Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- Most/Least Fun, Sand Dangers and MORE

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Yeah, Klein Alley Show.

Back live and direct. Thick neck and long neck. The greatest tag team since the superpowers. Oh, yeah. Dig it. Rock them panty lines. Yeah. It's Klein Alley Show.

Low 6.7. KROQFM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world-famous K-Rock. Good morning. Just after 9 o'clock, we promised you Disneyland tickets,

so let's go ahead and do that. 9, noon, 3, and 6. Set your reminders. Four tickets. Let's go. You didn't plan anything this summer? You find summer's getting away from you already? Let's get you to the happiest place on Earth,

some Disneyland, and we say good morning. Yay. The 20th caller puts us in Downey. Is this Charlie? This is Charlie. You and three friends and or relatives and or children and or potential lovers will be going to Disneyland. The choice is yours. Four tickets.

Congratulations. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. You are very welcome. Will you take all of your potential lovers? Basically. I mean, why wouldn't I, right?

I get it. Make that happiest place a little happier. Well, enjoy. A little magic. Yeah. Okay. Well, we were just making jokes, but apparently Charlie's got some plans. Damn.

All right. Hold on, Charlie. Love that. Hang tight. Get her those tickets immediately. Charlie, god damn. God damn, Charlie. Man.

You know, we had that caller last week. I think it was the mom tender who wanted to inform us all because we weren't sure if that was the person that was Jake's, quote, succulent girlfriend. She said a quote on our show. She said, I have never been intimate with Jake. Since then now, we've gotten some shirts. We should post those on our Instagram. I'll pull it.

Oh, we did. Oh, we did already? Oh, good. And didn't even tag me. There's three options to pick from. I'm curious as to which one. We're going to print a bunch of them for everyone who's never been intimate with Jake, which is most people. We got to decide what style we want to go with, and then we're going to print a bunch of them up.

It'll be our next limited edition merch drop. I don't see them up here. Hold on. There's one of them has a sketch of Jake on it. Omar, have you seen these yet or no? I have not, no. I'm curious as to which one. Vanessa, resend these to the group.

I'd like the audience to decide, though, which ones they'd be most likely to wear. This is only for people that have never been intimate with Jake, which means that most of the population will be able to wear these shirts. All but two people can wear it. Yeah, everyone can wear the shirt proudly. Anyone I see in those shirts. And the shirt just says on it, I have never been intimate with Jake, which is such a funny piece of merch for our show. I mean, it's funny anyway. It's just funny regardless.

It's just funny regardless of whether or not you know the show. Yeah, maybe you know a different Jake in your life that you're also proud you've never been intimate with. Maybe your husband is Jake and you can still wear it. Yeah, I mean, there's so many funny ways that you can wear this shirt. Yeah, look at these shirts. These are great. Ali's showing them on the YouTube right now. These ones are just the prototype shirts.

And I like the... And we make the real ones. Yeah, there's one that actually has a drawing of Jake as well. A drawing of Jake and his dog. Jake, do you have a favorite? I've never been intimate with Jake's shirt. No, I hate them all equally. You got to catch them all.

Yeah. God damn. I mean, they're all pretty great, though. I don't know if there's one that I like more than the others. I mean, I like the standard black shirt with white print. Just simple? Just simple. I have never been intimate with Jake.

Yeah. And think about so many people that we posted, I guess, something. I did see something that went up with a lot of DMs from people that were going, get me that immediately. It's going to be free. We're not charging for them. There's one that's kind of like jailhouse font. Yeah, I like that one, too.

Anyway, you can see it. We're posting them up on our Instagram now. Find one you don't like. I think they're all great. I mean, I should make them all. They're all great for different reasons. Is there one that you don't like? Jake hates them all

I think they're fantastic And this was a quote From one of our listeners That wanted to inform us Wanted to call And let us know That she has never Been intimate with Jake

You can also Would it make you feel better If we also got I have been intimate With Jake shirts But we only made two of them In extra large God damn it

We only have two Two of them only For the two people That can wear it And tarp size Tarp size Well when we get back Jake believes

He had the worst day ever It might be today And he will explain three reasons why he had a worse day than any of you over the past week. And we'll come back with that after this fitting song called Pain on K-Rock. We've all had bad days before. Seems like my reins and pores started bad. I think we determined on the show that if your day is okay by 838, then potentially you're going to have a decent day. But if things start to fall apart earlier in the morning, it's probably going to go downhill from there.

Jake claims that one of the days while we were away, he had a terrible day. And I feel bad, Jake, because I know that... We couldn't be there to make fun of you. Yeah. Wish we were live so we could have made fun of your terrible day. But now we have to do it after the fact and bring it all up again. No, I feel bad because I know one of the things that you did this past week is one of your favorite days of the year. And that's where you get into an inner tube and you sit in a river by yourself and you float down with a little floating keg of beer or something, whatever you do.

I don't know what your whole trend is. I know you've talked about it. I'll tune you out. Yeah, thanks for listening. You didn't see his anniversary post? No. Of what? Of the float.

You didn't do it again this year? No, I did. Oh. No, I don't follow Jake. 20 years in a row of doing my float. Oh, it's been 20 years he's been doing that thing? Over. Jesus.

20 years of floating. Do you always seek a random stranger to do it with? It's not a random stranger. I try to find someone who'll go with me, but there have been times where I've gone completely by myself, and it sucks. And how many times have you gone by yourself? Oh, most of the time.

Damn. But listen, he thinks it's like... But you have to do it, right? You have to. If you don't do it. I mean, it's great when you're out there. Doing it by yourself and walking back to the car by yourself sucks. You know how, like, Jake can't stop him?

Well, why do you keep doing it? But here's the thing, Omar. You know how Jake is... This is why we say Jake's on the tism big time. Right, right. Because if I say Disneyland, he can't not say, like... Right. And if anyone mentions beans on the show,

So a guy yells like, you know, you can't just say beans in conversation and move on without Jake yelling in the background. Sounds about beans. So it's one of these things where. Something about beans. You know what it is. You don't know what it is because you're just, we're just trying to have a conversation and you're yelling in the background. Jake Shack Beans. I do like beans.

So. There it is. So when he goes on this river thing every year, it's like he has to do it. Otherwise, he'll break. Yeah. So he goes up there, and he sits in a car, and he parks on the side of the road somewhere, weird place. And the one hour of it is enjoyable, but everything leading up is terrible? No, the whole flow itself is great.

The parking, if you have to walk by yourself, that sucks. The trail down sucks, too, because it looks like no one used it for a whole year. I've heard a lot more words sucks than good. The float's great Convincing people to go with you sucks But the float's great I should get a shirt that says I've never gone tubing with Jake Never floated with Jake

We need two billion of those So you did it again this year And that is usually your quote favorite day of the year My favorite summertime thing Is to float that river And that's cool because you've got to sting And then how quickly after that moment happened Did you have your worst day ever

Two days So what were the things that happened then all in one day The first thing that happened is that I had to fly back to L.A., and I hate traveling. We talked about this. I hate flying, especially to a busy airport like SeaTac. It's just a pain in my ass, the whole thing. Sucks. I think it literally is, right, because you nervous crap the whole time?

Yeah, I got to get there way early so my anxiety is low so I don't get all crazy nervous and use the bathroom more than I already have to do. But you get to board the plane. You're the first one on the plane. You get on board the plane before the pilots, don't you, because of your crap card? I get on board first, yes, but I still have to go through security and all that other stuff. I still have to go through, like, ticketing first to get my service dog registered, all that stuff. Show them you can get your crap card certified.

Yeah, I get crap card certified. I've seen Jake, I'm not kidding, boarding a plane before where the pilots were about to board. They're holding up their pilot, and Jake has moved them out of the way. Red carpet treatment, brown carpet. He goes, I've seen him move pilots out of the way and go, crap card coming through. And these pilots are like, what is that? It's like before the maintenance car. It's like before the safety checks.

Jake wants to be the first guy on that plane. Like the last person steps off, Jake steps on. Yeah, because that makes you feel the more time you can settle, the less likely you are to explode, right? Yeah, exactly. You're sitting on the plane for so long. So first thing, the day was bad because it was a travel day. Sure. And then I get in through security, I get to the bar, and I get a text from the succulent girlfriend saying that basically she's going to get back with her ex.

Oh, damn. So this was before we left. She was kind of soft breaking it off with you where she said that she didn't really want to keep traveling to see you and that if you weren't on board, she wasn't on board because she likes you too much. And now she likes you so much that she's going to get back with her ex-boyfriend. Yes. And that's and I was like, I was just kind of bummed out because I thought I was going to be able to see her when I got back. And then I got to the airport bar and they didn't have a menu. All they had was a QR code thing to scan when I couldn't get that to work.

and then if I get that to work and I order a beer we don't have that beer and then I order a different beer and we don't have that beer either so I finally got a beer listen, at some point it's you is the problem because this poor guy at the bar is just trying to serve Bud Lights and Jake's going Flava Nobbles

sorry we don't have that one sir he's a Budweiser guy too, he can just do a regular Budweiser but what did you try to get because I've been also finally settled on a Corona but Jake, how many times have we been at bars where you've asked a lot of stupid questions about beer Whatever.

It's on their goddamn menu. You should have it. Do you have pictures? Anyways, I'm sitting there having my beer. I'm on Instagram. I see that the concert I had that night got canceled. Oh. Lack of attendance?

What was the reason? I had personal reasons. They had to reschedule. But it sucks because I was off the next day, so I was able to go out and party, and it got canceled. Oh. All right, so that's... And then I got on the plane first before the pilots, and I got the middle seat.

Oh, man. Those poor people. It sucks for those people on both sides of you. They had the worst day ever. And the first guy on who sits next to me is one of those over-talkers. He just has to tell me a story of his whole life. Oh, God. So he talks the whole time?

Yeah. Oh, that is the worst. I had to pretend to care, and then I didn't want to put on my music to be rude. It sucks, too, because if you even have a moment of silence, you're like, maybe it's ending. Maybe they're done. Maybe they're done talking. Step up. They brought up another story.

Yeah, the worst is... Like, you start a song, you have to pause it right away because you start talking again. Or trying to read or something. Yeah, usually you do that, like, thing where you dismiss the talker by putting on that. They go, all right, well, it was nice chatting. And then you literally very loudly put your headphones on. Very clearly, you're putting your headphones on. And they'll just tap you and keep on going.

And they're probably a nervous flyer, too, though. That's why they're over-talking to you. So then, Jake, you get dumped. This is all before, I mean, this is all before he even takes off. He's been dumped. They don't have his beer. He's got a middle seat. Twice they don't have his beer.

And your show got canceled. Yeah, my concert got canceled. Then you get back to L.A. And then you get to go back to your shack. And then you get to drive five... Were you at LAX? No, I got to fly into Burbank. Yeah, so it's five minutes from your house.

But you got to go to your shack. Yeah, I had to walk home, though. You walked from Burbank Airport to the shack? Uh-huh. Are you still holding the inner tube at this point, or is it gone? He's just sitting, waiting for the current to come and take him from Burbank Airport. I only traveled by tube this week. Why?

Is it still inflated? Oh, Jake, I'm sorry, man. Yeah, that's rough that you had a bad day. Well, it's cool. Well, we got some merch inspired by you that we'll be giving out to listeners soon enough. So that should make you feel good. It doesn't. 3-2-3 is having a bad day because they had to listen to all this.

That's sad. Well, there you got that going for you as well. Yeah. Awesome. So listen, feeling better about yourselves, making fun of us, that's all part of it. And Jake... There's going to be other girls and other shows and other beers. Jake did...

He said he was open to this concept that Ali and Vanessa put together a dating profile for him because he thinks that now he's reached the point of being pretty much undateable. Well, he tried to get back on Facebook dating and he reached the maximum amount of swipes within like 30 minutes. Oh yeah, that's what else I did on my flight. Yeah. I can't even swipe as much as I want. Such a sad warning to get from Facebook.

You're already capped out. Facebook dating. I took the screenshot. It's a true fact. Did any of that match with you? Of all the people you tried to swipe? Oh yeah, I actually got a match and it was a terrible date. I got a message on the GOAT line about Jake and we gotta take a break. This is from his friend.

by the name of flight suit oh he called to say that jake has been hitting on i guess he's been very flirty lately with everybody yeah listen to this message and he's on the rebound hard huh i don't know what's going on but this is this is if jake's doing this out in public he should not be allowed out at all this is a message from jake's real friend hey it's flight suit i was just hanging out with jake we were walking into the ralph supermarket and a lady pushing a supermarket cart full of melons walked by and Jake just looked at her and said, hey, nice melons. And I

braced for impact. I thought it was going to be... I mean, Jay, this poor woman's just trying to buy some produce and Jake's sitting there... It was perfect. It was a perfect setup. She was in a sports bra. She's walking right at me with two watermelons in her cart. I couldn't help it. It was a great setup. I braced for impact. I thought it was going to be trouble.

But then she smiled and said, thank you. Can you imagine that? Why, thank you. Because it was funny. And kept walking. Oh, and kept walking. There's the Jake effect for you. Yeah, give her a shirt. We'll be right back. We have more show to get to after this on Kia.

We have some tickets coming up for you next hour, so you can go see Evanescence this weekend as they return to the Kia Forum. If you win, you will get those tickets. If you lose, we'll force you to go see the live-action Moana. So good tickets if you win and bad tickets if you lose, and that will be coming up later this morning. Hopefully, you've got to put in a little beach time. It's a very popular time of the year to go to the beach

when they're not shut down for fecal or any of the other E. coli issues that are plaguing beaches. I think everybody I know is at a beach. A lot of beach stuff. And, you know, you think about the beach and you think about the thing we've been told to be scared of our entire lives at the beach, and that is sharks, right? I mean, that's the big one, right? It's like, oh, we go to the beach. You've got to be careful.

Sharks are going to get you. Even when I was going up, like I had arrived at the beach and we were putting down the umbrella and I see all these people in the water and they're all facing the ocean, like all turned in one direction. I'm like, what's going on? Shark? You know, because you're like, what is everyone looking at? It can't be a dolphin. It's got to be shark.

There's something that they're saying now is much more dangerous. And none of us are afraid of it at all. In fact, we've all probably done it at least once, twice, maybe a few times. Still do it to this day. And experts are warning everyone. They say it's an annual reminder of this beach tradition is much more deadly than sharks, which everyone freaks out about the sharks because that's the glorious one. And as we're getting close to Shark Week is back and everything.

And, you know, it's been this year. It seems like there has been a lot more reports of sharks seen, you know, off the coast here in Southern California. But they're saying that there's something that is much more deadly and something that none of us are afraid of at all. In fact, we do it all the time. Is it burying somebody in the sand and doing that little mermaid tail? Ah, it's funny you say that. Burying in the sand. Because someone died doing that.

Yeah. They're saying that that is something that we all just laugh at as a fun little thing to do. Like, hey, kids, go dig a hole and get into it. And that's something that no one's ever... There's no scary movie like Jaws about burying your brother in the sand. What a lame movie that would be. But that is the thing that they are now warning everyone, saying that sand is incredibly unstable and that it's happened now.

Sand is unstable. They need to remind us all. Sand is not our friend. Well, if you do too good of a job, it is hard to get out of one of those. Right. Everyone knows, once you start digging... That's a deep asshole, man. Yeah, but once you start digging, Omar...

It is fun. You go out. How far can I go? Right, at this point, I'm pretty sure. And it gets softer. You go far enough until you hit water. Eventually. It's like six feet burial status.

And then people are getting into the hole, and then all of a sudden something shifts, and everything collapses in, and then they're buried alive under sand. What a great incognito way to kill your spouse. I know. It used to be cruise ships. You'd have to take them on a cruise

and push them off the balcony and say they were drinking. Keep drinking, honey. This is for you. I'm going to do the mermaid tail, I promise. It's going to be a great update. You know, one of my most traumatic moments at the beach, as I can recall, was when I was a kid and my cousins not only buried me deep, deep in the sand, they also put a towel over my face and then poured potato chips all over my face and body. So birds come and peck at you. So that birds pecked all over my face and body.

What? They hated you. It was horrible. I was afraid of birds for a long time. Did they say they were doing that or no? So they said, let's have fun, Allie, who wants to be the pretty mermaid? I was like, guys, guys. I'll be a pretty mermaid.

And then they decided to just put you so you couldn't move and cover you with chips. Yeah, that was on my other family's side. Wow, that is cruel. But it was traumatizing. And then I had to get them to get me out because the sand was so heavy on me. I couldn't get it out myself. And that's the point that they're trying to make, all these experts. They go, we have no concept that this, like, oh, it's just fun, castle over there and dig a little mermaid tail over here.

But once you start digging holes and getting into it, the sand will turn on you quick. Thankfully, most of us give up after like three scoops. That's the one benefit is that eventually it feels like work. And then that's the warning that they're putting out. So remember, sharks are friends. Sand is not our friends. Or when the tide all of a sudden, like you're making a sandcastle, you're doing your whole work, and then all of a sudden the tide comes in way farther than you thought it would.

Yeah, it ruins everything. It does ruin everything. It ruined my hole. Hey, pull that clip. Hey, Mominender. I can't. Pull that clip, too. Is this Mo Menider?

This is going to sound like he's been buried in the sky. Hold on. Let me try this again. Hello, is this... Is this Mo Menider? Mom, Mom Denomer? This is Mom Tender, yes. Oh, Mom Tender.

Oh, my God. Hi, Mom Tender. Good morning. Oh, my God. Welcome to KROQ. Hi, good morning. Hi. So, I love the shirts.

My husband didn't think you guys were going to make them, so we made a bet, and now he owes me a new tattoo. Oh, nice. But I do feel a little bad for Jake, so maybe we should make the shirts purple. Oh, would you wear one if it was purple? Jake? Why would I wear one?

Well, you've never been intimate with... I guess you have, probably, a lot. All the time. Yeah, Jake can't wear a shirt. He can wear it ironically. Yeah, Mom Tender, you're the one who inspired these shirts. Yeah, I've never been intimate with Jake t-shirts. You've never been intimate with Jake tattoo?

Would your husband allow you to get that tattoo? Oh, no. I don't put names on me. That's bad luck. Right. Or good luck. Right. Oh, God.

All right. Well, thank you for that. Are you okay with us turning your quote into a shirt? We didn't actually ask you. We're not going to cut you in on any of the royalties, but we're not selling them, so it shouldn't matter, right? Oh, no. As long as I get one of them, then I'm good to go.

Yeah, you'll get one. And maybe my husband won, too. Yeah, I forgot about that. When we went on the air speculating that maybe this is who the succulent girlfriend was, our listener by the name of Momtender, the husband heard and got all upset. They're a listener by the name of Mama Knobber. Right. Yeah, I got them confused.

In a moment, we have an update on the quest for more fun in summer 2026. Funner Summer was guaranteed. There's new research out about how that's going, and we will update you on everything that we've got happening. Plus, who is the most fun and least fun on this show? We vote next, and we'd love your input. 800-520-1067, or you can let us know what you think as we are chatting currently on our YouTube.

Go to KROQ's YouTube, streaming live. A funner summer, forced fun, next on KROQ. KROQ, people are concerned that this will be the least fun summer on record. And they always talk about, you know, more measurable things like temperatures, hottest summer on record, wettest summer on record, whatever. But now they're saying that fun has dried up completely. KNX was doing another story about it this morning, just about how fun is unaffordable now. So you look at, for instance, number of movie theaters, number of bars and restaurants, number of bowling alleys, number of golf courses. Even as golf has become more popular over that period, there are way fewer golf courses.

And what's happened is all of this stuff has just gotten pricier and pricier and pricier. And then you have people, you know, kind of retreating into their phones. The solution might involve people not only forcing themselves to put down the phone and interact with people, but getting companies that provide entertainment to develop it over a wider spectrum and a cheaper cost, in short, making fun affordable. And that may lead to a happier society. And that guy sounds like he knows fun. Oh, yeah.

They can make anything sound boring, can't they? They really can. Sorry, I tuned out. Yeah, it was hard to keep up with that. So fun is clearly now even lower after listening to that. But the reality is this summer we have forced ourselves to have fun because the only way to do it now, you have to force yourself to do it. It's not going to come and find you anymore. And there's a million reasons to not do things because everything is super expensive and annoying.

Well, and I also think that you have to challenge yourself to be fun. And we have challenged ourselves. And I've already had great fun at a water park. Vanessa got drunk at a water park. We're going to go camping in a couple of weekends. So you're kind of forcing yourself. Yeah, it takes some planning, but it's worth it. I'm thinking about shooting to Vegas for my all-nighter.

When? This weekend. I think I'm going to try to shoot it out. I haven't figured it out yet. Right now, I looked at flights were not as expensive as I thought, but I think that the better chance of me pulling the all-nighter is by driving. Yeah, because you go there. I go there, spend the night, and then drive back.

Not have to worry about it. That drive back will be real fun. It's going to suck. It always sucks. But the drive back there. It's the price of fun. That's the price of fun, though. You've got to do it.

But I'm not 100% sure that's going to be the all-nighter. But I know you guys are going to come over for the pool party, I think, in two weeks. We're going to do the pool party. Oh, really? Pool party? That was a kegger. Kegger. That's right.

Kegger, pool. You know what, Jake? The pool's off limits to you, but everyone else can go to the pool. But the question is, once and for all, who is the most and least fun on the show? We've been doing these most least for a while now as we try to figure out who is the most least. We figured out Johnny is the most gay on the show, even though Allie's technically the gayest. We found out that Vanessa is the most dangerous, I think we learned. Dangerous.

We're the most scared about her, the most threatening. I forget. We've done so many of these, it's hard to keep track. So this particular list now, and I think we all have our favorites and our least favorites. Who on the show do you believe is the most fun and the least fun? Should we start with? I think there's a clear winner for most fun. Most fun?

Who's number one on your list? Oh, Vanessa. I agree. She's number one. She just exudes fun. Her attitude is like, yeah, we'll do this. She goes rollerblading. She goes out and she sees World Cup games by herself just because she wants a vibe, you know?

You know, it's interesting because she's number two on my list. I would have had her at number one, but she doesn't as much like to share that fun with us. Right, right. But she has her own fun with friends. So that's why it's one separation away. But any of the audio that Omar plays of Vanessa, like when she's out, quote, having fun. Okay, Dinah. It sounds like just pure, unadulterated fun.

Absolutely. Boobies. That's like the voice of fun right there. She had a man pouring a shot into her mouth at Pride. That's always fun when you're not taking a regular shot. You're the best type of drunk because you're always happy and you're always wanting to dance. You're always wanting to socialize and talk to random people. I believe you've been kicked out of a couple bars, and that means you're really fun.

What? What? What about that time you pooped your pants? I was in the street. You didn't have underwear on. You're already out. See, Vanessa is fun in all of those ways. Plus, she's single, which I think adds to the level of fun.

You can be a certain next level of fun if you're single because you have unlimited options. And you have no responsibility. Right. No kids. There's all these things that I think they slowly chip away at how fun you can be in life. I think she's also location-based the most fun because she's very close to the beach. Right, right, right. But who did you have above Vanessa on your list?

I had her as a clear number one. Mine is a very controversial number one. And I think that the most fun person in theory is Jake. Oh, God. I have Vanessa number one, too. Jake is the bottom of my list. He's my bottom, too. Because he has so many rules to have fun.

You have to do it his way. It'd be so annoying. He goes out every single night. He goes to every show he possibly can. He drinks almost every single day. But he's by himself. He just does these things by himself. This is why I can't trust your guys' lists and stuff.

Because there's no way Jake is the most fun person on this show. He does the most fun things. Yes, he's not fun to be around. but he has the most fun. This guy has designed his life. Going to see G's uncle is not fun. It's warm jizz. He's a yawning man.

It was a good show. He is having fun every single day. I don't think he's having fun. I don't think he is. He's napping every single day. It's because he's part of the spectrum. No, he has to do these things. He's part of the spectrum.

Yeah, he is on the spectrum, high key. It's fun to be on the spectrum. If we're going to vote mostly spectrum, Jake wins. That one, no doubt. That's next week. Let's be honest for a second, Jake. Are you actually having fun doing... Hell yeah.

I have myself at the top, too. He's designed his whole life around having no responsibilities, but going out and doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants. I have Jake at the absolute bottom, bringing up the rear of the fun list for so many reasons. You're at my bottom. I'm at the bottom? Yeah. Of your list?

You've never finished a concert. Oh, Klein's my number two. You've never gone to Disneyland past 5 p.m. Yeah, Klein, you're on top of me, too. You used to be fun with food, but now you're healthy now and eating all this creatine. No, but he's so spontaneous. Yeah. That's what I love about Klein.

And you say, hey, dude, you want to do this? He's like, oh, yeah, let's go. Let's go. He might not be there for the entire thing. Yeah, but then he doesn't go. I will do it. Not with you, Allie, with other people. If there's fun, because you're near the bottom of my list.

You're just above Jake, to be honest, second to the bottom. Why am I not fun? I'm out camping. I'm doing all kinds of fun things. Because you'll take fun things and figure out ways to suck the fun out of them. Why? You'll say like, oh, I heard this place is really cool. Let's bring our own snacks so we don't have to pay for them there.

Yeah, she does cheap out on everything. She cheaps out. I put her on the bottom because she's pregnant. You can't do anything fun. Oh, that's true. You can't water ski. You can't eat deli meat. I can't eat deli meat.

It's just a risk. And I took that risk. That's fun right there. Now she's back to fun again. You've even planned fake trips. Yeah, I plan fake trips. Or if you do plan a trip, something goes wrong. You usually have to cancel or come back early or you miss a flight or your flight changes.

There's always bad things that happen. And even when you plan fun things, you complain about them. Yes, that is true. And to be honest, my idea of fun a lot of times is not even leaving my house. And you're not even that fun around the workplace. You don't really like talking to people. Like Johnny is the most, I was in the middle with Johnny because he's the most fun at work. He likes talking to people.

He's got good vibes. It's just that he doesn't drink or smoke or fly anywhere. Well, that's why Johnny lost points for me. He doesn't do any of the fun, any of the vices. He's got no vices, the kid. How can you have fun? The guy has a sip of alcohol. He goes, I feel dizzy.

Yeah. That's not fun. And then Omar was just under Johnny because I think Omar is very family fun. He planned a very family fun vacation. He can have adult fun, but I've never seen it because I don't. He always. You guys didn't know me 10 years ago. Exactly.

I have Omar. I have to work. I have to provide for my family. Boring, boring. Omar to me is just beneath Vanessa because I do think, yes, his fun has shifted to, quote, family fun now. And he's probably a really fun dad. But I think.

You catch me in the right setting. Oh, man. Forget about it. I think there was one day when we did that Vegas, when we all went to Vegas together with the show, maybe our first trip to Vegas. I think we got 24 hours of fun, Omar. And I think he was like off the rails fun.

But also you guys, I was at the club and then you guys were, I forget where you guys, or I think you guys were already in bed or something. Yeah, you said come see me at the club. Yeah, I was at the club. Yeah, I said Omar up nice on my list because I did see him in that Vegas trip with like a huge case of 805 beers going up to his room.

And I was like, yeah. Yeah, that's Omar. Yeah, Omar's fun. And Omar calls, like, randomly, like, in the middle of the night with his wife. And they're in a hot tub. Like, Ali, get over here. Like, Omar does fun things. Omar knows fun.

So I have him near the top. I have Johnny right there, too. And then the bottom of my list, as I said, is Ali and Jake. Great. That's ridiculous. That's a good list. Yeah. I mean, I think my list is the master.

And I put my, and I could, and I think I float around. I think I could be least fun or I could be most fun. Depending on the. You could be least fun or even leaster fun. That's impossible. It's impossible. I am fun. If you have to say it like that, then you're bad.

I am fun. I am a fun guy. If you're inviting someone from the show. I like queso fresco. If you're inviting someone from the show to do something, I'm not the first person you're thinking of? No, because I don't think you're going to show up. Yeah, okay. Jake will go.

Jake will do anything. I'll bring beers. That's pathetic fun. Jake will go because he's good. And I'll bring drugs. Allie, you're telling me that out of Klein and Jake, you would rather hang with Jake? No, no, no. No, no, no.

Here's your answer right there. Don't speak reason. Because she's the fun. I'm saying Jake is theoretically fun. For the people that like to be around Jake. Theoretical fun? What? What is that?

Put that in a shirt. Theoretically fun. Do I want to be with him all the time? No. Jake is theoretically fun. On paper, Jake is the most fun. We've got to take a break. The fun continues after this, believe it or not.

We'll do the news, a brand new hour of the show, Evanescence, Johnny Doesn't Know, and more coming up KROQ. Good morning. Welcome to your KROQ. We are Clay and Ellie's show. Hi, good morning. DJ Omar Khan over there. Oh, nope, that's not working. Oh, that must mean Jake.

That must mean Jake's here. Hey, Jake. Hey, Jake, you're Crickets. Crickets have introduced you. Oh, yes, it's great. I love it. Let's get into news now, then we can get into a brand new hour of the show. Right now, though, let's do this.

It's your ADD News. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Well, the amount of people wearing soccer jerseys has greatly increased over the past few weeks. I don't know if you've noticed, but a lot of people are getting more invested. Not in Team USA. They sucked. But in the teams that are still left.

What do you mean they sucked? They were great. They lost one to four. I finally got convinced to start watching. Why did I do this? Four games in the World Cup. Isn't that impressive? Vanessa?

I've seen goalies at the third grade level do better goalkeeping than the guy for the U.S. Because of one game? Really? I mean, I don't know much about soccer, but I think it's impressive if they won at least like, you know, three out of the four or whatever. It was the least athletic performance I've ever seen at any level. And I go to T-Ball. It was the moment I was starting to care.

I was like, all right, here we go. I didn't see that game. Losers. I had a U.S. jersey in my cart ready to buy. And then I saw that game and I said, nope, that's not a checkout. It was a total fail. And I blame Vanessa because she got me all caught up in the World Cup fever. It's not just Vanessa.

Everybody's caught up. But we had that catchy USA chant, remember? Whatever. Oh, that's right. USA. It was a terrible chant. We can't even do that right. Terrible chant.

So it's interesting you talk about the goalkeeping because according to a study, so many people are watching the World Cup that they now believe they could probably do that goalkeeper's job or beat the goalkeeper easily. One in four people believe that they could score a World Cup penalty kick with no training. Oh, I can for sure. And if you break it down by generation, Gen Z is by far the most confident. Nearly half of them think they could do it. I'm sure Johnny's one of them.

You think you could probably do a penalty kick with no experience, right, Johnny? Yeah, man, I got a big size 14 foot. I could do it easily. And I feel like as a goalie, you just got to pick a side and hope for the best. Yeah, do a little stutter step. And then they go. It's pretty funny that that's the method. They're like, where am I going to go?

Who am I going to go? Who am I going to go? And that's what decides the winner. The goalie expects the ball to be kicked very hard at them. So they're preparing for that, and they dive aggressively to the left. And some of them just kind of hit it. And some of them trickle in so slowly. But then when the goalie does save the little trickle-in kicks, it looks hilarious

because then it looks like the person who kicked it has zero athletic ability because he kicked it at one mile an hour, rolling slowly to the corner. But I think sometimes they overthink it. You just got to pick a side and kick it. It's mental warfare. And then they have all these stats. The last four times they've given a kick, it's always gone upper left, upper left, upper left. So then they must be thinking, the goalie must know this.

So I'm going to go lower right this time. Well, and it's funny that they pick certain people. They're like, this guy's really good at it. And I'm like, but isn't it all just about picking a side and kicking it? How is anyone better at that than somebody else? Who is the most experienced goalie we could find? I'm sure there's some college goalie we could get that would sit and goal and let us all take a shot and see how many of us could actually make one of those.

Because it's not that far away. I agree. I think I could make a goal easily. It seems very close. I would do a cross-eyed move with my eyes like this. And that goal seems here. And they wouldn't know where I was kicking. You just point to the other direction.

Yeah, I'll go. Or you got to do like a fake kick in one side and then kick the other side. I think it's, I don't think Vanessa would do it because her legs are so little. Yeah, I would. She'd probably fall over. Jake, I would have. Can she kick the ball? No.

I can't kick. Yeah, I would have confidence that three of us would be able to score a goal. I don't think I'm one of them, by the way. Vanessa can't kick. She'll only throw dogs. That's right. She'll throw a dog. Could you drop kick a dog through a hole?

That's what we'll check. A penalty dog kick. Find a goalie, get a puppy for us ASAP. The disgusting ass flower is blooming, which is apparently a big deal. This is that big, rare corpse flower. I thought you were talking about Jake. That has already bloomed and wilted. That one has a 100% chance of blooming every year.

We do oftentimes call Jake, if you're new to the show, the disgusting ass flower. Just if you're a new listener, that's one of his many nicknames. Can't wait for those t-shirts. This is the one that when it blooms, it smells like rotting flesh. It's also not very pretty to look at, but the Huntington Library in San Marino has two of them, and they are blooming at the same time. So a bunch of people are going to be seeing that today. When it blooms, I guess it grows like six inches a day, which is a lot.

If you think about how fast flowers grow, it's not very fast. It, I guess, has so much interest that there is a live stream. Oh, man. And I think the live stream thing is getting way too out of hand. I understand that the bald eagle cam in Big Bear became big, and there's hundreds of thousands of people watching that. But I don't think we need a live stream of a plan. It'll cost them nothing to do it, and a couple of weirdos like Omar will leave it on in the background for a few days. Like, I'm fine seeing a picture and being like, oh, I think there's a fascination, too, with how bad does it smell.

I have to just go there and see. I would think that Jake should stand next to it and do interviews and then ask people what smells worse, the flower or him. I'll take on that flower. It is a pit stop. Hello, flower. Yeah, I mean, I'd love to go Jake versus the ash flower. Speaking of which, did you get massive amounts of explosive diarrhea over the weekend or over the break? There is a rise in a cyclospora infection that is causing severe diarrhea.

And apparently it's a result of some infected produce and it's causing the outbreak. And apparently it's happening all over the country. They've reported the CDC has issued a warning over it. There's been hundreds of confirmed cases nationwide. I have diarrhea. It's causing a lot of restaurants to change their menus because it's mainly produce and lettuce and raspberries and things like that. But they're swapping out ingredients to try to not be that guy about it. You don't want to be the restaurant where you got explosive diarrhea.

You know, there's, I guess, a flex that people have when all they do is eat salads all the time. And it's annoying when you're going out there and you're ordering a pizza and they're like, I'm going to just have a salad. But, like, every once in a while you get these stories and it makes the rest of us feel good. Because I love when they go, the recalled ingredients have been lettuce and raspberries. And I'm like, I am in the clear. Doesn't happen with processed meats. Yeah, that's right. I didn't see jerky on your list, so we're good.

It's funny because I'm not supposed to eat deli meat and stuff. And the reason is because of listeria and botulism and all that crap. But I feel like most of the time I hear about lettuce. Yeah, it's always the thing. It's always lettuce. It's not our beloved turkey. If you have explosive diarrhea, don't worry. We got one of them on our show as well.

It'll pass. It's a theme episode of ADD News as we get into a brand new hour of the show in mere moments.