Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 4- Wedding Season, Klein's Movie Mush and MORE

Episode Date: August 21, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Hey, congratulations. You've made it to the weekend. Unless you're one of those people that has that weird work schedule where you're like, Tuesdays, Thursdays are my weekend. In which case, sorry, you're here at the weekend and you'll be working. It is kind of nice, though, for those people when they run errands or do anything during the week. There's nobody around. That's how it feels.

It must be nice. I know. If you have one of those weird-ass schedules. So I know we've been talking about this four-day workweek thing and how I think Wednesday should be the day off that everyone has. We've talked to people that claim that they can kind of, as long as they do their 40 hours or whatever, it doesn't matter how they space them. So sometimes they just do two marathon days and take a long-ass weekend. I would do that in a party. Sounds great.

Two or two and a half days of just like solid working, and then you have four days off. Or even five. You go like a 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. workday, which seems like a grind. Knock it all out. I would just do a bunch of cocaine or coffee. Take up smoking so you have to go on those cigarette breaks. Next thing you know, your day is gone. I mean, those days would suck.

Those days would suck pretty bad. But then you buy yourself an extra day or two. Oh, my God. Just do it in shifts. That's where it's at. What if we just did one really long show that was 20 hours long? And then took the rest of the week off. What if we do 25 hours a week of the show?

And then it's all the meetings that really eat into our day. That's the worst part. Okay, cancel all those. One marathon day. 25-hour broadcast. and then we're done. This hour on the show, we have access for you

to come hang out with us. Endless Summer Kegger, Back Bay Amphitheater, Hyatt Regency, Newport Beach on September 3rd. Slightly Stupid will be there. I don't know how many of these things...

Vanessa, how many things have been confirmed for the Endless Summer Kegger? I know there's been a lot of conversation about different things we're trying to put together. Has anything been

officially confirmed yet or no? Oof. I want to say a couple of things. I don't like your first answer. Like the food. Like the food. Oof is not the noise I was hoping for.

Well, it's because I don't want to say, like, this is confirmed. Because the truth is, I don't know. The food has been confirmed, though? Yeah, the food has been confirmed. So there's food. We know this. There's food. Which I thought there was a discrepancy as to who was doing the food.

The food's done. Do we know the place? Yeah. You guys agreed on this? Oh, we did? Uh-huh. It was not the first thing we were offered, was it? No.

Okay, good. Second thing. Oof, that was a bad thing. That was a bad offer at the beginning. That was a real oof. Gotta be on a oof to that. So anyway, all right, good. So we've got something figured out.

We have better food than the first food. I wish we didn't care so much because the reality is we should just say, yeah, whatever, put it together and we'll just show up. And the problem is we really do feel like we want to put on something fun for our listeners. And you would look at us and say they don't have standards. Right. But we do have some. Yeah. And whenever they come to us and they go, guys, because the way things work around here, and Omar can vouch for this because it's been happening for years,

they will always try to figure out the path of least resistance. What is the easiest and cheapest way to do anything? And then we say, hold on one second. Can't we put in a little goddamn effort and say thank you to any listeners that you've given us their time and put on a party that they would actually be excited about? And instead, it's like, how about a bunch of salad and jalapenos? Yeah. That were all recalled.

Yeah, we got recalled jalapenos. You think the people would care about that? Good news, guys. Technically, that is food. So anyway, all right, good. So we've got good food now. Good food, good drinks, good kegs, and you. And the entertainment is taken care of.

We've got Slightly Stupid, but there's also some side party tricks. Oh, yes. Put it all together. But we'll get you in this hour for sure. Of course, Dominic Fyke is on your KROQ right now. This is called Baby Doll. I think wedding season is kind of here now. And I say that because Omar is too busy to even come to his own birthday party because wedding is happening every weekend.

And I think people freak out at the hottest parts of the summer. But then I think as you start to get into that nice part of fall, not that we really have seasons here, I feel like it really amps up. People like to have these weddings pretty much now, straight up through the end of the year. Yeah, we were one of those douches that had a September wedding. Yeah. But we actually are in a, I got an interesting request from a wedding invite that I actually have next month, September. And we're traveling for this wedding.

We're traveling to Chicago. It's a gay wedding. Gay wedding in Chicago. Yep, two ladies getting married. Spitting God's face. What? What? Is that why you didn't go to my wedding?

I don't stand for it. I would have gone, but you wouldn't have let me hold my protest sign. So we had said yes. We booked the flights. We got the Airbnb, all that. Expensive. And we get a request from one of the brides who said, would you mind ever so much if your kid could sit?

The guy's got two brides? No, it's two women. What? Are you being funny? It's not working. Oh. it rarely does so she said would you mind if wesley sat on your guys's lap during dinner and i was like oh so our kid wouldn't get a chair for dinner and i'm not sure if that also means he

gets no meal but they said that they over committed to the guest list too many people have said yes was his name on the invitation yeah it was oh that's that's no that's uh very uncool then. It's one thing, because here's I have a picture of this happening. They invite you and Katie, and then you do that thing where you're like, hey, is it cool if we bring our kid? No, it says his name on there. Are you sure it's on there? Yeah, it's on there. We all discussed

that our kids are good, because it's with our other friend who has a kid. We all knew going in. That's a ballsy request on their part. Yeah, I was like, wait, so they expect and I understand if it's a baby, an infant, or something like that, or even two and under, I can kind of understand, but

A kid who's four and a half years old is supposed to sit on my lap instead of getting his own time. I know, and he's tall. He doesn't eat anything, but at least he needs his own space. He's going to wiggle around in a chair for 30 seconds. He needs a chair to do that. So I was wondering if that is at outlandish. But the thing is, weddings are getting more expensive. Sure.

If every chair, you know, they kind of do the math. Every chair slash every plate is worth, let's just call it, $250 a head. I don't even know what they are these days. Probably more than that, right? They're spending double what they originally had in their budget. So they go, hey, if we can just go ahead and have a few of these people lap it up, save a couple thousand. I don't know, with grandma and grandpa, everyone just kind of sits in a lap. Can't believe they didn't ask you to sit on Katie's lap for this thing.

I was wondering if they were going to do dinner in shifts so they didn't have to pay for extra chairs. Half of you get dinner at 6.30, the other half get dinner at 7, 7.30. But people, guests are spending more than ever on weddings, and this is happening everywhere. A hefty wedding bill isn't just for the bride and groom. Guests are paying to RSVP yes, too. The average attendee is shelling out about $1,400 per wedding this year, according to a new survey from BMO Financial Group. It's a price tag that bride-to-be Isabel Fisher knows all too well. I would say I've been to about 15 to 16 weddings.

So imagine if you're paying $1,400 for every wedding, that gets really expensive. You've got to have a separate side hustle just to cover all of your wedding expenses, even as just a guest. Well, and their recommendation is for everyone to start saving up. People are trying to save up for their own potential weddings, let alone other people's weddings. And then the question is, if I'm traveling, I'm bringing my entire family, three of us, there and back. It's, I used points, but still, you're spending money, sort of. Sure, hotel, the whole thing. The hotel, we're buying dresses, I assume, at some point.

I've got to buy clothing that she'll return the next day back to the store she bought it at. That's time and effort. Right. Okay, so then how much do you give for a wedding gift if you traveled that far for the wedding? I don't know what people say now. You can't even factor that in anymore. Because if you start factoring that in, you start doing the math, people end up giving nothing. You can do that all day.

I just got an invitation in the mail yesterday for a wedding in Ireland. Whoa, cool. You got to go. I'm not going. No way, no how. I mean, it's not a free trip, but it's an excuse for a bucket list trip. Don't care. Not going.

Doesn't matter. Is it a close friend? No. Not of mine. My wife's friend. My wife's a co-worker friend. Cool. But I'm marrying an Irish guy.

And so they're doing some castle in Ireland. Good for her. I said, I opened the thing. I said, see what this is? That's going to be so fun. Everyone's going to get so wasted in a castle. Not going. I just wanted to say, I didn't even know.

I just wanted to get a ballpark. What's a, what's a, how long does it even take to fly from LA to Ireland? Take a guess. We went to India for a wedding. Take a guess. Probably round trip. It'd be about two grand. I didn't even look at the price.

I just looked at the time. Like 12 hours? Out on that. Yeah, like 12. Yeah, it's 12 hours. That's not that bad. Sucks. Dude, it super sucks.

Yeah, but then you're there in Ireland. Then you're in a castle. I'm not doing... It's just a matter of the point. Yeah, but you're still at a wedding. It's not like you're going to go do your own thing. Yeah, you can. You plan around it.

You'll go all the way to Ireland so I can wait in a buffet line and have a, you know... Just go to an Irish pub instead. Right. You can do that in Burbank. Well, Irish food sucks. That's what I was told. That's the one thing. do a different country for that but the point is and omar knows this better than him because he's

at a wedding every weekend multiple weddings a weekend uh nothing it is weddings were always expensive even when things were not expensive and now that everything has gotten expensive the the wedding everything involved in the wedding has gone up like tenfold yeah but you did a destination wedding that was once again it was before i yeah but you also you invite people knowing that most of them won't go and then there are people who are adventurers who are going hell yeah i'll go to cabo hell yeah i'll go to ireland hell yeah i'll go to india and they just use it as an opportunity to have a once in a lifetime experience we took an extra i think three or four days before all the wedding i mean it was an indian wedding so the wedding itself was like

five days long but still there was plenty to do and it was an incredible trip uh someone says 11 hours 850 round trip to go to dublin that's not bad at all it's not happening but uh but the important thing can i go instead sure cool i wonder if you can transfer your now i guess you probably can't i'll pretend to be you guys just understand this everything's gotten expensive now people are now paying to go to a wedding more than ever so some people are charging you know that whole thing that's been going on now people say we'd love you to come to the wedding and it was used to be like hey just you know just get your expectations in check it's not going to be like one of those bars we pay for your drinks and now people are saying like here's the cost to

attend the wedding where the people are actually paying two hundred dollars invited and buying a ticket to go because probably people were skimping out on the wedding presents so now they're like I'm going to force you into a wedding gift. You're going to donate to my wedding whether you like it or not. We take a quick break. We get back in a moment. We have more chances for you. In fact, right after this quick break, you'll be joining us at the Endless Summer Kegger Go Nowhere show continues next.

We are Klein Alley Show. Good morning, Armando. Why are you on the phones right now? I am calling because I want to win the Endless Summer Kegger tickets. You have called at the exact right time. You are the right caller. We will see you on September 3rd, all right? Perfect.

Thank you. See you there. trying. No lamos. Can't wait to hang out and have some beers together at the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. Allie, can we please get you to sing the National Anthem at the Clam Slam? Please.

For the love of God. It's been a long time since you've done it. We, the people, need it. Yeah, someone just sent me a picture yesterday of the time that Allie sang the National Anthem at Tenderfest. And it was her flanked on both sides by two people in chicken costumes.

That had their hands over their hearts. It's one of the greatest, I don't know how, I don't think we've ever released that picture of the public before, but it is maybe one of the greatest pictures ever taken. Allie is wearing a 1975 shirt, belting out the national anthem to a bunch of people eating chicken tenders. Flanked by chickens. Flanked by two chickens. And Vanessa has tried to eat this picture multiple times, but it is worth posting on

Instagram, a Klein Allie show. Well, I think the first time I sang the national anthem in public, I went to a dog park to celebrate somebody's dog birthday. Right, because you were doing it. The goal was eventually get to a professional arena. Every year, we've had this little running gag where they ask the LA Kings if they're interested in having you, and they pretend that they're thinking about it, and they always say no. Well, what's insulting is that every year, our promo guy asks, are you still interested? Right.

I go, well, yes, I'm still interested, and then they ask, and they say no. It's not LA that's not interested. It's the Kings. The Kings are not interested. Why don't you ask them? Why don't you ask them, are you still not interested? Right. They're still not interested, but then we all, we feel like we finally got that sweet glory when you got to sing it on the field at the-

At the Galaxy Games. The LA Galaxy game, because that's a professional team, and so that counted, and then we kind of moved on. But maybe Ali does come out of retirement and sings at the Clamslam to kick things off officially. If you recall, when I sang the National Anthem at the LA Galaxy game, a viral video came out of that. Not because of you, though.

A little baby that was hearing the National Anthem for the first time, and he was hearing me sing it, and he was crying. Well, we don't know why. Honestly, I think a lot of people were crying. Yeah, we don't know why he was crying. He was crying because he thought it was beautiful. The mean lady's singing. So anyway, it did go viral.

That was actually fascinating, and you were once again snubbed from all. No, nobody knew that it was me. Right, no. It doesn't even say the game or the team or anything, I don't think. You were background noise mostly. Who do you think is the most motivating person on our show? I know we do most least a lot when it comes to things like, you know, meanest. You won meanest on the show, or gayest.

Johnny won that. Who do you think is the most motivating person? like to work with. Motivating or motivated? Motivating. I think Vanessa. Really? Just because it's like, come on guys, let's do it. But she gives up on herself.

In the middle of her let's do it, she gives up. You guys can do it or not, I don't care. Yeah, that's the best we got. And because you guys give me like, ugh, this bitch. Sorry. So it's like, I don't want to annoy you with my positivity that I have become negative.

Oh, man. So at one point you were true positive. Truly, I was so extremely positive and then life, life took it away from me. Yeah, that kind of tears us apart. I feel guilty in a weird way because I had a friend that was, I felt like I tried to be very motivating for him to quote follow his dream. And people don't usually come to me for advice on things, but this guy had been yapping for years about how he wanted to make a movie. I want to make a movie. And I said, all I hear you do is talk about making a movie.

Like a porn? I said, you want to make a porn? I'm interested. Fine, I'll do it. I got people. He goes, no, I want to make a horror movie. Horror movie? Horror.

Horror with O-R-R something. And I said, all I've heard you do is talk about for the last few years how you want to make this movie. Go make the movie. It's never been easier to just go do something. That's true. It's pretty hard to make a movie. It's not. I mean, yes, I'm sure it is.

You need a lot of money. A good movie. I couldn't make a movie I'm not that type of person But if you know how to edit And you know how to use You know Cameras or whatever

You could probably make a movie I think about the guys In Always Sunny in Philadelphia New season just dropped Funniest show on TV still And those guys They wanted to make that TV show No one would make it

They went and I think They bought cameras At Best Buy Or Circuit City at the time I even want to say And then they 30 days before they had to return them To get their money back

They shot the pilot episode And look at this show 18 seasons later Longest running sitcom all of tv right there there are unicorn stories like that but 99 of people who say i'm gonna make a movie and i'm just gonna be scrappy and figure it out they're usually terrible so i said to this guy about five different times i don't want to hear you bitch about this anymore just go make the movie and he last summer he listened to my advice he went he found some abandoned summer

camp and he shot this horror movie and i didn't really know that he was even working on it until he said to me a week ago i'm gonna have my first official screening of this movie that i went and shot sounds very original by the way summer camp horror movie right never done that was his idea and you told him go for it yeah i didn't ask how about uh come up with something a little different i didn't ask for i'm not uh you know the creative type when it comes to that but you're in this industry you're literally the most creative person i know yeah but i but i'm not going to tell the guy the idea is it's been done before i just said uh you should go do it go do the video go do your movie if you want to make a movie i don't want to hear you talk about it just go do it don't you

have a friend don't you have any friends that say they want to do something terrible idea no i would never say that well it's backfired on me and this is why i'm now no longer going to try to motivate anyone because he spent uh an entire year of his life and every dollar he could possibly find and borrow and beg and steal and he went to this summer camp and he shot this movie and they showed it to a theater full of people and i will be honest i was actually my expectations were low the movie was very good like was it celebrities in it or anything no celebrities nudity though some nudity okay but professional looking movie like way more professional than you know i would expect my expectations once again were as you'd expect for most of your friends that do like when

i went to your stupid play you did and i was like my expectations were pretty low and it was pretty i also shot up i raised money and shot a pilot i don't think i watched that okay but i can donate But I did donate. I said, I'll donate, but I don't want to watch it. And Ali said, fine. If you're going to rate this movie from a 1 to 10, what do you give it? 7. Really?

On a regular movie scale? Better than Odyssey. Wow. Because it was shorter. And it had nudity. And it was, no, it was a good old-fashioned slasher thing. Yeah, I watched that, like, Five Nights at Freddy's Part 2 last night. Oh, what a turd that was.

Not good. Not good. But this was a throwback to those, if you remember when we grew up at least, There was a lot of these summer camp slasher films where the deaths... That's Texas Chainsaw Massacre thread. Right. Even a lot of the Friday the 13th ones that happened. That's definitely a summer camp.

There was even a movie called, I think, Summer Camp that happened. So this was of that ilk, but those haven't happened in a while, and there's a whole new generation now that didn't really get to experience those, and they seem so dated now if you look back at some of those ones. So now... Was the idea within the movie original, at least, like the plot? It's not very cookie-cutter, I guess? Um, well, there was no twist at the end.

Uh, like it wasn't one of those things where you're like, aha, the chef did it. So it was just kind of just a slasher movie. It's just some crazy person. Yeah, I don't think it was overthinking it. Uh, you got crazy guy by the name of Crazy Bones, actually. He's been wanting to make this for years and he didn't know. Crazy Bones was crazy, turns out. And the point is this.

Uh, I watched the thing and I say to him, are you glad you did it? And he goes, yeah, uh, I'm glad I did it. Now I need to sell it, hopefully, or else I won't make any money. And then I'm going to be in debt forever. And I said, well, good luck with that. Do you know how much he's in? He wouldn't tell me the number, but I think he borrowed from anyone and everyone he could borrow from. It's definitely in the millions, right?

I don't know that answer. You could probably make that for under a million if you have the summer camp and the actors. Once again, I have no idea. I know there's not any actor in there I've ever heard of before. But I thought they were. But now you have to find a buyer, and that's tough. Because the closest I ever got was the Roku channel. I know.

I know. And I was thrilled about that. And they gave you $0. They gave me $0, and then they made my pilot completely unfindable. And then eventually they took it off. They buried it. But I think I would love to believe at some point someone that I've given any sort of motivation to has gone. Like, I would love this to be the next Obsession sort of thing.

Because Obsession was one of those movies that cost nothing to make, and it became, made $65 million or something. Yeah, again, unicorn story. But so where is he at? Has he sold it? So I did something pretty stupid when he showed it to the room full of people. He said, hey, do you mind introducing the movie? And I said, sure, that's fine. And he said, just so you know, there's going to be some people in the audience from studios that are interested in maybe buying the movie.

And I decided I would try to make it sound like it was really in demand. So I go, you guys are about to see a movie. You're the first people to see it. There's already a bidding frenzy for it. Oh, man, you mushed it. So you're probably already out of luck or something like that. Oh, my God. And then he said to me, why did you say that?

Because now all these people are saying, congratulations on getting it. These people strike me as the kind of people that don't want to waste their time. There's already a bidding war. It's like, ah, forget it. He goes, why would you say there's a bidding frenzy? I said, oh, I thought it was going to drive up the price. Yeah, you were overselling it. This is once again, so I agree.

So now nothing's happened? I don't know. Turns out Klein's the killer. I'm the killer. There was a twist. What was his name? Crazy Bones. You're Crazy Bones.

I'm the real killer. I'm the killer of dreams. You bring your dreams to me, I tell you, let's go ahead and spend a lot of time on them and make it happen. But I do think, Allie, and I've said this to you before, even when you were talking about your dumb show idea. Thank you. The queer eye for the straight guy with the ladies. Butch Powell for the straight go. Yeah, I said you should go make it.

And I did. And I'm happy that I did. Yeah. But it resulted in zero dollars. No. Right. Actually, I did get $16 last year. Oh.

So there you go. It is on one streaming platform. See that, guys? Whatever your dream is, you follow it. Those are your... And then when... And then you get a PayPal for $16. You say it was all worth it.

Worth it. Congratulations again to Postmaster Johnny, a.k.a. Jay Leno and Vanessa. They tied in the dumb-off finale. And as a result, they're both wearing the sash of stupidity together. Vanessa is not feeling well. She's under the weather. So understand that she did compete. This was like her Michael Jordan flu game, but she did still succeed.

And congratulations to the dumbest people on the show. Allie, do you think we should listen to the song one more time to celebrate? Why not? And then we'll do some takeaways from today's show. You missed it. Check out the podcast. Ali's pregnancy The least thing wrong inside her brain

Her stupid answers Leave us stupefied and tame Vanessa has a language barrier So she has an excuse Johnny has no excuse For his answers so obtuse Here they are They're the dumbest on the show.

They sound like they're high, but their IQ is low. It's the dumb of. The dumb of. Thank you, Seth MacFarlane, for not doing that for us. The show has class now, and this is Ali's goal. Our long-term goal is to slowly turn this show into some sort of a weird musical. So there you have it. Yes, I love it.

Takeaways from today's show, and congratulations again to our dumbest on the show, Johnny and Vanessa. All right, what do we got in the world of takeaways? Three, two, three. My takeaway is there's nothing like a 7.30 corndog. Yeah, 7.30 a.m. corndog. Hits different. Hits different. Six, two, six.

My takeaway is if you're 25 and dying of old age, it's because you had an abortion. Yeah. One of the dumbest answers of the day. Some people say that that answer should have clinched Johnny's victory right there. 3-1-0, Jake is level 2 autistic. 9-2-5, ice cream. 4-2-4, we made Johnny dumb. That's right, according to Johnny, we made him dumb.

4-0-8, everyone is welcome, except for that crap guy. And 9-0-9, my takeaway is people who shave a lot are captains. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? Are you being funny? It's not working. Thank you. Johnny, takeaway? You could definitely poop your pants at LAX.

You sure can. Doesn't matter how many bathrooms they got there. Allie, takeaway? Happy wife, BJ's later. That's a good takeaway from today's show. Jake, you have a takeaway? Yeah, poodles are easy to run over. They are.

And DJ Omar Khan. Autism gets you free stuff. Free stuff. You got to amp it up a little bit, though. 626, keep her tummy full and her balls drained. That's a good takeaway from today's show as well. That's how you keep your wives happy. That was stupid.

Here's your weekend song. We'll do it next week. attempt to do it better uh vanessa we're not allowed to tell people we have for the next week or we are i forgot what you said earlier tease well the the main one tease and the second thing you can share you're stupid main one uh the main one what's the main one looks like we're doing a new destination a new band for road trip usa and this looks cool oh we can't say the band though Yeah. Nah.

All right. It's going to be good, though. You'll like it. That's next week. New destination, new band. Monday morning, big announcement coming. Here's your weekend song. All right, goodbye.

We're at the Pantages. Go-a-ting-a-ba-ka-ta-ting. Well, I don't know. I keep it crunchy, baby. It's not about that Monday, Tuesday. No one cares about Wednesday, Thursday. Forget that. Jimmy.

Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Are you ready for the weekend? Hong Kong. Are you ready for the rear end? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, trash. Thursday, Friday, forget about that. Friday, Saturday, Wednesday, Saturday.

Sunday, sleeping in. Eat your lunch. I ride the D, proud to ride the D. Look at me. Meow, meow. E. E-I-I-I-I. I'm gonna go to Tarjay.

Grrr. The beach or hit the mall. Go out with friends, do nothing at all. Sleep in, watch movies, read books Anything goes Just take a look Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end?

Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end?

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