Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- Johnny Doesn't Know, Banger Requests and MORE

Episode Date: September 4, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock. Not just any Friday, but the Friday that is leading into a long weekend.

Labor Day weekend is here, which means the banger bus will roll you and yours into the holiday weekend. So if there's a song you need to hear over the airwaves of K-Rock, you can get them to us right now at 800-520-1067. and you control the stuff we play on K-Rock for the next few hours. So the only request that we have for you is make sure it is a certified banger. And Jake has just given me a list of his top 27 Tool songs. And they're all one song. And it's just one song. And that's a lot of noodling with Tool.

But we will not have time for that during this banger bus. But if there's something you need to hear, we'll get it on. So get them to us on the text line or call in 800-520-1067. And, Allie, I don't think you're supposed to do that kind of dancing while you're pregnant. Really? I think so. It's making us all—I'm thinking about doing a late-term abortion for myself, so I'd like to see that. We'll get into your request this hour on the show, and we'll get into a round of Johnny Doesn't Know in a moment.

So your chance to win some tickets based on Will Johnny Know answers to very easy questions. And we will get to that. If you'd like to play, give us a call now, 800-520-1067. First request from the 818 is the Chemical Brothers. I don't think we've played this on KROQ in a while. Hold on one second. It's time now for your first BangerBus request. You need to hear it on KROQ.

We'll get it on for you, get in all your requests, and we'll get them on over the next few hours here as the BangerBus is rolling through the KROQ studios before we officially turn things over to the Alphabet and the Labor Day-to-Z weekend starts at noon today through your Labor Day weekend. All right, bring in Johnny the Dummy. It's time for a little round of Johnny Doesn't Know.

Hit it. Hit it. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in that for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know.

Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes wiggles. There's a lot of requests coming through here for show-specific songs that are not necessarily K-rock bangers. Someone is requesting the Lazara rap that Jake used to do in his Lazara commercial. That's such a deep cut. I respect it. That's a good one.

There's a request for Vanessa's Smash My Bitch Up. Oh, yeah. Another one as well. So if there are bangers that you hear on K-Rock, bangers you hear in the real world, or ones that this stupid show has put together, we'll take them all as the banger bus rolls on. Johnny, how are you feeling today? I feel very sick. Yeah, you tried to pre-call out sick because you said you had the sniffles,

and you were convinced that Vanessa got you sick because you guys sit back there in the chicken coop. Oh, she did, yeah, and everybody else in this building because everybody else in this building has got the sniffles to some degree. But anyway, that's not a reason to stay home, and you're here, so we might as well get inside your brain. We did find out when you were younger you were hitting the head with a golf club, which may explain why your answers will be what they are.

It's time for this round of Johnny Doesn't Know, and the theme is ingredients because, as we learned, Johnny doesn't know a lot about a lot of things, but food always seems to trip him up. So we say good morning to Mikey, Simi Valley. You don't need to know the answer. You just need to know if Johnny will. First question for Johnny is, what is the type of cheese that is used in cheesecake?

Will Johnny know that, yes or no? There's no way he knows that. With confidence, he says there is no way you will know what type of cheese is used in cheesecake. Does sound like a toughie for Johnny. It does, but it's, like, obvious, though. It's cream cheese cheesecake. You think so? Cheesecake cheese.

Like, there's a special cheese for it. Are you reading a book? Cheesecake, cheese. Oh, but the cheese. Wait, Johnny, you answered so quickly, I don't even think you thought about the question. Yeah, what kind of cheese is in cheesecake? Have you eaten cheesecake before? No, because I'm lactose intolerant.

Right. Yeah, but don't you eat pizza and stuff? Yeah, but, like, it's, like, special, though. It's, like, I get bad cramps. Lactose intolerant people are hilarious to me. Because they're like, yeah, I throw up and crap all over the place, but let's get some ice cream. Yeah, it is what it is. Like, okay.

All right, so, Johnny, you're going to lock in your original guess? Yeah, cheesecake cheese. I mean, it's just regular cheese, obviously, but like in cake form. Oh, my God. Hey, shut up. Let me answer. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. So you're saying cheesecake cheese? Yeah, cheesecake cheese. That's not a type of cheese, dude. I just said cheesecake cheese. Lock it in. Why do you keep saying that?

Because that's what it's made out of. Cheesecake. Because you got hit in the head with a ball. Hey, shut up. Let me answer and play the game. Put this thing on hold. Johnny, I don't want you to... What is your answer?

What type of cheese is used in cheesecake? Cheesecake cheese. All right, that's not right. I can't accept that. I'm sorry. Thank you, Mikey. Thank you. Sniffles.

Blame the sniffles. But didn't you kind of say cream cheese? He said it, and then he stopped saying it. It was cream cheese, yeah. Cream cheese cheesecake. What? Dude, you just... You said cheesecake cheese.

You just kept saying cheesecake cheese and saying it louder. I did say that. Yeah, cream cheese. Cream cheese, yeah. You said it early, but I just sometimes you like to... Cream cheese, but I said it first, though. Cream cheese. All right, all right.

Well, the answer is burrata. Burrata? No, I'm just kidding. We say hi now to Colleen. Johnny, you got it, but you didn't get it, so put that man down as a right answer. This is Colleen. Hi, Colleen.

What's going on? Hi, hi, hi. Will Johnny know what the main ingredient in pesto is, yes or no? Pesto, no. Johnny's been cooking more He moved in with his girlfriend And I believe he does cook a few times

In the week And I know you usually make yourself that boy kibble Which is like ground beef It's the only thing I know how to make But do you know what the main ingredient in pesto is She says you will not know Please please not know Do not know

Pesto's green I know it goes on top of food Not inside of food And it's not spicy It's green and it might be Italian. So that's all I got. I don't know what it actually is.

You don't know what the green is in pesto? It's not a leaf or anything. It's probably like from like a... Damn, what the hell is pesto actually? Oh, it's a cheese. Is it a cheese too? It's also just cream cheese. The whole...

Is it a cheese? It's cheesecake cheese. Yeah. The answer to every question is cream cheese. Johnny, really? You think pesto's a cheese? I don't buy pesto. I don't go out on my way to like get pesto.

Have you had pesto? Probably, but I just ate it. I don't even know what it was. And you think it's green, but it couldn't possibly be a leaf. Oh, is it white? Maybe it's white? Okay. No, actually.

We're moving further away from the right answer. All right, Colleen, hold on. You're correct. It's made of a leaf. Oh, damn it. I just said it. The leaf is green, and it's basil. Oh, I have that plant in my windowsill.

Everyone does, and it's dying. That's why I asked the question. Yeah, mine's dying, too. You talked about the fact you had a basil plant. I figured at least you'd get that right, but no, you did not. I told you I had a basil plant. Yeah, you were all excited about it. You said you're adulting because you got yourself a basil plant.

Yeah, it was $5 at Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's makes it possible for us all to feel like adults. We're going to be a chef. We're going to buy this plant and let it sit there. Starting an herb garden. It's going to slowly die and fly. I'll clip it once and then let it die. Sabrina, are you ready for Johnny Doesn't Know Ingredients?

Yes, I'm ready. All right. Johnny, what is the main ingredient in quiche? Will Johnny know this, yes or no? I'm going to say he knows. He knows. Yeah. Johnny, she's got confidence in you.

This is Sabrina. She thinks you will know. Okay, I think I do actually know this because I heard Kanye shout it in a song. He's like, this ain't cheddar, it's quiche. And then the song starts. You're going to cheese for a third time? Well, hold on. Why not?

It's a theme. It actually is a theme. Let him cook. Hold on, he's cooking, Allie. Yeah. I heard Kanye say it in a song. He's like, this ain't cheddar, it's quiche. And quiche has got to be like an upgraded level of cheese.

Like it's a fancy type of cheese. He's like three. Fancy cheese. Oh, no. She said, oh, no. Sabrina, sorry about that. I appreciate you playing the game. You thought Johnny would know.

He did not know. I'm shocked that Johnny didn't know. It's just based on, I mean, obviously. History of the show. Vanessa knows the answer. Oh, that's right. This is where the origin of. Do we have her saying that?

Of course. It's one of our most favorite. Because she said quiche. Remember, she couldn't pronounce it? But forget about the quiche part. I mean, the answer, the reason that she said our famous eggs clip. Is because that was the answer. is because of quiche.

Oh, it's an egg dish? It's eggs. Oh, dude, you guys are so fancy. How do you know what quiche is and I don't know what quiche is? The fact that we got eggs, Vanessa's eggs was from a question that she asked the gay people during Pride

about quiche, because gays love quiche. I couldn't understand her, what she was saying, probably. Hey. All right, well, we move on. She's powered down. Say hi to Ryan now. Let's see, two people have predicted correctly.

Johnny, will Johnny know what plant makes tequila? Yes or no? No. No. Okay, Ryan. No. Ryan with a strong no. Johnny, what plant makes tequila?

Oh, it's agave. Wow. You knew that from our buddy Suave Agave? No, because I'm Mexican. Oh, okay. All right. Well, you don't know a lot of other things about Mexico. We've tested that before.

This is the final question now, and then we will move on. So, sorry, buddy. You got that wrong, because Johnny got it right. and we say hi to, let's give Adam in Riverside a chance. Hey, Adam in Riverside, good morning. Welcome to KROQ. Hi. What's up?

Hi, hi. All right. Will Johnny know what the main ingredient, should we do tofu or hummus, Allie? Which one do you think Johnny will have more trouble with? Let's do tofu. Johnny, main ingredient in tofu. God damn it.

I was hoping you'd say hummus. Yeah, I think you know hummus. I love hummus. It's beans. You love beans. It's Greek. Love Greeks. What was the question?

What is tofu? Yeah, what is tofu made from? The main ingredient of tofu. It's Japanese. It's the big white cube that's in my ramen soup. Yep. You've identified tofu. I've identified it.

I have seen it before. I've eaten it. It is good and squishy. What's it made out of? You know what it kind of looks like. Yeah, it's a white cube. It does actually look like cheese. What is it?

Oh, is it cheese again? Is that where we're going again? Is it cheese? God damn it. If this is cheese, again. Our new game is a cheese. New show. Yeah.

Johnny, you're going to go with cheese? Damn, that's a stupid answer, but it sounds smart, though, too. It sounds like it could be cheese. It doesn't. It's not cheese. I wouldn't worry about that. All right. Let's go with a type of egg, because it is squishy like an egg.

We're going to go back to egg. Good job, Adam. That is not right. It says soybean. Soybeans. More beans. What the hell is soybean? Beans.

But it's white. Soybeans. You can't be a bean in white. All right, Allie, only two people predicted correctly. Mikey, Colleen. Who's winning these tickets we have right now? All right, congrats to Colleen. Hey, Colleen, congratulations.

You're a big winner. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. I don't think you'll be that excited. I feel like we're giving away now, but it's not that good. Is it universal? What did we give you? Do you know?

No. Oh, it's universal. Oh, we are doing universal. Oh, cool. You just got yourself four tickets to Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights. Congratulations. You're very welcome. Oh, my gosh.

Okay. Thank you. You sound like she's dying over there. I've never made a woman make these noises. Hold on one second. Congratulations. We've got to take a break. We'll be back in a moment with more show and more banger busts.

Whatever song you want to hear next will be coming on to KROQ. Let us know on the text line, 800-520-1067. KROQ. That's KROQ. We are Klein Ellie's show. You like that one, huh, Vanessa? Oh, my God. I was jamming, singing my heart out.

It's not jams. It's the banger bus. Get it straight. Banging. That's right. She's back there banging. You were banging? She was banging.

Okay, stop. Next request. This was on the text line. It's a banger. This is an inside show banger. If there's songs you need to hear, it's the banger bus rolling you into your holiday weekend. And in just a moment, we will find out if Omar's favorite phrase of pack your patience is still a real thing. In fact, Ali is so concerned about not being able to pack her patience that she wants to hightail it out of here and hit the road because she's got to drive north about seven hours.

She's afraid it's going to take her far too long To get there So she wants to go ahead and beat the holiday trial But you didn't realize because you didn't listen to the pros That you should have left yesterday And you're already way too late And now you're screwed But I'm counting on people having already left yesterday

And already left now So that all the people who are trying to beat the suckers Now I am the non-sucker Oh you're one of the suckers And you'll be happy to know that Omar's favorite phrase Is still very much alive and well in 2026 If you are traveling over the Labor Day weekend You'll want to pack your patience

He couldn't even wait to get it out He did that thing that Jake does When he's got a really good joke he thinks he's about to make And he trips over his own words If you are traveling over the Labor Day weekend You'll want to pack your patience And maybe bring a little extra cash in your wallet AAA says

I'm not as catchy with the extra part of it But that's what the guy's saying because it's going to be bad The national average for regular gas Standing right now at $4.14 a gallon That's 95 cents higher than a year ago long distance truckers feeling the pinch even more the average for a gallon of diesel fuel at five dollars 78 cents a gallon prices have gone up rather dramatically this week so ali's got that to look forward to you can't you got to be taking the subaru you're not taking the the electric right

gotta take the subi yeah the subi's for yeah it's gonna cost a dyke mobile that's right she's gonna load up that dyke mobile and head up north so if you see ali masturbating on the freeway just know that a lot of softball equipment she's trying to beat the traffic please let me in i'm cutting you All right, get out of here. Go have a good weekend. Oh, you're leaving? Typical Allie, not here on a Friday, right? Guys, so typical.

This is the next request, and it is by our very own Jake the Nerd. This was one of the requests that came through. It's a banger bust. Not necessarily a banger, but have a good weekend. All right, and here it is. Hey, it's Jake from Client Alley Show. There's one thing that you need to know. I lost over 30 pounds with Lasara.com.

I used to be fat, but now I'm a bum. Just have to remember Lasara Lose more pounds than triple my chihuahua L-A-S-A-R-A is how you spell it I'm doing so well that they ask me to sell it Remember this if you want to win Lasara.com, promo code Jake10 I'll know you forget, so I'll tell you again

Lasara.com, promo code Jake10 Looks so good that you'll call your mom L-A-S-A-R-A.com I'll know you forget, so I'll tell you again Lasara.com Promo code Jake10 Go there now And lose your double chin

Lasara.com Promo code Jake10 For 10% off Your entire treatment plan Get there now For your weight loss stand Yeah Uh-huh

Lasara.com That's a banger right there That's pretty good We've got some time left Lasara.com L-A-S-A-R-A.com Promo code Jake10 No longer a client

But thank you anyway Jake for that banger You're welcome Just get into your ADD news In a brand new hour the show will officially begin. Yes, we come bearing gifts today. It is Friday. We are live at 800-520-1067 if you

need us. Hi, I'm so glad you guys had the endless summer I don't know, fest. That's right. You only said it a thousand times and now it's over. I don't know, fest. A lot of people were saying happy clam slam. Others were saying happy kegger

regardless. How's the keg stand, by the way? There was a lot of issues, legal issues with different things, Omar. We can't get into all of them now. Oh, no. I'd say half of the stuff we wanted to do, we couldn't. Other stuff, we had good and bad surprises that took place. They were unloading the kegs, and we were like, okay, now it's our chance. But it's the hotel's kegs, and they were like, don't you do a keg stand on this.

Well, the issue became that once a keg stand is being done, then they cannot keep track of exactly how much alcohol was consumed, which means their liquor license is at risk. Meanwhile, what happened was, this was our slight variation, A guy was wheeling a keg by. We were going through kegs pretty quickly yesterday. And a guy was wheeling a keg by to replace it. And Vanessa hopped on and rode the keg.

And she goes, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And I said, that's not really it. But okay, we'll count that. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. People seem to think that there is a hurricane of common in Southern California. This is so bipolar.

Ridiculous. Every day they go, it's nothing. It's just a tropical storm. Then they go hurricane. Then they go maybe get a little drizzle. Then they go brace for the hurricane that's going to hit. It's like every time I look at it, it's something different. Headlines include light rain expected this weekend.

Oh, man. And race against time to build defenses as hurricane barrels off California. It's crazy. He's exactly right. They're the two biggest extremes of weather. And I have no idea what to expect. So the hurricane is, if she did hit, which she's not going to, but her name is Marie. She was just upgraded to a hurricane from a tropical storm.

Everyone loves a glow up. There are actually three hurricanes in the Pacific right now, and they call that a triple threat. Just like me. No one's called you that. I called myself that in high school. Because of that stupid signature on your email? No, because I can sing, dance, and act. Abby is the F-word.

That's right. That's what your email signature should say. is the F word. But Marie is hundreds of miles away off the coast of Mexico. She likely will not hit California. And the worst that we will get is some big waves that might have some flooding involved with that

and then a little bit of rain. But if you still want to say that you survived a hurricane, I guess you could hunker down and prepare accordingly. Yeah, I mean the idea that the hurricane is a coming and we don't get a lot of those here, so it's exciting. Everyone thinks, oh my gosh, like this rare moment that, I mean, I don't know

if it's ever happened that we've had, like, a real hurricane in California. But didn't they, like, touch, one touchdown or was that a tornado? The one that happened in Compton. That was a tornado

that hit Compton. Oh, that was a tornado. Yeah, that's going to be a great horror movie, Tornadoes in Compton. Oh, yeah. But for the time being, this hurricane,

I did have a neighbor that had put a message up on the neighborhood chat that said, is anyone else going to bring in their outdoor furniture? Which I thought was... That's how you prepare

for a hurricane. Which I thought was the most hilarious thing to say. So just have your living room full of outdoor furniture. And then someone else said, It's not even going to rain here. What are you talking about?

Yeah, I don't even think. I think that they said there's a 50-50 chance of a half an inch of rain. All right. Like, that's not anything. Right. Most places in the world, that would not even make the news. But here, it's a big story. Well, and it also depends on what we've had in the past, right?

Like, when we were getting our first heat wave, it was like, heat wave, heat wave, everyone prepare for the heat wave. And then after, like, the 17th heat wave, no one cared anymore. Now that there's rain, it's like the other big story. Okay, so this weekend is a more traditional weekend for travel, obviously. But rich people are saying that is a rookie move. Do not travel during the summer. Summer is for suckers. This year, if you want to really be in the know, you're going to do a fallcation.

For most Americans, this coming Labor Day means the end of the prime vacation season. But for the wealthy, it's just the beginning. The latest trend in luxury travel is called the fallcation. Well, he's for September and October up 50% from last year. That's according to Virtuoso. November up even more, sales up 71%. Fall is now considered the best time to visit the luxury hotspots in Europe, especially now that Europe is hotter and a lot more crowded in the summer.

So people want to avoid, hey, I'm on spookation. Gonna book a trip to a haunted destination. Let's all say. I mean, spookation is pretty stupid sounding. Spookation sounded even dumber. when you said that, but that's technically what Allie was saying

was you plan a fall scary-themed vacation called the Spookation. You're not even going to play the rest of it? It's like 30 seconds, like 20 minutes. Ooh.

Triple threat. Oh, man. That's a threat against my ears for sure. Yeah, but I mean, it makes sense when you think about it because everyone's traveling

during the summer so the lines are really long and the hotels are really expensive and then you think, oh, it's fall, everyone kind of hunkers down and gets ready

for the holidays, but then a lot of people are going, hey, in October, in November, the hotels and the flights aren't as expensive and the lines aren't as long, so why not travel now? But you just said the super rich are having

the falcation. So why would the super rich care about the price? Because they want to have a luxurious vacation where they don't have to wait in lines. So it's the lines, not the cost. It's more about the crowdedness. Because I do get annoyed when people will say things. Because for us, you know, it's like maybe we take a vacation around the

4th of July or around Christmas. That's kind of when we have all... That's when everybody else... And that's when it's annoying because you know everything is jacked up, airfare is expensive, hotels are expensive because they know that the general public, that's when we have to go. And then there's the people that quote, make their own schedule. And they just go, yeah, we're going to take a trip. We're going to take two

weeks in October. But say you went on that cool wedding invite that you were invited to, to go to Ireland, right? That would be in November when nobody else, quote, nobody else is going to be traveling. What a great time to go and no one's expecting it. Except it's close enough to Thanksgiving that things still suck.

They figured out a way to make it just close enough. The first week of November is really the time to travel. Yeah, that's the only time you can do it. And then apparently it is Jackie the Bald Eagle Day. There is a new bill that was passed, or is a new resolution, I guess, honoring Jackie. And today is California Wildlife Day. And it is the new day in Jackie's memory. And it highlights the significance of the bald eagle in general.

But, of course, everyone will celebrate Jackie specifically. And then somebody in some chat room said, let's all wear purple to honor Jackie. That's for not bullying homos or something. Isn't that what purple's for? Jake's the expert on purple. Are you wearing purple today, Jake? I am. I'm wearing a purple hat.

Yeah, there you go. He's honoring Jackie the bald eagle. Oh, thanks, Jackie. Color of kings. Thank you for your service, Jackie. All right, we will get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. And if you need us, the phones, the text line, everything's open now for you. It's Friday.

We are here and in the flesh at 800-520-1067. and get your bangers ready because the banger boss will be rolling through the KROQ Studios.