Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Jake's Bad Day

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. We've all had bad days before.

Seems like my reins and pores started bad. I think we determined on the show that if your day is okay by 838, then potentially you're going to have a decent day. But if things start to fall apart earlier in the morning, it's probably going to go downhill from there. Jake claims that one of the days while we were away, he had a terrible day. And I feel bad, Jake, because I know that... We couldn't be there to make fun of you. I wish we were live so we could have made fun of your terrible day But now we have to do it after the fact

And bring it all up again No, I feel bad because I know one of the things that you did This past week is one of your favorite days of the year And that's where you get into a Inner tube and you sit in a river By yourself and you float Float down with a little floating Keg of beer or something

I don't know what your whole trend I know you've talked about it You didn't see his anniversary post? No, of what? Of the float You didn't do it again this year? No, I did it. Oh.

No, I don't follow Jake. 20 years in a row of doing my float. Oh, it's been 20 years he's been doing that thing? Over. Jesus. 20 years of floating. Do you always seek a random stranger to do it with? It's not a random stranger.

I try to find someone who'll go with me, but there have been times where I've gone completely by myself, and that sucks. And how many times have you gone by yourself? Oh, most of the time. Damn. But listen, he thinks it's like...

You have to do it, right? If you don't do it. I mean, it's great when you're out there. Doing it by yourself and walking back to the car by yourself sucks. You know how Jake can't stop him? But here's the thing, Omar. You know how Jake is? This is why we say Jake's on the tism big time.

Because if I say Disneyland, he can't not say, like, mm. And if anyone mentions beans on the show, the guy yells, like, can't just say beans in conversation and move on without Jake yelling in the background. Sounds about beans. So, it's one of these things where... Something about beans. You know what it is.

You don't know what it is, because we're just trying to have a conversation, and you're yelling in the background. Jake Shack beans. I do like beans. There it is. So, when he goes on this river thing every year, it's like he has to do it. Otherwise, he'll break. Yeah.

So he goes up there and he sits in a car And he parks on the side of the road Some weird place And the one hour of it is enjoyable But everything leading up is terrible No the whole float itself is great The parking if you have to walk by yourself That sucks

The trail down sucks too Because it looks like no one used it for a whole year I've heard a lot more words sucks than good The float's great Convincing people to go with you sucks But the float's great You should get a shirt that says I've never gone tubing with Jake.

Never floated with Jake. We need two billion of those. So you did it again this year. Yeah. And that is usually your quote favorite day of the year. My favorite summertime thing is to float that river.

Right. And that's cool because it's got a sting. Yeah. And then how quickly after that moment happened did you have your worst day ever? Two days.

Two days after? Yeah. So what were the things that happened then all in one day? The first thing that happened is that I had to fly back to LA and I hate traveling. We talked about this.

I hate flying, especially to a busy airport like SeaTac. It's just a pain in my ass. The whole thing sucks. I think it literally is, right? Because you nervous crap the whole time? Yeah, I got to get there way early so my anxiety is low so I don't get all crazy nervous and use the bathroom more than I already have to do.

But you get to board the plane. You're the first one on the plane. You get on board the plane before the pilots, don't you, because of your crap card? I get on board first, yes, but I still have to go through security and all that other stuff. I still have to go through ticketing first to get my service dog registered, all that stuff. Show them you get your crap card certified. Yeah, I get crap car certified. I've seen Jake, I'm not kidding, boarding a plane before where the pilots were about to board.

They're holding up their pilot and Jake has moved them out of the way. Red carpet treatment, brown carpet. I've seen him move pilots out of the way and go, crap car coming through. And these pilots are like, what is that? It's like before the maintenance car. It's like before the safety checks. Jake wants to be the first guy on that plane. Like the last person steps off, Jake steps on.

Yeah, because that makes you feel the more time you can settle, the less likely you are to explode, right? Yeah, exactly, yeah. Right. You're sitting on the plane for so long, okay? So first thing, the day was bad because it was a travel day. Sure. And then I get in through security, I get to the bar, and I get a text from the succulent girlfriend saying that basically she's going to get back with her ex. Oh, damn.

So this was before we left. She was kind of soft breaking it off with you where she said that she didn't really want to keep traveling to see you. that if you weren't on board, she wasn't on board because she likes you too much and now she likes you so much that she's going to get back with her ex-boyfriend?

Yes. And I was just kind of bummed out because I thought I was going to be able to see her when I got back. And then I got to the airport bar and they didn't have a menu. All they had was a QR code thing

to scan when I couldn't get that to work. And then if I got that to work and I ordered a beer, we don't have that beer. And then I ordered a different beer, we don't have that beer either. So I finally got a beer.

Listen, at some point it's you is the problem because this poor guy at the bar is just trying to serve Bud Lights and Jake's going

Flava Nobbles sorry we don't have that one sir he's a Budweiser guy too he can just do a regular Budweiser but what did you try to get because I've been also

the guy finally settled on a Corona but Jake how many times have we been at bars where you've asked a lot of stupid questions about beer

whatever it's on their goddamn menu you should have it do you have pictures anyways I'm sitting there having my beer I'm on Instagram

I see that the concert I had that night got cancelled oh lack of attendance what was the reason I had personal reasons they had to reschedule

but it sucks because I was I was off the next day so I was able to like go out and party and it got cancelled oh and then I got on the plane

first before the pilots and I got the middle seat oh man those poor people sucks for those people on both sides of you they had the worst day ever and the first guy on

who sits next to me is one of those over talkers he just has to tell me a story of his whole life oh god So he talked the whole time? Yeah. Oh, that is the worst.

I didn't want to put on my music to be rude. It sucks, too, because if you even have a moment of silence, you're like, maybe it's ending. Maybe they're done. Maybe they're done talking. They brought up another story. The worst is... You start a song, you have to pause it right away because you start talking again. Or trying to read or something.

Usually you do that thing where you dismiss the talker by putting on that. You go, all right, well, it was nice chatting. And then you literally very loudly put your headphones on. Very clearly, you're putting your headphones on. And they'll just tap you and keep on going. And they're probably a nervous flyer, too. That's why they're over-talking to you. So then, Jake, you get dumped.

This is all before he even takes off. He's been dumped. They don't have his beer. He's got a middle seat. Twice they don't have his beer. And your show got canceled. Yeah, my concert got canceled. Then you get back to L.A.

And then you get to go back to your shack. And then you get to drive five. Were you at LAX? No, I got to fly into Burbank. Yeah, so it's five minutes from your house. But you got to go to your shack. Yeah, I had to walk home, though. You walked from Burbank Airport to the shack?

Uh-huh. Are you still holding the inner tube at this point, or is it gone? He's just sitting, waiting for the current to come and take him from Burbank Airport. I only traveled by tube this week. Why? Is it still inflated? Oh, Jake, I'm sorry, man. Yeah, that's rough that you had a bad day.

Well, it's cool. We got some merch inspired by you that we'll be giving out to listeners soon enough, so that should make you feel good. It doesn't. 3-2-3 is having a bad day because they had to listen to all this. That's sad. Well, there you got that going for you as well. Awesome.

Listen, feeling better about yourselves, making fun of us, that's all part of it. And Jake... There's going to be other girls and other shows and other beers. Jake did, he said he was open to this concept that Allie and Vanessa put together a dating profile for him because he thinks that now he's reached the point of being pretty much undateable. Well, he tried to get back on Facebook dating and he reached the maximum amount of swipes within like 30 minutes. Oh, yeah, that's what I also did on my flight. I can't even swipe as much as I want.

Such a sad warning to get from Facebook. You're already capped out. Facebook dating. I took the screenshot. It's a true fact. Did any of that match with you of all the people you tried to swipe? Oh, yeah. I actually got a match, and it was a terrible date.

I got a message on the GOAT line about Jake, and then we got to take a break. This is from his friend by the name of Flight Suit. Oh, uh-huh. He called to say that Jake has been hitting on, I guess he's been very flirty lately. With everybody? Yeah, listen to this message. And he's on the rebound hard, huh? I don't know what's going on, but this is, if Jake's doing this out in public, he should not be allowed out at all.

This is a message from Jake's real friend. Hey, it's Flight 2. I was just hanging out with Jake. We were walking into the Ralph's supermarket, and a lady pushing a supermarket cart full of melons walked by. And Jake just looked at her and said, hey, nice melons. And I braced for impact. I thought it was going to be easy. I mean, Jay, this poor woman's just trying to buy some produce, and Jake's sitting there yelling.

It was perfect. It was a perfect setup. She was in a sports bra. She's walking right at me with two watermelons in her cart. I couldn't help it. It was a great setup. I braced for impact. I thought I was going to be in trouble, but then she smiled and said, thank you.

Can you imagine that? Why, thank you. Because it was funny. And kept walking. Oh, and kept walking. There's the Jake effect for you. Yeah, give her a shirt. We'll be right back.

We have more show to get to after this on Cue.