Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Ally's Hotel Tipping, Johnny Doesn't Know an MORE

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. This is the world famous K-Rock. runners are at this point. I know that you

on Friday were nominated when you were talking when you were talking about your I got a jug of Go ahead. Sorry, sorry, my bad, my bad. Those were all on the air. I was trying to figure out which one is a front runner. Alright, this is my front runner here. I got a jug of jizz.

That's a front runner. Who wants it? Me only? We still have a few days left of the month, so everything we say can and will be used against us and if you hear us say something on the air that could win the gayest soundbite of the month. Let us know on the Goat Line. Hey, good night.

That's strange, for sure. I remember that. I don't even know what that was from. That was talking about Tom Brady's new brand of coconut water. And how Gronk was going to name it. Good night. But it's out of context, a great gay clip. It is.

Well, we'll get to all of those coming up later this month. And if you hear us say something, please don't be a stranger. Leave the message on the Goat Line where you route us out. 844-956-GOAT. There's been a lot of drama here happening on the air and off the air. You've got the whole Alley Pregnancy saga that's been taking place. You've got all the things happening behind the scenes. And then you've got Jake, stubborn Jake, that just won't let go.

This one-sided argument that he's been stuck in about Buc-ee's not being a gas station. It's more of a store than anything else. This is why we felt important to share with you this story that came out over the weekend. Well, Buc-ee's doesn't officially open until Monday. But today, a special treat for first responders and their families. They were kind of like looking around like, this is a gas station? It's just crazy to have all this stuff. This is the biggest gas station I've ever seen.

Just a couple of people just commenting on the local news about how great the gas station Buc-ee's was. Jake says it's not a gas station. It's a store that happens to sell gas, according to Jake. I just can't get over it. For a gas station, this place is insanely clean. Another person saying that as well. Stupid kid. This is not AI, Jake.

These are real people. Real people. Here we go. Here we go. I've got press on the board. Press on the board. What is happening? They're chanting gas.

That's what they're chanting. Now, these will certainly be flying off the shelves Monday. Now, if you are coming out, the parking lot's going to open at midnight. The store opens at 6 a.m., but they are expecting thousands of people, miles of lines. So be prepared and be patient. People are all excited about Bucky's gas station. That's the opening of the one in Arizona. People are making their way from Southern California over there so they can load up our gas.

All of the people he interviewed said it was a gas station. They went out of their way to call it a gas station. They went out of their way to go there for what? The gas? No, the store. I'm just saying they're calling it a gas station. Mother idiots. They said miles and miles of lines of people.

You're going to be an idiot to go there anyway. At one point, Jake, when are you going to admit you're the idiot? I'm not. I'm right. It's a storm or anything else. Remember this story from last week, Alan? To be able to meet Randy, the pit master, to be able to meet Mr. Bucky himself. To say that people are excited would be an understatement. But the one thing that we can all agree on is that Bucky's is and always has been a gas station. Reporting live from Buc-ee's, a gas station, Nicole Levy, ABC 15 News.

Get that A.I. slap out of here. So that was just another story. But Jake is convinced, though, that we're all wrong and he's right. Yeah, even though we've given him countless examples. And nobody cared about Buc-ee's before today. And there are a ton of YouTube videos labeled, I went to the largest gas station, Buc-ee's. A ton of YouTube videos. It says on their website they're a gas station.

People go there for, like, the barbecue and stuff for the store. They don't go there for gas. Okay. And why are there rows and rows and rows of pumps? Well, because there's gas there, but they go from one place to the other. Ken Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. There's a lot of talk about tipping these days. Understandably, you've got that screen of shame,

and they want that smiley face, and they're demanding tips. There's more and more ways to tip than ever before. We've apparently reached the tipping point on tipping. And then we've got all of these now visitors from other lands that are here in America for World Cup. And in those lands, tipping ain't really a thing. So now there's been all of this interesting feeling of what's great to have all this money that's coming in as people are celebrating World Cup fever. But a lot of the people coming from countries, tipping is not on their radar. All these Scottish people are drinking the bars dry and then leaving a $2 tip on a $200 bill.

But that's kind of what they do there. And I think this is a great opportunity for America to change their policy on tipping. This is what it's like, yes, and I know it's going to be hard to get used to, but I think this is a moment of opportunity to shift gears a little bit because we have reached the tipping point. Cheap Alley is going to start dressing up and speaking an accent like she's visiting from a foreign land just so that she can leave without tipping. I could just see you going to some...

Hello, could I please have a burger? We've seen you a million times here before. It's $9.79. Leave it exact to the penny. Oh, round up. It's my culture. Good day. But that's, you know, in some other countries, that's the beauty of when you were saying

one of the best parts of when you went over to Europe this past year is that it's not expected, and as a result, you don't feel guilt in doing it, so you just pay your bill and you move on. Yes, but the thing is, when you're an American visiting another country, they still expect you to tip because they think you're a dumb American who thinks they have to tip. Right. So that was also a weird adjustment. Everyone's kind of expecting it.

I thought a lot of the restaurants were going to adjust and inflate their prices. Well, yeah, that's part of it, too. They're spending lots of money still. They're just not necessarily tipping the wait staff, which I know that the servers, that's your livelihood is those tips. There's a few places you go to now. There's no tip line, and you go, oh, wow, this is great. And then you read a little fine print that says we jacked up your bill, and we don't accept tips here, but a portion of whatever you spend is going to the server so they can have a livable wait.

You go, okay, cool. That's good. I'm totally happy with that. It's this discretionary thing. feeling tipsy or you got a tip here. Oh, they have to do little cute things. I got asked to tip for housekeeping that wasn't even housekeeping at a hotel this weekend.

Three days. They only clean the hotel room every three days, so they don't visit at all before the third day. I was there for exactly three days. So then it's like, I mean, yeah, it was like Friday night. It wasn't even a full three days. So then they came and

maybe dropped off a couple of towels, but if you need any coffee pods refilled, you have to ask for all that stuff and go all the way downstairs and get it and then there's still a little screen a little card in your room

that said hey feeling tipsy scan this QR code and I'm like tip who for what yeah you had to go down and do it yeah but is this the

motel 6 you're staying at or what kind of hotel is this it was I mean it was a Hilton Garden Inn but it was a Hilton Inn

and I asked if the breakfast was included and it used to be and it is no longer but all that no continental no continental nothing but damn

Not even a Belgian waffle that I can make myself. There's a woman that's gone a bit viral this weekend in the world of tipping because she claims that she can pretty much tell when you go in there, I guess based on what you order, if you're going to tip at all. That's her whole theory. Well, yeah, there's a couple of red flags. I guess she said that. You're going to be a bad tipper.

She can tell right away, immediately, almost before you even sit down. Yes. She said that one of the first things is people who try and make their own concoctions. like uh can i please just have a bunch of lemons and some sugar i'm gonna make my own lemonade right or we're gonna you know i'm gonna order all these sides and create a burger out of the sides like people who are trying to frankenstein their own meal or beverage those are red flag bad tippers but people who are overly nice or they call them verbal tippers people who are like i'm so so overly nice to the server you look so beautiful thank you so much the service has been so great i tipped

with compliments instead of money exactly they will leave a crappy tip and you think that they're going to give you a good tip because they're being so nice to you but it's actually the opposite and then the other one is uh people who will try and fit into some kind of a happy hour window when they're not in the happy hour window that's you like hey i'm gonna order all this stuff but can you please not charge me don't ring any of it up until five o'clock because that's when happy hour Right, or you get there three minutes before it ends, and you go, can I put all this in now? But you can just go ahead and bring it up. Yeah, I'm going to order seven beers and five orders of hot wings.

Yeah, but bring them every 20 minutes, but I'll pay right now and close the tab. Exactly, and those people, they say, are the red flag bad tippers as well. That's pretty obvious right there. We take a break. When we get back, a gift for you to the tune of tickets. It's a lightning round edition of Giant Doesn't Know. Up for grabs. Tickets for you to go see Matt Rife telling jokes at the Greek.

That's on the 13th of July. Tickets, Ticketmaster.com, but you can win them from us. youngest man to ever sell out the Hollywood Bowl when he was here and did that for the first time. Youngest comedian to do that. Now he'll be at the Greek. We'd love to get you into the show, and all you have to do is predict will Johnny know or not know the answer to a very easy question. He's still all messed

up about IPO, which is what we asked him on Friday, or last week. We said, what does IPO stand for? We never told him the right answer, so he's still asking. I don't think he knows how to search for the answer to that. No, no, no. Because he tried to ask Siri, and he didn't even know how to ask her. He said to me, what's this IPO thing you're yapping

about and i said the ipo thing still he goes yeah but why it's ipo like oh boy he thought there was a t in it we'll take a quick break we're back in a moment your chance to play and win after this matt rife tickets will be yours if you're able to predict will johnny know the answer or not to a very simple question it's a one question lightning round if johnny doesn't know making his way into the k-rock studios right now and then he'll be boarding that bus to santa barbara you'll have more chances to get on that bus again today at noon three and six and a couple of chances every morning this week right here on KROQ, the bus to Santa Barbara for some Royal Otis with your camp counselor, Postmaster Johnny. Right now, though, it's time for Johnny Doesn't

Know. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in data for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know. Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know.

It like goes, wiggles. All right, Johnny. How are you feeling today? I'm feeling really great, but you're looking a little spent. Tired. That skunk spray really got you, huh? Tired. Well, it's funny. I didn't realize on the wheel of things I was supposed to do this weekend or this summer, for fun or summer, one of my things was pull an all-nighter.

The night of the skunk, technically, I did not sleep. But it was not a fun all-nighter, so I'm not going to count that. But I was between the shampoos every 15 minutes, the smell of the skunk, the moving out of the room, the sleeping on the couch. That was one of those nights where no sleep was had. Yikes. Terrible sleep. and I've been trying to grind it out because technically I did tell you guys

once summer officially begins I will show you all the progress I've made and shredded for summer oh so you're working out too much I've been trying to get into a daze and Klein's pretty ripped I'm not going to lie he's shown me a couple times it's been falling apart

did Vanessa just laugh at you yes I laughed at Johnny and this weekend I fell apart big time because I feasted wait a minute he's been showing you That's why I laughed We've been down in the gym

Putting in the work And Klein's actually getting at it And did he take his shirt off And show you? Yeah We all Like dude Gym guys do that

I'm not a gym guy You're a gym guy now Klein? I'm not a gym guy Did you voluntarily Take your shirt off In front of Johnny? No I take my shirt There's a locker room there

Yeah there's a locker room Oh okay This was already happening In the locker room Yeah there's a locker room And then Johnny Goes to the shower And sings to himself

At the top of his lungs For an hour Who doesn't sing in the shower? Full Radiohead album Yes, who doesn't sing in the shower? Steven in Pasadena, good morning. Welcome to Johnny Doesn't Know. Hello, Steven.

Yes. Got one question here for Johnny. You're in a helicopter? We're going to see whether or not Johnny's able to get this right or wrong. And all we have to do is predict will he get it right or will he get it wrong. And the question for Johnny is as follows. Johnny, what part of the body is comprised of the carpus and the metacarpus? Will Johnny know this, yes or no?

Pretty easy question. Johnny's going to think about it for a moment. What do you think? You think Johnny knows this one? Up for grabs tickets for you to see Matt Rife. He does not know. Does not know. Oh, this is not going to be good.

He does not know, but he does know that he's making a left-hand turn on Market Street right now. Unbelievable. That's right. Thank you. Are you calling us from a chopper, sir? No, my phone at work is just horrible. Are you sure? I hope so.

Okay, just making sure. Thanks. That's Steven in Pasadena. Steven in Pasadena with the call from high above. Says Johnny will not know from 30,000 feet. Johnny, a part of the body is comprised of the carpus and the metacarpus. Damn, I need a definition for comprised. Oh, man.

That's the word that's tripping you up? When you said comprised, I was like, ooh, he's good. Yeah, that's a tough, yeah. What do you think comprised is? Well, I got to mean like part of, like it comes from, it stems from, comprised. It's not made up of completely. It kind of comes from or is adjacent to, you know, that's what I think it means. You're saying like three different things now.

Yeah. I'm just waiting to see if that sticks. So which part of the body is comprised of the carpus, the metacarpus? Carpus sounds like carpal, like carpal tunnel. And I know that's something old people get in their, like, fingers and in their bones. Just in their fingers, you think? Well, they're probably everywhere else, too, like their neck and, like, their arms and crap like that. But I think it comes from, like, cracking your knuckles, too.

Because a lot of old people tell me, don't crack your knuckles. You're going to get carpal tunnel or get, like, arthritis and stuff like that, you know? So you said carpus? So where were we? Oh, where were we? Ali eats carpus. Carpus and metacarpus. which part of the body

do those comprise to make up? Damn. Let's go with hand. I'm going to go with somewhere in the hand. Steven, you said Johnny wouldn't know. I felt really strong

about your guess. I really did. And every once in a while he does this where he stumbles into the right answer. Yes. The hand is comprised

of a combination of the carpus. Carpus, carpal. And the metacarpus. So sorry, Steven. Those tickets are not yours. Which means good news for you, Caller 20. You're going to go see Matt Reif right now at 800-520-1067 on KROQ.

Jason from Ontario, congratulations. Matt Reif tickets are as good as yours. More chances to win your way on the bus to see Royal Otis, Santa Barbara, and more Matt Reif tickets as well. Earlier today, got to give away another TV. Got to give away that trip to go see Evanescence in Montreal. And I forget what else we did, but I'm sure we were really generous. Oh, yeah, and we gave away that $500 courtesy of Vons Albertsons Pavilion.

So thanks for that as well. You know, Jake, occasionally, it's been a while, Alice, since we've done a round of Do You Know the Band on Your Shirt, where Jake approaches people wearing shirts with bands on them, and then he assumes if you're wearing the band on the shirt, you must be a fan of the band. But you better believe when he ran across a guy wearing a Tool shirt, he ran, sprinted over, because when two Tool fans meet in the wild, they have to spiral out, and this is how that uncomfortable exchange took place. What's your name?

Elias. My name's Elias. Nice to meet you. Where are you from? I live in Burbank. Elias, you're wearing a tool shirt. Absolutely. I actually got it from a shop up in San Jose when I lived up there. But you know what's funny, though?

You smell like the store that I bought it from, which is really weird. So he's saying that Jake smells like the store that he bought the old sweaty tool shirt in. Yes, because all of those stores smell like incense and patchouli. Yeah. That's good smells. And that, like, unrecognizable funk. Yes, and it's like layers of it. It's thick.

The air is thick in those stores. I know those stores. There used to be a few of those stores on Melrose. I don't even know if they're still open, but that smell is an undeniable smell. And you feel like it sticks on you as you leave the store, no matter how short of a period you're in there. And it's weird because I feel like the smell, when it's times a thousand powered, is kind of a good smell. But individually, when it's just the one of that, then it just smells off. Yeah, exactly.

So anyway, congratulations, Jake. Smells like that man's shirt. Did that guy know anything? Or we don't care. We could play the game. We don't have time to play it today. But maybe tomorrow we'll squeeze in a round of Do You Know The Band On Your Shirt Tool.

If anyone wants to stick around for that. The text line is voting no. Let's give you somber. It's called Home Wrecker. Then we'll get out of here with takeaways from today's show. If you got them for us, the text line is open for you right now. 844-956-GOAT is the GOAT line.

800-520-1067 to text the show. Somber. It's called Home Record. It's K-Rock. We're Klein Alley Show. Get the hell out of here. Don't worry. Sluggo's coming in a moment.

Sluggo brings with him more spots for you to get on that bus to Santa Barbara. See some Royal Otis. Win your way on the bus. It's the only way to get to the show. And it'll be a K-Rock party bus. Maybe a banger bus. We're not exactly sure. Maybe a baddie bus.

A lot of options. So just win your way. Status of bus TBD. TBD. Takeaways from today's show. What do we got? 949, my takeaways. If it's not gay, if it's not gay, if it's in the locker room, 909, my takeaway is summer is the summer.

Summer is the summer, baby. That's what they say. Very poignant. Every time around this year, that's what they say. Summer is the summer. 213, my takeaway is Jerry's got a skunk. Jerry's got a skunk. Man.

A lot of people have been tipping me off of all the other things I did wrong. It's nice to know that after the fact, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, a lot of people, they claim that their dogs have also been skunked this year, and they handled it a lot better than I did. 562, my takeaway, is the greatest offensive move is spray ass. Spray ass works for humans and skunks. 310, heat is kryptonite for old people. And 650, my takeaway, is Klein needs an intermission when he takes a shower. I like to sit down sometimes in the shower.

Just like take a little seat right there on the shower floor. Just your bare ass on the floor. I feel like I'm not relaxing enough standing here like a loser working overtime. I just want to sit. If you need us in the meantime, there's a GOAT line for you. 844-956-GOAT. You can also get in the Instagram Klein Alley Show. We're on TikTok as well.

And our YouTube, where you can see all of today's show in its entirety or clips, choice clips, all on KROQ's YouTube. Thank you for subscribing. Everyone says thank you for subscribing and you don't plan on doing it. In this particular case, do it. Spend a minute and make our bosses love us for at least another 35 seconds. Your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny? An angry listener is on his way to Skid Row to meet Miles the DJ. That's right.

He doesn't like any more evanescence. Miles, you need to be at Skid Row at 7 p.m. tonight to meet this listener. Right in prime time. Vanessa, takeaway? Kids, throw them off the tree. Do you remember you said that, Klein? You guys. Klein, we talked about this for pre-K.

And then Klein's like, oh, throw them off the tree. You see what happens. The tree? I don't know what she's talking about. Is she talking about throwing them in the pool? Is she talking about this show? No, you said tree. This is a different show.

Are you listening to that Pollo radio show guy? El Polito. Polio. I don't know that show. Who's that guy? El Piolín, maybe? Are you listening to El Piolín? Or El Cucuy?

No, I was listening to Kevin Kline. She were? And he said, throw them off the tree. When we were talking about Ali's kids, he's going to TK or whatever, and then Kline said, nowadays, you can't just throw them off the tree. Throw them off the tree like a bird. Oh, like a baby bird thing. I remember that.

Thank you, Jake. Now it's funny. Now we need a translator. Jake, take away from today's show? Yeah, it's not a tutu. It's a leotard. It's for boys Through a locker

It's not It's a leotard It's a leotard For boys I thought it was the boys section He picked it out himself It's in the boys dance section All these kids

Going straight to the lockers No lockers They have cubbies They're open cubbies We have one locker For throwing this This leotard kid in here And it's your turn in the locker today again, Wesley.

Oh, my takeaway from today's show. My takeaway is that Klein wants a better looking dong than George Clooney. That's right. That's all I want to say. This dong's better than Clooney's. Have a great day. Do it tomorrow. Try to do it better.

Here's a jingle so you don't forget us between now and then. Bye. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Do-do-do. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Wow. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Okay, just, just, just, just, just okay.