Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 3- Rob the Blob, 10 Seconds of rage and MORE

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Welcome back to Runners, a show for runners about running. We'll go over all times of all lengths that have ever been run. For some strange reason, I don't know why, but we'll do it anyway. Look, this is an interesting list that just came out. I mean, maybe. They're putting it all in front of you, going, where do you stack up? I'm more confused now than I was when I knew nothing. But I guarantee you that no one here on the show,

could come anywhere close to these records that have been held standing for 20 years. Okay, obviously none of us can break the records. I'm just saying, how close do you think you could come to any of these? Well, Omar just ran a 5K, and he ran the 5K in 30 minutes, over 30 minutes. Right, just over it. Okay, so the world record for that one is 12 minutes, 35.36 seconds. So Omar was way off. Yeah, there's no way.

Even if you were in the best shape of your entire life, how close do you think you'd be? Like, what do you think is your max? A mile? My best, the best I could, if I ever were to run a... Do you think you can run a seven-minute mile if you train? No, no way. Like, the fastest you could ever be. I could be getting chased by a bunch of guys who were trying to have sex with me, and I

couldn't run a seven-minute mile, and that would be terrible. That's a great event. No, that's not it. You should run it. You should start it. We're not doing that event. But anyway, I could imagine. And he's been tackled, and he's being ravaged.

But what an effort from Gavin Klein of the United States. That sounds horrible. If you're the 20th caller, we'll pick you up in a moment. We've got good news to deliver. You'll be heading to go see Weezer right here and then maybe again on the other coast because we've got a road trip happening here at KROQ. It's called KROQ's Road Trip USA. Destination number 8 sends you all the way to Boston,

and you will see Weezer there and get an autographed guitar signed by the band. And it all starts with you winning tickets to see them right here, October 24th at Crypto.com Arena, which is information that you probably don't care about unless your name is Alan from Reseda. Good morning, Alan. Oh, Clive, good morning. You are.

Sweet divots. Sweet divots to you, good sir. You are the 20th caller at this exact moment. Oh, shoot. Let's go. Yes. So enjoy yourself some Weezer. I was not expecting this at all.

I know. Well, most people are not. But congratulations. You made it through the gauntlet. And if you have any questions about running or times or distances, Ali can answer them right now. Yeah, if you win those tickets to Boston, they have the Boston Marathon.

You could be a part of it. Do you want to know the marathon world record? No one cares. Give it to me, Allie. Let's go. Give it to me. Okay, full marathon. The world record is 1 hour, 59 minutes, and 30 seconds.

Woo! Let's go. All right. That's fine. That's fine. I was thinking you should eat your words whenever you said you'd beat that 33-second one. The 33-second one what? I think it was like the 100-meter.

I said it could be nine minutes, sir, and I will eat my words. I will run 100 meters in nine minutes, okay? Just give me a couple weeks to train, but I'll make it happen. Good morning. It's K-Rock with Klein Alley Show. You know, yesterday, Alley, someone asked if they were able to attend our Endless Summer Kegger. We have more tickets coming up later this hour. And they said that they were over 700 pounds.

Do you remember this person we got yesterday? Yes, that person texted in, but we weren't sure if that was real. So they've called and left a message on the GOAT line. It is very real, and they said that they are unable to, well, they would like to attend, I think, but they're not able to because, obviously, transport is difficult. You tell me. Excuse me. I see people, I see trucks on the freeway transporting houses.

We can transport this person to Orange County. Hold on one second. Let me find this message. Jake, you heard this message from this guy. Yeah. You think this is real? It sounded real, right? I think it's real, too.

And usually, you know, my spidey sense is always tingling around here, specifically about people that I think try to tell us stuff because they think it's going to make for good radio. But this guy, I believe to be, listen to this message. You tell me if this guy is over 700 pounds listening to our show. Horse Wiggins, Klein Alley Show. This is Robert, or as my friends call me, Rob the Blob. Rob the Blob. Great nickname. And by the way, I mean, sometimes...

What came first? Right. Did he have the nickname and grew into it? Did he grow into it? His friends were like, just another 100 pounds, we can finally drop this nickname on him. Yeah, right. But Rob the Blob is what this guy goes by. Now, you'll hear he has trouble breathing during the message in the way I would expect

someone who weighs 700 pounds to have trouble breathing. I texted into your program yesterday regarding the fact that I am a proud BBT. that is a big beautiful person so he um he's big and beautiful he is so big that he claims uh that he hasn't i don't think he leaves his house very often but we did say we'd love to have him as our guest at the endless summer kegger i currently wear healthy 762 pounds 62 762 is what he claims currently and i don't think that that seems impossible when there's some sumos that i saw they're like that when we uh when we um had that 420 show and we said we wanted to have uh people that weighed at 420 pounds come we had multiple people showed up that were north of 420 yeah but

double that basically right that's insane how can you walk well i mean if you've seen my 600 pound life in 600 pounds they can barely walk well once again we don't know his height he could be very tall that's true haven't left my mansion my adult life since the doorway is too ignorant to accommodate my body positivity and getting me on my feet requires a floor jack and four adults simultaneously whoa once again i a floor jack what is that and four adults lifting simultaneously so it would be hard to get him there but i think worth it if he's real if he's if he's pulling a joke on us then tell us now rob the blog i love by the way that he's shaming the doorway for not accommodating his big beautiful body well he's right uh board doorways have stayed pretty much

the same size humans have gotten bigger a lot of those houses now are open floor plan for people like rob the blog i don't consider this a negative because i have everything i need in here between my 22 daily door dash deliveries visits from my masseuses therapists girlfriends and personal trainers and most importantly there's no way he has ali this is why i believe this to be a real call. And I'm telling you, I'm pretty good at this, like, now. Yeah, you have a good judge of this. When you hear his breathing, this is the breathing of a man that is

762 pounds. And most importantly, my favorite radio program. Yes, Klein Alley Show is number one in this happy shed. And I want to thank you guys for letting me know it's okay to be different.

And that really is the message of this show. Absolutely. And if you are happy, that is all that matters. Regardless of all of the ridiculousness and the people that accuse us of being a bunch of different things on a regular basis, Allie being racist and homophobic and all that stuff, which is true,

this guy's making a good point, is that we've accepted him, all of him, all 762 pounds of him, for who the hell he is. You've accepted us in our weird ways and we appreciate that, but I mean, I want this guy at our event and I'm thinking that we need to start making moves to make it happen. You remind

me that it's okay to have a relationship with food like the one I have because it isn't substantially different from a client's relationship with gambling, Vanessa's fixation with chicken, Jake's infatuation with Kitty, Omar's drug use, or Ali's love of terrible, terrible women.

So this guy is making a good point, this fat man, that we are all addicted to different things and he just has this unhealthy relationship with food. But, I mean, who among us doesn't have an unhealthy relationship? And also, I would love to get a weekly restaurant recommendation from this guy. You know, if he's doing 22 door dashes every single day, this guy knows every good spot within a 100-mile radius, I bet. Also, you know the idea of, like, whenever you take a group picture, you always want to have someone, like, a little fatter than you in the picture so you look skinny? He would have 762 pounds.

If we could get this guy in all of our pictures, we would look amazing. Also, the event would look way more full. Oh, yeah. If we get this guy in, I think that's it. We're at capacity. And look at you guys now. Number one morning show in the area of Spike Ward and the Blob Shack. Congratulations, by the way.

The Blob Shack? I think he calls his house the Blob Shack. Oh, I thought he was talking about an online chat room that is for blobs. Oh, maybe it is. I don't know. Please call back and leave another message about what is the Blob Shack. So thank you, Klein Alley Show, for making all this possible and for occasionally making me jiggle hard enough

to register on the Richter scale. And hey, I would love to attend your kegger, but Odyssey would need to come knock down a few walls here and then put them up again. We'll do it. I'm telling you right now. So he can't physically leave because he can't get through the door

so he's stuck in his shack. He's being serious. Omar, are you that this guy's real or are you that this is a joke? Man, it's hard to tell. Yeah, it is. But I would love to grease him up and get him out those doors for sure. You have tricks, Omar, taking the hinges off.

The hinge? Yeah. You take the hinge off the roof, man. Yeah, you can figure it out. It's like have a giant come in, take the roof off, lift him out, put it back on. If he's cool with it, we'll figure it out. We can move the shack. I don't think we can figure it out, man.

We have construction workers that listen. If it's about getting this one big man to our party. We have to maybe get him out a window or something. How's there going to be a window that big? We'll make one. Does he live in L.A.? Because his area code shows Massachusetts. What?

We would have to get him across the country? That's even better. Then he'd just rip the shack off its hinges and put it on a truck. Call back and see where he... I think he listens. Or just have him walk through the wall like the Kool-Aid man. Oh, he just shows up? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there he is.

When my girlfriends come. Alright, well, listen. Girlfriends? That part I don't believe, but the other parts I believe. And his trainers? All right, listen, let's figure out if this guy's real. If not, I've been had. But I think he, people think he's real. I'm just saying, there's something about him.

He sounds legitimate. I want to believe this man to be a real man. Man, if he comes to L.A., he'll be on GLP-1s in a heartbeat. That guy will be like 120 pounds. Yeah, because you're right to air one, sir. So much loose skin on Rob the Blob. We got to take a quick break when we get back. Everyone's feeling hot and bothered because of the heat wave,

and we're going to let you go ahead and vent. Let some of the air out of your balloon right now. Ten seconds of rage. We have access to our endless summer kegger. You don't even have to be 700 pounds to get in. You just have to call and rage. Ten seconds, whatever's on your mind. This is like the earthquakes where those little ones will help prevent a big one.

If you've got anything at all that you'd like to vent about, rant about, now's the time to call us. 800-520-1067. We'll get to that next on KROG. Think of this as free therapy because it is hot and it's going to get hotter. The official temperature today and for parts of Southern California is hot as balls, even though, you know, they won't say that on the official. Let's talk about the Doppler. But we all know what the Doppler is, Ali. It's balls.

And it's balls hot outside. And it's going to get hotter. And we're in the middle of this heat wave. It's going to go on for a while now. And Jake, of course, the nerd on the show, has reason why we should all understand why we are feeling more irritable. And people don't understand why it is, but there's just something about, there's actual science behind it. was one of you doubting this yesterday i was talking about this with somebody they're like no that's not a thing well i think that the none of us were listening i tuned you out as well uh

omar were you listening to jake i was not no okay yeah so you were arguing maybe you were maybe you were talking to yourself jake maybe i don't know but high temperatures stress the body alter brain chemistry and disrupt sleep and this phenomenon is called a hot weather effect or heat hypothesis a lot of people have this they're suffering from it now and i think the big part of what he said. The only thing that I kind of tuned him out again there, I'll be honest. I think the thing that he is talking about is when people are hot

and they can't get sleep because they're up all night hot, then it translates the next day to them being grumpy and irritable. This was Vanessa yesterday because the night before, her AC wasn't working and she was up sweating and spraying herself in the face all night. It makes you grumpy again. Then the next day, something that normally

would fly under the radar is not something that's going to bother you, really starts to irk you and then you start having, next thing you know, you're having a fish fight with the guy at the drive-thru. You're just irritable. Everybody's on their period right now. That's what it feels like. Is that really happening, though? I'm not on my period. Okay.

Let's get to it. What? Don't worry about it. It's time now. Can you say something about a period? That's what I heard. Don't worry about a period, Vance. Ten seconds. Ten seconds of rage. It's because we think if you rage for ten seconds,

you let some of the air out of the balloon, you'll feel better instantly. It's a scientific study. that Jake was telling us about. Sometimes that's all you need to do is let a little out. And I don't mind. I'll even start, Allie, because you know how they have all these rules

that you can't have weed stores near schools and you can't have liquor stores near schools? They should make a rule that you cannot put a frozen yogurt place within 200 yards of a school. Dude, those places are chaos. It's not only chaos, but it forces,

it should be treated the same way as a weed store. I watched the parents scramble as they try to block their kids' view. And then all you need is one friend of a friend of a friend who's like, ah, Charlie's going over there. Ice cream. And then you're screwed. You're right in there. You're right in the thick of the chaos. And I believe that that should be treated the same way we've treated these other places that can't be near schools, bars.

They do it on purpose. Of course they do. They're no dummies. Yeah, but they also know that it's one time someone says, hey, let's get ice cream. Then the next day it's on the brain again because it's 3 p.m. And, of course, yesterday you got ice cream. Might as well get it today. Shut it down.

People like me are too weak to say no. Put something near a school the kids don't like, like libraries. Okay? We can walk right by those. No problem. We don't want ice cream, okay? It's just tons of libraries. There's more libraries.

So many. Yeah, that's right. That's why they don't need another one on the outside. I'd like to rage, if I could, about something that just happened to me. I recently ordered a couch. Pretty excited about it. And I got a text from the company saying, good news, there's a status update on your order. I'm saying, great, there's a link here about my delivery date.

I think it's been moved up. I'm all excited. I click on the link, and then it just says order in progress. Order in progress? Yeah. That's not a status update. You're right. That's not a delivery date.

That's no information. I just clicked on something for no effing reason. Wait until you get your third or fourth status update that's still going to be order in progress. Because sometimes they'll do that. A week goes by, you go, here we go, another status update, order in progress, which means nothing. Don't text me about it. Uh, Martin on K-Rock, you have 10 seconds to rage. Go ahead.

Hey, man. First of all, I'm a delivery driver for Amazon, and damn, those vans get hot. They get steamy up in there. And then to top it off, you got all these shirts over here ordering packs and packs of water, running them over there all the way up to their steps. I'm over here sweating balls like crazy and can't even drink a damn beer. All right. Yeah, you can't even take a water.

That's Martin. You're just cursed to bring water to other people while you're sweating your ass off. Remember, whoever rages the best will get themselves instant access to our endless summer kegger. And you'll cool off there as we were hanging out in Newport Beach at the Hyatt. We say hi to Justine. It's time for 10 seconds of rage on K-Rock. Go ahead. Oh, boy.

She's going to blow her opportunity. Justine, in three, two, one. Time wasted. We say hi now to Jordan. You're on KROQ, 805-201-067, 10 seconds of rage. What's up? Yo, sweet biz, guys. But, man, this heat makes no sense at all.

Everything is sticking to everything on me right now, dude. I'm driving the 405 south. Sun's in my face. AC's on. But I can't get anything off me, dude. I'm melting right now. Everything's sticking to everything quiet. Yeah, I understand being upset about car AC.

I feel like they are crapping out. They can't keep up. I agree for some reason. It doesn't work. I think car ACs are getting weaker and weaker. They are. I had mine on for, like, 20 minutes, no change. Is that an electric car thing versus a gas car thing?

I don't know, but it just seems like I even try and do the thing where I can put the A.C. on before I get in the car. It makes no difference. I think the electric car A.C. is whack. It's terrible. It's not good, huh? That's what's going on. Yeah, I need some gas. Like monster truck A.C.

That's what I want right there. I'm going to try to get one of those actual units just hanging out the window, one of those car windows. Or, and they don't know how to distribute it properly either, because if you put it all the way up to the max, then you just have one stream of freezing cold air, like, in your eyeball, and you're hot everywhere else. Hey, Alexander, welcome to KROQ, 10 Seconds of Rage, what's up? Sweet dude, sweet dude, yo, what is the deal with natural deodorant, bro? They all say apply once to feel fresh all day, but it's more like apply all day, and you still keep the flow. I'm in my car all day they gotta fix that

or I'm probably gonna switch to good old aluminum yeah I got the aluminum in my pits baby and I know it's probably not good for me and I feel like I'll eventually be Iron Man or something yeah but we haven't come up with an alternative it just doesn't work and I know Johnny's big into one of these other ones that I think he pays like 20 bucks a stick for

and the stick is like charcoal I don't know what it is it's quote natural but for some reason there's certain people that are not cut out for natural. There are certain people that are aluminum people. And they rhyme with schmake.

They need aluminum. I have natural musk. Well, you need to get some aluminum musk ASAP. Ah. Yeah. The natural stuff doesn't work on you, James.

Wrap you in aluminum foil. Left-sided Victoria, you're on KROQ. Hi, what's up? Hi, sweet David. Ten seconds to raise. So I live in Long Beach. I live in Long Beach, right?

We got the power going out. I can't take my dog out like during the day because it's so hot. So I've got to take him out at night. So meanwhile, he's running around the house, hot laps, going nuts. I've got the kitten now freaking out with the windows open because we've got no A.C. And I've got the kitten trying to jump out the window.

It's nonstop chaos. Well, that's the problem. All these people like to live by the ocean. Most of the year, they've got a good situation going. And a lot of them say, we don't need A.C. They always say that. I don't need A.C. And then you hit a week like this.

You're like, I was wrong. Why? Why don't I have an A.C.? And you know what else pisses me off? Is during the day, of course, it's hot as hell. You try to plan around by walking the dog or going out early or late at night. But then if you go out early, mosquitoes. If you go out late, mosquitoes.

They're bookending all the great times to be outside. I had two coyotes waiting for me this morning as I was getting in my car, leaving the place. I think all of nature is getting too hot, too. So they're just roaming, looking for anything. They're all ornery, too. They almost took me down today. Hey, what's up, Sam? Hey, what's up?

Hey, so I drive a big rig all day, every day, stuck in traffic with no AC. I'm tired of it. If it's bumper-to-bumper traffic, wasn't enough. I have to deal with dripping sweat coming down my face, wiping it from my eyes, going through gears. People cutting me, I'm done with it. Shout out, lot lizards. I didn't realize lot lizards have to deal with so many sweaty truckers that don't have AC. That seems like the most important thing.

They still got to do what they do, but they got to do it with sweaty balls. We got to go over some of these calls we got. Hopefully, you feel a little bit better after raging over the airwaves of KROQ as we give you some Joe. It's called End of Beginning. It's on KROQ or Klein Alley Show. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. We have to move on to something more important involving Allie and her sex life. But let me just quickly say hi to Edwin, who's been waiting on the phone.

He's all pent up with anger. Hi, Edwin. How you doing? I'm doing all right, man. What can we do for you? Man, I work for a major chip company, and we work inside a warehouse. It's humid as F, and we've got to keep working. The managers are all nice and cozy inside with their AC on,

and they keep expecting us to keep working just as hard. What kind of chips do you make? What kind of chips? I mean, is there something I've eaten before? No, we package all the chips for our salespeople out there. They deliver them to 7-Elevens and everything. Oh, man, that's great. Does it rhyme with, like, burritos or onions?

Yep, yep, yep. Those are the ones. Those are good chips. I like those chips. So you're saying it's hot and humid on the floor, and you guys are down there, and all the big bosses are upstairs in their igloos. Yep, yep.

And it's frustrating that you have to pack something delicious that you can't eat. It's like torture. Bring some of those bags of chips with you. We'd love to see you at our Endless Summer Kegger. It's happening on September 3rd with Slightly Stupid, and we'd love to invite you, Edwin, as our guest, all right? Awesome, thank you. Yeah, hold on.

If you could bring enough chips for 1,000, that'd be great. Thank you. Allie is going to be single on Friday night. Well, technically. My wife's going to be out of town. It's my last weekend before the summer ends that I could potentially have a one-night stand, which is my funner summer challenge, which I haven't been able to accomplish. I don't remember all of the things we were supposed to accomplish this summer as a show,

but I know we made it a mission to have a funner summer because fun scores in society were at an all-time low, which is why I pulled the all-nighter in Vegas. Wow, questionable. Not questionable. There was no proof, really, but that's okay. I sent it all to Johnny. I sent him every video of everything I did in Vegas. I never saw anything posted about that.

Well, that's on him not putting it up. I sent them all the, I airdropped all my footage of 2 a.m., 4 a.m., 6 a.m. I was up all night in Vegas. Not having a great time, by the way. You talked to some horny bachelorettes, didn't you? Yeah, but I took mushrooms and didn't have my ATM card, so that didn't go well for me. But then I did through the pool party. We had the backyard kickback, whatever you want to call that.

That was the worst. That was not the worst. It was a lot of fun. On our summer challenge, except for... I did my things, and I believe that Vanessa went to a water park, and she claims she went camping because she lost power in Long Beach the other night. so that counts for her. Omar, I don't know if you've had sex three times in one day yet. I have not.

But you've got another week to make that happen. Well, Klein, you took that upon yourself. I took that. I knocked that out of Omar's. Took that off Omar's list. Proud of myself. And then Allie here. And that's us to go camping still.

No, I camped already. I'm counting that. She technically did it. She's counting it. She did not technically. I had a flashlight. I had to turn on that. You're not accepting that, are you?

I had a flashlight. Jake, by the way, he did get the drugs he has to take, mescaline, but he hasn't taken it yet. Because doing a new drug was something that he was assigned. Allie, you were supposed to do a couple things. I forget what they were. No, I helped Vanessa with getting drunk at a water park. And then the one thing I had to do was this one-night stand because I had landed on the keg party thing. But because my location is so far out, you volunteered to take that one, too.

And we ended up turning it into a party with the listeners, which we're doing on the Friday or the Thursday before Labor Day. Right, exactly. So anyway, the one thing I'll ask you is one-night stand. It just so happens, last weekend she can pull it off. Wife's out of town for two nights. We did have a conversation about threesomes, which didn't go too far. I tried to watch a sexy movie with her about having sex with another couple. Didn't necessarily pan out.

Then we had a conversation about hall passes, which she gave me a hall pass for any celebrity that is in the A to C range. A-list, B-list, and C-list celebrities. So we reached out to quite a few of them. Earlier today, you got your first rejection from an A-lister. Hello, Allison. This is Morgan Freeman. But I'm sure you already knew that. I hear that you have a hall pass to sleep with me this weekend.

Unfortunately, I have eyeballs and just saw you, so it's a strong pass for me. Good luck. So that didn't go well. And then you heard a few moments ago, you know, a more modern-day celebrity, even though we would argue probably barely on the C-list, but this Kim Kardashian passed on you as well. Hello, Allison. This is Kim Kardashian.

I heard you picked me for your celebrity hall pass. Love that for you. Unfortunately, I've seen your acting reel and I don't think your acting skills are up to par for my next sex tape. Maybe take some community college acting classes and get back to me. Why don't you pass the bar? Shut up. We found someone that we thought was in your wheelhouse

because she's older than you and probably you could get her because she's not as famous as she once was and she is gay. Hi, Allie. It's the world's second most hated lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres. Game recognizes game. I hear you have a hall pass to have sex with me.

Sadly, I can't this weekend because I'm already scheduled to have sex with your wife. What? She said you were cool with it. Looks like I'll be doing the tap, tap, tapping now. Hello? Is this thing on? Yeah, we heard you loud and clear. So Ellen is also a pass.

I surely got way less funny. She's much, yeah, she's... Damn, does not get better with age. Terribly unfunny. That's unbelievable. I do believe the sex thing, though. Yeah, so that's a pass for her, too. Okay, so I've gotten no yeses.

We did talk to Billie Eilish because of the connection through K-Rock. Hey, Allie. It's Billie Eilish. I heard you picked me for your Celebrity Hall pass. I'm so flattered, for real. Unfortunately, I'm not taking on any more bad decisions at this time. I'll totally keep your resume on file in case anything opens up in the future, though. Okay, so she's also passing on you.

Check that off the list, as well. So that's where we're at now. So we're at B's for Billie? Yeah, so that's what we got. I think, I don't know if this is real or not, but apparently Taylor Swift was contacted. Hey, girl, it's Taylor Swift. I heard you picked me for your celebrity hall pass.

How cute! Unfortunately, I can't this weekend because I'm already scheduled to have sex with your wife. Oh, my God. She said you were cool with it. What? Another person? Your wife's got to have a fun weekend.

So, anyway, it's a lot of... Can she just take this funner summer challenge? She's having the fun of summer, I bet. Take a break. We'll get back in a moment. We have news to get to. We have a brand-new hour of the show to get to. We'll help you live forever with an old people's secret

and much more after this on KROQ. There are things happening in the world that you should probably know about those things. So to break it all down, here she is with your ADD news, Barbara Walrus. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD news. Thanks, fine.

It was inevitable. Move the tusks out of the way so we can hear you. Can you hear me okay? There we go. There you are, loud and clear. We have a Grand Theft Auto leak. It makes sense. It's the highest anticipated video game release of all time. That's them.

I'm glad we have a leak. They've been dangling this carrot in front of us for a decade. So, yes, obviously it has been a very delayed release. People are very anxious to see clips of it. There are a bunch of videos of gameplay that have been released. They are all over the Internet. It's obvious that somebody has a current copy of the game because there's clips of the full map, clips of the storyline,

clips of the main character, Jason. He's driving around. He's beating up a truck driver. At one point, he uses a new drug called Zombix to heal himself. So that's a feature that, of course, nobody knew about. Clips of him flying a plane. Jason flying a plane over L.A. This is all a week before Netflix.

It's not L.A. Well, it's based on L.A., isn't it? It's a made-up town. Was it San Andreas? Yeah, I think so. So Netflix was going to release a teaser video of GTA 6 gameplay in a week. so I don't even know if they're still going to release that but the name of the person or group

that's releasing these is called CyberLeak there are QR codes on the clips asking for Bitcoin donations and the person or group would also like a promise from Rockstar Games to release a physical copy of the game instead of a fully digital release

so this is obviously somebody who is very invested in this game and has, it's not just money that they want, they have a passion for GTA and they want a physical copy of the game to be released so until they promise that, they're going to continue to release clips. You know, you find out about these jobs and you wish you had known about

these jobs and you decided what you wanted to do but these video game testers, these are people that get hired and paid to Yeah, we'll send you the game and just play it. Send out these games and they say play it and just play it for hours on end until you find any little weird glitch or any time you can't randomly pick up

a beer and chug it, like let us know so we can fix all these things and then they just move on to the next one. I mean, that sounds like just an amazing job maybe the best job on the planet to be like i should probably have sex with more of these prostitutes so that i can make sure that this is a seamless process i make sure this whole thing works properly for right i mean at this point when you take this long to this is what happened with uh back to the hold on what was the movie that was terrible coming to america too is that the first one was so good and then they waited 30 years to release a sequel and then the

expectations were where they were in that movie sucked yeah and you know i wonder if there needs to be one person to just be in the room and go, guys, let's call it. It's not good enough. Like,

it's been this long. Just release it. No, just let's not release it at all. Like, coming to America 2, you're saying it sucked.

Maybe after 30 years, someone should be like, all right, you've worked on it enough. Obviously, it's just not going to be good. So let's just call it. I know this Grand Theft Auto

is going to be great and we're all going to get excited about it again. And then, And the problem is everything has been a giant string along, including the stupid thing on Netflix now. They've been teasing the teaser video for two weeks now on Netflix. I know. Well, and I don't really need a gameplay teaser.

Like, the leaks are fun, but I don't need Netflix to be like, look at what you can do in three months. Like, I want to discover that for myself. It's easier to actually hijack a helicopter in real life and bang a prostitute than it is to wait for it to do it virtually on the game. I know. People are going to start doing it. I know. You know what? I've been waiting for GTA 6.

It's not going to happen, so I guess I'm going to steal all these cars myself. When's it going to get released? When's the official? November. November. Yeah. Good God. There was a time when it was impossible to find good van news.

You and I know this, Klein. Every time somebody was in the van, they were either getting murdered, they were living in it, they were dealing drugs out of it, or they were luring children into it with candy. The first thing we learned is, the first lesson I believe I've ever been taught by anyone is avoid vans and van drivers. No good comes of vans. Well, vans are making a comeback. Now in 2026, the Soccer Mom minivan is the thing to buy.

And the main reason is because SUVs have become incredibly unaffordable. Most of them start at $60,000 or $70,000 now as a base. But minivans start at like $40,000. And a lot of them have better gas mileage. They have more space. And they have more features. And a lot of commentary is going on about this online. And some people are commenting, I secretly take our minivan instead of my pickup truck to work a lot of times.

That thing is bitchin'. Listen, you guys all mocked me when I had to drive that forced minivan back from Arizona when my flight got canceled. Did you love it? And drove through that monsoon, that torrential downpour. I loved that. I felt like I was in my own spacecraft. I said the sliding doors make getting in and out so easy. There was nothing cool about it.

Loading up dogs, kids. Like, nothing cool about it from the outside. But on the inside, it felt amazing. Felt like I was driving a cubicle. Well, it's a more practical solution, but a lot of people don't like practical because it doesn't look as cool. Definitely did not look cool. And every time I'd stop to put gas in it, which was multiple times on that drive, I would go like, oh, my God, what loser parked at this pump? Oh, wait, that's me.

But still, when I got inside of it, I said, this is amazing. But people also, when homes became unaffordable and apartments, everyone was turning minivans into like tiny homes. And they were redoing them. I mean, some of those remodels, they were like thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars to make a tricked out minivan, a living space. We're like one cool celebrity from driving a minivan very publicly away from everyone just jumping on that. Yeah, I feel like it'll be Pedro Pascal or something. Great. Get that man a minivan.

Driving around with a minivan. Malls in a lot of ways have made a big comeback. They're cool again, especially if you go to a mall in Southern California. It's crawling with people right now. Can't afford anything in the mall anymore, but it's fun to hang out. Now the food courts are starting to get interesting. A Cheez-It pop-up is opening in the Westfield Topanga Mall. It'll be there for the month of September.

So take that pumpkin spice. There are a few menu items you can buy. They'll have a Cheez-It cinnamon roll with Cheez-It flavored icing. So that's competition for Cinnabon. Then you have a Wagyu corndog with Cheez-It cracker crusts. That's competition for hot dog on a stick. And they've got a Philly cheesesteak. Competition for your pants.

These items do not sound good to me. Am I alone in this? The corndog sounds great. A Philly cheesesteak I would love. A cinnamon roll with cheese icing, I don't know. Here's the thing. Is Cheez-Its the good one and Cheez-Nips are the bad one? Yeah, who loves Cheez-Its?

Cheez-Nips are the knockoff bad one. I always forget which one I like. One of them's good and one of them's trash. You like the knockoff brand better than Cheez-Its? I don't think, I think Cheez-Its is the one I like. That's the little squares, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think those are the good ones.

Whatever, Cheez-Nips, they're the ones that need, I don't think Cheez-Its needs the help. They don't need to, they don't need to reinvent themselves on top of a Cinnabon. Dude, Cheez-Its are awesome, and I think they're a top five snack, but I think Cheez-It is coming out with a lot of products. I know they were doing collabs with like Taco Bell and stuff. I would love to see all this from Goldfish Crackers. I think Goldfish Crackers are better than Cheez-Its, and we can incorporate them into just as many foods.

They got enough going on. Pepperidge Farm has lost their way. They need to get back with it. It's like Pizza Hut and Domino's. Like one of them is doing all these collabs and staying in the conversation and the other one wasn't. We get into a brand new hour of the show in mere moments.