Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Snack Trades, The Box of Shame and MORE

Episode Date: September 4, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Hey, John, it's Friday! Hell yeah, Friday. I like that change, Omar. I like what you did there. So, K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. We have lots to get into this hour, including the Banger Bust songs you need to hear. Songs you... I'm so sneaky, dude.

As long as you need to hear, I'm K-Rock, and we will get them on the airwaves, 800-520-1067, to call, to text. It is a long weekend, and others have made it a longer weekend. Allie just hightailed it out of here because she's got a seven-and-a-half-hour drive ahead of her in the Dyke-mobile, as she calls it. Found out yesterday at the Endless Summer of Kegger that she's going to have a baby boy. So that's exactly what Gloria Steinem would have wanted, and she's very excited about that. So, you're all caught up now, and now we can get back into the banger bus. So, here we go. If you need to hear it on KROQ, 800-520-1067.

A lot of people asking for this one this morning. Yeah, so many requests. Any songs you need, you get them to us. We get them on the airwaves of KROQ. Let's go. It's cool that they made a whole song based on our Click Click Bait segment on KROQ. That's amazing. Wow, look at all them verses.

A lot of people unaware of that. That's saliva right there. As requested on the text line, it's the Banger Boss rolling you into your Labor Day to Z weekend here at KROQ. If there's songs you want to hear, you can get them to us, and we will attempt to get them on as quickly as you get them into us at 805-201067. If we don't get enough of your requests on the air, we have to start playing Jake's, and no one wants that. I got good stuff. Get us. What is the first song you want on your list, Jake, out of curiosity?

Slomosa. Or, no, Mastodon. Okay, great. So continue to get us your songs, please, please, please, so we don't need to play any of those. Or Outkast Bombs Over Baghdad. That's actually a good one. I think I do have some Outkast coming up, believe it or not, per request.

No, we've never played Bombs Over Baghdad. Per request, we have something coming up. That's Jake's favorite song to crap to because he does a lot of that, a lot of bomb dropping. That's what I say when I do it. This message on the GOAT line will make you think twice about everyone's favorite tradition of trading snacks at school lunch. Hey, you guys are talking about the kids' lunches and their treats and everything.

When I was a kid growing up, my dad worked for Wonder slash Hospice. I mean, there could not be a better job. You always think about, like, a kid's dad who you're jealous of what they do for a job. And I thought for a change, because I had this cool job working at K-Rock, that my kid would be like, oh, my dad's got the cool job. But she's in class with a guy whose dad's a magician. So already I'm not the coolest job already. No one cares about this thing.

They care about the magician dad. And this guy grew up with a dad who worked for Hostess, which has got to be, as a kid, the greatest thing ever, because he's got full access to everything. So he got free ding-dongs and cupcakes and Twinkies and all that stuff. Man. And I had that in my lunch every day. Oh, my God.

That is amazing. How fat is this guy, by the way? Oh, he's got to be. This may be that guy Rob the Blob. Yeah. I was actually sick and tired of those things because we had it in my house all the time. So I would always trade for something. And if someone had a snack pack pudding, it was straight up for that.

The best thing I ever got was a big roast beef sandwich for a Twinkie. Whoa. I mean, that's a good trade just on a, I mean, by an adult standard, that's a good trade. Yeah, not a kid trade. You made out better, but as a kid, the guy who traded off that sandwich is probably thrilled that he got rid of his sandwich for a Twinkie. But if you're eating Hostess every day, all day, you would get sick of it, you know? How many Hostess can you eat?

If you're a kid, you think you'd get sick of that? Oh, yeah, dude. Are you kidding me? I think the reason you get sick of it is not that you get it every day. It's that it's always available. It's less about having it every day. It's more about the fact that it's available. For instance, if he wasn't allowed to have it, though, and he stole it every day and ate it, he would like it.

But it's the whole idea that the dad's going, it's cool. You can have it. That's the same reason why I'm going to tell my kids, if you want to smoke or do drugs or get tattoos, have at it. Have fun. I'm not going to tell them. But also, you think he got all the reject ones, not like the Twinkies all the time? He got like a zinger. Oh, yeah.

You know, the coconut-covered ones? Yeah, the ones. Those are fancy. No, those are the ones that don't sell. No, those suck, man. Those ones do sell. Really? No, they don't sell.

They try to confuse you with the packaging, and then you get it. You're like, this is not a standard Twinkie. So, yeah, trading was cool back then, and like I said, I got all that stuff for free, and I would just trade it, and my friends would come to my house and raid the pantry and get all their Twinkies and cupcakes and stuff. I'd love to be that guy's friend. I don't know if your dad still has that job, but, man, that would have been a great thing to have. I know there's some guy that listens to the show that says he delivers Doritos and Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

I'm glad he listens to our show because that's a good guy to have in our corner. But as a kid, man, that's a good – what was the best – do you think the best snack growing up, Jake, for you? You used to be fat. Oh, man. God, not as a kid. Oh. What the hell, man? What was your go-to, though?

For a snack? When I was a kid, I liked all the fruit candy, like Skittles, Starbursts, all that stuff, sweet tarts. Vanessa, let's pretend we're talking about the past tense even though we're talking about the present time. believe it or whoa something's happening back here my mic doesn't work what's going on over there do you hear it oh yeah we hear it sounds terrible we hit the banger bus a little too hard the banger bus broke you shorted out your mic oh man banging too much here the music the music pause all right um actually believe it or not my mom was like your mom so it was like healthy snacks so that's why i have an issue now i'm over here with the m&ms yeah but my mom tried but she

failed because i just found friends that had the good stuff so that's how i picked my friend group it was whoever had the good stuff and to me there was like nothing double stuffed oreo nothing better oh nothing better and you could take you could actually put two of those together make a quad stuffed oreo and just eliminate the cookies in the middle it was that was the move but omar what was yours yeah so we grew up pretty poor uh from time to time uh they would treat us to a Snickers bar here and there but my mom was a huge fan of the Almond Roca

so she would buy like buckets of that stuff so we've had Almond Roca candies everywhere in the household but she wouldn't buy anything for her children and sadly that's got no value in the trade market because no other kid Almond Roca? What is that? It's like wrapped in that kind of like

wannabe gold wrapper you know no kids trading up for Almond Roca that's a terrible trade I think at one point I remember I traded away my actual backpack for, I think it was at the time, I want to say Susie Cakes, something from Susie Cakes. Oh, wow. And I didn't have anything good to trade in the snack world, so I had to give the guy

my backpack. So the guy left there with a Jansport, and I thought I got a great deal. For sure. I went home holding my stuff with no bag. And my parents said, what happened? How angry did your parents get for you? They were so mad, dude. I think I carried a shopping bag for the rest of the year.

Oh, that's funny. I carried my stuff in a grocery bag for the rest of the entire year, because they said, that's it. You blew it. Bro, I did that too, man. And I traded a Kudos bar for a Game Boy in the third grade. You gave up the Game Boy for the Kudos? No, I had a Kudos bar, and the homie Matthew Blanco traded me for his Game Boy Advance.

What? The greatest trade ever. That may go down in history as one of the greatest. Oh, thank you, trade. Since Luca. That may be the greatest trade since Luca. I mean, that's a strong one. No batteries, though, but it's a Game Boy.

In that case, it's a pretty even trade. We've got to take a break. We're back in a moment with a great list of bangers upcoming. If you want them, we'll get them on 800-520-1067. And then we'll call Ali and get a live report from traffic to see just how bad it is on the open roads of Southern California as we return after this. That's right. That's a certified banger right there. If you have something you need to hear on KROQ this morning, the banger bus is rolling through into your Labor Day weekend.

Technically, the banger bus is sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic like the rest of us. And it's part of the reason that Ali bounced out of here early. We will get into another banger in a moment as requested on the text line at 800-520-1067. You can also call with your banger request, 800-520-1067 or 323-TIBOLI. But right now, we have the box of shame. The box. What's in the box? Of shame.

Shame. Our deepest, darkest. Shame. Most shameful secret. Shame. Revealed. Why? Because we care and we remain fully transparent.

you've seen us at our worst and one day we hope you'll see us at our best if we ever get there so all of us have added stuff to the box and we've learned a lot about each other sadly we are a despicable bunch of people but aren't we all when all of our secrets become public this next person in the box of shame oh this is this is girl writing this is not me i don't think Oof, I hope it's her. If Allie's not here and it's her, we have to call her. But I don't think this person used the off-limits toilets at work and clogged them.

What do you mean the off-limits toilets? Jake? What are off-limits toilets? No toilets off-limits for me. Jake has a card from the government that says that. Okay. What are... Vanessa?

What are the off-limits toilets? The cell-side toilets. You're such a child. Who would refer to them as the off-limits toilets? Yeah, why are they off-limits? Because they're so nice. No one goes there. Because they're on the sales side?

And they're just nicer than the ones on our side. Our side really needs to get some facelift. They suck. But it's downtown in downtown L.A. The public ones are in better condition than the ones that care about you. Oh, my gosh. It's crazy. So that's why I go to the other side.

It's so funny that you refer to them as the off-limits toilets. Like, you're an adult. You understand that, right? Yes, I do. This is why I'm convinced that you're right, Omar, and we have actually hired a child. Because only a child would use the verbiage, I use the off-limits toilets. Five years from now, Netflix is going to be making a documentary about our show, hiring Vanessa as a producer when she was like six years old. Yeah, we hired the six-year-old that came in here with some weird adoption paper mix-up.

Because I'm going to tell you right now, the only time I've ever heard the phrase off-limits toilets is when it's my kids talking about the bathroom in my bedroom. And they say, oh, that's an off-limits toilet. I thought it was off-limits because it's on the other side. And what did you do to the off-limits toilet? Well, I blame Jake for this, first of all. I pooped my pants and I don't have underwear. I hate that I even put that in there. And you didn't really shake that box.

This happened to me this week. Well, it's right on the top of the box of shame. It's the first one I touched. So basically, I now have anxiety in the morning, which means I have to poop like twice before the show starts. Wait, you think Jake... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How's this my fault?

Because you gave me this condition. You think you caught Jake's condition? Jake's condition. I have a lot of anxiety. Why do you think I poop now? Exactly. When did this all start? I don't know.

Ever since... That's a great question. This started happening once we started doing good here. So you didn't have a poop problem when we were... Oh, so it was out of pressure, huh? Oh, so you feel a pressure now to perform because now people are listening to the show? And you didn't have that before? You didn't care when we were...

Before, I just was more relaxed. Now I have to be like, oh, my gosh. The amount of pressure I felt. To do less of things that we have to do. When I knew that every day we were about to get fired... Yeah, that was the opposite. That was the most amount of pressure. Yeah, no kidding.

You counted every day. Yeah, every day, Jacob would be like, by the way, I heard the boss say you guys have two weeks left. I was like, all right, well, there's some pressure. It's easier to suck than to win. Uh-huh. It's just less pressure. We still suck.

I got an answer for you. We still suck. I don't think we suck. I like that. But you now have a condition that you've developed. Well, I don't know. What I have is anxiety. Basically, I went to the restroom.

I used it, and it wasn't flushing. I was like, are you kidding me? This could not be happening to me right now. There's no time for this. How big was this log? As big as her? I don't know. I don't know.

It just wasn't flushing. And I didn't know what to do. And I just, like, pressed. I was like, are you kidding me? So now I don't even go to that bathroom. I go to the other one. But anyway, I pressed the button. Basically, it's not really a box of shame because I figured it out.

I almost left it. It's in the box of shame, which means you put it in there. It's a half box of shame. Half cease. And by the way, to the sales staff, the sales wing of the, I know that supposedly your bathrooms are off limits for us disgusting people who work on the on-air part of radio. But apologies that Vanessa violated your toilets this past week. Did you use the woman's one? Obviously.

I will say, and I know my name wasn't pulled in this box of shame, I used to go and use the woman's one in that wing as well. I used to use the old ladies in the old K-Rock building when we were in Venice because it was so much nicer. Yeah, because it had a couch in there and candles. This doesn't have a couch, but it is in much better shape usually, and I would go in in the early, early hours before we'd go on the air. So I always felt like it was a victimless crime. But I did for a long time use the off-limits toilet, as Vanessa put it. All right. Well, there you go.

You're out of the box of shame. Do you feel better? Do you feel cleansed? Yeah. Just don't bring it up again. Oh, I'm sure that won't happen. Thank you for being a part of the Banger Bust. We will officially get the hell out of here now with some takeaways,

tell you what we have in store for you next week. And once again, if you made it out to the Endless Summer Kegger, thank you for making it out. If you couldn't make it out, don't worry. next week. We will let you know bright and early, I think Monday or Tuesday morning, where we are going to be doing something next. And that will be open

to the general public. No tickets needed. So we will tell you where you'll be going, what we got in store for you. I actually think we're going to be debuting our greatest piece of show merch ever since the tiny towel. This may be our best show merch ever. And I did see that we had new Slogger shirts

that were being given out yesterday at the Endless Summer Kegger. I didn't get my hands on one of those. Do we have any of those left, or did we give those all away? I have no clue, but I feel like there has to be at least one. Well, if you got one of them brand new Slugger shirts, you're in a very exclusive club, because

we didn't even get them. So, anyway, thanks for everyone who came by and said nice things about the show. It means a lot to us to see you guys in person, drink with you, and I think the hotel said they went through more kegs at our Endless Summer Kegger than any event in previous memory. So that means

We took down weddings. We've taken down other events. It's an honor when we can break that record. I don't know why that didn't make the news, but let's get that story out there. I mean, I don't know. They were replacing kegs every 15 seconds, it looked like. It was getting crazy there. And that'll be, anyway, next week we'll try to one-up it by telling you where we'll be going to next.

And we hope you can join us at that. All right. Takeaways from today's show from the text line include the following. 909 said cheesecake cheese 213 says Ali has now mushed boobs no one likes those anymore

because of how she said it 818 said you mess with the trampolinist you get the spatula never forget that you never know who could be a trampolinist in hiding that's why you gotta be in your best behavior someone could be a gymnast 424 Jake is the gift

that keeps on giving And welcome back, Boobie Milk from 818. That's right. Welcome back to Allie and her Boobie Milk. Congratulations, Allie, who's going to have a little baby boy. That's what we found out. So that's exciting, and we'll do it again next week and try to do it better. What's your takeaway from today's show?

Vanessa? Allie has a tattoo of her grandfather. Tattoo of her grandfather's current appearance. It's currently on her stretch-out stomach. That's a good takeaway. You got a takeaway, Johnny? Bang that bus. Got to bang that bus.

By the way, if you enjoyed the banger bus, don't worry, because in about an hour, all things on KROQ turn into a Labor Day to Z weekend with Sluggo and then everyone else to get you through your Labor Day weekend. What's your takeaway there, Jake? This weekend, I'm looking forward to seeing some boobs. No one is. Boobs. No one is.

Omar, takeaway? Coach Ham is the best ham. Man, you get that ham in coach. That's how you know you're flying the friendly skies. If you don't know what we're talking about, check out the complete podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. You can also check out clips of the show on YouTube. Thank you, Ginger Justin, for keeping the stream up for most of the week.

And a lot of people did get a chance to meet Ginger Justin yesterday, which was a real risk because he was out there during sunset. And you know what, Ginger, sometimes they explode during sunset. We get into your weekend song now, and then we'll do it next week and try to do it better. If you need us between now and then, there's a GOAT line for you, 844-956-GOAT, or on the Instagram and TikTok at Klein Alley Show. All right, that is it for us.

Goodbye. Good luck. I have diarrhea. Wasabi! Excuse me, I'm racist. I don't know. It's not about that Monday, Tuesday. No one cares about Wednesday. Thursday.

Forget that horse. Are you ready for the weekend? Hello, ladies! Are you ready for the rear end? Are you ready for the weekend? One, two, three, four, five. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, trash. Thursday, Friday, forget about that

Friday, Saturday, Wednesday Sunday, sleeping in Eatin' brunch I have no lice You're being a little prissy bitch I just want to say, who gave you crap? Operazione Dynamite It's the beach or it's the mall

Go out with friends, do nothing at all Sleep in, watch movies, read books Anything goes, just take a look Fish! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the rear end? Let's just let the guy sniff butts.