Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Is It Cheating

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Cheating.

Sucks to be cheated on. It's a terrible feeling, and you don't want to be, you know, you definitely don't want Jake to call you a cheating bitch. That's what you don't want, because that is the ultimate insult to get, and you don't want to receive that, because he says it like that every time. And already on the text line, before Alley even gets into this list that we've uncovered, there's people that are asking us hypotheticals. My wife went to her high school reunion.

Didn't tell me that she spent any time with her ex from high school, but then I saw in a picture that they took to they saw that they took a picture picture together is that cheating taking a picture with somebody no i don't think it's the taking the picture with though it's the it's the omitting who did you see oh i saw jennifer and then oh i also saw but also at some point you go some guy she dated i don't know 10 20 years ago is that really worthy of mentioning but then if you don't mention it then all of a sudden you're talking why didn't you mention it yeah nothing why wouldn't you just said oh by the way the guy i used to date in uh high school was there how funny is that but i do think that in some ways and maybe i'm generalizing here

guys leave things out just out of convenience i don't want it to get brought up i don't want this to be a conversation or an argument so i'm just not going to say anything and then it get they get themselves in more trouble because they didn't say anything uh meanwhile ali i didn't know this restaurant existed but according to 714 my wife got mad at me because i went to a restaurant called Ojos Locos, which is like a Mexican Hooters. And she said... Now I just want to go to Ojos Locos. Why have we not been eating

at Ojos Locos? Crazy eyes. Is that what that means? Has anyone here been to an Ojos Locos? I've never heard that. What are we doing sitting here like a bunch of losers? Is that Crazy Eyes? Yeah, we gotta go there. Why are we having an event in Newport? We should be having it at Ojos Locos. Let's go sales team.

Get us going. We want a new sponsorship. Anyway, this guy said that she I get my day started. He's cheating because he went there, which is one of those, quote, breast-raunts. But once again, this is why we have to break this down now and decide where society sits. All right, Alice. Well, it also depends on if he went by himself, if he went with a group, you know. Did he go with his mistress?

Exactly. Those are all good questions. Okay, so what about keeping an ongoing flirtatious text conversation with another person? All right, everyone write your answers down. We'll lock in, and then, Ali, we'll let us know what the general public thinks about this. An ongoing flirtatious text chat. Now, can I ask you a question? I have been accused because I...

You did do this. I didn't do this. Yeah, remember you were flirting with that girl all weekend? Oh, grok. What are we talking about? Grok? You're talking about my... No, no.

You talked... Remember there was a girl who was like, sorry, wrong number, and then you guys kept flirting with each other. It wasn't all weekend. It was a wrong number situation. I was just being funny and ridiculous. But that's the question. Is funny flirty?

Is funny flirty? Well, that's your way of flirting, so yeah. It's not my way. It's my way of communicating with anyone. No. Not with you, Jake, but that's a good point. But I mean, I try to be funny with you, Ally. You think I'm flirting with you?

No. Right. No, I'm not. No, but you, but... My language. But when you shared some of your text conversation with this person, it was different than the way you... You're like role-playing.

Yes. I was role-playing. You're like being funny, flat. You have a different type of funny when you're flirting. But also, if you... It's not any funnier, but... Thank you. Yeah.

But if it's not going to go anywhere, like I think that once again, if you're flirting with someone, a co-worker, for instance, you see him every day and you know you're going to be in a situation where something could escalate. It's very different than if a wrong number from the other side of the country and you're just playing around with someone. Yeah, but that's just keeping an ongoing flirtatious text thread. Wasn't keeping it going. But OK, so I'm going to write that down. Hold on. Keeping an ongoing. Everyone write down if that's flirting.

Maintaining a dating profile just to look. if you're on a dating app and you've got the profile active just so you can look around one is okay go ahead next one

keeping somebody in your phone under a fake name we talked about that you've got somebody in your phone you realize maybe there's a reason I shouldn't have this person's

real name on my phone because my significant other will see it I'm going to change the name by the way 714 wants to point out Ohos Locos is about more ass

than boobs cool I love it I'm more of an ass lady so that's a good place for Allie deleting messages so that your partner won't see them got something to hide why are you deleting the messages

keeping in touch with an ex without telling your partner about it and then the final one we'll do is sending heart emojis or compliments or even inside jokes in a romantic way yeah what makes that romantic I mean, with emojis, with language being... Emojian poots? Emoji poots. Okay. Sending heart emojis, compliments, or insults.

This is all stuff that I guess you could argue is not cheating on a... If you're going to go by the definition of cheating... It's not sex with another person. Right, but these are all things that... Are indicative. Are definitely in that... This is all bad news, for sure. It's not good.

Some of them I put no, though, for. Did anyone put no for any of them? Yeah. Yeah, I did. A lot of mine was a yes. Hold on. You put no for some of those, Vanessa? Number six.

Keeping in touch with the next without telling your... I mean, you're just the one that hurt your partner's feelings. But if you're keeping in touch... You're lying. Yeah, that's the one I put yes for. You're not lying because you're not saying anything. It's funny. I also put yes for that one, and that's the one Vanessa put no for?

I put no to everything else except for that one. Because Vanessa claims she does have an ex she stays in touch with, and... Yeah, and because I stay in touch with him because I don't even like him. I like him as my friend. So wait, let's start from the beginning. So number one, keeping an ongoing flirtatious text conversation. What did everyone vote for that? Yes or no?

Yes. Yes. So everyone says... Maybe. Okay, that was the number one. 41% of people think that's cheating. I mean, once again, I don't know. Is flirty, like, sexual?

If you have to constantly clarify this question, then obviously... And someone you never hooked up with. Someone you've never hooked up with at all. I don't think it needs to be... Yes, it does. It makes a difference. Are you trying to smash, or have you already smashed? Well, this is my point.

All of this is in a very... Well, everyone else said yes, and you said maybe, depending on the type of flirting. I said no. If you hooked up with them before, then yes. But if you're just, like, a friend, you're being flirty with another, like, lady, whatever, no. Well, sometimes it can keep your relationship kind of exciting if you're flirting with other people. Right. I got, I'll be honest, Natalie.

I got, and this is going to be hard to believe, I got hit on, in my opinion, I got hit on at a Trader Joe's yesterday, not by an employee, but hit on by a shopping cart, crashed right in my big fat neck by a female that was there, a shopper. I thought she was hitting on me. What was she saying? And then I told my wife exactly what happened, and my wife said, she wasn't hitting on you. What did she say? She came up to me.

I had two baskets in both hands, and she goes, your hands- Why did you have two baskets? You know? You're double fisting at Trader Joe's? Because my kids, they got rid of those kid carts there. Is this like when you had those water jugs? Yes, I was lifting them. I was benching them.

I had two baskets, and she said, and she came up, and she was single mom. Are you off to visit grandma? I said, I got to skip through the woods and get these to my grandma. I got eaten by a wolf. And she said, your hands look pretty full right now, but you look like you can handle it. Ew. Right? I don't think that's cheating.

Oh, she was flirty. Yeah, that's flirting. I said, uh... Oh, I can. I dropped the basket. She's like, I can't handle it. These are all full of Jozos. One of my kids came over and ruined it.

Said, Daddy, can we get the strawberry cream cheese? I said, not now. I'm being hit on. My wife said I was not. She goes, you're crazy. You're not being hit on. That's not being hit on. That's just a person making conversation. Why would anyone make conversation with anyone if you're not trying to flirt? That's a crazy way of thinking.

nobody would interact with anybody unless they were flirting uh in that situation yeah at a grocery store you wouldn't talk to anybody at all unless you're flirting with them that's right you wouldn't say excuse me if i bumped into someone so when you're saying good shop to somebody at costco you're flirting that's no because i'm appreciating the shop that's that's more of a yeah and there's a lot of guys i say that's mostly appreciating the shop of another person That's not cheating. All right, number two, maintaining a dating app profile just to look. What did you write, yes or no to cheating?

Once again, if the intention is you just want to see what's out there. It's a yes or no question. I put no. What did everyone else put? I put no. Yes. That's a resounding yes. Yeah, I would say that's definitely cheating.

If you have an active dating profile just because you're not closing the door. What if it's an old profile? Well, it depends on if you're visiting. If you're visiting and looking all the time, then you're actively on it. If you just have it activated and you're never on it, then no. And by the way, I'm not doing this, but what if you're not looking? But, I mean, what if you don't have an active account, but you can look? Like you can browse.

Like window shopping. That's what I'm saying. That's cheating. If you're just looking around. Yeah, if you're like browsing what else is out there, then you're not fully committed to your own relationship. Why are you doing that? What about keeping somebody in your phone under a fake name? Yes or no?

i have some food places that i have gone to that i don't have the name of the place as michelle yeah i pretend to win i write booty call but really it's pizza isn't it it's not michelle it's a pizza place uh what's the reason for this if you're hiding to deliberately dis uh deceive your partner yeah i mean i would imagine this means a person that you want to hide for some reason, not like a repair shop or a restaurant. Once again, that act in and of itself is not cheating,

but is that deceitful? It's skeevy as hell. Definitely skeevy, yes. Definitely, what's going on here? Yeah, because why do you feel like you need to change the name? There's something you're hiding. That seems the most suspicious because that one seems like there was an extra level

of intention to hide it. So did everyone write yes? Yes. I put no. You put no for that? Yeah. You're going to get in trouble later, Johnny. No, I'm not getting in trouble.

You will, but you've put no for that. I'm not in trouble. You are going to get in trouble. No, it's not, because it's fine, because it's like, what is a name on a contact? You think your girlfriend right now would be okay with the fact that you said, I have other girls on my phone under hidden names? I don't have girls under hidden names. I thought it was just for friends and stuff, because I have,

Nicole's my best friend, but I have her under as Legend. And it's like, that's her nickname, but that's a different thing. That's not you hiding the person's name. Yeah, it's not somebody who I've, like, been with before, friends that are girls and stuff. What about deleting messages so your partner won't see them? I think that's totally cheating. The fact that you're deleting the messages, that's a resounding yes. That's one of the worst ones, yeah.

What if the messages are about not anything sexual? The fact that you have clarifying questions about every single one of these is disturbing. Justifies everything. Well, Allie, what if it's a question about something else, like... Why are you deleting them? As you know, it's dropped. I'm not deleting anything. I'm just saying.

I'm trying to... Well, clearly you are. Look at my phone right now. Just don't go in the deleted folder. No, I don't want to look at your disgusting phone. There's porn all over it. If that is true. What about deleting browsing history?

There's a good one. You didn't bring that up. I delete that. That is not cheating. Okay, well, then... Because that's just porn. We all know that. So, but why hide it, then?

Some people think porn's cheating. Some people do think that. Those people are crazy. Then you just have a regular sex drive. What about keeping in touch with an ex without telling your partner? Cheating. No. I don't think that's cheating.

Yeah, like they're a friend. Like if you can talk to them, like they're just a friend. It depends on how you ended with this person. Yeah, and I can understand not saying anything just because you don't want to complicate anything. How long has it been since you were dating? What's been the relationship since? Are they remarried with a family themselves? Did you connect with somebody that was an ex?

Not an ex, but it was someone that I had hooked up with before that reached out because they happened to be in L.A. And they just sent me a DM. Crazy, I was in you. I wish. Never made it that far. And then finally sending the heart emojis, compliments, or jokes. That, to me, bothered me more than it probably should have. That, to me, felt...

Yeah, because I thought... You're most offended on this whole list by heart emojis? Yes, I am. What is wrong with you? I don't mind cheating for all of these, but you're most upset at emojis. Black and white, not okay. Yeah, I don't like the heart emoji. I think that should be something sacred to save yourself from marriage to yourself.

Well, you're a person who does not use emojis at all. So if you were to use one, it would be like the next person you're marrying. I don't like getting the heart emojis. It's weird as hell when I get them from people. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, and I definitely never send them. Never send a heart emoji ever. It's funny that getting them, you think that you've done something wrong. Well, I feel like I have to come clean about that.

Passive-aggressive heart emoji. I said the meetings are 11.15. We can talk about this later. Allie sent me a heart emoji about the meeting time changing. I don't know what this means now. I think she wants me. I do. I do.

So that's the official list. Apparently. What is cheating? What is not? Did we solve anything? No. As usual. The debate will rage on, I guess.

Someone says, I don't even like to change the radio station off KROQ on the off chance that someone thinks I'm cheating on you guys. Well, that's smart. 562 said a guy like Johnny having a girl best friend is a red flag. That is one of those things. That's a homie right there, bro. Because she's probably into you, Johnny. You ever think about that?

That's a lot to ponder. It's not.