Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Old People's Secrets, Klein's Spill and MORE

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world-famous K-Rock.

But if you do call to win, right now we have for you your tickets to Ocean Way, the inaugural festival happening this year with the Killers, Jack White, Sublime & More, The Beach, Santa Monica, September 26th. And we're looking for you right now, caller 20 at 800-520-1067. Later this hour, another chance to win your way into the endless summer schedule with Austin's Slightly Stupid. And that will be, you'll be forced to answer some questions about things that have happened this morning on the show. Also, there's a goat line for you if you don't want to call live. You just want to leave messages afterwards.

You don't want to be all shady like that. You can use that goat line 24-7-365. That number is 844-956-GOAT. I want to start off by saying that Allie, Vanessa, you guys did a good job on Friday. You don't really need twang. And Klein, now that you're back, I kind of realized how peaceful it is when you're not there, you know? I like it, you're funny, but I feel like you're the agitator of the group. So anytime you're there, you just try to get everyone mad, which I get, you know, but still peaceful.

I really enjoyed it, you not being there. Thank you, sir. So that's why I got this jingle for Ally and Vanessa. Here we go. Ally and Vanessa, it's better without Klein. Do-do-do, only on Fridays. That's a great jingle right there. Add it to the system.

You know, it's funny that you say it's calm because me. Omar's the agitator, and Omar wasn't here on Friday either. There were two agitators that were not present. Omar agitates more because he will play the clips to make us look bad and then hold stuff against us. Yeah, without him there for the weekend song, we did live versions of every drop. Oh, really? Yeah, which was actually a great, glorious train wreck. And people were asking for us to do it again.

Oh, great. That was the highlight for me because it was so funny. It was the end of the show. But please don't do it again because Vanessa has a panic attack almost every single time. She had smelling oils to try and keep her from having a complete breakdown during the show. Guys, I'm thinking of Betta Blockers. But Vanessa, you have your own jingle. Allie and Vanessa, it's better without clients.

That's a catchy ass song. Well, the next Friday I'm not here, which is not until... This Friday. This Friday. Not until the end of October. I will be doing the show. I'm just going to have to be in a studio in New York, which sucks. But I will be doing it so you guys don't have another panic attack.

And I don't want to. Trust me. If I had my way, I'd move into this building and never leave. Well, I mean, a lot of people just go, this isn't the same. Of course it's not the same. It's never the same. Better. You hear the jingle?

Better. Believe me, there were plenty of text messages that said quite the opposite. Hey, Amaya? Yes, sir? From Pasadena. Is this you? Yes, yeah, that's me. Hi, my name is Clymer's Alley over there.

You are the 20th caller, so good luck, good news. Thank you so much. You just made my day. You're going to go to Ocean Way, see some killers and some sublime and many others. Jack White will be there. It's going to be a great time. Santa Monica, first time they've ever done it. You will be in the first official crowd at that festival, so hang tight, all right?

Okay, thank you so much. Thank you. Clymer, aren't you going to agitate her? This bitch. Oh, okay, both of you. That wasn't me. Sorry, I don't feel that way about you, Amaya. I'm sorry that Vanessa said that.

Not me. No, that didn't happen. Do I still have to say it? She was happy up until that last possible second, and then it all changed. I'm glad we're all back. All right, we give you the gift of living forever. Eternal Life will be yours if you just listen for another three minutes because we have a brand new old people secret,

and it will help keep you alive, at least for today. Dave, we'll do it next. K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. Let's get into an old people's secret so that you can live at least through the day. But perhaps, I don't know, you're one of these people like 125 years old, and you're going, what's your secret? And you go, well, I listened to the stupid radio show, and they told me to do the following things. I did those things, and now I'm here still living. I feel like when you get past 80, you're like, all right, I got long enough.

Yeah, 80 seems to be the new. If I die at 80, like at least I made it to 80. It's weird because Dolly was 80, and then what's-his-face was 82, right? The next guy that won, Tim Curry, was 80. They both went 80, 80, like that. And I think that the expectancy, life expectancy, has been going down a little bit. And it was always high 70s. I think it's 75 for men and 77 for women.

Is that right? I thought women were getting up to 79. But then, you know, you do meet enough people that seem like they're together and they have it. And you've got to assume that all of the other things that happen in life, car accidents, unexpected stuff, that brings down the average life expectancy. If you're just talking about regular living, no crazy stuff happens, you don't fall into an elevator shaft. I would think our bodies at least should be able to make us last till around 100. Well, didn't they say there are some, you know, the people who are born now, technically their bodies can, nothing goes wrong. We have enough juice in us to get us to 150 if we don't screw it up.

The U.S. life expectancy is 81.4 for females and 76.5 for males. Whoa, it's 81 for women? Women are getting that much more. They're still lying about their age, too, so you don't even know. We're all killing our husbands. That's probably what it is. It's time for a brand-new Old People's Secret so you can live forever. Listen closely.

From chicken brain to drinking rain, not getting laid, they call me the barmaid. They call me the barmaid. That's right. Let's live forever with sweet dibbits. Oh, sweet dibbits. It's time for some old people secrets. Not every day we get a man. In this particular case, we got ourselves a man,

a 106-year-old man, by the way, who's going to give you a secret. Listen closely. On July 4th, 1922. I think he's, I don't know if you can tell what he's saying right now. I don't know why it sounds so bad, but I think he's whistling through his remaining teeth.

But I think he talks about his birthday was July 4th of 1622 or something. listen July 4th 1922 1922 okay so he's made it through the 4th of July that was the first one this is uh Francis Scott Key here he's 104 so this guy celebrated 104th birthday on the 4th of July so of course the news has to immediately trample down the store and ask they celebrated by giving him a microphone from that year this is the first microphone Hammond says he has more life to live continuing the legacy which has lasted over a century i'm going to celebrate two more years because i've always said i'm going to shoot for 106 but that's what he's

going to tap out but what yeah uh that's it that's all we got i'm blowing myself up on my birthday yeah he's gonna he wants to be uh like a firework 106 is his goal and he's 104 now so he's two years away from his goal. And I don't know when he made that goal, but I guess you just got to keep on, keep adding numbers, right? Because if you hit 106, then you're like, I guess I have no reason left to live. So you just got to say to yourself, you just got to make it through this. He's tapping

out at 106. I've always said that I'm going to shoot for 106. But so far, I think I'm going to make it. There's a real clicking noise going on over there. I'm going to take the under on that. Because he says... I feel like

a lot of the old people just say, I'm just grateful to live this long right if you have like a goal or you say a certain number i feel like you're setting yourself up for failure or perhaps that may be one of those secrets where he doesn't realize that's the secret but you gotta always you know you have to always have that thing to look forward to we've talked about this in life there's gonna be a purpose things are like sound bad now they feel bad now you just gotta like find the thing that you're excited about or plan something that's like six months down the road just gotta make it to bingo on thursday just something else i'm excited about that that's the thing i want to be excited about and then you like

have that kind of guiding light to get you there. Hammond was in Germany until the war ended, but did not make it home right away. We don't know what side he was on. They didn't tell us, so... It's not important anymore. It's in the past. There's that to think about, but he didn't make it home. Fourth of July in Germany?

That's so irrelevant. I know. There's hundreds of thousands of soldiers scattered through Germany and France. Not enough boats to bring us home. So, he had to spend some time there, and now we're about to find out why he believes he is alive at the age of 104.

If you ask Edwin Hammond's daughters, they'll say the key to a long life is having a purpose to get up every day. But if you ask Hammond... Why would we ask the daughters? Who cares? They're in their 70s? 80s, I think.

But regardless, it doesn't matter. What's his secret? That's the question. He's going to give it to us in a moment. He's 104. A shotgun and a smile. A shotgun and a smile, Ali says. Omar Khan, what's this man's secret?

He's going to say you need goals. You've got to have goals in life. You've got to have goals. Get them goals. Jake the Nerd. Hot dog and hamburgers. Hot dogs and hamburgers. Fourth of July foods.

That's whatever you can see. Giving us the old usual suspects trick right there. He's just looking around saying stuff. Kai for protein. Shoe dog. Grants. Lamb. Mustard.

All right. That's a good guess. Vanessa, what's your name? What is his secret? Spending time with family. Family. You said that one a lot. Let's you go.

I feel like every other guess is that one for Vanessa. Is it? Yeah. Remember my which one? I'm going to ask Omar. You're getting senile, my friend. I'm going to ask Omar to answer for you. Vanessa, Omar, what is Vanessa's guess for his secret for a long life?

Wishy potions. Cooking some wishy potions That's a good guess right there Let's find out if she's right What if he says wishy potions I will die Happily Stop smoking

Keep those exercises good for you Sometimes those fireballs don't hurt Fireball? Fireball? What? That's a fireball Is he talking about actual fireballs Or is he talking about the wishy potions

Yeah he was in the war I think he's talking about actual napalm fireball no I think he's talking about actual shots of fireball that guy is cool man I feel like everyone had a fireball phase I don't feel like that's a consistent drink looks like a freshman year of college

phase yeah that's not like hey I'm 104 let's enjoy some fireball in and out of it quickly but that guy's still in it so there you have it old people's secrets live forever quick break come back in a moment a little more show to get into and then if you've been paying attention today and hopefully you have some notes we will get you into the endless summer kegger one final time today and then we're getting closer and

closer to the actual clam slam on the beach so be ready to win your way in after this you know when they say you're addicted to something officially when it interferes with your life and even though you know it's going to have a negative consequence on your life you don't stop doing it even if you know going into it this is going to impact me badly it's going to affect my relationships It's going to affect relationships. It's going to make it so I can't be at a place I need to be at on time, but I'm going to do it anyway. You're making sacrifices. I believe that I have now officially entered that status of my relationship with In-N-Out.

Oh, sex. Oh. No, but primarily the one at LAX where you get to watch the planes land and take off. Such a specific addiction. Well, the problem is that yesterday after the show, my dad was in town, and I decided to take him to the airport. And he did not have a lot of time. He came, watched the last hour of the show. We got to meet Roger again. Right.

Last time I saw him was in Vegas. Ricky in the building went up to him and said, hey, where's your Nirvana shirt? And my dad was very embarrassed. Confused and embarrassed by the whole thing. But props to your dad for showing up and staying in L.A. for, what was it, three or four days, and all he brought with him to pack was a suitcase. A briefcase. A briefcase.

He carries a briefcase like he's a traveling salesman. I don't know how he fit three or four days' worth of stuff into a small briefcase. It's incredible. It's wild that he's still rocking the briefcase. I feel like that is a dated, dated, dated piece of whatever. I mean, I remember growing up, he'd put a briefcase. What a stupid thing. Old man briefcases, though.

They belong together. And I feel like hipsters are trying to bring them back. I feel like you probably see them in Silver Lake or something. But for the most part, yeah, the guy came out here, no luggage, just a briefcase. And then he showed up at the studio with a collared shirt on and a briefcase. But for sure, everyone in the building thought he was here to do our taxes. That's what I thought. I was like, ah, this guy.

Oh, it's my dad. Okay. So afterwards, we only have an hour to get from the station to he's got a flight to catch just after noon at LAX. And I decide, because by the time we got down closer to LAX, it was 1140. And I said, you know what? I think we have enough time to do In-N-Out by the airport. And his flight was just after noon? And you got there at 1140?

Boarding at noon, I think leaving at 1230. But they closed the, you know, the way, you can't even tell anymore because they closed the doors 15 minutes early. And you thought that there was time for In-N-Out? Well, the line for the drive-thru was long, like it always is, but I said, don't worry, I have a plan, and the plan was parking and going in. Nope. And I think I've realized now, no matter which In-N-Out.

It's the same amount of time. I think it's quicker at the drive-thru. I think they have more people dedicated to the drive-thru, and I think that the drive-thru, and I know there's people that have tried to test this theory, but I do feel like the drive-thru seems like it moves faster. Oh, I think they're the same. I think the time moves more. You think they're the same?

I think they're the same, but I think the time moves differently when you're sitting in your car versus sitting on that little bench. But let me ask you a question. If the time moves the same. I got in yesterday, and they said to me, my number was 98, or 96, 96. My number was 96. They called out, so they give me my order. They go, you're number 96.

I go, cool. And then they go, and I didn't know where they were, so I'm waiting for the next call. They go, all right, number seven. Oh, no. So then I started realizing I do math. Sometimes they skip ahead, though. Yeah, sometimes they're like, one register is on this number, and the other register is way ahead. Right.

This was not the case because I was hearing them go 7, then they go 8, occasionally they jumped to 10, then back to 9, whatever. But I was looking at it going, there's no way there'd be 90 or 80 people in front of me at the drive-thru right now. The drive-thru was busy, but it was maybe 20 cars, 25 cars. I just think it's so risky to think you have time for that when it's so unpredictable. It could be 10 minutes, you could be there 30 minutes. So I said to him, don't worry.

Don't worry? He goes, I think I'm not going to make the flight. And I said, you'll be fine. Is this one of the- Cold cheese? Yeah, I did do my order. Oh, my God. You did all your customizations?

Dude, that's what takes forever. Cold cheese takes less time. It's cold. Yeah, but they have to toast the bun extra and all your other weird things. The well-done fries is what kind of screwed me, I think. So 10 minutes were waiting. Did you? And this was his first time, right?

First time. And he was pretty excited about the whole In-N-Out thing. Did you tell him to do the same thing you're doing? Yeah, I said to him, I said, I'm going to order for you. Oh, big mistake, dude. You got to just let him enjoy the OG way. Well, that's what he was going to do, and I talked him out of it. No, no, no, this will take longer

We'll have him do two I said, don't worry, I got it I got him an order for you And I ordered him, I got him a milkshake Got him the, we'll do fries, well done Cheese fries, the pickles Grilled onions, whole, the whole thing Cold cheese, he goes, cold cheese, not in my house

He called me the F word You know, you're a little gay kid I go, no, no, it's cold cheese And ten minutes turns into twenty minutes And then he says to me We need to leave now Yeah, because people get nervous. And he's not a fast walker.

Not a fast walker. That parking lot is a bunch to maneuver. He didn't even have, and this is the sad part about having older parents, he didn't even have his ticket on his phone. My mom took a picture of his ticket from her computer screen at home and then texted him the picture of his ticket on the computer screen to his phone, which all you saw was the glare of the computer and my mom's face trying to do it.

You can hardly see the bar. I said, there's no way this ticket is a scannable ticket. The boomers don't know what to do in a paperless world. They're calling out number 84. And he's like, we got to go. I'm like, Dad, 84, we're 96. It's any moment now. He goes, it's 1155.

I want to be there. I got to go through security, the whole thing. And is this a situation where the next flight is not for many hours? Next flight's not even an option. He doesn't want to be next flight. This is flight. He's going to get on this flight.

So I say, all right. And I start slowly walking out. We get to the car and then I hear on the loud. And I'm so mad now. Now I'm mad because now I paid for In-N-Out. I'm excited for In-N-Out. And you're just walking away. And we're about to leave with no In-N-Out.

And my plan was drop him off at the airport and come back and grab my order. And he does too. So I was okay either way. But as we're about to get into the car, I hear them go, 96. And I'm like, I got to go get it. So I run in, got the food, brought it out to the car, and I said, let's just eat this as we drive to the next five minutes to LAX. Wow, you thought you were going to be able to sit there and eat it too?

Yeah, I had it in the red container. Your time management is something else. So he goes, maybe I'll just wrap it up and bring it on the plane. I said, no, it's not going to be as good. You got to have it fresh. So he picks it up. He takes a bite of it. and all of the juice

and cheese, even those cold cheese and some of the animal style falls into his lap, his shirt, his lap. It is a complete mess. And I go, oh man, this is... You can't eat it like that, you amateur. I go, you're

like my whole dad's animal style now. So he's like, now he's like covered in the in and out. And I go, hey, look, that's a badge honor, my friend. That lets people know you were... You're trying to convince him all this is good. Did he have some sort of, like, dad saying or something? Oh, bull feathers, something like that. Oh, that's right.

He's a bull feathers guy. Bull feathers guy. And he's like, and I said, don't worry. I said, I've got a hoodie in the back of my car. I'll give you a hoodie. I had, like, an almost acoustic Christmas hoodie in my trunk. I was like, we get there. I'll give you a hoodie.

You wear that. Instead, cover up your mess. He goes, I'm not wearing no hoodie. I'd rather it look like a slobbering mess. But he said the internet was delicious. He said it was great. Did he say it was worth it? He said it was worth it.

I saw him. He walked off. He was covered in and out, all over his lap and shirt. I took a picture of it. It's hilarious. And he was sipping his milkshake. He walked off. And he said he made it.

He couldn't take that 30SA either. He had to throw it right in the garbage. He was the last. They probably didn't make him chuck it. He was the last person to make it through before they closed the doors. Oh, my God. And he said that the person next to him commented that he smelled like In-N-Out. I was going to say that.

That smell does not go away. That's the worst part. Yeah, if that spills on you, you smell like it. Yeah, that's a great flight, but also a terrible flight. Because if you're smelling In-N-Out, it's a great smell, but also. They're going to eat it, which is terrible. So anyway, that was the first and last In-N-Out experience. We've got your tickets if you'd like to join us at the Endless Summer Kega right now

if you're able to answer some questions about today's show. And these will not be easy, so it'll prove that you've been paying attention all morning. The number to call is 800-520-1067. We'll see who's the first person that can get three in a row right next on KROQ. All right, you put in a lot of time this morning listening to the show. And yes, it was free, but was it worth it? That is the question. And it will be worth it right now if we pick you up and you're able to answer some questions right.

It's a Klein Alley Show quiz. The prize up for grabs, access to the Endless Summer Kegger. This time was slightly stupid. Last year it was an Endless Summer Barbecue we did here at K-Rock. That was with Royal Otis. So we decided let's keep the party going. Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. And the only way to get in is to win your way in.

People started to get desperate because the show's on Thursday. And we've got lots of other stuff. The band, that's enough to get you there. But then we've got all these other yard games. We have a whole meeting today after the show about it. About the cornhole, the mean cornhole. There's a lot of things happening there, including Babe the Nerd, where you have a chance to try to dunk Jake into a soapy bath.

I don't want a bath. It's going to be great for everyone. Yeah, and we've got the blackjack tables. Jake doesn't like swimming because it's for kids, but he's going to be forced to do it as he hops in. Jake, you're going to do the dunk tank, though, right? I thought that's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, it is, but you're not refusing it.

I didn't know I had a choice. I can't refuse it. Yeah, we didn't ask him. No, okay, good. Just making sure. All right, that was your choice, and now it's over. It's time now for the Klein Alley Show Quiz.

Here we go. The Klein Alley Show Quiz. That's funny. Tee-tee, caca. I don't have fleas. I have ants. This cracker likes Walmart. You never call.

Ozzy! I'm with you, Hitler. Bitch, I call. Voila! All right, full phones. All people that claim they've been listening all morning. Some taking notes.

Others just gonna try to wing it. We'll start with Kyle, and if Kyle's not successful in going three in a row, we will make our way up and down these phones until Chris, Camilla, Jill, Stephanie, Mike, Roman, everyone gets shot to win their way in. So it could go three, four people deep. We start with you, Kyle, though, so you control your own destiny at this point. Good morning. Good morning, 3Divots.

How long have you been listening today? Since about 6.30, 7 this morning. Did you take any notes, or are you just going to try to trust your memory on this? I'm just going to express my memory. I had Odyssey 1 for a little bit, but then I switched over to the tablet to YouTube Live. Ah, okay, so you were listening and watching. What a journey.

All right, question number one. There was a threesome that took place on the airwaves of K-Rock today. Who was involved in the threesome that took place over the airwaves of K-Rock and on YouTube? What was it? Allie and her sister. What? Oh, man. I'm so sorry.

That is incorrect, Kyle. I wish. I can't get my sister. Allie and her sister, Allie Wishes. That is an incorrect answer. We pick up with that question as we make our way to Chris right now. And then we'll make our way to Stephanie next and Jill and everyone will have a chance. But just to show you, don't hang up because people sometimes have a hard time.

Chris, we start with you. There was a threesome that took place on the show today. Who was involved in the threesome? It was the doll with the Klein and Allie doll, Eiffel Towering, Vanessa's chicken doll. That is a correct answer. Thank you for that graphic description. Alfie Tower. That's right.

She got the Alfie Tower, and Allie's re-demonstrating now. Vanessa loves it. Vanessa wants us to do more of that. So, very excited about these new plushies. If you haven't seen them yet, go to our Instagram, KleinAllieShow. Sums it up right there. That's Vanessa afterwards. So it's Vanessa and Klein and Allie.

And you are off to a great start. You got your first one right. Congratulations. Two more in a row, and you're going to the show. You ready? I hope they don't make a Jake one. No, I don't know. It could be next.

It's going to get added to the mix. Chris, question number two. We made a decision on the air today of who is going to introduce Slightly Stupid at the Endless Summer Kegger. Who is going to do that introduction? I don't know her name, but it was the stutterer lady. She was the stuttering on the call. I don't know her name, though.

The stuttering lady will be an acceptable answer if that's right. Let's find out if that's right. Slightly stupid. That is a correct answer. The stuttering lady, and I believe her name was... Marie. Marie. And it's

Slightly stupid No, it's Marie Your name's Marie Do you know where you are, Marie? Chris, that is correct You've gotten two in a row right now They have just started They're now moving our endless summer keg

To start at noon to make accommodations For the announcement Still ends at 8 They're stepping out The band is going to be a great intro. Start the introduction now. All right. You've gotten two right, Chris.

Do you know what this means? Yep. One more. It all comes down to this. If you're wrong, we move on. So people are rooting against you. But you claim that you've been paying attention. You took notes and everything, or you're just all doing this on memory?

No, just memory. Wow. Question number three. And if... Question three. Here we go. Allie crapped her pants on today's show. What?

At what hour? The first hour? That didn't happen. That's a trick question. I was like, is this my mommy brain? Did this happen? The fact that you couldn't deny that quickly is a real problem. I'm like, all right.

I don't know what's coming out of where. Allie just looked. Allie just looked. Allie just checked herself to know that question. This is the third question. If it's right, you win. What is Jake going to bring to his date tonight? Well, he said flowers maybe, but I think it was just beer, a chest of beer.

Well, that's interesting. You've given us two answers. A chest of beer. What a beautiful way to describe it. We all accused Jake of probably showing up with his own chest of beer, but he did claim that he is going to, per the advice of Vanessa, bring flowers. And that is a correct answer, which means, Chris, you've been listening to the entire show today, or at least the parts that mattered most.

And you did it raw dog style. Nice job. We will see you on Thursday at the Endless Summer Kegger. You can bring someone, no lamos, and a pleasure to meet you. We can't wait to see you in person on Thursday, all right? Thank you. Shout out, NetBangers. All right, for everyone watching along on YouTube, shout out.

And I had this song queued up in case you lost. It's called Loser from Tame Impala. But you won, so we're going to play it anyway, and then we'll come back and do takeaways from today's show and wrap up everything else, turn it over to Sluggo next on KROQ. Thank you, Tame Impala. That's called Loser. It's KROQ.

We're Klein Alley Show. We're going to get the hell out of here. Sluggo's in in a moment. Got more of those tickets for you. Every hour, cool you off by sending you to the best festivals happening on the beach here in Southern California. So all day, you'll win your way into Ohana Fest and Ocean Way. Be ready for that.

Tomorrow, we're back with more stuff to give you, I'm sure. We still have more access to the Endless Summer Kegger. We held on to a grip of tickets until the last possible moment. So we're here, but don't feel bummed out just yet. I know there's a lot of desperation calls on the GOAT line. We're going to get as many of you in as possible so we can all hang out together. And that'll be on Thursday this week. All right.

I'll be up Thursday. Are we going to have breakfast together for dinner? By breakfast, you mean Wahoo's Tacos. That's right. That's well planned on our part Let's do some takeaways from today's show And then we'll get out of here What do we got?

Alright, 424, my takeaway is No means gnocchi Man, I stuttered there 818, never interrupt the noodling Let's see, 213, my takeaway is Slightly stupid's intro may be longer than their set 909, you can always get free parking If you park far enough

626, Jake is corking it 925, this chair all night long. All night. And 661, my takeaway is, damn, Vanessa, you nasty girl. That was wild. That was wild.

She does crazy things. Crazy stuff. You still listening, Mom? I know real Vanessa is like a place by the rules, but doll Vanessa? That's all the things real Vanessa wins. Fire state. Takeaways from today's show.

We go over to... Oh, no, her ass is out. Oh, boy. Oh, no. Postmaster Johnny. Oh, my God. Hey, nice ass. Postmaster Johnny, you have a takeaway from today's show?

Nice ass. I always go back to ass. How is it always about ass? That's right. You said it, Johnny. There's a lot of ass going on right now. What's your takeaway, buddy? I just said it like five times.

Oh, I thought that was Homer playing a clip of you. All right, Vanessa, you have a takeaway? Yeah. Jay's getting cemetery flowers. Jay's getting cemetery flowers. She's so defeated. Jake's getting cemetery flowers. He's going to take away.

Jake, take away. Yeah. A three-case is an example of a piece of whatever. Yeah, sure is. A big piece of whatever. Allie, take away. My takeaway is if you're going to break the rules at a Best Western, do it in Whitefish, Montana. It's the best place to be banned.

We learned that during that round of human bingo. If you don't know what we're talking about, there's a complete show. You can download it wherever you get your podcasts. Please subscribe and even share it with someone so they can help us to hashtag grow the show. Omar. I'm going to get your dad to do my taxes. That's why he's here. Walk in the halls.

We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, you can use the coatline, 844-956-GOAT. Oh, my God. What is she doing now? Oh, Vanessa. That's Vanessa Doll. It's getting wild.

Take a quick break, and then we're back again tomorrow. Stick around for Slugger. All right. Goodbye. Annie and Vanessa, it's better without crying. Doo-doo-doo. Only on Friday.