Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Old People's Secrets, Klein's Leaf Blower and MORE

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous KROQ.

Call 20. How would you like to go see the Foo Fighters? This is part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout, and we're looking for you right now. The number's 800-520-1067. Once again, you've never called before, perhaps. Never won before, so what's the point? Well, we are live. We've got working phones for a change, and we're looking for you at 800-520-1067.

Yeah, don't get down on yourself. It could happen for you. And if you need to feel better about yourself, you just heard one of the messages about Jake and his sad mustard sandwich recipe. You can see that video up on our Instagram, Klein Alley Show. Here's another person concerned about Jake. Klein Alley, I got to address something here.

Jake, if you do not have lunch money, let me send you money, okay? It costs a dollar to get a stack of deli meat at any store. I don't know how in the world you could ever be so cheap that you can't afford lunch meat that you have to eat just a mustard sandwich. That is beyond El Cheapo. Well, here's the thing. I think that that was Jake's like everyone's got them, you know, a meal that would be their struggle meal. And ramen was for a while was ramen. Then ramen kind of became cool and hipstery.

But for a while, ramen was the acceptable struggle meal because it was super cheap and you could fill you up. Jake's struggle meal was the mustard sandwich. I don't think he eats that by choice now. Do you, Jake? Sometimes. But this guy is lying. You can't get a stack of meat for a dollar. Deli meats are way more expensive.

Yeah, they are. And why would I buy it if I could almost taste the meat already? Yeah. But you could actually taste the meat. It ain't worth it. And if the guy, if he spent $5 on deli meat, Ali, he could put a slice per sandwich. I mean, it's not going to be a great. That's a waste.

I don't know, man. And a pack of deli meat's like 12 bucks these days. Jay, I thought the mustard sandwich was a joke. I didn't realize that you are still making that for me. They're good. They're not good. On that bread, I got fancy bread and fancy mustard. Yeah, but you wouldn't even have like a piece of cheese, like nothing?

No, mustard, nah. Cheese and mustard don't go together? No, cheese and mayonnaise go together. Oh, my man. What? So the mustard sandwich is a real thing that you, like when's the last time, I know you made the video to show you could make it in the street during the heat wave, but when is the last time you actually made yourself a mustard

sandwich for real? It's been a little bit because I haven't had mustard. I was eating beans. Okay. Beans just by themselves or bean sandwiches? No, beans and cheese and spinach. Okay. Let's say hi to Brenda now that everyone's lost their appetite. You wonder why you have ass issues.

I mean, Jake. That's good stuff. That's a full protein right there. It's too much what you're doing. Brenda, you are the 20th caller from Lawndale. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, welcome. You're welcome.

You can go see Foo Fighters as part of KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout. So enjoy yourself some Foo Fighters. You will not be disappointed. And hang tight for those tickets. By the way, if you're listening and you're annoyed that you didn't get through, don't worry. You have another chance every hour now, all day long. And you'll be seeing all the bands that you wanted to see. I don't know which band will be which hour, so just keep listening to win your way in.

Allie, if you'd like to live forever, that's the gift we can give our audience today. We have a brand new Old People's Secret, and it's a double. It's a two for Tuesday, as they call it. I'll take the double. In the biz. I'll take the double. We'll come back with that in a moment. Two old people interviewing each other.

Sisters? Brothers? I don't think they're even related. They just happen to be turning 110 and 107, and they'll share with us their secrets. So we will get to that after this one from Julia Wolf on KROQ. Give you the gift of living forever. Earlier today, I heard stories about times people almost died. But how would you like the gift of eternal life?

We talked to the old people because every week someone else turned 110. They share that news immediately, their secret to living forever with the local news. They make a big deal about it. It's very exciting when someone lives to 110 because I think even though technically our bodies are built now to live to 156 years old, they claim. No one's ever gotten that far. We've never made it that far. But, yeah, they are saying babies born now will probably live to 120 easy. Damn.

And you start figuring out all the stuff with the blood spinning and the peptides and everything else. You know, we could probably figure out how to get it up to, I would imagine, I'm just trying to think, when we, we're not going to make it. Oh, no, we're done. We're toast. but I could see, like, maybe Johnny has a shot at it. Vanessa, too, potentially. Although I heard Vanessa went nuts on the donuts today. Yeah, she had a couple donuts already today.

I had two. Jesus Christ. Okay, so that's my one thing, okay? Sounds like it's your tooth. I'm weak. I'm weak. I mean, you're bigger than her head, those donuts. Yeah, massive donuts.

I thought you said stay away. I know, but you know what? I saw you hovering. You were hovering over that box for a while. But think about it. It's been a while, so I'm proud of myself. She came in and said... My knees are tight.

My butt is huge. All right, relax. She's been running. It's back to normal. Don't talk bad about yourself. All right. I heard you completely caved today. Did you grab two at once and eat them at the same time?

No, I had one. I waited like an hour. No, you didn't. You brought the donuts in and said, I had one already. Yeah, I had one. Oh, before she even brought the box up, she had one? No, yes. And then I waited an hour to have the second one.

Where did these donuts come from? Because I thought we told listeners, stop sending donuts. It was from Kimberly, the listener that gave us the gender reveal. Oh, the gender reveal we did today? They sent us donuts? Yeah. Oh, and Vanessa went to town on those, huh? Maybe the answer was inside.

We'll never know. I ate it. Was it pink or was it blue frosting? It was pink. Oh, okay. Well, congratulations. You're having a girl. Yeah, Vanessa.

Man, oh, man. Well, the thing about these secrets, though, and say, well, who's the secret to long life? You know, one person will say, I never drank in my life. And another person will say, I have brandy every single day. So that's why we get confused. And then it's like, well, might as well eat the donut because I don't know what the hell is going to make me live longer. What's not? And then you start to realize maybe there's no rhyme or reason to it.

It's just all part of God's master plan. It's time for Old People's Secrets. From chicken brain to drinking rain. Not getting laid. They call me the barmaid. They call me the barmaid. That's right. Let's live forever with Sweet Divot

Sweet Divot Time for some Old People Secrets This is not one but two, Allie. I'll take the double. Two for Tuesday, Old People Secrets. Take a listen. Well, a big day in Jacksonville today. Miss Willie Mae Jackson, who you see right here,

is turning 110. Greatest old person name ever. The last few weeks, we've had the best old people. Willie Mae Jackson, awesome. Awesome baseball player? Yeah, I think so. Willie Mays, right? That's right.

She has multiple records. Multiple records and helped break the color barrier, so all very impressive. And in Folkston, Georgia, Miss Sally Chapman is celebrating her 107th birthday this month. Now, together, they have lived through two world wars, the Great Depression. This is where they list all the depressing things that they lived through. And they can do it double because there's two of them. There's two of them, the Greater Depression. The remarkable transformation of America.

So what's their secret to longevity? Well, I spent time with both of these amazing women and their daughters to find out. Oh, my God. That was some story. That probably took her all day. They weren't in the same room, at least, at the same time. Because I think that you'd have to figure it out, you know, if you have two old people. What about you?

What about you? How does it feel? I feel good. No, there's no way. They're drowning right with the music. They're playing her off already. But she's... It has to be sedated, right?

It sounds like it. Yeah. I mean, that's why you feel good, obviously. Well, most of the time. You're on drugs all the time. Yes. I feel good. Yeah, feel good on that oxy.

That's another hit. She raised a family, worked as a cook, and says the secret to a long life. Okay, hold on. Ooh, already. Yeah, they don't have time to waste. It's 110. They got to get it out quick. You got to lead with the secret or else you lose it.

Oh, man, she's a cook. She's a cook. Now, this is only one of the two old ladies. Is this Willie Mays here? This is Willie Mays Hayes. Okay, all right. Willie Mays Hayes. What do you believe her secret is to a long life?

She said she feels good. I think she's going to say good food. Good food. Like good clean eating. All right, clean eating. Jake? Stealing the bases. Got to steal the bases.

That's a good answer right there. Omar, got a guess? I think she's going to give no answer answer. I think she's going to fade out mid-sentence. Yeah. Thank you. We'll go to the next one. That's why they have another old person.

A backup. A backup. An understudy old person. If we can't get the 110-year-old to give us one, we'll go right to the 170. Well, both survived. I guess we'll run both. Vanessa, put down the donut and answer if you could, please. Spending time with my friend.

Okay. This is what she said. This is a very old person answer. It's surprisingly simple. Iced tea, right? Because sweet tea. Yeah, tea. Tea.

Hot tea. Hot tea. Aha! Sweet. What? So, the woman tried to steal her old... She's kind of leading the witness there. Yeah, she said sweet...

You like tea, don't you? I like sweet tea. Yeah, tea. Tea. Hot tea. Hot tea. Hot tea and sweet tea. Okay.

Green tea. They can't even agree on their line. They're all caught up. Hot tea, sweet tea, and green tea. We told the news we ought to tell them something. Hot tea and sweet tea. Okay. Green tea.

I love them all. I love what? All the teas? She loves them all. Is she driving now? They immediately drove off. Oh, no. They got the secret.

They just drove off. What the hell? It's the first car. Put her in the garage with the door closed. And then immediately she leaves that old person to go to another old person. About 50 miles away in Folkston, Georgia, another remarkable woman is celebrating a milestone of her own. Now, I don't know why they chose the death music for the second woman. I know, it really does seem like she's dead.

The second woman they really play. Sally Chapman just turned. Wow, Shab. Oh. Now, this is the other one. Oh, great voice. I love her. She's, this is great.

She's like a ghost. Like a drunk ghost. And she still lives at home with her daughter. Of course. That doesn't feel to be 107. Good. And very good. Very good.

Yeah, those drugs are very good. So anyway, she's 107. If I'm doing something, I look around, she's gone. That's why we had to put these bells on her walker. So they kept losing her. So they put bells. They put bells on the walker. She was roaming the halls.

They're not paying attention Jake So the bells are on her walker So they know where she is If I'm doing something I look around She's gone That's why we had to put these bells on her walker So anyway that's like old people How they're keeping tabs on her

It's like something you do to a cat I think I do that with my dog To keep up with her Known affectionately around town as Mother Sally treasures visits from her friends I got a friend that come to feed me. You guys got that? I got a friend.

They call her something. I think her friend has to feed her, she said, or something. They come to feed me. They come to feed me. Oh, her friend's come to feed her. Maybe she's a cat situation. I think she's in a petting zoo. Oh.

That made me happy. Her secret to longevity? All right. Guys, what's your secret? She's got bells on her walker. She's got a friend that comes and feeds her. Because she's too fast. They can't keep up with her.

I find that hard to believe, by the way. There's no way they can. They're in terrible shape if they can't keep up with her. I mean, she's living at home. God, I think she is going to say, you know what? I bet there's like a TV show that she watches every day. So she's going to say every day it's like a soap opera or something. That's her little show.

General Hospital. Yeah. My life is watching and going to the General Hospital. Omar, you got a guess? Yeah, I think she's going to say, take it easy, live in the moment, something like that. All right, you got a guess there, Jake the Nerd. Haunting the Attic. Haunting in the Attic is a good guess.

Sounds like she's ready to, Vanessa? This one's for sure going to say A Little Whiskey. A Little Whiskey. All right, here we go, let's find out. Her secret to longevity, what do you always say? Live. There you go. What is that?

You guys got it. Once again, if you want to live forever, remember this. Sweet divots. Is that the new sweet divots? Did she say sweet divots? I think we're getting another sweet divots. This may be the first repeat old people's secret ever with a second sweet divots, guys. Sweet divots.

No alcohol. Oh, lame-o. But her daughter says there's more to it than just that. We live on a busy street, so she watches the traffic going by. She has never eaten chicken and eggs, turkey. There's a bunch of things she never eats, so she watches traffic. She has never eaten chicken and eggs, turkey. Nothing with feathers is what she says.

Interesting. Love that story. All right. Well, there you have it. Old people's secrets. I couldn't wait to wrap that up. Nothing with doubles? I don't know what that is.

Nothing with doubles. No chicken, turkey, or eggs? She may be a fan of that mustard sandwich. Yeah, wow. Or a turkey. Got to take a break. More Sweet Divots on the flip side of this. We've got, believe it or not, more show after this.

It's K-Rock. We're Klein Alley Show. I think I've made a pretty impactful decision that I think will probably change my life forever. And I'm wondering if you've made a similar decision and how you look back on it and go, was that the right call or did I make the wrong call? Is this about your workout routine and your protein kick? No, nothing to do with that at all. I played around with a leaf blower

over the weekend I used it to blow things around is this a euphemism or are you actually just playing with a leaf blower I thought you switched it on reverse or put your peepee in it I didn't know you could do that even more of a reason

why I think I want to get one but I've decided that I'm going to buy a leaf blower you're not a leaf blower guy oh dude wrong you should have seen the way I handled this thing At first, it took me a little while to get used to, and then I got good at it, and now... Wait, how did you practice if you don't have one?

I borrowed a leaf blower. For no reason, or you had to do something with it? I decided to blow some stuff around. And you said you had a neighbor and just said, hey, can I borrow that? The neighbors, I have used the neighbor's leaf blower before. That one's not great. And then there was a gardener that was out doing his, not my gardener, another person's gardener, and I said, hey, any chance I could borrow that leaf blower?

Oh, a gas one? That one was gas. That one was cool. Oh, those gas ones are powerful. But man, I was getting dizzy. I was getting high from that. But it was awesome. But I've also used a less powerful electric, you know, California-friendly leaf blower.

Yeah, I have a leaf blower that I never use because it's... You have one? You own a leaf blower? Yeah. We used it like twice. I'll buy it off you right now. Is it a good one or is it crap? I won't tell you how much you gave me for it.

Forget it. I don't want it. I already know you bought a crappy one. I'm getting it. It's one of those ones that you have to basically plug in because if it's not plugged in, it's so weak. I'm going to use it all sorts of places. I know you're thinking you just use it to blow leaves around.

That's like so short thinking. You can just do that. I'm going to use it inside the house for things. But you're going to get one of those women. You're not going to get a manly leaf blower. You're going to get one of those womanly ones, right? You're wrong, dude. A real man one.

One of the womanly ones, like dust buster size? Those are the ones, the little blackened decker. They cost like 60 bucks. No, I'm kidding. They look like a magic wand, actually. They're so thin. I did see ones on Amazon as low as 60 bucks. In my head, if someone said how much a leaf blower, I said a good leaf blower is probably

500 bucks. Yeah, I thought they were expensive. Yeah, they're around $3.50. Remember that chainsaw I was going to buy to carve the turkey? Remember the turkey chainsaw? Oh, yeah. All right, this is like, I'm not going to go ahead and... This is dumber.

No, not dumber. This one, I'm really, I've committed to it. I'm getting it. Today's the day. Wow. This is big news. I'm glad we're talking about it. Allie, I'm going to bring it into the studio and clean up that area over there.

I don't want you to bring it in here. I'm going to bring it everywhere I go. No, you're just going to bring... My allergies are going to go crazy. It's just going to be dust everywhere. No, that's what you think. You just got to figure out... You blow it up into the sky, then you do another move with it.

This is like where you get good at it, and then you can actually take all the stuff you've created. So you're blowing it in the sky in a certain direction? Yeah, and then you blow it out. He's an artist. Are you going to open the door and blow it into Vanessa's office? Yep, yep, right there. And move the paper bag around like American Beauty. And if Vanessa goes to try to take a third donut, guess what?

I'll blow it right out of her hands with that thing. I think this thing is so useful for so many reasons. I know people, I know in general the sounds of leaf blowers, which, you know, if you live in Southern California, you hear them a lot. It's annoying. We don't mind it. hear them early in the morning you hear them you know before the late at night there's certain times to use them that i think are acceptable and i know some people really hate the smell of the gas ones but the electric ones i think that there's so much you could do with it and

i've been watching what else can you do with it there's what are the what are the plans you have anytime you have to move piles of stuff like what other than leaves clothing laundry you're gonna just blow clothes around your your house you have socks at the gas leaf blower i'm not gonna get a gas one i'm gonna get i'm not i'm gonna get an electric one for inside the house use but i'm gonna like when there's this is gonna be a replacement for the vacuum yeah i forgot that thing no there's not anymore it's just so much coordination you have to do with the pile it's so fun it's like you think your wife would let you blow dry your hair with it cool that's cool i mean it's got to cut the time and or dry her off after a shower probably instant probably

instant she walks out naked i just blast her with it totally i will do it i'm gonna not only that I'm going to offer to leaf blow people's places for free. You can put her spray tan stuff in there, too, and give her a spray tan. Oh, my goodness. Just stand by this bucket of paint. Just get it done and done. Yeah, but I'm very shocked that you walked up to somebody else gardening another person's house and had the audacity to ask them for their leaf blower for a while.

I said, when are you going to be done with that? Well, as you know, I'm a big, I offer drinks to it. They have things to do. I know, but let me put it on. And that thing was cool because that one had like a... Is that the one where you put it on like a little backpack? Backpack, yeah. Cool.

I was with the Rocketeer. Oh, rad. Well, and they do, like, amazing work with how they coordinate. When I've ever used a leaf blower, there's just leaves blowing all over the place. I don't know what the hell's going on. They do this little move where they, like, kind of do this little circle thing. It's the best. I don't know what they do.

It's, like, always a controlled pile. I'm amazed. That's the part I'm learning, Omar, and that's the part I'm going to get good at because that part is what blows my mind. And I'm going to tell you right now, I don't have a thing in my life. I'm not into meditation. Yeah, you need a hobby, man. No, this, when I did...

Go back to gambling. No, I can't. I've lost all the money gambling, but I got leaf blower money because we're only $60. Are you going to start doing blow-and-goes? I'll happily do that. I've been watching for years. Everywhere I've lived, I've watched some people come and blow piles over the neighbors. Another guy comes the next day, blows it right back.

I've seen this. I've got to get involved in this game. I've got to get in the action. They're just blowing them back and forth. I'm going to get involved, and I have certain parts of my, like the cobwebs. There's gross areas, dusty areas in the garage. Allie, it's so fun. I'm so excited about it.

I mean, I guess I've underestimated what I can do with my leaf blower at home. You guys are trying to yuck my yum, and I don't like it because I'm going to blow it. I'm all bored, man. Well, no, I don't like that. How many miles per hour is this thing? I was going to ask you almost since you're a real man. One of them says it's got 500 AXXs or something. That sounds dope.

AXQs. Mine's a 120 miles per hour leaf blower Whoa, that seems high It'll blow a leaf 120 miles an hour Yep, top speed Okay, leaf race Scott actually got it for me years ago

What if you guys in a row all had one leaf And a leaf blower, whoever got to the end Yeah, duel I mean, I gotta get I don't know what this thing 500 had said I don't know if it was miles per hour I think it was the sound it makes Some of them, like, now they measure by something called CFM.

I don't know what CFM stands for there. I think they just make all this up. Yeah. To impress men like you. Whoa, CFM's 500? Got it. This is 500 CFM. Do you know what that means?

Nope. Every day. Bloop, bloop, bloop. I walk into my house. There's a pile of socks somewhere. There's dog toys. The dog comes in, takes all his toys out, scatters them around the house. I'm bending down like an ass, moving stuff around.

That is over. Those days are done. You can take it when you're walking your dog, when your dog craps, just right into the street. A lot of times I don't have a bag on me. I flick it with a stick. It's like a caveman. You can add it to the K-Rock ticket blowout. Oh, my God.

Are you just going to walk around with this thing on your back like a sword? Yep. I'm going to bring it with me everywhere, including here. And I hope to get it today, so I'll have it tomorrow. Great. And if Allie, little things around here, there's so many uses for it around here. When Jake comes to the studio and it smells bad, blow that right out. It smells good.

You can't blow the smell away. I'll blow that BO out. You'll just make more. 120 miles an hour. Take it on. I'll blow it right into the halls. Someone else is dropping it. You got to spin the wheel.

You can just spin it with the blower. Yeah. I don't have to reach over there like an idiot with my arm. I can just blow the blower. 408 said leaf blowers are awesome. And when you think you did a good job vacuuming your car, you open up all the doors and take a leaf blower to it. So much stuff comes out of the car.

It is remarkable. That sounds cool. It's the coolest. I can't believe I've never thought of doing that in my car. That's my point. It's got a terrible name. The leaf blower is a terrible name for this thing. Dust blower.

Okay, relax. That's two donuts talking. That's two donuts. She is a little amped up on sugar right now, but that's okay. You won't get two donuts if I got this leaf blower. Trust me. I'll keep you safe from that. We can shoot a music video.

Here's some takeaways. Get the hell out of here. And then give you some Sluggo, who's got more of those tickets. Part of K-Rock's summer ticket blowout. Tomorrow, we'll be blowing those tickets right out of a leaf blower. So get ready to claim them. And you'll have tickets every hour, all day long here at KROQ. Just keep listening and keep calling the number 800-520-1067.

Tomorrow, I'm sure we have something planned, but I don't remember what it is. So just tune in and find out tomorrow as we continue to give you more tickets, more water park access, and continue to send us your pictures of terribly parked cars so that we can get you in the running for the ultimate grand prize for Park Week. Last night, I actually watched some Shark Week. Oh, nice. Is it good stuff? I was planning on watching that with my kid later. I know I've told myself it's just the same footage every year, and they try to make it sound better. This was so cool.

I was watching about bull sharks. Bull sharks are legit. Those are like the bull. We always think it's the great whites we've got to be afraid of, but the bull sharks, they get mean. This whole thing was about how they were simulating a rainstorm to see how much meaner they get, and then one of their divers got lost. How do they have the budget to do that? I don't know. It's just incredible at this point what they've come up with for Shark Week.

But Park Week is not nearly as exhilarating, but it's probably going to ruin your day more than a shark will today. So make sure to send us your pictures of terribly parked cars. Tag us at Klein Alley Show so we can get you involved using the hashtag ParkWeek. All right. Takeaways. What do we got? All right. 6-2-6.

My takeaway is watch out. Southern California Klein's going to blow everything everywhere. Oh, I am. 2-1-3. Coyotes and WeHo are just as noisy as gay clubs in WeHo. 6-5-0. Willie Mae Jackson broke the color barrier. Big honor.

2-1-3. Sugar Ray is everywhere. Everywhere. Good luck avoiding Sugar Ray. 310, cheese and mustard don't go together. 818, Klein's neck isn't getting enough sleep. And 909, my takeaway is Johnny is triggered by the sound of jingling keys. That's a good point.

We learned a lot about today's show. If you missed it, check out the podcast to find out who on the show is the most whipped and which one of us cannot drive on the 5 freeway because their significant other finds it yucky. That's all available in the podcast or you can watch the show on YouTube. and thank you, Ginger Justin, for keeping us live streaming there. Johnny, you have a takeaway. That sounds like an Allie issue. It is an Allie issue.

We hear that a lot today on the show. Vanessa, takeaway? Jake has been whipped by life. That's a good takeaway. Sad but true. Jake, takeaway? Yeah, women are a mailbox's worst enemy. Yeah, that's right.

Watch out, mailboxes. We learned that today during the show as well. If you don't know what we're talking about, listen to more of the show. It'll all make sense eventually. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is people who create spreadsheets are either bored or desperate. And finally, DJ Omar Khan. The five is yucky.

The five is yucky. And remember that and everything else we told you on today's show. We'll do it again tomorrow. If you need us in the meantime, you can use the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. And we're going to go ahead and watch Vanessa have her sugar come down, which will be exciting. Sugar crash. She's going to tantrum out and then take a nap. I'll be back tomorrow to do it again.

All right, bye. It's just okay It's just okay Just okay Thank you ladies and gentlemen