Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- El Cheapo, Johnny's J.A.S.O.N and MORE

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Follow 20, let's go. Get you into all them water parks. It'll be the wettest summer ever. Funnest summer guaranteed. What's more fun than floating in a lazy river? Or going down the water slide when the guy yells at you with a whistle? I said no. I said not face first.

No horseplay. They use the horseplay word. Got thumbs ups at the bottom. You can go now. Pull out a tonic wedgie out. A badgie. happens when you do those water slides, Allie. There's no stopping it.

I know, but it's, you know, when I went to Wild Rivers with Vanessa, I saw the pure joy in people's faces as they ended the water slides, as they were getting covered with water, almost drowning in the best way possible. It's pure joy. We get you in right now to Wild Rivers,

not Soak City, Six Flags, Oregon Harbor, Los Angeles. Don't pick your park because you get to go to all of them and four tickets for each happening again right now. Call it 20-800-520-1067. If you can't get through the show live because people are calling to win stuff, then maybe the GOAT line is for you. And someone wants to say that they understand Allie for the first time ever. And listen to this person. Hey, guys.

So I'm taking my late-night walk, and I go up this, like, pretty high hill. And at the bottom of the hill, there's a bunch of houses. And I'm walking by, and, you know, people have their lights on. And, obviously, you look inside the windows, like Allie says. And, bam. Look inside the windows, like Allie says. I'm just saying keep your head on a swivel. You like your legacy?

Allie's a big peeper. She said before that whenever she walks around and she sees open windows, she will stop and peek. And this woman was going on an evening hike, called us, because she sounds winded, by the way, very out of breath. She does. She's going on a walk. She's peeping. Listen to what she saw. And bam, there's a couple in it.

So obviously I stopped and I watched for a minute because I'm a normal human being. So she's walking on a hike and she sees a couple doing it. And she doesn't just keep walking. She stops and she takes in a show. Yeah. Like Allie would. Like Allie's said before, she's a peeper of opportunity. This is why I like walking around neighborhoods, especially nice neighborhoods that I don't live in.

Right, because you get to look inside and see rich people doing it. And the point is, I think that, number one, if you don't want people to watch, close your damn blinds. Yes. Number two, I think that next time there's a Lighting Friday, Omar needs to be on the hot seat because he was acting like Ali's such a pervert and we need to ask him if he would stop and watch and or record because maybe I'd consider that for a second.

I didn't do it. I wouldn't do it. But I thought about it. Have a good day. Bye. I mean, that would definitely separate it to the next level. If you saw a couple, you're out on a walk,

you're peeping on a couple. It's human nature. If you're watching couples having sex, you're going to look for a second. Yeah, I admitted that. Yeah, Omar said he would do that too. But Allie actually, like, sets up shop there. Yeah, she lingers.

Yeah, they kind of walk on. She'll go home and get her chair, yeah. If there's an even surface to put my tripod, I might sit there for a bit. Right. And most people, I think, would just keep the walk. I would watch while I walked, but once I got out of range. Yeah, but you slow down the walk. Yeah, you slow down a little bit.

Yeah, you slow down a lot of it. I mean, it depends what the couple looks like, right? I pretend to pick up my dog's poop, and I don't even have a dog. Just been in there for a while. Hey, Maria, you're on KROQ from Woodland Hills, California. Good morning. Good morning. You are the 20th caller at this exact moment,

which means we have lots and lots of water in your future. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Summer, funner summer guarantee happening all summer long. It all starts with us in the morning, and we'll make it worth your while with tickets and access and trips around the country, et cetera, et cetera.

Blink-182 now. And then more show on KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. Good morning. The Rock, my alley show. You know, we just entered the month of July. And according to some people, mainly Postmaster Johnny, we've officially entered the most fun time of the year. Not just because it's summer, but he believes that Jason, as it's affectionately known as, which stands for July, August, September, October, November, is the greatest stretch of months you get all year long.

Because he said that's when everything happens. That's when all the good stuff happens. Starts with Fourth of July festivities and barbecues, et cetera. wraps up with Thanksgiving dinner and all of the fun about that. But he claims that everything just happening between the shows, the events, the concerts, it is the greatest stretch of months that we have.

And he's super excited that we have now officially re-entered Jason. It's the best. And he claims that he's been working very hard on putting together something which none of us can find, Johnny. I don't know where you put it, but it's not in the system.

It's not in there, it's there. I don't see it. It's not here. But Johnny claims that he wanted to share with you all the greatest moments that you can look forward to, at least one thing that's happening all of these months ahead. This is Johnny's first Jason report. It's a Jason report.

They're supposedly going to have this great new theme song and everything, but it's just not here. He said he worked on it, but I don't see it, Johnny. We're doing a live radio show. Log into my Voxpro really quick. Maybe it's in my profile. Log into your Voxpro. We're live on KROQ.

I'm not logging into anything. We should have prepped this, man. Prepped it. We had it prepped. We should have prepped it. You should have said, hey, make sure it's ready. We said that. We did make sure you said.

And it was ready. It's in there. It's just my profile. It's not in there, Johnny. It's not in there. It's not in here. Oh, you're blowing it. We're blowing it.

Oh, my God. I'm going to slap you across your stupid face. We're in the system. We're with all the stuff. I can play anything we have. I'm in your folder, Johnny. There's nothing here. It's right there at the bottom.

It should say Jason Helicopter. Jason Helicopter? Jason. Well, that's clearly why we're not finding it. I see something called Jason Hella. Oh, yeah, that's it. Jesus Christ. I'm Hella over this bit.

And now we're checking in with Johnny, who's currently flying high above the KROQ studios now to report on all things happening with his first official Jason report. All right, here we go. So we're kicking off, Jason, correctly with the 4th of July. It is the greatest American holiday where we celebrate barbecues, fireworks, and, of course, my favorite, freedom. Yeah, I don't know why of all of the helicopters that have crashed recently, this one can't be one of them.

Oh, we're flying strong. And we're kicking it off the next week with 7-Eleven Day, which is, of course, free Slurpee Day. You're out of music, Ben. That's it? That's what you're putting there? My helicopter must have flown away. But remember, it is free Slurpee Day on 7-Eleven. That's your only report?

Only for the first two weeks. I don't want to blow the whole load yet. Hell yeah, Jason. Trust me, you blew the load already. Trust me, we should have brought this. Anything else, Johnny? You've got four months ahead, five months ahead of greatness, and you've given us free Slurpees on 7-Eleven Day?

Free Slurpees and America's Barbecue on the 4th of July. That's all we need for the first two weeks. Your events that you're sharing are the 4th of July and Slurpee Day? That sounds great to any kid and to anybody. Did we shoot down the chopper? Thank God. This is my Vietnam listening to this right now. Guys, this is our fault.

It is our fault. We need to get it together. Yeah, we played ourselves. Not going to lie, we played ourselves hard right now. Johnny. We played something. You played something, but it wasn't the right one. Johnny, you said, I'm working on a thing.

It's done. It's obviously done. It's completed with the voiceover and everything. It's just not in the right folder. Why is that our fault? That's nobody's fault. I'm not saying it's somebody's fault. I'm just saying it's in the wrong folder.

You just said that we messed up here, Johnny. And we played ourselves. We played ourselves, man. We all played ourselves. I thought you said you have five or six things to get Jason. I do, but I gave two because I didn't want to do the whole month right away. Come back for the next week, and we'll do the second and third week. I'm not coming back to this ever again.

Yeah, we're done. We also talked about this in advance. We spoke about this off the air. We had a meeting about it. Yeah, it's done. It's completed. It's in there. Well, it's not in your folder, and it's not in our folder, man. It's in my folder. Johnny, if you were going to give us a third thing to look forward to in Jason,

I don't want to blow your load for next week. We're going to blow it right now, but The Fray is performing at the Bellwether, and it's going to be an amazing show because they are the greatest department store music band ever, and I love The Fray. Okay. That's the third week. So that's a sneak peek? A little sneak peek, and that's also the only thing happening.

Oh, I gotta know what's the fourth. All right, the fourth week is Spider-Man Brand New Day. It's coming out in theaters July 29th, and that is going to be the movie of the summer, Spider-Man Brand New Day. So you got all that to look forward to in the month of July. You know what I'm not looking forward to is doing this ever again. We gotta take a break.

Oh, come on, let's see if we can get worse. What's the next week? Do you have the next week planned? August? No, no, no. There's only, we only go up to the 30th or 31st in July. So that's it for July. All right. Well, there you have it, guys. Once again, point proven.

Going to come back in a moment, believe it or not, with El Cheapo on a thrifty Thursday. She's going to be reporting from a helicopter. I am. And we're going to find out ways that you can cheap out while still going out to eat and more after this. Hey, Rock on L.E. Show. El Cheapo's here to save you tons of money. She makes it her mission to usually make her life way more complicated just to save a couple of bucks. But these days, what used to be frowned upon, people would make fun of her behind her backs, call her things to her face.

My backs? Yeah. Use my room. Multiple backs? I thought you knew that. I thought you knew that we said you had many backs. All of my backs. You talked me behind all of them simultaneously.

It's impressive. We can't all fit behind just one of your backs. It's all of them. So Allie gets shamed a lot. She's backs it up. I'm backsing. Oh, I just ran into my other back. So she's here today to help you save a little bit of money while you're going out to eat.

You know she loves that. Eating out is Allie's favorite thing to do. It's time to talk to the kingpin of cheap. Here she is, El Cheapo. Why don't you back it on up into an American Tire Depot for all of your car needs. needs, you can go to AmericanTireDepot.com. But, of course, to have a funner summer, you do

want to go out to eat every once in a while, and it has gotten insanely unaffordable. So I have four tips on how to save money at a restaurant. And if you abide by these rules, I believe you will save hundreds if not thousands of dollars this summer. Is this that thing where you put like a

piece of glass in your food when you're done with it? No, there's nothing that's mean to the restaurant. I promise. Maybe a little annoying, but not mean. Yeah, because these These places are just trying to stay afloat with their full 10% margins anyway. It's very hard to succeed as a restaurant. These are just little things. So, for example, before you go out to eat, eat.

Make sure you eat a little snack at home. If you're going to be drinking, have a little drink at home. All right? Just a little something. A little charcuterie board, a little appy, a little drink. Just to get yourself going so that when you get to the restaurant, you're not starving and overordering. I do like the, most of what you said is stupid right there, but the pre-drink drink, I like that part of it. I like the drink at home so that when you go in there, some people say.

You're not desperate for a drink. Yeah, like a table's not ready. You want to go to the bar and have a drink. It's a little scam restaurant's pull to try to get you to spend a little bit more money. But that's okay. You can still have that drink. But now at least that's not your first drink. You've already had one.

Exactly. By the time the second, third one goes down. Or you just wait for having a drink with dinner or whatever. Maybe you cut it from three drinks to two or one drink, whatever. That's probably 15 bucks right there that you're going to save. And if you don't get any appetizers because you already had a little something at home, that's probably $20 to even $50 that you could be saving. A little flask of vodka in the jacket.

You order a little club soda. A little sparkling water for the table. Split a bottle of wine that you got from Trader Joe's before you go there. Drive responsibly. Then, the second tip is to explore and make your decision about the menu before you go. Especially if this is a new restaurant. You don't want to be like, I don't know. Especially if you're talking to somebody that you're just catching up with.

You're not paying attention to the menu. and then you just make rash decisions. You're like, I don't know, I'm just going to get the tacos because it's the easy thing, not necessarily the cheapest thing. So you want to consider all this before you leave so you know in your mind what you're ordering. I don't like this at all. Everything you're saying, my wife does this thing.

We'll be driving to a restaurant. She'll have the Yelp up for the restaurant and be reading reviews from what people thought about specific dishes. And I like to go in there and be surprised. I don't do a lot of reading, so menus are pretty much the only book I get. And I like to be surprised when I open it up, and I like to look down and go, whoa, look at that. Yeah, but then you have to spend time studying. You don't want to spend that time in the restaurant.

You want to spend that time talking and enjoying. No, I don't. I don't want to talk. I want to read the menu. I look at the menu. I treat the menu like it's a great story. Here's where your night begins. Yeah, this is where it all begins right here, and this is where potentially it ends.

That's why some people don't even put the desserts on the menu. They have to bring a separate one for that, and I don't like that. I like to see it all up front. No, and don't fill up on bread because you don't want to then not have room for your meal. But when your meal does come, say, thank you so much. And they say, can I get you anything else? And you say, yeah, give me a box right away. You take half that meal.

You put it in a box. You save it for later. That's two meals in one. Yes, all these places give you giant meals. You're not going to eat the entire burger. Just cut it in half. Put the other half in a box. Put it away.

Don't think about it. You can clear off your plate. And then you can have a second meal tomorrow. When I'm gambling, I'll do something similar. Like once I get back to where I started at, I'll take what I was. I started with sat down $200. I put that in my pocket. Pretend I don't even have those chips.

Play with the profits. Trick yourself. So you fool yourself because if it's on the plate, you'll probably eat it. Exactly. Or God forbid, you look away for a second. They come and clear your plate and take it away. What happened there? There was still some food there.

Yeah, put it away, have the meal, and just stick it under the table wherever so that you don't think about it. When they come, when they first bring you your food, you say, and a box. I'm going to need a box right away. My final tip is to create a family no-add-on policy. This is where they really upcharge you. If you're getting a salad or whatever, it's $20.99 maybe at first. Then it's like an extra $8 if you add chicken. $9 for steak.

$10 for salmon or shrimp. Shrimp's a treat. Yeah, don't do it. Have a no-add-on policy. Even if you're gluten-free and you spend $3 or $4 extra on that gluten-free bun, just don't do the bun. It's not worth it. I think most of the add-ons are both overrated and way, way overpriced. So you're saying if someone wants something, even if that's what they want, you say no.

No add-ons. You cannot have that. If you skipped add-ons completely when you were going out to restaurants, I bet you would save hundreds of dollars. And then finally, my pickup tip is if you are ordering pickup and there are any sides that you can make at home, like something easy like rice, that will save you a lot of money over time. A lot of times when we get Asian food, I have rice at home. I have plenty of rice at home. I don't charge that much for rice, though.

Well, even $2. You're saving it. Usually rice is kind of thrown in. Yeah, but you add all these sides just because you're in your peak laziness mode. If there's anything like bread and rice that you have at home that you don't have to add on, great. There's El Cheapo sucking all the fun out of going out to eat for you. I have lots of fun. Saved a couple of bucks.

Would you like to add some steak to your salad? No, you cannot. No add-ons. Just lettuce in a box. Feed me. Oh, my God. This is how I fill out my bags. Your family's going to have a lot of fun with you in Hawaii, I'm sure.

So at KROQ, we are Kline Alley Show. Do some takeaways. Wrap things up next on KROQ. KROQ, Kline Alley Show. Write that down on our many list of ideas. By the way, Jake, we're looking at this prototype already. A shirt has been made. I have not had intercourse with Jake's shirt.

I have not been intimate with Jake. Excuse me. I'm reading the shirt wrong. I have not been intimate with Jake. These shirts are potentially being made as we speak, so get ready for the greatest limited edition drop we've had in our merch store in a while. You excited about this, Jake?

Oh, I'm stoked. I want one. I'm a medium. Okay, this is very exciting. Actually, a large baby. Thanks, Vanessa. I love him. You gotta have one up in your back. Vanessa, the music is so mean.

I was thinking about her belly. Allie just... I was thinking about her baby. Allie just reserved a medium shirt, and Vanessa yelled, no, no, a large. That is the greatest. God, Vanessa, you are cold. That was being nice. That was not being nice.

I was thinking about your baby. Thinking about your fat stomach, is what she's saying. All right. You got a fat stomach. Let's get into takeaways from today's show. Okay. Get out of here. Let's get out of here.

213, my takeaways. Teddy Roxman is one of our greatest presidents. Yeah, he sure was. 818. Should have been a two-timer for sure. Two terms, two terms. 818, Klein's neck gets the puppy patty flying Dutchman. 818, Bud Light Bros are not cousins.

That's blasphemy. 310, Klein loves blimps and bison. Yeah, sure do. 909, Allie was born 200 years too late. 310, K-Rock has the most powerful microphones now. Oh, so powerful. 818, the throat goat needs her meh. 714, shout out Hancocks.

and 909 my takeaway is Allie is a shipper and Klein is a blimper that's right if you don't know what we're talking about you probably don't at this point you should check out the complete show wherever you get your podcasts you can listen listen along people I don't want to ever disparage or not give enough credit

to the podcast listeners that don't ever have the opportunity to listen to our show because of their work hours or because they don't have a car and so thank you and I know that sometimes you know you think of someone who sits around and just downloads podcasts as some weirdo But I want to point out that this podcaster who left the message is definitely no weirdo. What up, guys?

I'm catching up on the podcast right now. Listening to you guys talk about the chores or whatever. It reminded me that I'm not allowed to do my girlfriend's laundry anymore because I sniff her underwear before I actually wash it. Yeah. Sorry about that, guys. Anyways, 5.20 in the morning. Hope you guys have a great day. It's a podcast listener right there.

Not allowed to do his girlfriend's laundry anymore because he smells them. Nothing wrong with that guy. I love that then he apologized to us about that. Yeah, thanks for sharing. Goat Line's there for you when we're not. Goat Line doesn't take a day off for the 4th of July. So you can go ahead and leave messages on the Goat Line, 844-956-GOAT. What's your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny?

You can still find boomers at the Depot. The Depot. Just the Depot. Try that again, Johnny. Johnny, what's your takeaway, buddy? You can still find boomers at the Depot. Now I hear you, loud and clear. Now it makes sense.

Vanessa, you have a takeaway from today's show? Yeah. Johnny was found in the streets of L.A. by Klein. That's right. Oh, yeah. Takeaway, Jake the Nerd. Hey, I want a Henry. Yeah, Henry the Eighth.

Gotta get yourself a Henry. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is shout out to the little girl on the coin. Oh, little girl living life on a coin. And DJ Omar Khan, final takeaway from today's show. No, no, a large baby. For the baby. It's nice.

Have a decent day. We will try to do it again tomorrow or not. That's it for us. Goodbye. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Just okay.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.