Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Jake's Birthday & Klein Brings A Leaf Blower! (FULL SHOW 8/4)

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

Happy Birthday Jake! To celebrate, he'll be having a birthday party at the DMV as part of his punishment for losing the driving test last week. He'll be at the Glendale DMV with a birthday hat on from 1-5pm if you'd like to stop by and say hi! Klein brought two items into the studio today, a lighter and a leaf blower. Neither of them made anyone happy. The lighter was a birthday present for Jake because it said 'I'm a big dill' on it. He also brought in his brand new leafblower and tried it out in the studio. It sent Ally into a frenzy as dust and hair blew all over the studio. We even listened to audio of him using it at home and it went equally well with his family. We also talked about the most stressful day of the year during Clickbait, we heard your Funner Summer Fail stories (shoutout to Jess who peed on a trampoline) and got another exit interview from one of Jake's Bumble first dates.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot snake, did you see that? Viva Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7.

KROQ FM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Hey, good morning. Welcome to it. It's KROQ.

We're Klein Alley Show. Today is Tuesday, August 4th. My name's Klein. There's Allie. Morning. That is the birthday boy over there, Jake the Nerd. You got DJ Omar Khan, the audio sniper, although Jake claims he's the original audio sniper, but that's just one of those footnotes of the show that you probably don't care so much about.

And then, of course, you got producer Vanessa and Postmaster Johnny taking them calls at 800-520-1067. Ginger Justin in there making sure that we are streaming live on YouTube right now, so you can go ahead and watch us unfold the disaster before your very eyes. Today's a good day to watch the show. Allie's getting bigger by the day, so if you've been praying for the return of Fat Allie, all you've got to do is watch the stream, and you will see her. She's actually now in 4K. I'm wearing one of my large Costco bras today.

Costco bra day. Allie's getting bigger in all the right places. Do we have a number of weight gain, an actual number? I hit the 10 mark. Over 10 pounds? Mm-hmm, over 10 pounds. But I'm wondering, I would like to weigh each boob and see how much weight I've gained just in each boob.

We can make that happen, probably. We could borrow one of those produce scales from Ralph's or something and bring it in here. Or maybe Allie goes over to Ralph's and does it. Those really giant ones that are like a bucket? Yeah, for melons. That's what they're for. Why don't you go over to Ralph's during the show today? You can place them in the little basket.

No, but I don't think I can put a bare boob in there. I feel like I would get kicked out. Also, you need it to weigh it before. I can do that at a pack and save, but not at a Ralph's. Yeah, you go to a UPS store and do it. They got those scales. You can find a drug dealer. It's got a nice little digi there.

I can go to Yogurtland. Oh, yeah. What are we doing? Yeah, go to Yogurtland and, you know, do a way with a cup. Don't make it look conspicuous. Put the cup of ice, you know, the yogurt on there. Here's this cup and this cup. And then also put your breast on there.

And then be like, oh, I actually only need the yogurt. And then you can do some math and figure it out. Or I can go to the deli counter. So many options. So many great scales I can use. Why are you sitting here like a loser? Can I get a half pound of chicken breast and also weigh these breasts? Yeah, you think that's where Allie believes most of her weight gain is gone.

At least right now, which is one of those cruel tricks. Boobs, ass, and stomach sounds like a monster hit waiting to be written. So get to writing. Let's make that song happen. A couple of messages waiting for us on the GOAT line this morning. It is Jake's birthday, so today is only going to be positive calls about Jake. We don't want there to be any issues where Jake gets upset about things. Last week, he had a mantrum.

He did, but maybe it's just part of getting older. We don't want that to happen on Jake's big birthday, so let's go ahead and start with a positive phone call. Yeah, my name is Jeff Costellas. I'm actually the manager of the Violent Femmes, and I just wanted to call and say, please don't ever send Jake to introduce us ever again. Okay, hold on. That's not a nice call.

I'm not playing that call. It's not really the manager. Do you think he'd call the goat line? Is that the manager of the Violent Femmes, Jake? I mean, that's his name, but I sent you an actual screenshot of his actual message. I can't believe that. We worked hard for 45 years just to get an intro that crappy. You had one job, Jake, and you screwed it up.

I mean, how dumb are you? Nobody cares about your stupid band, bro. Are you serious, bro? Get out of here, man. I feel like that's not the real manager. That's not the real manager. That's not fair. Why don't we have some positive?

Are there any positive, Jake? Yeah, there is. I'll play a positive. You can also read the text that the real manager actually sent us. I'm going to. There we go. I got it. This is a.

That'd be nice. Here we go. This is a live, a new message from Jake about Jake Thunert on his birthday. Yeah, I'm just calling to say, Jake, you suck. Oh, come on. You suck. Oh, what's the matter, Jake? Are you going to cry?

Are you going to cry to your mommy? You suck, bro. No, you suck at everything. You suck at life. Is this the manager again? He is bored. He's a very busy manager. It's K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show.

Happy birthday, Jake. We love you. You know that. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. It is Jake's birthday. That's not the only thing we'll talk about today, though. I did find a positive message. I just want to play that to clear the air from all those mean messages we heard a moment ago.

Hey, goat line. I'm getting stoned at this time because it's 420 and I just wanted you to know. one of the greatest parts of your show fine Ali I love you both oh man Jake this man is the greatest like god damn I had better things to say

about him or actually I had thoughts but I got drunk bar buddy Bob says bye that's bar buddy Bob that's Jake's good friend from the bar he goes to calling to defend Jake saying he's a good man Jake's going to be celebrating his birthday today

at the DMV in Glendale. Yeah, it's going to be a big party. Please come by. We don't know if we'll be allowed in because we're not there for any official business, but Jake did lose a bet. He's officially the worst driver on the show, and as a result, he will be forced to spend

a good chunk of his birthday at the DMV doing nothing at all other than sitting at the DMV. Yeah, he kind of deserves it after driving barefoot and then kind of jutting into oncoming traffic and making the driving... There's nothing wrong with that turn, goddammit. So Jake lost the written test and then lost the road test,

and it just so happens that his birthday happened to be creeping up, so we will be... So we lost that, too. So Jake will be there today. And I know it's a weird place. I don't think in the history of the DMV anyone has ever chosen to have a birthday party or go there for any reason unless they had to, had to, had to be there. Yeah. And he's going to be there in the corner with this little, we got him a hat.

Yep. He's going to have a hat and a balloon. Look at that thing. Jake's going to be sitting wearing that at the DMV today. He's got a little hat. I think he has a sash, too. If you want to stop by after, well, after 1 p.m., I know you had to try to squeeze your nap in today. No, no, no.

I can't. I don't have time for a nap. Oh, man. That sucks. I have to nap at the DMV. All right, so Jake will be there at the DMV. I'm sure a lot of people will be right there with you. In Glendale today.

The DMV is not aware we're doing this. They would probably not allow it, but Jake will be there sitting in a chair. I wanted to kind of get there early and decorate, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that either. Yeah, and I also don't know if anything there that is festive or fun is even allowed. They like that place to be pretty drab. Right. Anything that distracts from the boring moths. What is that, a streamer?

Get that down immediately. Fun? Get it out of here. Anyway, today at the Glendale DMV, you can find Jake the Nerd sitting there. If you'd like to stop by and wish him well. I think Klein's going to bring him his pizza, too. I'm going to bring him his annual birthday pizza. Oh, awesome.

He's going to see a grown man eating a whole pizza. That's cooler. Other people said they wanted to figure out exactly where he would be so they could stop by and give Jake some birthday love. But this is not an official show appearance, nor is it a sponsored KROQ event. But it is happening today at the good old DMV in Glendale because it's the one that's most convenient to Jake. and he will be there today for his birthday. So there you go. You got that taken care of.

Other things on the show today you actually may care about include, but not limited to, Ali, your funner summer fails. We've been pushing this funner summer agenda. A lot of people, like me getting my nose shattered in the pool over the weekend or the jet ski guy that passed out or trying to have fun, but it's backfiring big time. Yeah, it results in almost dying for a lot of people. Didn't you meet somebody else who lost a finger?

Oh, man, lost an eye. Oh, yeah, lost an eye. Firework to the eye this year. So if you were attempting to have a funner summer, but it backfired on you, we'd love to hear your stories a little bit later as we talk about some of your funner summer fails. We will get to that. Of course, we've got another one of the exit interviews from a first date that took place. I'm excited about that. And, of course, the thing that I think we're all waiting for, Allie, I have brought in the leaf blower.

I don't know why you brought that in here. I do not want you to turn it on. Oh, it is going to bother you. Are you having nausea this morning or morning sickness? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll blow that right out of the studio because this thing is powerful. It's just going to give me so much congestion.

There's so much dust and grossness in here. There won't be. Let it lie. I'm going to blow it all away. No, you're not. You can't get it out of here. It's all going to be in this room. The leaf blower is now an indoor and an outdoor.

No, it's not. Every leaf blower is outdoor. I did so much with it inside my house yesterday after officially charging it up. It is going to replace. I will never bend over to pick up anything ever again. It is wild. If you blow it hard enough into the wall, it shoots up and I can catch it out of the air. All things.

Laundry. I did this with papers on the floor. Anything at all that was on the floor. I'd just take the leaf blower, blow it against a wall or a corner. Shoots up in the sky and I grab it out of the sky. At any moment that you have that is calm in your home, you feel the need to disrupt it. I mean, I'm sure there's just children screaming, dog barking, wife nagging. It was chaos, I imagine.

You would think that, Allie, but you'd be very wrong because I have audio to prove just how successful it's been inside of my house and how I'm a huge hit with my kids after getting the leaf blower. I don't want you to start a gardener business. Why? Okay, so she was not a big fan right away,

but I think she's turned around. So we'll get into a new round of Client's Kids Hate Him, the leaf blower edition. That's coming up later this morning as well. If you'd like Allie's money, call now and claim it. 800-520-1067. That's right, 800-520-1067. Someone said that everyone at the DMV for their birthday

is going to be 16, trying to get their license. That's true. I was there on my 16th birthday. And then it will be Jake, so that'll be interesting as well. Well, you have a child here? No, no, just me. Grown-ass man. So if you'd like to call and play and take some of Allie's cash, call now and claim it. 800-520-1067. Allie Knows the News

is next after this quick break on KROQ. $100 is not a lot these days, but it's better than nothing, and it is Allie's money, and over the years she's paid out thousands of dollars to people just like you for proving you know more about the news than she does, and all she does every day is sit back there and put together the add news and retain about 10 of it and hope for the best no short-term memory no

ability to retain anything that is useful which is why you're so easy to beat her and sometimes people say i don't understand ali didn't get any of these questions right and then 25 minutes later when she did the news she reported on that exact same story her brain is broken guys what do you want us to say but also i am looking up the news throughout the show so there might be something i just haven't read yet so my theory is you can gamble on anything which i know is now a popular opinion, but at the time it was revolutionary and we say good morning to Charlotte right now in West Covina, a chance to take Allie's money this morning.

Good morning, Charlotte. Good morning. Hopefully you are smart, or at least smarter than Allie, not too difficult these days, and all you have to do is answer questions about the news. She's going to leave. This is the last winner of the dumb-off, ladies and gentlemen. Allie has won the dumb-off a few years, and now she's leaving the K-Rock studios, so as soon as

she's out of here and sequestered, you get to go first. Then she'll be back in here. We'll score it together at the end. Here we go. Allie knows the news. Charlotte, you are on the clock. Question number one. Traffic may suck a little more than usual in parts of Southern California today because who is coming to town?

Oh, God. Trump? Question number two. Starbucks has declared a big announcement, and they say that August 28th will officially be the day that what starts at Starbucks locations? Uh, the pumpkin spice latte. We go to question number three. 95 cent sandwiches seems like a pretty good deal, and that's exactly what was happening to celebrate the 95th anniversary, 95th birthday of what local eatery, what local restaurant in Southern California?

Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr. We go to question number four. L.A. City Hall was closed for what reason? Oh, uh, infestation. Rats. Oh, man. When in doubt, rats is a good guess.

Speaking of animals, we go to your final question. We've been updating everyone on our favorite big bear, bald eagle, Jackie. What is the current health update from big bear, bald eagle, Jackie? It's been changing by the day. Oh, yeah. She had like a setback. Setback. There's something going on with her.

Something not good. The last report we had was that things were going in the right direction and that she was being moved out of the ICU. so you believe now that there's been a setback in everyone's favorite lady bald eagle. All right, bring Allie in. We'll score together, see how you did. Of course, $100 could be yours. You did answer all the questions.

I give you credit for that. Did you answer them accurately? We will find out in a moment. Allie's back in. Sun's out, guns out. She's sleeveless today. This is like a Postmaster Johnny shirt. Yes.

Here we go. Question number one. Traffic may suck a little more than usual in parts of Southern California today because who is coming to town? Uh-oh. Not the president. I guess that's my guess.

Okay. Do you have a mouthful of food as you're answering these questions? I only had one more bite before I walked in. Jesus Christ. I didn't realize you were going to be done so fast. Fat Alley is getting here faster than we thought. Guys, make space for Fat Alley. She could be here any moment now.

That is the correct answer. She said Trump. You said Trump. President Trump is coming to town today. What's he doing here? Probably going to say some... He loves the governor. They're going to have lunch.

They're going to have lunch together. Probably play a round of golf. Talk about how much they have in common. I think he's speaking at his golf course in Rancho Palos Verdes. We'll go to question number two. Tied up 1-1. Question two. Starbucks says that August 28th will be the day that what happens?

They've already declared August 28th should be a national holiday because of what? It's got to be the PSL. She also said the return of the pumpkin spice. Guys, pumpkin spice season. We're not waiting until September or October. No, why not? I don't think we have for years. Late August.

And that is the date that all you basic bitches can come out of hibernation. And Vanessa loves. Remember when Vanessa ordered that pumpkin spice? They come out of their caves. They all come out. Pumpkin spice is so trash, man. It is. I know.

Get out of my Uggs. I'm going out into the world on August 28th. That is the correct answer. 2-2. Tie as we go to question number three. 95 cent sandwiches. Pretty good deal these days. That's exactly what happened to celebrate the 95th birthday of what local eatery slash restaurant?

I know Irv's was doing something for their anniversary, but I don't think it was 95. Is it Cantor's? She said Carl's Jr., but Allie is absolutely correct. 95-cent pastrami sandwiches at Cantor's on Fairfax. You could use a pastrami sandwich. To celebrate 95 years. I love when these places have anniversaries, and we benefit because things go cheap. All right, Allie goes up one with two questions left.

Come on, Charlotte. Question number four. L.A. City Hall was closed for what reason? Hmm. Plumbing? Toilets? Exploding? Plots?

Exploding toilets. She said rats. Both of you are dancing around the right answer, but technically the answer is that L.A. City Hall closed amid hazardous materials investigation. Could be both. So it could have been either, but it was actually that they had, you know, quote, things that fell under the category of hazardous materials that were not vermin, so I cannot accept rats

and they were not because of the toilet so Allie gets no point and we go to this final question it's the exciting daily health updates about everyone's favorite

big bald eagle Jackie what is the current update that we've received about the health of Jackie the bald eagle she's not doing so hot

more specific she had a setback I think is what they said specifically that is exactly how Charlotte answered the question that is the answer

I was looking for a setback she got some blood work back that was not so bueno know and now they're concerned that something they thought was going the right direction is now going in the wrong direction and uh thoughts and prayers with jackie the big bald eagle and charlotte gets another point and with a final score ali you still beat her by one but charlotte you played the game beautifully and uh we have no money for you now but we'd love to send you

some limited edition klein ali show merch which is not as good as a hundred dollars but it will be yours regardless so hold on and claim whatever it is you want in fact you could be the proud owner of an I've Never Been Intimate With Jake shirt on his birthday. If you'd like to win that, it's yours. Oh, thank you. I'll take it. You don't need to. You don't have to have it. Just want to confirm you've never been intimate with Jake.

Not that I know of. Would you like to? I think you would know. Um, oh. Is he rich? No. He lives in his personality. No, you're not rich in that either.

Yeah. Hold on one second. You're rich in ants and crickets. Yeah, that's right. That's something. This is Julia Wolf. It's called In My Room, and it's on Tarot Cube. Today's the day, even though it's Jake's birthday, that I emerge as a man.

And I'm so thrilled that I was able to come in here with my new leaf blower. I don't know what I've been waiting for my whole life. There's a couple things I've always said I was going to get. One of them is a deli-style meat slicer. I've always thought that would be a cool thing to have on my counter so that I could just slice meat like they do. That seems more like you than this. I know, and I probably should have gone with that. I've been talking about that meat slicer for, God, over a decade.

And I don't know why I've never done it. I love hearing about it every time. How much are those things? They're not too bad, right? $300 for them? I think it's less about the cost of it and more about the upkeep of it. I think there's a lot of... Cleaning, sharpening.

You've got to sharpen those blades a lot. And then you've also got to buy... You no longer are buying slices of meat at the deli. You're now buying the giant round... Ham hocks. Dude, that's you, though, all the way. I know. They have them at Costco.

They have those big, giant turkey loafs. I put it in my cart every time and say, if only I had a slicer, I would buy this. And then I'd put it back. I've bought them and sliced them by hand. Loser talk. That's loser talk. You've got to get one of the real ones. And I'm talking about the ones you see at Jersey Mike's, those nice-looking ones.

That blade is constantly spinning. Looks like it's so smooth, too. Feels good. I would just sit there and slice all day, slice and eat. But whatever, I didn't. I've wasted that moment and instead I went with leaf blower which I feel like I needed to do for three reasons primarily my yard looks pretty much every day now like it is a complete disaster zone why just because leaves falling well I think because of how hot it's been every leaf has

just fallen but also the spider I feel like I'm already people I think people already think I've decorated for Halloween because of the out the outside looks like it's dead leaves everywhere and just cobwebs yeah and well in my backyard it's like here's bird poop and dead bees and just you know leaves from other people's yards fruit that's fallen down like i think every plant is struggling to survive right now two neighbors and they both have blown blow and go services and i feel like i'm just i'm like just constantly having their leaves blown back and forth across my and they just i have no weapon i have no weapon in this fight i'm nothing i'm just a I'm just a man.

I don't even have a rake. I got nothing. So I got the leaf blower, and I contemplated it. First, I made a mistake. I went with a Makita. Wait, you don't have any other gardening tools, like a shovel, one of those little pansy gardening bags, you know, anything like that? You don't have a pansy gardening bag? I don't.

Come on, pansy gardening bag. I have like a— So the only thing you own as like a tool tool is this leaf blower. No, I have a hammer. I have a hammer. Oh, you have a hammer. Do you have a toolbox? I do have a toolbox, but most of what's in the toolbox is like a bunch of random...

It's just a QR code for TaskRabbit. It's a bunch of random nails and stuff and, you know, like lighter fluid. I'm sure it's well organized. Lighter fluid? It's chaos. Who said nails and lighter fluid? Well, for a while, I hid... That's how you hang a picture.

I'm not very handy. But now that I've got the leaf blower talking to change, and I'll turn it on right now, But yesterday, you know, it seems like you have to work your way up to a leaf blower as I borrowed one and I was pretty good at it. And I think there is a skill to it. The one I borrowed was a much better one than the one I ended up getting, because this one, even though it has 650 horsepower or whatever it's got, I don't know how they rate it. It I've made a bit more of a mess than I've solved at this point because I didn't have a good plan going into it. Now, are you getting the, like, you know, like moths to a flame, the men in the neighborhood? No, not yet. Could be going over and being like, oh, it's a nice leaf blower.

I was hoping. Did you get that? Is that a Makita? I was hoping they would. I did have a gardening service that kind of gave me a stink eye as they drove by me in their pickup truck. Competition. I think they thought I was, like, coming in on their turf, which is, by the way, turf. It's AstroTurf.

So I did want you to know that part of the reason I got this was not just for outside upkeep, but for inside the house. I realized a lot of things I could do with the leaf blower. I spend most of my day picking up socks, picking up kids' clothing that's left behind. The dog still shreds toilet paper. It's like his favorite thing to do. And I'm constantly – So you're just blowing it around like confetti throughout the house? Yeah, and it's a lot.

It's fun. And by the way – But you're just blowing it around. You're not actually picking it up. You're just doing what the gardeners do, but you're doing it inside. Yes. Blowing it from room to room. Yes, but I blow it all into one room, and then it's that room's problem.

And you shut the door. And the other thing that I've done is if you blow enough of the stuff against the wall quick enough, you can catch it in the air like you're in one of those money machines where it's got the dollar bills. You don't have a lot of free time. What are you doing with your time here? This is what you're choosing to do?

Blow socks around? Your leaf blower only has one horsepower. One? Hold on. It's got 650 CFMs on it. Yeah, that's what it says here. And it's .73 horsepower. Please don't point that at me.

Stop it! Stop it! No! How's that feel? How's that feel? Not good! Is that cooling you off at all? No, no, it's not.

Is that the low setting? That was the low. Yeah. You want me to crank it a little bit? Yeah, crank it. I don't want to get blown by you. Leave me alone. The point of this is...

I never asked for this. There's a lot more you can do with this than just, you know, as... You know, it says on the thing, four leaves and gardening stuff. Inside the house, I'm going to tell you yesterday, I walked in, my wife was very upset about the noise. She hated it. This thing was described as pleasantly quiet. Haven't you said yourself this is one of the most annoying sounds a person can hear?

It's annoying because you're not doing it. This is my point. If you're the one doing it, it's not annoying. But if you're the one annoying everyone, it's fun. Yeah, if you hear it, it's annoying. If you're the one holding it, all of a sudden now, and I'm sick and tired. I hear leaf blower noise constantly. It's like the official soundtrack of Southern California.

It's Sublime and Leaf Blowers. Then let me hold it. No. Because then it's annoying again. Then it's annoying. No, no girls allowed. Yeah, but I will say that yesterday as I was blowing socks around my house, my wife was on the toilet and she was mad at me.

She goes, what is that noise? I said, it's my new leaf blower. And she goes, oh God, are you serious? And I said, yeah. And she goes, that's so stupid. Return it. And then she was in the bathroom. I walked in on her.

She was standing up to wipe. And guess what I did? Wiped for her. What? Blew her dry. I don't know. Did it do the job? Low setting.

Yeah. Oh, my. Oh, my. You hear that? You hear that, Omar? I mean, yeah, it's pretty impressive. 0.73 horsepower. Real job, you got to blow dry this.

It'll take a while down here. I bet she's hardwood floors on the rainforest, baby. I'm throwing all the stuff off the... I don't... Hey! Stop! Stop! See what it's doing?

It's getting all the stuff. I see. I know how a leaf blower works. Why are you showing me this? I'm showing you it's getting all the stuff off. You're probably not even good at this. No, not yet. Does your backyard even look even better?

No, I'm glad you asked. I asked my wife that question yesterday. This is what she said after I started my leaf blowing yesterday. Is this thing going to run out of battery soon? It's almost dead. Okay, thank God. This is what she said. I don't want you to shut up.

Oh, that's my kid. She's not a fan. This is my wife's review. So you don't think I did a good job? No. I don't think someone threw up on our porch now. Okay, now I didn't plan it well. I don't think you realize how much dust is flying around this room already.

That's asbestos, Allie. That's the good stuff. Why are you doing that? I'm pregnant. I know, but this is going to help strengthen everything. And it's going to help clear this place out. Does it say that on the box? I'm going to show you how strong this is.

If Jake were to come in here and stand by me, I could blow him with this thing. And the smell, his smell would waft over to you at 600 miles an hour. That's good stuff. I don't want to do any of these experiments. This is 150 miles an hour. My wife said already I've made the front porch look like someone threw up all over it. That was only with one day of use. Yeah, those leaves were up in the gutters.

Yeah, you think you can do a gardener? Yeah. Well, nobody's going to tell you. I did it backwards. I cleaned down here, then I went upstairs, and I made a mess down here. I have to do it differently tomorrow. But we'll be doing it every day.

It was so satisfying blowing all those leaves out of the gutter, just so many leaves. I don't think those gutters have ever been cleaned. And I blew them all out, and then they went all over my yard. And then you walked away? Yeah. At that point, I felt like my job was done, and I got bored with this already.

So I moved on. This was my kid not happy that I'm going to take up this new identity. I don't want you to start a gardener business. Why? Because I don't. Why? Did you see my leaf blower? No, I don't want you to.

So turn it off. I can't do it. What? What? I don't want you to start one. Why? Just don't. You already have a job.

You don't need a gardener business. Don't start one. He has a job in radio. He does need a gardener business. You don't understand the state of radio right now? This is called my backup plan, kid. Get ready. You'd think I already have a job.

Why can't I garden, too? I don't want you to. Please. Dad, you mean our house or other people? Everyone who wants me to do it. No, I don't want you to, Dad. She's very upset about it. I'm so traumatized.

She just thinks it's so embarrassing and humiliating that I'm walking around just blowing everything. And by the way, this thing is, I don't know if it's not strong enough or cobwebs are too strong doesn't work on complex. You know what you should do, Klein? If you're really into this, you should go shirtless and do an OnlyFans, like a leaf blower OnlyFans, where you're, like, hot around the house blowing stuff. I'm not doing it for the glory, Allie. I'm doing it to...

Annoy everyone? To annoy everyone. I would think it'd be really funny if you drove your kids to school and, like, walked up to school with that thing with them. I would do it. Or get in there. Get in the steps. You know, the last few years I've gone to that clean up the school day, they don't give me any of these power tools. They don't give me the good stuff like this. Yes, because they look at you and go,

you can't handle this. You don't know how to use it properly last two years i showed up to volunteer to help clean up and they had things like this i never got they gave me windex and a and a sponge like a lady did you bring your lighter fluid and nails last time i got a box of lighter fluid and nails i mean you guys need me to hang anything why is she so upset do you think it's cool that i have a gardening business yeah do you like my leaf bar sure they're going somewhere tonight yeah anyone who wants me to come do their yard i'll do it for free why for free because it's fun and you could bring me And I'm on to doing it again, Allie.

Now you're doing her photo shoot. So whenever anyone needs any of this, I'll be bored with this soon enough. But for right now, consider me at your disposal. I want it gone. Oh, you want it gone too? I don't like it, and I don't want it in here. Nice kid. Unless it's for a fun photo shoot.

Vanessa, I'm going to clean the back office later. I know there's a lot of trash back there. I'm going to take care of all of it. No, I feel like the dust would fly everywhere. Oh, you're right. That's what's still going on in this studio. The dust is going to fly everywhere, but then guess what happens? We inhale it, and it's gone.

No. We both have horrible allergies. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Well, you don't understand it, but I couldn't expect that from you because it's the man tool. Yeah, baby. Thank you, Jake. You know, I have a leaf blower, too, I can bring in. We can do dueling leaf blowers.

Oh, hell yeah. Mine has to be plugged in. Oh, no. The audience will love that. We will take a quick break. When we're back in a moment, the show will continue and be less stupid than this, believe it or not. I'm going to see if I can send us on a break with this thing. Stop!

I'm going to blow the button. No, you're not going to blow a button! This thing is going to break! What are you... It works! It works! All right, we'll do some news now on KROQ. Then we'll get into a brand new hour and an opportunity for you to share with us some of your fun or summer fails. The goal was to have more fun, to do fun things, and they somehow backfired.

It's happened to all of us already this summer. Perhaps it happened to you as well. We'll make it up to one of you by sending you to something happening at the Hollywood Bowl. And if you like the bowl, we've got some Jimmy Eat World tickets coming up later this morning in about an hour. So you can go there and be a part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. See them once here and potentially again on the road at Shaky Knees in Atlanta, where they'll be joined by many other greats like Violet Grohl and Turnstile will be there and others. So hopefully you are listening and ready to win your tickets coming up later this morning.

But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. All right, here is your latest Jackie the Bald Eagle update. Unfortunately, she has taken a turn for the worse. Her packed cell volume, or PCV, has dropped to 13%, which means her anemia has gotten worse since the last update. They said she's not getting better and they don't know why, and recovery could last weeks or months. This is all because she got into a fight with those other eagles. No, she was sick before that.

They think that that's why she was targeted, because they could smell a weaker eagle. So they're like, hey, this one's on the outs, let's get her. This is like a bullying thing, kind of? Yeah, basically. They bullied her because she was weak. More like a girl bitch fight, because I think that both of them were girls. Because one of the girls that bitch-slopped her is now hanging out with Shadow in the tree. It's wild to think about the fact that this is like animal stuff at its core,

But really, it is so reflective of what happens with humans. Yeah, we are all animals. And they also posted a couple of new photos of Jackie. And girl, it's just she looks so haggard. That's Jackie? That's Jackie. And that was you. Oh, man.

I'm like, my God. Can we not like run a comb through her hair and take a flattering picture of her? Like this poor girl is being nationally broadcast looking the worst she's ever looked. No wonder Shadows now with that other eagle. Jolene, by the way. Jolene. What a hot name. That's the other one.

Jolene. I've never seen that song about her in everything. Yeah, exactly. She's the nest wrecker. Jolene, huh? Coming in there. Wow. Not as many songs about Jackie.

Dolly Parton was right. Crazy. She predicted. She's like the Simpsons. Yeah. Crazy. It's unbelievable. When the national anthem goes well, it's not news.

Nobody cares about a successful national anthem performance. But when it goes badly, we are all over it. And this is quite possibly one of the worst national anthems ever performed. Worse than Fergie. Worse than even that drunk country singer, I think. So let's gather around and honor America by tearing down this woman's biggest moment. This was at a women's national pro baseball game. So not exactly the big times necessarily, but this is R&B singer Martha Reeves and her performance with the Vandellas.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight. She sounds like Jackie Lux. I mean. It's not good. Is that the worst version? Oh, I think it's pretty bad.

Now I wish you had the leaf blower to round this woman out. They've taken her away. It's been confiscated. These ladies just like join in sometimes, but then not other times. She's already spoken about this. Do you think that's worse than this woman's? This is Allie singing the national anthem. I was at the Cocaine Bear premiere.

Cocaine Bear, everybody. Yeah, Cocaine Bear. she said the field conditions were wet and windy and without stage monitors she was not able to hear herself so it wasn't the performance she had hoped for but she's glad unfortunately we were all able to hear it and she said she's grateful to have been there in support of these remarkable athletes regardless but i will say i did sing the national anthem at an la galaxy game and I could not hear myself and I don't think I really did that great either

because if you can't hear yourself, it's really tough and if they don't have a good monitor there where you can hear yourself singing it because it's not an easy song to sing, it can go bad pretty quickly. I mean, this is... Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free And the home of the brave She just keeps going. I remember when Allie was asked to sing the National Anthem at the L.A. Galaxy game, and the best part about that was when they brought you out to do that. Hello, L.A. Galaxy fans. Please rise for your National Anthem. You may know tonight's performer from the concession stand where she filled her pockets with free ketchup and mustard packets.

She also has a peeping Tom who will watch you in your own home. So close your curtains and open your ears for this random white lady. That was great. Here's a story about a random white man. This is an idea for a gender reveal. A naked man jumped off a bridge with a homemade parachute and it didn't go well for him, though he is still alive. Thankfully, this comes after that couple jumped, climbed to the top of the Empire State Building. Those other guys that jumped off the Space Needle in Seattle.

This guy did it a lot worse. He jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge. He climbed up to the top of it, then got naked and then jumped into the water. I think he had the parachute, but again, it was homemade and he just kind of plummeted into the water. He's in the hospital now. It was a 278 foot drop, but apparently he had some flags with him because he's an activist against Kazakhstan. He just hates it. It's just such an interesting thing for him to hate so much.

And his roommate said that he had talked about doing this, saying, I want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge on my birthday. So he did it on his birthday. What a way to celebrate. Jake, go ahead. Your move, buddy. I know. Your move. That's what everybody wants.

Get into a brand new hour of the show right now. This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah. Good morning. Welcome to your KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming back for more.

Perhaps you've just discovered the show or you're forced to listen because one of your friends said it's decent and you don't believe him just yet. That's okay. Three-day challenge. That's all we ask. Three days. Make up your mind. And either we say goodbye forever or perhaps you have found some new people

you're stuck with in the mornings. I'm K-Rock. I'm Clyde. And there's Allie. Morning. That is DJ Omar Khan, the audio sniper. Birthday boy, Jake the Nerd. Kaboom.

A lot of people sending well wishes to Jake. He is going to be celebrating his birthday at the DMV in Glendale today where he'll be forced to go and sit in a chair for four or five hours because he is the worst driver on the show, not actually accomplishing any real business at the DMV. Just go in there to sit. Yeah, you don't have anything you have to do there, right, Jake? Nah.

You don't have to renew your, um, okay, Tesla? He's not allowed. Or, uh, okay, Lexus plates? He can't do it anyway. That's the deal. Yeah, he can't do anything. Nothing can be accomplished there because then it would be a real trip to the DMV. I do want to get a number and then just go up and say hi.

Yeah, and say it's your birthday. Yeah. Maybe they could sing to you through the loudspeaker system at the DMV. That'd be great. Anyway, all the details are up on our Instagram, Clown Alley Show, so you can go there. Here's some of my messages for Jay. He's the original audio sniper, the arbiter of audio, the ace. He is an enthusiast of tool, magic the gathering, purple, odds and end collectibles, records, concerts, T-shirts.

And let us not forget, a mustard sandwich enthusiast. let's turn up the radio and everyone join me in wishing jake a very very happy birthday you know i asked our boss if we could do some tool tuesday for jake's birthday and the response was very simple it was just no yeah i don't think anyone would want that but happy birthday jake happy happy birthday for you uh this hour on the show fun or summer fails you tried to have fun we said let's make it a mission to bring fun back fun scores are at all-time low we said let's change that around this summer, forcing fun upon each other, and we will hear your stories of funner summer fails.

In a moment, though, we will do some clickbaiting on these parts. It's KROQ, the Internet's Biggest Riddles and Mysteries Solved Once and For All, and we'll figure out what is the most stressful day of the year. There's science behind it, and we will get to that next on KROQ. We've got clickbait upon us as we solve the Internet's Biggest Riddles, Internet Design, Two Reasons and Two Reasons Only, clickbait, masturbate, and we'll do one of them on the air. So here we go.

This is an interesting question. I never really thought about this. But I guess there is a day in the year, every year, where we are at our most stressed out. And I used to think it had something to do with daylight saving, changing up the clocks or something. But apparently I was wrong, and here's a tease. A fitness tracking device company has detected the most stressful day across America over the past year. According to data by Aura, the folks behind the Aura ring. They have information now, and it was collected by everyone who wears the Oura ring,

and they have determined that this is the day that people were the most stressed out. So you could be part of this study. I could be. I guess they are keeping track of all of my information as well. And the question is, what was the most stressful day or is the most stressful day of the year? Is it a holiday? Is it just a random Tuesday like today, perhaps? Right.

It's like it or it could be the longest day of the year just because it's you got the most daylight. You got the most pressure to do stuff. I'm going to say Christmas Eve because that's the day where you're making all the last minute changes, plans. You're getting last minute shopping done. You're racing to get it all done. All the people who are hosting have to finish cooking stuff, prepping stuff. I think that that's probably one of the most stressful days of the year. Well, he's locked in on Christmas Eve as the most stressful day of the year for Americans.

DJ Omar Khan, any thoughts? You know, I'm going to go with Thanksgiving because everybody is trying to make turkey taste good and it's impossible. So I think people are stressed out about, you know, putting on a nice dinner. Also, perhaps you're watching your bets fall apart on those Thanksgiving football games. Oh, I didn't think of that. You have a bunch of family you hate. Right, family you hate. Having to dump out.

Oh, God, I hope I don't clog this toilet. It's an interesting one. I'm looking forward to it. A lot of stress right there on Thanksgiving. I'm so looking forward to it. I didn't think about that. Jake? It's a challenge.

What is the most stressful day of the year, do you think? We're about to find out in a moment. I'm going to guess it's probably whatever day you come back from winter break. So usually like January 2nd. After you've had like two weeks off or a week off and you have to come back to work. That's a good guess. All right, well, here's the answer. I hate to inform you guys that you're all very wrong.

Say Saturday, May 16th. What? Saturday, May 16th. What does that have to do with anything? I, for whatever reason, listen to this. This year was the most stressful. More than 184 minutes of stress were recorded. That's, I guess, on a per-person basis.

184 stressful minutes. What happened on May 16th of this past year? I had nothing. Of course you had nothing. Yeah, we know your calendar had nothing. Your calendar's wide open. The whole day. May 16th, I believe, is Armed Forces Day.

I don't know if that's enough to move the number. Back in 1980, it was the day that Magic Johnson, I believe, debuted as a rookie on the Lakers. Wait, does the most stressful day, does it change from year to year, or is this? They said this past year, the most stressful day was May 16th. So what the heck was happening in the world on May 16th? It says that across the country, there were different things going on. And there was a severe weather storm in the Midwest and a massive transit strike on the East Coast. So maybe that had something to do with it.

Like just collectively, there were all these stressful events going on just on that one day. But it was a Saturday. And I would think stress levels would be lower on a Saturday in general. So I'm surprised that this would be the day that was considered to be the most stressful day we've had this past year, especially with all the other things going on. There have been plenty of stressful days, storm days, and stuff like that. But if you're keeping track and you're wondering why you were so freaked the F out on May 16th, now you know. You're not alone.

They did go on to say there were other stressful days, and some of them were the ones you guys mentioned. Other stressful days were Independence Day of last year, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving, and New Year's Eve. June 13th was also another notable day because that was when the NBA Finals Game 5 was held. You made a good point about the bets. So a lot of stress being monitored. Or just perhaps these O-rings don't do anything and we have no idea. They're just guessing at random. It's just a spike.

And they're like, we're going to pick May 16th because our data is all crap. We've got to take a quick break. We're back in a moment. When we return, you had a goal of having more fun this summer. You set out on a fun whatever it was. Jet skiing, go to a lake, go to the beach, and something backfired. We're going to talk about your funner summer fails. And we'll reward one of you with a trip to the Hollywood Bowl for the Smart List podcast live.

If you would like to join us, the number is 800-520-1067. Funner Summer fails after this on KROQ. Hey, Rock. We are Fun Alley Show. If you'd like to join us in the conversation about Funner Summer fails or Funner fails, you can go ahead and do that now on the phones with the text line. The number is 800-520-1067. Up for grabs.

We hear your stories. We pick one, and we say, yes, you're going to go see SmartList Live at the Hollywood Bowl on October 17th. Or if you'd rather, you can have yourself some limited edition Klein Alley Show merch. Yesterday, I talked about this was a funner summer fail. Dylan! Dylan! A jet skier is enjoying a day on a lake. He turns around to ride backwards when, without warning, he blacks out. Ended up crashing that jet ski into a pier of some sort.

And he lived. That was my funner summer fail. I was trying to just have a good old-fashioned pool day and launched my child off my knees up into the sky because she wanted to go higher, daddy, higher. and instead she launched her head directly into my nose. Hey, Klein and Allie. Love you guys.

Hey, Klein. Hope your nose isn't too bad. Hope it gets better soon. I've broken my nose and it's not a good feeling or deal, but we'll get through it. K-Rock. Woo! Thank you for the uplifting message, sir.

It is in pain. It's still in pain and it feels like it has gotten crooked, but I guess I'm used to that. Did you get it to the doctor? No, couldn't see me yesterday. He was too busy with more important things, So I'm going to try to go in today and get a proper x-ray. But at some point, you just go, what can you do?

Either he's going to take it and snap it back into place, or this is just me again. People say I'm back to what I used to look like again. So people are thrilled. And actually, it's kind of comforting for me. Yeah, it's kind of like the old Klein. Yeah, so I guess all of that ridiculous six months of pig nose was for nothing. I know. Now you've undone everything in one weekend.

I just smashed my kid's head into my nose, and I'm back to normal. But it was fun or summer fail. And think about, I think the number one injury every summer is pool injuries. A lot of pool injuries. People crack their heads open, break arms. They stub their toes. I mean, it's just even the bad third-degree burns people get for falling asleep in the sun. It's bad news.

Any fun or summer fails, we'll take them now at 800-520-1067 because misery loves company. We say good morning to Kenan on KROQ. Good morning, Kenan. How's it going? Sweet divots, guys. Sweet divots. Tell us about your fun or summer fail. So we took the boat to the lake, you know, and we blow a tire on the way to the lake.

Not really such a big deal, right? We have a spare. The fun fail is on the way home, we blow the other tire. Oh, no. And so we ended up having to leave the boat on the side of the road, drive home. It's like 10 p.m. You know, we had to get tools, take it back. And then we had to try to find somewhere that could fix the tire at 10 p.m., luckily.

luckily we ended up finding a place that was only a few miles away so it ended up working but it took a couple extra hours and everything you're lucky you even got your boat back because i feel like that's a sweet payday right there for one-armed gary who seems to be acquiring all sorts of boats he finds random places right if you unhitch the boat and leave it there some person with the truck's like and uh just to hitch a hitch and move along won myself a free boat like going on priceless ride or something uh that is a that is a fail indeed uh cripple Cody, you've had a life full of fails. What was your funner summer fail?

Yeah, so mine's not super exciting, but I booked a bunch of non-refundable trips because I'm cheap and didn't want to buy insurance and then promptly got fired from my job. Oh, no, I feel you because I don't do the insurance either. So you had the opportunity to, you bought the trip. They said for an extra $11 a person, you can insure this entire trip.

You're like not doing it, and then you ended up getting fired. Yep, so I got to go on these trips as a super broke person going to, like, Hawaii and stuff where everything is crazy expensive. Yeah. Dude, it's like 12 bucks for a coffee there. It's insane. I know that you lost your job as a water scientist or something like that, but did you, have

you had any bites about getting a new job or no? Uh, trying to, but it's really slow working in the government field, as you can imagine. Yeah. Sucks, too. You're going to a place surrounded by water. Triggering for you. Very triggering for a cripple. Can't do much of anything. All right. Well, that's definitely a fun or summer

fail. I'm sorry about that. Jess, fun or summer Raphael, what happened to you? Hi, I peed on a trampoline. Cool. Hold on one second. I don't know if we said this is necessarily a fail. Well, did you just lose bodily control? How did this happen?

Yeah, so I recently had a baby, and our friends, so I have an older child, and he's friends with, like, the kid who has the cool parents at school. Right. Like, and we got invited. How are they the cool parents? Well, they have a trampoline in their backyard. Well, that's a good start, I guess, yeah. But, I mean, are they like?

They're always just cool. Like, they're like rockabilly. They're always, like, you know, going to concerts and stuff. And, you know, I don't know. They're just cool. So for you to get an invite over to the cool parents' house was a big deal because you're like, wait a minute. Now I'm getting invited to the cool parents' house,

and they think I'm a cool parent too, right? Yeah. I proved I wasn't cool. Um, I, so every, all the kids were like on the trampoline and they were like, oh, you should come, you should come. And I was like, okay, yeah. Like, I'm fun too. And so, yeah, I'm jumping, jumping. And like, I didn't even realize that maybe it was the gravity or something, but like.

The gravity. And all the kids are screaming and running off the trampoline. believe and they're like oh my god you know so-and-so's mom just peed and i was like oh no like i just embarrassed my son and uh it was awful it was horrible and the parents were like it's okay it's okay you just had a baby it's like and i'm like no and then we left yeah and i understand the parents understand those circumstances but those boys don't you're just the mom who peed on the trampoline it's not a better situation to be in than if you're going to have an accident than being around children because you should

have just pushed a kid in it and blamed it on that other kid. It was him, Mason. Damn you, Mason. You peed on the trampoline. All right. Well, that's, Jess, you're a front runner in this one for sure. Funner summer fail. Trying to have good old-fashioned fun on a trampoline. Didn't realize she would urinate all over the place. 626 said, I made it my mission

this summer to have the sluttiest summer ever and sleep as many people as I could. Three weeks in, I started getting a massive itching burning sensation on my balls. Long story short, I'd been on an inflatable donut on the couch waiting for my gonorrhea to go away that sucks that is a fun or summer fail for sure laura i'm k rock good morning hey good morning sweet dibs fun or summer fails what happened yeah so we um we have a girls

group and we haven't been able to get away for the last three years so we finally go away we go to palm desert we've got a house we're so excited to go out you know dancing karaoke but for some reason before that we decide to do um a split competition or we really call it a clam slam competition a clam i've never heard of a clam slam that's omar's favorite omar is that not the best competition in the history of competitions omar's always a big advocate of the clam slam dude that's our next event every time we talk about doing a show event omar's been going we got to do more clam slam and a summer clam slam well i thought you guys might like that so we We did our clam slam competition after we did a little wine tasting, right?

And we were, did I tell you we're almost 50? Like, we tore up our leg muscles and, like, could barely dance. We went out and just sat there and, like, ruined the whole night because we were all so sore from clam slamming. All right, well, that's a good fail as well, in theory. Like, I don't understand. We were great at this clam slam thing in our 30s. Yeah. Now we're not good at slamming clam anymore.

929 said, I was in a mosh pit this summer, got shoved to the ground, and my hand landed on a broken beer bottle. I severed four nerves and three tendons in my left hand. Listen, I will applaud all of the attempts for you to have a funner summer. I mean, we were on trampolines. We were on boats. We were doing clam slams. We were moshing. What's a summer more than a clam slam?

Nothing. It's like literally should be the event of the summer. In fact, Allie, we should, I don't know if it's too late, we should plan some sort of an end of summer. Clam slam. Clam slam on the beach, and we'll get a band to play it or something. What band? I don't know.

We should find a band that will play our Clam Slam. I bet there's a band somewhere called the Clam Slammers. Vanessa, make a note and put it on my desk. Making a note. Add it to all the other notes. Klein Alley Show, end of summer Clam Slam. Seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen, but we're going to do it. Of all the stories we've heard, which one of them do you feel had the biggest fun or summer fail?

You know, I know there are a lot of fail stories we've heard, but the woman who peed on the trampoline, I just feel so bad for her and her kid and that he's going to get teased for that. Forever. Forever. Congratulations. You've brought your son. Endless years of humiliation and probably a lot of years of therapy. But you've got yourself some tickets to go to a show at the Hollywood Bowl,

so it was all worth it, I guess. Toilet Bowl, not good for you. Hollywood Bowl, you'll be there, Smart List Live, October 17th. Congratulations. Her name was Jess, and she's the winner on KROQ. KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show. The moment of the show you've been officially waiting for is finally here. It's Panty O's Greg here with the Entertainment Report Live from Hollywood.

Nope, we don't have time for that, but thank you, Panty O's Greg. He said he was not going to call the show until September, I believe, was his plan. Oh, that's right. He was taking time off. I forgot about that. There's a lot of messages here. Jake, did he take any time off? Because it feels like every day there's a ton of messages.

Not enough. Because he did take a couple weeks, and then now, the last couple days, he's back, and it's like three or four messages every morning. Okay. So, anyway, good to have him back. We appreciate you joining the show. He is a workaholic, that guy. He can't stay away.

The Entertainment Report. You know, I know you've had to play this unfortunate game before. You've had to play it in your car, I know. But I'm sure you've had to play the game What's That Smell in your home. Where you get home and you realize that there is something rank. And you then have to spend as much time as possible to figure out what the culprit is. Where did the smell come from? How come What's That Smell has never been, like, a pleasant thing?

It's almost always bad. It's never like, wait a minute, something smells like cotton candy, and I can't place it. What is going on? Yeah, I know. This is an amazing mystery smell. Is there a Cinnabon that opened up near my house? It's never bad. I have to find out what it is.

It's always a bad smell, and sometimes it gets increasingly worse. Yeah, and when I got home from my little weekend away, you kind of smell like house, just like old house. Like, it's been sitting in stale air. Like, there's always just kind of a weird muskiness there, but I cleared all that out. And then when I got home yesterday, which I'm by myself, I've got time to spare, finally. I was going to relax. I was going to take a nap. You finally find that smell.

I can get around to it. For years, I have been wondering what the smell is, but now I've got the time to devote to it. I walk in, and I smell something horrible. I think it's food-related, but I'm not quite sure. It could be food, could be death. Those are the two, right? dead rat or rotting food. Right.

It could be dead. I mean, not just rat. I mean, at this point, it could be dead skunk, dead possum, any sort of that. The Kang animal smell is a pretty,

especially summer heat wave, the Kang animal smell. In my house, it could be dead cat. That was my first point of order is like check to make sure all three cats were alive. They're there, unfortunately.

What about the one that died though last year? The one that died is still in the living room. Oh. No. Her ashes are in the living room. Okay.

That would explain that. Allie's making sandwiches obsession style. So I start, I open the trash. It's a brand new trash bag. I'm going, that can't be the trash. Is it the recycling? Did somebody not clean something out?

Smells fine. I take out the recycling. Smell is still there. Do you go to the fridge? Then I make my way over to the fridge. Fridge, okay, it's been sitting there a few days. There's been things that are leftovers that might be a little musky. I start taking everything out of the fridge.

I toss everything into the garbage, remove the garbage bag, take it out to the side of the house. I go back in, still smells. This is when you realized it's you. And then I realized it was me all along. The mystery is right there. It was in my car. It was in my car. It was in my car.

I smell dead people. I was dead the whole time. Right. Yeah, that sounds about right. In my world. So I'm checking the cabinets. I cleaned out the litter boxes, which I'm not really supposed to be doing, just to make sure.

And then I- Why aren't you supposed to be doing that? Is it a pregnant thing? Yeah, technically you're not supposed to because of toxoplasmosis, but- That's just something a pregnant woman who didn't want to clean her litter box said one time. Well, I know. Katie's not there.

I'm like, damn it, now I actually have to do this. I'm going... So you hit all the obvious spots, which is usually the first thing. You go all the obvious. Then you start thinking, is there something out of the house? Am I missing something? Yeah, then the air conditioner. I'm wondering if there's a dead animal in the air conditioning unit

and it's blowing disgusting smell into the house, which how do I check that? I mean, you got to get a ladder, probably a leaf blower. You got to go into that little crawl space and check the ducts. I'm not going into a crawl space. I don't know what a duct is. You got to find it. I don't know what the hell's going on.

So I've kind of decided I'm going to abandon the search and light a candle. Oh, my God. Really? So when I can't find it, I just light a candle. That's your plan. The search is over. I'm just going to try to mask the bad smell by lighting things. Sometimes it's old.

So you went to room to room, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, and nothing pointed you in any kind. And I've got a strong sniffer right now. Yeah, that's right. You've got that pregnancy smell. So I know it wasn't upstairs. I had gone everywhere. I was pretty sure it was originating in the kitchen, and then I was going through my mind.

I was like, is it old flowers? Maybe I bought flowers, because those can stink up the whole place. Those things effing stink. I used to think flowers were a nice gift to give someone you liked, but they're actually the greatest prank gift to give, because when they go like two days past prime, they start stanking. Yeah. They smell so bad.

And the water smells so disgusting. I mean, it can go from smelling so good to so bad in like a 12-hour period. You checked the disposal, the sink, the kitchen disposal. I even put a little lemon in the disposal to make sure that was... Nope, nothing. Then I decided to make myself some food. I'm putting my food away, doing the dishes, and I eventually move a bag of cuties and realize that there is one bum cutie. Oh, there's always one bad one in there.

There's always one bad one. A disgusting, shriveled, green cutie. That created that much smell? That created that much smell. Those things are so powerful. Wow, really? That tiny little, it's got that green mold dust on them. Yeah, yeah.

Then it infects all the other cuties. Of course. Sometimes you get a bag of those things at Costco, there's 60 of them in there. 59 of them are perfect. And it just takes one bad one to ruin the whole bunch. And there's some guy who's working at the cutie plant who's like, I'm going to F with this bag. And I was like, damn, bad cutie. I didn't think about it.

And that made the whole, that brought the stank to the entire place. I took that cutie, I threw it in the garbage. The smell totally went away. And do you think I got rid of all the other cuties? Knowing you, no. No, I did not. I'm shocked you even got rid of that one. I'm shocked you didn't cut around it.

There's still a little juice in here. I can still juice it. I can salvage. Put it in a smoothie? Some of this. Oh, God. So the end of What's That Smell resulted in bad cutie. Who'd have known?

If you had bet a cutie, you'd be cashing in right now. It is absolutely true. Hey, Randy on KROQ. Good morning. Hi. Good morning. Hey, I got the perfect band for you guys for your clam fest. Oh, okay.

Hold on. It's not called the clam fest. It's called What's That Smell. It's called the clam slam. What's the band? We're putting this event together as we speak. Yes, we just learned about it a moment ago. The name of the band is called the Trash and Clams.

They're a lesbian punk rock band. A lesbian punk rock. All right, write that down, Vanessa. Add it to the notes. Let's see about getting them. We've got to figure out a venue, and we've got to make it happen. Thanks for playing What's That Smell? We're back in a moment.

When we return, we have two things you probably care about, the ADD News and then your tickets and a spot on the standby boarding list to be a part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. You get to see a band right here in Southern California at the Hollywood Bowl, a band by the name of Jimmy Eat World. And then you get to see them again, hopefully, with 50 other bands in Atlanta. It's all part of K-Rock's Road Trip USA. We need your name on our list, and that's coming up in about 15 minutes right here on K-Rock.

K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. It's fun. It was happening in the world. And then we will get into a brand-new hour of your show. The first thing we do is get you on that list. You can be a part of K-Rock's Road Trip USA. This time, a show right here at the Hollywood Bowl with Jimmy Eat World. and then a chance to see them on the other side of the country as part of Shaky Knees with 50 other bands happening in Atlanta.

So all you got to do is call in, be the 20th caller in about five minutes when we tell you to, and get your name on the standby boarding list until we call you back next week and give you the good news. You're traveling to see the band not once but twice. Now there's this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Here's a little update on psychosluralysis or whatever cases. Yes, this is still a thing, and yes, we still don't know how to pronounce it.

We have our first diarrhea disease death that happened. It's a bad way to go. Two people have died in Michigan. There are now 11,000 cases total, which is a lot of diarrhea. Those poor toilets. Initially, it was linked to Taylor Farms lettuce. That was sold mainly at Taco Bell locations throughout the Midwest, but now they have found another link. Another group of people in North Carolina got it from consuming cilantro and parsley.

The people who ate the parsley probably did so by accident because it's impossible to tell the difference between cilantro and parsley when you're at the store. That's just a garnish, really. They put that on the plate to make it look a little lively. I hate that cilantro and parsley look so alike and taste polar opposites. One of them is delicious and one of them is absolutely disgusting. I'm just happy that all of these things you've mentioned, lettuce, cilantro, parsley, They're all nothing I ever buy.

You don't buy cilantro? No. If it's there, I eat it. If it's not, I don't. Wow, you're in the middle. You're mad on cilantro. I almost got that clip he plays about me and my feelings on cilantro. I don't know where it is, but I've heard it before.

You pronounce it how my grandmother used to pronounce it. It's got cilantro in it. That's the version of that. She used to say vagina, too, and tortilla. Excuse me, there's cilantro in this? That's the clip. Thank you. Cilantro, yeah.

That was my impression of my mom, to be completely honest. Jake, I know you're not happy that we put some AI-generated images of you on your Bumble profile. I do think it still helped you, but consider yourself a trendsetter because all of Tinder is also going AI. This is against their will because of a new AI tool that they are now removing. Tinder has been giving some users unsolicited makeovers. The dating app recently rolled out an AI-powered photo-enhanced tool for users in the US. It's meant to simply sharpen blurry images, adjust brightness and exposure,

but some Tinder users feel it's gone too far. In some examples, you can see how a smile has been added. In others, the changes are more cosmetic, adding smoother skin and longer lashes. While in some others, the brightness has been significantly adjusted, which can have an effect on skin tone. So people are not happy with it, and now they're pausing the tool, but I would be all for it. Go ahead.

Give me some longer lashes. Give me a smile over my resting bitch face. I'll take it. I thought I was meeting a happy black man. Instead, it's an angry white man who showed up. It's the exposure. With a scowl on his face. Changing around everything.

I think it's a great idea to use AI, but I think it should be focused less on the person you're going to meet and more on the background. A lot of people post pictures and their room is a mess behind them. Use the AI to clean up their room or make it look like they live in a better place. Or put a smart people bookcase in the background. Very different with men and women. Guys look at pictures and they're very focused on the woman and her face, body, whatever. Women will look and they will focus on that part. And then they'll look around.

They'll look at what's going on behind the scenes. They'll say, look at that shelf. It has so much dust on it. Is he messy? Does this look like he's living? Does he have a roommate? Very detail oriented. That's the kind of stuff that the AI could help clean up.

Right. Some of the evidence. It can just kind of clean up the red flags. You know, in my circle of friends, there was a debacle happening because one friend was using AI scrubbing for group photos and was scrubbing herself, but also scrubbing other people in the photo before posting it. Scrubbing in a good way to try to make people look better? No, no, like blowing people up without their consent and then posting the pictures. And it's like, OK, this doesn't even look like me. Oh, she wanted to look like she had hotter friends?

Yeah, or she would do herself only and everyone else would look horrible. That's so selfish. So it's like they have these apps that you can really get in there and airbrush and make yourself look absolutely incredible. Not realistic, but if you look like you're in a beauty pageant and everyone else looks like a gargoyle. Here's the real question. I know there's a lot of stuff you can do to make yourself look fake better, but if it's just a lighting and angle issue. A lot of people say everything's lighting and angles. Lighting and angles.

Not one other Photoshop, no FaceTune, none of that crap. You just figure out if you have better angle and better lighting. I think if people knew what their angle was or the right lighting was, you can take someone who's a 5 or 6 and make them look like a 7 or an 8. Just on that alone. And that's not being dishonest. That's just using the tricks. Using what you got.

Yeah, exactly. We've got some computer that we use for Zoom sometimes. And I don't know what you have on there. You get a boner every time you do that. He doesn't pay attention in the meetings because he's looking at himself. I and you have never looked better. And I'm sitting next to you in real life going, what the hell is going on here? It's got like a face.

What does it have on there? I don't know. It's on my Zoom. It has some kind of like a retouch feature. I don't know. It was like that when I got it. Well, you must have that maxed out to the top because it is wild. I'll look and I'll be like, I'm looking at someone who kind of looks like a hotter Allie.

And then I catch myself. I'm like, well, look at that guy. But you're absolutely right. There should be AI. If we're going to use it to our advantage, it should be able to look at a person and say, here's how you should take a picture. I've analyzed your face Here's your angle

Here are your colors Here's where you should stand Here's the lighting that's good for you Like help us Just help us take better pictures Instead of fixing the bad ones we took There's an app They keep trying to get me to download

And they keep saying like You need basically Monster fix It's called monster fix They'll make me look like less of a monster They will take your actual picture And they will show you You know using AI whatever

What type of hairstyle you should have On your head And on your facial hair. Well, it's not the one you just got. I know, Allie. Thank you. I haven't obviously paid. I can tell you that.

We don't need AI. Haven't paid for the app yet. So I got something called Hat. It's better than an app. You just put it on and solve your problem. Cover your head. But that's the whole thing is that so many people are walking around going, you could be a better looking version of yourself, but you got the wrong haircut.

You got part to the left. You should be part to the right. And you used to need money for that. But now I think you can just use AI. Yeah, but for some reason, it still doesn't look as good as in real life. Yeah, that's true. Here's your nominee for douche of the year, the people who stole truckloads of supplies from a bunch of kids at a summer camp. Camp Agape, California, says thieves stole a trailer packed with thousands of dollars worth of sleeping bags, kitchen supplies, and other essential gear.

Camp's going to go on, but they're racing right now to replace those items. They also want the person who stole it to know that they are forgiven, because that's what Camp Agape is all about. Oh, man. That's crazy. Okay, thank goodness Camp Agape has forgiven me. But according to the kids, they love this place. Going there, I felt God was, like, hugging me in his arms and keeps on telling me to come back to the camp.

Yikes. Red flag, I think. That sounds a little creepy, but I don't know. It's easy for the counselors to be like, God is wrapping you in a big hug, and he's also telling your parents to write another check. So you can stay at camp a little longer so God can continue to give you that big old hug. We got to get into a brand new hour of the show right now.

And the very first thing we do is ask you to give us a call if you'd like to be a part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. Why the hell not? It's completely free. Takes no time at all. And all you got to do is get through the pesky busy signal as you call us at 800-520-1067. Call or 20. Let's go. Good morning.

And hell yeah. We are Klein Alley Show. I'm KROQ. And we are looking for you on the phones. to the number 800-520-1067. Perhaps you're hearing this after the fact because you've downloaded the podcast. Don't bother calling.

You've already missed your opportunity, but you can join us live every single day. We are here until pretty much 11 a.m. most mornings, hanging out, giving you stuff, ridiculing each other, and that will continue happening this hour on Jake's big birthday. If you are looking to do something and you want to have a funner summer,

I recommend you don't do this, but Jake will be celebrating his birthday at the DMV today. Yeah, I think he'll be there around 1, you said, Jake? In Glendale. Jake will be sitting in a chair in a corner, not doing any official DMV business, but he'll be sitting there and he's going to have a balloon and a party hat. And we will already, we are going to be sending him, I did attempt to get some entertainment to come by.

I called up three or four different places to see if I could send him a dancer. Oh, adult entertainment. They refused to go to the DMV. What kind of dancer? Of the adult variety. Can I take a mulligan, like a lighter? No, no, no. It was only for today.

My wife will do tap for you at the DMV. Oh, man. That would be so great. You can get a dancer. That would be so great. Send Ali's wife by, do some tap dancing, get a pizza stopping by. It's going to be a good time. What could make the DMV worse?

That would be the best. That would be just, I feel like you are going to get thrown out at some point, but. Do you have a plan of what you're going to say at that first window when they ask why you're there? Oh, I'm just going to say that I was forced to go there because I failed a driving test, and it's my birthday, and then see what they say. Okay, great. It's a good start. Yeah, you might have to make up a reason, though.

Well, if that fails, Jake, just say you're doing something with your, you know, permit or something. With your disability blacker for your crap. Yeah, you tell about your crap issue. This hour on the show, we will get into Jake's most recent date exit interview. First date ended, and then he said, do you mind if I ask you some questions to see how the date went? So we have some very honest feedback. We'll get to that later this hour. The return of Netflix or Netflix, a brand new month, means all sorts of new shows you could be watching right now.

and also ones we've made up, and if you tell the difference between the two, you win, and we say good morning right now to a winner by the name of Ryan listening to us in Huntington Beach. Good morning, Ryan. Good morning. You are caller number 20. 20. You will be going to the Hollywood Bowl. You'll see some

Jimmy Eat World there. I'm writing your name down on a list, and if we call you back on Monday, pack your bags. You're going to go to Shaky Knees, Atlanta to see Jimmy Eat World again, but this time with the strokes and turnstile, tone on pilots, Violet Grohl, and many others all right yep sounds good all right thank you for letting us interfere with your morning hold on one second uh come back in a moment and the show will continue in exactly three minutes

on k-rock we are finally show we always say that we're around for you 24 7 365 when we're not here the go line is that number is 844-956-GOAT you can leave that uh leave your messages on there critiques and criticisms and there's a bunch of different things on the go line uh some anger some angry stuff some birthday stuff some people that just need clarification also new listeners that are trying to get caught up on stuff that they don't understand oh yeah if you have any questions let us know the goat line is there for you once again that number is 844-956-GOAT so um i was just listening to the show today on the podcast on my walk and i was just thinking we really need more of klein and vanessa singing songs because those are the funniest things i've

ever heard um the missy elliott discounting pros vanessa doing clean and the beach boys it's too good please bring that back make that a regular thing okay thanks we good all right thank you for the message that's not going to happen but thank you for leaving the message why is that not going to happen we did enough singing i think for i don't think so one year i think well east coast girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear and the southern girls

with the way they walk they knock me out when I'm down there I do not want more of this I'm her daughter really make you feel alright and the northern girls with the way they kiss

they keep their boyfriends warm at night I wish they could all be California girls I've never heard that one before I take it back That's an instant classic Expert sing talking

That woman is right right there I wish they all could be California girls I think for you You don't think that it's interesting Or entertaining But for us it is It's so great That is

After hearing that Yeah but that's not you Vanessa I'm sure you don't I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee. Here's Santa Monica. I swear it's calling me. Won't make my mama proud.

It's gonna cause a scene. She sees her baby girl. I know she's gonna scream. God, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl and you dance at the club, oh mama. They didn't even have,

that was acapella. That's right. I didn't even have the help of that background track, which clearly saved Vanessa. So anyway, that woman wants more songs from us. So we will go ahead and make a list of things that you want more and or less of. Here is an interesting take, Allie, about your mother, which I think is valuable to listen to.

Oh, mama. My mama. This is a take about Allie's mama. She's also a California girl. She is. The throat goat. Allie's mama. I absolutely love the throat goat's mustard sandwich approach to sightseeing.

It was like, you can almost see the hotel where Stephen King was. And then it's just a drive-by and a honk-honk. Anyway, have a great day. So your mom is very cheap and will not pay to park and actually go experience the sights. She'll just say drive by them quickly and get your picture and move on. Yeah, my mom is also one of those people who taught me how to price tag switch, which I don't do anymore. But she was really, really good at it. She was able to save money all the time.

Now she doesn't really need to, but it's still ingrained in her. This is something I wish we didn't have time to play right now, but I will give it to you anyway because, well, this guy says we weren't going to hear from him until September at the earliest, but he has come back in a big way. Clown and Allie, and it's okay. Clown and Allie, yeah, I've been missing every day. Clown and Allie knows I'm gay,

in Crown and Alley is the only way. Is he gay, Pantyhose Crank? He's bisexual. He'll have sex with anyone. Oh, he is? Mm-hmm.

I knew he was. We had to bleep him saying the P word one time. Yeah, he said, remember he wanted us to get him a girlfriend? Oh, I mean, I know he wears pantyhose,

which is a good indicator, but I thought that was just kind of a weird thing he's into. Yeah, it is. He just likes everybody. But he's into all, he's just into love.

This is such a good singing-themed goat line. Mm-hmm. Crown and Alley, So I think that's him coming out of the closet officially. It sounds like he's not into women at all anymore. Sounds like he's fully gone full-blown gay. I smell an album.

All three of you. There's another song request here, Allie. Let me go ahead and play this now. Another message on the go-line about music. Fine, Allie. Hey, before I compliment the Chip Foley song and tell you how much I love it and tell you that it's on hour three at the 36 minute and eight second mark on yesterday's podcast, I got to ask, was that AI? Am I sitting here complimenting the radio station on an AI production? Thanks.

Have a great show. Of course not. That was written and produced by DJ Omar Khan right there. He's very proud of that work he did. In a minute and a half. Yeah. Yeah, let me play a little bit of it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I'll let your heart show him what I got. That's not it. That's not it. It's good stuff. I'm telling you, we've got something here. He's asking for the Tip Bully. Make an album. And I know that he was referring to the Tip Bully,

R.I.P. Tip Bully song, but when Tip Bully was our official phone number here, you better believe that we crushed it with a bunch of different Tip Bully jingles. Three, two, three. Tip Bully Say it with a smile Easy as can be

Three, two, three Tip Bully That's B-O-L-I With an I With an I The Tip Bully phone number. Still works, by the way. Three, two, three.

Tip Bully. Resurrected and back at it again. I don't care if it's AI. When we get back, if you'd like to play a little game with us, we will share with you some of the shows that are actually coming to Netflix and ones we've completely made up around here.

It's never easy to play Netflix or NotFlix, but it will teach you things you could be watching right now instead of listening to this show. And I think that is beneficial. So call now, play next, 800-520-1067. The return of Netflix or NotFlix for the month of August starts next. If you're unaware, that means you've got a bunch of new shows you could be streaming on all your streamers, including the Netflix. And then there's ones that we have completely made up around here. It's a game that no one's asked for, but we do it anyway every month just to remind you what you could be watching. And I was all excited.

Today I was going to go see, even though I told Jake I was not available to get a beer with him for his birthday, I'm going to go to the Odyssey movie later tonight. I just bought a ticket to see the Odyssey, too. And Omar went last night because he got caught up in the, and he got ticket for one. I mean, that's a real move right there. Went by myself, yeah. That's what my plan is. Did you like it?

It was just mid. So mid AF. That's the first not overly positive review I've heard of this. I mean, it's fine. And it's cool. And I will say, to the director's credit, it did not feel like a three-hour movie. It did have a nice pacing to it. But it was, all the hype, I don't know what that was about.

You know, I knew it was a red flag when Johnny said it was amazing. Yeah. Because I don't have the same movie taste as him. Because I like cool quality stuff and you like weird stuff. Odyssey was the best movie of the summer. There was a bunch of weird stuff in the Odyssey, man. What are you talking about? Did you like the Minions?

I went with my kids to go see Minions and Monsters, and Johnny goes, can I come? I want to go. Did you think Minions and Monsters was as good? First of all, you invited me to that. You texted me. And then second, it was a masterpiece. Well, I said I'm going to Minions and Monsters with my children. You're supposed to write back and say, have fun.

And you go, I'll be there. It was a masterpiece. I do not pass up anything Minions. It was a masterpiece? Which one? Minions and Monsters was a masterpiece? Minions and Monsters was a masterpiece. Minions 2 was a masterpiece.

And the very first Minions in 2015, spectacular trilogy. Okay, but which, but my question is this. Is the Odyssey a better movie or Minions and Monsters, in your opinion? Damn. He also loved Michael, which was a stereotypically terrible movie that people hate watch. Right, right. Yeah, the Michael Jackson one. Put some respect on Michael Jackson's name.

That movie was the highest rating biopic. No, I choose not to. Right, right. Okay, fair enough. All right. Well, anyway, all of these eventually will be streaming, but right now they're in theaters. And then now we've got actual things you could be streaming if you're too cheap to go to the theater.

So here we go. Is it going to be Netflix? In which case, you'll hear that. Or did we make it up completely? In which case, you will hear this. Nuts! It's time for Netflix or Notflix. We say good morning to Jose in the San Fernando Valley.

Good morning, Jose, and welcome to KROQ. Good morning, Shadibit. All right, I'll read you a quick description. You just have to tell us, Netflix or Notflix. A comedian eats fried chicken for every meal over 28 days straight to test physical and mental limits. The goal, investigate the health impacts of ultra-processed foods, industrial farming and the massive

corporate power behind the global fast food chains. This show is called Big Chicken, A Fast Food Conspiracy. Is that Netflix or is that Notflix? A comedian eating fried chicken for 28 days straight. That's gotta be Netflix.

He says that is Netflix. That's gotta be Klein. Show me Klein. Let's find out if it's Netflix. Wow. That is a real Netflix show, which is, by the way, just a rip off of Super Size Me where the guy ate McDonald's for 28 days or whatever.

Yeah, do you think now Netflix just goes up to people and they're like, hey, YouTuber, do you want to eat fried chicken for a year straight and get paid a bunch of money? Okay, great.

Well, they know that Vanessa is a chicken enthusiast. There's many other people like Vanessa out there. They'll watch any chicken content available, so congratulations. Because you like chickens, that's the whole category for her.

You will like this next movie. That is really a show and that is really on Netflix. And by the way, that apparently comes out the 5th of August, So that's tomorrow, I think. Let's say hi to Nicole in Los Angeles, California.

Welcome to Netflix or Notflix. Nicole. Hi. Couples on the verge of divorce spend one final weekend in a luxury hotel together where everything will be documented. Can 48 hours of undisrupted bliss save their marriage? This is called The Divorce Hotel. is this netflix or is this made up and is this not flicks oh i want to see if that's netflix show me netflix

not should be though i feel like uh i mean i feel like they've gone through all the islands they have now we're on the hotel got to go back to hotels again divorce hotel but would be interesting if every room in the hotel had couples who are in a similar situation they're all on the brink so sometimes you could listen to people fighting through the walls and then maybe sometimes all you need is a 48 hour getaway and you realize you know what this person i thought i hated that i wanted to leave actually yeah not so bad or maybe one of the nights you do a room swap right there's a lot of options guys netflix if you want to buy the show divorce hotel available for purchase we say hi to contest number three now only one person is predicted correctly and

that was jose this is uh channing on line six hey channing welcome to k-rock good morning Hey, sweet divots. Sweet divots to you. It's RFK. Hi, RFK. Welcome to K-Rod. Here is your show. Thank you for having me.

Four celebrity hiking newbies end up forming a club to tackle Korea's snow-capped peaks. Can they figure out why on earth people will actually go to the mountains? This is called Take a Hike. Is Take a Hike Netflix or is that Netflix? oh my god um i'm gonna say netflix show me netflix rfk gets the point and that one actually got approved and they shot it and they made it and it's available to start watching on netflix on the 18th of august and why people like hiking yeah that's right they uh they take celebrities and then they put them together and then they

have to go on a hike to try to figure out why people like hiking How is that happening? Make 100 episodes. After free solo, and that guy free soloed El Capitan, they're just going to go with celebrities going on hikes? Lisa? Yes, good morning. Contestants, good morning.

Contestants are handed $100,000 and tempted with splurge purchases over the course of a week. They can keep whatever they buy, but whoever spends the most money will lose everything, and whoever spends the least gets to keep whatever they don't spend. This show is called Broke by Friday. Is this Netflix or is this not-flix? This is Netflix. Show me Netflix. Not.

Imagine a show, though, Ali, watching people that are constantly tempted with all of the, like a real-life algorithm, all of the things that they would want to buy. And you know that if you spend it, you could get to keep it, but also you could lose everything if you spend the most. I think it's a general week. This is what Jake does every single week. Yeah, Broke by Friday. Broke by Friday is Jake's every week. It's his life. Except on his Wednesday.

I feel like this show actually sounds good. You should make it. Like, you get to keep what you buy? Well, you get to keep what you buy unless you spend the most, in which case you lose everything. So it's a mental warfare game. Do I spend nothing and buy nothing? But maybe then someone else did that, too. Dude, look at these hookers and blow.

Yeah. Jake, meanwhile, Broke by Wednesday is Jake's show already. The sequel. It's the prequel to the actual show. So, Allie, two people were able to successfully determine what were real shows, and those people were Jose and Channing. Yeah. Which one is going to win?

Let's go with RFK Jr. RFK Jr., who went by the name Channing to disguise his identity. RFK, thank you for all of your service, everything that you've taught us about health, and you are the winner on KROQ. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you so much. You're very welcome.

And thank you so much. And thank you so much. And RIP, friend. Hold on one second so we can get you a prize that you can't even buy in stores. And a lozenge. Get that man a Werther's ASAP and a Hall's or something. The show continues in mere moments on KROQ. Jake was on a first date.

His exit interview. It's right. KROQ, we are a client of the show. Jake has successfully turned over his dating profile to Allie and Vanessa. They decided to get rid of every picture he had originally, put up different ones. Some of them were AI-generated, but for the most part, they were Jake, and they changed his answers to every question. Not so that it wouldn't be Jake anymore, but just to emphasize the things that maybe women would not be so turned off by. And even though Jake has never officially thanked them for doing this, it has resulted in him getting multiple swipes,

which up until they had taken over his dating profile, he was getting no swipes, so much so that he was told that he had to stop swiping because he had reached the limit, and he couldn't do it anymore. So he signed up, he went on Bumble, went on a few dating apps, and I believe that we're about to hear his third Bumble date. And I think this was over the course of one week. Three dates in one week. He moved fast. And I think you've had second and third dates with some of these girls, right, Jake? Two second dates.

Okay. And some of them have resulted in intimacy, correct? Yeah. So that's all good stuff. And this is the third date. And you want to tell us all about this woman before we listen to the exit interview? What do you want me to know? Okay, forget it.

I'll just play the interview. Well, wait, wait. I do have a couple questions. Did you take her to the exact same bar that you took the other two girls to? I believe it. Did you wear shorts? Yep. Oh, my God.

So you changed nothing? Pretty much. So you're getting, like, real live feedback in the moment from the dates, and they're giving you these exit interviews to say, hey, by the way, the place was okay, your outfit sucked, and then you would think most people would say, good, thanks for that information. I'm going to alter it for the next date. But not Jake, so here we go. Stubborn Jake, date number three, exit interview starts now.

All right, my third bumble date. our first date from Mesquite. You said that right in front of her? Yeah. You said my third Bumble date? Right, she's standing right next to you? Couldn't start with her name? She wanted to be anonymous.

Okay, but did she know that you had been on three dates that week? Yeah. Just right then? No, I mean three dates in the last two weeks, I guess. Just over a week and a half. But don't you understand how that would maybe make her feel? Like more of a number than a person? I don't know.

Sucks to suck. Wow. I'm standing here with number 16. Hi, 16. State your name, because I forgot it. All right, my third Bumble date. Our first date, from a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate it? I'd give it an 8.

Yeah? What? How is that possible? How is this possible? These girls are too nice. They are going to go home and talk to their girlfriends about how it was a 3. She says it's an 8, but if you listen to the different parts of the date as he breaks down, If you get an 8, you think that's like, okay, some things were a 10 and some things were a 6.

It gets to an 8. But you don't hear anything higher. Listen to this. How come? The conversation was great. I learned a lot about DMT. Oh, no. DMT.

Sorry. What the hell was that? Did you get some? Is that an ACDC reference? That triggered that song. DMT. Anyway. That's not the song.

Are you singing a BTS song? She's saying TNT. Yeah. Yeah, she's very confused. TNT. TNT. Vanessa is definitely... Did you have donuts today, Vanessa?

No. Enjoyed my hard seltzer. Very cute dog. How do you feel about the place you met me at? Terrible. Okay, so let's start with this. So once again, he's brought her back to his only sports bar he goes to. And you know what?

When you are dating, wouldn't you agree, Klein, that you kind of feel things out when you're talking to the person, maybe figure out what their vibe is and where they might like to go? The chances that all three of these girls want to go to the same bars, there's no chance. The first girl was a Dodgers fan. It made perfect sense. There was a Dodgers game on. He said, let's meet at a low-pressure date because you've got the Dodger game to watch. It's made less sense ever since.

Yeah, that one made sense. Every other date has made no sense. It made perfect sense. How do you feel about the place you met me at? terrible. That sounds like it makes perfect sense based on what she said. It was four freeways away from my house, but all of my friends live in the

neighborhood, so I was willing to make the drive because I could make it a two-car. So, basically, she was looking for a reason to see her friends that live near you and said, I will meet this guy and maybe he'll buy me dinner or something. Dude, you know she told her friends, too, if I text you, please rescue me.

Right, and they're like, do you know where this is? Here's the address. How would you rate my outfit? Do I need to rate your outfit respectfully? So, once again, she gave the date an 8, but already we're getting a terrible review for the location. And now we've moved on to outfit, and she says, do I need to even rate it respectfully? Oh, no. I'm so sorry.

I would prefer to plead the 5th on this one, but if I am required for science, I'm going to give it a 4. Wow, that's generous. That is way better than the last day, which I think gave it a one. And you're wearing the same outfit. Are you on sleeveless T-shirt and jean shorts? No, no, no. I had a very fancy tie-dye tank top. Oh.

And my evening jorts, the black ones, the nice ones. If I went on a date with someone wearing tie-dye, that says so much about the person. It sure does. Exactly. That's what I do. Yeah, but you want to ease people into the Jake. No, uh-uh. Oh, man.

The thing is, also, do you know when they do customer reviews, they're like, how was your experience? Help us improve. The idea is that people read this feedback. They always say, we strive for five. Anything under five is a fail. Tell us what we could have done to have done it. And Jake's done nothing but

less than ten and changed nothing about the experience. He put on his evening shorts, Ali. Let's not forget that. Let's give him the wins where he gets them. Why a four? It's a tank top and shorts and flip flops. That's not a date outfit.

Ah, it's not. Well, she's right. I mean, sadly, she's right. And this is probably where Jake goes over the top and criticizes her outfit. Oh, yeah? You think you're so fancy in your pants? I did. Oh, boy.

You started crapping on her outfit? She has the same thing on. Every date. She has the same thing on. Every date he's gone on. This is what ends up happening. They criticize his outfit. He asks for honest feedback.

They're not asking for feedback, by the way. And you just didn't give. Uh-huh. That's not a date outfit. How would you rate my smell? I haven't smelled you. I smelled your dog. Lies.

And your dog smells like patchouli? Oh, man. That's good. This sounds like a terrible date through and through for this poor woman. I mean, really, the only positive she said was the conversation about DMT. How could she have gotten to an eight? I'm just curious. DMT.

Oh, there we go. There we go. Vanessa, calm down, Vanessa. I can't believe you even thought of that song. She has a very incense-y vibe, more than a traditional canine scent. And how do you like that? It's non-traditional for a dog. Once again, I am perplexed as to how she got to the number 8 out of 10

if every score she's given has been a 4 or lower. Even, like, clean dog smell, like, that's a nice smell. The fact that he's able to overpower it. Right, with incense. With incense. But I appreciated the change of pace. She's an innovator. Would you go on another date with me?

Okay, what do you think, Allie? I know. Do you think so? Yeah, I think she's going to be nice and say, well, I'm open to it. But I don't think she wants to. Vanessa, what's a great way a woman would say no without saying no to that question? How would you answer that? I'll text you later tonight.

Anything's possible, yeah. Yeah, one of those things. So the question is... Depends on how desperate I get. From what you've heard, Omar, do you think there's any way she says yes? No, I think this lady doesn't want to mess around. I think she's going to just flat out say, I don't think so. All right, here's the response.

Will Jake get a second date? This is his first date exit interview. Would you go on another date with me? I don't think so. Oh. Oh, man. That is so... It was an eight.

There's a chance. Meaning no. Yeah. And then we're going to fast forward to Jake going, it's a few hours later and we're in How do you feel about the date now? Would you go on another date with me? I don't think so. Because you do DMT

and I am a square. Wow. There you have it. She's definitely not a square. Well, Jake... I'm just too much of a prude. Have you spoken to that woman since or no? Sure haven't.

But the other dates have gone well? The second dates went well? Yeah. So are any of these you have feelings for? I don't have feelings for any of them yet, but they're nice people. Jake, would you be opposed to, on your next date, giving them one of the, I've never been intimate with Jake as a parting gift? Like, obviously, this is not going to go in the direction I was hoping. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

At the very least, I will give you the shirt that says you've never been intimate with me. We'll give you a t-shirt cannon, too. Yeah, you can blast it out of them if they catch it, it's theirs to keep. I think that's a good way to end your dates with those limited edition I've never been into with Jake shirts. I think a bad first date parting gift is a great idea. Totally. That would actually put me on the verge of a second date if somebody gave me a free shirt. Okay, this didn't work out.

Like, yeah, that's funny. Yeah, here's the, right. Jake, grab some with you. Do you have any other dates lined up or no? Oh, I think he said he stopped paying for Bumble, so he's out now. Yeah, I'm on that, but I still have one tentative, one schedule, but we'll see. She might cancel. This is the one that you're meant for?

No, the magic lady? No, no, no. She still hasn't answered me. Man. Jake, you know you posted over the weekend, you did a tarot card reading? Oh, yeah, yeah. And you know that someone, a listener, screenshotted your post and put it into ChatGPT and said, explain what this means.

Do you know at all what your tarot card reading meant? I mean, I got the reading. She told me what it meant. What did she tell you? I forget. I wasn't paying attention. Right. Glad all this feedback helps you.

Well, it talks a lot about stubbornness and not being open to change and, you know, how you... You say like that's a bad thing. It is a bad thing. I think in this particular case, when it comes to you getting feedback... Now you're dope. Okay. You are a dope. That is the birthday boy right there, folks.

He'll be at the DMV today in Glendale celebrating. DMV. I'm dynamite. I said DMV. I said DMV. Oh, sorry. DMV. Welcome to your Tuesday. It's K-Rock. We're Klein Alley Show.

Let's find out what's happening in the world with a check of the ADD news. Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. And also, if you're keeping track, today is the birthday of a Jake the Nerd. And I remind you of this because if I don't, he will because he's a real, hey, look at me, it's my birthday guy. And he's one of those people who's like not going to say anything and then waiting to see if you're going to say something. Yeah, we all acknowledged separately and privately. And he wanted us to acknowledge but then was kind of disappointed with the lackluster happy birthday Jake. Well, we said it.

I gave him a present. What more do you want? I've never seen someone look more upset after getting a present than Jake Dill. I was fine with it. See? Oh, my God. It was a lighter. Yeah, you gave him a lighter.

It's not anything to write home about. It's a lighter that has a pickle on it and says, I'm a big Dill. His name's Jake Dill. Oh, wow. Great dad gift. Bought that thing like months ago thinking, I'm going to give this to Jake on his birthday. Didn't lose it between one of- Gosh, how many big Dill things do you think I have?

Is it a lot? I don't know. A bunch. Really? It's only been my last name for my whole life. Do you have a Big Dill section in your little shack? Yeah, I have a whole thing. Listen, the point is...

All right, now I know what to get you. So unappreciative. It's just annoyed by it almost. No, I like it. All right. Let's get into your news now. I can use it for my incense. We're going to give you the gift of this news.

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. We know a lot of artists have been affected by blue dot fever. People just aren't buying tickets to shows like they used to. It's forcing people to cancel their shows. Recently, poor Northwest had to cancel her tour, which is rough news for a 13-year-old with no talent. But there's an interesting twist, and I think this could change things a lot. Zac Brown just gifted his entire audience of 37,000 people a free cruise.

Now, this is significant. He says that this is to reward his fans after selling out 15 shows at Fenway Park. So think about it. If you're on the fence about going to a show, but you think, hey, if I go, I might win something. I might get something back. Yeah, but the guys that have the money to give out 5,000 cruises, they're the ones that are not having blued out fever. They're selling out-

37,000 cruises. I understand. It's a $40 million value. Yes. What is it? A $40 million- A $40 million value. Who is this guy?

Trace Atkins? He's a country singer, Zac Brown. I don't- Oh, Zac Brown. Okay. But they said this breaks the record for the largest surprise audience gifting in live entertainment history. Oh, man.

Who does he think he is? Oprah? That's nuts. Yeah. a cruise for two people for every single person but listen to this let's be honest

how many of those people well probably at that show they're all going to go it seems like a cruising bug yeah they're all going to do that absolutely I don't know

it's a belly flop contest of 4,000 people competing I get it it's like this cruise is full of a bunch of hillbillies where did it come from but think about it

on a smaller scale if you have a company that wants to get publicity and they have some free stuff that they want to give out for some mentions or a viral video or whatever, I can understand a trade happening at a concert. And if it is just 5,000 or 10,000 people,

if you're going to start giving out things at concerts, I think that this is going to be something. Yes, but once again, I think the artists that really need the people there aren't going to be the ones that are going to be perhaps giving out that stuff. Yeah, like who's that artist, that artist Ray or whatever? She's not going to sell out Fenway Park

seven days or whatever this guy did. You're talking about Ray, Allie's neighbor, Ray? No, no, no, no. There's some, just the pop star of Ray. She's like mid, so mid. But she's not going to be showing up. No way, she's so good. Oh, boy.

Okay, here we go. Baby, where the hell's my husband? It's that song. That song. No, that Vanessa, I didn't hear any of that. Baby, where the hell's my husband? Oh, stop making her sing now. What is wrong with you?

That crew's going to get the Titanic. Look, we're getting the gifts already. Yeah, gift that keeps on giving right there. The idea of a stay-at-home wife is less common now, the trad wife or traditional wife. But what about a trad husband or a trad boyfriend? And as times continue to change, more and more women are supporting their boyfriends and husbands. And the husbands will stay at home to do laundry. Apparently, this is a thing now.

The rise of the stay-at-home boyfriend. What? That's what I said. Oh, man. Oh, man. That's what I said. Somebody's got attitude. I don't know if she likes it or not.

We need that. No. Yes. Gen Z women are financially supporting the men in their life. Federal Reserve data show over the last 12 months, the number of jobs held by men fell, women gained. So it says now women are holding more jobs than men are. So the women are now the ones that are providing for their husbands. And women, how do we feel about this one?

I know we wanted the equality, but now that the tables have turned, it's kind of a bum deal. Well, I think mathematically you can hire two women for every one man, right? Well, that's why I think a lot of companies are like, hey, we're going to get more bang for our buck with two women. And literally more bang for the buck. And then we can bang them all while they provide for their husbands. You can see the meeting happening in the boardroom. All right, we got more bang for the buck. That's a great idea, Jim.

Let's do it. Jim, you're the man with good ideas. We will not stop until every idea has been rebooted, revived, reimagined, and that includes social media. MySpace may be getting a second chance. The once dominant social media site says the current owner is planning to come back after nearly two decades on the decline. Now, the owner says that they're hoping to offer people an alternative to today's algorithm driven platform and they are committed to bringing the brand back. It's a great time for it, if you think about it, because every social media app has kind of just become algorithms. You know, Facebook, Instagram, which Facebook was kind of what replaced MySpace.

and it has just become suggested posts, suggested ads and you can't really see, you can't really keep up with the people you follow anymore. Yeah, however. So if they bring it back

to that original idea, it could be successful. I hate the algorithm as much as the next person but boy, is it good because every time it says you'd probably like this, they're goddamn right.

They've never been wrong. They've never once been wrong. The algorithm has never given me something that I've been like, that's not for me. Those naked women, get out of here.

Every single thing they show me, they're like, new pizza spot open. I'm like, I'm glad you sent me that. They figured you out. Yeah, Algorithm knows me better than any of my friends or family members. Algorithm is your best friend.

It really is. I just want someone to appreciate me and respect me the way Algorithm does. How's Algorithm doing? Let's check. So, anyway, there's a little look at what's going on in the world. And then we get into a brand new hour of the show in moments, the greatest hour of your life. Perhaps, if you need us, phones, text line, 800-520-1067. You can call.

You can interact with the show. You can win. You can wish Jake a very happy birthday. In fact, already on the phone right now, we have someone for Jake calling early. DMD, here we go. Oh, that's so nice of you. Happy birthday, Jackie. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Oh, hell yeah. Welcome to your K-Rock. Welcome to your Klein Alley Show. It is just after 10 o'clock on a Tuesday morning in August. We are Klein Alley Show. My name's Klein. There's Alley. Morning.

That is DJ Omar Khan right there. Birthday boy, Jake the Nerd. What's up? You're thinking to yourself, I want to do something fun this summer. I haven't done any travel. You're probably not thinking about the DMV in Glendale, but that's where Jake will be celebrating his birthday today. Once again, this is not a sanctioned hang.

We don't even think the DMV will allow Jake to sit there for four hours wearing his birthday sash, but he'll be there. Yeah, we don't even know if he'll get in. We've got some entertainment scheduled and some pizzas coming for Jake, and we may stop by. I know Vanessa says she's not going to because it's not on her way home. I'm going to attempt to stop by. But also, I thought this was a punishment,

and that sounds like a punishment to have your birthday party at the DMV by yourself is a punishment so no matter how we slice it trust me I think it's going to be a punishment yeah but Jake didn't have anything else going on for his birthday well he's not going to get his nap his favorite time of the day

so he's going to be there anyway we'll be stopping by if you'd like to come by and pay respects to Jake the Nerd on his birthday he'll be at the DMV in Glendale for no reason just sitting there details up on our Instagram at Klein Alley Show lots to get into this hour including but not limited to

Old People's Secrets. If you want to live forever, we have it from a 104-year-old. Exactly what you need to be doing if you want to live for as long as humanly possible. And we will get into that. Plus, if we have time for it,

we'll get into some Johnny Doesn't Know as well. And your interaction is always why we're here at 800-520-1067. If you need us, you can get involved with the show. This is Julia Wolf.

And if it sounds like we're playing it a lot, it's because we are. Sometimes we do that. It is called In My Room, and it is on KROQ right now. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show. That was Julia Wolf, and it's time now to help you live forever. Every time someone turns 100, 102, 105, 110,

I believe the oldest old people's secret we ever got on the show was someone that was 111, I think. Is that possible? Yay. I know we did 110 and 107 just last week. So people are getting older, living longer, and they're saying people that are being born today could easily live to 156, no problems.

But what is your secret? why are you living longer than the rest of us and are you giving us good intel or are you setting us up so that we die off early and you get all the glory? It's time for Old People's Secrets. From chicken brain to drinking rain. Not

getting laid. They call me the barmaid. They call me the mermaid. That's right. Let's live forever with sweet dibbits. Sweet dibbits. Time for some Old People's Secrets.

You know, it used to be these cheesy evening news reports, Sally, that would focus on the old people have now gone into the world of YouTube reporting. And now people, everyone wants to interview the old people to get the secrets. They don't want to wait around for the evening news to cover the story. So we have a new one. Is there overly sappy music behind it? No, no, no music at all. But this is not the typical old people secrets. This is going to be a very raw, uncut old people's secret as we sit down with someone who just turned 104.

Well, they say four, but it's 104. She's tired of people getting it wrong. They're 100 years off. I guess they could only put a four on her cake, or they only had four candles or something. They couldn't buy a one and a zero? I guess they just put a four there. She was very confused. Well, they say four, but it's 104.

So she wants everyone to just know that she's 104 years old, and clearly that's obvious by the... Old. Well, it's nice. I'm getting fun. Keep busy and keep your mind going. So she's giving a little bit of a kind of a speech now to people. Is she in a bingo hall? I believe it's a bunch of people that are waiting for their medications.

Oh, nice. She's just kind of rambling. You have to keep busy. And you have to use your mind every day. What do you do to use your mind every day? It's almost like she's doing like an AMA or like a TED Talk sort of situation. But just with other old people, they're not really paying attention because they're also old. She's like, okay, and next question is like a press conference.

Right, but once again, no one cares because they're also old like she is. So for them, it's not that impressive. What do you do to use your mind every day? The computer talks to it and it talks to me. Nice. She's doing chat GBT. She's talking to the computer. She sounds like a grok girl.

I got a great headless room you could go to if you're looking to have some fun. You can all talk to each other. You got to keep busy over there. It's a headless sex party. She shows up in your chat. It's happened before. You can't even see the boobs. They're all the way down.

You've got to expand windows, then close them quickly. What's the secret to your longevity? All right, now. So this is the question. What's the secret? This is the same question. That's actually a question they asked LeBron James at a press conference. But this is the question now.

We heard a little bit about her, not much. She talks to computers. They talk back to her. She's been around 104 years, not four. and she's about to share with us her secret, Allie, to being 104. What do you think it is? Dude, she's candy crushing it.

Candy crush. She's doing some kind of a phone game and it is keeping her occupado. Omar, what do you think her secret is? She's going to say it's going to be something food related, I want to say. I want to say, you know, enjoy your sweets. Sweets.

Got a sweet tooth. And a sweet tooth. Usually it's all whistling when they say it because you're listening to all them teeth. Sweet tooth. Jake? I play Max's Gathering in a mirror. No way, dude.

That's just you. That's your plan today. That's still a good plan. Stop trying to popularize it. God, we know it's your birthday. No old people are saying magic together with a beer. She said keep your mind sharp and use it. Vanessa?

Damn, Jake took it out of my mouth. I was going to say keep your mind sharp. Do some buzz balls. All right, do some buzz balls. Do some buzz balls. Buzz balls. This is what she actually said, if you want to be 104. That's a question that everybody asks the first thing.

We always hiked a lot outdoors. My last hiking trip, I was 85. We hiked six miles up the mountain to a glacier. Wow. She's a hiker. Yeah, but that was like 20 years ago. She was 85. That's so pretty.

What the hell? Six miles uphill at 85 years old? I'm saying it's impressive, but she's now 20 years past that, and she's still going back. This is like someone still talking about their high school football accomplishments. I hiked 20. It's like every girl on their dating profile. Yeah, right. But I mean, this is like.

I hiked once. She says it's her secret, and 20 years ago she did it. My last hiking trip, I was 85. We hiked six miles up the mountain to a glacier. Camped and carried our packs. We camped and carried our craps? Packs. Oh.

She crapped a crab. Camped and carried her packs. So outdoors is a lot, helps a lot. Yeah. Always after you. You know, it's nice to take every day as it comes. You get up and you say, I'm thankful for this day. So her secret is outdoors.

Why are you all laughing at her? They think she's doing stand-up. Anyway, that is her secret. She says outdoors. Got to get outdoors more. I mean, technically, when you're 104, a hike could be just walking from an Uber to the door. Yeah, so congratulations to that lady and thank you for sharing

with us your secret. We will all use that so that we too can live forever. We take a quick break. We're back in a moment. The show continues after this. If you need us 800-520-1067 you can, in fact, let me just I've been not putting these calls on throughout the show today because I didn't think anyone

cared, but because we're running out of show. Go ahead, Natalie. You're on KROQ. Good morning. Good morning, KROQ. Oh, this is so exciting. I can't wait to tell my dad I got on the radio. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. I wanted to say happy birthday to Jake and also say my birthday was two days ago and my stepsister's birthday is today and we're all Leos and we're awesome. Well, happy birthday to your stepsister.

I'm glad that we could take a moment to give her a birthday shout out. Birthday, Bruce! Does she listen? Thank you. She is not in California right now, so I don't know. Someone's stepsister in a different state. I think it's important that we cover that. I'm glad we took some time to do that.

Hey, I'll still let her know. I mean, she'll like the attention regardless. So you're calling to wish Jake a happy birthday, but really you're calling to say your birthday was two days ago. I'm saying, I'm trying to say that we're all Leos and we're awesome. Yeah. Oh, got it. What'd you do for your birthday?

I got my hair done and I look five years younger and that's all I wanted. Sounds awesome. You want to send us a picture? What was that? You want to send a picture? A picture? Can I send it to the text line? Yeah.

Okay, I'll send you a picture. All right, all right. She's right. Leos are awesome. I was on the fence before this call, but now I can agree as well. You're either going to determine that I'm a good person or a bad person based on the following. And not that it really matters your opinion. I already know the answer.

No, no, you don't. And I actually think that you guys take a second before you just all lock in on bad person yet again, bad person. because the... One, two, three, bad person. Bad person. Bad person. I haven't even told the goddamn story yet.

So what's the point? I'll just play a song. Bad person, moving on. Okay. I come across a man at my local CVS any time I'm going in or out of there

and he is... He's an unhomed individual. Homeless, I thought. Bum. You're trying so hard to be PC. What is wrong with him? Unhoused is what they're saying. He's not a...

No homo. He's an unhomed freak. Homo? No homo. No hobo. Is he a bum? Yeah, he's a bum. All right.

Nice guy, though. Just say bum. Yeah, I say bum. Yeah, he's hobophobic. I'm not hobophobic. Want to do that person? He's a nice man who doesn't have a house. All right?

He's houseless. All right, okay. Is this what you told him? Yeah, I know the situation. Hey, reminder, dude. I've seen it. You got no house. Bye.

And you're a bum. I don't say those things to him. I say hi to him. I acknowledge him. Most people, they look the other way. They completely ignore. I don't make eye contact, because that'd be weird, but I definitely head not in his general direction.

While looking down at the ground? And occasionally, when I actually do have money or change, which is rare, but I... You just throw it at him? I chuck it at him, and I say, pick it up. Chase this. And on some of the really hot days, like it's been recently, when I go in there...

You spit on him? I leave with a cold drink that I'll buy at the register. Oh, that's nice of you. If they have a buy one, get one. and I'll give it to him on the way out and I'll say, here you go. So that's his spot? He's there every day?

Always, always there. What kind of drink are you giving him? It depends what I'm getting. I usually give him whatever I get. Does he ever ask for anything? He's kind of, at this point, we're past that point of him asking for stuff because there's been enough times now

where I think he recognizes me and I recognize him. I'm the guy with the house. He has no house. But we kind of do an exchange like, hey, what's up, what's up? And then now I know what he's up. And sometimes I give him stuff.

And sometimes I'm like, hey, sorry, not today. And then sometimes I'm like, hey, I got you a cold water. And he goes, oh, man, I really appreciate that. Thanks so much. And I know that some people go, you're not supposed to feed the pigeons or feed the, you know. So homeless guys are pigeons? No. Jesus.

My God, he's a person. You guys are taking what I'm saying and twisting it. What are you getting at here? What I'm saying is I'm about to say a really nice thing I did. What did you give him, breadcrumbs? Don't feed the animals? Throwing rice at them? What are you doing?

Some businesses do not like it when you support panhandling near the business because then the people set up shop there. Don't want to go anywhere. It's not good for business. They loiter around, yeah. I'm pretty sure CVS will be just fine. I don't think they're hurting. I think people need to go in there and get their meds and whatever else.

I think they are, but... Well, whatever. It's not because of this guy. And this guy, you know, he seems like a nice guy who's down on his luck. Anyway, long and short of it is, this past weekend, my wife is convinced that we have a cockroach infestation in the house. She's convinced of it. So she decided that we need to get rid of every open

food container in the house. Well, that's not going to do anything. I said, what you were saying is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. She wants to get rid of all food? Anything that's been opened. Anything that has been opened in any way, shape, or form she thinks could have potentially been cockroach contaminated. And I said, that is idiotic and stupid and this is a giant waste of food. And I

won't stand for it. Is that what attracts them anyway? I mean, it's not like, have you ever seen a cockroach eating a sandwich? No, they're just kind of around. I don't think that's what attracts them, but in her mind that's what it is and also she thinks anything that was open a bag of chips cockroach probably went in there rubbed its body around and got out oh yeah well they do do that so she's got this whole plan about getting rid of everything i said i'm not doing it and then i it hit me i said you know what you want to go ahead and take all the food that you think is unsavory put it in these

bags shopping bags i got a guy i'm going to bring them to because this guy what a haul for him yeah right what a haul so we spend we go through and there's a lot of fighting going on internally about what has been tainted and what has not been tainted because I'm like, this is like a thing of Oreos. 80% of the Oreos are here. They're in great shape.

What are we doing here? I don't want to get rid of them. You know, she goes, have roaches been spotted inside the pantry? Yeah. Or wherever you keep your stuff?

There have been, listen, there has been a roach that has been spotted multiple times. I'm convinced it's the same roach. She's convinced

it's multiple roaches and she thinks it's a full-on infestation. Where are the roaches in the house? Where are the sightings? Under the sink in the kitchen.

And it's been spotted in the pantry before it's been spotted. Oh. Scurrying, a little quick scurry. Scurry with those weird-ass legs. Okay, well, yeah, that's horrifying. But not, I've never seen it in the food. I've never opened a container and seen it in the food. I feel like we all got roaches.

Let's just accept it and move on with life, right? No, I think you need to burn the house down. So, anyway. In the pantry. We put together about three, four good shopping bags full of stuff. And a lot of it is in pretty good shape. And I throw in some drinks and other stuff. and I say, I'm going to go give this to my guy.

I got a guy that would probably appreciate this. And the plan after you donate all this is to then buy more food and open it? The plan is she wants it. I didn't think about the next step of the plan. The plan is that... It's open the peanut butter up. Got to go.

The plan is she wants... Are you going to buy food like one-time use now? She wants... Just eat one cracker. We're done with this box. She wants everything to go. in like sealed containers.

So now we're buying tons of containers? Well, we have some, but I don't know where the lids are. But anyway, it's a stupid plan. I told her this, but at some point you only fight for so much. And I decide, let's do some good. So I pack all the stuff up and go over there, and there's my man sitting right there outside, most people ignoring him,

avoiding him. And I go, hey, I got something for you today. And I open up the car, and I take out bag one. And the guy's so appreciative. and then I take out bag two and he's like, oh my god, take out bag three. Now I take out the fourth bag of stuff

and he could not be happier. He was the happiest I've ever seen him. Are you guys on a first name basis? I don't know his name. I just say, hey man. Pigeon man. I don't say that. And he was happy.

I've seen him happy. And then Bruiser, who's sitting in the car with me because she wanted to go do the delivery with me, says, as we get back in the car, She goes, enjoy the cockroach food. No way. She thought she was being funny, huh? I don't know what she thought.

I don't know what she thought. And the guy looked like so sad again. And then I felt like I had to explain to him. You went back? I didn't drive. I didn't completely drive off yet. I was driving off and she just unrolled the window and said, enjoy the cockroach food. That just seems like a bad prank.

It's cold. And I said, listen, here's the, I said, I don't even know where to start here. We don't have cockroach problem, but I'm clearing out, I'm clearing out some food and I was going to throw it out. I thought maybe he'd want it. And I felt like at this point now I'm being a dick. What did he say? It's fine.

Don't worry about it. But he's like hanging his head. No, he seemed appreciative because a lot of the stuff in there was sealed. Like I did put stuff in there that was sealed. Was he picking at it like a pigeon? So anyway. Don't eat too much rice. It'll explode your stomach.

One, two, three. Bad person. Bad person. Great. Thanks. Just stop trying to help. 3-2-3 said your leaf blower could have cured this cockroach problem. No problem.

Now we got a solution. Vanessa, good person? Like middle. Great. Mid-person. Mid-person. Mid. Thank you.

All right. I'll take that as a win. It's K-Rock Clan, Ally Shirts. It's not Ally. She held one in yesterday for 50 minutes, she told us. I did, during my workout. Johnny walked in the studio and says it smells like fart in here, but Allie claims yesterday she had the ability to hold it in for 50 minutes.

But Jake's been in the studio a ton today. Oh, maybe that's it, too, because it smells like fart, and it smells like feet a little bit. It's been a lot of in and outs today with Jake. Jake thinks because it's his birthday, he can just walk in. He gave me a beer. He wants me to have a birthday beer with him. Yeah, do a birthday brew.

It's probably Klein's smelly food he brought in. What'd you bring in, Klein? What do you got? An old salad. A leftover salad. leftover salad. It's not smelly. Jake, I'm going to crack this birthday beer. I'm not really in the mood for it now, but happy birthday, dude. Thanks, man.

I don't want this, but happy birthday. That's a good koozie you got. It's Budweiser and a warm Uncle Koozie. It's the band he likes. Those are the homies. That's his wiener schnitzel. I love that he handed that to you thinking you would enjoy any part of that. Thanks, Jake. This has been a lot of fun.

Cool. Thanks, bro. See you at the DMV later. Just ordered your pizza. Aren't you glad you have him as a friend? Yeah, show bros. The price of that pizza went up, by the way. It did? How much was it? Inflation sucks.

Jake, tell them thank you, man. It's like an $80 pizza. Thank you, dude. Jake's so unappreciative. I like it. I like it more than a lighter. Add extra meatballs. This year, maybe add more ricotta.

That would be nice if you can call back and add extra ricotta. Hey, Kat in Pacifica, good morning. You're on KROQ. Hi. Good morning. Happy birthday, Jake. Thank you. Don't humor him.

Do you want to come down and have a birthday beer? i would love to i'll crack a white claw right now with you no don't count has been beer jesus christ cute woman calling and laughing and wishing you happy birthday and he's still like turning her off uh we got one question for johnny it's a uh postmaster johnny in the studio now and here we go johnny doesn't know and i was like okay oh johnny doesn't know i didn't know Vegas was, like, in data for, like, a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know.

Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It, like, goes... Wiggles. All right, Johnny. Yeah. Here's your question. You don't need to know the answer, Kat.

You just have to predict, will Johnny know the answer? What is F. Scott Fitzgerald known for creating? Will Johnny know this, yes or no? Oh, man. I want to have faith in my boy. I'm going to guess no, because I really want a Sweet Divots hat. Okay. Oh, yeah.

Up for grabs. You get your pick of the limited edition. I think we're almost out of the Make Alley Fat Again hats. Those went real quick. Oh, we have a ton of those, actually. Oh, we do? Yeah, we have like a whole box of those. How ironic.

We're running out of Sweet Divots. We only have like two Sweet Divots left. Okay, well, she wants a Sweet Divots hat. So, once again, if she gets it right, she wins. Johnny, the question is, what is F. Scott Fitzgerald known for creating? Will Johnny know this, yes or no? She says no. Kat, is that your answer, no?

I'm guessing no. I have a feeling he'll dance around it like Johnny does. I want to have faith in him, but I have to say no. All right, Johnny, here's the question. Think about this. F. Scott Fitzgerald, known for creating. Not John F. Kennedy. That's a different F.

All right, you've ruled out one. That's a different F. You're going to rule out all the Fs? Yes. All right, we're talking about F. Scott Fitzgerald. F. Scott Fitzgerald. is an author, and he created The Great Gatsby.

Wow. What? Yeah. Kat, we have nothing for you. That sucks. Kat, you played yourself, but I'll send you a hat because it's...

You only get the Allie one, though. You can't send me that. You only get the Allie one? Sure. Allie is not fat. She will be. Not yet. She's not.

It's a work in progress. You're just looking at the origin story now. Just wait. Congratulations. You got the hat, but not the one you wanted. So the punishment for losing. Takeaways next on KROQ.

All right, let's get the hell out of here and do some takeaways. Sluggle will be in in moments. Got another shot for you to hop on that standby boarding list if you want to be a part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. Another chance to get on that list at noon. Then again at 3 and 6, so we can get you to shake your knees in Atlanta. 50 bands, including Jimmy World, who you'll be seeing at least right here locally at the Hollywood Bowl and then potentially again in Atlanta.

Ernst Stiles and many others. We got all those details up at KROQ, I'm sure, if you need us. between now and tomorrow morning. You can use that GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT, or you could jump in on the Instagram, Klein Alley Show. Also, I've just noticed, I was not looking at our Instagram, we've been accused of something on there by multiple people over the last 24 hours.

What? And I'd like to address this now before it kind of escalates, but we have been accused of having class. No. And I just want you to know that we do not stand for that accusation in any way, shape, or form. I think this pertains to us having John DeSantis on with us yesterday after that entire on-air staff at KCAL from the Inland Empire was all unceremoniously just fired at the same time as the radio station overlords decided we don't need humans here. We'll just run this thing like a robotic jukebox and basically saying to all of the human connections that we try to make so hard on a daily basis, they mean nothing.

And I thought that was the right thing to do, have him on and let him use our airwaves to say goodbye to his listeners. But many people have accused us since then, Ali. of being a classy bunch. And I want you to know that I speak for Omar specifically when I say we are not that. That is true. And here's proof of that. I'll be fine just kind of eating applesauce

and crapping myself for a little while. That's class right there. I'm still employed, unfortunately. So if you are a new listener and you are under the impression that we have any sort of level of decorum or class, hopefully you are not. There's a mess of applesauce and crap to prove otherwise.

That's just a standard. Play another one at random. I'm sure this will once again prove that this show has very little class in any way, shape, or form. And I will stand up against any accusations made against us that say the contrary. All right. See you next year. Maybe I'll have boobs by then. There you have it.

Now that's class. That's class. All right. Takeaways from today's show. What do we got? Whoa, that's a giant dong. Oh, nice. That is class.

Class just keeps on coming. We are oozing with class. Okay, let's see. 213, my takeaway is get ready for M. Night Shyamalan's next movie. What's that smell? 818, my takeaway is Klein doesn't have a pansy-ass garden bag. That's right. I don't have a sweet-ass leaf blower.

It's currently been confiscated by me because it was too dusty in here for Allie and her pregnant sensibilities. Well, yeah, I don't want a bunch of dust mites crawling up my nose during the show. 310, Dolly Parton was right about Jolene. 818, we need more clam slams. 714, Minions and Monsters is a masterpiece. 208, my takeaway is DMT. I'm dynamite. That was a new song a la carte today, courtesy of Vanessa.

503, Don't Feed the Homeless Pigeons. 323, Leos are not awesome. And 818, my takeaway is everyone wants Fat Alley, but not the hat. That's a good point. If you don't know what we're talking about, listen to more of the show. available to download wherever you get your podcasts or you can check us out on YouTube. Streaming there live right now and then the

episode will go up for you to watch after the fact. Go ahead and share it with some friends or people that don't know about us so we can hashtag grow the show. Take away Vanessa. Jake is dope and a dope. Jake is dope and a dope. Well said. Johnny, you got a take away from today's show? Klein is a hobophobic.

I'm not a hobophobic. Quite the opposite actually. I love the hobos. Spare change. Take the guy home with you, then. Shower him up. Send him on his way. Give him a start on life, you know?

I mean, now he... It's like, you know, pretty woman. The expectations you've given this guy now. He's gotten four bags of groceries. What are you going to bring him next? That's it. I'm going to go to a different CVS from now on. I'm moving CVSs.

You have a takeaway there, Jake, birthday boy? Yeah, Klein can't handle much, but he can't handle .73 horsepower. Well, it says 650-whatever is on there, so it sounds like a lot more than it is, but it's .65. Actually, it's probably .65. It's not even one. You say that leaf blower I bought is not even one horsepower? I guarantee it.

Oh, that's sad. Well, another takeaway was that you suck at blowing. Fine, so I can't be homophobic if I suck at blowing. Allie, a takeaway? My takeaway is you can hang any picture with enough lighter fluid. Sure can. Omar, takeaway? My takeaway is that Jake is rich with ants and crickets

and smells like fart and feet. The whole studio smells like that now. Happy birthday. Hey, that's my new dating profile. We'll be at the DMV in Glendale. DMV. After the show today, if you want to go ahead and see Jake there, he's going to be the one guy sitting there with a birthday hat on.

So he'll be easy to spot. All right, have a good day. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do a better body. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Just, just, just, just okay.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. All right, this episode of Clown and Allie's show, the podcast has come to an end. But if you haven't heard the big news, we are now on YouTube. That's right. Mr. Beast and us, the two most important things on YouTube. We're YouTube sluts now, and we're proud of it. You can watch the show. We recommend you do.

In fact, it makes us look good to the bosses and the people who make decisions around here. So please, even if you don't want to see what we look like, and I don't blame you, if you could, go to KROQ's YouTube, subscribe, maybe even leave a comment or two under some of our videos, and you can watch us live every single morning on YouTube and watch the show after the fact when they upload it as a real big afterthought. And of course, you can always follow us on Instagram at Klein Alley Show and listen to the live show on the radio at KROQ 1067 on the Odyssey app or probably a better app. God, what have you done?