Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- Ally Gets Ripped Off, The Funniest Draft and MORE

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock. Just keep giving and giving and giving. Looking for a call at 20 right now so we can get you some three-day passes to Ohana Fest.

Pearl Jam, Bad Religion, Philly Idol, and so many more. Doheny State Beach, 25th through the 27th. Win your tickets right now. And every hour today, all day long, we'll be alternating between what is happening at the Ohana Fest and what's happening at Ocean Way. We'll have those tickets coming up for you next hour where you'll be seeing the Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more. So a lot of shows, cooling off, getting them ocean breezes. And then, of course, we still have our show happening on the beach as well, which is the Endless Summer Kegger happening on Thursday

where you'll be seeing Slightly Stupid. It's the trifecta. A lot of shows. I like how we're trying to crowbar our little thing into these bigger ones. But everyone's talking about these three big shows happening. I know, and you can't choose. It's like picking between your kids. So, we will tell you when you call, what you'll be going to see, and in this particular case, if you are the 20th caller, you will be going to Ohana Fest, so hopefully you're a fan of that.

This hour on the show, everyone's got their fantasy football drafts going on, but we will be drafting the Fantasy Funny Draft, and we will determine once and for all who is the funniest person on the planet. Famous or not, right? Famous or not. Famous or not. What is the funniest movie ever? What is the most inappropriate thing that is still funny? We know it's not okay, but it's still somehow funny. Like whenever Ali says, you know, terribly offensive racist things.

Hilarious. Racism would be a good pick. Oopsies, it's racist. That's right. You know it, girl. And it's hilarious. And my favorite category in the draft for the fantasy funny draft will be scenario you encounter in the real world. Oh, like somebody walking into a glass door?

Oh, my God. That is the funniest. It always hits. It hits on every level. A child doing it is funny. An adult doing it is maybe even funnier. I saw it recently, actually. My friend's husband, who's a very overly serious guy, walked into our sliding glass door, and he was so mad.

The noise it makes is hilarious. And he wore glasses, too, so he's like adjusting his glasses, too. It was so great. Yeah, I love it. I love it. It's so great. So we'll get into that coming up later this hour on the show. So right now, though, we go ahead and say congratulations and good morning to the 20th caller, which puts us on Jacqueline.

Good morning. Good morning. You made it through the gauntlet of people trying to get in, and you are as good as on your way to Ohana Fest. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I'm excited. You are a winner. Hold on one second.

Your phone sounds like it's about to crap out. So hang tight so we can get your information before that happens officially. and if you want to win your way in every hour all day long, we'll be ping-ponging back and forth between these two big festivals happening in Southern California. All right, Allie, in a moment.

Allie feels like she got duped, but the reality is she's an idiot. And I know this. As someone who's been duped a lot because I'm an idiot, you got duped, but it's your fault. We'll get into that after Papa Roach on KROQ. Getting duped sucks

when you feel like you've been bamboozled or scammed. It's not a good feeling, especially when you fell for it, when you had the opportunity to not. You even had that little voice inside your head that was like, this is probably a scam. It's too good to be true. But you're like, you know what? I'm going to go ahead and chance it. And then you get screwed. You go, God, that's on me.

And usually that's you. Usually it's me. It's nice to know that every once in a while it shifts. It's much funnier to laugh at the person who did it as opposed to be the person who did it. Well, and for me, it was something that I really did pull a Klein because I was at Costco and I was doing a big shop. A good shop or a big shop? A big shop. Not a good shop.

Well, it was, no, it wasn't a good shop. Right. Big shops are rarely good shops because big shops are like got to load up on all the things that you need. Yeah, it was just snacks and it was like replenishing all the things that had dwindled. The supply has dwindled in my home. Not a good shop. No. Sometimes I do two carts side by side.

I know you guys make fun of me as the two basket guy, but I'll do one cart that's all of the need stuff. that I don't want to be judged by because it's like the boring stuff but then one cart that's all the impulse stuff. So you can, how do you carry, you just push them simultaneously?

Yeah. I'll usually stand between the two carts and I'll do that whole thing. Have you ever done the slat? I like the slats. I've never used those. I'm not a slat guy.

I do like the, I respect the slat people but those people are clearly like running their own bodegas. This is one of the, yeah, this is one of those shops

where it wasn't like, oh, do I need anything else? It was like, okay, the cart's full. like I'm just I need to be done you know it wasn't like you finished everything you needed yeah like I was like I just have bought too much there's I shouldn't buy anything else even if I

still need things I just need to leave at this point I had it was that full I sometimes watch people go in there that are really bad at the cart tetris at Costco they're probably terrible at loading their cars too and they'll like get a cart and the first thing they do is throw one of those giant bricks of paper towels I go what are you what are you a rookie amateur putting in the main cart things gonna be full right now yeah i know no i rearrange and i also make sure the barcodes are face up you know so the checkout process is faster but as i was going to the checkout we i and i try never to do this because i was with my kid and we turned accidentally down the toy aisle and he saw this really cool spider-man thing and it looked like it was

a Spider-Man Lego set. And it was really cool. It was the only one left of Spider-Man. They had all these different, you know, characters from different shows and movies and things. This one was the only Spider-Man left. And he said, please can we get it? I said, you know what? I'm single

parenting this weekend. Legos are a good thing to pass the time with. Let's go ahead and get it. El Cheapo, it's funny because I feel like you're the type of person who goes in with a list. If it's not on the list, it's not getting in the cart. Yeah, and I usually am. And even if the kid looks at you with his little kid eyes and goes please mommy some more and there was some other mario thing that was 60 bucks i was like no how much is spider-man spider-man was 30 29.99 which i thought was a

really good deal for a lego set right then i get home and he can't wait to open it and he opens it all by himself you know i'm unsupervised he's using scissors he's pretty good at it and he opens it up and he starts taking out these cardboard slats and there is not a lego in sight Not a Lego to be seen, even though the box, as I look a little more closely, doesn't specifically say Lego on it. It doesn't specifically say Lego because it's not Legos. I know, but the way it looked, Klein, they do this on purpose. No, they don't. Yes, they do, because it looked like a Lego.

Those things have a certain font. They have a certain look. It looked Lego-y. Legos are probably the most obvious thing to be able to tell what they are because they write Lego in big yellow letters. I'm telling you, Klein, this is like a cake, ice cream cake. situation not don't how dare you compare it to my situation which is a real problem look like a lego set a lego box no it looks like a person looks like you yeah but it says it's 4d which made me think of some different kind of new legos that was like different pieces or whatever i don't know

what the price is now you know it says on the box spider-man 3d puzzle which i think is just It's code for Legos. You bought a puzzle. That's the worst. I bought not only a puzzle, a cardboard 3D puzzle with hundreds and hundreds of pieces. It was 400 pieces of cardboard that I had to pick out, pop out, fold, fit together. Do you feel like you got upset because you spent $40 on cardboard as opposed to Legos where even though it's plastic, you feel like you're getting a little something?

Yeah, there's some quality to it, and it's more long-lasting. You can take it out. You can't build this more than once. Once it's built, it's done. You can't take it apart. As you know, I have fallen for many Costco impulse buys. I bought the axe throwing kit there one time. I bought a bunch of stuff.

That involved putting it together, so I never ended up putting that together. But this is so clearly not Lego. Look, the box of an actual Lego Spider-Man, I'm looking at, they look identical. Let me tell you something. They look identical. He's in the same position. He's making the same exact little move where he's like webbing one hand. Put them side by side.

You're out of your effing mind. I'm telling you, these look exactly the same, and they do it on purpose. They know that people like me are going to buy this accidentally. No one's buying this stupid thing on purpose. This whole cardboard puzzle company decided let's confuse idiots at Costco by creating a similar-looking box. Yes, and it has the Marvel logo on it, which makes me think, well, Marvel would never endorse cardboard puzzles. They'll sell Spider-Man's rights to Spider-Man to everything. And then it says 313 pieces, just like in the same exact font as all of the Lego sets have.

it's the same exact formatting and they do it on purpose because no one wants to really buy these cardboard things I spent three and a half hours making the Spider-Man yesterday. So why don't you head back to Costco get in that line of losers that are returning stuff and find out if they're getting a lot of people that are

returning the I don't want to take your route. No no why don't you go wait in the line. Because you spent all week going to Ralph's talking to the ice cream cake people and. We found this is the Spider-Man that was in the kit that Allie bought Go ahead, sir. Hey, kid, it's me, Spider-Man.

This is like what it was. I hear you are sick. Get better. I got to go fly somewhere. Yeah. Oh, my God. Allie bought cardboard in a cardboard box. And this thing was so difficult.

The other thing is that you can do Legos with my kids. Like, my kid's four, but he knows how to put Legos together. It's something we can do together. This was something that was clearly a me project. But he had already opened it, and he wanted it to be built, so I had to do it all by myself. I mean, I'd love to back you up here and say it. And you can't even play with it. All it can do is sit there.

If you tip it, if you touch it, it knocks over and falls down. Allie, I would like you to get a bunch of three to four-year-olds together and show them the box and just say to them, do you think this is Lego? He thought it was Legos. We both did. Well, that stupidity gene runs in the family. That's not from the sperm donor. That's from your side. I'm telling you, the box looks exactly like a Lego set box.

Can't believe Allie, the lesbian, doesn't know box. That's a good point, 818. You're right. Allie should be more of a... 805's with me. I'm with you on the Lego thing. Side by side, Ali's clam, she got bamboozled, got scammed, and a lookalike is trying to fool people into thinking they're getting Legos.

Someone else pointed out if that was Legos, that would be a minimum $65, $70 set. Yes, and I understand every other Lego set. There were even small botanical ones that were more money than the Spider-Man one, but I figured it's Costco. You never know. Sometimes there's randomly things that are way cheaper than they are everywhere else. This actual Lego set, the Spider-Man one on Amazon, is $99. Who is the funniest person on the planet?

They're probably not working on this radio show, but we will determine once and for all who is the funniest as we officially get into our Fantasy Funny Draft after this on KROQ. Hopefully you've been paying attention to today's show because there will be a Clannally Show quiz happening that will score you access to the endless summer kegger, or if you'd prefer, we get you to Ocean Way Festival with the Killers. That is the next manual here on KROQ, and we have that coming up.

But right now we're going to talk about funny, something our show does not do well according to vanessa we don't know funny and that's why we're going to draft funny on the show right now because a lot of fantasy football drafts are happening perhaps yours is going on maybe one of these people that says i can't keep track of my leagues i'm in 11 leagues i've got drafts upon here people talk about this as if they're being drafted off to war they're like it's gonna be a rough week for me i got nine drafts i know but then when you win how do you not talk about it but here we are talking about something that i think is significantly important, and that is who is the funniest person on the planet, best

movie ever, funniest movie at least, funniest scenario that you would encounter in real life, and the funniest thing that is inappropriate, but still funny, if done well. Something that would not be appropriate for the workplace, or usually around a family event, probably get you canceled. There's still something very funny about it. So, first pick in the round number one, which is the funniest real life scenario round, It goes to Jake the Nerd, which I'm not happy about, but I'm not concerned he's going to take anything that's actually funny.

So Jake the Nerd has the first number one overall pick in the funny draft. Jake, what is the funniest real-world scenario? My funniest thing in the world that I see is people getting scared, especially grown men. If you get a video of some kind of scare prank, and it's a grown guy getting freaked out, I'd die laughing all the time. grown man shrieking like sees a bug and gets scared

or just like a scared prank or some kind of ghost prank or whatever and it's a grown man especially like a big guy gets scared and starts screaming it's hilarious. It has to be a big guy? I mean it's funnier. It could be anyone but it's funnier if it's like a big guy. You have always liked people getting scared. Yeah it's so funny. I remember when you first started working here and you would do

that big woo thing in the morning and it would scare everybody. No! It was definitely not. And then you would laugh that everyone was scared and I hated it. It was so funny. That was the worst. Alright, so Jake picks Grown Men Being Scared. That's our scared people game. That's the first overall pick.

The second pick in this round is Allison Johnson. Alright. Allie. So, real life scenario, there are so many that I enjoy, but I will have to go with Accidentally Naked. Any kind of nip slip,

you trip over something, your pants fall down, guy catches a foul ball and his junk comes out. Anything where that happens all the time. It's never happened. If it did happen, it would be hilarious. Anytime

that there's accidental nudity and somebody is naked in public, even in a concert, when a nip slip happens with a costume. You think that's funny? I think you're confused. You find that to be funny? When people accidentally are naked in public, it's hilarious. I mean, guy naked

is kind of funny. Women naked is hot. It's serious. It's a serious problem. I mean, I think that when anybody is naked accidentally... In your scenario, a towel falls off. Someone's trying to change the beach discreetly and all of a sudden their towel falls off

and then they try to cover their butt with one hand and their junk with the other. That's funny there. Yeah, exactly. Or a guy walking through Walmart doesn't really... Nip slip at a concert is not funny. I think you're confusing me. No, I think every time someone's naked accidentally it's hilarious regardless. I mean, it's funnier like in a Walmart.

accidentally naked. Well, Walmart nudity is always funny. Always funny, whether it's intentional or not. Omar, you're next up. This is the draft. It's the fantasy funny draft on K-Rock, and now we're drafting real-life scenarios. Omar with the third overall pick.

There's video evidence of this, and this is one of the funniest things, and it's on our Instagram from time to time. I go back, and I have to watch the video, and that is... Falling. Falling, yep. And I had two of them to choose from, but I'm going to go with falling off a bike. while trying to record yourself

because that one is hilarious. It's really specific. It's so funny. I think you need to go that specific on it. Do you think that my falling off the bike was funnier than Klein's fall in the hall? Oh, 100% because of the whole situation and then you falling

and then you just get distracted by some dude and the audience. He was crossing the street. It was loud. Sally falling off the bike. I agree. Falling is so funny And there are so many different ways for a fall to happen.

I like when they just mop a floor. They put those signs up, but someone still slips and falls. And then someone else yells, you're safe. Like they slid into third base. That's always funny. God, one of the funniest things that ever happened in my early in my relationship was Katie fell down the stairs. It was so, all of them, all of them ricocheted back and forth. Yep.

And then when she hit the bottom, it was just flat silence. And then she went. And then she didn't remember it because we were wasted. to the next day, she was like, my whole body hurts. The falling is funny because here's what happened.

You have to wait a second to figure out if it's going to be a real problem. Like, did this person break their neck or back? Yeah, you have to go to the ER, right? And once they stand up,

then it's almost like you have to hold in how funny it truly is. And then you get to really... Sometimes it's so funny, though, you don't even have time to make that decision. Yeah, I start laughing

before they hit the ground. Yeah, sometimes they just can't. That's close to what I drafted, too, man. Well, we have to pick a different pick, then. Yeah, pick falling. It's close, though.

It's close. It's not identical. Well, you're not even up yet, Johnny, so hold on. Omar with a great pick. I can't believe falling slipped a third. I'm on fourth up, by the way, for a change. I can't believe no one took this. I was so expecting this to go already.

A fart in a quiet setting. Oh, yeah, farts. Elevator fart or a funeral fart. I figured a guy would take farts at some point. A fart in the office when we're having a meeting. Right. Guys love farts. They think it's so funny all the time.

It's not always funny. It's funny in a quiet setting. Or when a person clearly thought it was going to be a silent one and it was not. And then they have that look of embarrassment. That is... In recent memory, when you tried to fart by changing your weight. And I fell out of my chair. When you were in the chair.

That was a combo. That was a combo of two of the funniest things right there. It was a fall and a fart. A combo fart. That was a fartle. I think I invented the fartle. And I'm proud of it. That's now taken.

So, that was me trying to shift my weight in a stupid, flimsy-ass folding chair to mask the sound, only to then collapse the entire chair. Yeah. And let me tell you, people had a good laugh at that. And I'm sure it was nice to see in real time. And that's something that, when it's so funny, but it doesn't translate if you explain it to somebody. So, that is off the board now. Falling is off the board. Fart in a quiet place, off the board.

uh grown men getting scared was the number one pick by jake and ally has taken at the number two spot accidentally naked is always funny uh vanessa you're next up in this draft of the funny fantasy funny draft what do you take a dog dragging its owner because it's too big is it once again this only happens to you i could imagine i've seen it a dog and 101 dalmatians Like the dog is just Pulling, pulling And the owner is dragging itself And they fall

There is a funniness to an owner With no control over a giant dog I agree, there is something funny about that I thought you were going to say A dog dragging its ass across the carpet Which is also super funny That would be a great pick Dog dragging its ass across the carpet

Especially when a whole family is there It's never not funny Everyone loves it And we know what they're doing They're itching their butt But it is just the best And everyone There are people that want to pretend it's not happening

and other people that can't pretend it's not happening. It's a real divide. So the number that's Vanessa's pick is dog dragging owner. Johnny, you have the final pick in this round of the Fantasy Funny Draft. Here we go. I love seeing little kids getting hurt. Like, I love seeing them when they're running in a store and all of a sudden they just trip and fall and splat.

And everybody's just around them like, ooh. Yeah, kid injuries. Little kids getting hurt. That's okay. I will accept that, Johnny. Congratulations. Little kids getting hurt is the last pick in the round number one. As we move to round number two, Johnny, you're up for the first pick.

That's it? I don't even get to elaborate what else makes it funny? I think we get it. You ever see them climbing stuff, too, and you're like, oh, that kid shouldn't be climbing that, and then they fall over and they hurt themselves? I think it's funny, and then I think when you have your own kids, then all of a sudden you develop a weird heart where you're like, oh, that sucks. But then, you know, usually kids are pretty Teflon.

They'll bounce back. Their bones are all bendy and whatnot. So then it goes to be funny again. Yeah. My kid has recently discovered our yoga ball, and he's had a lot of injuries with that, which is actually pretty funny. Johnny, you're the first pick in the second round of the Fantasy Funny Draft, and that is the funniest movie of all time.

Hands down, it's Nacho Libre. It is the best. It has the most quotable lines. Like, you could say it to anybody, and they know it, and they love it, and it's an instant crack up. It's the best movie ever. Johnny goes Nacho Libre as the first pick. I don't think anyone else...

No, I don't care for that movie. I remember watching it, and I don't know. I also don't really find... It's Jack Black, right? Yeah, I don't really find him funny. It's the best. We go to Vanessa. Funniest movie ever, Vanessa.

I really have two options. I really want to say my second one, but you guys are going to make fun of me, so I'm going to go with the first one. No, go with the second one. Is this a Halloween, a Hallabaloo movie you were into? It's Monsters, Inc. Oh, my God, Vanessa. And Boo is being crushed in the garbage can, and the monster thinks,

Sally thinks that Boo's getting crushed, and he's making that face like, I laugh, my stomach hurts. Did you hear what we said? Your stomach hurts, you're laughing so much. Vanessa, we said the funniest movie of all time in the history of movies. Okay, that was my true option, but I'll just go with Bridesmaids. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one.

I don't want to talk you out of this. If you think that Monsters, Inc. is funnier than Bridesmaids. It's so funny. I wouldn't even say the people who were in or made Monsters, Inc. would agree with you. No. That movie sucks. That's my favorite. Okay.

Do you like that ride at Disneyland? I haven't been on the ride. Nothing to see there. It's so funny. It's the funniest ride. So funny it still exists. I need you guys to watch the movie again. You'll laugh.

I highly doubt it. I've seen it plenty of times. All right, Vanessa's taking Monsters, Inc. A Bridesmaid would have been an acceptable pick, I think. Yeah, that's a good one. Too late. It's written down in ink. That puts me next.

Man, this is so hard. I was torn because if I was thinking about the funniest person of all time, they're not in the funny. And I was back and forth between two movies. But I think the funniest movie of all time for multiple reasons is Borat. That's interesting because that's not a movie that I have ever seen again. But I remember when I saw it in the movie theaters, I said, this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. And I think for a few reasons, I put it there. And I do think if I were to watch, I have watched it a few times, but I think if I were to watch it again now, I would still laugh.

That's a huge, to be able to laugh at the same thing that you know is coming over and over again. And because of what it stood for. Like, it was him in these real, quote, real life scenarios. So there were some stakes to it. And I'll tell you right now, I was torn because I was really back and forth between Borat and Naked Gun. Naked Gun, I think I'm going to say for favorite funniest person ever was Leslie Nielsen. But I also think you could go with Sacha Baron Cohen, funniest person ever. So anyway, in my category of movie, that's it.

I go Borat. Borat is funniest movie, which means we're now up to... Omar? DJ Omar Khan, funniest movie ever. Well, I mean, this is a total classic in my opinion. And one of the best people, you know, that write comedy and direct movies is Mel Brooks. And I'm going to go with Spaceballs. I just love Spaceballs.

That was such a good movie. It's just the whole world that he built. And it's just like scene after scene. The Schwartz and everything. I mean, it's just a classic. I love Spaceballs. Not to interrupt you guys, but text line is saying, Vanessa, you should check out The Penguins of Madagascar. That would be your new funniest movie ever if you watch it.

And I bet you it is funny. Allie, we go to, you're up, number two. this is the round of funniest movie ever in the Fantasy Funny Draft. I was having the same dilemma as Omar because I wanted to choose a movie from the same group. Like, you chose a Mel Brooks movie

because you find those movies to be incredibly funny, and I agree. So I'm going to do a Christopher Guest film because that's my favorite. And Best in Show is like my personal favorite, but I'm going to go with the overall This is Spinal Tap. This is Spinal Tap.

Ali says funniest movie ever. Just because of what it stands for, it's quotable, And all of those movies, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, all of them amazing. Jake? Yeah. You're up. Well, Borat was at the top of my list.

But I'm just going for straight, as much as I laughed during a movie. And it's either Borat, and since that's taken, Jackass. Wow. Original. Really? Just one of the Jackass. I forget which one, but I've laughed my balls off. It's just such a one-trick pony.

Well, there's a couple of different tricks there. There's a couple trick ponies. The new one. The new one was not as good. Too much dongs for me. A lot of dongs. Not too many for Jake. We come back with another round of the Fantasy Funny Draft,

and we'll figure out who's the funniest person on the planet next. We are a radio show that, according to our own producer, doesn't know funny. But we are still doing the Funny Fantasy Draft, and we are entering now the final rounds, but we're going to have to combine them into one. So next up will be the funniest person on the planet mixed with the funniest inappropriate thing. We know it's inappropriate, but still can be very funny.

First up in this final round is Jake the Nerd, who currently has on his draft card in the Fantasy Funny Draft, he believes that the funniest thing ever is watching a grown man get scared and scream, and he believes that the funniest movie ever, according to Jake the Nerd, that is, what did you say, Jake? Well, Jackass, because of where I was taken. Jackass. Yeah, 562 said we've had horrible comedy clips.

Well, and people are saying, where's Step Brothers? Where's Dumb and Dumber? where it's super bad. Those are great comedies, but not the funniest movie. Right, and they're all probably on our list. I bet you if we all put our 10 list together, a lot of these would be very similar, and we would agree. We're trying to go funniest, funniest.

Something about Mary. It was tough. That was on my list, too, yeah. All right, Jake, this is it. Who is, what is the funniest inappropriate thing and the funniest person on the planet? Funniest person is between two people. It's either Robin Williams or One-Armed Gary.

Oh, man. That is a real Sophie's Choice right there. Yeah, I'm not sure. When One-Armed Gary came in here with that makeshift, whatever the hell that absurd thing was, the S.M.'s arm, and he gave Allie the shot in the butt. I'll tell you, I laughed harder during that. You're going to go with One-Armed Gary? I'm going to take Robin Williams.

Damn it. That was my pick. You're going with One-Armed versus Harry Arms. And you went with Harry Arms. Robin Williams. Funniest person on the planet. And what is the funniest inappropriate thing? Oh, when old people swear.

When an old guy or old woman swears, it's hilarious because you know they mean that. Yeah, that's a good pick right there. All right, moving on. Allie? Funniest person on the planet, funniest inappropriate thing. You can go in either order. I'm frustrated because he took my pick. You were going to take one-armed Gary, too?

No, I was going to take Robin Williams. I was going to take Robin Williams. But I guess I'm going to go with an old school, very old school. I'm going to go with Lucille Ball. I think she was like the funniest ever. Come on. Totally. She was so funny.

Come on. For, like, revolutionized female comedy. That is. I mean, you're going historical funny, maybe. Yeah. One of the funniest women to ever live. She tried to pull that off today. She got three views.

Three likes. Okay. I'm just kidding. What is the funniest inappropriate thing? I'm just going to go with general sexism. Sexism. I think sexism jokes are hilarious, and I shouldn't think they're funny, and sexism's real, and I understand that that's a big problem

and making like inappropriate HR jokes about sexism is just so funny. Like blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. What am I saying? Because I'm a woman? Right, right. All that.

Great joke, Klein. Thank you. I need to appreciate that. You're like blah, blah, blah. All right, watch it. Go drive into a mailbox and call it a day. All right, fair enough. Hallie says sexism.

Can't believe the woman on the show says sexism. I know. I was going to go with racism, but I thought that'd be too predictable. DJ Omar Khan. Yeah. Funniest, I'm nervous to go for you for funniest inappropriate thing, but let's go with that. Well, the funniest inappropriate thing is, you know, just a standard.

I find it funny every single time, and that's just the standard 69 joke. Sure. Whenever 69 is brought up, nice, and it's always funny. Yeah, nice. It's very subtle. Yeah. When they talk about, even on the news, they're like, the highs today in the Valley are going to be 69. Yeah.

And there's like a moment where everyone just, like, has a, it's just, it is weird. It doesn't seem that inappropriate. Why would the high be 69 in the Valley? Well, it'd have to be in January. Blah, blah, blah. Hilarious. I don't listen to weather ladies, you know? They're just up there flaunting their stuff.

That's funny. And who's the funniest person on the planet, Omar? So this is going to be actually two people, and I think when I bring them up, you're going to agree that they come together as one package. And they've been writing movies and a TV show for a very long time, and that's the creators of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I thought you were going to go with Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Kevin Hart.

I thought he was going to say Kevin and Bean. I was like, you asshole. I'm sitting right here. All right, so you're going with... That's a great pick. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, man. Great pick, Omar. Yeah.

Oh, strong pick. Yeah, huge fan. All right, well, funny is the inappropriate thing. It's AIDS. Ah, well, AIDS is still funny. Because now it's not killing people, so it's back to being funny. Yeah, no, making a good AIDS joke, I feel like, is respectable now. Thank you.

So I think that's funny, if done well. And funniest person would be Tom Hanks from Philadelphia. That's funny because of AIDS. So boom, it's that coming. But only in that movie. Only in that movie. It's funny. I think Vanessa found him funny in Toy Story.

Now, funniest person, sadly no longer with us, Leslie Nielsen. Oh, wow. Could not not be funny. He was funny just in those movies. He was funny in everything. Dracula, Dead and Loving It. He was funny in everything. What about that interview you did with the fart machine?

That's hilarious. Yeah, he's the best. He's the funniest guy there ever was and ever will be. No one makes me laugh. If you made videos now, three likes, max. Whatever, doesn't matter. Funny guy, that Leslie Nielsen. Real funny.

I almost went with Mr. Bean. I always thought Mr. Bean was so funny, too. I would have accepted that. What's that, Rowan Atkinson or something? Yeah. What's his name? Yeah. All right, moving on.

This is the last picks. And Vanessa, let's keep this quick because we're behind time now. Funniest person to me right now. Big bird. No. Marcelo Hernandez. I think he's so funny. From SNL?

Yeah, he makes me laugh. There's a lot of funny Latinos, and everything he says, I'm like, oh, my God, that's hilarious. There's a ton of funny Latinos. What are you talking about? Fluffy's a funny Latino. There's a million funny Latinos. Well, he's the one that's making me laugh right now. Inappropriate.

Britney Spears, too naked all the time when she's dancing, and it's funny. Did you think you had to come up with another person for inappropriate? No, I just find her inappropriate sometimes. So you think she's inappropriately funny? Yep. Yeah, Britney Spears posts are, I feel bad for thinking they're hilarious, but they are. Can I change? I think that's a good pick.

AIDS to abortion? No. No. Okay. Finally, Johnny, we will, and you're going to say Paul Rudd probably, right? Because you think he's cool. But who do you have for funniest person on the planet? Oh, definitely not Paul Rudd.

The funniest man on earth to me is Cat Williams. I think anything that comes out of his mouth is so effing funny. That's also a good pick for inappropriate. Oh, well, actually, inappropriate. but you guys are going to hate me for this one, but you've got to remember I'm younger than you, and I see it differently, and my whole generation does. 9-11 jokes.

I think they're really funny when done correctly, especially like Pete Davidson. When are they done correctly? When he does them correctly. Just by him? And the memes online. Like, I know you guys, it was like a serious thing, but when 9-11 happened, I was like two years old,

so I understood it from the memes on Instagram and on Twitter, and they are so funny to laugh at, but it's like dark humor. Right. Well, we'll replay that again in about a week when the trip. Thanks. I want you to get your top 10 9-11 jokes ready for 9-11. We will take a break. And when we get back, we get your news to get to. But more importantly, we're hitting 10 o'clock, which means more festival tickets for you and more kegger tickets. And they're all coming up on K-Rock. Ali, we have the news to get to and then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin.

And I would assume it will probably be the greatest hour of your life. But first, what's happening in the world? Let's find out together on KROQ. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. I wanted to start off with a couple of great crimes that occurred over the weekend. These are crimes where you kind of root for the criminal. And one of them had to do with a Pabst beer heist. The other one is an Amazon fraud scam where two women were frauding Amazon and buying luxury purses and stuff with Amazon's money. But we'll start with the Pabst beer heist.

There was a sophisticated cargo theft operation that happened over the weekend where nearly $70,000 worth of beer disappeared from a Southern California distribution center. These were two separate pickups that were within an hour of each other. So this was all a very coordinated attack. It wasn't just some drunk idiots. And they were able to intercept these shipments, each valued at $45,000, before they were picked up for delivery. So it's pretty incredible. I don't, I'd like to hope that someone's just sitting there drinking this beer and not trying to turn it around for a profit, but pretty incredible. $45,000 worth of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

There's got to be a billion cans. Yeah. That's all the cans. It's so cheap. That's the most of it. And I think people really just drink it to be funny. No one drinks it because they like Pabst. It was trash for a while.

Then it became like kind of hipster cool. And then it was, then you go to like, everyone's talking about a nice restaurant. They'd be like, we have wine and we have Pabst Blue Ribbon. You're like, really? That's the one you went with? Did I mention Blue Ribbon? But then it became kind of cool again, and now I'm not sure where it falls. Jake, is that one of your drinking beers or no?

No, it's not. I drink hams, dude. Oh, Jake's a hams man. Good news. No hams were stolen this weekend at all. Those cans remain available for purchase. I've never even heard of hams. Jake's got to keep going.

Pabst is too popular. Hams. Yeah, exactly. Once a brand gets too cool, Jake can no longer drink it. So Jake probably was drinking Pabst and it was uncool. Then it became cool, and they were like, Jake's like, I'm off the hams. And then we had these two women that were, you know, fake vendors, essentially, on Amazon. They submitted more than a thousand fake invoices to Amazon to get reimbursed for things that they sold that they never actually sold.

That's cool. I know. And then they were able to steal $10 million from Amazon over the course of many years. And they used it to buy luxury homes and cars. And, of course, eventually this caught up with them. But it kind of makes you feel good stealing from the man. Well, I guess you assume if, I mean, Amazon's a pretty well-run company, they appear to be. I mean, they're able to get us random stuff we want, sometimes as quick as three hours after we decide we want it, which is incredible.

But also, you would think they make so much money that for them, $10 million missing dollars, maybe they don't even notice it. And it took them a while to figure it out. I feel like that's Bezos going, I lost my wallet. Right. That's the equivalent of one of us forgetting to get change after buying a sandwich. I'll keep it. Give it to those hungry kids. But they probably thought for a while, let's say they pull it off the first time and they're getting a couple thousand dollars. Like, hmm, that worked and it's been a few weeks, no one's called. Banks, money's still good.

At that point, this is the biggest problem most people have when they get caught. They have a good thing going and they just assume, keep it going because we're getting away with it. Why stop now? Yeah, it's like taking that little off the top thing at work and you're like, oh, cool. I guess I'll just take a little more, take a little more. They quit at a mil and maybe just a little bit beneath a million, assuming Amazon maybe doesn't go through and find $999,000 not worth our time. Do you think one of them was like, Cynthia, we're at $7 million. I feel like we should stop.

She's like, why? We're minting money. More McLarens. I mean, it just, at some point, though, that's what always ends up getting people. It's the greed part of it. We have another flash flood, this time in the Grand Canyon. This is just days after that big flood in Nepal, which now has over 900 people confirmed dead, 90 Americans still missing. and then this flood happens in the Grand Canyon

and people are still trapped. One person's died. They've been trying to rescue people and they have to do it through helicopter because deep in the canyon, there are no roads. There's no Wi-Fi. Donkeys. I thought people ride donkeys. They do.

They do, but those take even longer than helicopters. Oh, really? That's a terrible rescue. Don't worry, we can save you, but we need the donkey to walk its way down. It's also the fact that it's so muddy. Oh, the donkeys probably can't do it. Yeah, a lot of people couldn't hike out because you either have to hike out

or you have to get airlifted out or helicoptered out. Omar, you'll love this because this is an Uncle Leslie story. But when my Uncle Leslie was so fat, he went to the Grand Canyon and was planning on riding the donkeys around. And they said to him, you are too fat to ride the donkeys. They did? Oh, yeah. And he got into a huge fight about what his weight was.

And I think they brought out a scale. And he was way over the number even he said. Because they're like, you're too big for the donkeys, sir. You're not able to do the donkey rides down the canyon. How big was he? Oh, he was enormous. Was he like Rob the Blob's dad is? I mean, he was north 3-25, I want to say.

And by the way, not tall either, like 5'5", maybe. I mean, he was round. So this is what's going on in the Grand Canyon. The search for more than 20 people after a powerful flash flood tore through the Grand Canyon in Arizona. A dramatic new image is just coming in. People lining up, waiting for a helicopter to take them to safety. Dozens evacuated. The muddy water mixed with debris rushing through the Grand Canyon.

Some describing a wall of water ravaging through their campground. torrential rain weaving through the canyon, washing away trails, sweeping away bridges. What appears to be a cabin can be seen floating away. That's a bunkhouse there? So somebody's house floated away, and that's pretty bad. I mean, they're like just little log cabins and things like that, but it's probably going to take months, if not years, to clear away all of this.

The worst part is when the helicopter showed up, this is what was going on. If you're single and you plan on going out on a lot of dates, then this Jason report is for you. Just leave us in the canyon, Johnny. We don't want it. Drop me back off. I'd rather drown. We don't want it.

And then finally, the NFL season starts next Wednesday. But because of inflation, things are going to be changing a little bit this year, at least with the habits of people who normally tailgate. They said more and more people this year are going to be home gating. Oh, my God. Instead of traditional tailgating, because it now costs so much to do it all on site and pay for the parking and all of that. Of course, it's not the same. You have to be eating a hot dog out of the back of somebody's car to really be getting ready for a football game. But they said more people are just doing these kind of top-tier pre-game parties at their homes or at somebody else's instead of doing it at the game itself.

And this is also people that are just going to stay home and watch the game at home rather than even go to the games. Well, listen, this idea I hate less. If you're saying now on the uptick, people are throwing full-blown tailgates in their driveway before going inside to watch the game. That, I kind of like the concept. I can get behind that. Better than just sitting there and watching the game. Yeah, if you're talking about people are like, let's meet at Steve's house first, then we'll do the grill, and then we're going to go ahead and Uber over to the game and get off. That's not as much fun as the in-parking lot tailgate.

But there are people that do it well, and you need to know that friend that does it well. And they're the ones that are there at 4 in the morning making chili and stuff like that to get ready for the game. It's sad when you know, because I knew two people like that, and they both stopped doing it. Because it got too expensive or just too annoying? It's like someone with a boat getting rid of their boat. You're like, no! I also feel bad for the people that are really good at the parking lot tailgate, because a lot of times they are big fans of the team, and they are the ones,

the second it gets close to kickoff time, everyone grabs their rib and they run off into the stadium. And there's the person there who set it up. It's like, I got to put these coals out. I know, I guess I'll box up this grill now. I'll see you by halftime. I always feel bad for that person. Or they end up just watching the game in the back of their own truck. I know, because we always leave like half an hour before.

All right, we get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. If you need us, we're here for the interaction. It's K-Rock Klein Alley Show.