Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Old People's Secrets, Prime Day Price is Right

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. this is the world famous k-rock oh yeah welcome to just after 10 o'clock about a year ago we called these things summer hours i guess they're back now funner summer is officially underway

we all have our forced fun to look forward to this summer hopefully you do the same guaranteed to make your summer a little bit more fun just by starting your days with us here on k-rock this hour amazon prime days are back so we got the prime day prices right to get into And I believe this year we're really up in the stakes because not only will you win this game, but I think you actually get to win some of the items we'll be spotlighting in the Amazon Prime Day Price is Right. Yes, and the theme this year is Funner Summer.

Since that is our mission, to give everyone a funner summer, these are some of the items that we should probably be purchasing in order to complete our Funner Summer challenges. Who knows? Could be beer funnels, perhaps just slip and slides. I don't know. Allie has broken down the list. Eggs.

Could be eggs. Great guess, Vanessa. Great guess. So we will get into that. Coming up later this hour, also a secret that will help you live forever. The return of old people's secrets. If you would like to live as long as humanly possible and then 10 years longer. We'll make that happen for you coming up later this hour as well.

Kick things off with one of the official soundtracks of summer in Southern California. This is Sublime in a little place called Ensenada that apparently has great horrors. All right, let's give you the gift of eternal life as we live forever with another old people's secret. Get to that in a moment. Here's the tease as to the person we're going to meet today. She's been married twice and is known for her sense of humor. I guess I'm not very good material for men. That's a woman who claims that she's been married twice and maybe she's just not good material for men,

but she is celebrating her 108th birthday. and you won't believe one of the things you're going to hear in this story is going to shock you and then we'll figure out what her secret is

for living this long. It's time for a brand new, never before heard old people's secret. From chicken brain to drinking rain not getting laid they call me the barmaid.

They call me the barmaid. That's right. Let's live forever with sweet dibbits. Sweet dibbits. time for some old people secrets 108 nothing to sneeze at if you sneeze you die yeah yes if you do that's game over so let's get to know this woman then we'll go ahead and place our bets this morning a delaware woman is celebrating a major milestone birthday and we mean major she is

108. Why is she telling us like we're 108? Why is she yelling at us like we're deaf and old? We get it. She's 108, but we're just regular aged. 108 years old. Now they cut over to whatever sort of

weird rave facility. She's having some sort of an old lady rave, which is crazy to see. One of those coffee raves? I gotta make a decision if I'm going to a coffee rave I was invited to this weekend. I'll make the decision for you. No.

No, yes. The answer is definitely no, but I was shocked because I thought the time was wrong, and that's the new thing now. Because it's like 11 a.m. or something, right? I think it starts even before that, actually. It starts at like 9 a.m. Ew. And there's a DJ, and it's apparently really hard to get into, and I'm like, why?

Who wants to go to that? That's the last thing I wanted, 9 in the morning, is this music. Well, and I thought that the fun of a rave is like you don't know how things are going to hit you. We all know what coffee makes us feel. Is that supposed to be like something you go to after a real rave? No, I don't think so. And I also thought, like, I was like, oh, it's coffee.

That's a good cover for drugs. And they're like, no, no, it's coffee. I'm like, what? What kind of lame rave is this? Would you make a cold brew? Yeah, I was like, are we all talking in code here? But apparently it's like, that's the thing now. Everyone likes to meet up at these coffee shops and get these really good DJs.

I heard about kid raves for little kids, like toddlers, where they have these DJs come in and do, like, kid-friendly raves. And they do, like, neon and ball throwing and all kinds of stuff. I can see why kids would like that. Same reason adults on drugs like it. Exactly. It's one and the same. This apparently is the new trend. Old person rave if you live to 108.

Give me the spotlight. Give me the spotlight. Ms. Susan Young-Brown is a celebrity in her own way. Because she's a stripper. Her name is Susan Young-Brown. One of the first members of Modern Maturity Center. She's been coming here since 1973. Bounce it out.

inside the Senior Community Center. She is like, I mean, this is like legitimate twerking. She's doing like real deal twerking at this age, at 108. Is this an old folks home, or this is like a... This is an old folks home, and then within the old folks home... There's like a dance class. I don't think it's a dance, I think this is her party, is what it is. Miss Brown is likely the most senior.

I'm over 100, 108. Yes, she's 108 years old. That's honey, that's your age. 100 age, 108, and listen to this, Alex. She still joins group workouts three times a week, and yes, she still drives. No. Oh, hold on. You think that part is bad?

Wait till you hear this part. They renewed my driver's license until 2033. What? This woman is legally allowed to drive until the year 2033. That would make her the oldest woman in the world. I think it would make the oldest driver no doubt about that. And they've already decided at this point. Don't you think at this point you kind of got to get, I don't know, every six months maybe a little do the eye test?

Yeah, just a refresher. Yeah. You don't get renewed for like seven years. That's insane. They stamped her good until 20. I mean, unless they probably realized, look, she's not going to use the last few years of this. So might as well give it to her anyway. Yeah.

2033. She says the key to a healthy life is running over little kids. Taking the souls of toddlers as I run them over. In a school zone. She's going to give us her secret in a moment. Clearly, she likes to work out. We got that part of it. She likes to drive still.

Old people are obsessed with being able to drive. I mean, I imagine it takes away a lot of your dignity when you're not allowed to drive anymore. I feel like it allows you to get drunk all day, any day now. Once you can't drive anymore, it's like, not my problem. Yeah, they're like, I want to drive myself to Bobby's for lunch. But it's kind of nice when, if you think about it, I like driving. And, of course, like everyone else, I couldn't wait to get my license. But now, if I lost it...

Yeah, but you have to wait on other people. That's what I hate about not driving. No, you don't. Waymos, Ubers. It's just whatever. You think this lady can get into a Waymo? Not her, but like... She can't even get into a car.

Right. I mean, that's the part. All right, what's your secret, guys? She's about to give it to us. What do you think it is? We learned a little bit about her. 108. Allie?

A good sense of rhythm. Good sense of rhythm. Rhythm. Omar? Yep. I'm going to say that she's going to say something like, barbecue. She likes barbecue. This lady, I'm getting a good barbecue.

Yeah, barbecue stands for her. Once again, the old people give us secrets every week. They're always different. Are they setting us up for early death by sabotaging us, or are they giving us good intel? Jake the Nerd. She's going to say staying active. Staying active. Sexually active. Vanessa?

A nice whiskey. Okay. One of those drinking old people. Let's find out. 20, 33. She says the key to a healthy life is moving. When I get up in the morning, I get down on the floor, and I have an exercise routine. I think I've been doing it for the last 20 years. She's backing that thing up.

She's twerking. She's backing that thing up. She gets on the floor. She gets up and gets down on the floor. Get down on it. Which I think is the lyric to every Nelly song ever written. 20 years when I retired, I said, well, now I walked around that classroom for 30 years, and I'm not going to sit down.

I don't know what any of that means. She's not a sitter. She said when she retired, I ain't sitting down. And so the second she gets up in the morning, she immediately gets on the floor and starts twerking. Well, I think that is helpful because then your bones don't all fuse together. Like, you ever see some old people

where it looks like their back just fused into one bone? Yeah. It's wild. Yeah, and they're, like, so leaned over that they look like they're horizontal as they walk. Yeah, it's crazy. They're constantly looking for keys, you think? Yeah, like they always drop something.

What did you drop this time? It's not. Sounds like a ghost. I didn't drop anything. This is just my new posture. All right, well, there you have it. If you want to live forever, you got to immediately get up in the morning and back that thing up. That's what you have to do.

Quick break. Back in a moment when we return, your chance to win what Allie believes to be some of the greatest items currently sitting on Amazon for Prime Day. It's happening now. People are buying a bunch of stuff they don't need but saving a ton of money in the process. El Cheapo breaks it down, and we turn it into the Prime Day Prices Right if you'd like to be in our showcase showdown. Call now, 800-520-1067. That is next.

All right, Prime Day is happening. People are saving money and wasting a lot of time buying stuff they maybe don't even want or need, but because it's deeply discounted, we just can't say no. We found out earlier this morning that Vanessa currently has 75 items in her cart. What? 75 items in her Amazon. What kind of stuff?

Do you want to share one of the items, Vanessa? Wait, hold on. I've got to open the app. That is so many items. She doesn't plan on buying any of them, I don't think. And she doesn't have Prime. Right. She's also one of the few people on the planet that does not have Prime.

What's the point? She said that when we banned her, when she, during the forced resolutions, when she was not able to use social media, the only thing she was able to do would be go to Amazon. And pretend shop. And pretend put things in her cart. Tell me if that's not a good idea. And now it's not. It's not.

It sounds like an incredible waste of time. I was dreaming with my cart. I have a bunch of sweaters, a book, shampoo, sunglasses, a bench. I know you're probably waiting for some sugar daddy to say, hey, Vanessa, I'll buy your whole cart for you. But Vanessa's too good for that, right? A sugar daddy? I don't know if I'm too good for that. 75 items.

Vanessa, if you have 75 items in your cart, what is your total at checkout right now? Well, they're not. I don't. Are they, like, saved for later? I don't have them selected because I don't want to know. Ah. Give me an example of something in there. I have a bench that holds shoes, and that's $109.

Is that one of the higher ticket items that you have in your cart? Yeah, all of my items are not expensive. I have, like, a room separator thingy. You don't even know how to fantasize right. A room separator? That's just a conventional. It's because I see things that I would want, And I was like, ooh, that's a cool separator.

I'm going to play a hypothetical shopping spree. Let me get some Tupperware in here. That's hot. Oh, I do have kitchen items. I was like, ooh, I would love this. A melon baller. If only. Live vicariously.

Please don't ruin my dreams. Okay, sorry. Hey, Vanessa, speaking of that, I don't know if you heard this message on the GOAT line, but speaking of sugar daddies, you may want to hear this. I'm kicking myself because I didn't think of this sooner. But you guys deciding to send Jake the Farfick Nugent wherever, wherever, today made me think, why are we not sending Vanessa to a World Cup match where Columbia's playing? I tried to use the robot to find something out, and best I could do is Saturday in Miami, Columbia's playing Portugal.

The best game of the season. So listen to this. This was on the go line this morning. I know that's a limited time, but what's it going to cost? What do we got to do to get her there? I think if you guys presented it as, hey, Vanessa, we need you to go as a representative of the Klein Alley Show and that you guys are footing the bill and whatnot, that she would go for it. If it was from listeners or anybody else, I'm pretty sure she'd be like, veto, veto, no, no, no, blah, blah, blah. So, with that, do what you will.

I think it's a great idea. Let me know if I can help. Peace. Sounds like what I'm hearing is Blind Charlie says that he'll fly you to this Columbia game and get you tickets on Saturday. Guys, the ticket's $4,000. It's the most expensive game. And then a ticket to Miami. Well, I just looked.

The ticket to Miami is only like $325 round trip, which is not that much to fly across the entire country. And you know people in Miami. You used to live out there. Do you know somebody you can stay with? I do have somewhere to stay. We've got to pick an airline that lets you do the unaccompanied minor. But am I getting two tickets or one ticket? The flight attendant has to bring it in.

The flight attendant's got to walk around the plane and stuff, give her the wings. I have to do that on the flight. So we'll have to do that. But I'm sure a lot of airlines will do that for you. You'll probably get to see the cockpit. That'll be cool. Hi, would you like an orange juice? Big kid.

So the flights to Miami, that seems like something we could cover. So it really comes down to the tickets to the game. Okay, let's see. Let's see. We can do this. This is the Saturday game in Miami. Yes. And Vanessa, would you be opposed to sneaking in inside of, like...

No, I'm not going to do all of that. I'm not a good... When it comes to doing bad things, I just don't. Yeah. I'm not a bad person. That's too bad. You're surrounded by so many of them. I wish you were a bad person.

So many of them. Yeah, so it looks like if you just got one ticket, it would be $3,400. She doesn't even need the whole seat, though. She only needs half a seat. Yeah, we're not doing this. Let's not pretend. All right, well, I'm just saying, he put it out there. Sometimes you've got to put it out there, Vanessa.

This is a good seat for $3,400. At the very least, Vanessa, we're going to take care of one of the items in your Amazon cart. I want the bench. It's time now for the Prime Day Prices Round. Your chance to bid on some items that Allie has found. She says we'll all contribute to you having a funner summer. and someone playing right now will actually win one of the items that we spotlight

during Prime Day Prices, right? And we say good morning to Matt from Garden Grove. Matt, come on down. You're on the Prime Day Prices, right? Good morning, Matt. Good morning. We say good morning now to Carlos in El Cerrito. Carlos, come on down.

You're on the Amazon Prime Day Prices, right? Good morning. Good morning. This is Damon in Pomona. Damon, come on down. You're on the Prime Day Price is Right. How are you? Very good.

And yourself? Doing fine. And finally, we say hello to David. David, you are on the Prime Day Price is Right. Come on down. Hands on buzzers. Allie's got the first item to tell you guys about. Remember, it's the closest without going over the actual Prime Day price.

Allie, what is it? The item that will help you have a funner summer today is your standard vacation baby oil. You may have seen Klein covered in oil yesterday. This is SPF 30 sunscreen oil plus air freshener bundle, 3.4 fluid ounces. It is hydrating, lightweight. It has body sunscreen, and it's transparent for all skin types. Okay, so it's a giant bottle of oil. A vacation baby oil, it says.

Vacation baby oil. You must have it if you want to have a funner summer. Vacation in oil. Matt, what do you believe the cost of that is before Ali tells you the Prime Day price? i'm gonna say 14 14 carlos uh i'll say 8 50 8 50 uh we said david uh david what do you believe it is i believe it's gonna be 11 50 11 50 and finally with the final bid damon pomona uh this is a A giant bottle of oil with SPF and an air freshener.

For vacations only. I'm going to say $12.50. $12.50. All right. Sort of a good chance for someone to throw out that $1. Allie, who is the closest without going over? Klein, there is somebody that has gotten the price exactly right. No way.

Yes. Oh, that's a special ding sound on the price that's right. Ding, ding, ding. I believe that means you win the item as well. You win the item. Yeah. Who is it? Who got it right?

Matt guessed $14, which is the Prime Day price today. Wow, Matt. It's 36% off. It's regularly listed as $22. On sale for $14. Exactly. Good job, Matt. Matt, you have nailed.

Not only have you just won yourself a bottle of this vacation oil, which will guarantee you a funner summer, you now get to play the very exciting pricing game. This is where Allie gives you, I think, three different items. You just have to put them in order from least expensive to most expensive for a chance to win even more good stuff here. And this is all stuff that will give you a funner summer. If you're looking to buy something on Amazon Prime but don't know what to buy, listen closely. Here we go. First, we have a 3.5 liter stainless steel deep fryer with basket for home use.

That's so cool. If you want to deep fry your summer, it comes with oil filtration, temperature control. and it automatically filters and stores oil in a sealed container. Is he able to use the oil he just won on this machine or no? Sure. Okay, cool. Easy cleanup and cost savings through reusable oil. Enjoy hassle-free deep frying with this innovative feature.

I know air fryers are where everyone's at now, but if you get something in that great bubbling deep fried oil, a little onion ring jacuzzi going on, oh, nothing like it. Onion ring jacuzzi. I love it. Item number two is an inflatable bounce house for kids three to six. This is an indoor bouncy castle with pump included. It comes with two game maps and a basketball hoop inside.

If you blow it all up, the measurements are 68 by 68 by 51, whatever that means. And it supports two to three kids between ages three and six. The max weight is 120. Oh, so an adult could get on there, but you got to be south of 120? Yes. Yikes. Item number three, if things go south after you have sex on the beach, is Plan B. Plan B one-step emergency contraceptive.

It's a one-and-a-half milligram pill. This is one tablet, and it is on sale for 6% off this Prime Day. So, can you put these items in price order? Least expensive to most expensive, Matt. You've got a bouncy house meant for children or potentially a thin, drunk adult. You've got deep fry, your very own home deep fry. All the fun you could have at a restaurant with tater tots, French fries, onion rings, tater skins. The list goes on and on.

Or, of course... Do you want to give any more examples? I could give a lot, Allie. It's my favorite category of food, the deep fried. And I will not mention hush puppies. And then there's also the plan B, morning after pill, because things got a little bit too fun the night before. Plan B. All right, put them in order.

What do you think? These are prime day prices only we're going for. Okay, from least expensive to most expensive, I think the plan B is the cheapest. Okay. I think the deep fryer would be the second cheapest, the middle. and I think that huge bounce house is going to be the most expensive. Are you thinking about onion rings or are you judging his answer? I was actually thinking about deep frying a morning after pill,

seeing what that would taste like. How delicious is that? In oil. Yeah, in oil. All right, so you're locking in on plan B being the least expensive followed by the air fryer followed by the bounce house. It's not an air fryer, though. It's a deep fryer, right?

Very different. Yeah, you're right. It's a deep fryer, not an air fryer. Very different. spoke. Okay, you're locking in as that's your answer. Yeah. I think he's wrong. I think he's wrong. I think

the deep fryer is the most expensive. I think that those little bounce houses look good, but it's all just crap, especially the kids' ones. I think that's probably the middle. Well, it's all about the size for the bounce house. Plan B, I think, is probably I do agree that's probably the cheapest, but I don't know what Plan B

costs in general. Because you should have done it and you didn't. People would pay whatever it costs. I mean, they could say a million dollars. people are paying for it, right? Right, exactly, yes. All right, well, anyway, it doesn't matter what I think. All right, he's locked in, Allie. What is the correct order?

It's Amazon Prime Day prices, right? Well, Matt, you are correct about Plan B being the cheapest on this list. It is on sale for $46, marked down from $49.99 for one pill. Jeez. But that's way cheaper. 50 bucks for peace of mind, though, is prices. It's way cheaper than a kid. Yes, exactly.

Now, the Bounce House is 29% off. It's $85. Normally, it is $120. The Deep Fryer is also 29% off. It is $99. Oh, man. Regularly, $140. I'm so sorry, Nat.

You were so close. Nat, Nat, Nat. Klein, you were right. I wish you had gone with me. Hey, don't worry. You're not leaving here empty-handed. You still get to leave here with that big bottle. We're going to go ahead and send that to you, so hang on.

You got yourself a bottle of lube or whatever that is. And oil. Vacation oil. Vacation oil. So that will guarantee you a funner summer. Hold on for that. Congratulations. Not leaving here empty-handed on K-Rock.

We have got more show and then takeaways. Thank you, Evanescence and Amy Lee. We're going to get the hell out of here, do some takeaways. Then we will get into a little bonus episode of Showvertime, Klein Alley Showvertime. It's the podcast, uncensored, unfiltered, and undressed. Oftentimes, we do that thing totally in the nude. And today's Alley's Day to wear the oil. So we'll get into that after this.

Oh, yeah. And so get ready for that show. A little extra content coming your way. For those of you that are not yet subscribed to the podcast that goes with this show, you can find us wherever you get your podcasts. And I know everyone says that. We ask you to subscribe and comment. You ignore everything I say, just like I ignore everyone who tells me to do that. But please, in this particular case, we mean it.

Help us to hashtag grow the show. Thank you in advance for that. All right, Allie, takeaways from today's show. What do we got? 818, my takeaway is all deed, all day. All deed, all day, baby. 714, Vanessa doesn't even know how to fantasize, right? No.

626, every morning you just got to back that thing up. That's how you live forever. 310, a deep fryer is also known as an onion ring jacuzzi. 562, Olivia Rodrigo is the most beautiful woman since last Tuesday. 213, Allie's game is so weak she even gets shot down by AI. And speaking of which, 909, my takeaway is Klein will be very sore tonight after his threesome. Man, I should have been more specific. And now I'm worried that she's out there working on this.

By the way, tomorrow. I'm worried Tyrone's going to be there. The more the merrier. The more the merrier. Respect your boneries. Thank you. Please do. Please, Tyrone, respect my boneries.

Tomorrow, Matt Bellamy of Muse will be in the studio and hanging out with us to talk about, I'm sure, something new that Muse has going on. I don't want to put words in his mouth, but I imagine if he's coming by, it's not just to ask what we're up to. And usually there's talk of aliens. Yeah, and he's also a huge, I know he's a big football fan. I'm sure he's all got the World Cup fever. And also, a lot of people know this, but he's a sheep farmer as well. So we'll get into all that, I'm sure, tomorrow with Matt Bellamy of Muse, who will be stopping to hang out in the K-Rock studios tomorrow. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa?

All people are constantly looking for keys. Always looking for keys, the old people. That's why they're bent over like that. Johnny, takeaway? Klein is subscribed to Poodoo P. Poodoo P, baby. I love it. It's my favorite.

It's Russian. What's your takeaway there, Jake? Portal balls wins. Portal balls always gets the victory. Yummy. Every time. Takeaway, Allie? My takeaway is don't read the room wrong with your girlfriend's aunt.

Definitely don't do that. That's the weirdest story ever. That guy scored himself a trip on that bus to go see El Royale. I think so. I mean, we didn't have time for a lot of stories, but that one was pretty great. He's got to bring his aunt, though. That's the only caveat. Omar, you have a takeaway?

Olivia Rodrigo is getting a restraining order against Penny Ho's Gregson. Oh, yeah. That'll be next. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, use that GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. All right, bye.