Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Earthquake Dangers, Johnny Doesn't Know and MORE

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

What's up for 10 o'clock on a Thursday? Have yourself some breakfast for dinner. Call it BF Thursday. Take a picture. Tag us in it so we can celebrate the greatest meal of the day twice. And since most people skip breakfast around breakfast time, might as well enjoy a breakfast burrito or some eggs over my hammy for dinner. You'll appreciate it, I'm sure.

Eggs! That's right. She said it. That's the official mascot. right there. Not into eggs right now. Oh, really? Yeah, you're like in weird... One day, something sounds good to you. The next day,

you're nauseated by it. You were all about the egg salad last week. Earlier this week. Oh, was that earlier this week? Yeah. Now you're off? Now I'm done with it. Wow. Maybe I'll be back on it tomorrow. I don't know what's going on. Maybe egg salad. I was all excited about it. After two days, I was like, this is the most disgusting thing I could possibly imagine

eating. What you're craving right now? What do you want? What are you into? I never crave sugar, but I want chocolate. but yeah, I want ice cream and froyo. Do you want a bag of M&M's? I have it in my drawer. Emergency M&M's. You want them?

Vanessa, top drawer. Give Allie a pick. My desk. Regular? I got peanut and I got peanut butter. Choice is yours. Oh, wow. What am I going to do?

Oh, those are eggs. I'm sorry. Those are eggs. No! It's just a drawer full of eggs. There you go. Look at that. Bring in Allie.

Double. That was an emergency. I keep that for when Vanessa's getting her lady thing. I keep that in my drawer. In case Vanessa's getting all, you know, moody and whatnot. Vanessa, do you want to split these? I can't even fight you because that's so true. I know.

That's my habit, though. I can tell when Vanessa's being all moody and stuff. I just go to the drawer, grab it. That's right. What do you think, Allie? Good? Yeah. Taking it down.

I like the new flavors that they're making. These are like giant. They almost look like protein M&Ms. They're all jacked. Those are. I should have told you that. 17 grams of creatine in each M&M. So anyway, in a moment, we're going to chat with a guy, if you're done with us dummies.

We've got a really smart guy joining us in moments. His name is Stefan Burns. He is a geophysicist, which I can hardly even read, and he is that. And he has an interesting theory about some of the earthquake activity that's been happening lately in Southern California and Northern California. It's just up and down. What, does he think we're all going to die? Well, he thinks that a couple of faults are happening around the same time. He's got a theory, which he can explain it because I'm not going to be able to do it the right way.

But he's got an interesting theory as to why the big one is here. It's not almost here. It's here. And what are we going to do about it? Nothing. I'm watching the big one right now. Put down a packet of M&M's before my very eyes. And so this man will be on with us in just a few moments so we can all freak the F out together.

Earthquake expert next. K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. I'm sure you have memories of earthquakes if you've lived here for any sort of period of time. And, Al, you were in the... I was in the 89 earthquake. I remember that, up north. In the Bay Area. That happened during the World Series.

It happened during the World Series, yeah. My father-in-law was at the World Series game when it happened. And then there was, of course, a big one here that happened. I mean, the one that people still talk about was... Is that Loma Prieta? No. Is that a different one? I think the one here that people refer to would be Northridge.

I know that you guys get upset when I call the big ones, you know, a couple of times. I'm like, do you guys feel that 3-3 we had today? Yeah. But I remember a while I was missing out on all the earthquakes. I was always in the wrong place. I never got to feel them. I was in the car. People would be like, man, that was a good jolt, and I got nothing.

We were on the air for one. Yeah, I remember that. One time, very quick, fast one. The longer ones are scarier. Yeah, but this guy who knows a lot more and can speak a lot more intelligently about it than we can, he is a geophysicist. And because of some of the earthquakes that happened recently, I think there was a couple of four-pointers that happened in the last week.

Yeah, in like the middle of California, right? Right, but because of where they hit, this is what's interesting, and this is where these guys are way smarter than we are. He's looking at the location of exactly how they hit and which faults they hit, and he thinks that maybe this is the sign of something. And I don't know what's happened. I know we had on What's Her Face Dr. Lucy, and she gave us some intel on earthquakes,

and she's been studying them her whole life. But I'm fascinated to find out what Stefan Burns says about what we are experiencing right now. Good morning, Stefan. Thank you for joining us on KROQ. Hey, good morning. Thanks for having me. So, just, I've described you as a geophysicist.

Just for, I mean, I know what that is, but for everyone else, what does that mean? So, basically, a geophysicist is someone who studies the Earth, and they really study the physical properties. So, think about how sound waves travel through the Earth. Think about how my main field of the planet is. I know, it's very boring. I think it's fascinating.

So let me ask you this. You believe that we're doomed in the immediate future based on what's been happening recently? Well, I don't think we're doomed. I don't think California will fall into the sea. But I do think that we have larger earthquake activity coming. I mean, eventually that will happen. But we do have this, like, 35-year curiosity, if you look through the record, of bigger earthquakes. And Northridge is a good example of how, just in the recent time period, we're at a high in earthquake activity overall.

So we could have something big in 2026. Oh, great. Fun. And what does that have to do with the earthquakes that took place earlier this week in California? Well, the one thing you'll kind of discover as you research into this, and it helps to also research it from a global perspective, because California is one place, and the seismicity that's happening here is kind of slow. Don't make up words, sir. Seismicius, come on.

We're on to you. What does that mean? That's a condition. Yeah. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah. Really, I mean, really dumb it down for Allie.

She's pregnant. Okay. Okay. So there's lower magnitude quakes, like you described the three or two. Those can be important, but generally once you start to get to higher magnitudes, like four, five, six, you start to, you know, place a little bit more important upon them. And the 4.1 that struck in Fraser Park is exactly where the San Andreas and the Garlock Fault meet. Garlock Fault is super overdue.

San Andreas can have up to magnitude 8 earthquakes. I think potentially 8.1, 8.2. Oh, man. We'll have to wait and see. That's huge. That's a big one, Allie. That's good. Oh, really big.

Just wanted to ask you, Stefan, at what number should we be worried or freaking out? Because Klein tends to freak out over a 3-1, 3-2. When is it proper to say, whoa, that was scary? 3-1 is worth, if it happens right by you. I mean, if you're by the epicenter, 3-1 feels like a sixer. Right, sir? It can be a big jolt. I mean, so it depends on the location.

So up north, you have the geysers, the hydrothermal field. And every now and then a magnitude 4 pops off there. And there's always 3s and 2s. That's because of hydrothermal activity. So don't pay much mind. But a magnitude 4.1 right at a key junction, and then exactly the next day, further down the Garlock Fault, up to the northeast, you get a 4.3 in an earthquake swarm with 91 events. Now it's like a pattern and a trend that's emerging, showing you the evolution of strain across that fault and how it's shifting, and that's a major junction for the San Andreas. So it's the patterns that really leap out to you that cause you to take note.

And, you know, then you can start to think, well, maybe is this a sign for some bigger strain release to occur? Are you currently wrapped in bubble wrap right now? I just came back to California, though. I don't know why I flew back here. I'm flying into the danger zone. But what are you predicting? Are you predicting a bigger quake that would happen in that exact area? or is there still a possibility that there could be a giant earthquake in the ocean

that would then trigger a giant tsunami? Because that's Vanessa's freak. She's going to freak out about that. Yeah. So the magnitude 4s and the swarms that they've had on the Garlock Fault aren't necessarily enough to relieve pressure on that fault. And you do often get this preliminary activity before a bigger quake occurs. And that has usually a pretty distinctive signature. So this doesn't feel exactly like that.

It more so feels like, okay, time to pay attention to California again, because we also had that 5.6 up in Ukiah and Willits just a week or two before. So that's a big earthquake in a historic area that doesn't get these sort of earthquakes. You claim in a recent article you said that we are locked and loaded for a major rupture. You believe that that is the condition we're currently in, correct? Yeah, yeah, because you look at the reoccurrence interval and you look at the the strain rates i've been building up and there's paleo seismic studies so basically looking at past ruptures on faults from hundreds of years ago they have ways of

measuring that uh yeah things are locked and loaded and there's been tons of uh earthquake activity all around north america like for example alaska and then kamchaka the ring of fire it all has to balance out at the end of the day and california is the one place that hasn't had a big move and everywhere else has so we're not going to be lucky forever so you think we're up like you think our time is now and it's probably not going to be five years or 10 years from now but as you said we could have something pretty serious 2026 yeah for sure and i mean i think the furthest out you have that 35 year rhythm that i mentioned so if we get to 2030 2032 we don't have something big then maybe it kind of slides off until the next 30 year peak

because we see this clustering like 89 94 right you mentioned those yeah that was during the last peak and so that might be just our kids problem that's nice and is there there's nothing we can do as far as alleviating the stress you know like you we can't have metallica do a concert and create some kind of an earthquake to relieve some of the stress on these fault lines and prevent the big one uh well i mean there's nuclear things that perhaps they could do the government with bombs, but it may actually trigger the big ones. Oh, man.

So it could prevent it or could cause it? I always used to think, and I know this is going to be probably a little hard for you to understand, doctor, but like the little earthquakes that happen are kind of like the earth's farting. It's letting out a little gas. Like those little ones, right?

And you do that so it doesn't completely blow ass and have a big one, right? Is that scientific? it in your situation yes in your situation in your situation a bomb would not fix it right so these magnitude fours uh haven't really released any notable stress on the garlock fault but they could be you know they're they're more so messengers of of what's happening and if you look specifically at the type of earthquakes they were They tell a story that's a little bit beyond here, but there's more to that than just, you know, the magnitudes and locations.

You can really piece together an evolution of what's happening on that fault and then how that connects into the San Andreas. That's why this is important. Stephan Burns on with us has close to a million people following him on his YouTube channel, YouTube videos where he talks about earthquakes, etc. And you probably are, I would imagine, one of the leading experts in the world on all things earthquakes. If you were going to bet a million dollars on us getting something north of a five in Southern California, California this year, you would bet the money on yes? August looks hot. August could be. It could also be end of July.

I mean, those are two critical months that I'm looking at. Okay. I just want to make sure and see if I should pay this credit card bill or not. Yeah, I know. I've got that in a situation with the IRS. Should I take care of that? Wait. So just wait for the earthquake to hit and then just be a declared missing person.

Great. Cool. Just fade away. We have a plan. Well, listen, this has been very informative. And dumb on our part. Freaking out. Thank you for spending some of your time with us.

Our listeners appreciate you as well. And this is, by the way, a lot of people say this guy sounds hot. Is he single? Are you hot and single? He goes, so it's a requirement for being down here. I don't know what he said. Thank you, guys. Your phone cut out.

What are you? Hello? Oh, yes, yes, sir. Yes, sir. You're single? Maybe not hot. Single, though. Ladies, this guy, someone wants to date a California geophysicist.

That is a brag to mom. Man. You even have a smart name. Stefan. There we go. There you go. Thank you for this intel, and we will, regardless of the fact if you want us to or not, we will call you again. Sounds great.

Look forward to it. All right. Thanks so much. Appreciate it. Quick break. We're back with more show next, at least we think. Who knows? We could fall in the ocean by then.

All right. One question to make you feel smarter about yourself, perhaps. Win something from K-Rock. I think we'll actually give away the first official Make Ali Fat Again hat. They have not arrived yet, but they should be here in moments. So if you're able to predict whether or not Johnny will know the answer to a very easy question, you will be the first proud wearer of a MAFA hat, Make Ali Fat Again. And those hats arriving any moment now here at KROQ.

Thanks to our friends at Print Guru for hooking us up with these hats so we can give them to our listeners. And we say good morning to a lot of people that want to play the game. Oh, look at that. Look who's on the phone. Let me just figure something out. Bless you. Excuse. Thank you.

Hey, one-armed Gary. Yeah. Did you get your other arm? I get it today. Oh, my God. I feel like every time we talk to you, you're like flying cars. You're always, like, just in the future. It's never actually happening.

I thought we talked to you before the 4th of July. You were about to get your other arm. Right. On your birthday, I was supposed to get my arm. And remember? And I was going to come by and show it to you. And they didn't have it, whatever, this and that. They never have it.

And then I said, look, when I get it, I'm going to go to K-Rock and show them my arm. So, I mean, it's going to be a big deal. And they go, oh, well, it's coming for sure today. So I'm going to go there at 12. So today at noon, you're getting your second arm. Right. So hopefully if I get it tomorrow in the morning, I'm going to come by and show it to you. Are you buying this from a back alley?

How are you like, it's coming today. You'll get it when you get it. It's a custom arm, right? It's through insurance. And you're putting on a pull cue. But doesn't she need insurance to go through that and like install it into him? Like doesn't he need surgery? No, no.

This thing's going to clip on. I'm sure he didn't get one. It's probably magnetic or something. Yeah. How do they attach it to your nub? I just put a rubber on, and then I put it in there and slipped it on. It's like suction. He needs a rubber.

All right. Well, look, I'm excited. Tomorrow, a one-armed Gary, we will see you here with your brand-new arm. We'll do a christening of your new arm, okay? Right on. Man, I wonder if I could beat him in pool with his pool cue arm. Oh, we're going to do it now. Yeah, let's do it.

Put up another $1,000. The one-grand two-hand pool tournament is back. All right. Well, good luck, Gary. Don't be a stranger. If you get that other arm, come on by. If you don't, be a stranger. Call us back in a month and say,

today's the day. Let me say hi to Jake, a different Jake, thank God, in Culver City who would like to play the game Johnny Doesn't Know. Hey, what's up, Jake? Hey, how you doing? One question, one question only. It's time for Johnny Doesn't Know.

Johnny doesn't know. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in VAT for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know Gelato sounds like jello Johnny doesn't know

It like goes Wiggles Yesterday here at work There was a retirement party that took place For someone that has been here for 35 years Which is unheard of Never seems to happen But this man who will remain nameless

Was here for 35 years Kevin And that's right Kevin Graham And yesterday was a big retirement party In the middle of his speech Thanking everyone for being supportive Allie apparently. He did cry

because he wasn't sure if you were going to make it and then you weren't there so he was pretty upset about it. I had to get somewhere. People were asking where you were. Oh stop it. They were. Nobody asked. I don't think anybody asked. Three people asked me including our boss. Well that's what happens when you're

not the people. Forget it. But I did strategically as the speech was ending shuffle my way over to the food table and then right when they said alright everyone get something to eat I was like boom Second person in line, first out the door. That's a great move. Who was first?

You know, some lady I've never seen before. But I had mad respect for her. There's a lot of people I've never seen before. Well, the reason I bring this up is because the question for Johnny today is, what is a pension? Will Johnny know what a pension is, yes or no? All you have to do is predict, will he know or will he not know Jake? Ooh, I think he does know.

You think he does know. Okay, every once in a while, Johnny gets one of these right, and we're all surprised. Johnny, what is a pension? um it's like about money and your job and i know it's different than a 401k a pension is like money you put uh that gets taken out of your salary and gets put into like some sort of like account for you and then it grows over time you can't take it out but once you get old like kevin and you like retire then you receive your pension so like after all those years of working you get your

money back so kevin graham is probably sitting on a high pension right now after working all those years. Not 100% right, but close enough, John. I'm impressed you knew any of that. I thought you were going to think it was something they served at the... I was so convinced. I think that was next to the tacos. I did get confused about when people get a pension, because not everyone gets one. No, and a lot of times there's unions

involved, like unions are the ones... Because 401k, anyone can have. Yeah, but teachers, etc., if you work a job a certain amount of time, you get this... You qualify for a pension. Right, and you get some sort of kind of non-stop salary even after you're out.

All right, Johnny, you were close enough. Jake, congratulations. You're the first official owner of a MAFA Make Alley Fat Again hat. Good job. Unless you would like a I've Never Been Intimate With Jake t-shirt. Well, that would be interesting because you also have the name Jake. We do have a lot of merch coming today to KROQ. Do you want the MAFA hat or the I've Never Been Intimate With Jake shirt?

I think I'll take the hat. All right. The hat makes me laugh. Get yourself a Mapa hat Hold on one second Don't worry there's plenty of people that want the I've never been intimate with your shirts No the shirts are sick they're actually really fire

I'm going to wear one Jake would you be happy to know that we've contacted your ex-girlfriend Who's agreed to model the shirt for our No I would not be happy Well we have Do you guys have a whole website With all your exes Yeah but technically I guess some of them have been intimate with Jake

Yeah you gotta take that shirt off all right congratulations johnny you're a genius uh wrap up the show with takeaways after this if you got anything you'll bring with you in your lives that we covered on the show today earthquake related stuff parenting stuff dental scams and much much more you can call us now 800-520-1067 we'll do takeaways we'll get the hell out of here and then sluggo will be coming by with more disneyland four packs for you coming up this morning and afternoon on k-rock takeaways get the hell out of here sluggo's in with more of those disneyland tickets and then you'll win them again.

Megan, Kevin, I'll have them for you coming up again at three and six. So three more chances to get yourself four tickets. Basic math means 12 more Disney tickets today. We'll do them again tomorrow morning. Also tomorrow morning on the show, it's $500 Friday, chance to win some of Allie's cash.

$500 could be yours bright and early. Please, if you're celebrating or enjoying breakfast for dinner, BF Thursday style, tag us in any pictures of your dinner breakfast feast so that we can repost. And that's all at the Klein Allie Show. There's a podcast that goes with the show.

You can download. You can also find us on YouTube, clips of the show. And if you're wondering what things look like here, including just how hot Allie was yesterday drinking that Air One. The Air One effect is real. It is the Air One, not I. It was magnified by the fact you had five cups in front of you. So if you look a little hotter holding one cup, imagine. It was a five and I became a nine.

Yeah, if you walk around just holding nine or ten bags and cups of Air One, apparently people just assume you're way hotter than you are. It's crazy. That is a scientific theory that we've proven on the show today. Takeaways, and then we'll officially get the hell out of here and leave you with Sluggo. What do we got in the World of Takeaways alley? 626, there's a gazy river on Sunset. Watch out, big flood in West Hollywood. 909, when Klein's kids are away, he needs his medicine.

What do you need? 714, ball gags help you sleep better. Mm-hmm. Let's see. 714, my takeaway is congratulations to smelly-ass Todd. 818, the fancier the font, the bigger the scam. 650, sweet damn it. And 818, my takeaway is the heat wave is drying up Moist Joyce.

I think it's the opposite. I think she's sprouting. Yeah. I'm hot as hell. Oh, you don't want to know. It's very moist. Yeah, it's going to start sprouting. Oh, God.

Oh, good God. Think about that for a moment. And that Klein's wife would rather organize the entire house than have sex with him. I mean, she's going inside of, not only inside of rooms, she's going inside of drawers of rooms. She's finding areas to organize that are... That didn't exist before. Yeah. They've never been organized.

She's never once asked to look at the stack of mail that is just sitting in a drawer. And all of a sudden, she's like, we should really go through all this. I'm like, are you serious? You're picking this stack of old catalogs over sex? In her defense, she can have sex with you and then still have plenty of time to go through the mail. That's my argument. It's like a speed bump on the way to the mail. Yeah, but once you're in the organizing phase, it is tough to get out of it.

You can't be pulled away for things like sex. You've got a mission. It is beyond frustrating. the amount of excitement she has about she's like... It does sound exciting. I kind of want to go over and help her. Oh, god damn it. It's great. When do you have time to do that without kids in the house?

You never do, but you'll never catch up, so what's the point? What's your takeaway there, Jake the Nerd? I can't go out tonight. My simissius is acting up. That simissius, that'll get you every time. What's your takeaway, Vanessa? As long as it's covered by insurance, Klein is down for anything.

I don't care what they want to do. That's right. As long as it's covered. Thank you, bitch. Very flirty. Takeaway there, Johnny? The only way to fix your chi is with some D. That's a good one.

That's from Buddha right there. Omar, takeaway? It was taken. Ali, takeaway? My takeaway is beware of the fart lines. And that's what's going to get us. Thank you for our guests all joining us today on the show. Do it again tomorrow.

Try to do it better. Here's a helpful jingle to remind you to listen to us. Oh, tomorrow we'll be blowing out all this new merch also. So get yourself a I've Never Been Intimate with Jake shirt tomorrow, a Make Alley Fat Again hat, a Maffa hat tomorrow. I think we have some other limited edition run Klein Alley Show hats. So we'll be hooking you up tomorrow. And between now and then, here's a song so you remember us.

Here we go. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just okay. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.