Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Jake's Jukebox Tantrum, Most/Least Lazy and MORE

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Oh, man. Are you guys okay? How can we do another hour? Holy crap. All I'm hearing is like slurping, burping. We're trying to take down the remnants of the Big Fat Fatty and see if our show as a show can complete this thing. And there's still so much of it left. There's so much.

So much. The slice I got on my plate was only one-fifth of that thing, and I am having a hard time. I'm sleepy. I got through the burger, I got through the egg, the pastrami, the mozzarella sticks, the onion rings, started to... It was kind of like as you peeled the layers, you just got a new meal. I got chicken tender. Yeah, oh yeah. What's in this thing?

Surprise after surprise. There was a lot of, what's that? Hold on, what is that? That's dangerous. Cancel my plans for the remainder of the day after putting down that thing. So thank you once again, Fat Sal's. That video's all going up on our socials, Klein Alley Show. I mean, I gave myself a pretty big amount and I can't finish this.

Incredible. We are not good at a lot of things, including radio, but we're especially not good at doing competitive eating challenges. And that woman smoked us all at her own game. I ate half. Dude, she smoked you. I ate half. I think Jake was smitten by her. Everyone said, keep Jake away from her.

Oh, right next to her. Yeah, I know. I'm sure she knew that, too. She was well aware. Well aware. Anyway, we've got lots to get to this hour on the show. I didn't realize that, you know, yesterday after Jake got thrown out of the DMV, The birthday party continued when he went over to his favorite local bar, which is in

Burbank. I think your voice just started sounding fatter, by the way. Hold on. I have a thing stuck in my throat. I think it's... Part of a mozzarella stick? I think it's part of a mozzie stick. Anyway, Jake, man, I do feel it happening, guys.

I feel like I'm getting heartburn already. Getting fatter. It's worth it, though. And listen to what happened. Apparently, there was another issue. The drama just following Jake around. Hey, what's up? It's a slight suit.

I was hanging out with Jake. just now, actually, at Trance. The bar was loud. It was pumping. And the song on the G-Box switched over to Mars Volta, and Jake was so excited. That's Jake's favorite band ever, Mars Volta. And, of course, it was on.

I'm sure it wasn't just on randomly. I'm sure Jake picked it to go on. Oh, I picked it, and I played extra to play it first. And you paid extra? Yeah. How much extra? Like six credits. What does a credit cost in the real world?

Oh, I don't know. I buy a bunch of them at a time. See, this is another just example of you being just absolutely foolish with your money, that you're paying money to have music played and paying extra to have it played first. I can't believe it. It's ridiculous. That is stuff that even a rich person would be like, nah, I'm good. Yeah, I'm sure if you were to talk to, like, Mr. Wonderful and be like, what financial advice do you have?

He'd say, don't waste your money on credits to have your songs played at a bar and then pay extra to have it played first. Right. So how much monthly do you think you spend on karaoke credits, Jake? Oh, these aren't karaoke credits. These are jukebox credits. Oh, you just want to listen to the song. This isn't even singing a long way. So he paid extra to have his song played. Listen to this. Jake was so excited, and then it stopped after five seconds

because trivia was starting, and trivia had to take over and make some announcements, and Jake just yelled out, God damn it, I want my Mars Volta. Apparently Jake had a big tantrum at the bar. With his party hat on. Because he wanted the song he paid extra for, and then they were doing trivia announcements. And the whole bar went dead quiet.

We're talking like 50 people just stopped talking and all looked at Jake. And now the room's completely quiet and Jake's showing up. I want my song. I want my Mars Volta on my visceral eyes. The trivia guy just kind of stopped and said, hey, would it be okay if we just put it over here on our little tiny laptop? And Jake said, yeah, it's my birthday. And so they did. They played it.

I think that Jake intimidated the whole room into his Mars Volta song. So with that, I guess just happy birthday, Jake. Oh, my. Make sure you don't interrupt this guy and his Mars Volta because it gets kind of scary, if I'm saying so. It's my birthday. Play my song. I mean, there are 50 people waiting for Trivia Night to start at the bar.

How wasted were you at this point? I was pretty tanked, yeah. Yeah. In my shop! It's not even a song that people know. So then at that point, the whole thing, a four or five minute song is playing and everyone just

with their little sheets out. What set me over the edge is that they stopped my song and started like doing announcements but they started playing their music. I'm like,

I'm not having this. No way. So let me get this right. They did not play your song through the bar sound system. They brought you over to a separate corner to listen to it on a laptop?

They put it on their laptop and they were like patched in. Oh, you made them bring it up on their laptop just so that they could, oh my God. What it's like to be you, man. I got to go whoop some ass.

That whole place was talking about him. Of course. All night. I mean, they actually got some real people there. These bars are trying to get a bell. We got trivia night. I know people are into that sort of thing.

They come in. The teams are ready to go. Oh, they don't care about what's playing on the jukebox. Some tantrum. At my Mars Valta. On my birthday. With this little balloon. And the hat.

Anyway. Anyway. Welcome to a brand new hour of whatever the hell this is on KROQ. Good morning. Oh, we don't have time for that. All right, guys. Time for trivia. Trivia is about to start.

Hold on. There's a disgruntled guy drunk in a birthday hat. This is Mars Volta right now on K-Rock. This was in a song I played. There's a less known one. Sorry, guys. We have commercials to get to and play those instead. A deep, deep cut from a deep, deep band.

And as everybody is just sitting there in the bar sad and mad, you have no problem just enjoying that on your own? Are you kidding me? My bar? You know what's fun? On my birthday? In my band? Get out of my face.

There's a bar that I do go to, and it has a similar situation. Not with credits where you have to buy them, but there's an app. You scan the QR code. Oh, yeah, I've seen those. Everyone has control of the app, and you can pick songs and order them and everything. And I'm going to tell you right now, there's nothing that makes most people happier than picking a great song and watching the reaction of the bar get excited or potentially changes the whole vibe of the bar, and it's like, yeah, I picked that song, and this night just elevated.

That's probably what DJ Omar Khan feels like. When you're doing it, you're like, this is going to be a hit and it's going to hit people unexpectedly or whatever and it's going to let people tap into a side of them that they didn't know they had or whatever and now we've turned and Jake is going, I'm going to pick

a song that no one here wants, that no one here has heard of and only I like. It's just a wild way to look at it. Have you ever been to a bar where you could outbid the previous person that pays? What? So say if somebody, you know, is playing some whack-ass music like Jake, I can outbid him.

Say if he paid $6 for it, I could go and play like a Metallica song if I paid $10. Oh, my God. And cut his song off. Oh, my God. I would love to see how much Jake would pay and outbid and outbid. I think he paid to have his song Priority on the jukebox. He paid extra. But if someone like Omar kept outbidding him, how far would this go?

I may start going to bars with Jake just to outbid him on songs. Just do Counting Crows songs. outbid him. Constantly outbid him. How much money would he waste? Oh my God. Hundreds. Just for a song. There's not even an auction. A bar that's getting three seconds of songs. Well, that's why I play 10-minute songs. Was it a

10-minute song? It's pretty long, yeah. Oh my. Jesus. Trivia Night's been cancelled this week because it's not fun here anymore. We've got to take a break. We'll get back in a moment. When we return, we've got a most least to get to. That's right. A chance for us to rank ourselves and each other. Most least

annoying at a bar. So we'll get to a most least coming up. And then we've got tickets to give you if you'd like to go. And I don't see why you wouldn't. Hollywood Bowl, Smart List Podcast. That's all coming up on camera. Do you agree that the season of lazy is summer? I mean, if you're going to go ahead and associate lazy with a season, summer would be the laziest.

Just because especially with heat wave and stuff, people get hot and they just want to sit around. And even though you could argue there's more to do outside, you know, it's the time of the year to go out and do stuff. We live here, so we don't really have seasons as much as other parts of the country. and maybe in other parts of the country they would say winter is lazy time because you just kind of hunker down, hunker down, wait for the thaw. But I think that we like to celebrate laziness, which I know society is not a fan of. They're always telling you you've got to walk more, step more, 8,000, not enough, you've got to do 10,000 steps a day.

And I feel like when people are lazy, they get ridiculed for being lazy. Oh, you're sitting at your desk? You've got to get a standing desk. Well, I think there are people who are just naturally lazy, though, or enjoy the laziness. I'm not somebody who, I can't, it's hard for me to be lazy. I can't sit still for very long. But do you agree that there's good lazy and bad lazy? Yeah, I do. And I think there's lazy and there's, I'm lazy with my job.

I'm lazy with my body. I'm lazy with, you know, the way I do things like you, if you would rather drive down to the first floor to do something in the sound space versus walk and take the elevator, which there's not even stairs involved. It's just an elevator. You're getting the words wrong. Ingenious is the word you're looking for, and you're saying lazy because I drive down one flight instead of walk. Do you think that's lazy? Well, we've also-

Why don't you go to Descanto? Yeah, we've done events across the street at Descanto, and you drive there. Yeah. Or what about your whole leaf blower situation, man? That's just the epitome of laziness. Yeah, you don't want to- You just want to blow stuff around. You don't want to pick it up.

Bend over to pick up clothes. Led us to a conversation to determine who on the show is the laziest. Oh, we know. I don't. Well- Who invented coasters for their feet? what the hell and rock pants so you don't have to go to the bathroom by the way i was thinking about those rock pants last night at that movie uh and i don't know why we're not selling these

rock pants outside of uh odyssey call them imax pants or something people would have loved to have sat in there and gone they should definitely call them imaxi pads imaxi pads this is a great idea you can only get up you don't get up to these long movies but i give it to you with the goggles put on your imaxi pad and then you're good to go and then when you're done you drop it in the little recyclable. Wait a minute. Because I invented a thing to put your feet up on a table when you take a seat.

Coasters for your feet. You think that makes me the laziest? Even coming up with creating something means I'm not lazy. A lazy person would have just talked about it. Oh, let's hear that jingle and how much work you put into that jingle. I made a jingle so there's that. That's more than a lazy

person would have done. Take your feet up on the table when you take a seat. Toasters, the coasters for your feet. A lot of people putting their dirty ass feet on the table. And so you got a little. And that jingle has the vibes of laziness. You can't even get through it.

It's a lazy vibe, man. It's nine seconds. You couldn't even make it to ten. I took up three days. Energy, dude. Did all of you put me as the laziest on the show? Oh, yeah. What?

I wrote your name down five times. Oh, my God. Guys, there's someone on the show that naps every day for four hours. He's number two on my list. Yeah, he's my number two, too. Who's your number one? Vanessa, who's your number one? At first, I had Johnny, but then you guys convinced me, and you're right, Klein.

If you have to drive downstairs, you're lazy. That's groupthink. You're falling for groupthink. I am falling for groupthink. How many domains have you purchased and done nothing with? All of them. Right. How many domains do you own for businesses that you've never taken the time to start?

Yeah, okay. How many unread emails do you have? Once again, I think you're all making interesting points, but they're not proof of laziness. Why not? Because I'm always doing stuff. I'm always... I wish I was lazier. I want to be lazy.

Well, congratulations. You are. No. You've accomplished it. Like, the idea of, like, a lazy Sunday. Oh, having a lazy... You had a lazy Sunday when your daughter hit you in the nose. You were having a lazy Sunday.

Right. That was the plan, and then it ended up being a bloody Sunday. Sunday, bloody Sunday. You don't go to things because you don't even want to sit in the car and drive. You don't like doing things. Right. What is the definition of lazy? Maybe I'm wrong about the definition.

Because I put Johnny third on my list because he's not lazy in life, but he can be lazy with, you know, work stuff. And it depends. Sometimes he's on it and sometimes he's just a little aloof and just kind of, I'll get to it. That is true. I don't know if lazy is the word for that or if it's just incompetent with Johnny. Ike would call him a lazy employee sometimes, but he's not a lazy person. I agree. And what do you put Jake in the category of then?

Jake is second on my list simply because he only does things that are convenient for him. He won't drive for any kind of date. He won't go through the effort. Okay, so then if effort is a key factor. He won't take a nap every single day. And even like, you know, doing things that are extra for the show. Like he will do things, but he's like after my nap, you know, I, he's still, yeah, he'll only do things kind of within his comfort zone so do i not put in effort to go above and beyond

for all the people in my life relatives you occasionally i sent you that bag of flowers remember that a little safe way back yeah that bonds bag so that's not lazy i mean the answer well you didn't bring them to me no i did put it up yeah i pushed the button on my phone and they brought it to you you don't build things for your kids you have task rabbit do it i try to do it I try. I'm not qualified. If we're doing a list for most incompetent on the show, I could very possibly be near the top. Lazy, I can't believe you're putting me, I can't believe all of the top pick on the show.

Like, to me, Beer Mug was lazy. Like, that's lazy. Yes, he was more lazy. And you're not lazy with your job. You are a hardworking person when it comes to your career. It's just in every other aspect of your life that brought you to number one for me. Right. Thank you.

And Johnny, where'd you put me on your list? I put you at number two. Who's your number one laziest? Oh, Jake, because he takes naps throughout the day, and it's like, bro. That's my sleep. But you're a grown man. What are you, seven years old, taking naps, my guy? Don't you also on the weekends, Jake?

I think sometimes you've told us you don't get out of bed all day. Oh, that's the best days ever. Yeah. Let me tell you. It sounds like a nightmare. You guys put me above Jake. He told us a story the other day. He went to bed at two in the morning.

He didn't get out of bed until the next day when the sun had already gone down. That's awesome And I'm above him on the lazy list It's so hard to do that too That's my dream day What Jake did is my dream I would love to do that Yeah you do have more responsibilities than Jake though

I think you would be a Jake if you didn't have A wife and kids and all that other stuff When I went to the hospital when they found that brain eating Thing going on in my head And they had to keep me there for observations overnight And a couple times they were like Are you ready to leave? And I thought to myself no

And most people just want to get out of the hospital. And I thought, this is a great setup here. But when he goes to a movie, he stays awake. Yeah, but that's once again, that's less of laziness. Klein, the only reason I put you number two on my list is because... Oh, F you. No, no, sorry. Because you just don't put your weights away when we go to the gym downstairs.

You don't? What an asshole. Or you have me rack them up first and get the bench ready. What? You're having Johnny rack up your weights? You have your little butt boy rack your weights? What the hell? Klein.

Hold on, Johnny. Johnny, here's the best. I'm telling you, the gym is the gym. You don't talk about the gym outside the gym, dude. All right, no gym time. Got it. First of all, if I've... I'm taking gym selfies.

Will you rec this for me? If I've already lifted the weights five times, I'm not going to lift it a sixth time to put it away. That's crazy. That's crazy. And other people have to use it. I already... I saved them a step.

It's out. You can't even walk fast. Walking with you is so excruciating. You do this like lopey, slow kind of... Even when you tried to open the door for me, you held it open with your foot and it fell. You're too lazy to grab it with your hand. It was too hard to open the door. All right, so maybe I'm number two.

Definitely not number one. Who was last on your list? Omar. Yeah. Omar. Omar. Yeah. Yeah, I think that we think because we don't see the guy, but he's always working.

And when he's not working, he's like, all right, I got three minutes down. I'm going to go coach a softball game. Yeah, he can't come to his own birthday party. Yeah, he can't even go to his own birthday party. He's too busy. The opposite of lazy. It's really annoying. so congratulations

and thank you for helping us to figure out that someone on the show is the laziest we don't know to be determined wrap things up

with takeaways and we get out of here remember we're going to do that show over time podcast today or are we doing that tomorrow

I got to run I got to get this face x-rayed after the show if you're having a problem with your nose we will do it tomorrow but we can do it today

I just need to run and get an x-ray oh my gosh let's do it tomorrow okay so show over time podcast I think we're all really full

yeah tomorrow I'm sleepy Jake did you finish your portion of the sub? I did. I'm so tired. So it took all of us and a bunch of other co-workers randomly, and there's still... There's still a lot

left. I don't know how any one person could do that. There's still probably two plates left. Thank you, Fat Sal's, coming by today and letting us try to attempt to tackle the big fat fatty. Thank you to our competitive eater, Raina, stopping by today. Raina is crazy.

You can find her on the Instagram, and it's pretty incredible some of the stuff she's done, and you'll find out all the places around Southern California. You could be Eating for free, assuming you can eat enough stuff in a quick amount of time. She put down an entire French dip sandwich in a minute and 16 seconds. And she got right up and just kept on talking like nothing had happened. Yep. Incredible stuff.

She was like, anyway, see you later. Takeaways from today's show, and then we'll tell you what we have in store for you tomorrow. Okay, let's see. 424, my takeaway is anyone can be a manager's manager at the DMV. 818, Allie is not a woman. 310 my takeaway is no one talks about the gym outside the gym

so a lot of people tell me go rack your weights you dirtbag let me tell you something I do rack my own weight Johnny you just said you don't Johnny's wrong Johnny is saying if we're doing like if we're sharing a bench I'm like the last one yeah he's the last one to go so he puts it away last one

he doesn't like go out of his way just to leave stuff around I put stuff around unless I can't lift it in which case I ask bigger stronger guys to help me Ask me to do it. Help me lift this kettlebell. Come on. 661, my takeaway is every divorce party needs a piñata. Gotta have a piñata, baby.

Smash that piñata. 650, competitive eaters are supposed to look like boulders from Indiana Jones. 562, we won't notice painted nails, but we do notice painted nipples. And 669, my takeaway is Odyssey is a three-hour movie just to get fog blocked. Man, I can't believe that. Here come the hot mermaids. Oh, no. Fog's rolling in.

You'll see nothing. Thanks a lot, Nolan. No. Putting you on my enemy list for that one. You're the worst, Nolan. What's your take? It's like you're Newman. Nolan.

Nolan began. It's like as soon as you're about to see nudity. He's on me. Something happens. Nolan. I know he's on to get me, this Christopher Nolan guy. Come on, man. What's your take on today's show, Vanessa?

I, Maxi Pants, are coming soon to Peter. Get on your IMAX-y pants. Get on your IMAX-y pants so you can sit down and enjoy all the movies with no bathroom breaks. We'll make those immediately. What's your takeaway, Johnny? The DMV is full of party pooping bitches. Yeah, Jake got tossed with the DMV, but that means his punishment was not completed, so

we'll have to come up with something else. What's your takeaway from today's show, Jake the Nerd? Sephora makes you crap your pants. Yeah, Sephora. You don't want to get that, man. It's very contagious. Do you have a takeaway there, Allie? Yeah, I'm in my pubescence era.

Ellie's excited. She thinks she's a trendsetter. Get on board, people. Omar, final takeaway. Yeah, my takeaway is this. No, thank you. Just checking the mics. Just a lot of checking.

Not a lot of working, but a lot of checking. Glad we had two engineers in the room and no one got a call. This was our... Sorry about the sounds today. All right, well, there you go. We'll do it tomorrow and try to do it better. Couldn't do it much worse. And if you need us between now and then,

you can find us on the GOAT line, 844-956-COAT or on our Instagram at Klein Alley Show. All right, that's it. Goodbye. Klein Alley It's just okay

Klein Alley It's just okay Klein Alley It's just okay Just okay Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.