Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Klein's Daycare, Johnny Doesn't Know and MORE

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley's show in just a moment. But in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines. You're going to be miserable. You're going to say, oh, I've got to get there two, three hours before my flight, not at San Bernardino International Airport.

And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. This is the world Famous J. Rock. This goes to show you we're still not good at tributes. I try to get that, try to sneak that song in

before the new hour the show began, pay some respects to a newfound glory and couldn't even get that right. So, you know, we did a bit of a tribute on Friday's show.

I didn't realize when it happened, what was happening. We got a phone call from the brother of the NBC reporter that sadly lost her life when that helicopter went down.

And the brother turns out to be a fan of the show. and he called and we had a nice chat with him. And I didn't realize it would be so impactful of some of the listeners. This one called Crying over the weekend of the Goat Line. I just listened to interview with you, Johan, on my podcast. This is why Jay Rock is so wonderfully perfect

because we're so completely all flawed. That was beautiful, quite an alley. You guys did a really good job. I know that was really, I mean, so hard that you said perfect. things, especially kind when you said, we're all connected in some way with a helicopter to him. That probably helped him a lot. And sweet divot, I love you. Oh, man, very emotional lady.

It was an emotional week. There was a lot of tragedy that happened last week. Sure was. And local, you know, they are a part of our lives. There were a couple times over the weekend I saw a helicopter in the sky. I thought about, you know, you kind of just looked at it differently, thought about it differently. It weighed heavily. Yeah, well, some clips went up.

Oh, no, not now. Not now, Fat Joe. That's a real tragedy. Yeah, that is another. That's also heavy. It's also a heavy tragedy. If you'd like to go see Somber, that's the next pair of taking. I'm from New York.

Don't think about it. Omar's machine is failing him. We've got tickets for you to see somber right now. I'm from New York. It's not somber. This is somber. Here at us. You want to go see Sombard?

It's part of K. Rock's ticket blowout. Where's he from? New York. I'm from New York. Call right now. 800. 800. Oh, my dad.

Yes, I'm for New York. 800. 52060-1067. Tickets to go see Sombor and not Fat Joe will be yours next on KRO. Tickets for you to see that guy right there. And if you are the 20th caller, that Pee's. I'll pick up your phone call next. Hello.

Peter. I was trying to say Peter. And I got ahead of myself. Hey, Peter, you're messing up my language, dude. Congratulations. You are the 20th caller. Congratulations. Heck yeah.

You'll be going to see some somber. It's all part of K-Rox's ticket blowout. More chances to win tickets every hour. Not to get too excited, but next hour, you won't be eligible because you just won. My Kim, I think it's the Halloween show at the Hollywood Bowl. So be ready to call and claim those tickets with Slug up. Way better ticket. We'll be doing that all day.

All day long. This is not Weezer. This is somber. Peter, hold on one second, all right? Got it. All right, hold it. Another satisfied customer. Yeah, we really know how to ruin people's good time.

God damn. Ali, question. I know that we're going to get to the gayest football highlights of the week because, you know, week two NFL action, nothing more exciting than that. You broke down the games in a very different way. You're at a point now. You have a four-year-old,

and when you have to take your kid to any sort of a birthday, you have to stay there at the birthday. right? Yeah. And now we've been trying to go together to both parents. I just got to the point where I could drop and leave. Well, yes. Oh, nice.

It's glorious. It's awesome. Eventually, you can get to a place where it's really like the party is now more for you because you get to two hours to yourself. Hell yeah. I'm like, oh, hey, peace out. So, uh... Text me when you're done.

I, uh, I had a birth. I had two birthday parties for my kids this weekend. And I offered, as every kid got dropped off, I, said, hey, you can get the hell out of here to parents, which is my way of saying that's a lot on you though, because you have, oh, because I said Don't you feel responsible? Yeah,

to a certain extent, but one of them was at a gym, so there was like only so much that was going to happen that played some dodge ball, playing a basketball. Yeah, I didn't want to do a gym, wanted to do a basketball party. I didn't want to do a basketball party. These guys are going to watch you work out. Happy birthday. No, not a, not a gym, like a gymnasia, like a basketball court. Not a gym.

Not a gym. Not a gym. You were not doing things right, dude. This is what my kid wanted to do. I got to play basketball. I got a... Oh, got it. There was a school. You could rent their gym out for an hour. Oh, cool.

And they did like a scrimmage. So the parents showed up and I said, hey, here you go. Thanks for everything. You can get the hell out of here. Good. Go, go. And they said, nah, we're going to stay. Now, that sucks for me because that means now...

Annoying, awkward parent... You got to feed them, and you got to talk to them. And you got to talk to them. I'd rather feed them than talk to them. I'd rather do neither. Which is why I said to every parent, as soon as they came, and if anyone said to me, you can leave your kid and go. They wouldn't even finish their sentence before my car would be peeling out of that parking lot.

I'd be out. I'd say that two hours to myself. But you say that in the invite? You got to be here by it. No, but when they arrived, even better, like unscheduled time off, I said, hey, by the way, they're just going to hang out in this gym. There's a coach here. It's going to run them through some drills.

It's going to play a scrimmage. You guys can leave. And I was shocked that not one, not one. Not one? Not one? Not one? Because, you know what happens? As soon as one parent sits and they, everyone thinks they're going to get judged if they leave.

So then they feel like they're being a bad parent. So I said to one of the parents that I was kind of friendlier with, I go, hey, can you leave and see if anyone else leaves too? And as soon as the first parent goes, all right, well, I guess I'll get out of here and go get myself. All of a sudden, another one left, another one left. And I said, this is the greatest thing ever. The things that parents do just out of guilt. Oh, my God.

All of it is guilt at this point. No one wants to look like they don't care. But trust me when I say, everyone wanted to get the hell out of there. I knew it. I could see it in their faces. At this point, these kids are eight. They've got to pictures of their kids. Well, yeah, I think at eight, nine years old,

the kids have reached the point where they don't want their parents around. Like, I'm still at the age where my kid wants me there for everything. No, I doubt it. I'm telling him. Ask him tonight. Ask him. I will. Do you want me all your things or would you like me to leave?

I will ask him. In fact, Ali, I have an interview with a kid that got a chance to meet you over the weekend. This was at, I think, where were you at Octoberfest or something? This was at Octoberfest, yeah, at Anagrin. Now listen to this kid. You think you're lovable by children. This kid was very honest. Kids are brutally honest.

Listen to this. Did you meet Allie? Yeah. What did you think? I liked it. Yeah? Is it everything you hoped it would be? Yeah.

Do you think she was pretty? Yeah. There's a kid who met you. What a weird question from Jake. But hold on. You're about to get the official rating. What it was like for a child to meet out? How big of the Allie fan are you?

One out of one. 1,000. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. One out of a thousand? That's so low. This guy gave you a score of 1 out of 1,000. Whatever, kids don't know how much. That's your score. Perfect sense. One out of 1,000, 1,000. Hey.

He's doubled it now. Now they're 1,000 out of 1,000. That's how much this kid didn't like you. All right. Well, 1,000. Yeah. So not very day. 1,000. Did you freak out when you met her? I can't stop smiling. Oh, what? You can't stop smiling.

That's a child. right there. So he gave Alia the appropriate score of one out of a thousand. A thousand a thousand. One out of a thousand a thousand. It's just the lowest score that's ever been given ever. No, we were actually, at that October Fest thing, there was a Ferris wheel.

We were in line with another one of our friends, my kid's friend. I said, you want to go on with your friend? Why don't you guys go together? It's going to be fun. He said, no, I want to go with you. And I had just gotten a giant Bratworth. I said, well, what am I going to do with this giant hot dog that I have in my hands?

Gerbil it? And I gerbled it. Really freeing feeling to be on a Ferris wheel with the Bratworths in your butt. Ali gerbled the Bratworths and only got a one out of a thousand or a thousand. That's crazy. She should have a much higher score, right? Okay, Rock with your client, Ellie Show. Okay, this is an angry message.

Oh, no time for angry messages right now because we have to get into a round of Jenny doesn't know. It's a one question lighting round, and you will score yourself a four pack of tickets to the off-road Expo at the OCE Farrant Events Center, October 3rd and 4th. And if you'd like to call and play, the number to join us is 8005-2060-1067. We will get into that. competition is what it's all about this time of year. Football all over the place. Today you got the Rams, Monday night football at SoFi.

Vanessa's going to be on the field. She's really stressed about it. The Giants. Vanessa's already got her Rams hat on. By the way, hat is winning. I mean, there's a poll up on our Instagram right now,

but baseball cap is crushing all of the other nominees for the Lifetime Achieve Award Hall of Fame. Seems like it. When you think about a baseball hat seemed like a ridiculous nominee, but then when you really think about it, the amount of times that a hat has been there for you. And someone pointed out something Vanessa didn't even mention,

which is when you are about to throw up and you have the last minute thing to throw up into. You could just pull the hat off and throw up right into it. Someone brought that up as well. So Vanessa, good job. You're winning that now, but that will change. You can get your votes up on our Instagram at Klein Alley Show. Of course, tonight Vanessa will be broadcasting on the field for us

exclusively on Klein Alley Show's Instagram from the game to get ready for the Rams Monday night football opener against the Giants. I don't count that first game in Australia as a game, so this is where it all begins. How do you not count it? That was a game. That was a BS game. Both coaches said that was BS and they never want to go back to Australia again.

I'm sure the other coach that won was a little happier about it. He said it too, though. He said it was stupid waste of time. And the NFL made some money grab league with Australia. There were too many plugs for Australia tourism. Of course. That's who paid it. By the way, the beautiful Sydney.

They paid a ton of money to get the NFL to go there. And the NFL said it was bad for all parties involved. And not fair. I think it screwed up a lot of things, including gambling. Fine, sure. But also seeing clips of Australians that have been drinking since 6 in the morning with their shirts off was pretty rewarding. If you'd like to play Johnny doesn't know, we'll call us now. We'll get into that in a moment.

But first, if you missed it, these were your gayest football highlights from week two of NFL action. Here are the gayest sports highlights from the week. Absolute piss missile up the sideline. Samer's still stinking and CD settles in that hole. Just a little bit of a rub right here as you're kind of releasing. for Dicker. And this one is Doink!

A massive doink! Menangai, straight ahead, lowers the pads. Once he got to the inside, you can see him in the scene, jerk off. That's not good for the soces, Andrew. That's like you filming your son playing soccer. Andrew. No room for a day to work.

He got flushed down after the gain of one. Tails? It is tails. You like the ball? Do you like the ball? He is untowulfed. touched. A hand is not going to take him down. He does his little dance.

Oh, okay. That was, that was weird. These have been the gayest sports highlights from this week. Woo. Close. I like to say that early contender for a favorite gay line of this football season

would be doink for dicker. Double docker. That is a double doink. We'll do some puddle of mud now and then we'll get into a round of Johnny Doesn't know. Lightning Round Edition. One question stands between you and Glory. Glory today is a four pack of tickets to the Offroad Expo at the OCE event center happening October 3rd and 4th. Win next on K. Rock. Grabbs now at K. Rock, one question and one question only. It's the Lightning Edition of Johnny doesn't know. It's your daily reminder to stay in school and graduate twice because Johnny claims he has not one but two degrees. D's get degrees and Johnny got this job because of D's as well. So let's say hi to Postmaster Johnny. Hello. He was in the KROC studios now to answer one question. You don't need to know the answer.

You just need to know if Johnny will know the answer. So here we go. Oh, my goodness. That's not it. That is the appropriate intro for Johnny. And now I'm more gay as sports highlights with Johnny. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay.

Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in Vada for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Jolato sounds like Jello. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes, wogoo, wiggles. Wiggles. Historical figures round of Johnny doesn't know.

We're going to give him a historical figure, and he just has to figure out, will Johnny know who this person is? Do you think you'll know? Oh, yeah, I love this one. You do well with historical figures? Harriet Tubman, man. Is that, well, that's not the...

That's the only one. It's the only one. If it's not Harriet Tubman, you're in trouble. Let me say hi to Patrick from Porter Ranch. Hi, Patrick. Welcome to K. Good morning. Hi, good morning.

Sweet Dibbitt. Sweet Dibbitt. Well, John, well, John, I know who Marco Polo is. Yes or no? Oh. Let's see. Did he just claim he's a history buff? He says he's a history buff, but primarily about Harriet Tubman.

Hmm. Marco Polo. Oh, I am going to say Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know. He's locked in on Johnny doesn't know. Up for grabs, four tickets for you. Johnny, who is Marco Polo? I know he's kind of like Christopher Columbus.

He's one of those like Discovery dudes. he's probably Spanish like a conquistador or something like that but he was like why you're giving me a good look Alley Am I? Am I on it? I don't know I'm interested in what you're about to say I think he's like a Spanish conquistador from like the 1400s

And But you said he's one of those discovery types Yeah like he was on a boat and he probably like colonized some like area But what is that what does a discovery type person do? Like what are they known as? Explorers. There we go. That's a better word for it.

Do you think Marco Polo was an explorer? Yeah, he was an explorer, and he came to a new land, and he claimed as his own. And he's probably like friends with Christopher Columbus. You think he's friends with Christopher Columbus. They were probably in the same grade. Okay. Well, you've said a lot of things that are definitely wrong here. Marco Polo was a Venetian traveler.

I was close. But I'm actually surprised behind. Johnny didn't mention the game the kids play in the pool. I thought that's all you would know. That's what all you would have said. Oh, yeah, but that I knew he was based on there, too. I know. We all assumed that he was going to say that's a guy that literally got lost in a swimming pool.

Oh, right. And they never found him. So we're going to play a game forever to fight his ghost. And he described the most of his journey specifically in Asia. Damn, so I was way off. Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to, you got explorer, though, which is technically right. He was an explorer, yeah. But Patrick, I like you anyway, so we'll give you the tickets because we must do that around here.

We have takeaways to get to and more tickets to give you, hold on one. second. Give you Dominic Fike now and then wrap up the show with your takeaways. And we are back in less than one minute now. I bet you can hold your breath during this song. It's a challenge. Do some takeaways, get the hell out of here. Sluggo's going to be. And got more tickets for you coming up. It's part of K Rock's ticket blowout, which means you'll win them every hour again in less than 30 minutes. And all day long, straight up through 6 p.m. here on K.Rock. Takeaways from today's show before we say goodbye to you for now.

And takeaway, unseasoned, could still mean very seasoned. Yeah, man, I got fooled by Adolf. Again. Again. My lineage was fooled, and so was I. I can't believe that. I mean, this could be pending lawsuit. I'm interested in the final total.

Thousands of dollars were the vet bills and the numbers climbing still. If you missed that part of the show, check out the podcast wherever you get your podcast. 2.13, my takeaway is Allie doesn't stand for hogwash. No, she doesn't. 323, the future is bald, but only if you're already bald. 424, Caratop is being extorted over a sex tape with Kevin Klein. I was not involved in the sex tape, but I bet you we had giant sex toys. 909, if you're dumb but want to look smart, look at charts and graphs.

818, crypto got a Lisa Lesbo's statue. And 818, Klein is king of the cranky dorks. I didn't go. I wasn't even invited to that event, but I would love to go next year if they have it back at the in-and-out-by-L-L-X. Don't worry. I signed you up for the email list. Did you seriously? I'm such a bitch. And it was like, do you want daily emails weekly or events only?

And I clicked all. This is one of the things you have been doing lately. In fact, from the very beginning, I think before I even met you, I think the first thing you told me was, by the way, I gave your email address to get a smoothie at a gym. A free smoothie. Those things could be like 20 bucks. I still get emails from that effing gym. Just unsubscribe. What's your takeaway from today's show Postmaster Johnny?

All right, what's your takeaway from today's show? Vanessa? The kids will be smoking protein in the future. That's right, vaping that protein. Takeaway there, Jake the nerd. Yeah, when you work at Tony Romas, you're a flobotinist. Yeah, that's what we learned. DJ Omar Khan, takeaway? Nope, that's not playing.

That's not playing. All right, Allie, takeaway? I thought you were taking Johnny's take away. That's exactly what it was. Johnny's microphone. How can you guys not get that? What the hell? What the hell?

My takeaway is hamburger sauce, is otherwise known as ketchup. Yeah, we learned that as well. Have a great day. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you use the meantime, you can use the goat line. No, no, no, no, no, trying to do better. Well, we'll try to do better.

We won't do better. We'll try. We'll try for a link of 10 minutes. And now, Allie's going to tell you a very hot lesbian story that starts right now.