Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Klein's Cockroaches, Collab or Fauxlab and MORE

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Hello, Maya. Why are you calling? Good morning. I'm trying to party with y'all at the Endless Summer Keg. You are the 20th caller and you don't sound like a lame-o, so we will see you there. Yes, can't wait. Let's go. So get ready for all your keg stand dreams.

You're going to have to help us lift Vanessa for her first ever keg stand. And you're going to have to help us lift Rob the Blob if he shows up. We're all going to have to lift Rob the Blob. He's going to be doing some crowd surfing. So do some cardio between now and then so you're ready to help us out. We'll see you at the Back Bay Amphitheater as we take the party to Newport for a change. And thank you for listening. And hold on one second so we can get you on the list.

All right? Yay! Thank you. You're very welcome. Do you think Rob can walk? No, no, no. There's no way, right? I think he's setting these four people to help him stand.

so I would imagine he needs four people to help him take steps as well. Oh, man, that's wild. There's a chance, the way I envision it at least, that he's in one of those bungee situations, like, you know, when the kids can't walk right away and they're in that little bungee thing where they bounce up and down. Oh, yes. In my mind, he's in something like that that allows him to be upright,

but I don't know. Where is the bungee connected to? I don't know. He'd have to probably center earth or something. Oh, God. God's fingers. Take a walk, Rob. I don't know.

That's our newest favorite person, Rob the Blah. I still want proof of fat, man. He's got to send a pic. Yeah, Vanessa, tell him he has 24 hours to give us proof of fat or we're moving on. Okay. They're asking for proof of fat. Can you please send me proof of fat? I don't want to waste anyone's time if this guy is pulling the rug out from under us.

You know what I'm saying? Okay. Lots to get to this hour on the show. believe it or not uh we start with somber because we must and then we get into everything else we have in store for you on k-rock including the return of collab or folap it's hard to keep track of all the people that are collabing these days some are made up some are real we'll get into that and give you more chances to win stuff from us on kroq good morning i showed ali a video this morning of what i encountered in my kitchen before i was leaving for work and she got to watch me

single-handedly take down a jumbo cockroach and the thing almost got away and this problem is now going on to week number two. I've done the sprays inside. I've done sprays outside. I put traps down. You hired people to spray, too. Sticky traps. I've done the sprays. Had a professional come do some sprays. Put down the sticky traps. Got stuck in the sticky traps.

Myself. Took me out. Hasn't you said that publicly? Yeah, and this is becoming a issue, and then we learned yesterday on the show that apparently the reason, if you're having more cockroaches, is not just because it's summer and they're trying to get inside and cool off like the rest of us. It's because they love

feasting on cardboard boxes and if you have cardboard boxes you are probably going to have bugs did the uh professional that came and sprayed did he mention cardboard no didn't didn't mention at all didn't mention even come up he said he just probably said it's hot outside so he said you do not have an infestation it's normal to have cockroaches people i see them all the time they're probably in every sounds like you have an infestation i mean it seems like there are a lot of them i'm seeing multiple every single day everyday multiples and some dead some alive some in some in the state of dying and then uh there's messages like this okay well heads up yeah cockroaches and other insects are really attracted to cardboard at work right now uh we

have a lot of cardboard boxes in our warehouse area and actually millipedes will often show up Even in the office area. So this guy's got a millipede problem. If you ever see a caterpillar, but it has like a hundred legs, that could be the reason why. That's not my problem. And I don't think that would gross my wife out. Give him a couple weeks. You'll have a millipede problem.

Yeah, I don't. The millipede's not an issue. Those don't have the bad PR like cockroaches have. They got bad PR. That's the problem. They're not likable. Like bees used to have bad PR. And then all of a sudden, everyone became bees are our savior.

Let's save the bees. They got a good new PR firm. and everyone started saying, protect the bees, save the bees. Yeah, now when I see them in a pool, I have to do the scoop. Yeah, people scoop them out. They don't even squish them. It used to be a squish. Hey, I killed this bee.

Hey, you're a hero. Now it's like you killed a bee. Like, what's wrong with you, you monster? Yeah, to like revive it and do like bee CPR. Cockroaches don't have that. Everyone universally hates them. Yeah, but I don't. There's no positive thing about the cockroaches.

The thing with bees is I think they're responsible for 30% of what we eat. Right. So I don't think cockroaches really. So take that, roaches. What are you doing to society? But I do want to say that my wife who blames me for the cockroach problem because she doesn't think I've handled it appropriately, I believe that she is actually the culprit because she is the only person that is – there's not been one cardboard box delivered to my house that I can think of in recent memory that had my name on it. It doesn't happen. Every once in a while, every once in a while, one shows up with my name and I get excited and it's something for her that just happened to have my name on it.

I know that you've ordered things before that you haven't even opened because you see the boxes and assume they're for your wife. so you don't even... Or you haven't sent here because you know that's the only way you're going to receive it. I used to get excited and say, oh my God, I got a package. It was Christmas. I didn't know. What did I get? And then it would open and it would be like makeup brushes. It definitely was not for me

and I was all annoyed and I'm like, what happened? She's like, oh yeah, put your name on the Amazon box. I fell for that a few times and now I don't even bother opening them. They're never for me. Does she put your name on there intentionally? I think she just wants to fool me every time. But listen, let's be honest. She now needs to learn, Dally, that she's the problem.

She's the problem. It's not me. I'm not the problem. Women love to hear that they're the problem. This will go great. Well, I was before, but Allie, we know. This is an ongoing fight that you are in. The fight is always that I don't handle things the way that they should be handled.

That I always go for either the cheap solution or the half solution that ends up coming back to not work out. Yeah, but even if you have been doing something. I've been doing a lot. But it's her fault. She needs to know it. Hello. Hey, I found out why the cockroaches keep coming over. Why?

Cardboard. what cardboard all your deliveries the cardboard box yeah look it up no cockroaches are addicted to cardboard it's their favorite food source you keep saying different things you're like the fluid from outside and it's on your comforter that you brought from upstairs listen to me right now what what is the fluid from outside that came onto your comforter she said not fluid from my comforter. It flew it. There was one on my comforter. There was? Downstairs.

And then he said that it flew in from outside, but he brought the comforter from upstairs. That it flew onto the comforter? It flew in. Are you moving the comforter because you're no longer sleeping in the room? I was getting ready for my couch sleep. That's all I'm going to say.

Danielle, look it up. We just got information. Cardboard boxes. There's no cardboard boxes upstairs, Kevin. There's cardboard boxes everywhere. That's all it is is cardboard boxes. Look around. Get rid of the cardboard.

You'll see the cockroaches go away. Trust me. Okay. I don't think you're right. All right, RFK. We've got to do a big cardboard burn. And I'm telling you, all those cardboard boxes you keep in the garage in case you get, you know, for shipping stuff, that's like a buffet for the car. Look it up.

Cardboard cockroaches. I mean, you still can't explain one from upstairs. Okay. Yeah, the converter, that's a weird story. All right, we've got to go. now i have to go yeah we have to yeah we have to go now that i'm out of defense whenever i make a point there's no point there's no point i dragged the comforter on the ground it picked up a cockroach on the ground danielle are you guys moving from upstairs kevin there's

no cockroaches upstairs but you dragged it from upstairs exactly and then the cockroach hopped on at the end hopped on at the end by the door at the end you don't even go by the door when You can bring it downstairs. All right. They don't know which path I took. Because the only way to get downstairs is by the door. An alive one jumped on your comforter? It was not alive.

It was dead. It was half alive. Half dead. Hey, maybe, though, in a two-week period, they're going to all be dead and it'll be done. I don't know. Get rid of the cardboard. The problem solves itself. You can get rid of it.

Okay. Love you. Another productive conversation. So, will this get brought up in therapy? yeah this will get brought up because she doesn't think i'm listening but i am listening and she's the problem i don't know something about something but regardless it's i mean your explanations for things sounded ridiculous ali that a cockroach flew in and onto your comforter is a crazy that's not true you're just making that up no no that's what happened no it didn't fly you didn't see it

fly onto you no that's what happened no that's not what happened listen i dragged the comforter You listen to your wife. And I dragged it by the door where they all seem to come in from. You didn't even go by the door. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She doesn't know. I brought the stupid thing down. I brought the blankets down.

She doesn't want to get in the bed now. She thinks the bed is infested now, too. She's right. Sounds like they're everywhere. The one that you showed me this morning on a video is right on your kitchen counter. Right. Yeah. That is bleh.

Yeah, that was pretty gross. I thought they were staying on the floor. I mean, the max I've ever seen in my any place I've lived ever is two or three total. At the same time? No. I mean, you're seeing six, seven a day. Yeah, I don't know. We're at a point now where I either have to admit she's right, which is terrible.

I can't do that. Give her the point on this. She is terrified of cockroaches. Nobody likes them, and they're in your house. If I say she's right, then she will bring this up forever. and any time moving forward there's ever a quote infestation which she thinks is a lot

she will say remember the cockroach thing you admitted I was right so I can't do that and there will be a lot of future infestations do you remember the mouse infestation and how you handled that you had the guy come over to the house and he just collected mouse poop and left and you never saw him again that was the weirdest thing

and then you moved because that guy, that was a weird guy he showed up with a Ziploc bag came into my house He was a weird guy. What about you? Took a bunch of mouse poop and left. He never called us again.

Never gave us any sort of a... Thank you, sir. I don't even know if... Where did you find this guy? He was one of the first neighbors I called. I'll take this. Excuse me. It was the weirdest thing that's ever happened.

Did he even have a vest on or any... Was he with a company? I thought he had like a lab coat or something, but I didn't see a company. I don't know. I wasn't home. He just took... I mean, maybe you're just not good at hiring the people.

Maybe she should hire the people. that would be the most expensive way to do it, and I would be livid. Well, clearly the cheap routes are not working. I'm usually with you on the cheap stuff, but this isn't working. Mika. Yeah, yeah. This is Micah. What's up?

Hey, shout out to NetBangers. Cockroaches have a trait that is called positively thigmotactic, which means they like surfaces on both the top and their bottom. And so cardboard boxes have all those folds, and that is, like, the perfect environment for cockroaches. And that's why they're attracted to cardboard. Thank you. Thank you for that. They love folds.

Call her back and tell her. I'm not. Your neck has a lot of folds, man. Think they're hiding it out there? Maybe they see the folds from a distance, and they're like, folds. Folds. Thank you. Hey, David, what's up, man?

What's up, man? Hey, so you need to get an iguana, man, because they eat cockroaches. Just buy an iguana, let it roam around the house, and you won't have them anymore. Oh, she'll love it. All right. That's a great solution. Next phone call. She doesn't want to get rid of her boxes, so I'm getting an iguana.

I got a guy there. And if you guys have cereal boxes, get containers. All right. This is all good advice. I greatly appreciate that. Iguana's moving in with me next. Collaborations are everywhere. It's hard to keep up with all the things that are happening.

I'm the only guy that I know that has been fooled multiple times around April Fool's about collabs that were not real, but I thought they were, and I got really excited, and I said, ah, if only that was real, but sadly, we live in a world that does not have peanut butter and jelly soup dumplings, and that's how it's going to be for now, and maybe one day that will change. We have real collabs that are taking place between brands, ones you're probably unaware of that are actually really happening, and ones we've made up. One is fake.

The others are real. It's time for something we call Collab or Folab. Here we go. once again everything you're about to hear is a real collaboration except one of them and if you figure out which one is not real the faux lab you will win your way into the collaboration of the end of summer including us collabing with slightly stupid and a keg of beer or multiple kegs of beer Excuse me. We say good morning to Dylan in Simi Valley.

Dylan has a chance to play his way into the show right now. Hello, Dylan. Hello. You're going to hear some collabs in a moment as presented by Jake, Omar, Ali, myself. And all you have to do is figure out which one is not real. Got it? Got it. Are you in the middle of eating right now or what is going on there?

No, I'm just working, but trying to talk to. Don't let us distract you. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep doing whatever loud thing you're doing. I'm not doing anything dangerous. is he is it dangerous no it's not dangerous what what is it that you do for work i'm just delivering stuff oh cool all right it can be dangerous you don't know where you're going all right uh here we go uh here we go it's a possible collab number one as presented by

jake the nerd listen closely all right man just in time for the new grand theft auto xbox is collaborating with ikea to bringing furniture and pillows inspired by the xbox and xbox controller collab number one is furniture from ikea that looks like xbox controllers could be made up could be real we go to possible collab number two dj omar khan what do you have for us yes sir um just in time for the nfl kickoff of the season we have disney and the nfl collabing all 32 football teams are going to be paired up with iconic disney characters for example the detroit lions are going to feature the Lion King on T-shirts, sweatshirts, things of that nature. The Buffalo Bills are going to have the Beast on their shirts,

and the Chicago Bears are going to have Baloo. And it goes on like that. Pretty lame. All right, so Omar says a collab between NFL teams and Disney characters. Sounds like an unlikely pairing. I wonder which character they're going to give to the Cleveland Browns. Pluto. Probably. Oh, is that right? That's right.

Probably one of the lamest Disney characters, too. I have a possible collab number three for you. It is a collaboration between everyone's favorite drink of choice, Buzz Balls, and everyone's favorite breakfast on the go, Pop-Tarts. That's right. Pop-Tart flavored Buzz Balls are now a thing. So you can enjoy your Buzz Ball with the sweet flavors of some Pop-Tart, including frosted brown sugar cinnamon or frosted s'mores.

If you want a Buzz Ball and you can't decide, what do I feel like for breakfast, Pop-Tart or Buzz Ball? You don't have to make that choice anymore. Unbelievable. And finally, possible collab number four. Allie has it for you. So this was going to be released later this year, but in honor of Dolly Parton's death, they are releasing early the Dolly Parton Barbie with removable boob cups that you can make larger.

They have all the sizes ranging from A to F. Of course, to promote body positivity, you can collect them all. and her body will be decked out in her signature red, white, and blue rhinestone bodysuit. So it's a Dolly Parton Barbie that has interchangeable boobs. So you can take out the cups, you can put on bigger ones, you can do one big, one small, but you got to... Why stop at F, by the way? Keep it going. I mean, maybe they're going to release more later. All right.

She definitely had bigger than Fs, by the way. Is that a... Do you have to pay extra for the big boobs? It comes with two different sizes, but you can buy an additional pack. Oh, okay. Sort of like earbuds, you know, where you can do all the different sizes and figure out which one fits you the best. All right, one of these is made up. The others are shockingly real. Which do you believe is the faux lab, the fake collaboration Dylan?

Oh, you guys made it hard on me. I want to say the first one. The first one you believe to be made up? Yeah. Is that the Xbox one? That's the Xbox one that Jake said. So let's go ahead and clear the deck and see if you're right. And by the way, if you are right, you're going to join us at the Endless Summer, Kegler.

If you're wrong, we're going to go ahead and turn this into a Color 20 situation. So someone will win. Let's go ahead and eliminate some that you thought were real. So you thought that the buzz ball, the one that I brought, the buzz ball Pop-Tarts was real? I felt like that had to be the most real one. uh shockingly what i just shared with you about buzz balls and pop tarts is very very real favorite childhood toaster pastry is getting an adult twist how about this the ready to drink cocktail brand why couldn't we get a taste test on this

whoa i've had them before oh they're very good so that one's got a drinking problem Yes. But anyway, that is a correct answer, and that one is real, so you have already played the game smart. Let's see if you are actually able to win, though. We go to possible collab number two. You thought was also real between Disney and the NFL. Omar, was that a real collaboration?

You know, it is. It's happening, and the further I look into it, the weirder it is because you're a fan of the Washington Commanders, right? Yes, I grew up a fan when they were called the Redskins. I'm less of a fan now because the name stinks, but yes, we're right. But they're collabing that team. They're putting together with Ham, the pig from Toy Story. Oh, my God.

So it's kind of like a nod to their previous name? Well, if it was this, they should have gone with Pocahontas would have been the right Disney character to go with. It's the right offensive thing. Yeah, that would have been the right one. Ham, it's because people call that team the Hogs. It's one of the nicknames of the team. That's why. But it's a deep cut thing and not the right.

I mean, Disney has a great character that would have been perfect, and you blew it. so anyway all right omars is actually right as well so good job so far it's down to two now jake said ikea and xbox ali said barbie and dolly parton with the removable boobs uh if you are right that would mean jakes is made up jake is yours made up uh man let me tell you this furniture looks so uncomfortable it is real and it shouldn't be oh no damn dude yeah dolly parton and barbie are not collaborating in her death and they are not coming out with a giant breasted Dolly Parton Barbie. There actually might be one out already.

That double sucks. Yeah, I think there was a Dolly inspired Barbie at some point that was released. At some point. It didn't have removable boobs. Did not though. Well, there you go. That sucks for Dylan. But good news for you if you want to be the 20th caller right now at 800-520-1067. You will be rewarded with

tickets to drink with us. Who knows? Maybe we'll throw some Pop-Tart Buzz Balls in the mix at the endless Summer Kegger. Looking for you to join us. Call at 20 right now. 800-520-1067. six seven do some takeaways from today's show and then slugger will be in here and he'll probably do the proper tribute to i know we were still talking about dolly parton and he was the one who broke the news on k-rock yesterday much better tribute than the one johnny gave to ozzy osbourne

when that happened live remember that my bud i miss you my buddy my buddy ozzy's gone it was very nice very touching very emotional tribute yesterday uh and then i believe he played uh jolene jolene jolene jolene that's why we're not wrong with you that's why we're not good at the tributes. I was trying to put the southern tone on. Go Lane! So we're not good at that. Clearly, I can't possibly do a tribute the right way. That's why Slug does a professional.

He'll be in here moments for that. Hey, Brigitte! Yes? Did I get that right at least? It's Brigitte. Brigitte. Brigitte. Brigitte! You're coming to the Endless Summer Kegger,

alright? Kegger! Kieger. We'll see you at the Kieger. Yeah, we'll see you there. It's September 3rd, and we'll give you all the details you need, and we can't wait to drink with you, all right? It's in Newport Beach.

Me too, me too. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Slightly Stupid will be there, too. And us. We're fully stupid.

No, we're fully. Takeaways from today's show, and then we will turn things over to Sluggo again for, you know, your 90s at noon and more of those tickets to go see Weezer and everything else. Sally, what do we have for takeaways? 626. My takeaway is Dolly Parton will always be remembered as a muse. That was my first trick of the day. If people could stop dying, you put me in a very hard...

We don't know how to handle this. Yeah, we're not good at this. So there's people that are good at it, and we're not. Let's see. 650 Dolly Parton loved the USPS. She sure did. 562, my takeaway is they're taking all the wrong white people. Yeah, we're in a Johnny.

All the good whites are gone. 213, according to Odyssey, drink a glass of water every two minutes. Got to keep drinking that water. Stay hydrated in this heat wave. 818, say it in her accent. Ooh. 909, Jake doesn't have cornmeal. 626, Apple Watch chimes are just like Jake's crickets.

And that Jake is a big fan of anime. Loves anime. Oh, God damn it. 818, my takeaway is Rob the Blob eats it. And 818 is that celebrities would rather die than sleep with Allie. Yeah, this is crazy. Ever since she said she was going to sleep with a celebrity, We've got a couple of good leads that came in during the show today,

including some that we can't talk about on the air yet, but we do think we're moving a step closer to Allie getting herself a celebrity hall pass one-night stand. So that's cool. Maybe it's not full sex. Maybe it's just a heavy make-out. Does that count? I mean, look, if it's a big enough celebrity, I think it would count as something. I mean, making out, a heavy make-out with an A or C lister,

I would feel like that would be very brag-worthy. Do you want to tell people what your wife texted you off the air? Yeah, she texted me, no men. She changed her mind ever since we had her on. I think she started realizing that this could happen. Yeah, when she heard that guy that was a stunt double for Dewey, she got freaked out. I don't blame her. He's going to spill it over you.

He's a professional spiller. I get you. I get you good. He is professional just for having things spilled on him. Amazing. Star power. And he never did anything else after Malcolm. What's your takeaway, Johnny?

Allie can't do it with Dewey. She can't do it with Dewey anymore. It's too bad. Vanessa, takeaway? Client's getting an Iguana. A what? An Iguana. Iguana.

Isn't that a Spanish word, Iguana? I said it. No, you didn't. Iguana. Iguana, like Tijuana. An Iguana. Iguana. Iguana.

We're not good at speaking in words here. Take away, Jake. Hey, when Omar says anal, you got to do it. Yeah. It's a verbal contract. Omar, take away. We don't have the dolly audio, but we have this. I poofed my pants and I don't have underwear.

I'm sure of that. That's a very good quote right there. That's a tribute right there to pants, mostly. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is roaches need millipede PR. They got to get some of that good PR. It's too bad. It's just too bad.

We're not going to be able to deal with it. Have a great day. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, you can find us all over the place, including our Instagram, Klein Allie Show, or the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. All right, that's it. Bye.

Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Do-do-do. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.