Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- A Dolly Parton tribute and MORE

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, Rock.

We are Klein Alley Show. And let's say good morning to the 20th caller that will be seeing Weezer at least one time and maybe even twice. So, once again, this is one of those things where you're guaranteed something, but you could get something even better. A real, but wait, there's more. We say hi to, from the 805. Oh, that's not by me. Hey, Dawson. Hey, what's up, man?

You are, caller, 20. Sweet. I'm a huge Weezer fan. Well, you're going to see them at least one time now when they take over Crypto.com Arena on October 24th. And if we call you back Monday morning, pack your bags. You're going to go see them again in Boston, Massachusetts. All right? Hell yeah.

Thanks a lot, guys. I love you guys. Very welcome. Hold on. Glad to know our signal works out there. Dawson, let's go ahead and check your honesty. if we're on a boat and the boat is sinking

and you can either save us or Weezer, who do you save? I think it's got to be you because you give me tickets to the show right now. Well, but if Weezer doesn't survive... You're not seeing anything. Then you're just seeing an empty stage. Yeah, I know.

I've got to please who's in front of me right now. Make them happy. I wanted honesty, though. We're looking for honesty. Be honest. You really have to make this decision. It's either you save the four or five of us on this show or you save the band Weezer?

All right, you guys go overboard. I'm saving Weezer. That's right. Thank you for the honesty. Appreciate that. You could also do the, I'll just jump, I can't choose. Well, that would have been nice

for him to say that. Just tie a brick to my foot and jump in myself. I can't think. I don't want to live in a world that doesn't have... It's like choosing between my children. But the correct answer is you save Weezer.

National Treasures Weezer. Allie, we have a couple of things to get to. First of all, someone is very upset with us for a variety of reasons. So let's go ahead and start with this. I've been quiet for too long and I need to speak up about this.

Someone that has been holding in their thoughts for too long and finally they have hit their breaking point and they need us to be aware of something that bothers them, specifically about this show. Someone on the show has an Apple Watch. It keeps deeming every show. It's a super quiet, super subtle thing that only Apple Watchers recognize, but every time I hear it, I think it's my own watch.

Please tell that person to silence it. I have a feeling it's the lesbian of the show. Mine's on silence. It's definitely Allie. She's the only one I know that wears an Apple Watch during the show. It's silent. And she claims it is subtle, but so subtle that she... There's no ringer right there.

She still hears it, and she says it is ruining her day. Meanwhile, there's more people that have said that your noises are ruining their day as well. Yeah, so me and my cousin are driving to Vegas right now. We're listening to a podcast, and all of a sudden, we hear a ding. Someone got a message, and we're over here high as hell checking our phones. And what I do, no one got a message in any of these phones. And we thought there was a whole lot of other phones until we realized it came from your freaking podcast. Why is there a message that's coming in to the podcast?

Sweet, everybody. Those guys were on an adventure. They're very high right now. They couldn't figure it out, man. I wonder how long of their ride to Vegas they spent trying to look for the other phone that was in the car. I don't know why everyone's pointing their finger at me. You're the one who has your phone on ring a lot of the times. And it rings through your computer.

Remember that phase? Yeah, well, I stopped that phase. Remember your random alarms you would set that would also go off during the show? That phase? This person, listen, we've had two calls back to back, both saying that the chimes and the dings that are coming off of your body are ruining their day. I'm telling you, my stuff is on silent. It's always on silent.

Apple Watch has a different sound altogether. It's a different noise it makes. Maybe it's your little Aura gay ring. No, no, that doesn't make any noise. It doesn't make any noise. Fancy ring! In fact, Allie, I didn't even wear it today. Whoa!

Oh, the plot thickens. Because it's out of battery. I lost it. So, uh-huh. Now it's not tracking crap. So apologies for all of the noises that you didn't come here for. Sorry, we'll work on it. Here's a noise you'll probably enjoy.

It's from the band Green Day on KROQ. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show. You need us, we're around for you now, live. But if we're not here, you can use the GOAT line. That number is 844-956-GOAT. Hi, I'm Drunken Stone, Sweet Dibs. Cool. I am so stooped that you guys allowed us to come to this event, but apparently he heard Omar, so, and you guys, so now he is, I have been, demanding anal.

Ah! Sorry about that. So, once again, I don't remember how this came up on the show, but at some point. I don't remember saying that either. We were talking. It sounds like something you say. You said it. No, it does.

Yeah. It sounds like something Omar would say, but also it sounds like something a husband would make up. Totally. So I don't recall this ever happening for people going to the Endless Summer Kegger. I know that was a conversation that happened, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. And that's fine. I've done anal, but that's his new caveat to the trip. Let's go with it.

Yeah, once again, you can blame Omar, you can blame us, but we are not the man. They said it, not me. Yeah, I know you're probably hearing this message sadly too late, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Anyway, love you guys. I'm so excited to go. We cannot, we are so excited. Okay, great. Well, that's endless.

He's more excited. Endless Summer Kegger. He's going to be tapping that keg a little early, but we will get to that. And if you want to join us, we have more of your access coming up this hour. So be ready to win your tickets in to the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. That'll be coming up in moments. Jake hit the streets to get instant reaction to the death of Dolly Parton. And could he find anyone that would say anything bad about Dolly?

She's universally loved. He went out there with a mission. Could he find one person that didn't like Dolly Parton? And I know he talked to a lot of people, so we'll get into this exclusive undercover investigation as to if anyone didn't like Dolly Parton. Is it possible? I don't like country music, but I like Dolly Parton. Well, you just like what she was and what she stood for. I liked all that stuff.

She was one of those, like, proud, like, I'm almost like I'm going to be a blonde bimbo, and I think it's empowering. I don't think it's a bad thing. She owned it. Yeah, exactly. I think she knew who she was from the beginning, and she never covered it up. And I think that's why people respected her from the beginning. And I think that she was somebody who said potentially controversial things, and everyone was like, ah, still love her. Speaking of which, Ali has ranked her most favorite quotes from Dolly ever, so we'll break some of those down as well.

A proper tribute. We haven't done that yet today, but we'll do a proper tribute coming up later in the show and get you into the endless summer kegger after this on KRAFT. There's one thing we know for sure. It's that if a big death is going to happen, it will always happen the second we get off the radio. And that's what happened yesterday. We were off the air, we went to the back office, we started having a chat about today's show, and then we heard, sadly, over the airwaves of K-Rock, broken to us by Sluggo, that Dolly Parton was dead. And, you know, listen, regardless if you don't like country music, like I don't, because I think that's what she was known for, was kind of the pioneer of the face of country music, which to me is a, you know, I don't like music, period, but specifically country, ugh, can't stand it. i like dolly always like dolly parton that found her to be likable and then we decided that everyone

liked dolly parton so we sent jake into the streets to see if he could find anyone to say anything bad about dolly parton and it was a difficult difficult job what's your name uh you're wearing a dolly parton shirt oh yes yeah i am whatever tonight was the night to at least bring the shirt out sure yeah yeah what are your feelings on dolly parton a legend you know She's the, I grew up with her music and her ashes are in the same cemetery as my family's, you know, Tennessee, Tennessee family. So they're having me go out and I can't go home until I can find someone to say something bad about Dolly Parton. That's not really what the assignment was, Jake. I just didn't want to get punched in the face.

Well, we said you're going to get a lot of people to say nice things about Dolly. Let's, you know, any good news journalist wants to get both sides of the story. So can you find anyone to be on the opposite side of that? We're not saying go out and get people to say bad things about Dolly Parton. And don't go home until you get one. We never said that. That's what you said to me. No, who said that to you?

All you guys. Don't go home until you get people to say bad things about Dolly Parton? This man with giant jugs just kept asking me. He said, please say something bad about Dolly Parton. The assignment was, could you find anyone to say anything? Not force them to say something bad. Just the idea. Is there anything bad to say about someone who's universally loved?

Can you do that? I don't have any bad ideas. I don't know. I don't even know what controversy she was involved in. What's the worst you can say about Dolly Parton? See, now I don't like this. This is turning into now saying mean things about a dead person. She had an evil spirit, didn't she?

I'm not into fake boobs. Oh. Sounds something. Like, I'm not. Isn't that terrible? So that says more on me than her. So there you go. You turned it around on him.

That's a his issue. That's on me. I don't like pink boobs. There's something wrong with me. Jake, I went up to another woman who was mourning the loss of Dolly Parton. What's her name? Paige. Paige from where?

Here. That's Paige from here, if you're keeping track. Right? Here? So this is Paige. Don't overthink it. She's going to give us some of her real thoughts about the passing of Dolly Parton, followed by jake immediately forcing her to say mean things about page from where here page what

are your feelings on dolly parton i'm devastated um i love how she god damn it you came up came up to me after i'm drinking tecate um you hear jake's crickets in the background it's hard there's a lot of noise how can you still hear them it's amazing i love how she harnessed the blonde bimbo aesthetic um claimed ownership over it got ahead of everyone on that and she did that before only fans before the rest of us who went out and enjoyed ourselves so she claims before only fans before people were celebrating their sexuality taking control of it that was something that dolly parton did she was one of the first to do that i appreciate that as well is that how you would categorize yourself i would love to categorize myself that way but i i don't think

I'm blonde enough. So she wishes she was a blonde bimbo like Dolly, but she doesn't think she's blonde enough. Well, you think about also how we all feel still, like we have to be beautiful, but not make it look like it's effort, you know, and you have to make it look like it's all natural and that, oh, whoopsie, I'm beautiful. I don't think anyone's accused you of putting the effort into looking good. I'm not saying me, just saying as in general in society.

Okay. It's like, oh, whoopsies, I'm beautiful. And she's like, no, I paid doctors to look like this. Anyway, so Jake, try to ask this woman, Paige, if she can say anything bad about Dolly. So they're not letting me go home until I can find someone that can say something bad about Dolly Parton. When you say they, do you even mention that you're going to radio? Do you say you're a K-Rot? Who is the they that won't let you go home?

You two. You're going to lose your job. Don't come back until you have the story. I mean, we were all at the same meeting. meeting i don't think anyone said that um i mean maybe she catered more to the like male oh maybe that's it i mean it's the one thing i guess she catered more to the male the male m-a-l-e or m-a-i-l the male she loved the usps all right well that's jake trying to find anyone to say anything bad about dolly parton which is not easy no it's not but ali was busy

saying that Dolly Parton, on top of being known for music and her giant rack and everything else, she was actually very funny. Yeah, and she was one of the most quotable people. So I compiled my 10 most favorite quotes, the best Dolly quotes of all time, from 1 to 10. So this is, according to Allie, how do you boil down 80 years on this planet into 10 quotes?

And it's not easy, but Allie went through hundreds to give to you, for those of you that are not aware or just to want a refresher, as we pay a proper respects now. These are the 10 greatest quotes from Dolly Part, according to Allie. Number 10 is one that you may have seen on your feed already, and it costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

That's a good one. Then we go to number 9, who said, people always ask me how long it takes to do my hair. I don't know. I'm never there. Which I liked. Number 8. Her delivery's better, by the way.

Her delivery's way better. I thought we had the audio of her doing these. You think I have audio of every single one? No. Yeah, I said you have the audio ready to go on the quotes. You didn't say the audio. I think I did. No, you did not.

I don't have audio of every single one of these. How about you do it in her accent? Ooh. How about Vanessa does it as Dolly Parton? Tracking down the audio of every single one of these quotes? These are her best quotes, her ten best quotes. You would think they're all over the place. Well, then you effing find them.

Why don't you go find something for once? I didn't want to do this. I've been dealing with, like, hours and hours of audio that I'm cutting through today. Are you kidding me? You said I wanted to pay tributes to Dolly Parton with her best quotes. I said best quotes. I'm not going to, I can't find the audio of every single quote. Oh, I thought, not all of them.

I thought of the ten. Are there any with audio? I don't have them. Jeez. Oh, what a tribute. Then forget it. Have you guys. Apologies to Dolly and her family.

I thought this was going to be a good one. Then what do you have? Allie, you can't go home unless you get quotes. You said, listen, this wasn't my idea. It wasn't, but it wasn't my idea to have all the quotes ready through audio. Was anyone else expecting quotes here from Dolly? With her accent. Apparently that was your expectation, and you told me don't go home until I've got them.

I said do not go home if you don't get the quotes. You guys are jerks. All right, let me hear the next one. No, I'm not going to do it. Now I'm interested. No, I don't care if you're interested. It's over. You're not going to do it.

It's over? No. That was our tribute? Three quotes? Because if you're going to sit there and make fun of it and go, you don't have the audio, then it's not fun. So, screw you. I see a bunch of Dolly audio in here. Yeah, I know.

That I've been going through all day, douche. I thought these were the quotes. I don't have all of the quotes of everything she's ever said. Hold on. Is this one of them? You know how long it even took me to find all the quotes? How about that? And order them properly?

Hey, everyone. My name is Brian Seaver, son of Cassie Parton. And I'm representing the Parton and Owens family today, announcing the passing of my Aunt Dolly, Rebecca Parton-Dean. That's one. We got that on you. quote from Not Her. There's like 40 Dolly quotes here. There's not 40 Dolly quotes. Let's try it in the

accent like Vanessa said. No, I'm not doing it. What? No, if you're going to bitch about it, then forget it. I'm not going to do it. You can't go home until I get the quotes. Why don't we all go find as many of them as I can and we'll do it tomorrow when no one cares. Hey, Luke, you're on KROQ.

Good morning. I don't think you guys realized that Allie mushed Dolly yesterday. She said she would sleep with Dolly. That's not... No, I didn't say that. When did that happen yesterday during the show? No, she was talking about somebody else.

I was talking about somebody else. She was talking about Betty White. Yeah, Betty White. Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, yeah. Don't blame Allie for this. We're blaming her for enough right now. Glad we screened that.

Don't jump on. Don't jump on. All right, well, Dolly... Everyone's doing their jobs today. That was our tribute to you. You're welcome. And thank you for all of your quotes. And there's more where those came from,

and we will share them all after this. Good job, Allie, says A1H. That was a great quote. You guys aren't good at tributes. No S. We found a quote. I don't know if this is one of the top ten, but this is her chatting with, I think this was Barbara Walters. Talking about what she wanted people to remember her by.

And that's always a weird thing to hear after someone's dead. This was at Dolly Parton. How do you think you're going to be remembered, let's say, a hundred years from now? Remembered? Well, I think probably what I'd like people to say about me a hundred years from now. is, boy, she looks great for her age. It's funny. It's very funny.

You know, one of the quotes I was going to read was that when she turned 60, she said, I'm not 60, I'm sexty. She said that? Yeah. It's a great line. See? I don't have audio of it, though.

Well, then it didn't happen. No, it doesn't matter. Do it in her accent. I would love to hear it. No, it's done. I'm not doing it. Allie's refusing to pay respects now to Dolly Parton. Well, because now everyone's just going to think about the fact

that there's no audio for it, so it ruins it. So I'm not going to do it. Well, maybe this audio doesn't exist, these quotes. Some of them, there is no audio of it. So let me hear these ones. It's just things that she said. Let me hear them. Hey, what's up?

There he is. He didn't answer. Our boss is walking by. There's our boss. There he is. He's drinking, by the way. Drink water. Drink water.

He's got a drink in his hand. He doesn't know what I'm saying. He's playing by the rules. No, he can't listen. He didn't answer our call earlier today, but we're not taking our proper hydration breaks. I'm a self-made woman, and I have the doctor bills to prove it. It's a good thing I was born a girl. Otherwise, I'd be a drag queen.

I was the first woman to burn my bra. It took the fire department four days to put it out. That's like the jokes I remember. That was my first introduction to Dolly Parton was his all giant boob jokes. And there was things like that. When I talk to a man, I can always tell what he's thinking by where he's looking. If he's looking at my eyes, he's looking for intelligence. If he's looking at my mouth, he's looking for wisdom.

If he's looking anywhere except my chest, he's looking for another man. I'm comfortable in my own skin no matter how far I've stretched it. And my personal favorite was, if I see something sagging, bagging, or dragging, I get it sucked, tucked, or plucked. That's a beautiful tribute. Do you think she wrote all that herself, or do you think she had writers? God, I feel like all this stuff, she was the first to say it. Because whenever she would do interviews, and I did see a lot of them over the past 24 hours, she was, like, real quick. It seemed like she had a response ready to go.

Well, and you think about interviews, too. All that stuff is so planned now. Right. And all the stuff that we've played and talked about, those were just moments. Did she have that quote about, I pooped my pants and I didn't have underwear? Was that her? That was Vanessa. Oh, that's right.

I pooped my pants and I don't have underwear. We do have audio of that. That's a good thing. There's your audio, folks. You happy? You want to know what's happening in the world together with a look at your ADD news? Allie will deliver that news. Allie, another message waiting for you on the go line.

Hey, Allie, this is Orrin of KJR again. Every time you talk about that guy, he leaves a message for you. He's obsessed with me. What are the odds of all the celebrities that you are hunting for this week? That would be the one that is infatuated with you. I just would like to bury the old hatchet. Oh, he wants to make that. It's never worth having a squabble.

But speaking of hatchet, I heard you were looking for some celebrity hatchet wound. And I was talking to my celebrity wife, Cheryl. She's pretty famous. And so am I. We were thinking we could have a freeway. Nice. So there you go. The offers continue to pour in.

Today, we are going to be hunting for celebrities that potentially you know someone who knows someone who knows someone that's on a C-list, D-list, B-list, or above. And maybe, oh, just maybe, Allie can have that one-night stand and guarantee herself a funner summer. I'd love to book someone today. It'd be great. I know that all the fun of a one-night stand comes from booking three days in advance. But let's go ahead and try to figure that out. Right now, though, we have your news. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. Obviously, people are very sad to know that we are waking up in a world where there's no more Dolly Parton living on this earth. Flags are at half staff. The Empire State Building was pink last night and glittery. On the way in today, the Hollywood Bowl had a We Will Always Love You Dolly written on their marquee. Sweet knockers. Yeah, she did have some sweet knockers, and she loved them. Flowers were being left outside of Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee on her Walk of Fame star, too,

which will be interesting to smell a mix of old flowers and old pee. And, of course, many people have tributized her. Sabrina Carpenter, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Elton John, Jack White, Celine Dion, Oprah, and many, many others have posted tributes about Dolly. And this person on the GOAT line. I'm not no country fan, but on my bucket list was to murder both those things. Well, I got to scratch that off. Rest in peace, Dolly.

nice tribute better that's exactly what elton john said that's a beautiful that was that was elton john actually beautiful tribute elton thank you sir elton john would you like to say a few words about her boobs well listen i didn't i'm not a country fan either and i know that she went beyond the genre but yeah 100 dolly parton universally loved and respected very very few people on the planet that are just truly universally loved i never liked dolly you're the only one no i'm just kidding i but i knew about neutral though on like i do you don't like music i didn't know about her as a music uh as a musician as a music i knew let me start this tribute again i'm gonna go great i'm gonna go with this guy's tribute i'm not no country fan

well i gotta scratch that off rest in peace dolly growing up dolly parton was always a punch line about a joke about giant breasts that was always i didn't even know who the woman was i just remember she was the one delivering the right i just remember the jokes about it and That was always the, it's probably why, to be honest, and this is a real tribute, it's probably why I love boobs today. I mean, that was probably the first person who I knew boobs before person, you know? Yeah, and I think that she knew that, and she celebrated all parts of herself. You know, she had the most top hits of any female artist, and she came from nothing. She was one of 12 kids growing up in a two-bedroom cabin in Tennessee, and there's a lot of people to buy houses for when you get rich, when you have 12 people in your family.

But when she was born, her family paid the doctor with a sack of cornmeal. Oh, man. But right away, she had the right idea about life because her role model. It's the same insurance policy we have here at K-Rock. We only can go to doctors and accept grains or cornmeal. It's hard to find someone that will see us for cornmeal these days. But this is what the company went with. But growing up, this was her role model.

This was the town tramp in her town. And this is who she wanted to grow up to be like. The woman that I was most impressed with when I was a little girl was the town tramp, but I didn't know what that meant. This woman had the yellow peroxide hair. She had the red nails, the red lipstick, the beautiful eyes, the high heels, short skirt, and I thought she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. And whoever I was with said, oh, she ain't nothing but trash. And I'd make the joke, and I would say, well, that's what I'm going to be when I grow up. I'm going to be trash.

This is why I did like Dolly after the fact, and it wasn't, by the way, musically, because I'm not into country. I'm not really into music at all, so don't listen to me for that. But I did find that she really seemed like she gave zero Fs about what people thought about her, but did give a lot of Fs about trying to make people happy. And being inclusive. Many groups loved her because she loved many groups of people. Yeah, that part I didn't like so much. But the other stuff I was a big fan of, and the reality is that people say that,

you know, you talk about this whole American dream is dead now, and it's impossible to come from nothing and make something of yourself, And that she, in some ways, if you look back at all the people that have, quote, hit the American dream, maybe not a better example on the planet than Dolly. Proving that if you just get a set of giant rack, a giant rack, you can accomplish anything. If they got a guitar, they got a guitar in the house when she was seven. That's really what did it. But then the jugs came after. Yeah, the jugs.

That's not well before the jugs. Jake, by the way, nice tribute to Dolly today, Jake. I see what you're wearing. It's beautiful. Did you wear a bra today? Jake's just showing his moves out big time today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful, beautiful tribute.

She'd be happy. Someone who took a page out of Omar's book. We learned recently in the Box of Shame that Omar left his injured child alone at a race so that he could stay on pace for his... It was just a 5K, right, Omar? Only a 5K. So somebody else did the same thing, only they did it on Mount Fuji, and they left their child for a very long time.

In Japan, a 7-year-old boy was found abandoned on Mount Fuji. Police say the kid's father left him alone for eight hours so he could continue climbing with his older son. Respect it. Omar loves the move. Totally respect that. Game knows game. Why are you on Mount Fuji with a seven-year-old, first of all?

You know that that kid can't pull his weight. I'm shutting this down, kid. Here's a snack. We'll see you in a bit. They probably showed the kid a picture on the iPad and said, does this look fun? The kid's awesome. Yeah, that looks fun.

I'm just on the bottom with my dad. The reality of it is once you get there, my legs hurt, growing pains, whatever else they say. And that's right. What are you going to go back? You're all the way in Mount Fuji. Omar said, leave. We could sit right here.

If you've ever been hiking with a kid like two minutes in, it's the worst thing ever. Well, workers spotted the boy sitting on a bench in the rain. He told them he got tired, so his dad gave him a drink and a snack and told him to wait. Listen. A drink and a snack? I know.

That's luxury, man. Omar didn't give that for his kids. That's true. I just left them in the dust. The kid was dehydrated almost. I'm going to take this water. She was in pain. She was like keeled over.

Need medical attention or? She's fine. Okay. And then finally we say goodbye, not just to Dolly Parton, but likely to Mimi's Cafe. Mimi's Cafe has not been doing well for quite a while now, but they are closing 106 locations. This is a, you know, a local chain that started almost 50 years ago, right by Disneyland was the first location that opened up. And it was great for people who wanted to feel like they were going to a fancy French

restaurant, but really they just wanted a giant BLT for $12.95. And now with these closures, they're down to just 39 locations across 10 states, which is a shadow of its former empire. My grandma loved Mimi's Cafe. Seems to be sadly the case with lots and lots of our favorites. And that's why you've got to support these things now before they're gone. Got to get me to a Mimi's. Got to get in there immediately. Next thing you know, it's just gone.

Poof. Just a memory. And then you're sitting there telling someone, oh, you know who had a great BLT was Mimi's. And they go, shut up, old man. No one cares about your story. I mean, that was everybody in Mimi's anyway. It's an old man who loves BLTs. We're eating Chipotle and drinking boba now.

Get with the times. We get into a brand new hour of the show in moments.