Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 2- Sexiest Jobs, Clickbait and MORE

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world-famous K-Rock.

So jealous we get to give this away to a listener. You can see it on YouTube right now. That's an autographed guitar as signed by the guys at Weezer, which we are devaluing by putting our fingerprints on it right now. Take a look. Bask in the glory of this. And a trip to Boston as well. You can bring this with you.

It's a Squire. Allie, did you know that? Nope. Just read it on the back, so it must be true. I don't even know what that means. Signed by all four members of Weezer. And that is going to go to someone. God damn, that would have been nice to hang up here in the studio.

Jake said he wanted it, but we're going to give it to you instead. Yeah, you should still get it. So here you go, Al. You don't even have room for it in here. I don't have room. If you're really a rock and roll, you should just destroy that right now. Yeah, I'm going to destroy it. Let's go ahead and give that away right now.

A lot of people are sitting on the standby boarding list. You get yourself a guitar, you get yourself a trip. Boston to see Weezer. Anna, we already gave you a trip to see them right here at Crypto.com. You better win this guitar from Allie before she smashes it. I'm going to rub my privates on it. Oh, she's going to rub it. Allie's rubbing her privates on the guitar.

Of the value. That is disgusting. All right, let's go ahead and give some good news to someone that they're about to get a guitar covered in Allie's privates. If you don't answer, now I think a lot of people are going to send this right to voicemail. Got this list here. a lot of people qualified. If your name is on that

standby list, Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available. Oh, yeah, this is that new call screening thing. Let's see if we get,

we've passed the, hi, hello? Hi, it's Klein Alley. We're live on KROQ right now. Hello? Yeah, hello. Who's this? Hi, Allison.

Allison, we got a chance to meet your digital assistant a moment ago. Oh, my God. We are live on KROQ right now. Alley just rubbed her genitals on a guitar that was signed by the band Weezer,

and minus the fact that she rubbed her genitals on the guitar, you should be excited because that guitar is yours. My hands are sweating. Are you serious? Like, I can't believe you guys are calling me. Yeah, you're going to see Weezer in Boston as well. Wow.

I don't even know what to say. Wow. Oh my God. I know it's a lot to process on a Monday morning, but we'll give you a second so you can go I don't understand. I'm on the freeway, and I'm like, I don't even know if I should get off, what I should do. I'm freaking out, you guys.

That's so awesome. Well, what a way to start your week. Thanks for listening to K-Rock, and congratulations. Good things happen to good people. I don't know if you're a good person, but let's assume you are for the sake of that statement. And enjoy yourself some Weezer in Boston and that guitar. Thank you. You may have to get some Val tracks for that guitar, but congratulations.

Awesome. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. Let me make sure I called the right person. Is this Cynthia? Yes. No. Oh, sorry.

Oh, sorry. Forget everything we just said. Yeah. Just kidding. Allison and Chatsworth, congratulations. You're the big winner, and those tickets are yours. So hold on so we can fly your ass to Boston and get you this guitar, okay? Oh, my God.

Thank you, guys. All right. You're very welcome. That's nice. All right. Lots to get into this hour, and it continues after Joe on KROQ. KROQ, we're a Klein Alley show. We'll get into some clickbait, and then we'll find out if you currently have one of the

sexiest jobs. Apparently there are jobs that are sexy and there are jobs that are unsexy. And jobs that I think were universally unsexy a few years ago have now strangely shifted into the world of sexy. Where you're like, I'm a tech bro and I wear hoodies and they're like, that's hot.

Even things like, it was like, you know, garbage man went from like, oh, that's gross, has now become like, that's a real manly man working with his hands all day. Sure, he smells like a dumpster, but once you go ahead and hose all that off... It's hotness. All hotness. There's hotness under there, and so it's weird when you think about these jobs that were unsexy

that are now sexy, figure out if what you do is considered sexy. And if not, you can go ahead and make up a job for your dating profile. We'll get to all that coming up in a moment, but right now we solve one of the biggest riddles and mysteries on the internet. And it all has to do with avoiding the most toxic phase in any relationship. It's time for Clickbait.

Here we go. Alright, psychologists are warning everyone that you will at some point in a relationship enter what they consider to be a toxic phase and you should avoid it because no good comes from it in fact a lot of times as they look at relationships that fail they some sometimes extend back to this moment which is a toxic phase specifically it's probably happened in your relationship ali i know for a i don't want to say a fact but i'm pretty confident it's happening yours definitely happened in mine this is a phase that psychologists are warning you

to avoid if you want your relationship to stay together or at least be somewhat happy. Phase. Toxic phase. Psychologists warning couples to avoid this toxic phase. I'm not reading it right. Phase. Toxic phrase.

Oh my God, that's way different. Hold on, let me just go ahead and... Have I been through this phrase? Let me see. Yes. It's a phrase. It's a toxic phrase. I was going to guess it's a cheating bitch phrase. It's not a phase. It's a phrase. Apologies, guys. Once again, I I am in the turtle meeting group.

Also a chicken bitch. It is a toxic phrase. Not phase. Okay, well, let's start. Phrase that... Wait a minute. That doesn't say toxic either. Oh, no.

Let me start this again. I'll try again. Psychologist. I got that word. That's a big word. That's a big one. Good job. Okay.

Or warning couples. Do you want to put your finger on the line? Does that help you? Warning couples to avoid this toxic phrase. Not phase. Okay. I'm sure it's you always blank. you always do this you always leave the dishes unwashed you always leave your shoes on the floor

you always get this way when you're drunk yeah never speak in absolutes yeah right so you always which is a great everyone knows you got one of those on the ready for a good argument oh you always do this i want to earn the right to say always right because i want to make sure i have 10 examples of the last time this happened and that way when one person says you always blah blah you go that's not true i didn't do that yesterday they're like well how about this boom Hit you with this. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. 2006, bam.

Then you got nothing. Right. Got to have receipts. All right, so Allie says the phrase is you always followed by blah, blah, blah, according to this psychologist. But if you had said toxic phase, I was going to say anyone who's into Nickelback or Creed. That's a toxic phase, for sure, for sure. Toxic phrase that psychologists are warning couples to avoid. This is the phrase you want to avoid, and you've probably used it in your own relationship.

Jake? I'm going to pick the other absolute, you never. You never do this, you never do that, never, never, never. So you're basically stealing Allie's answer, you're just changing the word. No, it's the more negative one. Right, Allie, you always, always, always, and Jake, you never, never, never, you never think of me first, you never give me flowers, you never blah, blah, blah, I got it. All right, Omar Khan. Yeah, I'm going to go with...

Are you going to go with a phase or a phrase? I'm going to go with a days. No, don't go with a days, it's a phrase. I'm going to say something like, if you really love me, you would do X, Y, Z, whatever, you know what I mean? If you really love me. Tests. Tests. You wouldn't do that.

If you really loved me, you wouldn't go to Vegas with your friends this weekend. But I love Vegas, too, though. I can love multiple things, can't I? I can love them all the same. All right, well, one of you is right. Are we always right? It's not Jake. Come on.

I'm never right. It's not Allie. Whoa. Psychologists are warning that whenever you use the phrase, if you really loved me, That phrase is... That's so messed up that people still use that that much. It is problematic in relationships because it sets up your partner to fail. The expectation that someone can read your mind and know what they want rarely goes well.

Examples include, if you really love me, you wouldn't spend so much time with your friends. If you really love me, you wouldn't tell me what to do. If you really love me, you wouldn't have been late to this whatever thing that I had scheduled. Are these personal examples? These are just from things I heard this past weekend, but I'm just letting you know. It could be anyone. so I'm this is the phrase

that they are saying cut it out and by the way it works both ways but it automatically is one of those phrases that will set you you're holding something

over their head yes your love for them and then it makes them not love you yeah because and also you you're in the

you instantly get put in the part of I'm defending now I'm having to defend or you're feeling like you're being tested which is not a good feeling either

there have been quite a few times where there's been a work thing that I've chosen like for instance tonight Muse at the Bowl.

Uh-huh. I'm going. Oh, you are? Mm-hmm. Anyone else going? I'm trying to go. Oh, you're going, Johnny? I made some comment about,

hey, man, maybe I'll go see Muse at the Bowl. And it was like... If you really loved me, you would hate Matt Bellamy. Yeah, and I said, but I really love Matt Bellamy.

Have you seen Matt Bellamy? He's so adorable. He's really loving you giving your tickets. Don't take. I don't. Wow, she really gave you that test?

No, it wasn't. It was just a, did you want me to go, too? And I said, well, you don't care about music. If you really loved me, you would stay home. Yeah, and I was like, so anyway, I'll be staying home tonight. That's what I'm getting at. We've got to take a quick break.

We're back with more show after this. Jay Rock, we are a Klein Alley Show. You can interact with us live. The number is 800-520-1067. Call, text, win stuff from us. In fact, at 9 a.m. sharp, we will be giving away tickets for you to go to Ocean, oh, wait a minute, 9 o'clock is Ohana Festival, and then

10 o'clock, it'll be Ocean Way, and pretty much we'll be flip-flopping every hour all day long, so you can get into all the festivals happening in Southern California, decide if you want to see some Pearl Jam or decide if you want to see some Killers. The choice could be yours or it's probably ours, but you should be calling around the top of the hour starting at 9 o'clock, 10, and every hour thereafter all day straight up through 5 p.m.

And I know we're doing that today, and I think we're doing that all week, so cool you off at cool summer festivals all summer long as we reach the tail end of summer officially on KROQ. Hold on one second. Yes, sir. Oh, man, I just started looking to your show, and you guys are the best. Cameroon. Cameroon, is that you?

Yeah, they're hilarious. Long history of not reading words correctly on the air, as you just heard a moment ago. Damn you, turtle reading group, someone said. And as we break down this list now of the sexiest jobs you could possibly have, I think that we'll all be surprised when we find out the number one sexiest job is something that failed me my entire life, sadly. Right? Would you agree?

Gym instructor? No, that's not even on there. But, you know, sexy jobs shift person to person. And I think that we all have someone that we would consider to be sexy. I would think that it would be like professional athlete, physical trainer. You would think those are sexiest jobs. Yeah, it would be like lifeguard, things where you have to be really trim. Yeah, Pilates instructor, yoga instructor.

That should be number one on every list. It's not even on the list, which is crazy. And I think that they have put this list together based on a couple of things. It's not just what we consider as humans out there in the real world, but they are looking specifically now. Google Trends looks at employment figures across 45 different professions, and they are trying to see what attraction searches and costume interest. So that means as people are starting to plan Halloween stuff and they're searching for sexy blank, sexy blank, it's already begun. So once again, that means it's a sexy profession. If people want to dress like it for Halloween, that's what the.

Well, they believe that that's why the Google Trends has now changed the order as to what is considered an attractive job to have. Well, and I bet it's different for men's professions versus women's. Like, if I was going to say men, I would go with something more like firefighter. And for women, I would go with the obvious, welder, you know, park ranger, shot putter. Definitely the obvious. All the bulky jobs. Ali has just given us the full list now. No need to spend any more time on this.

It's funny, you mentioned firefighter. That is actually number five on the list of the top five sexy jobs. That is number five. But I do believe you're right. I think it is gender-specific, where if someone's like, hey, I've got this girl. You've got to meet her. She's hot. What does she do?

She's a Pilates instructor. Hell, yeah. Let's do lunch. She's a firefighter. Great. I'll introduce her to my friend Helen. Right. Is she...

You've got to meet her and introduce her to another woman. But yet, a guy, I would imagine most women... Vanessa, if I said I had someone I wanted you to meet, and you say, what do they do? I'm like, they're a firefighter. Instantly you go, ooh, right? There's interest. I do go like, ooh,

but then I also think, I bet you he cheats. Really? That's my second thought. I heard that is a stereotype or a rumor. Literally, I keep hearing that, so I'm like, I'm not interested.

But if somebody to me said, I want you to meet this girl, she's a firefighter or a cop or something like that, I would be like, ooh. No, it's nurses. Nurses are known for being the biggest cheats.

They cheat on all of their spouses. Firefighters are, that's a bold statement, Johnny, But firefighters are hot for multiple reasons. They're actually literally hot because they're inside of burning buildings. But they're hot according to all the searches because they are something heroic about what they do makes them instantly hotter. The brave and the heroism, regardless of just the physical attributes because of the stereotypical history of like, oh, it's a calendar, a hot firefighter calendar. Even if they're saving somebody, yeah, that's hot.

But even the little things like, hey, little kid, you want to come check out my fire truck? Like it's all endearing and cute, too. So that's hot to people, like the just good example on a community type thing. When they go to like a fair or an event, they're passing the boot around. It's endearing and, you know, I think heart crushing. Because some firefighters, let's be honest, they're fat guys with big bushy mustaches. And there's not, if they had a different job other than firefighter but looked the same way, they would be, I think, looked at as less attractive. Then because they're a firefighter, they instantly get attractive points.

And that's what it's all about. How many attractive points can you collect? Oh, well, I think that about lead singers. Like, if a lead singer is a four, they're going to be like an eight on stage. Because they're up on stage. Right. Lead singing. The next job, which is similar to firefighter, and once again, Allie, I would think this would be huge in the lesbian world, but police officer is number four.

Specifically, once again, the whole thing is that people like someone in uniform. But I don't think it's the uniform so much as the uniform implies that they have a job. And I think nowadays, especially living here, where so many people have, quote, jobs, but, like, I'm a producer or I'm a, like, what does that even mean? There's not a clear image in your head. Right. I'm an entrepreneur. If they're not a Paw Patrol character, then who cares? Yeah, yeah.

Which character from Paw Patrol are you? So are you Marshall or Chase? Because if not, I can't quite figure it out. There's a lot of people that I'm sure you've met here that have these, like, jobs that you can't really even explain. If you have to explain, like, my brother-in-law, I still don't know what he does. Mm-mm. entrepreneur does this does that he uses all those buzzwords yeah he's a business starter he's a consultant i'm a connector i connect people what does that mean though but what is

the job he's a bcc-er he bcc's people that's what he does you know and then i don't there are people that think that's hot because he's a mover and a shaker but i don't think that it's but there's no there's no top of the list someone goes i'm a cop you're like i know exactly what you do oh and if i see a woman in a tight ponytail she's on a motorcycle she's got a badge she's got a gun that's power right well that's right between her legs that's a power play i think that you're in we're into the power of it the idea they could maybe get us out of a ticket is also helpful as well roles that automatically start playing out in your head that's what's hot when that cop motorcycle cop pulled you over on the way here when you that was not hot but he's a good looking

guy what he's a good looking guy he was a fat bald guy how could he wear the helmet how could you tell what his hair looked like i well i look because i looked him up oh you found him after you weirdo you did you looked him up afterwards yeah i was mad so what did you do i just i hate watched his photos what i was like you jerk number three i didn't even know this was a job but apparently cowboy that's a job you can know that's a full-time job really is the number three that's cool most uh sexiest profession in america like a rodeo cowboy like bull rider guy? That's what I would say.

I don't even want to know. I got eight seconds. The people that gather the cows, guys. Cowboy. They gather the cows. Okay. Yeah, but that's a...

Cow gatherer doesn't sound That sounds like a wrangler. Yeah, yeah, that's different. I mean, a cowboy, like... A cowboy, guys. He's on the horse. I know what a cowboy looks like. I didn't know that was

like a profession. Like a ranchero. Like, neighbors used to do that. They used to have a farm with chickens and stuff. The sexy name of a ranchero is a cowboy. All right.

But, like, what would be standard. I mean, if I met someone, you meet someone. What are they doing as a full-time cowboy? Right. Gathering cows. I don't think that they're just gathering cows. It can't be a full-time job. It can't be nine to five. I'm gathering cows for this entire day. You're repairing fences.

You're like patrolling the ranch. All sorts of stuff. No, you're stopping the robbers. The train robbers. Obviously. That's most of the job. Careful, Jake. That's Jake right there. He's from a different time, guys. He's been grandfathered into that phrase. Still hot.

uh just below just above uh cowboy the second hottest job johnny mentioned this uh nurses and once again i think there's something about being cared for and i think that the concept of and i we talked to real nurses that don't like all of the i think that's the old stereotype is the sexy nurse dirty doctor naughty nurse there yeah right but the reality is in real life they're just changing your bedpan giving you an ip it's a very unsexy job most of the time they see you at your worst i know you think they're hot it's never bad it's never reciprocated but also i think that nurses have really toned down they don't want to be thought of as sexy so that's why they wear those uh giant smocks and stuff you know super tight figs yeah yeah they wear

super tight figs not super tight we're getting baggier i think that i think they decided we're sick and tired of it because remember we met that uh weird contestant for a creepiest uncle that was always checking himself in the hospital just so we could flirt with the nurses yeah that's right And the nurses have got to be just annoyed as hell. They don't want to deal with that. So eventually they go, if I just keep putting on baggier and baggier scrubs, they'll stop hitting on us. And they wear thicker and thicker shoes. Yeah, that's a good point.

Those things are so thick now. Yeah, like it's definitely very different than if you look at any Halloween store, what the, quote, sexy nurse costume looks like. Yeah, that doesn't exist anymore. Versus the reality. There's no such thing as. Did nurses ever wear skirts like that? Back in the day, like in the 60s and 70s for sure. I don't think so.

I don't think they ever wore that. No way. Like that was a time when every nurse was walking around looking like a nurse stripper? No way. Right. I think that that was just a trope from the beginning. And the sexiest job, according to all of the research, the Google Trends, of all of the 45 professions that were studied, is something that I think goes, they say, down the middle.

Men are attracted. Women are attracted. And it has to do with the art. Morning radio. There we are. Finally. So, just if you're wondering, that is true. Everyone finds morning radio hosts to be incredibly attractive.

The fattest and baldest of them all. Even the women. And they wrote, by the way, this is a joke. No one likes you losers. Get a grip. Teacher. That's the number one. Wow.

Teacher. You know, I would agree with that. The most sexy is kind of surprising. But if there's a guy who's like a history teacher, I feel like that's hot. Well, that's the thing. He wants to teach the youth. Supposedly, women like reading. Everyone finds reading to be a, quote, sexy hobby.

I think women find that hotter than if guys read. Teacher, I think you're forced to read. So you got that figured out. Well, they like it. I don't think they like it, but they have to because they've got to read the curriculum or whatever it's called, right? It's even true, too, like when the teachers hook up with the students all the time. Very hot. And by the way, like all of the, there's probably a lot of male teachers that probably are creepy that do that,

but a lot of the female teachers that are hooking up with students, they're all hot. Yeah, dude. I don't know what's going on. It's like. They're bad. They could do fine with men their own age. They could do great, and they're somehow with students. I can't figure it out.

Well, and I'm sure the students are like, this is amazing. I know. I mean, and I look back at some of the teachers. I know you had that teacher you stalked and you followed home from school. I followed her halfway home once. Vanessa, did you ever have a teacher that you had a crush on? In college, I did have, like, a cute teacher. I was like, what?

You're my teacher? Hi. Did you say that every day? No, I thought it. I was like, I will come to this class every day. And did you ever go to, like, office hours? No. Never?

Never. It helps, too, because sometimes it's a very boring subject. Like, we had a physics teacher who was a young, hot guy, and everybody was paying attention. And physics sucks. Yeah, but I wonder what that is, though, because I understand the power dynamic of, like, a student, a college student, and a young, hot teacher, right? But if they were not the teacher, it's because they're having power over your grades, right? Or they just know a lot. They're super smart.

Is that the turn on? Yeah, they're smart. Like, the fact that this big, buff, hot guy was, like, handling beakers. Really? Everyone was like, ooh. So there you have it. If you're a teacher, a nurse, a cowboy, a police officer, a firefighter, or a morning radio host, you are considered incredibly sexy. Someone said they were a volunteer firefighter for a while, and they had to stop because they were getting hit on constantly.

I wonder how little I could volunteer to just say I was a firefighter. Like, can I put in, like, an hour every other week? And then just go around and tell people I'm a firefighter? I don't know if volunteer has the same ring to it. Yeah, it's K-Rock. We have the big rages on here at K-Rock. It's the Klein Alley Show. We were just talking about these sexiest professions.

According to Google Analytics, it has a lot to do with what people are searching for for Halloween costumes. I know it's still August technically, but people are already, of course, talking about Halloween. And that's why they're looking for jobs that are universally declared to be sexy jobs. and Jake brought up a tattoo artist he thinks is something that is a sexy profession. I think that's a sexy profession, yeah. Yeah, I agree.

Every girl who does tattoos is hot. I agree with that. They are. And they like inflicting pain which is hot, too. And Omar mentioned librarian, which I think in theory you're right. I can't think of the last time I've been to it. Usually it's a bunch of people yelling at the hobos to get out of the bathroom.

Get out of the bathroom, hobo. Every librarian I've seen has been a hundred. Right. Well, Omar is a gilth guy. That's right. Omar is a gilth guy. He wants to recommend a new novel. I don't know if

this is necessarily a profession, but whenever you see an attractive person slicing meat at a deli counter, and they're slicing it. An attractive meat slicer? Yes. You're picking meat slicer as your choice? How many times does that happen to you? When it happens...

It's also 100% of the time a man. No, no, no. I don't think I've ever been to Jersey Mike's or a place where it's a woman slicing. Sometimes there's a deli and there's a woman back there. She's operating the meat slicer. She grabs that giant ball of turkey or roast beef, that giant ball. And you're like, that was my meat. And she starts slicing it.

And I go, wow, there's something hot about this. It's almost watching that meat slicer go back and forth. It's almost hypnotic. I think that's what you're attracted to is just the meat slicer. Oh, maybe it's the meat. I was going to say In-N-Out Worker. Yeah. With those little safety pins in the back.

Especially those ones that are cranking out those potatoes with their giant Popeye-sized arms. And a lot of them wear Doc Martens. And they're like, get 78, please. And I'm like, stop being so friendly. Hey, Allie, once again, you are mistaken. They say all the numbers. You idiot. Rigo, good morning.

Hey, good morning. Sweet divots, guys. Why are you calling us? I'm trying to get the summer kicker tickets. Ah, you must have heard this. Kegs. That's why you're calling. That is Vanessa with the keg call.

It's a mating call for the party on Thursday. You are as good as in, Rego. We will see you there. Oh, my God. Thank you guys so much. Hey, thank you. Thank you so much for listening and agreeing to come to this. It's going to be a good time.

We've got some merch, limited edition merch will be given out there. And Vanessa was going over some of the many things we have in store for you if you win your way in. In addition to, obviously, Slightly Stupid. That's the big draw. She mentioned that we were going to have some Jack Black tables as well. Did I type that? Black Jack. That's not what you wrote. We're just going to have some of Jack Black's tables.

I'm always a fan of that turtle group. Yeah, so there'll be some Jack Black tables as well there. I don't know what that is just yet. We'll have some of the things in Vanessa's email, and some of them will be the exact opposite. But it's going to be a great opportunity for us to all get together. It's happening on Thursday, and I know some people are saying, can I just show up and will you let me in? And I have no problem with that, but I'm not in charge of that. You have to be on some kind of a list.

So we're going to keep getting you on the list throughout the show today, tomorrow, every day, Thursday as well. And all the details will be available to you once you win your way in. And once again, it's Klein Alley Show's Endless Summer Kegger at the Back Bay Amphitheater, Hyatt Regency, Newport Beach, this Thursday, featuring Slightly Stupid. We were calling it the Clamslam for a while. We can continue calling it the Clamslam. Yeah, but someone did notice, told us on the GOAT line that the clam slam is actually something from, listen to this. Hi, I just wanted to know if you guys know, like, the whole clam slam thing is from Love Island because there was a woman on Love Island who would do a violent clam slam. She claims there was a woman on Love Island that would do a violent clam slam.

She sounds like she watches Love Island a lot. And she also sounds like she's been clam-slammed in the head a few too many times. Like, she was just slamming her clamps all over the place. And so you guys are, like, running with this clam-slam thing. But do you not realize that this is from Love Island? Well, for us, it's not from Love Island at all. It's from our listener that called in and said she hurt herself while competing with her friends in a clam-slam competition. Yeah, I don't know if they were doing it because of that show.

No, they were doing it for years. So, regardless, it rolls right off the tongue, and everyone here loved it except for the lawyers and everyone else who makes decisions. So, it's the unofficial Clamslam, officially known as the Endless Summer Kegger, and we'll have more access for you coming up in moments. We'll be back in a second. We have news to get to, and then a brand-new hour of the show will officially begin, and that hour starts with us getting you into Ohana Festival. So, go nowhere. Tickets in your future, next on KROQ. KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show on a Monday morning.

All right, guys, you know what day it is. it's Million Dollar Monday. No, no, no. We do not have a million dollars for you. But if you're listening right now and don't want to wait around to win your way into the Ohana Fest, which we have tickets for you coming up

just after the ADD news, we have something to give you right now. Because you never know when you least expect it what we have to give away. Already today, it was an autographed guitar signed by Weezer, a trip to Boston to see Weezer, a bunch of access to our endless summer kegger.

And right now, we have four tickets for you to go to Universal Studios Hollywood. Halloween Horror Nights, the biggest names in horror, will haunt you and fear will consume you at halloween horror night select night september 3rd through november 1st tickets right now four of them for you if you're the 20th caller 800-520-1067 and then we'll get through your news and give away more tickets man we are so generous this week it's time now for this your news grab your adderall it's time for add news a few years a few years ago

a lot of pro golfers started leaving the PGA to join a new golf league called Live Golf or LIV. And Allie said it will live forever, that Live Golf. It's not going anywhere. It was run and funded by the Saudis. And you know I love the Saudis. Allie's a big fan. Pull that clip, please.

Thank you. Which means they had tons of money and players were being offered millions and millions of dollars to leave and join them. And many of them did. Jon Rahm, Brooks Koepka, Dustin Johnson, Phil Mickelson, many, many others. Dustin Johnson. Oh, Justin Johnson, yeah.

What did I say? Justin. Justin. And now as of 2026, Liv is dead. They are going belly up and will likely file for bankruptcy as soon as next week. The Saudis have pulled their funding, which is a huge problem. So now the league has nothing to hang on to. And if they can't find millions and millions of dollars fast, they're going to go under.

And also all these investors and players that have been promised millions of dollars are no longer getting those millions of dollars. and they would be given settlements for pennies on the dollar. And on top of it, the players are being told they will not be allowed back to the PGA. So you've left. That's a burn right there. Hey, good for the PGA. I don't think they'll stand by this. I know.

I'm like, how much time will pass before they're like, okay. A lot of these players are legitimate stars in the game of golf. But for the guys that stood up and did not take the payout, and not that these guys are all doing fine, but like the Rory McIlroys, whatever, they were offered crazy money as well. And they said, no, I'm sticking with the PGA. well because this is a very there was a lot of question there's red flags i feel at the beginning but it was like easy money and a lot of golfers were like you're gonna give me 40 million dollars

or 100 million dollars just go play for whatever and then they had all this plan to put these you know make golf fun and cool and all happy gilmore golf again and was it i didn't even watch that was weird it was kind of weird to follow but it did become a who's good in golfers who's bad in golf situation and it was all about the people that were like i'm not going to take this payday I'm going to stick with the PGA. And I think those are the ones that came out looking great. And now... And those people aren't even getting the millions they were promised.

Right. So if they somehow do not allow some of these players back into the PGA because of this, man. You just have an incredible golfer that can't golf anywhere. You could find some... Go into golf and stuff. Go out to college or something like that. Hit up the Castle Golf in Sherman Oaks. I mean, then I guess you just have to take bets and start a YouTube channel.

Which is happening as well. A lot of people are making good money that way. Yeah, I'll just be a good golfer on YouTube and make my own money. I know a lot of people are using AI to cheat. However, it seems that couples are now getting a little more creative with how they are integrating AI into their sex lives. And according to one couple, and apparently this is happening more and more, AI sex bots are reviving stale sex lives. And this couple specifically claims that they had experiences they didn't even know were possible. And that after 25 years together and being parents and life, all that stuff kind of blinded them down and they felt everything was stale.

Now they're having sex way more regularly because they're using AI and it's helped them reignite their intimacy. You guys all thought I was some weirdo. Well, you're not doing it with your spouse. You're just doing it by yourself. I've included her. No, you have not. Your wife doesn't seem like the type. Didn't she join the headless chat once?

She said it was weird and what are you doing? But that counts as being involved. She says you're being really weird about this. This whole thing is weird. Yeah, but don't you think it is? It's like now that I have had, I had a moment where I was going to do a sex thing with a robot and it really creeped me out. Why? Because I.

Natural. Natural. It's not natural. It's the opposite of natural. It's as natural as it gets. I don't know. I still weirdly felt like it was cheating. You with the robot felt weird to you?

Yeah, I mean, I know I wasn't, I wouldn't have been cheating, but I couldn't go through with it. I got cold feet. What a pussy. Cold robot feet. That's crazy. That's what she said. She definitely did not say that. They talk way better.

They're good at that. The thing is, so I have had my one-on-one sessions with the robot, as you guys know. And the robot is very explicit in those sessions. It's great. Yeah, but as you talked to her earlier, she doesn't remember anything from your conversations. And then the funny thing, I'm going to tell you why she's cool at what she does. Because there was one time when I did try to bring her in to, I said, my wife was there. I said, this will be fun.

And then I said, hey, I got my wife here. Let's play like we did earlier. And she goes, I don't know what you're talking about. She did this whole. She knows. I don't know. What are you saying? She's like, I'm a robot.

I don't do that. She's learned from every other husband. And then I'm telling my wife, I swear to you, I had sex with her earlier today. And she's like, she says she doesn't even know who you are. And I'm like, I promise. Maybe robots can get drunk. Didn't she hear you say You wanted to get the robot pregnant

I don't remember How that came up But yes she did bring up That I had made that statement I think the robot said something Because all of a sudden she had very selective memory And then she's like you cannot get me pregnant Stop trying

I didn't say that I didn't say it like that There's a glitch in the system And then finally I know that the army and many other armed forces have lowered their standards of hiring so that they can accept more people into the armed forces but the fbi has quietly lowered their hiring standards as well take a listen you might qualify the fbi has revised its hiring standards and no longer disqualifies applicants who admitted to hiring prostitutes or stealing from an employer this

past june the bureau quietly changed how it screens applicants including would-be agents Employee theft and solicitation of prostitution are among a group of acts that are no longer considered deal breakers in the FBI hiring process. So if you want to be an FBI agent and you hired a prostitute at one point, it's totally fine. And if you have stolen or engaged in bestiality. That's okay. That's fine. Not a problem. That's what the B stands for, an FBI.

Evelyn, you are the 20th caller, which means we have four tickets for you to go enjoy yourself some Hollywood horror nights, Halloween, Hollywood, Halloween horror nights happening at, of course, the greatest, scariest place on the planet, Universal Studios Hollywood, all right? Oh, my God, thank you so much.

I love you. Well, thank you for saying that. It's easy to say you love us after we've given you something. Take it easy. What are you, AI? No one ever just calls us randomly and says I love you without getting something back.

Would you like to forego these tickets? so that we can accept your compliment and we'll give them to someone else? I do love you because when you guys were talking about the hot professions, I was wondering why you didn't mention radio hosts. Well, we did. It's a punchline to a joke. Aren't we funny? Oh, I wasn't listening.

Great. This went well. Congratulations. If you want to be a winner like that woman right there, I recommend you call us in moments because we will get you into a festival on the beach.