Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Fat Ally, A Show Quiz and MORE

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock. Alright, better late than never. Let's get you into it at the top of every hour, starting at 9 o'clock this morning, heading straight through 5 p.m. this afternoon.

You get into festivals happening right here in Southern California. Earlier this morning, we sent someone to a three-day Ohana Fest. Today, at this exact hour, we get you into Ohana, excuse me, Ocean Way. Oh, that's a good one right there. Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more happening in Santa Monica. This is an inaugural festival, which means first year they're doing it. And you will be there in the audience if you are the 20th caller right now at 800-520-1067. That means in 20 years when it's all influencers and A-listers, you're like, I was the first one there.

Right, all those people that talk about, I was at the first Coachella. It was just about the bands, man. There was no Ferris wheel. The music, man. Yeah, and there's going to be no Ferris wheel in Santa Monica. Oh, wait, there is one. Well, regardless, it was always been there. So we'll get you there right now if you're the 20th caller, 800-520-1067.

And then we have lots to get to this hour on the show, including Endless Summer Kegger. If you have been paying attention to today's show, got some quiz questions to prove you've actually been listening. And we are running out of time and people are getting desperate out. There's a lot of people that are demanding access to the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. And calling the GOAT line is great and all, but we've got to do fair's fair, and we will get you in. You've just got to listen and be ready to call later this hour. Once you get there, you can say, I was there before all the A-listers and the influencers took it over and made it not cool. And if we do it in 20 years, there will still be no A-listers or influencers,

but it will still be a good opportunity for us to get together and hang out. And listen, I get it. I would love to do my first keg stand with you guys. That means I only have, like, a couple days to get my upper body strength going, but kind of now I show you this freaking rock and hope you guys do this forever or something better, actually. But, yeah, you guys are awesome. You got to start doing your upper body push-ups now just on the off chance

that you keg stand with us at the kegger. So it's one of many events we have planned for you on Thursday of this week. It's funny because there are several people I've reached out, people who have never done a keg stand before and people who were really good at it back in the day that would like to show off their ability to still properly do a keg stand. One guy claimed that he can polish off a keg with three keg stands. One guy.

Jake, that would kill a man, right? That's impossible. Jake says impossible. There's a whole, like an actual keg keg and that, like some tiny pony keg thing? There's no way. I bet somebody like Joey Chestnut could do it. No. Yeah, I bet the Bud Light Bros could do it together, side by side.

I don't think that he could do a handstand. That's true. That's a good point. I'm not carrying them. Not it. It's the cake part's no problem. It's the stand part that'll get to them. All right, well, Johnny said not it, so Vanessa has to carry it.

Hey, Patrick in Long Beach, California, good morning. Good morning. You are... Sweet dips. Sweet dips to you, good sir. 20th caller, which means Oceanway is in your future. Congratulations. Oh, my God, that's so awesome.

All you had to do was listen and call, and you made it through. And just like that now, you get to go ahead and brag to your friends and family that you are a big, fat winner. Congratulations. Hold on one second. I'm so fat. You are fat. Good.

Thank you for saying that. That's Patrick. Do a kickstand with us. Join the party. We will enjoy that. More show coming up all hour long right here on KROQ. I just want to congratulate Fat Allie. You know, it was a dream of ours.

They say many years ago, if you build it, they will come. And our goal when Allie decided to start taking health seriously and signing up for marathons and all that crap. Not marathons, but 10Ks. Well, whatever, 5Ks and 10Ks. Little ones. We all said behind the scenes, we've got to figure out a way to get Fat Allie back. And sure, it took a few attempts at pregnancy to make that happen, but this weekend... Oh, it was my fattest weekend ever.

And having a fat weekend is something that I think needs to be celebrated. I know some people will say, oh, Sunday's my cheat day, and I eat whatever I want on Sunday. But looking back and going, I did some damage this weekend, it's a great feeling. I mean, yes, if you're trying to make gains and progress, it sucks when you go out there... Oh, I'm making gains. Ali is making all the right gains. Listen to this weekend she had. If anyone can top this, we'd love to hear from you.

This was this weekend alone. And once again, Ali is growing a life inside of her now. So it's just like, I think there's two reasons you're allowed to get super fat, no questions asked. Pregnant woman or you're an actor who's bulking up for a role like in The Whale. And that's not me. And that's not you. So in this particular case, when you get pregnant, you have an opportunity. Or maybe you're in some sort of like a competitive tug-of-war team or something.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I started the day, let's see, Saturday I started the day with pancakes, like chocolate chip pancakes that I made. That was the start of Saturday. That was the start of Saturday. What about nothing Friday? Oh, God. We ordered food on Friday. I can't even remember in my fat calendar what I ate on Friday night.

Thursday after the show there was that lunch in here. Did you pause it? Yeah, I ate a lot of that. You did? Well, because I left the meeting and had a burger during the meeting. Yeah, oh, that's right. And then I came back and filled my plate with more burgers and wings. Okay, this is great.

So we're in the middle of this meeting. They're showing us boring graphs and blah, blah, blah. We have no money, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Allie leaves during the meeting like a squirrel, puts two mini cheeseburgers in both of her cheeks. They were those little sliders. They weren't that little. They're like smaller than White Castle.

She comes back into the meeting with her cheeks puffed out with two, and that was, you couldn't even wait for the meeting to end 10 minutes. So you started. I was starving. Right, understandable. You cheated the line? And then afterwards, I knew I was right. I did a shortcut. Oh, this was the best.

I was the first person in line. Yeah, so there's probably 500, I don't know, how many people, 300 people in that meeting? 200? I can't believe that many people didn't look here. There were, yeah, probably 150. After Allie pulls the chipmunk move where she shoves the two cheeseburgers in her cheeks, she then positions herself in a way where as soon as they say, all right, meeting over, now everyone go for lunch, she had herself at a different door, so she was the first

person in the whole line. Yeah, it was great. I don't want to wait in the food line. Which was also- And I'm pregnant. I shouldn't have to. Right. Also remarkable to watch.

and that was like football themed food so it was like sliders wings right all that stuff i had jalapeno poppers so now i remember friday night i went out to happy hour with my kid got a one of those giant bavarian pretzels i got it or was that just for you it was quote shared yeah but only i could eat the beer cheese mom we're sharing it does quote share mean not share uh i got yeah no i shared it with him he loves those things but i was the only one dipping into the beer cheese And then I got tacos. He got a grilled cheese and french fries, which he didn't eat, so I ate that, too. That's just Friday now.

That was just Friday. Then Saturday, did the pancakes. And then I can't remember what I did for lunch, but we went and saw that new Paw Patrol movie. So I had to have the popcorn and M&M's combo during the movie. Great combo. Great combo. And I even planned ahead, got the M&M's at CVS so that I wouldn't get charged $9 for M&M's. so we polished me and my kid uh down a whole bucket a large bucket of popcorn right i think

that should be your main vessel for eating moving forward i thought maybe that would make me full but then a couple hours later we decided that we should go for pizza so we had two does pizza oh my god i got the pizza deep dish or thin we did both well he got a cheese pizza because he got a regular cheese pizza and then we got the deep dish sweet and spicy pep. I'm so jealous. And we got the chopped salad, that really good chopped Italian salad. Mostly meat.

You know, it's funny because I think about, as you're talking about your fat pregnant weekend, that to me was a standard. Right now, you're just eating just a regular weekend. That's a regular day. And then after that, because it's only two doors down, there's a great gelato place. So we went and got that.

And I actually didn't even order the ice cream. I only got it for my kid And then my friend and her kid got it, too. So I polished off all of theirs because they couldn't finish. Oh, so you ate all of the leftover ice cream, too? I didn't get myself an ice cream. I ate all the leavens. I don't want to get one ice cream.

Instead, I'll finish nine other people's ice creams. I was like, this is lemon flavored. This is strawberry rose. Let me taste. Let me do this. So this puts us through Saturday. And then what was next? Sunday was the Costco shop, so we had crab macaroni and cheese for lunch.

Did you go sample crazy there, too, or no? Oh, yeah. We had a nice brunch. Nice brunch. And they had chicken nugget samples there. They had quesadilla samples. I believe they even had cake. They had cake samples.

I don't think that was a sample. You know those big ones in the glass? Those aren't samples. Oh, look at this. It's a happy birthday. Look at this cake sample. I was just opening it up. Some kid's like, that's supposed to be my cake, lady.

It's funny because I would even go, I would grab two because I was with my kid. And then I'd be like, do you want this? And he'd be like, no. And I'd be like, great. Wow, this is exciting. So we had the Kraft macaroni and cheese box. And again, he doesn't eat much, so I finished the box. And then I made dinner like two hours later.

So if you are a current proud recipient of a Make Ali Fat Again hat, congratulations. We've succeeded. And I've been told donuts are here, so I will be getting one of those. Megan Holliday felt bad about showing up here empty-handed last week, so she did send us a giant box of donuts from Trejo's. Which I'm now ready for, Vanessa. You can bring those in. So bring those in. Don't put your hands too close to Ali's mouth when you feed her, though.

She's very hungry. I bite. She stays. From Allie's Feast to Ohana Fest, this is what you could be winning later today. And we come back. We will ask you, if you've been paying attention, to call us and be a part of the Klein Allie show quiz to get you into the endless summer kegger. The donuts are being presented. Which one should I do?

I choose. The donuts are being presented to Allie. Is that what you would call sample size, Allie, or is that a dozen donuts? Those are samples. Would you like a sample? One each. Those are huge donuts. Good God.

Allie is back, baby. the way we like her. Quick break. More show up in a minute. Waiting for the last possible second to win yourself access to the endless summer kegger that we're going to be having

down in Newport Beach on Thursday with Slightly Stupid and tons of games, including Jack Black Tables, according to Vanessa. I recommend you call now or you're already on the phones at 800-520-1067

and you've been paying attention to today's show. We will be giving away tickets all week long like we've been doing for these festivals, but if you want an extra chance to win your way in,

here's the easiest way. Just listen to the entire show, everything we say. Take notes and be able to call us up and then get through and answer some questions. Three in a row, right, that is. And if you get those right, you're as good as in. No hoops, no needed. Just like that, Allie.

Easy. Easy peasy. And I know a lot of you want to just dial it in, phone it in literally, and just be caller 20. I understand that that's the easy thing to do, but you have to reward people for paying attention. So these are all questions. The answers will only be known if you're listening and are watching today's show on YouTube. It's time now for the Klein Allie Show Quiz. The Klein Allie Show Quiz.

Yeah, that's funny. Titi, caca. I don't have these. I have ants. Chris Greger likes Walmart. You never call. Ozzy. I'm with you, Hitler.

Bitch, bye, call. Voila. Those were all out of context clips from a show, not today's show, but you should probably know that if you've been listening. So let's go ahead and say hi. Full phones of KROQ, people that claim they've been listening, but as we've learned, Allie, some people can get two right. To get three in a row right is difficult, especially because these questions come from

every hour of the show. Tim in Huntington Beach, good morning. hey what's up when did you start listening today like 6 30 did you take notes or did you just uh keep everything in your brain yeah my small brain i'm working so i'm trying to do two at the same time all right well good luck man you gotta get three in a row right we gave away a autographed guitar signed by the band weezer earlier today um what body part was rubbed upon that guitar uh that'd be ali's vagina

that might be great guess when in doubt uh to the winner of that guitar we're sorry but yes uh the correct answer is ali did rub her genitals and boobies oh you did i went up and down well this guy said vagina and i will accept that answer sir congratulations you are off to a great start congratulations to everyone but that winner yeah yeah if you did not get a guitar rubbed on by Ali's genitals. Congratulations to you. You're the real winner. And apologies, Weezer. And thank you for doing that for us. I'm sure that when Rivers was in Harvard studying,

he goes, one day I want to have a guitar that I signed rubbed on a pregnant lesbian's body. That is the right answer and you're off to a good start. And that happened at 8 o'clock or something this morning. So you've been at least listening for a few hours. We'll give you credit on that. Question number two. I have to get three in a row right and we move to someone

else. Question number two. What movie does Vanessa think is the funniest movie of all times? Monsters, Inc. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't hear it myself. But Vanessa believes in the thousands, tens of thousands of comedies that have been written and made that she thinks there's not a funnier movie out there than Monsters, Inc. I need everyone to watch it tonight.

Just get a refresher. Your laugh died. That is a correct... Laugh die? Laugh die, laughing. I want to laugh die. I want to laugh die. That is a correct answer, and you've gotten two right, which means now you're on the cusp of greatness, Tim.

If you get the third one right, you're coming to the endless summer kegger. If you're wrong, we pick up with someone else. This is your next question. Question number three. This is tough. This is a hard one. Uh, what stupid invention that our show came up with is now being made and sold for $57?

Uh, bib for, like, marriage or wedding gown and all that stuff. So, yeah, the bib. I am 57. You're saying an adult bib, bibs for adults? Yeah. That is the correct answer. Tim, you've done it three in a row. It's not easy.

You earned it. You've earned it. Well done, sir. You couldn't have possibly known that if you didn't listen to today's show. Minus that weird celebration a moment ago. Congratulations on all things. You will be at the Endless Summer of Kegger. We're slightly stupid.

We can't wait to hang out and have some drinks with you. And we will be doing that on Thursday this week. So plan accordingly, and we'll see you there. All right. Sweet dibs, guys. For everyone else, sweet dibs. Everyone else who couldn't get through, don't worry about it. We have more of those tickets for you coming up later.

In fact, Vanessa, did we give away five pairs today or four? so far we've given away two so this is our third one oh okay well then you're going to probably hear vanessa yell kegs at some point before we even get out of here so i recommend you keep listening more access coming up on k-rock hey i really want to win the biggest slightly stupid i hope you're on the phone right now then because there are a lot of people here that also want to join us, and we've been giving them away and blowing them out all week until that show happens on Thursday, and we say good morning to our

20th caller, which puts us on someone in Downey, California. Hi, good morning. Who's this? Hi, this is Ida. Ida, you are the 20th caller. Oh, my God, yes. Thank you so much. I've been trying for a long time, and I actually met

you guys when you guys did the plunge in Big Bear. Oh, wow. You got to see me in my underwear jumping the freezing lake? Yes, I saw you, and I got videos of you and took pictures with you and Ali commented on my plugs because I have some white light cool plugs. So I'm really excited. Really big fan of your

guys' show. Oh, thank you. And thank you for continuing to support us even after seeing me in my underwear. Yeah. Can I bring my husband too? Because he's also a listener. Is he a lame-o? Yes or no? Is he a lame-o? No, he's awesome. He's in a band. He used to play. He plays

the drums. He was a drummer for Happy Drum Cartel. So yeah. Okay. If you If you don't tell any more stories about your husband's band, you can come and bring him. No, I need a shirt. He's awesome. Okay. All right.

Jake's a big fan. Hold on one second. Can't wait to see you again. Thanks for continuing to support the show. And a poster. I like that. I met her two years ago. Jumping in that freezing cold lake.

She's still slogging along, isn't she? Still slogging. Appreciate the slog. Maybe you'll leave with one of the first ever slogger shirts that will be given out at this little shindig we're doing on Thursday. Takeaways from today's show, and then we'll get out of here. Slugga will be in. He's got more access for you.

Keep in mind, every hour. you may not care about us at all and don't want to go to our show and that's fine. I know you probably do want to go to one of the many festivals that's happening here in Southern California and they include not only the one, the Ocean Way that's happening in Santa Monica, but also it's been happening for years and years and years and we will get you into

Ohana Fest as well. Every other hour back and forth all day long cooling you off at the coolest festivals on the beaches in Southern California and you'll have another chance to win coming up again at about 11 a.m. sharp with Sluggo. Alright, takeaways from today's show. What do we got? 818, my My takeaway is Klein's marriage is a toxic phrase.

Yeah, it's toxic phrase and toxic phase. And those are tough words to say, which is why I had trouble getting them out today. 213, my takeaway is Allie loves the Saudis. She does. She admitted it. We have audio for saying it. 213, Jake likes the hams. Monsters, Inc. is hilarious.

714, can I change AIDS to abortion? Too late. I was told too late. It was too late. 9-2-5, my takeaway is everyone knows that at every baseball game, a guy's junk flies out of his pants when he's trying to catch a foul ball. I'm so funny when it happens. You say the stupidest things on the show by far. That was a bad example.

That was the stupidest of the stupid things you've said. It's never happened. If someone looked it up, it said in the history of baseball, no one's junk has ever fallen out while trying to catch a foul ball. I'm just picturing it in my mind. Now, if it had been a guy drops beer trying to catch a foul ball or drops baby, that's funny. Accidental nudity is funny. And 909 My Takeaway is win a chance to play with Jack Black's tables. That's right.

At the Summer Keg. We've got all these old tables that Jack Black used to own. It's going to be a great time. What's your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny? Nurses are some hoes. That's right. I mean, you said that. Why'd the music stop?

Because... Why'd the music stop? Wait. Johnny, you're the one who made it. You said that. You can't do a takeaway over something you said. Yeah, I like what I said. You're doubling down on something you said that none of us agreed with.

I like what I said. I was going to say firefighters are for the streets, but nah. The nurse is one. I was going to say firefighters are hoes, but I'm going with nurses are hoes. Nurses comes from the chest. Vanessa, you got a takeaway from today's show? Yes, the meat slicer guy has a sexy job, according to Claire. Sure does.

It's the sexiest job. Slicing that meat all day? Man. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is the B in FBI stands for bestiality. God damn it. Jake, you're up. Go, quick.

There's some hoes. That's hilarious. That's funny, Jake. So true. You have a takeaway over? You're hot if you know how to handle a beaker. All right. That is well said.

We'll do it again tomorrow. If you don't know what we're talking about, check out the complete show available wherever you get your podcasts. You can search Klein Alley Show. You can search KROQ. We're all over the place, so find us there, and thank you for the support. If you need us in the meantime, use the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. We'll check messages throughout the day today and then ridicule them tomorrow, and we'll

We'll be back with more access to your endless summer kegger. Until then, that's it. Bye. It's just okay. It's just okay. It's just okay. It's just okay. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.