Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Football Fans vs Apple, Johnny Doesn't Know and MORE

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley Show in just a moment, but in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world, plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines, you're going to be miserable, you're going to say, oh, I got to get there two, three hours before my flight.

Not at San Bernardino International Airport. And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. This is the world famous KROQ. Just after 10 o'clock on a Thursday. Welcome to your pre-quend, your fine alley show. I'd love to hear from you right now. If you're interested in going to opening night of Not Scary Farm, get them first screams. I always say best day, best thing that can happen here at KROQ is when you get first suds.

And that's when you get to the bathroom before it has been completely destroyed. And you got that nice little soap, the soap bubbles floating on top of that blue water. Yeah, by 4 p.m. around here, it is First Screams. But yeah, by 4 p.m., by about 8 a.m., it's First Screams. But you get in the morning after that nice overnight clean. You know what I'm talking about. You go into a bathroom after it's just been cleaned. You get First Suds.

First Suds is great. First Screams is almost just as good. And you'll get that if you are the 20th caller right now at Not Scary Farm. Because you get to go through all the horror, all the mazes. And you get to do it before anyone else. So, no one gets to give you the update and say, hey, just a reminder. Just when you think you're through, that's when one more guy with a pig face jumps out and freaks you out. And that's just me.

Last minute pig face guy is clutch. Yeah, you want to know to be on the lookout for pig face guy. We say good morning to the recipient of first screams, and that is Connie, Canoga Park. Good morning, Connie. Ooh, hi. Save that screaming. You're going to need it for Not Scary Farm. You're going.

Four tickets will be yours for opening night. Congratulations. Woo! Let's go! Have fun there, and thanks for waking up with us here on KROQ. Really appreciate that. I do also like when you get to work, and you're the first to use the bathroom, and the toilet seat is up. Then you know that it's that clean.

Not only is it clean, but no one else has used it. Right, you've got a sanitized bowl. It's a nice feeling to get a sanitized bowl. You're the first person to put it down. I don't mind touching it. So, Connie, are you a new listener, or have you been listening for a while? I've been listening for a while I appreciate that, that would technically make you a slogger, although there's a lot of people that

are discussing this whole idea because we're giving away these low slogger shirts at our next show hang which is happening on Wednesday after the show at Descanso, mid Miracle Mile and we'll do the gourmet tacos, we'll celebrate Mexican Independence Day and you can see what these shirts look like up on our Instagram, it's basically like the Dodgers logo but they say low sloggers

for anyone who's been listening to the show for a while meanwhile there's this huge debate raging on about what makes someone a slogger So this guy is deciding that he's a slogger because of the impact we've had on his personal relationships more than the amount of time he's been listening. And look, that's a good run. The guy's been listening to us since February of 2022.

I can't figure out that math, Allie, but carry the one. That's a few years, so we appreciate that. And he laughs. Every time we go on long drives, me and my lady, I force her to listen to you guys. And then she gives up halfway through and puts her AirPod at death. Thanks for that. So he forces her to listen, and she chooses to listen to AirPods instead. That happens.

It's not the point. The point is I make her listen. It's caused many fights. But I have been listening for a long time. I would say I'm a slugger. So that's that guy's take, is that he thinks he's earned the title slugger. Andy's been forcing people to listen that don't want to listen. That's right.

And Andy's been at it for a while. That's part of the slog, is trying to convince. This guy says we shouldn't just give away these shirts to anyone who shows up. He said the first 106 people to get there get a shirt. This guy says we should add a little rule to that. I got to think about that whole slog t-shirt thing. If you want to give out those t-shirts to certified sloggers, why not just give them a little quiz?

It doesn't have to be overly complicated or anything like that, but you guys know true sloggers just based on their knowledge. Get some questions from years back, you know. It doesn't have to be overly complicated. They can get some, Mom. But if they get some questions from, you know. So this guy's just saying we should, one question. You don't get a slugger shirt just for showing up.

You got to answer one question that would prove you've been listening for a little bit. We just want to make the check-in process as long as possible. That's right. When people get to a line, you better, look, just come. Just show up. We'll give you the shirt. I would like people to wear the shirt, earn the shirt, be a real true slugger. And if you're new to the show, listening, just started listening,

maybe someone's giving you that three-day challenge right now, so you're checking us out for the first time, you too can be a slogger. It just takes hours and hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years of dedication. And then you're in, just like that. You get a shirt. KROQ Finale Show. Yesterday was a big day for different groups of people, obviously. If you love the hot weather, it was a good day for you because it was hot and sticky and humid as hell.

If you're a fan of tech and one of those Apple fanboys, big day for you because they love the big announcements. And then, of course, if you're a fan of football, it was exciting because you got the first game of the NFL season back again. And Jake had a theory, and the theory is people can't be excited about both Apple and football. Either you're a football person or you're a tech person. And if yesterday, you think of yesterday as the big Apple announcement day, you probably weren't very excited about football. So Jake went to a Seahawks bar. I don't think you should be allowed to go to Seahawks bars, Jake, because technically now you're a Packers fan for the remainder of the season. And I was both.

No, I think that's... No, I'm supposed to abandon my team. You know, Allie may be going to a San Francisco 49ers game where she'll have to dress in Cardinals gear. Same colors. Yeah, but I'm saying for Allie to go to Levi's Stadium, support the team that she's loved her whole life. Stupid red bird on my hat. As a Cardinals fan, sucks for her. And I'll be the only one.

You'll probably get beat up in the parking lot, too. You'll have to convince them. I swear to you. I would deserve it. I'm a Niners fan. This is for a radio bit. But this is part of Force fandom. So Jake, anyway, went undercover, and he gave us this report.

All right, I'm at the backstage in Culver City behind Sony Studios, which is also known as the Seahawks Bar when the Seahawks play. And we're going to ask people what they thought about the Apple announcement. So I was going up to a people of the, you know, it was a very exciting game. Went down to pretty much the last, you know, few seconds of the game. It was boring at first, but it got exciting at the end. Got exciting at the end, and Seahawks fans were excited. But were they excited for the Apple announcement? Let's find out.

All right, what's your name? Andrew. Andrew, how excited are you for the Seahawks' win? Oh, I'm pumped, man. Yeah? Didn't think we'd pull it out. How excited are you for the Apple announcement today? I missed that.

Not dialed into that at all. So he didn't even know there was an announcement yesterday, but he was pretty excited about the first game of the NFL season, and then we went to Angela. My name's Angela, Santa Monica. How excited are you for the Seahawks' win? Oh, extremely pumped. We're just a fourth-quarter team, and we delivered.

How excited are you for the Apple announcement earlier today? What's the Apple announcement? The Apple announcement for the new products, everything else. Did you not? No, I was like extremely not tuned into that. So that's two people that didn't even know Apple made an announcement yesterday. So you're proving Jake's experiment is proving to be correct. But he was also going up to specifically, you know, these were, you know, obviously Seahawks fans.

These are diehard. These aren't regular people. These are people that are already, you know, locked in. They're dialed in. Dialed into Seahawks. What's your name? Charlie. Charlie from where?

I live in Glendale. On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you for the Seahawks' win tonight? Oh, f***ing 25. On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you for the Apple announcement earlier today? The Apple? Someone trying to leave. Oh, no. Jake with a microphone.

Go quick. Everyone just get in the car. Just go somewhere. Are you for the Apple announcement earlier today? The Apple announcement today? Yeah. I have no idea what that is. So, once again, that's 3 for 3.

You don't even know what it is? I don't know where. People were completely unaware. Jake was trying to explain to them all of the things that Apple was announcing. And they just wanted to talk about Seahawks football. They were so excited. Man, it's like when something significant happens and then somebody like Dolly Parton dies and completely buries that. You know, like if the NFL hadn't started yesterday, would the Apple announcement have been bigger?

Would people have known? Maybe not. I think people are still pretty excited about flipping that phone. I mean, Omar thinks it's lame, but I think the general public wants to flip things. i think the real thing they need to do and this is what they never do during those announcements which they should is say this is what happens when you accidentally knock the phone off the counter while you're taking a dump and it slips through your hands and then show us either it shatters into a million pieces or it doesn't we need to be seen that it's in an idiot right

idiot proof stuff they're always showing it in like the best part they always show some film director holding it shooting some cool shot they need to have you right give it to me for 24 hours do a demonstration like they tried to do with the cyber trucks you know where they were like destroying them. Yeah, that's what we need for regular people to see. So, by the way, a lot of people are blaming Jake for mushing. Now, this man is going to sit in a corner and J-O us. I'm going to J-O to the new

screen and see how much better. This is my new phone where I'm going to make a promise to myself when I buy it. This is not for porn. This is only for calling and FaceTiming my family. Fast forward three minutes later, and I'm J-O into this big screen. Why do we have that display in the Apple store? Show me.

It's just you in the corner. It's one of those disgusting pictures of my under chin after I finish. This was shot on the new iPhone. Jake was being blamed for the loss of the quarterback for the Seahawks. Oh, Sam Darnold. Darnold went down in the first quarter, first drive

actually. It was the first five plays. It was the fifth or sixth play. So you hurt his hips and of course because of all this stupidest injury. All the squalling that took place over the airwaves yesterday. Jake is being blamed for this one. Yo, Jake, why you got to mush Sam

Darn old like that with all your squines. You squammer, sir, you. So, anyway, that must be true because it was left on the GOAT line. So there you go. Three points Seahawks, no points Apple, according to the people that Jake approached yesterday. We've got to take ourselves a quick break. We're back in a moment. We have more show to get to after this on KROQ.

KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show. Postmaster Johnny's in the studio right now, which means he'll have the opportunity to answer one question, one question only, in a lightning round if Johnny doesn't know. All right, so I got to say, one of my favorite segments that you do is Johnny Doesn't Know. And the reason why I love it is because it's baffling to me, like straight up baffling, that a 27-year-old doesn't know some of the simplest things in the world. He shouldn't be proud of it. He should be kind of embarrassed.

Well, thank you for the message. I'm glad you enjoyed the segment. And Johnny is 28. Let's go ahead and remind you. Yeah, but thank you, though, for that. It should be more baffling because he's now a year older. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. Johnny, are you really upset about losing the money on the game last night?

Allie said that with such a mad face. She was like, that's pretty incredible. Our mind is blown. My mind is continuously blown by you, Johnny. How upset are you about losing that $100 last night, taking the New England Patriots to win the game? It was depressive. That whole game was a roller coaster.

It was depressive, yeah. I was literally like, what the hell? And then as soon as they fumbled and then they threw like three interceptions, I was just checked out. I was like, well, this is why I don't gamble. And this is why I don't trust Klein. It's a good reminder. Why didn't you trust me?

Well, I didn't know you knew ball. You know ball. Hey, listen, I still like the bet. I know the bet didn't pay. I know we lost, but I still like that bet. I still like that bet. I just felt disappointed because I trusted Klein and he's Mr. Sports Guy. He's Mr. Prize Picks.

And I was like, great. I'm going to listen to the commercial and do as he says. You're right, and listen to what this guy said. You're right. He just lost money. I lost money, Klein. Okay, but listen to what this guy said. I definitely don't know gambling, but I do know the show.

And what I have gathered from that, if you want to be successful at gambling, bet against whatever Klein picks, and then you're going to be a winner, winner, chicken dinner. There you go. That was not a winner, winner, chicken dinner. Because you went with me. I was a loser, loser, chicken pooser, man. That's well said. Hilarious.

Jesus, that's good. Again, you always baffle me. It's time for Johnny Doesn't Know. Here we go. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in Fata for like a while.

Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know. Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes, wiggles. Hello, Eartha. You're in Los Angeles,

and now you're on K-Rock. Nice to meet you. Eartha, correct? Hey, hello, Klein. What's up? What's up, what's up? Johnny's going to answer one question. Oh, my goodness.

Let's go. It's about Australia because, as you know, or maybe you don't, the Rams are currently in Australia with the Niners. They're going to be playing tonight. The game, I think, is on Netflix. It's the Rams' first game of the season. They are currently the odds on favor to win the Super Bowl this year, which will be here in Los Angeles.

So it's a big deal. Johnny, I think you should go ahead and double that bet from yesterday. You can win back what you lost and then some if you take my pick for tonight. You're taking the Rams? I'm not going to take either team. I'm going to take the over. points. Big scoring affair going to be happening there in Australia

because the ball moves better because it moves backwards like the toilets. Wow. You didn't think about that, did you? I didn't think about the toilets, but I'm not taking your pick, though. I might go opposite. I'm thinking the 49ers, actually. I think you're making a big mistake. They've already been there for a week, adjusting to the time

difference. They've acclimated to the whole... Yeah. Johnny, here's your question. Will Johnny know? This is one question. You don't need to know the answer, but here is the question, Eartha. if someone in Australia is eating Tam Tams, what are they eating? Tim Tams.

What are they eating? Well, damn, what's the name of it? Tim Tams or Tam Tams? Tim Tams. Are you sure? Tim Tams. They're eating something in a can? Tim Tams. Will Johnny know this? Yes or no, Eartha? You know what? I'm going to say no, because I don't even know

what the heck that is. Tim Tams are a big Australian delicacy. Johnny, what are they eating if they're eating Tim Tam. She says, you will not know. You said delicacy, so it's delicious like dessert, kind of. That's just a word for food.

Because in my mind, I was thinking Tums, but I don't think the Aussies eat Tums. That was the first delicacy you could think of was Tums? Well, he said, I don't know, some people like that. I'm having some real acid reflux. Give me some delicacy, Tums. Not every day you get to eat these. So you think that in Australia,

they've come up and they've said, they're already called Tums. Let's come up with two other one-syllable T words and make it... Tim Tam Tums. Delicacies. Maybe it's like a chocolate. Tam Tam sounds like a chocolate.

Tim Tams. Tim Tams. Or candy. Damn. Is it candy or is it bread? Kangaroo? No, that's a joey. That's a joey.

He's right about that. Royal Lotus told me that last time. But he doesn't know. So she says you will not know. I need one final answer. If someone's eating a Tim Tam, what are they eating? Eating a Tim Tam.

That's a chip. Like a chip. All right. Congratulations. He did not know. Those are... They do have weird nicknames. We would call them cookies.

I think they call them biscuits over there, which is also weird. Hilarious. But Tim Tams are their very popular Australian cookie slash biscuit. Ah, that was my next answer. Hold on one second. Give her some tickets to... What do we got there? The Super Sports Show.

Get this woman some Tim Tams. Give her some Tim Tams. Make that happen ASAP. Julia Wolf on KROQ now, and then more of us after this. All right, we'll do some takeaways from today's show, then we'll get out of here. Sluggo will be in with more of those tickets for Not Scary Farm, so be ready to win your way into opening night of that. The chances to win, first screams,

be the first ones to go through all that fun stuff at Not Scary Farm opening nights, and you'll win those every hour, including in about 20 minutes with Sluggo right here on KROQ. And then a reminder, a week from, nope, sorry, not a week from, less than a week, Wednesday, we will be going after the show, 11 a.m. sharp, over to Descanso, mid-Miracle Mile, for the Klein Alley Show Fiesta Siesta. You want to party, you want to nap, we'll be doing both, and drinking and eating tacos. It's going to be like smoking and non-smoking sections, but nap, no nap.

Nap, no nap. So it's going to be a good time, and we can't wait to see how that all plays out. I know what you're thinking, how can I get a good nap with a mariachi band? Well, we haven't really thought it through too much. You've got to want it in your own room. Yeah, you can complain to the manager like Jake did to get moved further away from the music. What do we got in the world of takeaways on the text line right now? Okay, let's see.

626, my takeaways. The new iPhone is all hat, no cattle. That's right. According to DJ Omar Khan. Loves those sands now. He can use them because he's a Washington fan. That's true. 714, my takeaways.

Minnie doesn't walk on people anymore. I got to figure. A lot of people are asking me on the text line. Where's Minnie? Give them the location. They want to go take the Minnie Challenge. A lot of so many people have hit me out. I'm telling you, a lot of people have not survived the Minnie Challenge.

I assure you of that. 310, Betamax tapes were smaller than VHS, but they came in a bigger box. They did. This is stupid. Ridiculous. It's the new Bucky's argument for Jake. It's even dumber, though. Were the boxes not bigger?

Does that matter? No. Yes, it does matter. We were talking, but they said they were smaller. The boxes were bigger. Right? Am I right or am I right? Nobody was talking about boxes, man.

Nobody. Yeah, the boxes. When you go to the video store, it's like, You go to the vintage store, you pick up Betamax, they were bigger. Hey, Johnny, do me a solid. I know you go to all those vintage stores. Punch that guy in the face. I'll bring one tomorrow.

I'll bring one. Johnny, go buy a VHS and knock this guy out over there. Bring in a Beta and a VHS so Jake can go ahead and eat his words tomorrow on the show. Gotcha. 424, my takeaway is extra large lady bros. 949, the general public likes to flip things. 818, Klein wants a phallic drainage massage. The Costco return policy is the R word.

Victorville is scarier than Knott's Berry Farm. And Jake is more roses than guns. And 661, my takeaway is whose hose? Ram's hose! What's your takeaway there, Vanessa? Biggest Rams fan on the planet? Pour some water on that AI. Gotta pour the water on the AI.

That's how we win this thing. Luckily, you know, sadly for us, we have a drought. So AI's figured out a way to beat us there as well. We're out of water. What's your takeaway, Johnny? No cattle there. That's right. Jake, the nerd, what is your takeaway?

Mike McCready by himself is Pearl Jam. That's right. Jesus Christ. You cannot be wrong, can you? I don't know if you heard them yesterday. Mike Tirico, right after he finished performing, he said, what's more Seattle than Pearl Jam playing the national anthem? He did, yeah.

He did say that. So I guess you want to write a letter to NBC about that as well? Sure, yeah. He's wrong. Okay. And then add the thing about the VHS and the Betamax, too. P.S. A Betamax, bigger boxes.

Allie, take away, Allie. My takeaway is Jake is a loser, loser, chicken pooser. Omar, takeaway from today's show? I like living in a house. Whose house? Rob's house. There we go. Nailed it.

You're getting better. Yeah, Vanessa, come on. If you're going to be the biggest Rams fan. I'm trying my best. You should be proud of me. we will do it again tomorrow Vanessa on the hat

please yeah we will do it again tomorrow try to do it better if you need us in the meantime you can find us on the go line

844-956-GOAT ready for your comments, critiques and criticisms find us on Instagram download the show wherever you get your podcasts

appreciate that alright that's it bye Clown and Allie it's just okay Clown and Allie it's just okay Clown and Allie

it's just okay Just, just, just, just, just okay Do-do-do