Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Klein's Balloon Animals, Johnny's "Cars" Theory and MORE

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

It's after 10 o'clock on a Thursday. Welcome to your pre-quend. Be up Thursday if you choose to celebrate. Enjoy yourself some breakfast or dinner. And tag us in whatever meal you decide to prepare yourself. A little dinner omelet, a little bowl of cereal for dessert. Nothing wrong with that. We've got lots to get to this hour, including your tickets to Ocean Way Festival.

If you've been paying attention to today's show, we have a quiz in your future. So, there's your warning. Study up or re-watch some of it right now up on YouTube where we are streaming live and download the podcast. You can maybe even listen to an hour that already happened. Catch yourself up. Get ready to participate in the Klein Alley Show quiz coming up later this hour. Hey, Rock, we're the Klein Alley Show. Someone's very upset with something that we did. One of us did something that has bothered a listener so much so that they left a very angry message on the GOAT line. And before I play the message, Allie, you want to place your bets on who has upset a listener? Or a former listener, I guess I should say.

It doesn't sound like they'll be continuing to listen. They sound very upset with something that was said on the show by someone. I know that there were some things said yesterday that I thought would get us in trouble. I'm going to go ahead and say that it was not something I said, but I was blamed. Okay, so you are the culprit, but it was not your fault. Yes. jake got a guess or did you load the goat line call so you know the answer uh i loaded the goat line calls yeah okay omar i want to take a guess as to who's uh said something

that's a family was dj omar khan he plays those sound effects all the time sometimes it's things we said months ago calling to complain about him out of context uh you know what the only thing that i could think of was your remark yesterday that was um on the line oh yeah that lady's pissed on the line I asked her about it there was a few things there were probably three things that jumped out let's not refocus everything that was said yesterday

let's just listen to the message hold on let's not turn this into a trial guys we all say things hold on hi this is in response to the comments made online about what you are going to do Klein is going to do to his wife while his kids are at

summer camp and you repeated that to your children, and as an elementary school teacher, I can tell you that your kids will go to school and repeat those comments to other kids. I told them I said I was... I don't think you should repeat it. Oh, go ahead. You don't think I should repeat it

again? No, because I think that I do think it was so gross, but go ahead. Is this a balloon animal? Yeah, turning mommy into a balloon animal. Huh. And apparently that was... Are you going to stand by it, or... No, I think after hearing this woman's call I'm not going to stand by it, but it's interesting. I want to hear

Listen to this Because she says what I did is as bad As the worst thing you could possibly do And laugh and snicker and make jokes But not fully knowing It's the equivalent of calling somebody An analogy Is calling somebody the n-word

Whoa Me saying that I'm going to turn Mommy into a balloon animal Is the equivalent of me Using the n-word I can't even we're so we're so far away she's so crazy for that bro that is so out of like maybe your other comment is uh as equal as an offensive analogy is calling somebody the n-word they don't know

what it means and you're right your kids don't know what it means but they repeat it at school so you need to use better judgment or better parenting skills with with your kids because it's grossly inappropriate what you said to them um have a good day thanks i mean i agree with like 90% of what she said. The N-word part I don't agree with, but it was gross and inappropriate. They don't know what it is. You know what it is. And you're saying it to your kids. You're making a sex joke

to your kids. I'm not making a sex joke. You are. They just don't know that that's what it is. I'm making a sex joke to my wife and more of a threat to my wife. You're using your kids to make a sex joke. But it went over their heads, though, because it went over my head. It doesn't matter. I don't even know what it means. So let me ask you a question then, Allie.

If the kids say, what are you going to do after we go to bed tonight? You guys You guys make us go to bed at 8 o'clock. What do you do? And my wife says, oh, daddy and mommy are going to play a little game. That is not the same at all. How is that not the same? That's not even a joke.

Well, it's not a joke. And it's just you guys playing around. It's not you objectifying your wife into being a giant balloon animal because you filled her with semen and bent her every single way. No, that's not what a balloon animal is. You don't even understand the comment. I'm not filling her with anything. I don't know if you're pregnant. Are you crazy?

It's about bending her in every which direction, right? We bend. We bend. She bends me. I bend her. We all bend. Right. She bends you.

Well, whatever. I'm saying it's a balloon animal. No one bends anyone. The point is, Johnny, we don't need so many comments from Johnny. Turn Johnny's mic off. He's getting a little confident over there. I'm just saying it's a very graphic image to paint of your wife in front of your children, even though they don't know it.

Well. but it's your life you say what you want what if i'm not saying it's the equivalent of the n-word but i get why she's grossed out because i was grossed out she's my balloon anima i used to a no i think you often make sex sexable references to your wife and in front of your kids do you not no no no no no not at all not at all i thought that was a kid reference i was doing like uh balloon animals they think those are fun didn't you write a sex joke on a valentine's day card when you were filling out Valentine's Day cards with your kids? Yes, but that was a problem

because that was something I was just supposed to slide over to her and it ended up getting pulled. But that was another sex joke made through your kids. Not through my kids. They weren't reading the card. It was like I filled out a card to her and it wasn't even that sexual and I was trying to be cute and flirty.

Boom, passed it along to her and it got mixed up with all the ones that went to class. Do you want to address the other thing you said yesterday? Hold on. Did your wife find it cute and flirty, the balloon animal joke, or was she disgusted? I'm pretty sure she was disgusted. Are you going to ask her?

She didn't like it. Because, yeah, if I were a woman, I would not like that comment at all. She, I don't think, liked it. And I probably wouldn't like it if it was made in front of my kids either. Let me see if she remembers it. The good thing is her memory is pretty much shot. So I feel like most of it is... That's good to bring it up.

Hey, we're on the air. Do you remember what I told the girls I was going to do to you while they were away? What you were going to do to me? And told them that I wouldn't be able to walk. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hold on, hold on, hold on. That is even worse.

Hold on. That was in reference to the balloon animal comment, remember? Yeah, but you kept telling them mommy wouldn't be able to walk. Whoa. That's first of all. This is disgusting. I have my takeaway for today. That is, you're leaving a lot of context out of this.

Okay, and did you like hearing that? You probably traumatized the kid. Okay, well, a teacher has called and said that it's the equivalent of me using the N-word. What? Yeah, I know. It is. It's not. It's not the equivalent of that.

All right, would you appreciate it if Klein stopped? making these jokes? I'm done being flirty. No more flirty talk. You can be flirty, but you don't have to... I'm not flirty, Kevin. It's true. It's not flirty. Well... It's just kind of objectifying. Alright, I'm done with it. Alright, so it's weird. Thank you. Okay, great.

Good. Thank you for joining. I love you. What? That's it? That's it. We gotta go. We gotta go. We're late. We gotta go. That's what she says after sex. Every time. That's it. I wasn't gonna be able to walk.

I can walk fine. I can do cartwheels. How's your walking these days? Okay? Ha ha. Okay. This conversation got started yesterday, but Johnny has a theory,

and his theory is that any attractive woman thinks Cars is one of their favorite movies or is the best Pixar movie, and we said, why Cars? and he couldn't really explain why. And we called him out on this being a stupid theory. And then he said he would go out and talk to attractive women and find out if they're a fan of the movie Cars.

He really volunteered quickly. He couldn't wait. And he hasn't volunteered for much. And you would think that Johnny, you know, we were saying where could you go and find just a ton of attractive women standing around. And we gave him some suggestions like go to the beach or Erewhon or Whole Foods or outside of a gym or something.

Rodeo Drive. Rodeo Drive, right. Nice place. His fans go. Not hard to find hot people here. Right, right. There's a lot of attractive people in this city. And we were impressed that he jumped on this opportunity so quickly until I realized that his place to go to talk to attractive people was just down the hall at this company.

He didn't go to any of the places we had suggested. Now, that's great. Hey, we talked about it yesterday. There's attractive people in this company. Yeah, you're right, Omar. It's a real beer mug move. Yeah, but Beer Mug would have lied about it. He wouldn't have done it at all.

That's true. He would have said he was at an Erewhon. But the reality is, so Johnny did talk to people, and here we go. Already, there's a little hole in the argument right out of the gate. I made the argument that hot girls love the Disney Pixar movie Cars. I love the memes more than I love the movie. So already we have someone that is more of a fan of memes than the film itself, and maybe the memes is what they grew up on more than the actual movie.

The memes come from the movie. So the movie's, like, obviously just as good as the memes. And you love the movie then, right? So now he's just putting... He's just putting words... Therefore, you love the movie, yes or no? Like, interrogating her. I don't think...

Don't say it, damn it! I don't think he understands what the goal is here. It was just to go up to people. Don't even tell them what you're doing. It's supposed to be objective. It's supposed to be very objective. Hi, what is your favorite... You're an attractive person.

What is your favorite movie? All right, name a few of your favorite movies and see if Cars comes up. But that's not really how he did it. He said right away what he was trying to find And then when they didn't say it, he said what they needed to say. It's just as good as the memes. And you love the movie then, right?

It's not like my favorite Pixar movie. So we're 0 for 1. What I heard is favorite Pixar movie. Thank you so much. We'll edit that. I mean, I wouldn't mind watching it again. There you go. That's right.

So he's 0 for 1 in his theory that attractive women all like the movie Cars. It has some funny moments. It just, when I saw it, I think I was like 10 when I saw it. It just was, it didn't hit me like, you know, Toy Story did or... That's true. Hot girls like Toy Story also. And now he's changed his entire argument to hot girls like Toy Story. Get back out there, Johnny, to the down the hall.

Johnny, and what are we talking the level of hotness here? Seven and above, eight and above, all tens. What are we doing? Oh, yes. Eight and above. He's only talking to eights and above. He said... And they work here all in the building?

He said... Vanessa, why did you... So bitchy of you, Vanessa. You just laughed. I'm laughing at Ali. she's like good question yeah i was so funny with the accent she did okay all right you like her impression of johnny fair enough uh so johnny said he's only talking to eights and above that are in this building supposedly and here we go here's another uh investigative report from johnny

to prove a point that uh all hot women like cars in the argument on air that hot girls love the disney pixar movie cars do you love the disney pixar movie cars who doesn't love cars that's what i'm saying what do you not love about cars there's comedy there's romance there's action there's cars ka-chow ka-chow ka-chow ka-chow i don't once again have you not seen the movie have you not seen it no i get i just i'm trying to figure out what what of anything we're trying to prove all hot women love movies do they love quoting the movie is it a quotable movie or is it maybe is it just about the memes i think it's just the because the movie came out when we were kids and we grew up with it and there's so many

quotable and iconic songs that came from it that it's like it grows with you as you get older. You're just picking a movie that is universally loved, so why would this be something different between hot women and mediocre women and ugly women? Women like me. And men.

Why is this something that's different? I can't explain it. It's just like in the world they just like it. Because if you were to go talk to ten ugly people, threes and below, and say Should we go to Three's today and ask them where? Plenty down the hall.

Mater is my doppelganger. You said the same stupid thing. I have a theory that all ugly people like cars. Do you like cars? They're going to probably also say they like cars, Johnny. So it's a stupid argument from the beginning. So now I want to ask ten ugly people. You have to lead the same argument, though.

I believe that all ugly people think cars are one of the greatest movies. Now let me ask you this, Scarlett. Start with Allie. I'll kick things off. Why don't you practice with Allie right now, and then you can do ten more today. Okay, so I'm only asking ugly people, do they like the Disney Pixar movie Cars?

Oh, what's not to love about Cars? I love Cars. All right, there you have it. I don't like one. That's right. Now we got it. In the case that hot girls love the Disney Pixar movie Cars, what's your name?

Dani. Do you love the movie Cars? I like it. It's a good one. But it's not your favorite? This is so lukewarm. Kind of. You wouldn't say you love the movie Cars?

I mean, it's definitely like towards the top of the list, but maybe I do love it. I don't know. Okay. You have to also think about how they're changing their opinion based on the fact that they're talking to Johnny. Of course. And he starts with this whole... So they probably don't like the movie, and then they're like, you know, I can't like anything. Yeah, this is proven zero.

It was a giant waste of everyone's time. That was also that person's first day of work here, too. Jesus, giant waste of time. Yeah. And last. All right, if you've been paying attention to today's show, you deserve a medal. But we don't have medals here. We do have tickets for you.

So if you can answer some questions about things that took place this morning, and would like to take advantage of the Klein Alley Shoshinway Quiz, you can score yourself tickets to Oceanway Festival by calling us right now and answering some questions. 800-520-1067. Go. Hopefully you've been paying a little attention to today's show and you can answer some questions. The last few days, people have done pretty well at the Klein Alley Show Quiz.

Of course, up for grabs, tickets for you to go to the Ocean Way Festival happen in Santa Monica in September. You will get to see Jack White and Sublime and The Killers and many others. And yes, we are making you jump through quite a few hoops this morning because you had to pay attention to the show and take some notes. If you want to just win tickets the easier way, you can just pretty much listen to K-Rock throughout the rest of the day. You'll have a chance to win tickets every hour. But if you want to win them from us, we make you earn them. And this hour, we'd like to prove that you've been paying attention to the show all morning. So it's time for another round of the Klein Alley Show Quiz.

The Klein Alley Show Quiz. Yeah, that's funny. Tee-tee, caca. I don't have fleas, I have ants. Chris Greger likes Walmart. You never call. Ozzy. I'm with you, Hitler.

Bitch. Bye, Carl. Voila. I'm going to start in Santa Monica because it's going to be convenient and she won't have to worry about trying to find parking. This is Maggie who gets the first shot at this, but if you're on the phone right now and your name is George or Kathy or Joseph or anyone else who I see here on hold, hang on hold because there's a chance we end up with you if Maggie fails. Maggie, good morning. Good morning. You've made it through.

You claim you've been listening to the show for at least a few hours this morning? Yes, I have. Taking notes at all or are you going to try to just go on memory? Lots of notes. Read us one note at random that you have, please. um so uh they're gonna go camping this weekend um her main concern was is there gonna be a shower okay all right well you have taken notes that's good some of these uh there is a question here on my list about camping so maybe that uh actually could help you here's your first question

in the uh clan alley show quiz you must get three in a row right or else we move to the next person yesterday we had someone got two right they fumbled the third we had to move on to someone else who understand it could happen to you as well but we're rooting for you okay all right question number one k-rock is known for playing alternative music but we did play some hip-hop this morning can you name one of the hip-hop songs that we played on k-rock this morning uh crisscross jump that is correct why did we play crisscross jump good question but we did play it and you got that right. And if you don't know why

we played jump, you should listen to more of the show because who knows how much jump you're missing by not listening to K-Rock. Alright, good question out of the gate. You're one for one. We go to question number two right now. Are you nervous? Yes, very.

We talked about a new age that experts believe we are theoretically able to live towards and our bodies are able to make us live? How long? This is the number that we talked about earlier today during clickbait. What is the age

that theoretically we can live until? 156. Wow. Nice job. Very specific number. Thank you. You wrote that note down too? Yes, I did. That's incredible. With a memory

like that, Allie, 156, easy. I hope you wrote this next one down. Alright, you've gotten two right. Comes down to this. lebron james gave his announcement away earlier today on the show to ali's unborn baby and ali's unborn baby who did join us on the show today from inside of ali's womb did accuse ali of doing something what did ali's unborn baby accuse ali of doing

stealing office supplies specifically highlighters let's find out if you're right Thanks, LeBron. I plan on being the Bronnie James of my family. I have to go now. My mommy's trying to steal office supplies by putting them up here with me. Oh, a highlighter. That is absolutely correct. Allie is stealing office supplies in her vagina.

All of that is in context, just as dumb as it is out of context. And you got that exactly right. Maggie, congratulations. Three in a row, you're going to Ocean Wave Festival. Congratulations. Hold on one second for those tickets. Thank you. Well played, and hopefully that was worth your entire morning today.

Oh, it was. Thank you so much. Thank you. Enjoy the festival. Tomorrow, more chances to win those tickets from us. And as we said, much easier chances to win them. Much easier. I just feel bad for everyone who's winning.

I mean, everyone who's just winning tickets by being caller 20. They don't have to answer a stupid question. I have to write down things about what my unborn baby said by putting a highlighter up my V. It's so ridiculous for so many reasons. But anyway, it is... Sorry we're making you do this. Yeah, I feel bad about it. It's really messed up.

Maybe tomorrow we just give away the tickets the way the rest of the station does it. This seems so unnecessary. What a waste of everyone's time. Let's do takeaways from today's show. And then we will get the hell out of here. Sluggo will be in with more of those tickets and a much easier way to win them coming up in moments. I'm Kay Rocco. What do we have for takeaways on the text line from today's show?

213, my takeaway is Allie's white lady dancing is wiggity, wiggity, wiggity whack. Oh, it is so wiggity whack. 650 rough camping involves a lake and a log 818 my takeaway is Jake has fancy sophisticated mustard 818 my takeaway is Jet skis baby 213 book em Dano

And 310 my takeaway is Congratulations Caroline Hey she's the big winner for Generation Wars Should be book em Nessa What is your takeaway Nessa From today's show If you're single look out for jorts Look out for jorts if you're single

That's the international sign you're dealing with a single person. If you're wearing jorts, Jake had a second date from Bumble. We had the audio, another date, another exit interview, a brand new exit interview, which we'll share with you tomorrow on the show. He claims he wore the same pair of jorts on date number two that he was told on date number one were a one out of ten on the fashion scale. But it didn't stop him from wearing them again. So we'll see if they work for him or not. That'll be on tomorrow's show. Johnny, got a takeaway?

Have you tried tinfoil on your windows? Try some tinfoil on the windows. It's the only thing that keeps the heat away, especially if you live in the valley. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is balloon animal, please. That's the same thing. That's not funny. Only other balloon animals can say balloon animal.

Yeah, you guys said the B word, Allie. Yeah, you're right. Omar, do you have a takeaway? Yeah, my takeaway is that Chris or Cross is dead. I think Chris is dead. But I did learn they're both named Chris. Someone claims that Allie reverse mushed them somehow. Like, they were not, like, somehow.

One of them was already dead. Well, I don't know. It feels like you're somehow involved in this. What is your takeaway? Is that it? Omar, we're all done. We're out of takeaways. No, no, I got mine.

Oh, Jake, go ahead. Tag will clean your can. Tag. Thanks, Tag. Want his number? I'll give it to you. $10 to get a clean can from Tag. Have a great day.

We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. In the meantime, there's a goat line for you. 844-956-GOAT. Oh, I did want to play this message before we go. Damn it. I was all ready to play the jingle and get out of here. you know what

I'll play it for you tomorrow right out of the gate we have a very nice message from Blind Charlie I didn't think he was doing well health wise but he seems like he's doing okay he left us an update

but he really wanted to I'll play it for you tomorrow we gotta go Sluggold will be in here in a moment and if you need us in the meantime you can find us

on the socials all things Klein Alley Show alright goodbye Klein Alley it's just okay Klein Alley it's just okay Klein Alley

it's just okay Just, just, just, just, just okay Thank you, ladies and gentlemen