Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- A Funner Summer, Petty Claims Court and MORE

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. This is the world famous K-Rock. Palm Springs in July, I just realized that I had made a reservation.

Oh, like center of the sun? Oh, is it really going to be that hot? In the middle of July? Oh, it'll be like 115 for sure. That's like the hottest time of year and the hottest place in the world. I got this alert that this hotel I was looking at last year during winter break, they hit me up and I got like an alert, prices have dropped drastically for this one random weekend in July.

And I was like, great, better get it. And then I didn't think about it and I told my wife, I was like, You know, I got us that place you want to go to in Palm Springs. She goes, in July, it's going to be unlivable. I go, I don't think so. You stay inside the whole time. And you can say that thing to yourself where you're like, well, we'll be in the pool anyway. No, it still can be hot as hell.

Oh, really? If you're sitting in a pool. Yeah, because your skin can still burn off. And also, the water's warm. It's not like the water's cool. Exactly. They did explain that a lot of the things on the property are closed because of... Because it all melted?

Well, anyway, it'll be beautiful here. hottest balls all summer at KROQ and a funner summer guaranteed for you, which is why we have the Funner Summer Challenge. Challenging each other and or forcing each other to do fun things. The wheel has been set up, which means one of us will have another thing that we'll have to do.

And if you're looking to have a funner summer, not only does it start with us every morning here on KROQ, where we give you cool things like tickets and access and everything else, but we are also forcing you to do things that we'll be doing this summer, like throw a backyard kickback with a keg, or get a bounce house for the day, or go camping,

or tailgate before a game, go on a boat. I think that's today. Today, it's going to be one of us is going to be forced to go onto some sort of watercraft because there's something about boats or jet skis that just means fun. Oh, of course. I feel like the moment I'm on a boat or anything on the water, I feel the most summer. Yeah, even just saying to someone, I'm getting up early tomorrow, I'm going on a boat. Oh, my God.

You can't have a bad time. It's impossible. So that'll be today's. We'll spin the wheel in a moment and figure out which one of us will be doing that. Someone on the show is going to be having a one-night stand. Someone's going to have to—we also have a pull-in all-nighter. We haven't given that one away yet. So we have a few more things to do to guarantee that we will have a fun summer.

Was that a party all night? Yeah, it's an all-nighter. Well, it's not going to be writing a term paper. That's not fun. So it's going to be— Well, it depends on your definition. No, term paper, please. No, no.

No, Vanessa. You can do those one-inch margins. Hey, Vanessa, if Columbia gets the big win today, I can see you pulling an all-nighter. Just raging all night. Yeah, you can do it now. This could be the thing. I would be so miserable tomorrow morning. It would be hilarious.

Or I might be delusional. Let's give it two spins then. Let's go ahead and give it a spin right now. Let's do spin number one, Allie. Let's do spin one. This is the person on the show that will at some point between now and Labor Day have to do an all-nighter. They can pick which night that is, but they must stay up all night, hopefully for fun reasons. And that will land on someone here that will not be getting a lot of sleep at least one night.

But maybe that will encourage them to do something more fun. What time is all night? It is moving. No, no, no, no, no. It was so close to moving to Jake. That landed on me. That sucks. That really was about to go on him, and I was like, oh, perfect.

So close to going on to Jake. You've got to stay up until 5 a.m., minimum. Until the sun rises. Well, I have to be. Oh, there you go. I would imagine. Don't you guys want me to stay up all night and just come in here the next day? Shouldn't I pick a night?

Did I do it where I'm here the next day? Oh, if that's an option, yes, please. No, no, never mind. I don't want that. Why did I say that? That's great. No, I love that. I mean, it sucks for you either way, because you've got to wake up with kids or whatever.

I stay up to five all the time. Yeah, but I need to go. I can't. I'm just going to sit on my couch all night and look at something. I have to go out and do something. Yeah, you have to keep yourself occupied. I have to do something fun. It has to be like Vegas style, where you are occupied all night.

You probably have to be on the Adderall or something. Vegas is the one place that I have no problem still pulling an all-nighter. That's easy for me. So just pretend like you're in Vegas. Or go to Vegas at some point this summer. What would I have to leave? To make it back here for the start of the show, what time would I have to leave Vegas? You know, you could probably do it in Palm Springs because you won't be able to sleep.

It'd be so hot. Pulling an all-nighter because it's 145 degrees outside. All right, so I'll be pulling the all-nighter at one point this summer. Add that to my list. Oh, you could do it at your barbecue. Oh, no, no, no. So I've got to clean up after you fools. So it's going to take a while.

Yeah, it'll take till five. You've got to clean. What kind of old man are you sounding like? Oh, I mean, Allie's going to probably drain up the pool. Let's keep the party going, baby. All right, well, if you guys keep it going then together, all right, then we keep it going. Yeah, we can all party in your little pool. Oh, yeah, that's rage.

Jake, you'll be leaving at 8 p.m. Come on. Sorry, Jake. That's all I can handle. At 8 p.m., you're out. I was going to get there at 8 p.m. Allie and Omar can stick around. Great, even better.

You're going to get there and then 8.01, out the door. All right, spin it again now, and this is the person that will have to spend at least one day this summer on watercraft, the watercraft of their choosing. So this includes kayak, paddleboard. Kayak's not fun. Kayak is very fun. I have an inflatable kayak. Is it like lesbian or herpes commercial?

What about tube? Oh, Jake's tubing on the river. He was already planning on doing that. I feel like that's a cop-out to just do something you were already planning on doing. Sorry if I have a fun summer. I don't need the wheel. Water. Trust me.

You're just sitting on a wheel in the river by yourself. Yeah, you need the wheel more than anyone. Don't you bring an inflatable tube and float by yourself down a river for like 12 hours? And then you hitchhike back to your car? I only had to do that once, and no one picked me up. It sucked. That's a fun summer. If there's a guy with an inner tube and a dog, just keep going.

Keep going. I dished my tube. Yeah, yeah. I just walked. Sure. This person will be spending at least one moment this summer on watercraft. If it's me, I am going to do jet ski, because that's the most fun. Yeah.

You know, I still have not ever done a jet ski. They're dope. But Yamaha, that's the one you want to go up the alley. Okay. Exactly. And this person will be Omar. Omar, you're going on the watercraft. Ah, great.

That gives me an opportunity to do, I've always wanted to do, ride the jet skis from San Pedro all the way to Catalina. Oh, I heard that was really fun. I watched the footage of it. It looks, they stop, they feed dolphins. Really? Oh, it looks amazing. I've seen it happen before.

That's scary. The sharks. I've been wanting to do it. Yeah. Omar, you're on that. All right. All right. Great.

Yep. Funner summer. Love it. You're invited to do all of these things with us. And I'll be right back after Pierce the Veil on K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. A moment ago, that Noodles from that band right there is our most recent follower at Klein Alley Show on Instagram. Oh, how long will that last? I just saw that.

It was probably an accidental follow, but welcome, Noodles. Big fan of your band here, and thank you for following along and seeing what's going on on the show. We've got a couple on the phone right now. Ernie and his wife, Margarita. Those can't be real names. Are they real names, Vanessa, or do they go with aliases? Margaret and Ernie. Yeah, all right, Margaret.

I got the last one. I got one of them right. Margarita. It's summer vibes. It's already, yeah. Let's say hi to Ernie. Ernie's brought his wife to Petty Claims Court, and we're going to get into the case in a moment.

And once again, you have jury duty. That's what I'm trying to say. I was drinking margaritas during the last song. Sorry. I guess I gave it away when I said it. We're back on board. Yep. Let's get into it.

It's time now for Petty Claims Court. In the legal system, cases are tried from Supreme Courts to Small Claims Court. But what about stuff that's too small for Small Claims Court? This is Petty Claims Court. Gabble's out. Gabble of justice. Listen closely right now if you are in the audience of KROQ, either watching on YouTube or listening. You will be in a jury, and in a moment you're going to hear two sides of the same exact story. You will have to decide who's right, who's wrong.

Your vote will determine who wins this case. And this couple may stay together or maybe breaks up forever. And Ernie says that they have been, I guess they're married. Hey, Ernie, welcome to KROQ. Good morning. Good morning, Clyde. Sweet dibbits. Sweet dibbits.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for turning to Petty Claims Court with this case, this issue that has been bothering you and your wife, I guess, for a while. What is the problem? Well, the problem is there's times that we go out to get food. Most times I go out by myself. So I go and get food. This is one incident. I went to get some pollo loco, picked up the food, came back.

It was a long day. We had just moved into the house, and we started getting our food out, started serving our plate. Lo and behold, they didn't give me no pico de gallo salsa. She loved it. She didn't get so. She threw a fit. She got mad at me. She was mad at me for, I don't know, two, three days.

That's so many days. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You come back with food from El Pollo Loco. There is no Pico de Gallo salsa, and she's mad at you for three days. Yeah, just about three days. It was over the weekend. Now, are you, you're going through a drive-thru or you're picking up in the store? This one, I went through a drive-thru.

So then it's on you asking. Well, is it on him, though? Yeah, he has to make sure it's in there or he has to ask. I've been to El Pollo Loco a million times, and I always ask or make sure that it's in there. Because that salsa at that place makes it. But they have the salsa bar there, so if you walk in, it's kind of on you. They've got the little cups. Yeah, then you've got to load up, especially on that salsa verde.

She did ask and said if I wanted salsa, and I said yes. So you're saying she messed up? Yeah, I guess the person that put the food in the bag messed up. Right, but it's on you to check it before you leave. I'll tell you, as the car behind the car that does all the checking at the drive-thru I am super annoyed Drive away and you have your bag

If there's anything in there you're winning, move along because I'm sometimes behind the person that is very thorough in their check They're not going to leave one cup of salsa unturned No, you've got to do a quick check So the issue that you're bringing is very specific now

And why are you bringing her to trial? I bring her to trial because she needs to go with me. She needs to be my passenger. She needs to be the one double-checking everything. Why does she need to be the one double-checking? This is definitely a one-person job. You don't need two people to pick up food. She's always with me.

She always wants to go everywhere with me. Well, there are, listen, I think he's opening up a bigger issue here, which is the women, and I'm not going to say it's always women, but it is, that will have a very specific way they want things done, but they don't want to do it. And they'd rather you do it, and then they want to complain about the fact that you didn't do it the way that they should have

or would have done it. And at some point you go, well, you should just do it. Because I can't figure out, there's a certain way you want it done. This is like my wife with how I make, it's not like the way I make the bed. So I just stopped doing it, because it was like, she's always saying I'm doing it wrong.

That is true in many relationships, regardless of sex, absolutely. It's salsa, but, I mean, in other cases, there's other issues. Yeah, and I don't make the bed because my wife likes it a specific way, and she makes it, and that's not my job. Right, and I don't care. I'll just get on it and fall asleep. You don't even want it to be made. No.

No, I don't. There's no reason to. Let me say hi to your wife. Hold on. This is Margaret. Good morning, Margaret. Good morning. How are you doing?

So you hear what you've been accused of. Ernie says you overreacted to the no pico de gallo salsa. And it seems like a long time to be mad at someone. Three days, he claims. Is that accurate? I don't think two days tops. And what did you order that required so much pico de gallo? Well, it's just a chicken.

And, you know, you can't have chicken without salsa for your local. Yeah. You need to have it in every bite. And so he's mad at how mad you got at him, which is very petty. It does belong here at Petty Claims Corp. But the real issue is that he now believes that moving forward, you need to be his wingwoman at any food pickups to make sure that you're getting the right amount of condiments, I guess. I mean, sometimes I just don't want to go. You know, I have things to do, and it's easier for him to just go and get it.

Yeah, and it's also not like you are demanding too much. It's just make sure there's salsa in there. Yeah, it's just salsa. I mean, how hard is it to ask for salsa? Did you tell him before he went to pick up the order and don't forget the salsa? Actually, I did because he's forgotten plenty of things before. Oh, so this is a regular thing when he goes to pick up food. He's a forgetful guy.

Yes. So you will say to him, hey, just a heads up. Thanks for going, but also remember that salsa. And he goes, got you, babe. And then he comes back and there's no salsa and you lose it. Yeah, and I mean, he's always like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get it, I'll get it. And he comes back and it's not there. And I didn't even enjoy my food

Ernie do you forget To do the double check Or do you Just not listen to your partner Do you just hate her I don't hate her I literally just forget to do the double check And what level of mad

He said you were mad for two days afterwards Is this like not speaking terms Yeah are you like sleep on a couch mad No sex mad What type of mad is it Yeah, he slept on the couch. Oh, man. I wasn't talking to him.

Wow. I mean, I know that, you know, he's bringing you to trial for coming. He thinks you should come with him. I think the real case here is that maybe that's an overreaction. A little. But it seems like she's missed out on gallons and gallons of pico de gallo salsa. Yeah, and you know, this is the definition of petty claims is something minor, but it's something that builds up over time. And then before you know it, you're sleeping on the couch.

Before you know it, you're not speaking. And then it could be the end of a relationship. I mean, in my defense, I was already, because we were moving at the time, so I was doing all the unpacking, all the organizing. So I didn't eat anything, and I didn't want it because of you. So you were all hangry. Yeah. And by the way, when you need a sauce that really,

sometimes you get most of the food, and you think, well, whatever, it's just the sauce, but sometimes the sauce is everything. And I think that's the case with El Pollo Loco. I think that their sauce makes everything. So without it, you've just got this chicken. You go, what am I going to do with this? I've got no sauce. So it's an unenjoyable meal.

But then you also think, I'm not driving all the way back there to sit in a line at a drive-thru to get a couple cups of pico de gallo. Right, and you got mad when your wife couldn't order food properly. She ordered utensils to my house. No food. So it's a very different story. But did you still talk to her? Did she sleep on the couch?

No. No, but she should have. You're just being picky. You want the food and the cutlery. Yeah, that's a good point. I guess I'm being a high maintenance. All right, Ernie, 10 seconds closing arguments. The jury will vote.

The case that you are hearing right now is Ernie, who's brought his wife to trial. So she's really the one that should be bringing him to trial, to be honest, but he's brought her to trial because he claims if she wants her food done right, she should come with him for the pickup. She claims, she just says, bring the salsa, don't forget, and he forgets. Ten seconds, closing argument, Ernie, go ahead. All right, next time, just buy the ingredients and we can just make our own because they are expensive and we don't have to run into this issue.

Wow. That's an aggressive solution. Buy the ingredients and make it at home. That's incredible. Margaret, ten seconds, closing arguments, go. it's not easy just to make it when you don't have ingredients and you can't have chicken without the salsa it was dry i didn't enjoy my meal all right there you go uh you guys will vote now 800-520-1067 you're voting for ernie are you voting for margaret the winner announced next on

k-rock temper city self-aware on k-rock recline le show self-awareness is a big issue that comes up a lot of times during petty claims court in a moment going to read the verdict ali's tabulating votes right now looking at all the comments coming through on youtube as well as the text line at 800-520-1067 and this case has taken a lot of twists and turns because there's a lot of argument about dry chicken is no good that's not really what the case is about although it's right being angry for three days over salsa seems a little extreme someone says 24 hours is the appropriate amount of time to be angry over missing salsa anything over that is too much it depends uh we'll get to all that in a moment but first before we read the verdict isaac listens to these

cases pretty intently he studies relationships the males and the females and how they interact and And Zeke's got some opinions. So, Zeke, you've heard from Ernie. You've heard from Margaret. What's going on in your head? What do you think is happening here? Man, I think Margaret is a little poco loco. That's what I think.

She's tripping about the pico de gallo, about some sauce. I get it, though. You got to enjoy the meal. But sometimes, you know, you're moving and all. And the man, you know, he probably frustrated himself, too. He didn't want to get to the pool and get back home or get this overweight, you know? But I understand, though, what she's saying. Like, the chicken can't be dry.

I can't eat no dry chicken myself, neither. They don't taste right. It's true. If you have dried chicken, it ruins the whole thing. Right, right. Okay, so she is the right amount of angry, you think? Yeah, I think so because I understand where she's coming from because if I send you to get something and I tell you specifically grab this for me

because that's how I eat my food and then you don't come with it, yeah, I'm going to be mad. We're going to have a problem. So you're going to have to go back and go get what I told you to get. So it's not really being petty, but at the same time it is because how are you going to sleep on the couch for two days because you didn't bring no people to die on there? That's crazy.

I think that's great. I wish I knew what Zeke was saying. I want him to think I'm cool, so I'm just yes-ing him a lot. I know what you're saying, Zeke. I get you. Listen, I don't think this is an argument about chicken or salsa. This is about feeling like you're not being listened to. And if I've learned anything about women, and this is somebody who grew up with two sisters and now has two daughters and a wife.

I don't know a lot about women. I get a lot wrong, but I do know they like to be listened to. And I don't do that. You don't listen. Shut it, Allie. I'm talking. You don't listen. Okay.

The point I'm making is as follows. Let me generalize about women again. They like to feel like they're being heard, and they like to feel like they're being listened to. Even though they're not being listened to. Allie, I'm talking. All right. He said, shut up. You're right.

I'm being too demanding. It's time now. 626 at El Pollo Loco asks you, would you like any salsa? I do recall that being a pretty standard thing. How could he forget? I do remember in the drive-thru, they ask every time. Ernie, was there a question asked of you at the drive-thru about did you want salsa? Yes, they asked if I wanted salsa, and I said yes.

And they just didn't put it in there? They put the green salsa, but they didn't put the, I guess they didn't put the pico de gallo in there. Did you specify pico de gallo? I said pico de gallo and the green spicy avocado salsa. Yeah, that was so good. And I assumed that it was in there. The green spicy avocado. Now I'm mad.

All right, now I'm mad, too. Now we're all on Ernie's side. All right, Allie's going to read the verdict in a moment. Margarita, you understand. Excuse me, Margarita. You understand that the verdict is final here at Petty Claims Court. Once Allie reads it, there's nothing we can do to take it back, right? Yes.

Okay. A lot of votes here. The first 100 usually determines the winner and the loser. You know, it's crazy because I was tabulating during that little song break, and it was 50-50. It was deadlocked 50-50 split. If you could look at this text line at KROQ, it's so funny because it just goes like, Ernie, Margarita, chicken, salsa, Ernie, Ernie, chicken. Salsa.

Pico, chicken. It's like an order is coming through right now. I'm starving. So, Allie, who wins this case? Just edging out the win, Margaret has won this edition of Petty Claims Courts. I think the consensus is it was a bit of an overreaction, but still, if he's forgetting it on a regular basis, nobody wants dry chicken, and that is worth getting upset over. Moving forward, a couple of options that have also come. People like to give us solutions.

You know, you can buy, what, like a giant tub of Pico. If you don't want to make it, you can buy a ton of it. Just have it. If you go through it enough, just have it in the fridge on the ready. Yeah, it does go bad faster than like a jarred salsa, though. It does get a little liquidy. Eventually, it's almost a consistency of a smoothie. But still, a delicious smoothie nonetheless.

All right, hold on one second. Thank you for participating in the Petty Claims Court. You get the win this time, and she seems happy about that. And the good news is you'll probably never forget it. And every time you guys get into a disagreement moving forward, you'll rub it in his face, right? Yep, always. That's why we do it. All right, thanks for listening.

Yep, tee-hee. Let's do some takeaways and get the hell out of here. We don't have time for more songs because Sluggo will be in in a moment with another chance for you to hop on that list and go see Evanescence in Montreal. But first, let's do takeaways from today's show. On the text line, the number is 800-520-1067. 562, my takeaway is Fat Alley is back. Oh, yeah. Fat Alley is back.

Get it ready. And the song is, it's an earworm. Sticks around for a while. 650, my takeaways, if you get scammed enough, you become a professional. Uh, let's see. 818, my takeaway is... Goal! 818.

Fat Allie is back. Oh, yeah! Back to the snack. Fat Allie is back. Locked the fridge. It's under attack. You gotta get Moe Drangles. Fat Allie is back.

She's firing for me again Getting ready to laugh Fat Alley's back Beautiful. The return of Fat Alley, everyone. That's why your water's doing that ripple thing like in Jurassic Park. Yeah, exactly.

818, Blita and Rosita, Kid Fight coming soon. And 213, my takeaways, order the Omar's Mom special at Costco. They know what you're asking for. A lot of pepperoni. What's your takeaway, Postmaster Johnny? I'm the ringleader for the fight in Klein's backyard. What are you eating?

Peanut, what are these again? Salted pizza, what? Salted pretzel peanut butter bites. This is the one time of the last four and a half hours that we needed you to say something on the microphone. And you decided now would be a good time to start eating? Yeah, man, you guys should have called on me earlier when I didn't have food in my mouth. Vanessa, what are you... That's our fault.

Great, thanks. I'm glad. Vanessa, what's your takeaway from today's show? According to Gemini, Klein's a baldy and Allie's a giraffe. Yeah, that's right. I'm a baldy and Allie's a giraffe. Thanks a lot, AI.

You're making us look great. Really appreciate you. Jake, takeaway? Thinking long neck in the morning. Thinking long neck in the morning. Every morning, Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is this show's bull feathers. Bull feathers.

Shout out, Dad, for that one. Omar, takeaway? My takeaway is that incense cones are for losers. Yeah, dorks. Yeah, we did learn. Jake's got strong opinions about incense cones. About the cone people. He likes them in sticks because he gets $1,000 for a nickel.

It's like the people who played Magic the Gathering hate the people who play Settlers of Catan. Oh, yeah, Jake. What kind of dumb game is that? Yeah, Jake, it's all the same. So, they're all dumb. You're all playing the same game. Like, Jake doesn't like Dungeons & Dragons people.

Yes, exactly. But, buddy, look. They're fine. No, no, no. You said that you don't... Incense Coners play Dungeons & Dragons. Yeah, you said you think you're better than them. We can't get into it now.

We've got to go. All right, have a great day. Do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. Vanessa, anything you want to say about Team Columbia and their big game tonight? Go ahead. I was so excited. I hope we win.

We're not going to lose. And I'm freaking out. A lot of anxiety is happening right now. I wasn't ready for this. Do you have the nervous poops today yet or not yet? No, but I did wake up feeling like, how are the players feeling? Are they okay? Right.

Okay. Well, anyway, Vanessa will be screaming at the top of her lungs later. If you hear shrieks coming around 7 p.m. tonight, you'll know where they're coming from. Have a great day. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. Bye. It's just okay, do-do-do, Glenn and Ellie, it's just okay, wow, Glenn and Ellie, it's just okay, do-do-do-do, just okay, do-do-do.