So, Vanessa, you and I are one. Thank you. Bye. It's funny how the whole idea behind this is to bring the world together. That's what the World Cup's all about, but then it's just more reasons to be like, that's right, our country hates that country. I hate you, even though we're neighbors. It's healthy competition.

Yeah. It's healthy competition. It's a beautiful thing, and for those of you wondering where Vanessa's voice went, You just heard she lost it all yesterday at a bar screaming at a TV. She barely came in. Barely made it in today. Did you hear my last message?

Yeah. I might not come in. Actually, I'm coming in. Yeah, let's play that out. It's KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. Good morning. The hammer of justice isn't brought into the KROQ studios, also known as a gavel.

Or a gavel, depending on who you talk to here at KROQ. Right now, we are about to meet a couple. They are battling over something. Something petty. so petty that no one else would possibly waste their time hearing this case but we will and you have an opportunity to be a jury of their peers listen closely to both sides of the arguments and determine who's right who's wrong keep in mind your relationship could be fine now but something petty if not handled while petty could could explode into a massive issue that

rips apart at the very foundation of your relationship so without any further ado let's get into some petty claims court in the legal system cases are tried from supreme courts to small claims court but what about stuff that's too small for small claims court this is petty claims court say hi to monica we're putting the claim against her boyfriend no hold on not uh yes they've been together look at this sally they've been together for 15 years but they are not married why wow that sounds like we should probably start with that you're taking that can down the road man let me say hi to monica monica is that accurate you guys have been together 15 years, but no ring, no engagement,

no engaged to be engaged, nothing? Not quite yet. We just kind of moved out into our own place recently. You guys live together? Yes. And that's a recent thing? Yes, pretty recent. Within the last year or so.

So you guys were living together, but with also family, or you had never moved in? We just never... We rented rooms out, but now we have our own apartment now. Nice. So you gotta figure out, have you to like each other at that point yeah all right it seems like it's going well you know when you finally start really living with somebody a lot of the skeletons come out of the closet you realize

they do real weird stuff it's a lot of petty stuff because the reality is these are little things were easy to hide when you didn't live with the person now they kind of they see all your all your demons so what is the thing that's going on with your uh boyfriend longtime boyfriend and tim so like uh you know every night he snores very loud and then when he wakes up in the morning the alarm goes off continuously for like uh maybe an hour or so and he the snooze butt uh alarm goes off every 15 minutes for like uh like four times an hour so he's a frequent snoozer yes and is When the alarm is going off, is it an audible alarm or is it a vibration? No, it's that Android tune, and it's over and over again.

The top of Android. God, you're insane. And that happens, you say he snoozes over the course of an hour, so every 15 minutes, four different times each hour? Correct. So maybe like an hour or maybe two. That happened maybe a couple times. You're saying he snoozed before for two hours?

Yeah, and then I have to be like, hey, you got to turn off your alarm, buddy. You'll still snooze. Man, that sounds so nice, snoozing for two hours. Sounds amazing. But if you're the person that doesn't have to get up and you're being woken up every 15 minutes for two hours. Yeah, and you don't have to get up. That's annoying as hell. Like, I will sometimes snooze once.

I stopped doing it because my wife would punch me so hard in the D if the snooze went off a second time. She'd just get out already. My wife has gone, do you need to be up? Yeah. But I do a vibration alarm because we can't even handle the sound alarm anymore. It's too loud. So you're saying, Monica, that from experience, you have slept through over eight snoozes in a row before with that Android song repeating eight times. Yes, yes, that definitely has happened.

And what job does he have or what thing does he have to get up for? For two hours of leeway. He has the luxury. When this happens, it's usually on the weekends for some reason. I wonder if he doesn't even know the alarm is set. Exactly, like it's on a set schedule alarm. Yeah, he's got to do that. He's got to get rid of the Saturday, Sunday.

Now I can relate to this because every day at 11 a.m., Klein has an alarm that goes off, and it's just there. It's just letting us all know that it's 11 o'clock. There's no reason. There's nothing he has to do at that time. And even though this alarm is useless, he refuses to take off the alarm. It's a daily thing, and he still just silences it and keeps going. And then 10 minutes later, it'll let us know again that 10 minutes ago, it was 11 o'clock. And by the way, you like it because at this point, Allie, you turn to me and go, oh, it must be 11.

That's right. It's like my grandfather clock. Yeah, it's every day at 11. Hey, listen, there's certain places, you know, you go to like the Grove, the Farmer's Market. There's a lot of Big Ben in London. They like to make a big deal every time there's a new hour that starts. You're my Big Ben. I'm your Big Ben, baby.

All right, we say hi to Tim now. Tim is the husband who will have a chance to defend himself. Sorry, not the husband, the longtime boyfriend. Tim, you've been accused of snoozing excessively. She mentioned snoring as well, and I do believe we have some actual audio evidence that's been sent to us for this case, so that'll be interesting to get into. Tim, before we get into your side of the argument, do you agree with the claim that's been brought against you by your longtime girlfriend, Monica,

that you snooze sometimes up to eight times over the course of two hours? Nah, I don't think it's that many times. It's a little exaggerated, but, you know, there's good intentions behind those snoozes as well. What are the good intentions behind the snoozes? Well, you know, the night before, I really intend to maybe wake up early and maybe do a little exercise or some type of walk. But then when I wake up, you know, sometimes plans change, right? You never know what I'm going to be doing that morning.

Listen, the night before, you can be like, hey, tomorrow morning I'm going to get up. Tomorrow's the day I start my process. And then the alarm goes off. You're like, that seemed like it happened really quickly. Why did I set that for 7.15? I'm so comfortable in this bed right now. Being in the bed is always the better option. Of course, and it's really hard to get out of bed when you're so comfortable in the morning.

What am I supposed to do here? I really have good intentions going into it, but it doesn't usually turn out that way when I wake up. Well, y'all do that. That's everybody. It's human nature right there. Some people, they always claim if you really want to wake up the right way, you're supposed to get up zero snoozing. I think they say you're supposed to get out of bed within six seconds of your alarm going off. You just got to boom, boom, out of bed.

Three, two, one, rocket ship, I'm up, I'm out. Yes. So we have some audio that your wife sent us. This is apparently you snoring. Let's take a listen to this. Because apparently, she says, in addition to you waking her up in the morning with the multiple snoozes, she doesn't really get to sleep during the night because she has to hear this all the time. Ooh.

It's her laughing in the background as she's listening to you snore. It's diabolical. It really is. hey i give her props i mean the bear got all this honey that he needed now uh she clearly likes you still despite all of this um despite the bear joke objection objection that joke object to the joke is just uh grounds of no humor uh let's get into this though tim because in a moment the jury will vote is there anything you'd like to do other than saying that you

snooze with good intention to defend your actions because a lot of people are very heated right now if they if they live or sleep next to someone who is a multiple snoozer they say it is one of the most annoying ways to wake up well i mean you know if she would just get up with me then i wouldn't be keep hitting the snooze button that's all we need just get up together but she don't want to get up either and then she blames me for keep hitting the snooze button so wait are you a snoozer as well then uh i used to be but now i'm not right and what was the reason that you stopped snoozing because of that dang android tune i don't want to hear anything anymore and do you need to get up for anything are you employable or no uh yes i get up quite early without the

alarm i'm an early bird yeah 818 said they're voting against uh him just because of the android I mean, that's one reason why you're losing the jury. But listen, the jury will make a decision in a moment. The first 100 texts will determine who wins and who loses. If you're just joining us, the case we're dealing with right now is Monica is accusing Tim, her longtime boyfriend. They've recently moved in together. He has a terribly annoying habit where he will snooze minimum one hour, sometimes as much as two hours, by hitting the same snooze and that same Android song goes off over and over again.

This is after an entire night of her having to sleep next to this loud snoring sounds. That is such a high-pitched piercing snore. But that snore is, I think, much more pleasant than my snore. I mean, you've heard the one that Omar plays of me snoring. That clip is aggressive. Yours has more gravitas, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His is a little bit.

Or by gravitas, I mean health problems. A little femmy, his snore. All right, well, ten seconds to closing arguments. There's me. This is me right here. Difference. That's deep. That bear didn't get his honey.

No, that's funny. Thank you. And that's why it works. Sustained. Full circle. All right. Tim, you get 10 seconds of closing arguments. You get to go first, and the jury will vote.

Tim, whatever you want to say, the floor is yours. 10 seconds. Go ahead. Oh, you know, you just wake up in the morning, and you first wake up, it's like, FML, I'm not getting up right now. I need to sleep in at least for a few more minutes and, you know, get my mind wrapped around what I'm doing for the day and make sure we're good to go before I can just get up right away you know yeah you need a couple hours to think about your day people yeah exactly

you can't just run it right into it you know you need to have a good plan of action so you go to snooze and then you start dreaming of good thoughts and positive mind for the day yeah you need to get two hours to prepare yourself for getting out of bed every morning i get it all right that's a good argument that's if you were going to vote for tim you brought him to court uh petty claims court today monica you have 10 seconds and your time starts now go ahead yeah the android tune over and over again. No, I don't want anyone to ever do that. Like, dude, just get up

and turn the snooze off. I don't do it anymore either, and yeah, the snoring is super loud. It's right in my face all night, so I don't know what to do. Alright, the jury, it's time for you to vote. 800-520-1067. You can vote for Tim,

you can vote for Monica. There's a lot of heated debate happening right now on the text line and on the chat on YouTube as to who should win this battle at Petty Claims Court. The first 100 votes will determine who wins and who loses. And then we come back with your verdict and your tickets to go on a bus to see this band right here. It's Roy Lotus on K-Rod. Oh, man.

Let's get to a time to read the verdict and change someone's life forever. Will this relationship have what it takes to make it through a petty claims court? A couple relationships have come to us and gotten stronger. Others, this was it. Final nail in the coffin. So we will figure out. Listen, if they get to the bottom of this sleeping problem, I agree that sleep issues are in many ways, I think, responsible for a lot of relationships not being able to survive. Well, that's why sleep divorce has become very popular.

People sleeping in separate rooms or separate beds. And they've been together a long time. Now they're finally living together. And as we said before, this is when some of the major problems start to come up because you've already developed your habits. You're setting your ways at that point. And if you are someone who sleeps next to someone who is a serial snoozer and you have to hear them wake, you have to wake up when they wake up. Also, if you're not the person that's the power of one actually pushing the snooze, it's almost more annoying because you have no control. And some people let that thing play for 10, 20 seconds.

Oh, somebody said that they had now an ex-girlfriend, but he said that she would forget to turn off the alarm and then just get in the shower. Oh, my God. So then he just had to listen to the alarm or get up out of bed and turn it off himself. Right. I've made that mistake. I've hit the snooze before and then left the phone and left the room, and then it goes off again. You're not there to shut it off, and then that is, boy, someone gets real fired up.

Haley, you've got a lot of thoughts about this before we get to the official ruling of the verdict. What's up? So this happened to me literally this morning, but I feel like I'm very savvy with my alarms. I have many, many alarms that I don't set them all, but I'm very quick with turning them off. I have family staying with me,

So I have not been able to get any sleep. And so I think like just a little bit, 20 minutes, like that makes a difference. But also I wouldn't be like having my alarm go off because as soon as I hear it, I'm quick to get it. It's not like I'm a slow person with that. I think it's a skill issue on some people's end or they're just. Yeah, you have to be a fast snoozer if you're a snoozer. You got to be like a ninja. Hit that thing almost beep, beep, beep, done, off.

Yeah, I get it. 818 said they vote for Monica because one snooze is excusable, but multiple snoozes is preposterous. And 208 said, I'm a chronic snoozer, too, and she should keep a squirt bottle next to the bed and spray him when his alarm goes off. It's an interesting way for him to learn the lesson. Is this the sound you're waking up to every day, Monica? Is this what it sounds like? I'm just curious because we were trying to play around with the different ones it could be, and there's so many options. But you say it's the default for Samsung, or is this the thing you're waking up to?

Yes, that's the one. That's the one. OMG. Triggering. Triggering. Very triggering. OMG. Turn it off.

So you're hearing this multiple times. And how far into the song does it get before he cuts it? That's the song of my dreams. This is like the soundtrack of her life. It's like her nightmares of she's stabbing her boyfriend. Yeah. All right, just making sure that's the terrible song. That's the one.

Yep, you found it. All right, we found it. You found it. Thank you. All right, let's get to the official ruling now, Allie. We've read many votes that have poured through. Tim, you understand the ruling is final here at Petty Claims Court, correct, Tim? Did we lose Tim?

Did you snooze? Yeah, I'm still with him. Wake up, Tim. Come on, man. Get your day going. Are you laying in bed right now, or are you up and about? I'm losing. No, I'm laying down in the grass.

In the grass? Well, there's Tim. Bye. We lost him. Back to that again. All right, Allie. Let's go ahead now. We've added up all the votes.

Someone's going to win. Someone's going to lose. Let's all have a surprise when we find out Tim loses. Yeah, I know. I mean, I hate to say that it was pretty predictable, but 805 said their ex used to do this. They would also forget to turn it off. I mean, the people who can relate to this, it really has destroyed relationships. Another person said that their grandparents were together for 58 years and had sleep divorce.

They did not sleep in the same bed ever. So, Tim, I'm sorry. You have lost this edition of Petty Claims Court, and you are allowed one snooze, and that is it. Tim. Well, then, I'll just have to make it one great snooze, I suppose. I'm glad that she finds you so funny. Yeah, because we don't. One snooze it is

One snooze it is That's a few snoozes for us right now And if you could change Maybe change up the alarm a little bit That song is obviously She's been hearing this thing now for you It's been dating 15 years Pick a different one every week maybe

Change up the song just to give her something That laughter I'm hearing from her Sounds like she is literally going insane Diabolical I have to make it the annoying android or else I won't wake up. So I can't make it pleasant to wake up to. All right.

Well, maybe you could take her laugh and turn it into some sort of an alarm. Hey, oh yeah, that's a good idea. Okay, great. Another happy couple on Petty Claims Court. Let's find out what's happening in the world. Look at the ADD News. Load up on your Ritalin or Adderall or Focalin

or whatever you're into these days. If you don't have any, just find a kid nearby. Shake them until the pills fall out. Then you can take them, learn about the world, and then we give away some tickets to hop on this bus has sent barbara to go see royal otis it's part of k-rock's road trip usa and we've got a spot for you in about five minutes but first grab your adderall it's time for add news and bad news from two k-rock artists first off jack white is getting divorced again this would be divorce number three

four years ago he married olivia jean on stage during a show in 2022 he cited uh now she's filed for divorce and she cited the reason as inappropriate marital conduct which makes further cohabitation unsafe and improper. It could also be the baby teeth. We don't know. Could be. What do you think that means? Improper, what is it?

Inappropriate marital conduct. Which is different than cheating or that could mean anything. But that's the thing. Wouldn't you say adultery if it was cheating? Inappropriate marital conduct? Feels like that's what you'd say. But isn't that just someone who leaves the toilet seat?

It could be the whole snooze conversation we just had. Aren't most people engaged in some sort of inappropriate marital conduct? I mean, didn't you have some inappropriate marital conduct yesterday? Sure did. And you're in trouble. And that was with a therapist sitting by observing. She also added that she would like him to pay for all of her legal fees for the divorce, that she is dependent on him for bills and needs monthly support,

and she would like to stay on his life insurance policy. Well, then she shouldn't leave him. Dude. So you still, she gets everything if he dies, but she wants to get divorced, but get all the benefits financially. That seems like a BS. This is the part of marriage that I think people have completely lost track of. And I don't know if this is a traditional viewpoint or not, but it seems like in a marriage,

there's parts that will suck and there's parts that are good. And hopefully the good outweighs the suck, but it's probably pretty close to 50-50. And you put up with the suck for the good. You put up with the good, but you know the suck's going to come. And then every once in a while, it's the good type of suck, if you know what I'm saying. So the point is, she wants all of the good now. I want to know that I am financially taken care of. I want to know that he's going to pay for this and that.

But I don't want to deal with any of my spousal responsibilities as the wife. And by the way, I want this whole divorce to be paid for by you to make it convenient for me. And that's where it feels like something's off. If you want to go, if you want out because you think you're going to have a better life without Jack or maybe he did something that you're not cool with, then just you're out. Bye, goodbye, I'm out. I don't know. He seems to have a lot of other hobbies that are desirable. Baseball.

Can't he reupholster a couch in like five minutes? Like, collect records. Yeah. He does a lot of stuff. I mean, maybe he has a lot of clutter. If he wasn't like a cool, rich, successful rock star, I could see why maybe he would be annoying to live with, right? If he was just a guy with those hobbies, but wasn't good at them.

Kind of like Jake's hobbies in many ways. I'm really into vinyl and upholstery. Well, he has to be great to date because he's never there. Just had a house of yourself. I mean, yeah, I think that's part of it, too. Like, can't you ignore a lot? You could probably excuse a lot of bad behavior. I would think so.

The other bad news is that Brandon Flowers of The Killers is going country. As the lead singer of The Killers, he's very successful. He hasn't come out with a solo album in over a decade, and he likes to challenge himself. He says as he's gotten older, he's gone back to some of the music of his father, which is country western, and he's releasing a country album called Thrasher. The first single, Plans, comes out this Friday. I would argue it is easy to make a country song. This is what it sounds like, supposedly.

Two, one, two, three. Now a clear pee test cup is the best container for police-ordered tests for your penis, trainer. I've never heard this version of a clear pee test. You may have, but it's in a cup. Clear pee test cup. I don't need to hear the whole song. That's not Brandon Flowers. You've got to put that guy out of his misery.

This is a Clines Country song, which never took off. But case in point, it's pretty easy to make a country song. Clear P-Test Cup. I fill you up. Let's have a drug test. Let's have a drug test. I hate you, Clear P-Test Cup. All right, that's enough of that.

There's so much focus on health and wellness now. People are drinking less. They're doing peptides. They're eating tons of protein. Teenagers are going to the gym in groups. Now the numbers are in and we are all on a ton of supplements. We are popping pills like crazy, but it's not ecstasy, it's collagen, elderberry, probiotics. The amount of people that are taking supplements has grown exponentially in the last 20 years.

It's now nearly 75% of people taking at least one thing. And the amount of supplements we take a day has grown too. It used to just be one daily multivitamin. That was it, just a one and done multivitamin, maybe some vitamin C during cold season. Now you've got fish oil, beef tallow, ashwagandha, omega fatty acids, and more. Everybody is on between one and three minimum supplements per day. It used to be simple, right? Because there was like a man pill.

If you're a man, this is what you take. And then here's the woman one. Right, the woman pill. And it was very simple and easy. And you understood what you took, and you just, I didn't really know what was in it, but you just go, okay. You just look at the back, and then you see a big long list of things. And you're like, this is long.

This seems like a lot of things I could use. And you just take it. But now everyone is taking them individually, and you feel like you have to curate a special supplement plan for each person, depending on what your needs are. And, I mean, I would imagine any given person is probably on, like, what are you on? You're on at least three or four things a day, I'm sure. No, vitamin D, Claritin. Okay. I don't know that Claritin counts as a supplement.

And didn't you do apple cider vinegar every morning? The bottle ran out. You're putting protein in your coffee every morning? A scoop of protein in the coffee. Right. And then how many things is your wife taking? She's got a lot. Well, she's got a lot of random stuff, but the bottles all feel full.

And I said, what is this? She goes, oh, she'll watch a TikTok video of someone that swears by it, so she'll get it. But before it arrives, she'll watch another video of someone saying it didn't work or that it had a crazy side effect. And then she's got this whole collection of pills. I did get that beef tallow because she was taking it. But you were eating it. That's the difference. I was just licking it off of a cow's bone.

Yeah, you're supposed to rub it on your face or something. I was scooping it. But apparently that's a scam. See, that's the problem. No one knows what's real. Jake, you don't take anything clearly, right? I take a vitamin. You do?

Yeah, just some multivitamin. Omar, what do you take? I don't take anything. It might be a lady one. Omar, you don't take anything? No, I just started lifting weights about three weeks ago, so the only thing I do, I'll take some, you know, whey protein. That's about it.

Atta boy, Omar. That's a real man right there. Is taking nothing? Well, whey. Yeah, just raw doggy, man. What do you need vitamins for? Yeah, he takes whey protein. I don't take vitamins.

Yeah, that's big pharma trying to get at you, sell you some bull crap. You don't need that. So that's the guy with the lowest testosterone on the show. Johnny said Flintstones vitamins are big pharma, dude. Big pharma. And then finally, the chief of police in Ottawa, this is up in Canada, has had to tell the police force to please stop running the plates of hot women and then trying to pick them up.

Change your behavior now or quit. Leave. Members are using our databases as their own way to meet women. Seeing a woman at a coffee shop, coming out of a gym, driving next to them, getting their license plates, and running them on the system. We've seen members messaging vulnerable victims on calls that they've attended in an attempt to develop an intimate relationship. There's a clear need for OPS leadership to acknowledge that this issue remains present and to speak openly about it. That's crazy, by the way. I mean, that is a real abuse of power right there.

What are you talking about? I mean, that's like you wouldn't do the same. I one time almost rear-ended, almost. There's a woman that was so attractive, and I was like, the only way I will get this woman's number is if I rear-end her, and we have to exchange information. And I gave it to him anyway. And it was not Allie. It was not Allie. I do think about backing over Allie every day in the parking lot here, but it's for a different reason.

Just keep going. But I thought I had this really weird thought of like, hey, you never know. And then I said, what are you doing? You're weird. You're going to crash into a woman's car to get her number. That's crazy talk. Yeah, that's sad. Plus, you already are in a relationship.

Right. This was before that, I believe. But Omar, you say that you think this is genius? I think it's genius until they got caught. I think they needed to be a little bit more discreet about it. But I also think that this is probably happening all over the United States as well. I think men have done some absurd things in order to meet women. And they still do.

And no wonder women are terrified of us in general. Women just want to find a guy that is not a complete perv creep weirdo. But if you met a guy, and you're probably the wrong person to ask because you're gay and all, but Vanessa, you met a guy and you thought it was all organic and then he spilled the beans and you're into the relationship. Just so you know, I ran your plates, I buddy on the force and he gave me your information. Would you be like flattered by that? Not at all.

Not at all. Yeah, it would be creepy. I would be like, oh, and then I'd be scared and then I'd be like, I'm pissing out. You wouldn't have said I'm fatter or flatter or whatever you said? No. Okay, all right. But it's already a year and a half into the relationship. Yeah, but now it feels fake.

It wasn't real. It's funny because you want a guy that puts in effort, but that's the wrong type of effort, I guess, right? That's the creepy effort. Yeah. Are you a secret serial killer down the line, my friend? Hey, creeps put in effort. Aren't you the one that stalked a chef at a restaurant? No, I didn't.

Constantly eating there? You went back to the restaurant just to see him, right? No, I just happened to go to a restaurant. Oh, yeah. The erotic place? Yeah. Okay. Hello, chef.

We get into a brand new item in the show. Right now, call 20. Let's get you on that bus to Santa Barbara to see Royal Otis, 800-520-1067. Let's go.