Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- Musk Maxing, Petty Claims Court and MORE

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Just imagine for a moment you on the beach watching Pearl Jam, Bad Religion, Fontaine's DC, Billy Idol, and more. It's happening at three-day passes to Ohana Fest. We'll be yours if you're the 20th caller right now at 800-520-1067. And if you're waiting around to try to win your way into the endless summer kegger, don't worry, we have tickets for that coming up this hour. and then again at the end of the show. That is happening tomorrow.

This one, however, is happening September 25th through the 27th at Doheny State Beach. And we need you on our phones in moments if you'd like to win your way in. My name's Klein. That is Allie. Hi. DJ Omar Khan over there. Jake the Nerd right there. And Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa taking the calls right now in the back.

This hour on the show, lots to get into, Allie. What do we got? A petty claims court battle happening in a relationship somewhere. A couple's fighting over something that may seem petty, but you will become a jury of their peers and help determine who's right and who's wrong. It's been a while since we've done a petty claims court so excited to meet the couple, find out what it is

they're fighting about and then figure out who is officially going to win and lose. Couldn't be pettier than what I'm fighting about right now. Oh, the couch situation? How to get rid of the old couch. I mean, I know you say that you're too good to just put it on the side of the road and say free

but I'm telling you right now. In my area, that won't happen. There's not enough. I live in an area where there's not a lot of just random And there's not a lot of like if you're driving by, it's because you live in that area. It's not because you're just passing by and going, oh, free couch. Yeah, but free couch on the side of the road. And Jake will tell you because he's a he's a big fan. That's his favorite store for furniture side of the road.

Eventually it will someone will grab it. It may take a while, but eventually free couch side of the road is going to get picked up. Why don't you just put like free couch on Craigslist? Well, that's what I've done. I put it on offer up and my wife was insulted that I even put it on offer up and said, Why would you expect anybody to take this disgusting couch and put it in their home? You tried to charge for it? No, I didn't.

I said free. And you got any offers? I've gotten a few, but it's like college kids that are like, yeah, I'll be over in five minutes. And then I never hear from them. And my wife is going, this thing has stains. It has cat scratches all over it. We had sex on it recently. How could you possibly give this to another person?

I said, that is the magic word free. You don't have to worry about any of that. It's probably some creepy pervert that would like the couch just to know that you had sex on it recently. He's probably listening right now. Please, I want it out of my garage. Take it away. All I want to do is not have to pay to have it taken away. I want it out.

What would they charge to haul that thing away? Like a hundred bucks. So you basically... No, just do a free big item pickup through a cash company. Oh, you're all out. I only get two a year. You've used them already? Mm-hmm.

What'd you waste them on? Ourself. Bulky pickups. On you? Yeah. They moved Allie into her house? They just moved me over one spot. You should get more because you're pregnant.

I just had them pick me up and set me down. Oh, man, what a waste. It's a waste. That's your neighbor. Yeah, maybe you got neighbors that have used their bulky pickups. You think I'm going to take their bulky pickup? Nobody uses them all every year. Allie, I'll tell you what.

I haven't used my bulky pickups yet. If you want to bring the couch to my place. Can I use your bulky pickup? You can use my bulky pickups. Does everyone know this? Does everyone know about the bulky pickup? Yeah. How do you not know?

Literally, this was new info for me. Yeah, two a year. Two bulky pickups a year. Don't blow it. Don't waste it. If you have something big and annoying that you want to get rid of. There's like another number you call a 311 or something. Yeah, and you set it up and they know and you have to tell them what it is and they'll pick it up for you.

And they're all annoyed and stuff, but they do it. Yeah, they get pissed off, but they're like, oh, she wrote it down. They have to take it. Yeah, I have to take it. Sometimes they'll even say things like, you know, there's a special number to call for this. And you're like, yeah, I called the number. 3-1-1, called it. And then they're like, oh, crap.

And they take it. Well, I could also donate it to some kind of charity. But I don't think, I think even the charity would be insulted. Yeah, they wouldn't want that at all. Hey, Angie. Hey, good morning. Good morning. You are the 20th caller.

What are we giving away? Ohana. I know what we're giving Vanessa. I was seeing if she knew. But thank you. Yes, Ohana Fest tickets. Those are yours. Congratulations.

Vanessa knows what's happening around here, and you are going to Ohana Fest. So hold on one second and enjoy the show. All right. What do we have going on this hour? Anyone know? Ohana. That's right. I know.

I know. Go ahead, Allie. What is it? We're going to do a petty claims court. That's right. Petty claims court and more after a Queens of Stone and John K. Rock. I will rarely ever admit that Jake is right because usually he is not. But Jake will never admit when he's wrong.

And in this particular case, I don't want to say he is a trendsetter because I think that if you look at Jake, you would say that is far from the truth. But this is crazy. And I will say it's interesting that it's happening at the exact same time that he's starting a new relationship. Allie, listen to this. The dating game is not for the faint of heart. And apparently, it's also not for faint smells.

Now, Jake is by far the smelliest on the show. And he always claims that his smell is, quote, his natural musk and that, quote, chicks dig it. And you do use, like, oils and stuff like that, but even things that, like, I had Jake's hoodie in my car when it was Coachella, and the whole car, and I was told by my wife, do not bring that in the house, because it will smell up the whole house, and then we won't be able to get the smell out. And she was right. I drove Jake to Big Bear, and immediately upon my return, terminated my lease early so I could get rid of the car that he rode in. That's how terrible the smell was. It's not that it's a garbage smell.

It's just a Jake smell. Yeah, it's just Jake. And some people do like that smell and other people don't. Apparently, we are all wrong and Jake is right. A new trend among teen boys and young men has emerged and it's all a bit on the nose. It's called pheromone maxing. And like all bizarre new ideas, it was, of course, born on TikTok. The theory behind it is that a man's strong, natural musk makes him more sexually attractive.

Is it possible, is it possible in some weird reality that Jake's smell that we all find revolting is actually something that is turning on other women? It highly depends on your initial attraction to the person. Like, don't you get kind of turned on by, do you like your wife's smell? just her person smell but but they're saying that the pheromone smell is more powerful than the actual physical attractiveness and that if you smelled first your dna especially if like they've done these blind uh they've done these speed dating blind dating thing where people just smell a bunch of dirty t-shirts and they try to pick the person that's not a dating show on netflix i don't know but they've done it in real life and then they say that people

that that is actually the most foolproof way to determine if you're going to find like someone that you are actually compatible with is just trusting your nose. Well, that goes back to like animal instinct. Right, of course. Saying, okay,

I'm smelling out my partner. It's not about attractiveness. It's about who I'm being pulled to be with. That's why women used to grow these big bushes, Allie, like you have now because it's supposed to keep in.

It's kind of a half bush. It's to keep that pheromone smell like in a nest of stank so that it's supposed to attract your partner. That's the reality. I worked. i don't know how it's working for the right people but for the wrong people it is not working

so yeah i know you have to count on the fact that you have a good natural smell and there are a lot of people that do but there's a lot of people that don't and they know that they need to be wearing perfume or cologne or they need to be masking their natural smell on a regular basis and in my i'm not i don't consider myself to be a smelly person but i don't shower every single day What? No, she doesn't shower. She's, Ali said it. Even on days she works out, she doesn't shower sometimes.

It depends on how hard the work, if I am a sweaty workout, then yeah, I will. But sometimes I'll just, if I do like strength training without cardio, I don't, I might not sweat that much at all. You may remember the story we talked about years ago, but that they said that if you're not having a lot of sex in your relationship and you have a lot of like glade plugins and a bunch of stuff like masking the natural odors, that that is part of the reason why. because you are basically fooling your body out of getting that pheromone stank. And Jake is saying that his natural must, even though we all are very turned off by it, there are the right people, the people that want to procreate in a very, like, you know, technical scientific term, even though they just want to bang for the night, they're sensing that there's something about Jake's smell that draws them closer.

And this is now a thing. We'll skip over a few of the more nauseating steps, but it involves skipping showers and deodorant before a date to allow one's natural scent to take over. Saying basically that this is now proving that if I cover up with cologne and deodorant, I'm not having any luck. But when I go more natural and I'm letting out all my natural stank, it is working and I'm attracting more people.

Two things. One, do you feel people are covering up for something when they have heavy perfume or cologne? Yeah, always. Secondly, there is a fine line between natural musk and BO. And if you are not wearing deodorant, you are taking that risk. Think about the many heat waves we've had. Maybe at the beginning of the day, it's a cute natural must, but by the end of the day, you just smell. Jake, when you're walking around sniffing pits during the pit stops, do you ever find yourself getting strangely aroused by a certain smell?

You don't know why, but you smell a woman and you go like, there's something about that now I'm into, like that butt sniffer guy? No, I'm not like the butt sniffer guy, if that's what you're asking. No, but, I mean, do you ever find yourself getting a natural musk of someone else and being like, oh. I don't think it's a natural musk, because women don't have musk. Women have musk. Yeah, they do. Women have musk. Not the ones I smell.

Women have, everyone has musk. I guarantee you Moist Choice has a musk. Oh, yeah. Moist Choice is 80% musk. Some even go as far as wearing dirty clothes to really get those pheromones out in the air and hopefully find their perfect match. but doesn't really work the data is inconclusive oh there you have it after all of that no one knows i all i know is i have had this blankie for decades and that is a blankie that i sleep with every night and it smells like me and you've smelled that before i tasted it yeah you put it

in your mouth yeah i lost a bet and i had to eat some of ali's blankie and that thing was gross is that a natural musk that people love uh no not people you you like your own smell right Uncomforted by it. So understand that if you're not having a lot of luck, and Jake is, maybe there's something to it. And I hate to say this about skipping the deodorant in the showers and putting on a dirty shirt, but there is something. And I know that there's something inconclusive about it. I've never had a hot streak. I would never say at any point in my dating life that I have like a hot streak.

But I did have a shirt that I used to think was like a lucky shirt because when I wore it, the first time I wore it out ever when it was new, I went home with someone. And then I wore it again like three weeks later and went home with someone. and I wouldn't wash the shirt because I thought maybe that there was something about I don't want to wash the luck out of the shirt and now I'm thinking back to that

going maybe there was something about the idea that I wasn't washing the shirt and it was... Yeah, but at what point did you realize it was no longer a lucky shirt? The third time I wore it.

Or like... And then every time they're out there. After months and months of it being disgusting and dirty and this is my lucky shirt. Yeah, I'm not washing... And then you turn into Jake.

That's the risk you run. Slippery slope. We're back in a moment with the Petty Claims Court. We need you to be in the jury so go nowhere. We need you after this. And to reward you, we will get you into our Endless Summer Kegger

if you participate in Petty Claims Court, which is next. You'll have a chance to join us tomorrow for the Endless Summer Kegger if you listen to this Petty Claims Court. And when we ask you to vote, you just have to text in who you're voting for. We're going to meet a couple in a moment. They're fighting over something that may seem small, but perhaps something happened in your relationship. And if you're not in a relationship, don't worry.

One day you will be, and this will probably happen there. And if you help us vote and determine who's right, who's wrong, and who wins, then you could get yourself tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger. Vanessa will pick one of the people who votes randomly, one of the phone numbers to text us in, call you back, and invite you. So be ready to vote and listen to this. In the legal system, cases are tried from Supreme Courts to Small Claims Court. But what about stuff that's too small for Small Claims Court?

This is Petty Claims Court. Ah, the hammer of justice, also known as the gavel, also known as the gavel. is in the K-Rock Studios. Was it Gabble said? I believe Gabble was said by Johnny. It may have been a Vanessa thing. Gabble, Gabble. They always fight over whose job it is

to bring in the Gabble, and I had to break it to them. That's not exactly what it's called. But anyway, it's here, so let's meet the couple. Got a wife, got a husband. They've been married for two years, and that's all we know about them.

Matthew, Leslie. Matthew has put in the claim against his wife, which dangerous territory my friend can't go back now you were very brave matthew how you doing your honor uh doing okay uh what is the situation you guys are dealing with in your relationship two-year marriage seems a little early for these problems we've been together for 22 years it took you 20 years to get married uh yeah oh man and you're the one bringing her to Petty Claims Court? And we got married on leap year, so I only get an anniversary

every four years. Wow, that's a great move right there. It's a great move. I thought she was like a real winner. So what is the issue at hand? So I bring my wife to Petty Claims Court today. We made a deal where I wash the clothes,

she puts them away. The worst thing about washing clothes is obviously putting the clothes away, so I took the sweet deal. Sorry, before you move on, are you talking about fold and put away or just put away? Fold and put away. Okay. Yeah, I would agree. That is

the worst part. Really? Yeah. The folding part. Oh, I hate dragging the laundry over to the thing, throwing it in there, doing the cycle, moving it all over. I'd so much rather fold and put away. Which is what she doesn't like. She doesn't like that part either.

Women don't like the part because it's heavy lifting and also you're the one who has to deal with the stanky clothes. If you're the one doing the first part of it, you're dealing with the gross stuff. The second part of it, you're getting clean clothes but it is it's your responsibility to get stains out to separate things properly and things bleed over it's your fault no one separates i'm a guy i just throw it in the washing machine and wash it i'm the same way oh we're separators separators ali's racist so all right uh matthew so the issue is you had a deal that was made when you got married

uh that you would do the first part of it and she would do the second part of it correct correct correct yes so are you saying she's not holding up her end of the deal or what absolutely the The clothes would sit in the basket for maybe three, four days, maybe up until the next washing cycle. And then when she does fold them, she'll fold them and put them on a chair next to the dresser and say, you put them away. And it's like, that was not part of the deal. I don't separate the clothes, her clothes, and be like, here, these are your clothes. You wash them. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. Well, all right. Well, let's bring her on. This is an interesting case here. It seems petty. Sure. Yeah, but this is interesting because I understand saying you put your clothes away because you know how you like them to be put in which drawer.

How do you like them to be put? Yeah. There's not that many options, Charlie. Socks at the top, shirts at the bottom. I will fold, but her clothes, I will do exactly that. I will put them next to the dresser, on top of the dresser, because she needs to know exactly where to put her clothes, in which drawer, where are they stacked. I don't know any of that.

Let's meet the wife right now. Leslie, you have been accused by your husband of two years, even though you've been together for 20, that's just crazy, and only married for two, that you made a deal with him. I don't know if it was a verbal or nonverbal contract or it used to be this way, but he says you are not holding up your end of the bargain. How do you plea?

I plea non-guilty. Actually, the agreement was that how it came about is because I was doing the laundry and I was putting the clothes away. But he kept nagging and complaining at me that I was overloading the laundry when I was washing. So it got to the point that I was like, well, then you wash them, you know? Yeah, well, you feel like it's being criticized, the process. And you say, if you can do it better, then you do it.

So hold on. You used to do all steps. Laundry was just your thing, all parts of it. And then he was complaining enough that you said, all right, you go and handle the first part of it. Yes. Because his grandma originally was like, oh, it takes three loads, you know? It takes three loads of baskets. I was like, oh, that's awesome.

So I would throw one load in. But I'm actually dividing and doing the whole process of, like, color and all that stuff, right? And then now he took over. The color, our clothes look discolored. Sometimes they come out, like, brown and black when it's black T-shirts, you know? Like, they get discolored. Right, because they're not separating. Socks, there's, like, a trail of socks in our backyard.

Well, it seems like he's doing it way wrong if it's in the backyard, but yes. And he says that regardless of how he's doing his part, you have stopped doing your part the right way. Is that true or no? So, in my defense, I was never in agreement of putting the clothes away. It was folding the clothes. So, let's say I do fold the clothes. That's not true. I'll put them in the basket so that way it could be put away.

You know what I mean? So, you're just intercepting. At the end of the day, the clothes are being folded. I'm completing my part of the bargain, just not putting the clothes away. Matthew, is she balling the socks, yes or no? No, we actually got right here on St. Ernick's, we got a bag full of socks. That's her famous thing, put everything in a bag. Those are mismatched socks.

No, they're not. That's her famous thing? Even our kids' clothes, she'll put them on a desk next to the dresser. Or even our younger son is like, why don't you put my clothes away? And then so after a while, you know, they get tossed around because they're kids, you know. Right, of course. Yeah, yeah. They're not in the drawer.

They basically immediately go right back. It's just the cycle starts all over again. Grab this, right back in the basket or the dirty again. I think my kids have had shirts that have been washed nine times before they've even worn them once. Really? It's a real waste of water. Yeah, because if they don't make it in the drawer, then they end up getting, like you said, tossed around. So what's your deal?

Leslie, why are you opposed to putting stuff inside of the drawers? Well, I'm not opposed to it. It's just I feel like, you know, I have a teenager. He's 13. He could do it. He could put his clothes away. I was like, I already got your clothes. Here it is.

And then I have a 9-year-old. And when I was 9, I was putting my clothes away and washing my own clothes. So I'm still being a little bit more lenient to my own children. You know what I mean? And my husband's a grown man. So I figured, you know, he could put his own clothes away, too. I'm doing them already. All right, well, this is getting heated.

Well, I don't think a grown man can put his own clothes away if they've been folded and placed right next to the dresser. But that's not the deal they made. He's not saying that. She's saying that's not the deal. Remember the time, Allie, your wife said, do you remember the time that your wife said, I'll make dinner, but then it was basically you making dinner through her hands?

Like, she asked you all the questions. She didn't really make the dinner, right? I was supervising her making the dinner. yeah and that was considering doing it again right okay great so the point is he thought that there was a deal in place that she would do parts two of the law if he's doing it i agree what he's saying there's two steps to the laundry there's the collecting of the dirty washing the dirty then there's the folding of the clean and putting away the clean it's like a two-step two-step situation yeah she's only doing one of the steps well but the problem though i want to ask about

is he is claiming matthew's claiming that she lets them sit in the basket for multiple days before folding now is that is that true because that's egregious and can also have a wrinkle factor that you can never come back from absolutely up to a week see that that if your job is to fold you need to fold in a timely manner is that what you agree you agreed to fold i i fold i agree to fold and it's folded everything after that i don't worry about it she didn't say what time she would fold within and i think he thought it was implied people are all heated on the text line a lot of people saying i've heard enough get the divorce lawyer up but the reality is is that everyone just says this is one of those solutions where everyone should just do their own laundry do

their own laundry the way you want to do it and it sucks because it doesn't cut your time in half i know you're thinking oh you're only doing your half so it should be the same but it's not no it's a better system especially just all have it baked together yeah all together but this guy's not separating anyway so she doesn't like the way he does the laundry he doesn't like the way that She folds the laundry, so no one's happy with any part of the process. It seems that everyone would like to control the laundry situation and how it's done. So, the fact that he has an opinion about how she does it and vice versa means that they basically split it up, which, again, is not working also. Has he ever ruined something of yours, Leslie?

Is there a shirt of yours ever that you're like, put it on, it got all shrunk because he put it in? Oh, yeah, he doesn't understand sequins or, like, fabric or material. Like, he doesn't understand, like, you're not supposed to dry your bras or, you know. You don't dry bras. That's right. I didn't understand that part. You air dry bras? All bras?

Yeah, if not, then it ruins the whole firm of your cup if you don't have those, like, fancy cup things. Or, like, your wire comes out on the side. Yeah, or those little bra pads end up in weird places. Oh, that's what those are, bra pads. I kept finding these little booby-shaped things in the dryer. I don't know what they were. Yes, it's so annoying.

And then both of them are on one side and not on the other, and you've got to move them all around. I don't know what those things are. Those things are ridiculous. To my defense, Klein, he's only actually doing one part, okay, because I collect the clothes. I pick it up. If I don't pick it up, I'll have my kids pick it up, you know, behind everybody, but I'm the one picking up the clothes.

So you're also- You're delivering them? You're delivering all the dirt. You're saying you're- I'm delivering them. All he has to do is carry the basket to the laundry man and put it in the wash. Well, all right. I think we've heard enough.

Let's get to the voting. Who's got it in control? Ten seconds closing arguments, and then you will determine, as a jury of their peers, There's who wins and who loses this heated battle. It seems petty, but laundry is something that sadly never stops, never ends. Unless you're Jake and you just have a pile of dirty clothes that you let build up for a month and then you go to the laundromat. Most people have to deal with this on a couple times a week basis.

And he's dragging, he's washing, and he's folding, and he's putting away. Matthew, you brought your wife here. You get 10 seconds closing arguments first to go ahead and try to get the jury to vote for you. Go ahead. Yeah, well, I work five days, 12 hours a day, sometimes six. You know, I got to throw that out there. So picking up the clothes could be fine. She can do that.

I do my part. And then, you know, a deal's a deal. Leslie, 10 seconds closing arguments. Go ahead. Okay, well, I'm maintaining the house. And, yeah, there we go. That's all she wants. And the job gets done.

Whether it's on time or not, it gets done. We need your votes right now on the text line. We will determine who wins and who loses. This could be the end for this relationship. Just for voting. It's been a great 22 years. We will hook one of you up with some tickets to the endless summer kegger. 800-520-1067.

It's hard to keep up with all the voting happening right now on the text line. 800-520-1067 for this petty claims court battle that is brewing between Matthew and Leslie. They've been married two years, but together for 20. And there's an issue going on with laundry specifically because I think both of them sound like they're half-assing their own responsibility in the agreement that they made. which a lot of people are pointing out verbal agreements are legally binding in the state of california yeah but it seems that they didn't really agree on the terms because they have differing opinions of what the terms are she said you didn't specify that i need to do them within 24 hours so if i'm waiting a week or three four days i'm still folding them and matthew says

basically he's doing his part by washing the dirty clothes she's not doing her part because she's not folding in a timely manner even though she's supposed to and then she doesn't put them away where they go she just brings them close enough to where they go so it's all messed up People saying that he's not really doing his part because he's not the one going around collecting all the dirty clothes. She's doing that part. He's only doing one piece of the puzzle here. It's like they're both doing half of their job, and as a result, they're both angry with the laundry situation. But it also brings up a bigger conversation.

This is why the text line and the YouTube stream are very heated right now. Because if one person isn't working, are they then expected to do every piece of the puzzle? And if they are, they're going to do it their way. Ain't that marriage, though, Allie? Are you picking up the slack of your partner because they couldn't do it? Yeah, but if my wife is home more than I am and she's doing some of the things that I don't have time to do, I don't think I've earned the right to criticize the way that she's doing it. But you do.

She's doing it. But you do. Well, there are right ways to do things. Right. 323 said this is the oldest tale in the book. No laundry arrangement has ever worked. Well, that's not true, though. There must be ones that have worked successfully.

I mean, at least for the time being until it shifts and someone gets... I mean, I could argue that my wife goes to way more clothes than I do. My laundry every time. My little pile's sad. It's boxers and T-shirts, a couple of socks. Oh, so you feel that you're not responsible because you don't make as much laundry? I don't make as much laundry. Yeah, but your kids are involved, so you don't matter.

Thank you. I've heard that before. Okay. That was in the agreement. Richard, quickly, we've got to get to the ruling in a moment. Go ahead, Richard. Who are you voting for? I think homegirls will win because you shouldn't get brownie points for just dumping the load.

You should actually do everything. Well, they say how you do anything is how you do everything. And if you're half-assed in your laundry, then you're half-assed in everything. But people are torn up. He says he's voting for Leslie, and he's a guy voting for the wife. Meanwhile, we have a woman on the phone. Kimberly, who's your vote for? I vote for the man.

Why? Well, it sounds like the two-part thing should be part of the whole process, and she's only doing one part of the two parts she should be doing. This is why I think their whole system is flawed from the very beginning. They were set up for failure. Rick, go ahead. You're voting, and Allie's been adding these votes up. There's a lot to get through.

What's up? I'm going for Matthew because I have the same problem with my wife, and it's a headache. Are you still married? Yeah, I'm still married. Oh, okay. Yeah. I got the sense that was not happening.

There are so many different votes here. 818, I vote for Matthew. A deal is a deal. And I'm absolutely voting for Matt. You can tell by her tone of voice that she knows she's not holding up her end of the deal. And 714 said, I vote for the wife. Household duties are 24-7, and no, there's no scheduled break. There's no lunch.

It's all the time. So, yes, folding is on the agenda, but it's one of many, many things that are going to happen in due time. Leslie, Matthew, Ali's been tabulating votes. We always accept the first 100, but there's been obviously way more than that. So let's go ahead and give you the verdict. I understand the verdict is final here at Petty Claims Court. Matthew, Leslie, you get that? Yes, sir.

All right. And you will live by the verdict, and whoever decides, I mean, it's a jury of your peers. These are people that didn't know you, but they've heard both your cases. They've got strong opinions. Allie will read the verdict in a moment, and this will potentially alter your relationship forever. All right, here we go. By the way, Leslie wants to point out, this shouldn't matter at this point. It has nothing to do with the case.

But she wants to point out that she's the one who discovered our show, Allie, and got her husband into our show. What? Not even true. Yeah, it's very true. And she said that he wouldn't even be here bringing her to this petty claims court if she didn't tell him to start listening to K-Rock in the mornings. That's unbelievable. So I don't know if that matters at all in this case, but it's something.

Then it's a mistrial. It is. It's going to be like that crazy woman who killed all her kids. It's exactly the same. The stakes are the same. Same case. Jury's all messed up here. Deadlocked.

Mistrial. Never had a mistrial here at a petty claims court. Allie, what is the official ruling? I cannot believe this. This is probably the closest Petty Claims Court we've ever done with 51% of the vote. Matthew has won this edition of Petty Claims Court, but this is just... Gender bias. Yeah, the heat is really, really, really intense.

We didn't even get to Zeke, and we always get to Zeke. Zeke, we'll give you the final words in this case. Hi, Zeke. What's up? I don't even know why she's trying to even get on that in the first place like why she thinks that she could be able to you know like um not do her job like you know I don't know Well, I'll go for you. Hell yeah, Zeke, you're my boy.

Zeke is always on the side of the winners here, and he usually is. Whatever side Zeke falls on is almost always the way the jury votes, and this is no different this case. Yeah, and A18 did have a solution. Maybe since the older kid's 13, give it to them. Give them the task so that you don't have to do it anymore. Fight about it.

Throw them a buck. Hold allowance. That's a whole other subject. Oh, boy. All right. Well, that'll be a future penny. Hey, Matthew, congratulations. You win this round of Petty Claims Court.

Leslie, your punishment will be you will be taking over all steps of the laundry. That's not how long that takes. I should have told you that I do the yard. All right, you guys can continue. If we wanted to make it about sex, I do the yard. About sex? Hold on. You love botany.

Yeah, the last comment was about, oh, you should do your wifely duties. Well, I do the yard. Oh, she does the, quote, man duties, too. Oh, man. She got that green thumb. That's her passion. Is that a sex thing, too? Did sex get brought up into this somehow?

Who brought up sex? I think she's talking about gender or sex. Oh, gender sex. Oh, right. So you're saying you do too many. Oh, no way. You do too much of the man stuff in the relationship. Oh, yeah.

He only does, he says, I work. I don't got to do anything else. No, that's not fair. That's as manly as you get right there, that statement. I bring home the bacon around here. To the moon, Leslie. All right, listen, you guys sound like you're going to have a fun night. Hold on one second.

All right, thank you. Thanks for coming here. That's too bad. That relationship's probably not going to make it, Allie. Yeah, but I'm glad they're trying. The good news is, for everyone who voted, we're going to call one of you during this break and give you the good news.

You'll be coming with us to our endless summer kegger, so thanks for participating in that vote. And we'll come back with more tickets. This time we get you into Ocean Way Festival, so you'll see some killers in Santa Monica and more, and that's after this quick break on KROQ. I'm here at Klein Alley Show, let's find out what's happening in the world, then a brand new hour of the show will begin, and if you're trying to get into the Endless Summer Kegger, and apparently people still are, we have your tickets, so don't worry, I know people are starting to freak out because it's tomorrow, you didn't win your tickets yet, but you'll get in. Sweet divots, guys. I was just reaching out to see if there's any way to still win tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger.

Yes. I wasn't able to win tickets on the online contest. I live right down the street from the event, and I've been trying to get to care of the event for a while now and haven't been able to with my work schedule. And I'm off work this whole week. I believe it. Sounds like you're off work this whole year, sir.

But, yeah, we will try to get you in today. You sound like a go-getter. Right. And I've been looking forward to meeting you guys and celebrating together. And so it'd be really f***ing cool. Thanks, Jake. Thanks, Adam. Jake was too busy having sex last night, apparently, to edit the calls to make sure there wasn't swearing in there.

Yeah, you're welcome, by the way. Apparently, there was effing happening there and effing happening on the goat line, so thank you for that. Anyway, yes, sir, don't worry. I know you're freaking out. Today, tickets all over the place, including some coming up as we kick off a brand-new hour of the show in moments. But first, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

Angel fans have not been happy for a long time. It's tough to root for a team. No, no, angel fan. You said fans. Sorry, fan. Angel fan. The remaining angel fan has not been happy for a long time. Well, a lot of people that I, I don't know a lot of angel fans,

but the ones that I do know have kind of jumped ship or lost hope. Although yesterday was funny because once this news broke, all these people that were closeted angels fans were like, Yeah! Okay, I'll say it. It's true. I have been a fan for a while. I just haven't been able to like the team.

It's so funny how many people I found out. I was like, I thought you were a Dodgers fan. They're like, I kind of was, but I really want to be an Angels fan. Now I can break out the red hat again. Red hats really had a bad few years. So the team is finally being sold to somebody who knows how to run a team, Stan Kroenke. He already owns the Rams, the Nuggets, the Colorado Avalanche, and a few other teams. And the Angels has an estimated value of $4 billion, which seems high.

For reference, the Dodgers is valued at twice that. The current owner has had tons of bad press over the years. If you remember, there was the bribery and the fraud controversies. There was a mismanaging of players. Then the stadium had rodents and possum infestations. There was also a wrongful death suit at one point. And at one point, the owner even said winning wasn't even a top five priority. Ooh.

Dude, what? They should put that. Isn't that what they said? Well, hey, it's a game. It's a sport. What could be the top four things? Holy moly. And wouldn't also on the list be not having possums and rodents in your stadium?

They should put that plaque right there with the players before they run out on the field. That's the thing they see. They tap on the top. Yeah, they tap it on the run out. Not a top priority. Not a top priority. Have a good game. I would imagine if you're the owner, winning's nice, but you probably are thinking to yourself, profitability?

How do we become profitable? Well, yeah, he was already doing bribery and fraud and all that stuff. I don't think winning is his priority. I mean, there's plenty of teams that aren't winning teams, but they sell a lot. I think the Cowboys sell a ton of jerseys every year, and they haven't won anything in a long-ass time. I know, but they're still a favorite, and I don't know if the Angels have ever really been a favorite. Probably. But even Ginger Justin, the redhead of the team.

Well, he has to be. If you're a redhead, naturally. He was an Angels fan, and he said was. Was an Angels fan. That he just left the team. He essentially changed his will. I mean, he was playing for his team. Look, I grew up Washington, at the time, Redskins fan, and then the owner, Daniel Snyder, came in.

He was a terrible owner. He's made a lot of bad decisions. Made you literally hate. It's funny to think, you know, you're a fan of a team. What should the owner matter? You're a fan of the team. And if you're a diehard Dodgers, Lakers, whatever, you've got to think to yourself, am I going to lose my loyalty to the team because the owner sucks?

And you think it's impossible. Or you go through the phases, right, of being a fan of a team. You do in a weird way go through this period where you're like, I don't want to support the team because I don't like the guy at the top and I don't want to be a part of him getting richer. And to be completely honest, I don't think he cares about us at all because he's constantly doing everything he can do to make it a not fun fan experience. and then it does actually eventually kind of make you less of a fan.

Well, it's like the same as having a president that you don't like. Does that mean you hate your country? You know, it's like, you know, do you hate the person running it or do you just hate the thing itself because of the person running it? We used to be able to separate a lot better. Now I think we get caught up in the whole minutia of everything. Right, exactly. All right, let's go to a food fight that is happening among two different companies.

It is a lawsuit over the things that really matter in life. A fight over Uncrustables. An Uncrustable Lawsuit. A sticky legal situation for Trader Joe's based in Monrovia. A judge says a lawsuit can move forward over the sale of its crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If you've seen those in the freezer section, they look exactly like Uncrustables and they taste exactly like Uncrustables. But they're not called Uncrustables because Trader Joe's can't call them that. Smuckers sued Trader Joe's claiming the frozen sandwiches are too similar to its Uncrustables.

woman's mind is blown she's eating one as she speaks wait what is what do they call theirs at Trader Joe's crustless because there's a bunch of knockoffs Costco's got Uncrustables knockoffs I thought there were a lot of knockoffs too I can't recall the name of the Trader Joe's ones

also wants the judge to require Trader Joe's to deliver all products and packaging to smuckers to be destroyed wow give that woman a raise she went through an emotional rollercoaster But that I do not agree with Just because it's too similar

Doesn't mean they should all be destroyed Well this is what Trader Joe's has made Their bread and butter on for years Is finding very popular products out there And then doing their own version of it They're basically doing dupes of these products And a lot of times they actually will make them In the same facilities that make the other products

And then they change the name slightly And they call them you know Trader Meng's or whatever This one's called Crustless Crustless. Crustless peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwiches. That's what they're called. It rolls right off the tongue.

It does roll right off the tongue. That woman had the right reaction. That's right. I actually have had them, and they are not the same. I don't think any of the competitors really measure up to the real Uncrustables. And I was unaware you've never had an Uncrustable. No, no. That's not true.

What? I want to say something that I'm ashamed to admit. Is that what I just said? No, no. I have. For about a year, I thought you had to prepare an Uncrustable by putting it in the toaster. And that's how I was making them for about a year. I thought we have discussed how to properly eat them and make them.

Yes, but I tuned you out. How do you make them? You just leave them out. You just leave them out. That's weird. It has to thaw for like an hour. You put it in your pocket, actually, is the way to really do it. You put it in your pocket.

Well, you don't know how to really do it, clearly. No, I didn't know for a while. I now know. But for a while, I just assumed you take it out, you put it in the toaster. I didn't read. Obviously, I didn't read it. And then I just popped it out. And it was not bad, but it was something like off a little bit about the insides.

So you've never had one properly, you mean? Right. That's correct. But I've had a crustless. Ooh. A crustless. It takes an hour to make one? Well, it is.

It doesn't take an hour. It does require a little waiting. You have to take it out of the freezer and then set it on the counter for like 20 minutes. But they have new ones now that you don't need to do that. Yeah, the new one's right. You can also leave them in. Listen, it's a simple food, guys. We shouldn't be having this kind of conversation.

You can make a sandwich in two minutes. It's not the same, man. It's not the same as Uncrustable. The ratio is so perfect because it's like crimped on the side. You can stuff more of the filling inside without it spilling out. Jake, you've never had an Uncrustable? Or any of the knockoffs? You never had a Crustless?

Nope. A no crust? We need to buy all of them. Yeah, yeah. Let's buy all of them and taste test them, because I bet Uncrustable will win out. Even if you, in a blind taste test, I think Uncrustable would win over the other ones. All the knockoffs. Top priority.

Cancel everything else we had in store for this year. Top priority. Not winning. Yeah, not winning. Top five priority is now moving to taste test all the Uncrustables. The Dolly Parton tributes are still coming in. Fast and Furious, literally. They started getting weird last week with Vin Diesel's tribute of I Will Always Love You.

She has a charisma that... Oh, hold on. That's not her. That's actually him talking about Dolly Parton, but he did an I Will Always Love You tribute that was terrible. I can't find it now, but there's also another tribute happening. A new day, a Dolly Parton day, will be September 25th. This has just passed through California law, and now...

This is just another example of you doing a Dolly Parton tribute and not having the audio. I do have it. It seems to be a theme with you, Allie. It says Vin Diesel Dolly Parton tribute, and it's not him singing, which I was kind of I'm surprised for that. There it is. What are you talking about? I would only be in your way.

Here we go. Yeah. So I go, but I know. Who's he singing this to? The internet. Oh. Each step of the way. Here it comes.

Here it comes. Any time now. Yeah. Wow. Beautiful. Quite a vocal effect that he's added. He put in work. Now, is this more or less offensive than the 20 farms that are contributing to a giant corn maze celebration for Dolly Parton?

20 different farms across the U.S. and Canada are opening Dolly-themed corn mazes designed in tribute. So when you look at it from a drone point of view, you will see Dolly Parton's image in the corn maze. She's lost in her giant breasts, circling this maze for hours. This is going nowhere. I'm not even near the areola yet. Vin Diesel, what are you doing here? All right, we get into a brand new hour of the show in moments, and it should be less stupid than the things you just heard on KROQ,

but no promises.