Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- Bad Parkers, Comedian Ryan Hamilton and MORE

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

We are blowing out tickets. It is summer still, and we've got tickets, tickets, and more tickets. And now those tickets can be yours. Call it 20 right now. Let's see what we have in store for you. Because I know all week we're hooking you up with everything from Foo Fighters to Muse to Death Cab. We also have Avenged Sevenfold, The Good Charlotte, Noah Khan. And right now we have some tickets for you to go see Noah Khan.

So be ready to claim those tickets if you are the 20th caller, 800-520-1067. I know some people are calling. They just want to win. They don't care who they're going to go see. But I prefer you call if you are a fan of Noah Kahn and want to go to that show. And then next hour, not to give too much away too soon, but in an hour from right now, I believe we have your Foo Fighters tickets to give you. So get ready for that coming up in less than an hour from right now. Lots to get to this hour on the show as soon as we give those tickets away.

We have the very funny Ryan Hamilton stopping in to hang with us in the K-Rock Studios. You know, for him to return to Los Angeles is very brave because Los Angeles is a city that almost killed him. I mean, I believe it was. I think it's almost killed a lot of us. Almost killed a lot of us. But he was at LAX, got hit by one of those buses, one of those shuttle buses at LAX. One of the shuttle buses I was waiting for for seven hours. He's the reason why, because he got taken down by it.

And we'll hear your near-death stories as well. If you can try to one-up Ryan Hamilton while he's in with us, we will hook you up with some tickets as well. So you can go to Wild Rivers Waterpark in Irvine and beat the heat. So that's coming up this hour on the show and much more. If you need us for the interaction, 800-520-1067 to call, to text. My name's Klein. That's Allie. Hello.

That is DJ Omar Khan right there. That is Jake the Nerd. What's up? You got the Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa in the back and on the phone right now representing the callers in the number 20 spot we have from Costa Mesa. Is this Amanda? Yes. You are the 20th caller. That's awesome.

So we've got some tickets for you to be a part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout. You'll be going to see Noah Kahn. Congratulations. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. You are very welcome, and thank you for starting your day with us here on KROQ. We have lots to get into this hour, and it all starts with some yellow card on KROQ. KROQ Line Alley Show.

If you're driving around today or going to park somewhere and you realize that there's no spots, even though there are spots because people park like total asses, you're not alone. It's why we have Park Week. It's an annual tradition around here where we shame the people that have forgotten how to park the car in the lines or they've decided that I'm going to make myself a double spot. I'm going to decide that I'm more important than other people. And there's a lot of different types of bad parkers. We've talked about the people that like to back it in every time, which usually creates—

Oh, my God, the back-inners? There's so many different types, and all we're asking for you to do is document, tag us in the picture as a Klein Alley Show, officially submit them because we do have a pretty good grand prize up for grabs this year for the winner of all of Park Week that gives us the most despicable parking job caught on display, you must send them to krock.com slash parkweek to get involved.

I know a lot of people are tagging us in pictures. We've been reposting them. But that's the way to officially get involved. And, of course, please do also tag us so we can repost as well. But up for grabs, if you do give us the greatest of the bad parking jobs, you will get to go to Petco Park,

not once but twice, for Pierce the Veil and, again, for Dia de los Deftones. And we will also send you to see Rise Against at Great Park Live. So lots of park opportunities for you if you help us bust the worst parker in L.A. I do. I believe that we are going to get a lot of submissions this year for cyber trucks parking badly, specifically large cyber trucks that are trying to fit into compact spots.

I see that all the time where it's like this massive truck trying to fit into this tiny spot and nobody can get around. Yeah, I mean, we learned that in some ways we're set up for failure living here because there are certain rules that if you run a business, you have to be able – I think there's a rule. You have to be able to supply at least a certain amount of spots. So what they've done so that they hit their quota is they've painted the lines a lot closer than they necessarily need to be. And there are plenty of specifically Trader Joe's parking lots where even if every car were to squeeze into the lines – We would still have to squeeze in and out of our cars. Right, there wouldn't be the ability to actually get in or out of your car. So I think that part of it is that they are done poorly, and then there's quite a few strip malls here where they've—

People abuse the compact parking spots. Right, and also the way that they—I told you about that mall, the strip mall I go to that's got like a 7-Eleven and a bunch of stores people want, but for some reason that frame store has got nine spots reserved, and I've never seen one— And they're always open. Never seen one person in there ever, so I don't know what the hell happened. And I know some people claim that when you rent or lease a space, it comes with a certain amount of parking. Yeah, but you have to pay for those, don't you? And also, we're screwed, too, in this town because they like to force valet upon us so many different places.

And the road signs are confusing, too, because you can park in a place that looks like it's legit. So I wonder if that's a reason why we park badly is because we're all disgruntled parkers. And that's part of it. I'm not going to defend it because, as you know, there are certain people. We reposted one yesterday, and it was a Rolls Royce that was parked in a red zone. and I think it was double annoying because I think it was a convertible rolls. Already it was like, I hate this.

I don't know this person, but I already hate this person. And they were parked, I think it was a red zone and a fire, it was red. By a fire hydrant? Fire hydrant. It was a perfect storm. And there are some times where you're like, I want to wait and see who this person is.

Yeah, but this person just didn't care at all. Obviously either money was no problem, I'll get whatever ticket this is. But to do red zone slash fire hydrant slash be a Rolls-Royce convertible. But everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule. Like, I'm just going to be in and out. And I have done that before, but never in that...

You've done it for a handicap. Once again, you're making it sound worse than it was. I was temporarily handicapped because I had a bathroom emergency. And there was multiple... I never would have taken the only one handicapped spot. There were multiple handicapped spots. And my option was either loading zone, leave it,

or handicap, leave it. And I thought it would be less... Well, since it was poop-related, I would have picked loading. Unloading. Where's the unloading zone? That's what we need. We're back in a moment.

When we return, Ryan Hamilton joins us in the KROQ studios, and we will hear your stories of near-death experiences. This man was almost killed while leaving LAX. Talk about bad parking. Someone else parked on top of him. We'll come back with that in a moment and give you some tickets and water park access next on KROQ. 106.7 KROQ.

We are a Klein Alley show in our studio right now from his brand-new Netflix special that we're going to listen to a clip from, and then we will say hello to Ryan Hamilton. we have all these devices constantly broadcasting our location right so here's what dating has become in the modern world who's right here right now it's like we're hunting fugitives on the run or something you know set a 10 mile perimeter close all the roads she's got a five mile head start move it move it it's like who are you interested in everyone in a hundred yard radius

basically i'm just not really into long distance relationships but what's your type just people near me just in the general area welcome to k rock ryan hamilton that is so true you are single right now so you have had the ups and downs with the dating apps correct yeah i haven't been on in a while the dating apps but um you know yeah of course people do set the perimeter and they just go because i we have someone on our show right now that is in a few of them and it has become anyone who is i think he's even whittled it down within a few streets within a few streets like it's gotten like immediate people you won't even try convenience anything over a mile away is too far yeah but that's la i guess that's nice in a way but it's so crazy yeah but i i've read

that a lot of people now are just choosing to meet in real life again because dating apps have gotten so exhausting so i guess you're of that camp i just kind of spend a lot of time alone as my camp, is what it ends up being. It's a solo camp. Party of one. Yeah, I am trying to meet people in real life, I think. Yeah. Well, you have a crazy story, which we'll get into in a moment, because people want

to call in and try to one-up you with times they almost died. But when you came to LA, you lived here for only six weeks, but it was because you were in recovery because of a story that I thought, to be honest, I don't ever know with comedians, is this a made-up story or a real story? In your particular case, a very real story, and it was basically you arriving at LA and and immediately getting run over by a shuttle bus. Yeah, well, actually, I was in L.A. for like 10 days with COVID is what happened. Oh, fun.

Yeah, so I landed in LAX. It was one of my first gigs back at the end of COVID from Hawaii. And I got an alert on my phone that said I'd been exposed to COVID as I'm walking through LAX. So I walked to the hotel. I take a test. It's positive. So it was a 10-day thing at that time. So I was in the hotel for 10 days.

My first day out was January 1, 2022, walking to pick up a rental car. and that i just came to an intersection hit the button watched the light turn started walking and i didn't see her here and it just felt the impact so you it was you saw a little walking symbol like it was your turn to walk yes yes and you just are walking to your destination to the rental car shuttle yeah i just decided i'm gonna walk it was like covid kind of thinking it was like it was i just watched the ball drop it was like two in the morning oh i was celebrating yeah Yeah, yeah, but it was January 1, and I just, you know, I thought, I'm just going to get this done. I want to get out of here first thing in the morning.

The place is open 24 hours. I'm so happy to be done with all this. Freedom, oh, sweet freedom. And then you get plowed over. Yes. And that was almost game over for you. I mean, it could have been. It could have been, sure.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, all the doctors were just, like, shocked. There was no head trauma. There's always head trauma. I don't know, maybe the jury's out still. Yeah, maybe it's a slow burn. But with those shuttle buses too It seems like it takes them forever to stop So even if they hit you

I feel like you'd get dragged Underneath the bus From what I recall it hit me and threw me Whoa you like ricocheted off of it Yeah I landed Aways from the bus You get a sweet payday from this The shuttle bus company went out of business

Like right the week of the accident No way It was a tiny shuttle bus company If we hit one more person we gotta shut it down We've already hit five this week. Steve, damn you. My attorneys go, that's not an accident. But, you know, they had an insurance company, so there was something there.

Something, but not worth it. No, not worth it at all. That's pretty bad. No, no. You had punctured lungs and broken, I mean, you were all jammed up for a while. Yeah, ten broken ribs, five of them in a couple places. We're going to make an even worse L.A. experience for you right now. Because someone who works on our show claims, and this is not the first time this person on our show has claimed this,

but he claims that he used to do comedy with you in Seattle. Okay. With, I think, is in quotations. Right, right. I think you were just in the same building. Or could have just been the same city at the same time. I don't really know. Now, this person has claimed many times when we have comedians in,

oftentimes they've got a big special on Netflix, so I would argue you've made it as a comedian. You're touring. In fact, we'll talk about some dates you have coming up in Southern California at the Irvine Improv September 10th through the 12th if you want to see Ryan live there. But this person will always claim when we have a comedian, oh, I used to do comedy with them. I'm sure they'll remember me.

And Allie and I always argue and go, there's no chance they're going to remember you because you're very forgettable, which is not good for their self-esteem. Or also, it's just been so long and you meet so many people on the stand-up comedy circuit. How are you supposed to remember every comic that you perform with or meet or are on the same lineup as? So we're going to bring in four people right now. Okay. One of them claims that you will remember them. So I'm putting some pressure on you. I like this.

And once again, they did also claim that from what they remember, you were a very nice guy. You're one of the real ones. You're not one of these comedians that people don't like. I already know they're lying. It's not you. So I'm bringing in four people who are going to come into the KROQ studios right now. One of these, so three people. That's all we could get, a bunch of cuts.

We have three people. Oh, there's the fourth. That's the producer of our show. You can eliminate her immediately. All right, now quickly, Vanessa, get out of here. She can't pretend Now Ryan is studying the faces now Of these people

He's studying the faces Do you believe that you can tell First of all do any of them look familiar to you at all There is one There's one that looks familiar I don't recall where we met Or how we met But I know your face

And I'm pretty sure we've met Or I know your face Are you pointing at the man in the middle The man on the right here The man on the right wearing the purple hat Yeah. All right, so you don't know how you know him, but you recognize that face. I do recognize that face.

He's gotten a bit older. It's been a long time. Want to take your hat off to show just how much older? Yeah, show how old you've gotten, Jake. All right, well, Ryan was the first comedian that was able to actually remember Jake's face. Congratulations. What's your name? Jake Dill.

Jake Dill, of course. Yes. Jake Dill. Where you been? Jake. Jake. All right, Jake, go back to your office. I'll see you again in 20 years.

He can't hear us now. You don't remember him, right? You don't remember him, do you? I know his face. I mean, I lived in Seattle for a year. So we must have crossed paths at some point. Do you remember ever seeing his stand-up comedy? No, I can't remember anything specifically.

Consider yourself lucky for that one. I kind of remember maybe, you know, he was at the back of a comedy club or something like that. He just booked an indoor comedy club again. Oh, yeah, Jake was back to performing indoors. Jake was only doing outdoor shows for a while And I'm not talking about COVID days I'm talking about recently Jake, how close would you say you ever really were

To Ryan Hamilton, be honest How close? I mean, not that close But we knew all the same people I can name Seattle comedians that we both know very well Would you consider Ryan Hamilton a friend? We're friendly But no, we never hung out You're insane, dude

When he's just going, you look familiar You're not friendly We're best friends There you have it That just goes to show you The amount of people that have come into this station That Jake goes, oh yeah, that's my friend And they go, hi, nice to meet you

It's remarkable Ryan's busy selling out real venues And doing comedy specials We have lots of mutual friends Who also don't remember me In a moment, we're going to take these calls There's a lot of people that would like to tell you The times they almost died

And you will help us decide which one of these people actually can come toe-to-toe with your story. Okay. Ryan Hamilton is here. His special's on Netflix right now. It's called This Just Hit Me, Coincidentally, Just Like the Bus, which I believe is how you were titling that, correct?

Yeah, that's right, yeah. Yeah, so it's a story about near death that became a positive. When did you almost die? How did you almost die? We'll take your stories next at 800-520-1067. Ryan Hamilton is here right now. Comedian, special on Netflix currently,

and ryanhamiltonlive.com. jake the nerd's best friend we'll come back with your stories and give away these tickets so you can go to a water park and potentially almost die there that'll be fun and that'll be after this on carol here we are klein alley show in our studio right now very funny on netflix currently ryan hamilton the special is just hit me of course he had a special that was out years ago which i like a lot of people probably saw the new special first and then went back and saw the happy face special where you uh have been accused and this is unfortunately one of the things that you've been accused of and this is not because you got hit by the boss but you constantly look

like you're smiling yeah so you always look like you're in a good mood so whenever someone says something my grandma died you look like you're mocking them yeah i can't go to a funeral you know i'm so sorry for your loss uh i wake up in the morning and i look in the mirror and i go this is inaccurate i i look like this i don't feel like this it's like the opposite of what i have which is the resting monster i know we both look pissed off all the time always and i wish that i had i mean i guess what's the what's what's the worst one right if everyone expects that you're overly happy or everyone expects that you're pissed off. People always come up to me and say, what's wrong?

And I'm like, why do you think something's wrong? And they say, you look like there's something wrong. Do people look at you differently? I don't know, I think people go, I can take advantage of that guy. That guy looks like a sucker. This guy looks scammable. Hi, sucker. If you're a criminal and you see me walking around

and you go, it's going to be a good day, I think I got this in the back. That guy looks very gullible. Well, there's a lot of people on the phone. Whenever you talk about it, I almost died. And you didn't say it, but let's be honest you got hit by a shuttle bus by lax uh broke a lot of bones spent a lot of time in recovery uh and so other people like to one-up those stories and have a lot of people that would like to go ahead and share their stories with you you'll help us decide who's got the closest let's

say hi to dave right now dave how did you almost die i almost died by piercing my tongue explain so what it was i was 18 years old i was at a tattoo parlor got my tongue pierced a couple days my tongue was fat you know but and i read on it and said the tongue could swell down in a couple days but it never did so um after that my back started hurting oh and i was so yeah i was throwing up so i didn't go back i didn't go actually my mom took me to doctors like three days after i started feeling kind of sick so luckily my mom took me to the doctors because the doctor said if i would have waited another day or two i would have probably died because Because what happened is when I was at the hospital, I was in a coma for a week.

They did, like, spinal taps on me. They did all this kind of, you know, testing to figure out what was going on with it. So my organs started shutting down. So my mom was already signing the papers, you know, to donate my organs. Whoa! She didn't like you, huh? She was probably already so mad that you got your tongue pierced in the first place. Yeah, and bring the papers in.

We don't need those yet, ma'am. I told him not to get his tongue pierced. It's still signed right here. Hold on, Dave. Hold on. That's an interesting one. I mean, listen. That's a slow burn.

Slow burn. Doesn't have the same glory as getting hit by one of those shuttle buses. Also, you know, you choose that. You chose to get your tongue pierced. True. So, you know, come on. That's on you, man. Yeah, yeah.

You don't deserve to die, but you deserve something if you're choosing to get your tongue pierced. Joy, go ahead. You almost died. Ryan almost died. He's here to tell the tale. What happened to you? Yes. So, I almost died on a rented bike in the Netherlands.

Okay. how um relatable relatable i was with my mom we were traveling in europe and she was on the bike and i don't know why she made this decision but she sped across the pedestrian walkway just as the light was about to change and i'm freaking out because i'm like i don't want to lose her but also i don't want to get hit by a car so i'm pedaling as fast as i can and i jump the curb and i go toward the concrete and i see my whole life flash before me 25 whole life flash before me And thank God I was able to, like, push myself up with my hands. But I swear, I saw my face smash in that basement, and I was gone.

And nothing happened? You ended up with nothing happening? I feel like you wasted your life flashing before your eyes for nothing. I don't even know if I can count that as an almost death. I really was just an idiot tourist who fell off a bicycle. Yeah, that happens. I think Ryan's got you beat on that one. I've fallen off of a bike, like, six times.

Yeah. That's when Allie says she's going bike riding. That's what she means. That's a Friday. She's falling off of bikes. Hold on. Saul, you think you can one-up Ryan. Go ahead.

Hey, good morning. How's it going, guys? So, back in 2015, I was riding home from work on my motorcycle, and I stopped at a stop sign, and that was the last thing I remembered. Next thing you know, I'm waking up, and I'm in the hospital. It turns out I had been in a coma for six months. Whoa! And I was on a ventilator, on life support and everything, so I couldn't talk. So, I didn't really know what was going on.

And then, like, my sister was there with me, and she was telling me, I guess, Like, I had already had, like, 27 surgeries because I shattered my pelvis. I lost my leg, and I shattered my arm. And then it still took me a whole nother year to go to rehab and stuff to learn how to walk again. Well, and you have to learn to walk with just, well, the one leg. Yeah, yeah, so it sucked because, like, all the swelling and, like, I guess my nub, you know? So you got to get used to that in your body. You wear a sock over it and stuff, so...

Is it possible you were only in there for like a week and your sister was just messing with you? Because that would have been funny. And you have no leg. Your life is over. Your wife left you. All right. Well, that's all for you.

That's intense, man. That actually rivals your story a little bit. Oh, yeah, yeah. That sounds pretty serious. In fact, if any of these stories you want to take for your next special, you can just take one of them and change the names and you've got a new story to tell. This just hit me.

Motorcycle edition. Vanessa, we give you the... Oh, let's do Carlos. Man, Carlos, we give you the final word here, and then we've got to make a decision. Ryan's going to help us decide which story rivals his the best. Go ahead, Carlos. Hey, good morning, guys.

So I almost got shot for being a hero. What happened? So I was 16, 17, just got my license, driving with my friends, and we see this guy literally trying to drag or grab his girlfriend or partner, whatever, she's screaming, like, get away from me, whatever. We get off, like, hey, confronting the guy. The guy pushes the girl, runs away, and the girl just starts telling us, like, get out of here, get out of here, mind your business, get out.

So we're like, all right, we left. And then a couple blocks later, the car pulls up. I turn to my left, and I see the guy from his passenger side just pull up a gun, ready about to shoot me. And if it wasn't for that same crazy girl, she literally grabbed his hand and said, no, no, no. And I was just, I was shocked. I didn't move. Wow. Yeah, so if she hadn't stepped in and said, don't shoot him, you think you would have just been shot?

Yeah, I feel like, yeah, he already had it aimed at me, and I was just, I just froze. That's it. Well, yeah, almost dying just for trying to save somebody, that's pretty bad. We've heard some stories. Which one resonates with you the most as someone who almost died right here in L.A.? This motorcycle accident feels like real trauma to me. Yeah, that sucks. I mean, 27 surgeries?

Yeah, that's intense. and losing six months of your life, if that's, you know, legit. Or getting a lovely six-month nap. Yeah. Which you don't really appreciate. Oh, sounds great. Until afterwards.

I agree. That one, I think, was, by the way, the most. I mean, that guy. Yeah. Makes your story sound weak, actually. Yeah, exactly. He's really ruined your entire... It's too bad that guy's not a comedian.

You know? He could really... He could really one-up your special. He could bump you right off there. Just hit me. We get it. Before you go, Ryan, we have a question for you

since you have recently been to a Buc-ee's? Okay. This is an important question. Okay. This is a long-going feud on the show. Yeah, this is something that's been debated for a while, and maybe you can finally settle it. Do you consider Buc-ee's to be a store,

or do you consider Buc-ee's first to be a gas station? Well, after visiting it, it's a hard question to answer. But until you visit it, it's pretty easy. But once you visit it, it becomes difficult. But I'm still going to say in my heart of hearts that it's a gas station. Wow! Damn it! Beautiful.

Hear that, Jake? Jake, you hear that? You hear that? That he's divided, though. After you go, after you've gone to one, wait, wait, wait. After you've gone to one, which way are you leading? He's been to them, but he recently just drove by one. In fact, he posted something just like last week on your Instagram where you posted that you're driving by a buggy.

He said, look at that gas station. Look at that gas station. Do you think more people go there for the store or the gas? I think they go there because it's Buc-ee's and it's there. Because it's both. It's there. It's just there. It's there.

That's how it wins. It's not a store or a gas station. It's just there. When you went there, did you get gas previously? Yeah. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once again.

I stopped for gas. And then it was convenient that there was also a large store. Let me go look at this crazy museum. But that was the main reason for the purpose. Jake, you can't admit anything now? I disagree. You're once again by yourself. Ryan Hamilton stand-up special, which is on Netflix right now.

You should watch it if you haven't already. It's very funny. This just hit me. You'll hear about his time in L.A. Not only just under the bus, but other things as well. Dating, single, workout routine. It's a very funny special. And I recommend that highly also RyanHamiltonLive.com for tickets to the upcoming shows, including the Irvine Improv on September 10th through the 12th.

So he'll be back here for that and then much more coming up. And when you're back in L.A., please stop by. You're always welcome here. Thanks. This is so fun. Next time, do you think he'll remember Jake Alley or no? E. That would be funny.

He's a store guy. It erased my memory once I saw him again. Starts all over again. Men in Black style. More show after this. Hey, Rob. We are Klein Alley Show. We'll get into some ADD news, then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin.

Of course, there's a lot of messages always waiting on that GOAT line for you. 844-956-GOAT. Hey, guys, I have a request. Since Fat Alley is back, don't forget that that means you get to bring back the ADD news intro about the one that says, And now, Barbara Walrus. Thanks. Appreciate it. Bye-bye.

You know what? That is a popular request. I don't think we're there yet. Oh, Omar. I don't think so. We're not there 100% yet. Omar's disappointed. I'm not fatter by now.

Totally. But you can see the tusks are starting to grow, and that means it's time for this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. And now, here she is, Barbara Walrus. We do have a bunch of old ADD News intros. That are all fat-shaming in different ways, so we'll bring those back. Thank you for reminding us to find all those.

We stored them in the refrigerator, but we'll bring them out and we'll play them all in due time. Last night I had an entire potato's worth of homemade fries, a giant vat of spinach, and a bison burger, and was hungry an hour later. Yeah, but all that crap you're saying right now, that's not going to get you where you need to get. A vat of spinach? That's nothing. I mean, come on. I have to eat a vegetable at some point. Let's go. Let's go to the real stuff, Allie. Come on. Bison's an interesting choice. Why'd you go bison?

It's all I had in the freezer. But I remember before I was, when I was trying to get pregnant, I was trying to eat things with as much iron as possible. So I had a bunch of leftover bison that I had bought at Costco. That's a bison on bison crime. I'll eat a bison. Who will take over first, the animals or the robots? With AI starting to hack other companies, you'd think, okay, maybe it's the robots. Then you hear about all the animal attacks and you go, ah, maybe it's going to be animals that will kill us all first.

We have yet another rattlesnake bite incident. This one happened in Stevenson Ranch up in Santa Clarita. Bit a woman named Linda who says gardening is her therapy every day. She went out to tend to her roses. She lifted up a bush. And then this happened. Before Linda Martin could even make one snip Saturday evening, she was racing for her life. Oh, God.

Racing! She seemed super annoying. She had a weapon on her, too. I mean, she had... She had clippers, yeah. She had those clippers. Could have taken the head right off that thing. That would have been so cool.

I lifted the bush, and when I did, I saw the rattler. No warning, not even a rattling sound. Just sudden pain and a burning sensation. Just another indication that Jake is wrong yet again. We made. You said at the beginning, they're only off the trail, so just stay on the trail, you'll be fine. Yes, if you're hiking, stay on a trail, you'll be fine. And they want nothing to do with you, and if you don't bother them, they're not going to bite you.

And this is like the fourth or fifth thing in a row of someone that was just doing their own daily whatever. And the snake was like, don't like it. I'll bite you. I think the last like seven rattlesnake bites have not been on a trail. Yeah. I mean, the one we did talk about last week was that girl that went out to pick up an Amazon package. There was a snake hiding beneath it. It bit her.

Lying in wait. I'm sure there's other snake encounters all time on trails every day that we don't hear about it because nothing happens. Right. Because you couldn't possibly be wrong. Right. That's impossible. Within 30 to 45 seconds, I started feeling the tingling in my fingertips. And then it moved to my jaw, my cheeks, my tongue.

And her husband's like, come on, take her. Let's go. A minute later, she was on the floor of her Stevenson Ranch home, trying to call 911. But her spotty cell signal failed to connect. Dialed a third time, and that's when my husband looked at me and said, just get in the car. Third time. His husband is like, get in the car, you dumbass. Getting bit by a rattlesnake.

Tripping your stupid rose bushes. Within 10 minutes, they arrived at Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital ER, where she was given anti-venom. Experts say her story isn't so rare nowadays. Yeah, so that happened. And then, in other news... That anti-venom, by the way, I don't think places have that much of it, because it feels like every time they get one person in there with a bite, they go through their entire supply. I think sometimes they have to get a second dose from another hospital.

Yeah, it's always bringing around and sharing the anti-venom. And I wonder how many anti-venoms they have of different animals. Right, they've got a scorpion one, they've got a spider one, they've got a snake one, they've got a few different species, but that's kind of it. Can you start micro-dosing anti-venom now, just to have a nice little immunity to it, so if a snake bites you, you just keep on with your day? I think some people who own cobras do that. Really? I think so. They administer venom to themselves, so they can build up an immunity?

I've heard some real freaky dudes doing that, so if they get bit, they have some kind of immunity to it. What are the odds that Jake knows how the people that own cobras live their lives? I know a few freaky snake dudes. Yeah, all right. So also, coyotes have taken over an abandoned building in West Hollywood, and this is even scarier if you weren't freaked out by the rattlesnakes. This abandoned building has turned into an animal shelter, and here's a little bit of what they have to put up with, especially at night.

So that's what the building sounds like every single night. And this is a woman lives right across the street in a residential neighborhood, But there's this abandoned building that's just kind of like it's a construction project that got abandoned. And all these coyotes just live there now. Not your typical neighbors. We have like a zoo here. Coyotes wandering the floors of this abandoned development in West Hollywood. This video shows a coyote with at least three small pups.

They roam around. There's a little one. They're kind of straggly. That is so loud. So loud. At night, the neighbors say the howling is deafening. I'm scared to go to my house. I opened my garage, and I'm afraid if one of them is not going to come to my house.

Ava lives right across the street. I complained, West Hollywood, and they told me they're going to talk to the owner. The head coyote. What seems to be the problem, man? The reality is, I lived in West Hollywood for a bit, and I lived right next to a very, very loud gay club. And that was almost as bad as the coyote. That's where I learned that voice. I picked up that voice.

Same shrieking? Same high-pitched shrieking. And I said, I think there's a bunch of coyotes living in there. I complained, too. I said, these must be all coyotes. They go, no, no, those are all men. But then, of course, there are a lot of wildlife activists out there who think that this is just fine. The development has been sitting idle for at least two years.

I, myself, am not that turned off by the fact that, you know, some animals in need of a home would come in. Of course, of course, you're not turned off by it. Turned on by everything. I'm not turned off by anything. But the fact that you're like, oh, these animals need a home. Let's just let them raid this. This is where people start making fun of California. If the building's abandoned, by the way,

Halloween's right around the corner. We should convert this thing into a haunted house. Oh, my God. Talk about a scare zone. We would make so much money. You'd have to go in with your dogs. You'd leave the coyotes in there? Totally, of course.

It's a real haunted house? Totally. Bring your small children and dogs. Oh, possibly. Enter at your own risk. We have them sign waivers. Cool. That's real fear.

If there's one thing that this company loves, it's a spreadsheet. They love showing us the state of radio with every graph and spreadsheet imaginable. It's not dead. It's not dead. I look at my paycheck. Yeah, it's dead.

But spreadsheets aren't just for companies anymore. Here's the last spreadsheet they showed us. If you see here, this is your career. It was here. Now people have spreadsheets for their dating lives because single people are now overwhelmed by the dating world. They're trying to keep track of their dating lives because there's too many people. There's too many first dates. They can't keep track.

Sometimes you date the same person. You don't even realize it. So after the dates, they will log certain details to allow them to keep track, make sure they're not overlooking any red flags. Some of them even have a friend's commentary section so that the friends can comment their first impressions. But you can put in their occupation, their emotional availability, the chemistry from 1 to 10, who paid, yeah, friends' opinions, any deal breakers, green flags versus red flags, and how many dates they went to, when they started catching feelings. All that stuff is being tracked now.

That sounds like a real bore fest after a date. So much work. Just go in and open up your spreadsheet. Why don't you just go get laid? Get drunk and get laid like it used to be. That was fine. People figured it out. Spreadsheets are only created out of sheer boredom or desperation.

Like, I'm so desperate. The only way I can keep my thoughts together is through a spreadsheet or I have nothing better to do. I'm getting close. When you started this story, Al, you said that radio is in a bad place. But I want to play this message to prove that that is not the case. We are all doing great. Hey, listen to yesterday's episode.

I started feeling sad for Jake. You guys need to somehow get him a raise or we can have a GoFundMe to buy him some meat for his sandwiches. Or is he just not good with his money? But it was sad. I was just speechless listening to someone making a mustard sandwich on the street like a homeless guy. So I don't know if he needs a raise or someone needs a peach and I don't manage his money. It's probably a combination of the both. It's both. He's bad with money.

Jake is terrible with money because he always buys these stupid paintings he finds on Facebook Marketplace. Because I'm saving money on meat. That's right. That's meat money. He could be spending it on meat. Instead, he's buying himself more blacklight posters for the shack. We get into a brand new hour of the show next.