Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Ally's Test Results, Our Year Predictions and MORE

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Hell yeah. Welcome to your K-Rock and welcome to your Klein Alley Show. It's just after 10 o'clock. We used to call this a summer hour, but here we are now in the middle of summer enjoying an hour together. And this is the hour that we give away more of those tickets for you to go hang out on the beach in Santa Monica with Jack White. Killer, sublime. It is Ocean Way Festival and we get you in. And the homeless.

Don't forget about the homeless. Oh, and the homeless. Headlining. the homeless will be headlining, so get ready for that. Homeless guy gave me a donut when I went into the bathroom last time I was at the Santa Monica. Whoa, no way! I didn't accept it, but

he did offer me a donut. Did he throw it at you like Jake does? Or he tossed it? I caught it in my mouth. Oh, nice. As I went in, he was like, would you like this donut? I was like, I'm okay, sir. Thanks so much. Probably someone gave him the donut, and he's probably, you know, like LA, everyone's all carb conscious. He's probably

like, yeah, I'll pass it off to that woman. This isn't keto. I'll hand it over to Fat Alley when she walks by and she'll probably go ahead and swallow that thing whole and you pass on it. And he was right. Big mistake right there.

You should have taken. Al, you'll appreciate this message. You're the only person who will. Hey guys, sweet gives. I just wanted to call in about my sweet Odo accomplishment. Nice. 100,000 miles.

What? Hooray. Time to scrap it. Time for a new car. Time for a new car. You hit the big Odo, the big six-figure Odo, 100K. Very impressive

odometer accomplishment. Do you not think that's slightly impressive? Isn't that a milestone for somebody who bought a new car and now they got it to 100,000 miles. That is a different story because that one means something. When you get all excited because it goes 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 1 or when it does 5, 6, 5, 6 and you take a picture

I think that is a giant waste of your energy. I think that there are a lot of milestones that are worth celebrating. 100K is one of the biggest ones. It's like your kid reaching double digits. Certain birthdays matter in your life. Others are just birthdays. And obviously, you know, I had one hundred and sixty thousand the other day. That was days or miles. That's a big accomplishment. When you hit one hundred and sixty thousand pounds, you better believe that will be an accomplishment.

Change it to kilos. We will celebrate for you. Lots to get into this hour. As we mentioned, you'll have a chance to see this band. So keep listening to K-Rock. Good morning. You're going to have to check those live on the air. That's very exciting.

You want me to share it on the air? Some medical test results. Well, I mean, you may not want to share everything, but what did you do? You had to do STD tests? Oh, my God, everything you could possibly imagine. When you get pregnant and then you have to go get your first set of labs, the guy, as soon as I gave him my number and said, hey, I'm here for the labs, he printed out so many little pieces of paper.

He took out the urine cup. He took out a swab, which I had never seen before, and said you have to put this up yourself and swab yourself for an STD test, which I've never had to do before. and give myself my own vaginal swab. Why did you have to do that? They want to make sure I don't have syphilis and gonorrhea. I guess it affects the baby somehow.

You didn't have to do it the first time? I think that they did it the first time. I think there's this weird DIY trend with medical stuff now where they're like, you can do this. I'm like, no, you swab me. The medical community, I blame the peptides and the GLPs for this. They just assume that we're all qualified to be jabbing ourselves constantly. Yeah, I don't want to be swabbing myself.

and they're sending you stuff in the mail and they're going, hey, go ahead and poop in this bag and send it back. I think it's a disgusting factor. It's like anything that has to do with them getting grossed out. For example, the poop stuff. They don't want to touch that. Or touching Allie.

Yeah, I was busy in there too. I went and did the urine sample and then I put the cup and there were like six other cups. I was like, ugh. Someone even forgot to put the lid on their cup. Allie claims the last time she was swabbed it was a nine foot swab so they could stay that far away from her.

They didn't want to get close, so they just decided it's easier just to send it to her. It's just an extremely long cotton swab. They kept taping them together so they could stay far away. They had to use a loudspeaker to communicate. So you got tested for everything.

So these, what you just got. Oh, and then I got drained. Look at my big-ass bruise on my arm. Oh, man. They took, like, a gallon out. They have to test all this stuff. So what did you get the results for just now? What just came through?

So I just got, let's see. I got a crop. I've got my blood count. I've got my HIV. I've got my... gonorrhea and syphilis hepatitis b you got all of that i have it all yeah and hep c that is a terrible report and then my glucose tolerance which is if i have diabetes so i had to when i got there they gave me this sugar water they said sit down and drink this within five

minutes and then sit here for an hour you know what's wild is that you're going through all these tests and i get it and it's uh you know it's important and then there's kids being born in third world countries every guy who never did one blood test one of these tests no sure A mosquito's probably going to eat them, and they're going to die, and that sucks. But the reality is, Allie, most of this stuff is an unnecessary thing. Inconvenience, because I was there most of the afternoon. But they want to make sure everything's on the up and up, and it's probably because you're doing that weird-ass thing

where you put your wife's egg inside of your womb, and it's experimental. They said every pregnancy has to do this, which I feel like they just kind of tell you. This is how that movie Splice started. All right, you want to see if I have HIV? You want to play Spets, guys? Here we go. Vanessa, what do you think? You're usually right about these things.

No HIV. Thanks for that drop. I want you to say yes or no for all these. Totally, totally. That's the only reason I asked her. Damn! For HIV 1 and 2, AB and 1, there's all these different variants. I am non-reactive.

Yeah, that's so weird. Which I think means I don't have it. Non-reactive? Yeah. That means like you have it, but you're not showing symptoms. Why don't they just say no have? Yeah, no. No have.

It's a no. No. All right. So I guess congratulations. Thank you. You're non-reactive. Then we move on to gonorrhea and syphilis. Definitely you have some of that.

Non-reactive. Whoa. Hey-o. That was non-reactive. Do I have the hep B? Non-reactive. What's the margin of error on these tests? I don't think there's much error, right?

I mean, they took my blood and it's not in there. Oh, this was all through the blood. This wasn't through the swab? No, I didn't have to swab every time. Oh, okay. I thought there was a lot of swabbing going on. There's just so much swabbing. Cleaning the bottom of a boat with that one.

And then finally, Hep C, boom, non-reactive. You know, there is one that I'm hoping is positive. I'm really hoping, guys, that I have toxoplasmosis. Why is that? Because if I do already have toxoplasmosis, I can eat sushi. Oh, really? Because I already have it. Because the risk of me getting it while I'm pregnant is bad.

So that's why they say stay away from sushi. that's why they say um don't do gardening the rare steak all that stuff is toxoplasmosis but if i already have it you have toxoplasmosis and i don't have to worry about it rare steak and sushi so i've already got it why can't we give it to you i could probably get we could probably get it you get you like when you have to find i took a test for it so that's the result i'm hoping for if i have positive toxoplasmosis then open the floodgates baby you want reactive on that oh yeah i want real reactive and you can get it when you're around cats which i've been around cats constantly you can get it through rat feces i'm sure i got rat or cat feces all over the

all day baby imagine that form you filled out you're checking yes for everything they're going man this woman is a breeding ground for toxoplasmosis yeah so we and you can get it from cat scratches all kinds of stuff related to cats so fingers crossed baby you're waiting for ali to reveal the results of all of her std testing there you have some by the way a lot of people pointing out you didn't mention the herp uh thing which i didn't have to test for that yeah no kidding How do we know? Because of my prescription. Right.

Theoretically. Got to take a break. When we get back, we're in the month of July now, which is crazy because we're halfway through the year of 2026, or over halfway through the year. We made a bunch of predictions going into this year, and I think it's a worthy time for us to check on some of these predictions as to things that we thought would be either big trends this year or people that we thought would be making comebacks. outfits, I believe. It's been six months since we did that, so we're going to see how any of us are doing at this point in our 2026 predictions. And then we will give you

the access you've been waiting for, and that is your tickets to go to Santa Monica and see all them bands on the beach, and hopefully you've been paying attention to today's show. We'll come back with all that and more next. Hopefully you've been paying attention to the show today. You'll have a chance to call in moments and participate in the Klein Alley

Shoshinway Quiz, a chance for you to go to the Oceanway Festival happening in Santa Monica with Sublime and Jack White and the Killers and many others and you'll have your chance coming up if you've been paying attention to today's show. That would be your cue to call in about five minutes. Allie, we only have

162 days left of this year which means we are over halfway done and July 1st is the midway point and now here we are heading towards the end of July. That was your half birthday. Thank you, my half birthday. And by the way, you guys all made fun of me because you said no one celebrates half birthdays. I recently went into a Chipotle

and I had an unused on my phone, unused half-birthday free soda. Didn't even know they did that. I can't believe they do that. Every day is a free soda day if you just ask for a water cup there, but regardless, I had a half-birthday free soda. But you didn't even take advantage of it, right? No, I didn't, because I

didn't know that they did it, because you guys convinced me that no one cares about half-birthdays. I'll tell you who cares. Chipotle cares. That's who cares. Anyway, I had to spend $5 to take advantage of that free soda, which I never did. Okay. We all made predictions at the end of last year as to things that we would experience a lot in 2026, And it's interesting now as we're halfway through the year to see if any of us were right.

One person was very right about something they predicted. In the category of food, Jake predicted that we would have mushroom-infused everything. Well, he's not super wrong. Yeah, not wrong. I mean, that was kind of starting already. I do know that recently I've gone to a few, like, just regular coffee shop. You have a lot of different mushroom things. I've been taking a lot of mushroom, but not food mushroom stuff.

Like, I've been taking the mushrooms that make me trip. Magic mushrooms. Magic mushrooms. But Jake's talking about, like, a lot of times you go to a coffee place now, and they're like, do you want Lion's Mane or Ashwagandha or something else, some other type of mushroom. It's not a mushroom, I know, but I don't want to get caught up in what's a mushroom and what's not. But nobody guessed protein, and that's the biggest food craze this year. Right, no one said protein. I did say junctional food, which is kind of like protein.

Well, I will give you the point on that because everything has, like, the fact that there's protein ice cream, I feel like that is a junctional food. There's, like, protein Pringles. So it's like all of the junk food protein Doritos. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. My prediction was that we would take all of our favorite junk foods and figure out a way to quote, feel less guilty about them being junk because we just say, I don't think they're healthy.

No, they're definitely not. They're definitely not. They're super processed. It's a mental. You just feel better because you're like, I know I just ate an entire bag of corn Doritos, but also it was 57 grams of protein. So I feel like I did something right. So I got muscle retention.

So that was my pick. Johnny thought everything would be in Lunchable style. Lunchables are going to make a big year this year Not really Ali said collagen on everything Which I do see that but not as much And Vanessa said homemade Everyone's going to be bragging about making homemade stuff

It's not going to be about going out It's going to be about making stuff And posting the recipe on TikTok Omar said everything would be smaller Because of half portions Everyone's on Ozempic and GLP Which is kind of true as well But they never marketed it

You're right They didn't market it the way they should have But I do see a lot of places now are offering, like, what I would call, like, snack-sized meals, which I think is what they're saying. I mean, what they need to do is convert every kid's menu to an adult version of the kid's menu. Right.

Because the amount of people I know that would like to order off of a kid's menu or secretly do, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. By the way, like, I have ordered the Happy Meal. I've said this before. We'll pretend I'm having a conversation with kids in the back of my car that are not there because I want a Happy Meal.

But that's because it's just all I want. I have no self-control. So I know if I only get six chicken nuggets and a small fries and a small soda and a little toy to play with, I know that that's all I need. Do you stop by a fast food place every day? Not every day. No, but if I am driving and having a craving,

I also know if I order the 20-piece nugget, which is what I would get, I would eat all of them. But if you have five, it's like a snack. I'll tell myself, oh, you get to 20, eat five now, save the rest for later. And I won't, I'll eat all 20.

Well, and they're never as good when you wait. So anyway, in the category of comebacks, this is where I think we had our biggest win. And Allie made a prediction that we all made fun of for her at the time, and that was the comeback of the Macarena. And I believe the last six months have probably been the biggest six months in the history of the song, the Macarena. Absolutely.

I don't know where it came from. World Cup, World Series, NBA Finals. I mean, there's not an event that has happened that the Macarena. Weddings, dance classes. People are tipping us off constantly going, like, guys, they're doing the Macarena at the Masters. We're like, what? The Macarena has had a crazy resurgence.

All the white people dancing at the Masters for the Macarena. That's probably epic. Only white. No one other than white people have ever danced to the Macarena. Let's be honest. No, Omar, you've also played at a lot of your gigs. Absolutely. And then I wanted to, you know, kind of film it because I thought I was going to fail.

And it was a hit. Yep. Johnny, it's funny. One of the gigs Omar was paid for, he goes, I'm going to watch this fail. I'm going to intentionally wreck this. I'm going to ruin this. Just to prove Ali wrong. Ali's fat face.

And it still does well. And hit at the quinceanera. So Johnny predicted it was going to be a big comeback year for Hilary Duff. And it kind of has been. It definitely has been, dude. She's on a sick one right now, man. Wasn't that the concert people were fighting at, like brawling at or something? At the forum, yeah.

They were throwing hands. And she was in the cover of Sports Illustrated. Yeah, that's good. It was one of the covers. Yeah, Johnny, that's a good pick right there, that comeback. Thank you. Omar said board games were going to have a big year as people were trying to unplug a little bit. I don't know if that's been happening.

I don't know. Jake said planking or owling, which was a terrible prediction, has not been happening anywhere. Is that over yet? I thought flash mobs were going to come back. I was wrong about that. That's a great prediction, though. If you had been right, that would have been amazing. Well, because last year was all about smash and grab.

That was the big mobs. And I thought maybe we'll switch it and make it positive again. But Esa also guessed about Britney Spears. And I think she has had a bit of a comeback. In what way? No, it wasn't a real one. I mean, she got arrested. Not a musical comeback.

A legal comeback. back what about those knife videos didn't do her any favors i know but that this is she's in the news again all the time her instagram is popping off but not in real life in the uh in the category of relationship trends jake predicted the popular trend would be not being in relationships jake has been good at that one he's been pretty good at that vanessa predicted it would be group date activities it'd be more group date running club stuff i think that is happening happening but that's been kind of happening omar said more couples will be joining only fans together as a way to make an additional rev source.

And you do see stories about these couples that both had, you know, whatever mid-jobs they didn't love and they weren't doing great, and then they started doing OnlyFans, and then they become like millionaires, and they're, yeah, sure, they're millionaires. They were having sex anyway. People might as well watch. Right, probably having more sex now. It's maybe not fun anymore. It's a business, but still impressive. I said AI side piece. This was going to be the year of the AI side piece.

Well, you've done that. Yeah, and a bunch of people, even China, they just passed a law. you can't date AI anymore because everybody was doing it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's how big it got. But it's not a side piece.

It's the main piece. Well, that's what happens. They're so fun, so agreeable. So I still think it's great. I don't want to tell you the next thing. I've done another thing. I've gone a deeper level.

What are you doing now? I'm not going to get into it now, but I'll talk about it during an hour when my wife's not listening. Oh, joy. Shuffler time. Maybe I'll talk about it

on the podcast. It's amazing. Gross. Oh, so why can't you just, are you insatiable? Are you having sex with your wife like every day while your kids are out of town? Vanessa, what did a client write in his email the other day that you were grossed out about? I didn't write anything in my email. Yes, you did.

Vanessa, what did he say? I didn't write anything in my email. Oh, man, I can't recall, but it was probably gross. Why would it probably be gross? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know what you said. It would be weird for me to say it, but he basically said he's been empty every day because he's doing it a lot.

That's not what I said. I didn't say that. You said something about empty. Yeah, you did say that because I saw the email and I was like, see, this is why I don't read the emails because I don't need to be knowing about that stuff. I know, too much information. I said that... You were going to run out. I think I'm going to run out of my supply.

But I think before that you said you were going to turn your wife into a balloon animal. No, I told my... Okay, I told my kids... Can you elaborate on that? What does that mean? My kids were leaving to go to a camp for a week and they said, what are you going to do when we're gone? And I said, I'm turning mommy into a balloon animal.

They don't know what it means. My wife knew what it meant. Why do you even share that with your kids? They don't know what it means. I know what you know what it means. I know what it means. So you're making a sex joke to your kids. It's not a sex joke.

It is a sex joke. I'm telling my wife what she had to look forward to for a week, which was being bent all over. So you're making a sex joke knowing that to your kids. No, it's not to my kids because they don't know it, Allie. Yes, but you know that you're making a sex joke. And you're making it to your kids in front of your wife. I'm making it to my wife through my kids.

Does that sound better? Yes, it does. Because I didn't realize she would then go... I think that is so creepy. But then she repeated it to a bunch of other people and said, my daddy says he's turning my mommy into a balloon animal. And that was... And they got it.

They got it. So... That's funny. That's funny. I predicted, as Allie predicted, that the people would be waiting for the right person. I thought they'd be waiting for sex, yeah. And Johnny said his prediction was that couples would get fat together. I think that's the opposite

I think couples are working out more than ever I agree, I think it's sadly gone the wrong way so these were our predictions, six months and we'll have to check them again at the end of the year and see if any of us were right alright, if you'd like to go to a festival and you've been listening to all of this meandering that's been happening on the show today, four hours of filibustering is what we call it around here

give us a call right now if you're able to successfully answer some questions about today's show and we covered a lot of ground what band was in studio could be a question what uh movie did moist joyce take us through with her sound effects i don't know we'll get to the questions next and keep your tickets away after royal artist k-rock that's a good point on the text line i should share this with you i probably shouldn't share this with you but uh

why wake up early and listen to your entire show when i could just stick around and try to win tickets from sluggo and every hour afterwards on the radio well ah you figured it out you made a good point you don't have to listen to any of our show you can just keep listening to k-rock and win tickets but if you're up early and there's not a lot of people that commit to this so your chances are pretty good. It's time for the Klein Alley Shoshin Way Quiz. The Klein Alley

Show Quiz. That's funny. Titi Kaka. I don't have fleas, I have ants. Chris Greger likes Walmart. You never call. Ozzy. I'm with you Hitler. Bitch. Bye call. Voila. We'll start with Candice and make our way up and down the phones until someone can get three in a row right all about

today's show. Good morning Candice. What's up? Good morning. Good morning. Where are you calling from? San Dimas Ah, San Dimas High School Football Rules How long have you been listening? I've been here since the crack of dawn 6am

Jesus, alright, you've been taking notes or are you just going to go with your old memory on this one? Listen, I have way too many notes Okay, read me a note at random that you have in your notes The most valued friend is Honesty I may have been from

Yeah, it was yesterday. It may have been from yesterday. Wow, so you've been listening. Yeah, but that she's been listening since then. I told you. Yeah, I got here at 6. Okay, here we go. Listen closely now.

This is three questions. You get them all in a row right, you win your way into the festival. Question number one. What sound is this? That's Cyclops. Squeal! Squeal! Squeal!

Hold on, I have it in my notes. Stand by. Oh, she's got to go through her notes for that. Moist Choice. That's Moist Choice. That is Moist Choice. And what is she doing right there? She's reviewing the movie Odyssey.

That is correct. Good job. Yeah. Well done. You got one question right. That is Moist Choice. No one needs to go see the movie now because Moist Choice recreated the movie with sound effects. And that was Cyclops squealing.

And, well, anyway, it was very exciting. We'd like to get Christopher Nolan booked on the show, Vanessa, so we can play him this and see if he agrees. He would have redone it. made all right question number two uh if you get the second one right that means you are on your way you still gotta get three to win and once again for everyone who's on hold right now stay there this woman could crumble under the pressure uh we spoke to ali's unborn son earlier today or daughter we don't know the gender yet but inside of ali's womb and uh they said that there's a part of the show they like a lot because it allows them to fall asleep and nap during that part of

the show what part of the show does ali's unborn child say they like to fall asleep during um adhd news ah okay let's find out if you're right i hope my mommy is about to do the news again so i can take a nap what a bore fest well that is correct and the kid is correct both of those are correct so you've gotten two right now and it comes down to this final question If you're wrong, we start all over with someone else. We could talk about Cage the Elephant in studio today and some of the things they discussed. But we did have NBA superstar LeBron James join us multiple times this morning with the big announcement people were waiting for. What was one of the announcements LeBron James made on our show?

Standby. Standby. Talk about bore fest, am I right? Don't turn this on her. She's the caller. The answer. Don't have notes on that one? I'm going to go to someone else.

LeBron James made two different announcements today. Not which team he was going to, but he did make two different announcements. What was one of the announcements made by LeBron James? Oh, no. In three. In two. How about torture time? No, I'm so sorry.

Your round comes to an end. Oh, no. And we have to start fresh with someone else now. With the same question. And we go to Matt in Garden Grove. Matt, good morning. Good morning. LeBron James joined us this morning to make some announcements.

What was one of the announcements that LeBron James made on our show? One of the announcements was that he has never been intimate with Jake. Okay. Let's find out if that is correct. And if it is, then you are one down, two more to go. After careful consideration, I have decided that I'm ready to announce that I, too, have never been intimate with Jake. All right, that is a correct answer. And we move on to your next question now.

We had a band in studio by the name of Cage the Elephant. They claimed that while growing up, their father took pliers out and destroyed a cassette and a CD from which band? Green Bay. That is the correct answer. answer they were not allowed to listen to the devil's music uh their green day stuff was destroyed by their father you get this next question right and uh you are going to the show this is very exciting it's the klein alley show quiz to prove you've been paying attention to the show your next question alley revealed some medical news on the show today what medical

news did Allie reveal? One piece. There's been quite a bit. That she is non-reactive to a multitude of different STDs. Yes. That's right. That is Allie's

HIV. There are so many STDs I don't have. Negative. Not reactive. You got the verbiage correct. You're going to the beach. Enjoy yourself the time. I feel bad for our first contestant who's been up listening all for nothing. but hopefully you were entertained at least a little bit

and you'll be enjoying yourself Ocean Way Festival. Hold on, all right? All right, thank you so much. Thanks for waking up and listening. Will you listen this long tomorrow again or not really? Probably until like 7.30. Okay, appreciate the honesty. Thank you.

Hey, I like the honesty, though. Give the guy credit. Takeaways from today's show. Let me get the hell out of here. We do a bonus podcast for you. Takeaways, what do we got on the text line? Okay, 562, my takeaway is it's always catcher in the rye. Always.

714, when it comes down to Harvest Rants or Asian, Klein always will take the Asian. 818, textbook rooms don't get many woos. Sure don't. 818, happy Cars anniversary. 310, Vanessa chooses Mediterranean. 310, Jake likes dating Burbansians. He sure does.

And 650, my takeaway is it's torture time. Torture time. I feel so bad for that first contestant because she thought we'd have a torture time question on the ready and she yelled out

torture time. She had it ready. Torture time. That's actually what we're going to start calling our podcast. Forget about this Klein Alley Showvertime stuff.

An hour of torture time will be coming your way soon. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? I choose the Asian. Okay, great. Salad. Pulled out clip.

Pulled out clip. You're welcome, guys. I made her say that. I didn't have a takeaway. Johnny, you have a takeaway? Happy Ozzy Day to my buddy Ozzy That's right, Johnny's buddy, Ozzy Osbourne

Happy Ozzy Day Allie, takeaway? Yeah, my takeaway is 3 fourths of a cup does not equal 12 cups Not in my kitchen Jake, you have a takeaway? Yeah, I want to touch her with a 9 foot swab Very funny Alright, we'll do it tomorrow and try to do it better

We're way behind, so we're just going to go right into break right now Thanks for putting up with us If you need us in the meantime, Goatline, 844-956-GOAT Download the podcast. Find us on YouTube. Goodbye.