Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Johnny Is A Pussy. Happy Birthday Magic Johnson! (FULL SHOW 8/14)

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

Today we learned the one surprisingly simple activity couples should be doing together to strengthen their relationship during Clickbait, then somehow "honored" legendary composer John Williams by attempting yet another of his iconic scores using nothing but children's instruments. One lucky listener walked away with tickets to see him at the Hollywood Bowl, and we all walked away with no musical talent. We also gave the latest update on her massive helicopter gender reveal happening this weekend, while Klein desperately tried to convince everyone to get excited for the team's upcoming "Backyard Hang." The problem is that nobody on the show seemed even remotely interested, aside from Jake, making it one of the least-hyped parties ever. Rounding out the morning, rising KROQ artist Julia Wolf stopped by to talk about her breakout single "In My Room," her upcoming tour, and a wild coincidence, she and Ally attended the same college. Naturally, the conversation immediately veered into whether Julia's college experience included the same questionable extracurriculars as Ally's, including taking ecstasy and masturbating in a dorm bathroom. Turns out, not everyone has the same college memories.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's a pubescence. I am just a dumb guy.

Dirt, dirt, dirt. Oh, God. It's not about that Monday, Tuesday. No one cares about Wednesday. Thursday. Yeah, I'm Casey. Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end?

Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, trash Thursday, Friday, forget about that Friday, Saturday, Wednesday Sunday, sleeping in Eating brunch Wishy potions

Cooking some wishy potions Eggs! Woah, you little bee It's the beach or it's the mall Just take a look Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the real end? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend?

Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend?

Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend?

Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the rerun? No! Like the official soundtrack of hobos right here. It's Klein Outtakes.

106.7 KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Thank God it's Friday! Welcome to a Friday. Welcome to your first week of school or welcome to your continued summer. It's that weird time now where you don't really know how people are vibing, But we're together again.

Today was going to be pool party, backyard keg day. But Allie's already faking sick because she doesn't want to go. I'm not faking. I'm going to go. So it's really interesting how Jake came in here. He's got a tank top on. He's yelling, going, woo, pool party day. Yeah, baby.

He's all excited to have something on his social calendar, which is usually wide open. Meanwhile, Allie comes in here with a sniffle. She's going, I don't know. I think I'm under the weather. I'm still coming. I don't think you're invited anymore. You're out. It's outdoor.

I never said I wasn't coming. I just don't feel well. You said you're feeling sick. I am. I'm not going to lie to you. You're feeling sick, which means... I'm run down. Omar's birthday party, which, by the way, happy birthday, Omar.

Oh, thank you. The big birthday boy. You leave him out of this. I'm not leaving. Just to clarify, here's who's RSVP'd no to Omar's birthday party slash backyard pool party slash kegger. Omar is out. Yep. Allie is questionable.

I will go. I brought my swimsuit and my swim cap. Johnny claims he's wearing his bathing suit already. He came into work wearing his bathing suit. I got it ready to go under my shorts right now. Thank you. I don't see the point in that. You can really just quickly change.

I'm not going to have my stuff out. I got bathrooms out, dude. But then you got Jake. I can't wait to use your bathroom. Jake's already used me. Great. And then Vanessa, who's begrudgingly going. Yeah, I feel like Vanessa also is wondering when she has to leave to get back to Long Beach before rush hour.

I just think every time we do something, I feel like it's truly forced. I do feel it in my heart that it's forced. But then it's happening, and I was like, oh, that wasn't so bad. Great. It's because, believe it or not, I knew. That wasn't so bad. That's exactly. That's, you know, that's why this whole forced summer idea we had was a stupid idea to begin with.

Because it really is. Vanessa's right. It feels forced. Forced fun is still fun. Well, Monday we'll be able to announce real fun. Because after this thing has gotten now too big to handle in my own backyard, we've decided to really. Too big is five people. Well, now it is.

But it started to get to a point where it was exploding fast. It was, yeah. To 11 people, and I don't know if I could have handled it. So the good news is that Monday we'll be able to announce one final good summer hang for us all. And I think that this will make everyone more than satisfied. It'll be way better than anything I could have put on in my backyard. Trust me, you won't have FOMO from today, okay? I think officially you can't call what you're doing today a party.

No, you can't. That's why you're going to do a real party. Yeah, I think it's more of just like a kickback hangout. It's me stopping by your house on the way home. Thank you. That's exciting. I knew it was going to be exciting when yesterday you texted a picture of four beers on a car seat. And you said, get ready.

I was showing Jake that I got his Floffelnager. That's not even my brand. It's actually not. Oh, it's not? It's not? I was hoping you were joking. No, I bought those for you. But how sweet is the sentiment, Jake?

Yeah, I got everyone their favorite drinks. Except for me. You got Vanessa juice boxes. Cool. Ah, funny. Did you get me a Gatorade? You know it. There's some in the fridge.

You'll grab them on the way out. Yeah, bring your own Gatorade. What'd you get for me? I made you a pregnancy sangria. Just grape juice and fruit. No, you spiked it with something. Yeah, a little something. Yeah, I'm just catching up on the podcast here.

And I'm on the parts where bitch boy Klein is supposedly having a kegger at his house but there's so many f***ing rules in it. Um, but if the rules were reversed and someone else had to do this kegger and those rules were in place, he'd be the first one f***ing bitching and complaining about, ah, you gotta do this, this, and that, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, right. By the way, I'll be complaining about my own. You trust me.

I will be the first person to complain about how bad this is going to be. Yeah, well, I mean, you intended on it being a certain way, and then I think because your wife works from home, it got a little dicey there. And it's on a weekday in the middle of the day. She wasn't happy about it. But I'm trying to squeeze in before the kids are done with school. This is a lot of rules going against us right now. There is like a two to three hour window there. Yeah, we have a window, a small window before they're home and everything gets ruined.

Man, that guy is such a little bitch. Okay, thank you, sir. Thank you. I say you guys just go to his house and kick that fool off. Okay, bye. You kicked me out of my own kegger. That's good. I haven't seen your house.

Let's see that. I only saw your house three houses ago. I can't wait. I've never seen your house ever. Oh, Jesus Christ. I think as soon as we visit, you move. You sure you're not feeling sick, Jake? Oh, I'm sure.

I feel great. Come here so I can cough on you. If you want $500 of Ali's money, I hope you're calling us immediately because it is a $500 Friday, which means you have a chance to take $500 of Ali's cash, and all you have to do is answer some questions about the news. That'll be coming up in moments here at KROQ. So the number, once again, is 800-520-1067 or 323-TIP-BOLI if you're nasty. You can call the show and participate and battle Ali and take her money.

And then later this morning, we have those Six Flags tickets for you. We'll continue to hook you up with those, get you into the Hollywood Bowl for the maestro of the movies and more tickets to go to the Big Bear MX Grand Prix presented by O'Neill at Bear Mountain Ski Resort. All that is happening this morning on the show before we announce our big, actual end-of-summer kegger, which will be on Monday morning here.

The details that you'll need to know on Monday. Just a reminder that even though when Monday comes around, everyone goes, God damn, I can't believe the weekend was that fast. It'll be worth it because we'll have something to look forward to again before we officially get out of the summer. We've got a couple more weeks. We have a lot to do in the next few weeks, Vanessa still has to go camping.

There's a lot of things we have to knock off the old list there. Yeah, Jake has to do drugs, and I think you still have to have your one-night stand. Yeah, I think I'm going to go with robot because that's my only option. I got some people I can connect you with in that world. So if you need that, we can make that happen for you. If you want a headless person to have sex with, I got you. Bad news. Bad news for one of our listeners.

She is throwing in the towel. No. Hi, Cline and Allie, my favorite people in the whole wide world. I miss you so much. This is Nikki D. um today's my first day back at school it's august 13th nikki d is someone that has been very behind on the show and refuses to listen live because she wants to get caught up and she's always about three months four months behind on the podcast and uh the summer her

big plan going into the summer was she was going to finally catch up on all the old shows so she could be ready to go now here we are she's back at school and i i think i'm about to make a really big decision here. I think I'm throwing in the towel of trying to catch up. My last day of school was June 20th, and I didn't do sh**. I thought I was going to

clean my apartment and listen to podcasts all day and totally be caught up. Yeah, that didn't happen. So now she's way even more further behind. So, I don't know. Maybe it's time to just listen to you guys live again. This has been, I think, two years now of me trying to catch up,

chasing my tail. And, yeah, I don't think I can do it anymore. I really appreciated her effort because she was always so far behind and getting further behind. But I liked hearing stuff that was happening in her world because she had no idea things like, you know, she didn't know. She doesn't probably still know that Allie's pregnant right now because she hasn't caught up to that part of the show yet. I don't think she knows. I started trying again. Right.

So, like, you know, she's at a part where she's like, oh, my God, I'm crying because Allie's IVF failed or whatever. And she doesn't realize that here we are in modern day and Allie's got a kid growing inside of her as we speak. Yeah, this is the same type of person who, when a new season of a show comes out, they have to re-watch all the other seasons. You know, my wife does this where it's like, I'm going to get caught up on X, like Spider-Man. She has spent so much time watching every other movie and going down every other rabbit hole that I'm like, just catch up. Just watch the new thing and fill in the blanks. The world can't wait for you. But that's not the final decision.

I still have to think about it. I really don't want to miss out on stuff that I might have missed out on. Well, you will. You won't know the origin story of eggs. I mean, there's a lot of things you won't know. And then you'll just hear it on the show and say, what's the deal with that? But there's new people checking us out every day for the first time. And they're probably lost at first, too.

So you can just go back to being kind of lost again. That's normal. You know how people go on sleepcations where they just go on a vacation to focus on sleep? She should go on a Klein Alley Showcation where she just spends a week. 72 hours. Catch up. Most of it's crap anyway. And if you listen at two and a half or three times speed.

Yeah, you'll get it done fast. You can get through it really quickly. Although, as this other person pointed out, Ali, sometimes things that we do on the show do not make it onto the podcast. What the heck? I listen for the whole show so I can cry to the Jackie tribute,

and the podcast says, here's the tribute, and goes straight to commercial? What the heck? Give me the tribute, bro! Sorry, we couldn't do the tribute. I think because the tribute was in that Foo Fighters song, Learn to Fly,

that I think, sadly, it wasn't... The licensing issue. Yeah, for whatever reason, and I don't understand, I don't know how it works, but a bunch of our stuff that we put up for you guys to listen to does not officially get put up. You would think Jake would maybe cut out all the here's the tribute lines. No, he leaves all that in and cuts right to commercial.

Speaking of which, we're going to cut right to commercial right now, but as soon as we get back, we will give you $500 of Allie's money if you're up for the challenge. Get on the phones now. 1-800-520-1067. Five questions about the news. You take Allie's money after this quick tribute to Jackie. We're calling Allie's show every Friday.

Allie puts $500 on the line, gives you a chance to take her money. All you have to do is prove you know more about the news than she does. She has lost thousands of dollars in this little thing, Allie Knows the News, and she can't wait to go on maternity leave so she doesn't have to pay out the people, but she doesn't realize that we still play the game when she's gone and then hit her up with a bill when she returns.

Well, I do realize it now that you've told me. Yeah, so I recommend you take as little time off as possible so that you don't lose money to people like Lisa in Pasadena who are waiting on the phone right now to take $500. Lisa, congratulations. You've made it through. A lot of people want it in. You have been selected,

so now all you've got to do is answer more questions right than Allie, and you get $500 cash, all right? Right. Sounds great. Hi, you guys. Hi, hi. Good morning. Allie's going to leave. Hi, Linton. Oh, boy. All right, it's just trash talking. Allie's going to leave the K-Rock Studios now. You get to

go first. She'll be sequestered, and as soon as you start answering these questions, we get through your round. She'll come back and answer the same questions. If you do better than she does, you get paid. If you guys tie, sadly, ties go to the house, and your round of Allie Knows the News, The Lisa edition for $500 starts right now. Allie knows the news.

Today is the birthday of a Los Angeles great by the name of Magic Johnson. How old is Magic Johnson today? 75. 75. We've got a question number two. Shadow, speaking of SoCal greats, is an eagle that apparently now, according to video that has surfaced in the last 24 hours, is hanging out and entertaining a new friend in his nest.

I mean, Jackie's not even cold yet. Poor Jackie. Who is the bird that Shadow is being seen playing with over the last 24 hours? Oh, my gosh. I saw this. I know this. Janet.

Janet. We got a question number three. There was a brawl that has gone quite viral that took place at a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant between a couple of ladies brawling at a Beverly Hills restaurant. What restaurant had a brawl that took place inside of it? Ladies fighting each other. Was it at the Beverly Hills Hotel?

Beverly Hills Hotel. We go to question number four. Krispy Kreme has officially now announced their collaboration with Who, and those donuts will be available starting August 18th. Who is Krispy Kreme collabing with? need an answer Dunkin Donuts that would be some interesting collab right there

believe those guys are mortal enemies and we go to this final question because of the bird flu and a feather shortage the price of what has skyrocketed need an answer in 3 2

one. Time is up. Let's bring Allie in. We'll score it together and see how you did. You got at least four answers delivered officially and let's see if any of them are right. Allie's re-entering the KROQ studios now. She claims that she knows a thing or two

about the news, which is why she delivers it on the show every day with the ADD news. And let's figure out if she's on the right page this morning. 500 bucks up for grabs. Allie's nervous. Question one. Today is the birthday of a Los Angeles great, a legend by the name of Magic Johnson. How old

is Magic Johnson as of today? Yikes. 58? 58. She said 75. The great Magic Johnson. And it's hard to tell because that guy is ageless and ageless. He doesn't look like anything's changed him. That's the theme of

every birthday party. It really is. 67 today. Whoa! Magic Johnson, 67. Good old 32 for the Los Angeles Lakers. My boyhood idol is 67 today. Big news for me. What are you going to do to celebrate?

Well, that's why I didn't realize, Omar, you share a birthday with Magic Johnson. Yeah, I did, didn't I? Two of my favorite people. And you know what? I think I'm going to cross out Omar on that birthday cake since he's not going to come anyway and write Magic. Oh, there you go. I like that you're having a birthday party for all these people that aren't coming. Yeah, it's now a backyard party for Omar slash Magic Johnson.

We go to question number two. And by the way, she didn't get that right either, so no one gets the point. We go to question two. shadow has been seen frolicking and playing with a new eagle now inside of his nest. Video footage surfacing over the last 24 hours that shows who is

shadow hanging out with now? Katie. Katie 1. She said Janet. Janet was a made up name. I don't believe we have a bird name Janet yet, but temporarily yes, Katie 1 has been hanging out in the nest and they're not sure yet if this is a sexual

thing. They don't even know if Katie is a male or female at this point. Whoever it is, they're dancing on her grave. But they are there hanging out. They're just like tearing apart her little nest. Moved right in. Already brought a toothbrush. We go to question number three. Allie's on the board. One nothing as we go to question three right now in this very exciting $500

Friday edition of Allie Knows the News. There was a brawl that took place at a Beverly Hills restaurant involving two females. It's gone quite viral. Which restaurant that you would not expect was home of a brawl between a couple of ladies? Two ladies.

God, I don't even... Tell you what, they weren't fighting over the bill. No, you pay. No, you pay. Guarantee you, that was not the cause of the brawl. I don't even know restaurants out there. Alfred's? What are you...

I don't know. Are you just making up what you think sounds fancy? Yeah, I don't know. Alfred's? The coffee place? Yeah, I don't know. All right, she said Beverly Hills Hotel. That's at least a fair guess.

It's a fancy hoity-toity Beverly Hills. Is there a Craig's? I'm shocked. Craig's would have been a great guess. Spago? I can't believe you had to say Spago. Good brawling spot. Okay.

This was apparently a very fancy steakhouse called Steak 48. Oh. And brawl videos all over TMZ if you want to see a couple of ladies not fighting over the bill at Steak 48. We go to question number four. No one gets the point. Krispy Kreme, we go high end, we go low end, is now collabing with what? Donuts will be out on August 18th. A collaboration between Krispy Kreme and who?

Hmm. Disney? I know they've got a lot of announcements coming up. Maybe there's some kind of a Disney collab. She said Dunkin', which would be interesting. Disney is not right, but close, Allie. It's the Pokemon collab. Krispy Kreme Pokemon collaboration.

I did see that, yep. And we go to this final question. Allie's still up one. Do you think they've ever turned down a collaboration? No, no. I think they're like Kevin Hart. They just say yes to everything. We should ask.

We should. See if Krispy Kreme, Vanessa, make a note. Will Krispy Kreme collab with us? I bet you we'll be the first person they say no to. Question five. This is the last one. Because of bird flu, feather shortages are taking place, and the price of what has skyrocketed? Feather shortages?

That's right. Bird flu leads to feather shortages, and now the price of something is skyrocketing. Eggs. Eggs. Is that your guess? Eggs? Yeah. I know there was a recall for eggs.

Because of the feather shortage? Because of bird flu. There was a big bird flu thing that led to the price of eggs skyrocketing last year. This is one of my favorite words to say that we're almost not allowed to say on the radio, but under context, we can. And the price of shuttlecocks for badminton have skyrocketed. What? Where are you getting this information? This is a huge, huge news story.

Look it up. Guys, look up shuttlecocks. This is all in the top of the weird news section of Yahoo News. Krispy Kreme, big deal. And it's Magic Johnson's birthday, 67. Aren't those shuttlecocks made out of plastic? No, wrong. The good ones. Look up the price of shuttlecocks.

I've never seen one made of feathers. Yeah, me either. Listen, look up right now. They're not even in the Olympics, are they? Yes. Vanessa, Google shuttlecocks right now and spell it very carefully or you're going to get some bad pictures you don't want to see. Shuttlecocks?

There you go. Say it one more time. You Google what you think I said. Oh, I barely heard you. Shuttlecocks. Oh, okay. See what comes up as the top story. Are they made from feathers?

No, no. It's the top story. I got a specialized 75 cock show video cable. So I spelt it wrong. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, you don't want to click that? She's getting a video.

Oh, Wayne. Don't click on that. No feather shortage there. Don't click on that video, Vanessa. My computer's going to melt down. All right. Well, anyway, Lisa, this has been fun. And sadly, you leave with no money.

Allie was able to beat you by one in a very difficult round, the $500 Friday edition. What must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead, Lisa. This is Lisa from Pasadena, and Allie knows the news. All right, here's the good news. Next week, we have more people playing for Ali's money, another $500 Friday. Any luck, Vanessa, over there, or is your computer in meltdown mode?

I think she's finishing. Okay. Unicorn. Unicorn. We'll get into more show after Incubus on the World's Famous Karaoke. Apparently, yesterday and this week, there were a couple of shakers in California. Northern California got a few. I think Oakland got some shakers yesterday.

They apparently have been up and down this fault line. People are very concerned. There's been a lot of talk about are these little shakers going to trigger the big one, and we're next in line, and we've seen the big one happen. I mean, it was Colombia earlier this week, and it was Japan last week, and there's been a lot of these seven-pointers that have been hitting all over the place. Vanessa's convinced it's our turn next, and we talked about do you have a plan? Are you prepared? Do you have your go-bag ready or your bucket of supplies in case you have to survive without power? Do you have your flashlight, your crank radio, all that crap?

This person on the GOAT line has a plan that's very different than any other plan. and I think we should think about this. Hey, you freak me out even more about earthquakes than I've already been freaked out my whole life, but I have a plan. What you want to do on each nightstand is put a professional football helmet. So this guy's plan is on both nightstands next to the bed,

you have two NFL helmets ready to go for you and your partner so that if you wake up, I mean, the odds are it will probably happen middle of the night just because, you know, you spent a lot of time in bed, so you're in bed. Like decor. So on my side, I have the red skins. by Whiteside, the Broncos.

If you wake up in the middle of the night with an earthquake, you reach over, grab the helmet, strap it on. You protected the head, the neck. Now all you need is some shoes. Anything else, Dave? Nope, she has nothing to add. Well, clearly that guy's single. But regardless, it's an interesting plan

that he puts a football helmet next to the bed, which looks like great decor. But if he needs to, he throws that on in case of an earthquake. So why not go with some sort of construction hard hat or something with a button fly slit? Yeah, because it doesn't make as good a decor as clearly the fact that he's rocking an old school... You know, we just put it under the bed, I guess. Construction helmet will just look ridiculous.

Yeah, it's weak, man. Yeah, so this guy's got two football helmets on both nightstands. I have more problems with the teams he chose. Yeah, that's a problem. Which one will God kill first? Right, right. Also, I can imagine just trying to convince your wife to decorate with football helmets next to the bed would be very challenging. Every girl is like, absolutely not.

I'd rather die. need to put a helmet on just to just to announce that to my wife but i do think that the football helmet would be the best option because it covers your ears and everything too the construction hat just goes right on top right but yeah so you'd have more protection i think yeah i guess that is the biggest concern i mean i always think about the eating concept what am i going to possibly eat and how long before we have to go full cannibalism i just assume that it's like all preparation where even though i have a go bag sitting somewhere what are the chances that i am going to be in that location that that go bag will be accessible to me will i even be home when

this is happening when these big earthquakes happen how many people are really using those emergency supplies well or are they just getting to a shelter right i mean most people there would go to a shelter or they would wait to be rescued that's probably your two if it gets bad enough because that's the idea how often are these things being used in emergencies all i will say is that I did not realize that my go bag was my go bag and I thought it was a backpack that my wife had purchased for my kids back to school this year and because I hadn't seen it before and it was bright red so I took all the stuff out that was in it and it was a lot of that you know ready meal crap and everything and I said uh because you know she wanted she didn't have a new backpack

for school which apparently is a big deal because her last backpack had lice or whatever so I gave her the go bag for the first day of school backpack so now my stuff is just loose in the in the closet, all my emergency kit stuff. So your kid's going to school with an emergency backpack? Only day one that she's changed it out now. Apparently it was a big, yeah, it was not cool, I guess. But I kind of feel like most kid

backpacks would be perfect for an emergency situation. I have a bag full of snacks on the ready for most things when you have kids, right? So that's pretty much a go bag. Yeah, but you gotta have the stuff that we don't think about. Like, I don't know why the whistle is so important, but apparently the whistle is huge. Well, if you're

trapped under rubble, But then again, you have to be able to reach the whistle, put the whistle on, blow the whistle, blow it loud enough for somebody to hear. Like, think about the Titanic. How many people actually responded to a whistle? Well, also at that point, you're going to screw it. It doesn't matter. If you're sitting on a melting iceberg blowing a whistle, you're just going to blow on a whistle. What an annoying noise to hear as you die.

Right, but at the end of Titanic, if she hadn't had that whistle, she'd be dead. Can't you just do that? That's God's whistle right there. Is that that old man that can blow a really loud whistle? You need that guy. Like that. So anyway, if you're, I don't know, I guess people now, I don't know why it feels, I know they say we're overdue for the big one. There's a lot of stories about it this week particularly, and then all the shakers yesterday, they're saying that there's some fault line that's like the hidden fault line, and everyone's all freaked out that California's going to break off and float into the ocean.

That'd be kind of nice, actually. 714 said all these earthquakes have freaked me out so bad I just spent $700 on a huge earthquake kit and supplies. But then you also have to keep replacing the supplies because they have expiration dates. Yeah, but you get like 10 good years out of them. And I feel like I know you do. I think you do. Yeah, a lot of it. $700 sounds like so much.

Are you going to lug that stuff around? Yeah, what's in that? Yeah, I'm telling you right now, that thing's probably enough to keep. Some of them will say things like, I got one of those buckets one time that said it could keep me alive for a week, but it was only for two people. So sometimes you got to get enough supplies to keep, you know, six people alive. Earthbite bucket? Yeah, it was an earthquake bucket. Oh, buckets are very valuable.

I know. In the apocalypse, that'll be big currency. But, yeah, oh, yeah. You think you're not doing well now. Wait till after the big one. You got a bucket. You're living life. So I found a $700 earthquake kit.

What's in it? It contains emergency water pouches, a 3,600-calorie emergency food bar. Wow, that's not what. Oh, that's multiple bars. Sorry. Just one of them with 3,600 calories. A water filter, a personal water filter. so you have to, like, pee and turn it into drinkable water.

That's not what that does. A personal water filter? It's not to pee and drink your own urine. If you need to. That's not what that's for, you idiot. Yes, it's to filter the water. Not urine. It's not going to filter.

Eventually, if you have no other option. No, Allie. Why don't you just buy bottles of water? Well, there's emergency water pouches, too, but when you run out, you've got to clean your pee. Then you've got emergency radio, of course. How long are we surviving for? It's like zombie apocalypse stuff.

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Like, this isn't for decades of... Allie, you've got to read the instructions on this kit. Because you're on the second item, and you're already doing it wrong. I don't even use my fridge filter anymore. Yeah. I use my pee.

Okay, great. Also, what happens if you drop $700 on this, and then the big one happens, and you're not even home with your emergency kit? That's what I'm saying, is when are you available to use this and access it? Right, so you've got to wear it around all the time. Work gloves, a paracord, safety goggles, duct tape, emergency signage, an emergency signal mirror. It's all easy for us to joke about this now. But if, you know, when the big one happens, we all go, God damn, if only I had these emergency, if only I had work gloves now, I could move this wire off of me or whatever. And then half of this is useless.

A comb. Who needs a comb? A washcloth? A toothbrush with a cap? I mean, stop. Half this stuff you don't need. Well, that's true. Half of it you don't.

But the stuff you need. But they like to say it has 57 items in it or whatever, you know? So anyway, if anyone would like to use this man's method, he's got two football helmets next to his bed ready for the big one and ready for the NFL season, which is almost here, which is very exciting. We got to take a quick break. Caroline, quickly, though, go ahead. You're on KROQ. Hi. Hi.

Nice to talk to you guys. Nice to talk to you. What's up? So I have to go back online. Right next to my door, I have a radio, and it has food for my cat. It has emergency clothes for us. And then I have a food container that is the stuff that you can buy on Amazon. I have one in my storage, and I have one in the apartment.

When that stuff starts to expire, like, do you feel the need, like, if you go, I've had this before, do you feast on the expired food before it goes bad, like, before you reload it, or is this your first one? Well, these are the first ones, and actually these, when I bought it, it was meant to, it's those kind of stuff that is, like, dried, so it does last for about 25 years. It has that kind of, like, shelf storage. Yeah, but, I mean, let's be honest. If it's not that great tasting or it feels like a little expired. I'd rather eat my family first.

Who are you going to complain to, right? And how are you going to clean your pee? At least it's fresh. I like to go family at a table. 510 said, I work in San Leandro where the earthquake just hit yesterday. I was on the toilet, shook the hell out of me, and I just bought earthquake insurance that costs almost as much as my entire homeowner's policy. So that's the other thing.

We've got all that to look forward to. Preparedness is overrated. Let's get through the big one because Vanessa claims we're in the middle of, quote, dark days right now. So let's get through it as quickly as humanly possible. We'll be right back after this quick break with news and more after this. A.D.D. News now that a brand new hour of the show will officially begin here on KROQ. Grab your Adderall. It's time for A.D.D. News. All the Disney freaks are very excited this morning, waiting for hours in line at the Anaheim Convention Center for D23.

It's the big event where they make all kinds of Disney announcements about new movies, new shows, new attractions. And there are several things that are being revealed very soon. and there are some rumors, so we don't quite know. A lot of people predict that tickets for Avengers Doomsday will be announced to go on sale and then they will also be showing a new trailer for the movie. There's also going to be probably a new Star Wars Starfighter trailer starring Ryan Gosling

and the reveal of a new Marvel character, the OG Human Torch. And then when it comes to parks, I haven't seen anything specific to Disneyland yet, But there's a new Piston Peak National Park that will debut at Magic Kingdom and a new Encanto ride at Disney World that they're kind of debuting what the cars and the ride itself will look like. So I'm sure there's going to be a lot more announcements. And, of course, a lot more people are just in line to buy that merch.

Who do you think has the most passionate of the fan base? Like Disney, Apple? Because I know Apple's got their big announcement coming up. Oh, Disney is much more rabid than Apple, yeah. You think that's like the most hardcore fan base? You put that above like Dodgers? above lakers the fact that people have been in line for hours already just to buy merch for this it's not even attending it's just buying merch at a specific store but how many of those people

do you think are doing it just for the resale market like they know that they can get their hands on it and put it on ebay that's all part of it it's all part of the fandom yeah but i would argue that people would would say i'm not saying i feel this way but you're not if you're just buying it to resell it and profit off it you're not a real fan at all whereas if you're buying They are fans, though. I think they're reseller fans. Yeah, I'm sure there's people, like you're saying, that don't care about the Disney part at all. And they just want to buy stuff and resell it.

But there, I feel like I've seen the videos of people being like, this is the new, you know, Mickey's holding a coffee cup. There's no shirt like this. You know, they know everything about Disney. And that's why they know what's valuable and what's not. So you put the Disney fanboy, fangirl, whatever, as the most extreme of anything? More than the, did you see the line for the Hello Kitty stuff at the Dodgers game? Oh, God, that's tough, yeah. Those Hello Kitty people, who would win in a brawl between the Hello Kitty diehards and the Disney diehards?

Yeah, I have a niece who every year for the birthday, I'm like, what does she want? Still Hello Kitty. Still. Still. I mean, since she was nine years old until 16 years old. And I don't know. Still a Hello Kitty. I'm going to make a statement that's probably going to be very unpopular, but I don't believe that there is a Hello Kitty slash Disney.

I think that you pick a camp. I don't think there's anyone who's like diehard both Hello Kitty and Disney. And am I an idiot? Is there even a movie or is it just the characters? Like, did they even have to do anything? Disney has movies, yes. No, no, I mean Hello Kitty. I know.

They have a cartoon, I think. Do they? I feel like they don't even have to do anything, but just be like, here are more characters, buy them. Vanessa, are you in the Hello Kitty world? No. I don't like toys. Wow.

Did it start off as a comic strip? Is that right or no? I also starred in several cartoons and anime series over the years. Oh, okay. What I heard is it started after, like, to create kawaii culture after World War II. Like, they created it so Americans could, like, sympathize with them, I think. Right. I'm sure that's historically is not right.

Which one of the following was the least accurate answer to that? Probably Johnny's, I would guess. Okay. So Disney might be getting ready for Halloween and Christmas already as well, but one woman is not happy that the holidays are starting early. She made the mistake of going to a Costco, which is always three seasons ahead of everybody else. And she was not happy with what she found. Klein, I don't know if you agree with this woman, but she's not happy with Costco.

I'm at Costco right now. Explain why the f*** is the dead of summer and they got f***ing Halloween decorations all over this bitch. Child, it was just 4th of July. Like, look at this raggedy-ass Teemu Dracula for $400. And then they have this f***ing ass Bear Ghost for $90. I came here to shop for a skimpy-ass bikini to get my hot girl summer on. And they replaced it with f***ing inflatable skeleton bulls***. Oh, my God, y'all.

They even have Christmas decorations out now. Who the hell is Christmas shopping in 95-degree weather? I'm about to lose my shit. Listen, she's not going to find a hot bikini at Costco any time of the year. So she's already in the wrong place for that. Those are full-butted one-piece swimsuits, and they are even put on cardboard mannequins. Yeah, even the mannequins. Two-dimensional cardboard mannequins.

Look not great. No, they're very full-sized. Costco's getting us ready. I'm already buying stuff for Halloween for next Halloween at Costco. And not even this year. Where the hell is the manager up in here? So what Johnny said is completely wrong. Totally.

Thank you. Cool. Where the hell is the manager up in here? I need to know who the f*** thought it was Halloween time in the middle of my hot girl summer. I got the pumpkin spice latte and this s*** good is all s*** out. They need to sell this year round. Once she had a PSL, her mind changed. I'm with you on that.

And I do think for the Costco's and the Target's, because every once in a while, you do roll into Target going, hey, I need to get a raft because it's still pool season for us. Oh, my God. That happened to me last year. And they're like, sorry, maybe check that one random aisle. They said we have nothing. Yeah, we have nothing. We're moving on. I was like, then what are we doing here?

Like, you'd think they'd keep one little section with a few things. I go in person because I need it now. Yeah. I don't need everything to be a season ahead. I will buy all that online. There's an egg problem. There has been a huge multi-state salmonella outbreak tied to eggs that is currently under investigation by the CDC. There have been almost 100 illnesses, 26 hospitalizations.

And, of course, there is a recall happening with millions of eggs across the country. And they say that there might be salmonella eggs sitting in your fridge right now. Oh, boy. Wishy-poshens. Yeah. 1.5 million cartons of eggs have been recalled. So this is across 17 different states and counting. You can just add that into the cyclosporiasis and the other salmonella outbreak and the jalapenos. If anyone's taking a normal turd today, you are beating the odds.

What a time to be pregnant. We get into a brand new hour of the show at this exact moment. So you're in the right place at the right time. Here we go. This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah, welcome to your weekend, and good morning. If you're listening, I'm K-Rock, like the good Lord intended. Nice to meet you. I'm Klein. There's Allie. Hi.

That is birthday boy DJ Omar Khan right there, Jake Z-Nerd. He's got no sleeves on today. Sun's out, guns out for Jake. Postmaster Johnny's wearing his bathing suit. And then you've got Vanessa taking the calls. Of course, Ginger Justin, who will be entering into the sun for the first time in his entire life today. We'll see what happens, but he's keeping us afloat on the YouTube right now, so you can go ahead and find us there

as we are streaming live on KROQ's YouTube. This whole party is just to prove whether or not Justin is a vampire. Yeah, we're going to just try to get him in the sun and see what we can do. Well, do you have a fire extinguisher? Doesn't he just, like, burst into flame? I do.

I'm going to put him in one of those retardant, fire retardant, shiny tinfoil things. It's like a bubble boy? Yeah. You got to protect him. Got to keep him safe. He's a national treasure. Do you want another drink in there, Justin?

Gingers only make up, like, 1% of the population or something like that. You know, gingers were brought to this country after World War II, Allie, to help us think of that. You know, someone did say Johnny was correct with that, but he was just off by over 30 years. I am. Look it. It says, cuteness kawaii evolved as a peaceful form of individual expression and a powerful vehicle for national soft power following wartime devastation.

Right. You just threw in World War II. Yeah, but wartime devastation is close. Right. Also, that's not Hello Kitty. It is Hello Kitty. Look at it. It has a whole image of Hello Kitty and everything.

So, anyway, the point is, if you listen to this show, you'll realize we say a lot of very inaccurate things, but every once in a while something about the thing we said that was very wrong is right. There's a nugget of right in all of the wrong. A deep, deep nugget. That's the Easter egg on this show. You just look for the right. It's there somewhere. And that nugget probably is salmonella. It probably

does. This hour on the show, the Box of Shame will ruin one of our weekends as we share with you our deepest, darkest, most shameful secrets. And if you like live music performed on the radio, well, get ready because we have a final pair of tickets for you to go to the Hollywood Bowl, celebrate the maestro of the movies, Another live performance.

The Teemu version of what you will be seeing at the Bowl will be performed in the K-Rock studios. Are you able to figure out what song it is and win your way in? That'll be coming up this hour on K-Rock. We're going to solve one of the Internet's biggest riddles right now. And apparently, if you're in a relationship or you plan on being in a relationship one day, you doing this with your partner together,

something that you wouldn't normally maybe do together, but if you do this thing together, it means that your relationship will be way more satisfying and you have something like a 75% better chance of it staying together, which is interesting. If you think about all the things that you choose to do by yourself, even if you're in a relationship,

you start to go ahead and combining forces on this one particular thing, next thing you know, there's a better chance that the relationship stays together by up to 75%. Those are real numbers. It's time for clickbait. Here we go. All right, so listen to this.

You're doing something. You're in a relationship. This is going to be one of those things where you, like, go to the bathroom with the doors open together. Maybe. Oh, we're way past that. We were there on the second date. That's something normally you would do by yourself. But apparently there's something that if you do with your partner, there's a better chance that the relationship stays together.

And I don't know if that's the goal. I think people always think it's so tragic when we have stories about couples breaking up. And sometimes it is tragic. Other times you go, that ran its course. Ran its course like Jackie and Shadow. Well, but what we're learning, which is interesting, is that the more separated things we do, the happier we are. People who have gotten sleep-divorced, eat-divorced, people getting airport-divorced, where they basically just go on completely separate vacations. Right.

The way to stop an actual divorce is by divorcing all these other parts of the relationship. And just keeping the sex. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Right. Even the whole idea of people have taken the sleep divorce to the next level and some relationships are staying together, but people are moving to like getting a separate apartment situation. Yes, I heard this one woman bought a house one mile away from her husband and said that it saved their marriage. But I'm going to say shopping together, grocery shopping, clothing shopping, picking out a couch, all that stuff. If you shop together, you will stay together.

New study that looked at lots and lots. I'm talking about thousands of couples at all different ages and all different relationship statuses from dating, to marry, whatever, have found that couples who do this together report a happier slash healthier slash better chance of staying together over the long run. So you say it is shop together. Yeah, and if I ever go to the grocery store with my wife, I regret it because she's completely useless at the grocery store. She just sits there on her phone or picks out things that we would never eat. So it's not necessarily true for my relationship. But I think if you are doing those basic chores together, then you feel more connected. It's funny because if I were walking through a mall with my wife, there's not one store in the entire mall that both of us would want to go into.

There's not one. There's not one that exists that I would get excited about and she would be excited about. Not even Costco? She hates Costco. Oh, really? Hates it. Hates it. Hates everything about it.

What's her favorite store? I'm sure some fancy ass place. Fancy store. That you don't even know exists. Arzia, Arisia, something like that. You know, she's always got some bags I see floating around, you know, you know, but if we go to a mall, she wanted to possibly go into a clothing store, makeup, Sephora, something like that.

Nothing for me in there. No, but I think with men and women, it's very different. There's probably a lot less crossover. Cinnabon, I thought we used to agree on, but even that, she's like, I can't eat Cinnabon all the time. What's wrong with you? You're like, what's right with me? Yeah, what's wrong with me?

Have you smelled in there? It's unbelievable. So, Ali says shop together. Jake, what is it? What couples are doing together? Yeah, have you still not been able to pick this up? It's not boning. What?

Not boning together. I think that's a given, Jake. Okay. Well, not for me, Jake. Couples that do what together? I'm going to say workout. That's a good guess. Also not something that works for me in my relationship.

But it could be just like a simple like walk, going on a walk together or whatever. I'll say this. My parents, they're still together. I don't know if they're happy, but they're still together. and they have been walking forever. Walked all over this world. They've been walking since before there were even cars. They're walking at first by necessity.

Of course they're happy. You sent a picture right after they sexed it up. Well, I don't know if that's true. That was a weird-ass picture. Probably a post-walk bang. I don't know if they had just had sex, but the phone accidentally went to FaceTime and they were both laying in bed

and it appeared they were both naked. Yeah. It's like they covered up really quick. And you said your mom will wear a full-on nightgown, nightcap, the whole spiel, and she wasn't wearing any of that. Yeah, like one of those medieval ones that comes with like a candle.

Cool. I want that tree for some day. These nightgowns are like ancient. I can't believe I still go home. Like a hat with it too? Oh yeah, matching hat, matching like booties, I feel like. It's a whole look.

It's a whole getup. She gets ready for bed. It's like she's going to get visited by three ghosts that night or something. What's going on? We'll start with the past. Good night. Omar, what's the answer?

I think... You're married still. Yeah. high school sweetheart it's a beautiful story uh-huh should we remove the sweetheart's part learning something new together i think that's gonna kind of like you know maybe rejuvenate you know something that you had back in the early days and you're both discovering something new and you have something to talk about on a daily so learning something new whether it be uh i don't know dancing or whatever like you know uh ally's wife you know

tap dances maybe you would take on something like that together yeah you both come in as rookies you learn something together then you are both you know you're out of your comfort zone together and you're doing something that's interesting that's probably right actually that's not the answer i have though the answer i have one of you is right is that couples that regularly exercise report better communication fewer arguments stronger conflict resolution resulting in longer happier slash healthier relationships also probably healthier because you're doing some sort of yeah people are probably hot solo exercisers uh found that there was not a statistical significance so the reality is if two people in a relationship are both regular

exercisers but they do not do it together it didn't really change the happiness level at all but it was the idea of them doing that together in some way shape or form that is really uh they say they found the results to be surprising uh surprising in a positive way for those relationships here's how my trip to the gym with my wife works we show up i get on the treadmill she goes and walks around and looks at equipment then 10 minutes later after i'm warmed up she says i'm bored let's go and says i don't want to be here anymore right and that's usually what would happen you're gonna be together forever yeah i mean it's like similar situation where you both have to want Right.

You both have to like working out at a gym. And you've got to be on the same, one of you is leg day, the other one it's... Yeah, you see those couples that are like doing, you know... Weird-ass, that's weird. Yeah, they're doing weird routine stuff. Watching couples work out together, I'm sorry, no one likes that. No one likes you. I'm glad you like each other.

Yeah, I mean, apparently I don't care what other people think because they like each other. Tammy, the therapist, you're on the phone. Good morning. Good morning. So, there's also something called the six-second kiss. So every day with your partner, if you kiss for six seconds or just hold each other for six seconds a day, that improves marriage as well. Where's the kissing happening? The kissing upstairs, downstairs.

Spread them cheeks. Time for your six-second kiss. Where's the kissing have to happen for this to take effect? Anywhere. Anywhere. So it's a six seconds. That's the kiss. In your house.

All right. Fair enough. How about the six-second lovemaking? That's what I do. If your partner's up for it, then that's awesome. Oh, she's not. She hates it. Every second of the six, she counts.

All right, thank you, Tammy. There's five whole ones left. That's Tammy, the therapist who listens to our show. I think that's a good thing, though. I've done the five-second hug. You feel how long that actually feels. Six-second kisses are long. I would be like, are we having sex?

What's happening? Some wacko, and I'm calling you a wacko, Tammy, but someone like Tammy suggested that you sit naked in front of your partner and you just look at each other and you stare into each other's eyes naked for like 30 minutes. 30 minutes is so long. Yeah, and they claim that that is like revolutionary, like change the relationship forever.

This is all made up. Of course. There's no way. It's been my whole life. I think they just say, I've installed a camera in your house. Here's the secret to marriage. I want y'all to get naked 6 seconds of staring naked

I mean sorry 30 minutes of getting naked and staring into someone's eyes how freaky and weird is that oh dude I feel like I see my wife get out of the shower and I'm like

I gotta give her her privacy yeah I spend most of my time trying to hide so she doesn't see me naked I feel so vulnerable we got a quick break we're back with more show

after this The Box of Shame you thought that was shameful just wait till we get to The Box of Shame that's coming up later this hour and your tickets after this quick break

if you'd like to go to the Hollywood Bowl and experience live music from a man known as the maestro or the maestro of the movies. You'll have that chance after this quick break with another live-in-studio performance. What will it be? The challenge is up to you, and it's next on KROQ.

Sends you to the Hollywood Bowl for the maestro of the movies if you're able to successfully figure out what song we were attempting to recreate. Of course, John Williams, known as the maestro of the movies, responsible for so many amazing songs from so many films. And then there's been our versions of those songs, like yesterday when Jake on the recorder gave us this. That is not.

We should point out because I think the Hollywood Bowl is concerned that people will be confused as to what is coming from their orchestra and John Williams and what we are doing here at K-Rock. That is not them. That's all I got. That was Jake performing Indiana Jones, another one of them classics. And earlier this week, of course, you had it all started with Ali doing the march. The Imperial March. Imperial March from Star Wars, and then you had Vanessa and Johnny.

They're back in the studio right now. For the final pair of tickets, we've decided that we are all going to join forces together, and we are going to attempt to give you another John Williams classic. And if you're able to figure out what song we're doing, you're going to the Hollywood Bowl to see it done the right way. Now, let me just go ahead and tune this thing. All right, good. I gave you some harmonica jaws. Allie's got the ukulele, and Vanessa's in here.

Vanessa, you're on the drum kit again? Yes. And Johnny, you are going to do, what are you playing, Johnny? I got a little synthesizer keyboard. Oh, cool. It's a Cocomelon. Cocomelon keyboard. So once again, we are not dealing with the same high quality instruments that you would

normally get at a performance at the Bowl, but it fits our show. So here we go. We're going to say good morning now to Michael in Marina Del Rey. And yesterday, sadly, even though I think Jake did a decent job. All right. He practiced a lot. He practiced. People say that Jake was set up for failure.

Good morning. Hey, I hate saying this, but I don't typically defend Jake. But I'm pretty sure some shenanigans went on back there with the whole Indiana Jones thing. Wow, that was dumb. That was stupid. Anyways, I think Jake got set up. That was very clear that it was Indiana Jones. She can't believe that the contestant yesterday was not able to get it and had to forfeit those tickets.

Sadly, this show is not built on winning. It's built on losing. We are a show of losers. Look at us now. This is us at our peak. Look at us now, huh? A peak loser. So let's say good morning to...

We said Michael's going to play, I believe. Hey, Michael, welcome to KROQ from Marina Del Rey. Hi, good morning. Hi. Thank you. Thank you. Sweet divots. Sweet divots to you, good sir.

So you've heard maybe some of these songs this week. How have you done in listening to our versions of the classics from the movies? Your version? Not so good. Okay. But I'm up for it. I'm ready for it. So here we go.

This is, once again, John Williams. You may not know his entire catalog, but he is known as the maestro of the movies for good reason. And it's time now for not one, not two, not three, but four of us performing together. Press the drum style button to change the drum sounds. The drum set's stalling. We need to go. All right. Whenever you are ready, listen closely now.

Drum set gets mad. This is our attempt at it in three, two, one. all right locked in what did you say well it sounds like superman it doesn't sound super but it sounds like superman let's find out if he's right wow i can't believe it you my friend are going to the hollywood bowl you were successful congratulations i think you summed up this entire giveaway all week by saying it doesn't sound super and you will be going to the hollywood bowl congratulations hold on one second that was incredible guys i know that we If Johnny hadn't been playing the melody

I think we all would have been I was doing good Jake was in there smashing on his Sweaty pits as well He wanted to be a part of it I also don't know how he did that Because he didn't have to press the mic button Yeah I know

People are demanding a live performance At our endless summer kegger That we will be announcing on Monday Details so we can all get together And have one last hang before the summer comes to an end We think we put together something pretty sweet And we will give you those details on Monday morning It's not you guys playing those instruments, is it?

It is, Homer. That's the spoiler alert. It's us doing all of that. That's why we have to advertise it so much. So get ready for that. Now, there'll be a better band there than just us, but maybe we open for that band playing at least one of those songs. I can't read a lot of the text messages that came through

because they're offensive to many different groups of people that are mentally challenged, but they did give reviews of our music this week, and thank you for that. Yes, we've read your comments. No, just no. Thank you, 310. We're well aware.

So anyway, we'll get into the Box of Shaman moments. Someone will have their deepest, darkest, most shameful secret revealed on the radio. And that is coming up in mere moments here at KROQ. You know, there was a time long ago where you sat down at a restaurant, you looked at the menu, and you said to your partner, group, whatever, do you want to start off with some appetizers? It was a lovely way to start the meal. You could pick a couple of things, some potato skins, maybe some guac, and then you can move on to your real meal. but it was just kind of to tide you over to break the ice at the dinner table. No, I think it was much more than that.

I actually think the appetizers are where most restaurants peak. I would almost always go. It's also insurance if your meal sucks. At least you had some good appetizers, right? Sometimes, maybe because I'm not a big reader, I never made it to page two of a lot of menus. I never wanted to see what happened in page two. Sometimes I would go with a combination of a couple of appetizers,

and that would be my meal. Yeah, and that waiter gives you sometimes that judgy, is that, you want that for your meal? And you're like, that's right. The plate of wings, bring it. Yeah, and then another plate of wings afterwards. Of a different flavor. That was the whole idea for the restaurant I wanted to open called Apps.

It was just going to be appetizers, appetizers, and then aftertizers. That was all we were going to have. Three different versions. Something special, though, about the appetizers. The best. The best part of the menu and the best part of the meal. And it does give you a better idea of what's good at the restaurant. Now I feel like there was some weird pivot that happened where now the appetizers have become the same price as the main course menu items.

That's a fact. And it's really bothering me because I was ordering from a place yesterday. The appetizer, I was like, man, I'll start with an appetizer. $18, $22, $16 was the lowest. You can't start with a two. It's like a certain thing, you know, a bunch of idiots on Price is Right and they try to put a price before like a can of corn. and they're like, yeah, I think it starts with a six. Like, no, it doesn't, you dumbass.

It's a can of corn. The appetizers are supposed to be $5 to $10 cheaper than the main course. Minimum. I don't think you can start, and I understand there's different quote, high-end app. I'm not talking about like, you know, whatever, shrimp cocktail. The seafood tower, whatever. I know that there's going to be a high-ticket item there. But a standard, what we would consider appetizers, you know, potato skins, mozzarella sticks,

that all starts with a one. Wings should not be like $18. bucks. I was at a place recently that was going to order the wings appetizer. $24 wings appetizer. By the way, more than most of the entrees. And then I'm like, alright, I guess I'll just get a salad or a wrap because that's $21

instead of $25 for the appetizer. Omar would probably argue you're being a cheap little bitch and why not get what you want and it's the difference between $2 or $3, but it's a mental thing and it's the idea that restaurants, we had an agreement. We had this kind of understanding that appetizers are at

one level and then when you move to It's like the foreplay of this dance that we're doing. Right, we're foreplaying here. So why are we doing this to each other where now I'm not getting the appetizer at all because I don't want to spend an extra $20 or $30 on just a couple little extra bites of something. I think maybe too many people were, here's my theory, because of the price difference, I think people were skipping out on the, they were kind of pulling the move out. No, you're right.

I would just go with an appetizer. They go, you know what we're going to do? We'll just make the appetizers cost the same as the meal. Seems like everyone's eating appetizers for dinner. Why don't we make them just as expensive? And people were doing it not only because I think it was a better option, but also, especially if you've got one of those platters or an appetizer platter. Now, that you pay a little more for. That's premium.

The sample platter, I understand. There's a couple things you're going to shell out for. You want to put a two in front of a sample platter? You give me three of three different things, three of four different things? We can dance with that. That's okay. Acceptable. But the regular standard appetizer, now they're dropping a two in front of stuff?

Crazy talk. 310 said, I agree, and sometimes I've seen appetizers more expensive than the main course a lot of times. Yeah, you go like, you know what, I'm just going to start with this rib. These ribs, because it's cheaper than the appetizers. And they give you like two. Yeah, I know that the price of everything has gotten expensive. I know we live in a very expensive part of the country. I know there's inflation.

I know the whole thing is happening. Restaurants are shutting down all the time. But I think part of the problem is all of the moves they're doing to try to fix the bottom line are actually hurting them big picture. Well, and also, you know what else has changed? It used to be even numbers. You get four, you get six, you get 12. Now they're throwing a three. I get three of something.

You guys gave me a hard time, and I asked for the four tendy situation. Well, but was that an appetizer? Yes, of course it was. It was chicken tenders. It was a chicken tendy app, and I said, make it a four tendy situation. You guys all made fun of me for that. Yeah, because that's whack. That's true.

That was lame. But you're saying the same thing I said. Al, you're making the same point I'm making. It needs to be even numbers. People go out to dinner in even numbers. You have to have, and they do that on purpose. The number has gone down, and the price has gone up. Yeah, but one of the things they like to do,

And I've been to places, they'll pull this move. They'll do the math at the table. They'll say, you know what, there's a, you know, this usually only comes with three, but I see there's four of you. Would you like us to add a four? Which is why I asked for the 410D situation. Well, some of them are going, would you like to do two orders? Well, that's, and that's what they try to pull with me.

And then you have to double pay for the app. Yeah, well. Careful, slippery slope, guys. 310 said, I pregame at home with apps before going out to dinner. Yeah, load up some jalapeno poppers in your pocket. Pregame with a mustard sandwich. That's class right there. can almost taste the appetizer. The price of a mustard

sandwich has remarkably remained the same for 50 years. Box of Shame is next on KROQ. We're going to get to the Box of Shame in just a moment. That will ruin one of our weekends as we share with you our deepest, darkest, most shameful secrets. And sure, if you think about your own life for just a moment, there's probably some things that you know about yourself,

and you would be thrilled for other people to not know those things about you. And maybe it was the time that you, I forget what Vanessa did, but there was something that she did. She pooped your pants. Oh, that's right. That's what it was. And so the reality is that things happen in your life And you go, that was pretty shameful This is my new lowest moment

And then you hope that no one ever finds out about it And that is why we created the box of shame The box What's in the box? Of shame Shame Shame Shame

Okay This person not my handwriting thank God finally we can get a little break from your shameful secrets planned a family activity

and then immediately ditched their family because they were holding them back I don't think this is Ali's handwriting for the record now I'm laughing

because I must know who it is because it's not me the only other person I know who has done any running Yeah, it's me. That would be Omar.

Yeah, what do you want me to do, man? I trained for this thing, and I'm supposed to wait and walk this thing? Oh, this was the 5K? Oh, this is a new story. This is new. Oh, yeah. Fresh off the top of the box of shame. You ditched your kids, too?

I thought you said you were planning a whole race with your family, wife and kids. Yeah, so I originally, well, I mean, we signed up. I guess they signed me up under false pretenses because I thought we were all going to train. It was going to be my wife, sister-in-law, and my kids. and I thought we were all taking it seriously. I mean, I was in my garage, and it was super hot in my garage. I mean, it was over 100 degrees, and I was getting my runs in. And I guess a week after I started training,

I come to find out that they weren't training at all. Like, I figured my kids, they're kids. Three miles, they're going to run that no problem. So I'm kind of, you know, my first one was at 36 minutes, and I was just like, wow, that is a sad time. So I, you know, strategically came up with a plan, and Avery ran. And then my best run the day before the actual 5K, I got my time down to 30 minutes and 30 seconds. You ran the 5K the day before the 5K?

Correct. Bad choice, but go ahead. No, it's only three miles. It's not a big deal. But, Omar, you— You went to the hospital. You guys think it was because it was a 5K. Yeah, I think that's—I think it wasn't because of the 5K.

It wasn't because of that. And they said you're dehydrated. You drink 97 gallons of water a day. But you were telling me you're the only one who trained for this thing, and you thought that you were going to be racing to do the best you could do. What was your goal for yourself? Under 30 minutes. That was my goal for myself, under 30 minutes.

And I figured the day of the race with everybody kind of hyping each other up and cheering you on that I would kind of like, you know, come under that. But a week and a half into the training, my wife says, oh, we're just going to have fun doing this activity. We're probably going to walk most of it. And I was like, what? Are you kidding me? And then I was just like, well, okay, you know, you guys could walk it.

But I'll run with my kids because my kids shouldn't have, you know, they're 12 and 14. They should have no issues running this three-mile thing. So at the starting gate, they're all, all right, you know, get ready, get set, go. You know, I'm running with my kids for about, you know, almost a mile, I want to say. And then one of my kids is like, oh, Dad, hold on, hold on. And I'm like, you guys stick together. Peace out. We'll see you at the finish line.

Oh, you ditched them right there a mile away. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're not going to slow me down. One of them was having a problem, like a medical problem, and you ran off? So I come to find out. It's asthma. So I come to find out that one of my kids had some, you know, pain in her side. I was, you know, kind of too in the zone to inquire about.

Yeah, exactly. So she goes, Dad, I have pain in my side. I can't keep going. This kid is notorious for not drinking water. Oh, the opposite of you. It didn't surprise me. But, you know, what's interesting is this is, in so many ways, This is exactly what Omar said he would do when we took that quiz to see which one of us would survive the zombie apocalypse.

Oh, yeah. He said he would shoot his kids in the face if they were holding them back. So this is a real-life example of your kids holding you back. You hear that, kids? Were they mad at you? Better step up your game. No, they weren't mad. They actually only came in about six minutes after I did.

So you have no regrets then? I mean, it seems like you feel a little shame about it. A little bit. Did you break your time? Did you at least break your 30-minute time? I did not. I came in at 30 minutes and 20 seconds. If you hadn't run a 5K the day before, you would have probably done it.

That's real loser talk right there. That is. You know, it's that first mile that you ran with your kids. Yeah. That's probably why. Probably would have held you back. Those kids stood in the way of the glory. Stupid kids.

And then almost died a day later to go to the ER and get some IVs. And they were like, see ya. Exactly. Take a break. News after this on KROQ. Don't forget to go to Six Flags, Magic Mountain. We have tickets for you, four of them, as a matter of fact. And your last chance to qualify to get those 2027 Golden Passes,

which will take care of every possible thrill you could experience in the year ahead. And we've got that coming up for you the second we're done with your ADD News. So be ready to call the numbers once again, 800-520-1067. You can find us there and get yourself some tickets after this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. School has begun for a lot of people. More people are starting next week. But once you get to school, are you really learning anything?

Apparently, students are not able to pay attention or retain information anymore. It's called popcorn brain. And one teacher has had enough. We just started the year, but he's already breaking down and he is done because he is realizing how incredibly illiterate his students are. I have seniors who simply cannot read and seniors who cannot write. I'm teaching seniors. We had two paragraphs to read one sentence.

I gave them the sentence stamps. I basically completed the sentence for them in the model. And they couldn't fill in four words. Four words. I gave them the scenario. I gave them the answers before we even had the problem. And they couldn't do it. That's a theater teacher for sure, right, Allie?

He's definitely an English or literature teacher I would imagine But he said he gave them the literal answer Before they did the problem Right It's just like Johnny When you give him the answer Like we give him a question for Johnny doesn't know

We even then say the answer You can ask him the same question weeks later And he still will not know the answer Johnny do you know who's coming in here next hour As a surprise in studio appearance We told you yesterday Yeah Julia Wolf There you go.

That's because you're into her. But if it was anything else. Daddy knowledge he can return. Do you know anything else we have planned for the show next hour that's in the schedule for today? We're going to do Johnny Doesn't Know later. Okay. Well, that involves you once again. Proving the point.

One other thing? Anything involving anyone else on the show? Well, we always keep a box open for personal chat, but that's always TBD upon the time it happens. Okay. He doesn't know what that is. What does TBD mean? To be determined. Okay.

To be deed. To be deed. To be determined. Johnny's throat is TBD'd later. It feels like the animal kingdom is going crazy lately with all the rattlesnake bites and the spider attacks. There was even six sharks circling a swimmer near Santa Barbara recently. The guy just kept swimming, though. Then, of course, you've got all the bald eagle drama and Big Bear with the new eagle taking over the nest.

So let me share something slightly comforting. There was a bill that they were trying to pass that would have reintroduced grizzly bears to California. Were you aware of this? I thought we had bears here. We just had black bears? Yeah, we don't have grizzly bears. We don't? They have been extinct from California for over a century.

Really? Yeah, we don't have grizzlies here. Aren't they on Catalina Island, or is that just Buffalo? I don't think there are grizzly bears on Catalina Island. Look that up. I'm pretty sure there are. There was a whole effort to reintroduce them to California. Great.

No, dude. Those are the most aggressive, mean bears out there. Probably take care of some of the coyote problems. If we're introducing another apex predator into the state of California, all the farmers were like, please don't do this. We don't have the resources to fight off another predator. Don't get rid of coyotes, influencers. It'll be great. Yeah, the last sighting was in 1920 or 1920s.

Yeah, so it's been a long time. Bring them back. I'm a big fan of this. The bill was to feasibly and advisably bring back the apex predators and develop a roadmap for doing so by 2030. I don't think you understand how aggressive these bears are. Bears love pools. That's what I've learned. And we have a lot of pools here.

So think of how happy they would be chilling in our pool. Yeah, but these are the ones with the super long, like, wolverine nails. Right, but I think all you've got to do is, like, they see you, and then you have to just go, ah, you've got to go bigger than them. I don't know, man. I don't know if that works. Ah, they back away. You lift your arms up all big and whatnot. You're just saying this because you look like one.

No, that's a real thing, Allie. I'm telling you. Where do they live now? They don't have much. In other parts of America. We don't have any in California. There's no grizzly bears in California. It has to have been in size since the early 1920s.

Those are brown bears and black bears. Oh, that's just their name, brown bears and black bears. Oh, I really thought that was a grizzly bear. Okay. Grizzly bears, I'm telling you, are messed up. We don't want them here. They're not fine. So when they would bring them back, they'd bring two and drop them here,

and then they would mate, and then that would just see what happens. They would start relocating them and just letting them go buck wild in California. I mean, what's cool is, like, the wolf is back. Wolves are cool. That's naturally happening. I don't think we need to place predators in new states. We're not talking about dinosaurs, Allie. We're talking about bears.

Yeah, and they're like naturally here. They're going to keep to themselves, and if you see one, you get in the dumpster. Yes, but listen to all the other stories. The rattlesnakes are attacking. The spiders are attacking. The coyotes. All the non-apex predators we're already having problems with. Why would we make it more complicated?

We need to have a bear there to go ahead and get some order. Yeah, check them. That's what we need, like a bouncer for us. Steady diet of snakes. Yeah. Here's the next place that Americans are moving so that they can get sick of living here and start anew somewhere else. New Zealand. This is specifically for wealthy Americans.

They are relocating to New Zealand in droves. More than 700 Americans have applied for the Golden Visa program just in the last year. And now Americans account for more than one-third of the applications since April of last year. Apparently, this is called the Golden Visa Program, where you have to invest money in New Zealand over a three-year period. But then you get a ton of incentives, and you get, I think, a lot of money back for investing in living in New Zealand. But they like to give a lot of incentives to foreigners to come visit and stay in New Zealand. And apparently, all the rich people are hitting it up. Well, if you're not in the market for a Golden Visa, but you'd like a gold pass to Six Flags, we have them for you right now.

at 800-520-1067. Four tickets will be yours, and you are one of the few finalists that will get themselves some 2027 gold passes so you can enjoy all the rides. And I've never been to New Zealand before, but I would imagine it's not nearly as much fun as Six Flags, so we'll get to that right now on KROQ.

It's Clyde Elisha. Low 6.7. KROQ FM in HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Good morning.

And welcome to your weekend. And it's just after 9 o'clock here from the world-famous K-Rock Studios at Mid-Miracle Mile Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles, California. Good morning, Orange County. Good morning, Pasadena. Good morning, L.A. And good morning to anyone who is watching us as we are streaming live on YouTube. We got lots to get into this hour on the show.

We'll kick things off by getting you tickets to Six Flags for the 20th caller. The number is 800-520-1067. Then we are going to turn up the microphones on Allie's womb and check in with her baby. Oh, awesome. Because I believe today is supposed to be gender reveal day. And so maybe we find out. Will that be a boy or will that be a girl? If that's how we find out, I'm going to be pissed.

I'm going to be pissed. In my least favorite bit. I don't know what your baby is going to say because we haven't turned the mics up. But Omar's got the power to do it. So we will turn them up loud enough to hear just like they do with the cameras. You know, those cameras they use to show you what your kid looks like in there. Those aren't regular cameras, Allie. That's not 12 megapixels.

Those are real deal x-ray powered sonograms or whatnot. X-ray powered? I don't know. They're doing something in there. No, they're pretty messed up. They were constantly putting that on my stomach. Whatever they're doing, they're able to see stuff. They got special cameras.

We got special sound here in radio. So don't judge the system. There is no system. You're making up this whole system. Omar's going to... Omar, you can boost the levels, right? Absolutely. 100%.

Okay. We'll check in with Allie's... A woman's just a moment. Any movement on the helicopter thing? There is. Movement has been made. Yep. Movement has been made.

We have a lead on a copter. Johnny is trying to back out of this whole helicopter thing, but that's how we're going to do the gender reveal. Johnny and the chopper. He's going to throw out hot dogs if it's a boy or tacos if it's a girl. And anyone who's below the helicopter will get a free launch regardless. I think that we're having a little bit of a roadblock with throwing food out of the helicopter, but I try to keep it vague.

What do you mean? They said they wouldn't do that? Well, they were like, you're throwing things out of the helicopter? Is this going to be safe? And I was like, yeah, it could be. Who asked that? The helicopter people asked that? No, our sales guy that's got the connection.

Keep them out of this. I just kept it vague. I said, don't worry. It'll be safe. I'm trying to get help from all places. Whoever gets me one. Kenya? Kiana.

Try that again. Jesus. Is this Kiana? Yes, it is. Hi, Kiana. Hi, Kiana. Welcome to KROQ. You're on Klein Alley Show, and you are the 20th caller, more importantly.

Oh, good morning. That's so exciting. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. You have tickets coming to you for Six Flags Magic Mountain, four of them. And if we call you back, I don't know, this weekend or Monday or something, you're going to get a gold pass for all of 2027, all right? Wonderful.

Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Hold on one second. Very nice to meet you. That's Kiana right there. Looking at this, yeah, it's definitely spelled Kiana, too, so I don't know where that's When in your brain. In a moment, we're going to boost the microphones up.

No. And hold them down to Ali's tummy and hear what her kid has to say. We could have a gender reveal in moments on K-Run. I think in some weird way, Ali, what we're doing now, which I know you're not a fan of, this whole concept of the gender reveal, regardless, it's part of society. But for the most part, people are just trying to one-up each other, outdo each other. It's pink, it's blue, and it's definitely been played out at this point. Oh, absolutely.

The idea of shifting that whole thing, the whole pink-blue thing, to hot dogs and tacos. Two foods universally loved by the masses. By us, especially. Yeah, I mean, let's be completely honest. Hot dogs and tacos have both—those are like foods that have saved us time and time again. You're broke, you're drunk, it's available on the street. I mean, I'm talking about foods where you'll be— Cheap and filling, both of them.

Both of them, for different reasons. Both in cart form and in restaurant form. Right. And to be honest, it's very hard to make them bad. Like even a bad taco, even a bad hot dog is still good. It still hits, yeah, in a way. It still hits. So we believe that there should be a giant shift in this whole reveal thing. And when you reveal to the masses, you are not revealing blues and pinks. You're revealing something that can immediately be eaten and consumed by the masses. I'd like to expose the genitals specifically of the baby.

Well, that's what it is. I mean, when I meet people that say... And it's about sex for me, not gender. You never know what's going to happen, right? This is the sex of the baby. You don't know how they want to be, quote, identified. So let's just go ahead and do something that will be a crowd favorite. Universally, people will love it. Even if you're like, oh, man, I really want a son. I wanted a son two different times.

I failed. I wanted a son, but every time I had gotten tacos, it would have been like a great consolation prize. And then think about the headlines when people throw things out of a helicopter like money. Right. People freak out. Now imagine tacos being thrown out of a helicopter, hot dogs being thrown out of a helicopter, and how much the public would love that. Love it. I mean, not if it hits you in the face, but if it, you know.

Then that's funny. That's what it's supposed to do. Right. So anyway, we think the gender reveal thing should completely shift over to a hot dog. And if you're going to have one in the near future, please wow your guests. Trust me when I say they will appreciate immediately having a hot dog. Even bacon wrap. You want to bacon wrap those bitches?

Great. Oof. Someone's going to roll in with a cart. You don't know what's in that cart. It's foil. Is it going to be bacon wrapped hot dogs? We're going to load two carts onto the helicopter. Are there going to be tacos?

I'm not talking about helicopter in this scenario. I'm talking about regular people in the backyard. We were trying to incorporate a helicopter because Johnny said that he would go up into a helicopter where he's been going for his Jason reports. He brought it up and said he would like to. He would like to. So we believe we have a helicopter on the ready. Johnny will go up. I don't think it's going to happen today, sadly.

But Johnny says he will do it. But, Ali, we decided because your child is involved that the baby that's growing inside of you right now is involved. We should hear what they have to say about it. And so if you could put the microphone down to your womb and or vagina. That's where it is. It's in the middle of my vagina. Well, no one knows how it works, but if you could put it down there, just in that general vicinity.

We hear your heart. Oh, sure. Let me. There you go. You're not moving. You're not playing along. I'm putting the microphone down there. Can someone come in here and hold the mic on Allie's womb?

Because she's not doing it. Stop. I don't have a little hope. God damn it. We can't. I'm turning it up. I'm turning it up. Just turn it up louder.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Johnny's now trying to get out of going into the helicopter to reveal the gender. So we're going to go right to the source. Hi, Ali's unborn baby. Can you hear us? Hello? Hey, guys. I hear that I'm about to find out my gender.

I'm so excited. Although I guess if Johnny's involved, I'm a girl because he's a giant pussy. Okay. Wow. You know what? That is how we've done the gender reveal. I like this bit. Apparently, he thinks he's a girl or she thinks she's a girl because Johnny's a giant pussy.

Now we know. So more tacos for order. Well, it's going to be a taco day today, baby. KROQ, we're your client, Ali's show. In the studio is Postmaster Johnny. Time for a little round of Johnny Doesn't Know. You don't need to know answers to these questions. You just need to know if Johnny will know the answers.

The questions are all based on things involving school because everyone's got school on the brain these days. Welcome back to the KROQ studios, Postmaster Johnny. What's good, man? Giant pussy. Oh, Ali's baby. Calm down. The baby.

The baby's got it. Sky pussy. That's crazy. That's a good little baby. That's right. We don't know the gender yet, but we do know that the baby's got great vocabulary. So we got that to look forward to. Very advanced.

Johnny, you are, once again, now you are refusing to go in the helicopter or you're not? Yeah, I told you guys, it makes me uncomfortable. Don't want to do it. And I know you guys would encourage me to do it. So thank you. Ha ha, that's what you think. You can call me all names and stuff. I don't care about that.

That's whatever. What if we just blindfolded you and led you into a secret location that happened to be very noisy and have a propeller? On a freeway? You're in a shaky room, Johnny. Just don't worry. This is what the general public thinks. This is day two calling to say Johnny's a pussy and he needs to be held accountable.

He's pussyed out on the helicopter. He's pussyed out on skydiving with Blind Charlie. Listen, I don't care if you don't want to get in a helicopter. I get it. The thing that we don't like is when you say, like, very confidently on the air, yeah, that sounds great. I'll do it. I want to do it.

And then we go, okay, good. You're going to do it. And you go, no, no, no. I couldn't possibly do that. After we've decided that's happening, then on the side he goes, I actually don't want to do that. Yeah, like the same thing with Blind Charlie. You're like, yeah, I'll skydive with Blind Charlie.

They're like, you will? You're like, sure. Why do I care? We're like, great. And then we set it up. And then you're like, no, no, I couldn't do that. It's terrifying. You don't want to lie to our listeners.

They feel betrayed. So if you're not going to be a part of this historic gender reveal, dropping tacos out of a helicopter. It's okay. We don't need Johnny to make it successful. Yeah. I was wondering kind of too, like my correlation to like, like how I fit into Ali's gender reveal.

Because you're the chopper guy. You decided. You're the one who said you wanted to go. I didn't jab her with the IVF shots. And then I was like, Johnny, that's the chopper thing. because you do these Jason reports where you talk about all the cool events happening. That's the whole reason we started talking about

helicopters in the first place. Yeah, because you've been doing a fake helicopter report for Jason. Do you want me to play any of those or do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, play me a Jason report. I really didn't want to. Okay.

But here's Johnny and the chopper. All right, this week in Jason, you got the NFL preseason starting tonight. It's the Panthers take on the Cardinals and finally we'll have something entertaining. No, we should have had a new Jason report today because it's Friday, but we don't have one, so I'll just play last week's.

But anyway, the point is, you're in the fake helicopter, so we'd put you in a real helicopter, and then you said, I will do Jason from a real helicopter. We said, great, let's do it. And then it became, while you're up there, might as well reveal Ali's baby. I got an idea. Sure, it sucks.

No, it doesn't suck. Do a helicopter with the boss? No. How do you do that? They just take turns slapping you in the face with their D's? I'd settle for that for a gender reveal. That would be great. What is your idea? I was gonna say, what if we went on a roller coaster

like at Disney or something and then like threw hot dogs and wieners off of that? It's a problem for so many reasons. Why don't we do something I already like and want to do? It's like the same thing. Let's hit the song. We're just not going to do it.

Welcome to Johnny Doesn't Know. This is Postmaster Johnny, also known as Gay Leno. And here we go. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in fatter for like a while. Johnny doesn't know.

Johnny doesn't know. Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes, wiggles. All right, school. School's back. Johnny claims he got through school.

Still talks to one of his teachers. We say good morning to Jeremy and Hermosa Beach. Everyone who gets theirs right, Ali's going to write your name down and one of you is going to leave here with tickets, tickets, tickets. Here we go. It's Johnny doesn't know school.

Johnny? i'm gonna give you some acronyms that you would hear in school i'm good at this i know this one we'll start easy they'll get harder gpa will johnny know what gpa stands for jeremy uh yes i'm gonna say johnny does you're my boy all right john this guy's on he's got your back he says you will know what gpa stands for this is once again the easiest one and they get slightly more difficult he says you will know what does gpa stand for gpa is grade point average all right And what was your GPA, Johnny? Oh, damn.

What year? In college or high school? Because I had two different ones in high school. Let's do high school. All right, high school was 2.7. And then college, I had a 3.5 one semester. No, zero chance. One semester.

I'm dead ass. September 2017. Oh, the 2017 fall. I was on fire, bro. I had like five classes. They're all PE. No, no, no. That was my first semester.

They're all teachers that wanted to F Johnny. I think that's what it was. All right, a horny teacher semester. Hold on, Jeremy, you got that right. Well, they were all women, too, so yeah. All right, well, that makes sense. Johnny, here we go, next one. Yeah.

Something I don't think you had to worry about, AP. AP, what does that stand for? Don't answer yet. Let's say hi to Gabriel and Fontana. Johnny doesn't know. Well, Johnny, know what AP stands for in the world of schooling. Sweet dibs, guys. Sweet dibs, good sir.

Well, Johnny, now AP. I'm going to think, yeah. Yes. All right, Johnny. AP, you ever take one of them AP classes? Nope. because I was for like the super smart kids and the foreign exchange students.

They all took those. Right, right. They were hella smart. And what does the AP stand for? Advanced Placement. Oh, good job, Johnny. Wow, Advanced Placement. Advanced Placement.

I'm surprised you didn't say Asian persons and all the other foreign exchange students that were smarter than me. Everyone's afraid to laugh at that one. That's a compliment. It is a compliment. We go to question number three, and Johnny's gotten two right.

Didn't think he would get those first two right. Let me say hi now to Dina from Lakewood. Good morning, Dina. Hi, good morning. Johnny doesn't know. Will Johnny know what the SAT stands for? Yes or no? I'm going to say no.

Okay. Johnny, you've taken the SAT, right? Sadly. Do you remember what you got on that? Hell no. We all cheated and just did it quickly because it wasn't graded. You said already, 2.7. Yeah.

That was his SAT score, 2.7 also. Same as my GPA. Johnny, what does the SAT stand for? I'm going to take a shot in the dark. I don't remember. She says you won't know. But I kind of remember. Standardized aptitude tests.

That's a smarter answer than I thought it would have given. Wow, really? Yeah, you got nothing right. other than the word test. Oh, what the hell? Scholastic. Oh, standardized aptitude test is a thing, though.

Scholastic. Book fair. That's right. Remember the book fair? That's what it stands for. It's very confusing. We have to be super smart to figure that out.

Yes. Scholastic. Aptitude. Academic. Ass. Ass. It always comes back to ass. How is it always about ass?

Standardized. Wait. Scholastic. Scholastic assignment. Assessment. There you go. Assessment test. Diane, I was correct in predicting Johnny wouldn't know.

Johnny doesn't know what he got on that. Very good guess, though. I'm on it. I'm on it. Alex Costa Mesa. It's back to school. Postmaster Johnny. Will Johnny know?

These are just basic acronyms you would hear in school. Another one I'm not sure Johnny was a big part of, but GATE. Do you know what GATE stands for in the school in the world of schools? Johnny will not know. Okay. Wow. Hi, Alex. Thank you for coming in hot.

Johnny will not know with confidence. What does GATE stand for? oh man I don't know what gate was I don't think they had that at my school I believe that what was that is that a real class it's a real something

Allie you know this one right I'm just interested in what you're going to say wow it's a big thing at school he says you won't know can I take a guess at what type of class this probably was are these the teachers that would come into class and take out two or three kids at a time

and then go take them away for a majority of the class and then bring them back? You mean like a special ed situation? Is that what it is? Maybe. Are those the gate people? We have the gate keepers. The teachers come and they take them.

I honestly thought he was going to describe a gate. Oh, really? Oh, it's a person. Yeah, like it's to keep the students in or out. To be at the front of the school with a lock on it. To keep the school locked. They have the cool security guard out front who is like the security guy.

Don't overthink it. Maybe that's it. Gate. Gate? Okay, so like the security guard guy then, who's also the football coach and the history teacher. No, that's wrong. It's the gifted and intellectual? Gifted and?

Oh, gifted and terminally. Damn. Gifted and? Gifted and terminal? Why would you invest in that? I'm wasting time. We're not really getting a lot of payback on this program. Great, you learned algebra.

Goodbye. You've got to finish this paragraph before you die. Gifted and talented. Damn, what does E stand for in school? Education. Education. Gifted and talented education. Sure you weren't a part of that, Johnny?

I don't know, man. I was part of the gifted, I'm sure. Part of the terminal. That's true. All right. We have time for one more. Everyone's gotten theirs right. That's amazing.

Julie, we end with you. Good morning, Julie. Good morning, guys. Sweet dibs. Sweet dibs. Do you think Johnny will know what PTA stands for? This is the last one now. Will Johnny know what PTA stands for?

Yes or no, Julie? Yes. All right. She's got confidence in you, Johnny. Make her proud and make this a clean sweep of everyone predicting correctly. I got you, Julia. PTA stands for Parent Teacher Association. Wow.

Look at that. All right, Allie. Everyone predicted correctly. Who's winning these tickets to go up to Big Bear for the Grand Prix? congratulations to gabriel gabriel you've done it well done good sir you called you played you predicted correctly and you win uh hold on one second we get you those tickets and thank you for calling k-rock on a friday morning the reality of this show is that some days we have new listeners and some days we lose listeners and uh we did hear from someone at the beginning of the

summer that said we would not hear from them again until september at the earliest they were going to take a sabbatical or a hiatus. Not sure what the difference is between those two things, but they seem like people just want to take some time off. And that man's name was Pantyhose Greg. He was not going to call or listen to the show for a couple of months. He thought

that it was for his own best interest. And we were fine with it. But Jake has informed me that he has now left his 100th message of the summer. Are you kidding? And this is it. Might be more. Bro, I'm so stoned and loving every minute of it.

it's 1 15 a.m on friday morning we're gonna fry all day fry all night so this is 1 15 in the morning uh this morning friday morning uh he did call and check in with us a few more times to let us know how his night was progressing so he is uh really i think going to attempt to smoke himself dead which could be the first time anyone has ever actually overdosed on marijuana i'm also amazed that he is up all night smoking that much weed because i always smoked for a while then i would just fall asleep eventually Yeah. And loving every minute of it.

Hey, Clyde, I just want to give you a shout-out. How you doing? Howdy, what's going on? I was Wesley. Oh, man. Give my son's name out your mouth. Give your son a shout-out. How's it going on?

I was Wesley. Doing the touchdowns. Good job, Wes. Hey, he needs a father figure in his life. He does. You know what? I'll take it. So, well, he'll take that.

He needs the support of a man, role model, yelling at him. That little guy's funny. Alright, well there he is Nice to know that pantyhose Greg is still alive and well I know no one has asked us to do a wellness check on him But Jake says he has left At least I think at least three to four messages a day every day this summer

I'm amazed he can still fund this habit I mean this is Hundreds of dollars of weed he's smoking I don't think he pays for his own weed though I think he panhandles outside of 7-Eleven I thought he was banned though How do you get banned from panhandling? There's always a new 7-Eleven

No, but he's made it to the top tier of the people that have been banned. Other people will panhandle and be like, get that guy out of here. Yeah, there's not many places left in Alhambra that he can go. Even if he did get the money for the weed, I think he's also been banned from a lot of the weed stores. Yeah, he can't go in there. He can't steal any nuggets off the floor. Yeah, which is a great idea. I mean, how many nuggets do you see, though?

A lot of times when I go, it's clean as hell in there. He would just go in the weed store to grab their shake off the floor and leave. And they finally said, you're not allowed back here. I think he also, if I'm not mistaken, is not allowed in a couple of Starbucks in that area as well. And he's not allowed at that guy's house. Shia LaBeouf's house. Yeah, can't go within 200 yards of Shia LaBeouf. We have to put a one sheet together of all the places he's banned.

I mean, that actually would be interesting. I know you're probably sleeping at this point since you're up all night leaving messages. If you could leave a message of all of the places that you've been banned from. I'm curious to keep track of it all because it does feel like this is a growing list. No wonder he's in his little shed, because I don't think he can go anywhere. He got banned from that rehab facility, and I thought they're supposed to accept everyone. And I think they kicked him out of his last place, too. Well, because he had those roommates.

The Chinese roommates, yeah. Five Chinese roommates, and they don't want me here. Well, and he said they don't speak English, but we think they could. Right. It was being all loud like at 3 a.m. when normal people are sleeping. Yeah, and she was yelling at him. Where's that message? That was so funny.

Him getting yelled at by his roommate. She was so mad. God, I wish I could find that. That was the greatest, that was when his roommates were so angry at him that they tried to throw him out, I mean, I think in the middle of the night. I mean, gosh, I put Greg in here and there's just an endless. It never ends. Hold on. Greg restraining order, Greg needs to move out.

Good morning, Jake. It's Penny, how's Greg here? I was just calling to see if you might want to be roommates. I hear you're looking for a place. Anyways, let me know you got my number. That must have been before he got thrown out He knew the end was near Even these call titles

Greg, Rippin' Bong Hicks Greg, In-N-Out Onion Rings Greg, Swamp Ass Greg, Pickin' Your Ass Here's another one I might move I found a place in a really cool location I'm sick of this Taiwanese landlady

Who's always on my ass everywhere he goes he's got a problem he's got to be understanding he's the problem right things from smoking weed to making noise it's just crazy so i want to get out of here i've been here long enough um but anyways i should get out of the lease she told me i think i could leave when i wanted to oh sure you can leave you're out of the lead probably helped him back ripped it up right in front of him the amount of calls i have that said greg moving or greg Speaking of moving, it's like 47... I know, we would have to go through these.

It's too bad. Him getting yelled at by those roommates is just the best. Well, anyway, please, Greg, leave a message of all the places you've been banned from. I'm curious to find out how long that list has gotten. And you're always welcome at the Klein Alley Show events, including the big endless summer kegger that we'll announce on Monday. Including the ones you got kicked out of. Yeah, you got kicked out.

That's right. You're welcome to all of our events that you've been kicked out from. We've got to take a quick break. We're back with your news. And then we've got more tickets for Six Flags in about 15 minutes on KROQ. Hey, God, it's Friday! And as a fact, good morning and welcome to your KROQ. We get into your ADD news in just a moment.

But first, I think Allie should hear this message because she is an inspiration to all. Hey, guys. I just left Trader Joe's and I was thinking, God, that cashier is totally flirting with me. And then I realized I'm being an Allie about this. No one wants to be an Allie about this. And that is the problem when you start to feel good about yourself for just a moment and you realize, wait a minute, you do that with everyone. I've been alleyed. I'm not special.

I'm just being an alley. Well, when they say, how are you doing? And you say, I'm good. Thanks. And then they make up a new thing to ask you about. It's like, whoa, enough already. I'm just trying to check out. I think that there was a whole video released about how they're trained and they're trained to have conversations with you.

Well, not you. You went to a Trader Joe's and the guy was a dick. That guy was a dick with a Carpe Diem tattoo on your neck. I know who you are, sir, and you did not Carpe Diem my day. Didn't Johnny go over there and disprove that? Wasn't he nice to Johnny? He was friendlier to Johnny, but we couldn't hear because the audio was so terrible. No, the audio was good.

He was chill. Your fake neck? No, it was not about my neck. I thought you were a threat. Yeah, you look like a thug. When he was mean to me, my neck was not as big as it is now. So just remember, guys, don't be an ally. flirting with me and then i realized i'm being an ally about this

don't be an ally here's your news grab your adderall it's time for add news well we may have mushed another one it's been a long time since we had heard from matt bellamy of muse we had him in the studio he was very nice we promoted the new album and he was talking about the new tour all very exciting just yesterday i got tickets to their show at the bowl was very excited about that. I was there when Miles popped in. Hey, Allie, don't worry. I got you all covered for the muse at the Hollywood Bowl. Amazing. Thank you, Miles. Hours later, news broke

that he's getting divorced. Oh, no. This does not seem like a we'll remain friends, we love each other kind of thing. By the way, I don't know if there's a hotter person on the planet than his wife. Really? You think so? Oh, yeah. She's kind of funny looking to me. No, she's pretty

hot. I think at one point he came in here with her or something, and I was like, whoa. Why are we interviewing this guy? I mean, I can understand why. You're like a rock star. I think she's a model, professional model. I mean, she looks like a model. He filed for divorce, and he is seeking sole custody of their two kids that are two and six years old.

So it doesn't seem like a cordial divorce. It seems like it's going to be pretty messy. They have been separated for about a year already, so it's not a big surprise that their relationship didn't work out. But a custody battle is going to be hard to deal with while you are on tour. You might get some interesting performances. Yeah, I like that. Well, listen, a lot of these artists, they're able to come up with great songs when they're going through rough times. So maybe this means good new muse coming.

When life is good, maybe there's not as much inspiration. But, I mean, if you're the kids and you have a choice, don't you go with Rockstar Dad? I'm trying to remember if he was here. Was there any conversation? I know he had talked to us about it. He was going to the World Cup at the time. He's like, I already got tickets to the World Cup Finals, going with the family. I think he talked about his kids a little bit, but he did not.

I mean, he didn't talk about family life or his wife or anything like that. I just kept asking to see pictures in his phone of his wife. And he said, not now. Weird question, sir. You think he still pervs out on our pictures, though? I think everyone, you know, you're with anyone. Anyone who's with anyone who's hot, eventually they're just annoying, I guess. Yeah, I think everyone can be annoying if you live with them long enough.

What's that famous saying? Show me someone who's hot, I'll show you someone who's tired of effing them or something. Yep, that's it. Did you make that up? No, that's a saying, guys. There's a saying. I've heard it before. Will you show us?

People say that saying. Look it up. Who says the same? Confucius or someone said it. Confucius. Yeah, or it may have been Buddha. One of them said it, Ali. Trust me.

One of them was smashing, right? Definitely Gandhi. Yeah, Gandhi. He seems like so Gandhi. He was very hungry when he said it, but he did say it. He was a real carpe diem guy, right? Right, right. Klein, I want to make you feel better because you were caught violating a mannequin in Old Navy earlier this week.

You were taking off her skirt. You were escorted out of the Old Navy. Possible ban on the way. But I want you to know that you're not the only one who has done bad things at an Old Navy. Cardi B, who is a new Old Navy ambassador, admits that she used to rob them blind and that she never got caught. Thank you, Old Navy, for holding me down in high school. You know, I used to steal from you guys all the time. So it's just such a full circle moment that, like, I'm an ambassador for Old Navy, and I used to steal all the time, and I never got caught.

Like, if it wasn't for you guys, I probably wouldn't be the freshest b---- in school because I was a fresh a----. I was stealing all the m---- from the caucus from my a----, baby. just like my experience there the same you did when you took your kids in there do you say you're gonna be the freshest bitch in school i said that so let's go let's go we gotta get freshen up bitches and then look at god look at god y'all need to understand right like a bbl it is so hard for us to find jeans look at all my jeans i was gonna say like i get it from old navy gap fashion like that because i'm five three and i'm skinny i got no ways but my ass and hips is the size of Uganda.

Does that help with your kids fighting? That's the section we went to, the Uganda ass section. The baby all section. That's where we went. It's the only way to find my jeans. We all want to live forever. That's why we are stuffing our faces full of peptides and creatine. And now, of course, when we think it's good for us, we also think it's good for our pets.

And apparently, pet owners are now turning to these alternative health methods to try and help their pets live forever. People are doing peptide injections for their dogs. And they're doing red light therapy. all the things supplements all the things that you are doing to try and live forever they think that they can pass that on to their dogs and of course there is no research saying that this is good for your dogs but people don't care they think if it's good for me and it's helping me feel better why would i not pass that on i thought there was some pill that was in the final stages of approval that was a weight loss drug no no the thing that was going to help our dogs live like

20 more years oh i didn't know that one average dog taps out around i don't know 12 13 you know If you're lucky, right, I mean, I think... Well, you and yours were 17. Yeah, Chloe lived a good... Yeah, small dogs. Almost 18. Almost legal. But sadly, she didn't make it, and the reality is that there's...

Show me a guy with a 17-year-old dog, and I'll show you a guy that's tired and... What? No, that's not the expression. You're making that up. That's a fake quote now. Okay, got it. So anyway, but I thought that that was the whole thing, because everyone is the idea that we get dogs for such a short amount of time.

Yeah, I mean, I know that it's cheaper than cloning the dog, which is what other, that's what Tom Brady did, didn't he? Well, we looked at, we spoke to that cloning expert at the time we tried to clone Betty White when she was about to die. And they said that the cloning is still not even legal in this country. You can clone the dogs in Korea and then they'll send the one, they'll send them over here. But who knows really, because they look similar. And I know the people that have done it claim, oh, you can tell they've got the spirit of the same dog. But then some people have met, the dogs have met their cloned versions of themselves. Whoa, really?

Yeah, that person was telling us. And they said it gets real weird real quick. Because the dog is like, hold on. It's like that Spider-Man meme. Yeah, that's exactly that. Both red rocketing at the same time. All right, we get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. And perhaps the greatest hour of your life on KROQ.

This is the world famous KROQ. Okay, welcome to your weekend and good morning. It's Friday at KROQ, the show today. We're going to all get the hell out of here. And go swimming together, which is weird, I think. There's something strange about being in bathing suits. Honestly, I've been thinking about that. I was like, it's a little weird.

They're going to see me in a bathing suit. Yeah, being in bathing suits with coworkers, I don't know why it seems weird. It's just weird. I think it just rolls with the whole theme of your party, which is just weird in general. I don't even think it's going to make it the full two hours. I know that people are going to tap out early. I actually do have to leave early. Jake, you're not staying.

When the first person leaves, Jake, you must leave with them. Uh-uh, I'm going to crash on your couch. Can we all close our eyes, and then when we open our eyes, we're just in the pool? That's what we'll do. Because it's the transition. Maybe we all wear T-shirts into the water. That sounds like a fun party. I'll just go in those.

And then we'll take the T-shirts off before they get really heavy and wet. I think our next guest is going to think we're very cool when she comes in here in moments. I'm glad she's hearing this conversation. Julia Wolf, fresh off of a performance at Lollapalooza and future performances here in Southern California, which we will get into, including one in San Diego that we're sending some listeners to, that Petco Park show, where she's opening up for Pierce the Veil. We got her stopping by to hang out in the K-Rock studios in mere moments, and that'll be very exciting because I believe that is maybe the current biggest song that we are playing on K-Rock right now.

And that means a lot. to dethrone the greats like the Chili Peppers and Sublime and Green Day, which we play a lot of. Anything that cuts through smells like teen spirit. I know. Memorable. Julia Wolf will be joining us this hour in the KROQ studios. Don't believe us?

You can watch us as we are streaming live on YouTube right now. Today is Omar's birthday. It is not a national holiday, although it should be, because it's also the birthday of a great Magic Johnson. But thank you for spending some of it with us here. My name's Klein. That's Allie. Morning.

That is Jake the Nerd over there. Who's that? Birthday boy DJ Omar Khan, the audio sniper. Then in the back, you've got Postmaster Johnny, The Idiot, and Producer Vanessa. And we will get into everything we have in store for you. But right now, I'm looking for a caller 20 at 800-520-1067. So we can give you our final four pack of tickets for you to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain. You'll have more chances to win with Sluggo and more chances to win all day on K-Rock.

But this is the last set we have to give you. And that means we'll qualify one more person for those 2027 gold passes. Is this David? Yo! David, you are the 20th caller. No way. Can I give Omar a happy birthday? No.

I don't even think Omar wants that. Omar, do you want a birthday shout-out? I don't want it at all. Omar's going to pass on that. Okay. Birthday, Omar. Hey! I'm glad you did it.

You know, I'll take that. That was great. That was great. Good job, man. A great stutter for the Omar. That was so funny. Yeah, happy birthday, you freak. everybody if you'd like to call for this hour give omar a happy birthday i'm sure you'd appreciate

it so all right great well there you go well worth it david thank you that was the caller of the day right there david nice to meet you enjoy those tickets 20th caller and the best caller we've had so far today sublime now uh julie wolf next on k-rock k-rock we are klein alley show and every once in a while they let other humans join us in the studio which is nice for us julia wolf has one of the biggest songs that we are currently playing on k-rock which is called in my room and it's not a new song but it may be new to you because we're starting to play it a lot but first of all julia welcome to k-rock thank you thanks for being here i know it's probably uh thrilling to hear your song on the radio still are you over that by now i will

never be over that that's what you claim trust me we've talked to a lot of bands they are over it no weezer they're over it they are over it big time now uh it's uh it's been something that uh we've uh obviously we're playing the more we're playing the more people are asking for it and it's wild to think that here you are now in our studio and we're going to put it on in a moment for people to hear it actually we've been playing that i think three times a morning pretty much every day this week but you wrote that song uh this was at this point what two years ago three years ago yeah yeah two two are we slower is that because we're slow or did it finally has it just taken on a life of its own recently it's definitely taken on a life of its own but it took me posting

about it pretty much three times a day for about a year before it really found its place online i I found this to be so fascinating, and I think it's a great way for other people to study how to break through the noise, because you're a huge fan of all things Twilight. That's your thing. And you know that that fan base is a passionate-ass fan base. Yes. You wanted your music to get out there, so you just started putting your songs into clips from the movie, and those got spread among the Twilight community.

It was almost a genius way to sneak in. Yeah, you're inserting it into a world that you're already in. You basically made yourself the unofficial soundtrack of a movie franchise that you were just a huge fan of. And then the fans started putting in their own brains, connecting your music with that, all things Twilight. And then you just got embraced. Completely. And then they kind of blew it up online for you. Which was incredible because I am quite self-conscious when it comes to being on video and being the one who has to promote the music and show myself.

So I needed an outlet so that it wasn't just me all the time. and of course i am the biggest twilight fan and it just made sense to inject myself in that community so that we can all be fangirls and we can all relate to the same thing of wishing we were with edward collins wishing that we could be vampires and in love and since you've broken out as an artist in the twilight world have you been in contact with the cast at any point has there been any movement there is that a bucket list thing for you i know your new tour you're going to be starting in forks washington yes i mean for me just getting to play those shows at bella swan's house was the peak for me um but yeah i'm gonna be doing that forks festival it's like a

twilight festival and i think some of the actors will be there but no i haven't really connected with but but were you were a fan of the books first oh yes okay so but if they were ever to reboot that series would that be something you're on board with or are you like no it needs to stay the way it was i am a fan of things remaining when they are perfect already and to me the first movie cannot be touched it cannot be redone there's just no need the blue filter like but do you think that now you got so entrenched in that twilight world that you because i don't know if this is true or not you you have actually hired a witch uh you've gone to the world of the dark right you've hired a witch off etsy true or false okay so you you now love this mystical

magical stuff and what when you hire a witch on etsy what's the goal what's your end game with that that's really funny that you know that well what are you what are you trying to do like what is your goal to do that like uh you're trying to a spell are you trying to yeah on an x on what an x you put a spell on an x no no no it's always stuff about like help me find inspiration or like protection. You think it's a real witch or you think you got scammed? I think it's always better if I do it myself, but I was on tour when I did that. I was like,

I don't have my things here. I can't light these candles on the bus, so, like, let me just mess around with Etsy witches. And you found someone on Etsy, a witch. What does that cost, a witch on Etsy? Oh, nothing. I think it's like 10 bucks. I think you can get a spell for pretty cheap.

I'm going to tell you something about Allie, and I found this out off the air. You guys apparently went to the same college. We went to college together. I don't know if you know that. It must be one of those witch colleges, because Allie also plays in the dark arts, and she... It actually kind of was. I mean, it's a very alternative college. They tried to start a sorority, and people protested.

But I want to ask you, Julia Wolf is in our studio right now, by the way, and we make Allie, we feel bad about herself, because she does go sit in these goddess moon circles, and she makes moon water and stuff. I do a moon circle group, yeah. Oh, God. Every new moon and full moon. I know, and I make moon water. Oh, my gosh.

Can I join the coven? Yeah. Oh, no. Don't encourage this behavior. I love it. You can't encourage this behavior. This one, and it's gotten too big. It's now at a bigger space because there are so many women.

Now they have, like, it used to just be a circle. Now it's like multiple circles, like shark teeth just in rows. I thought you got thrown out, though. I thought you got tossed. I didn't get tossed. I thought you weren't participating in the cauldron burn or something. Well, you know, my wife and I like to go together, and now that we have a kid, it's just a little harder to go in person and do them.

Yeah, yeah. Plus, it's a women-only group, so he wouldn't be able to come to that. This is the kind of stuff you're into. Manifestation letters, burn letters, and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, you can get really deep with it. Wow, look at her. Mind is blown out. No, I'm huge on the manifestation. I feel like it's honestly a big reason why

things worked out the way they did. Because I was just writing down exactly what I wanted every single day for like a year. And so it is done. Did you write down coming into K-Rock in Los Angeles and sitting across from a burly lesbian?

And a guy with five nose jobs? Did you write this down on your page or no? That's for me to know. Okay, well, that's incredible. You can't know what's in the letter. We get back in a moment. We will play you the Julia Woolf song that's getting a lot of airplay on KROQ these days. Talk a little bit about the tour where you'll see her upcoming, sadly, these shows.

Good for you, of course. Already sold out. The upcoming one's in October, which means, no offense to the Fonda, great venue. Too small for you now at this point. You've outgrown your venues, which means you must go to bigger places. We will get into that and more after this with KROQ's newest artist, superstar Julia Woolf next. That is new K-Rock music. It is called In My Room by Julia Wolf.

And Julia Wolf is in the K-Rock studios right now. Hello. How does that sound to you? It sounds like we made it in our bedroom, which is what we did. It's kind of crazy. It's kind of tough because I'm pregnant. It makes me cry. Oh, Alan's getting emotional now.

But to be fair, also the commercials for Chipotle make her cry too. Honestly, I'm the same way. Fresh off of Lollapalooza, I don't know if that was one of the things that you had manifested for yourself as well, but that's obviously one of the the big ones right there to go there on stage in front of that many people biggest crowd you've ever played for i'm sure oh my gosh yes did uh did you have the did you freak out ahead of time did you have the swamp ass which i know has been a problem on the road as well oh my god i mean the 2 p.m slot obviously my initial thing when i saw that was like okay no one's coming and that's fine that's fine i'm used to that um but then when i got there it was

the biggest crowd i've ever seen it starts raining during the sun that's right the perfect amount the twilight of it all like we just brought the pacific northwest to chicago that day and it was incredible oh my god and you're obviously embarking on a new tour but in some of the many locations that you've been over the last year did you you lost a tooth on on the tour what happened there I may have made it look like I lost it on tour, but I've actually had this tooth missing for quite a while. Okay. I was like, damn, this went hard. I know.

No, I just never have gotten it fixed, which I need to do that. My teeth fall out during the show sometimes. Yeah, he doesn't have his two front teeth, actually. They're fake. Baseball incident. What was yours? Meth? No, I had a root canal gone bad.

A root canal gone bad. That's a good story. Good story. Get her on the lie detector test. You went to the same college as I did, and I assume we had the same college experience. Did you also take ecstasy and then fall asleep with a lit cigarette in your hand? Or was your experience at Purchase College different than mine? You know, it was a little different.

I would say I mostly didn't leave my room. Well, and you majored in music composition, but I think you were mainly a, you know, you would focus on playing the instruments. But was there from the beginning the idea of like, well, I can sing too. i know that i'm going to be singing my own music or were you planning on just being a background composer and then suddenly it pivoted it's exactly that where in my heart i knew okay i'm going to be a singer and there is no plan b for me but i just couldn't admit that out loud to people so i would say like yeah i'll do film score or you know i'll work at carnegie hall like i don't know whatever it was um but i knew that i wanted to sing yeah and uh how many people since now you've started

to break through and you have the song that is getting more popular by the day have reached out to say either wow you you proved me wrong you were right you did it or any any famous people that you look up to that have reached out to you but i just want to let you know love your song you're on the right track i mean yes it has happened yes um and i think but the best thing is like how i brought in my room to pretty much every label you could think of and they all said know. That's the best. And now they all are like, hey, remember when we talked about that, like, whatever, and they're trying

to come back. That's a great feeling. Yeah, because, I mean, listen, the reality is you're going to get rejected in life. It doesn't matter what. Jake, right? Relationships happen all the time. Jake gets rejected all the time. And now look at you. Sitting in that back room in those jean shorts, holding that dog, right? And you're

showing us, but the point is you're going to get rejected. All those girls that rejected you, you're going, the one that got away. I always find that to be so fascinating. A TV show becomes a monster hit, and you hear about all the stations that passed on it and you go these are professionals and they passed on the biggest show ever breaking bad they got passed on by all these different networks you know you you went in you played your music you watched them look at it they probably looked you in the face yeah it's fine it's not for us or whatever yeah i just didn't have the numbers yet i didn't have the numbers

that they wanted go work on your social media following and come back and see us oh my god makes my blood boil hearing that we hear that regularly and they also tell us to work on our physical appearance and smells oh we get that a lot we're still working on hey let me ask you We have some instruments in the studio because we were playing these earlier today. You see that little keyboard right there, the Cocomelon keyboard? I do. Do you think you could play that since you're trained musically? Whoa.

Could you make that sound good? Anything at all? We're not going to judge here. Oh. Is it even on? I turned it on. Oh, there we go. There you go.

Oh, you're good. Now she's ready. Is that you? That's incredible. Is that an original? Yep, that was it. Let me hear. Let me hear.

Just here, I'll put you on the spot here. It's Julia Wolf. I know this one. This is good Is this an original too? I learned that in college Yeah, yeah, yeah We wrap up all chats

at KROQ with not one but two epic questions Here we go Two Two Two Epic Epic

Question Question Question Julia Wolf on Instagram at JuliaWolfNYC Song you're hearing a lot on KROQ these days in my room

New single Deep End which you can check out on all streaming platforms and shows coming up, including the one at the Fonda sold out already on the 25th and 26th of October.

But we have sent some listeners to Petco Park in San Diego September 12th, where she will be opening for Pierce the Veil. So there you go. Just a sampling of what you can look forward to.

Julia Wolf, question number one. Epic question number one. Allie, what is it? Julia Wolf, you go to a restaurant and you would like to sit outside and they say, I'm sorry, we don't have outside available.

We either have inside or you can wait. What is your choice? I'm definitely sitting inside because I hate bugs. Oh, you're an insider. Oh, Cocomelon's turning on. Cocomelon agrees. That means you got that right, I guess.

So you would rather, but if your choice was not available, you wouldn't wait. You would just take first available. You want to sit down. Yeah, I want to sit down quick. Of course. I mean, unless, what's the view? Are we like on a pretty dock somewhere? Then I'll wait.

For me, it doesn't matter. Even if it's one minute, I'm like, I'm sitting wherever you want to put me. Pretty much. I'll eat right now. You can bring me. I'll eat the food at the host stand and just start eating. That's a good question. Epic question number two.

You've now performed in front of tens of thousands of people. What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen anyone doing in a crowd while you've been performing? Because I know you're looking out and you're seeing people do things. There's more pressure now than ever before on artists to stop a show if someone looks like they're getting trampled and whatever. But every once in a while, you've got to just see someone going knuckles deep, picking their nose. You're going, that's interesting. What is one thing you've witnessed happen at one of your shows from someone in the crowd? I mean, the most ridiculous thing that happened, because obviously my crowd is a bit softer, like we're emotional, whatever.

But these two guys just started wailing at each other, like punching each other in the face. During one of your songs? Yeah, I'm like, guys, this is not the vibe. We're all emailing out here. What are you doing? It was so random and weird and everyone was like, what? Maybe it opened up some skeletons in their soul that they couldn't figure out how to handle.

I'm so vulnerable. I don't like this feeling. Kick me in the face. Julia Wolf, thank you for coming by KROQ. Thank you so much, guys. This was awesome. Thank you. I look forward to seeing big things from you

in the immediate future and long-term future. And you can remember that we were friends. And now it's nice to know that Allie has moved down another peg on most successful people to ever graduate from her college. Allie is now out of the top 100. Me and Stanley Tucci, Wesley Snipes, Yes, Regina Spector and more.

And Julia Wolf. That's right. Yeah, and Ice Spice. Ice Spice, that's right. Well, Julia Wolf has just bumped Allie down another spot, so Allie is now out, and they'll stop hitting her up for money. All right, goodbye. K-Rock, we are a Klein Allie show, and that will pretty much do it for us today.

But don't worry, Sluggo's in in moments. He's got more of those tickets for you to go to Six Flags, so if that's what you're waiting around for, just keep waiting. We talked to someone yesterday. They tried 46 times before finally getting through. And I know that seems like a real waste of time and effort and probably not great at their job if they're spending all their time calling us but you know what they ended up with the tickets so they got the last laugh so i've

only tried a few times can't get through just keep trying to win stuff next week there's some exciting things to give you and to talk about including but not limited to hold on i've lost my sheet i know we're going to announce that endless summer kegger this pool party today sadly is not going to be the pool or the party that it was once going to be so as a result next week we're going to figure out a uh we're going to tell you the location and how you can get involved in our endless summer kegger that will be a party that we can all go to together to hang out and have one last hurrah before technically the year begins again. We've got that to get into.

We also have tickets for you to go to Just Like Heaven at the Brookside at the Rose Bowl. Oh, nice. You'll see the strokes, LCD sound system and more. And then, of course, next week will be finally the official week of the big gender reveal as we send someone into a helicopter to launch hot dogs and or tacos into the streets of L.A. And we find out if Allie's got a boy or girl growing inside of her body. I also think next week is going to be the kickoff of the dumb-off. The dumb-off is back.

The return of the dumb-off. The dumb-off. I don't think anything has led to more fighting on the show than the dumb-off. A lot of times about the questions that are involved, but really it comes down to, will Allie three-peat as the dumbest on the show? Not a three-peat. Yeah, three-peat! No, because I tied one year with Johnny, and then there was definitely a year where I didn't win.

I think you've always... Like four years ago. You won last year, too. Yeah, you've always been, at least in the finals, the dumb-off. You beat me. And you get so mad about things. Is Julia Wolf gone? She's gone.

Is she hearing this? But she's hearing this part, too, in the elevator. Julia Wolf, Allie's dumb. We went to the same school? Yeah, yeah. Not possible. We went to college together. You definitely did not go to college together.

You went to a college that she went to many, many years later. But I don't think you learned anything at it because you majored in, like, accents or something. That's what that school is. It's like an art school. Do they even have real classes there? Yes, because then all those people were just people who were like, this is my state school. Well, in honor of back to school next week, Ali will be competing to see if she can get as many rings as I'm trying to think who's got the most rings. Let's go with Tom Brady.

I was going to go Tom Brady, but I think more than that, though. I feel like we need some more. Yes, it can all get more rings than Sonic the Hedgehog in the dumb off. That'll be next week. Next week, we get that to look forward to as well. All right. Takeaways from today's show. What do we got?

9-1-7, my takeaway is, as Gandhi once said, show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a man who's tired of effing her. Yep, that's a Gandhi quote. We found out. We looked at it and it's been fact-checked. 4-2-4, my takeaway is, you don't want to be an alley at Trader Joe's. No, you don't. 8-1-8, happy birthday, Omar. You blow out your candles.

That'd be a sloppy-ass cake if Omar blows out the candles. Mode about that whole cake. 8-1-8, don't ask Vanessa to Google shuttlecock. 3-1-0 you got a pregame with a mustard sandwich I don't know what she said after I asked her

about shuttlecocks today she says shadow cubs but she definitely cursed us again that's the third time in a row we've been cursed by her this week that's probably why

they brought in that witch today to talk to us because of Vanessa 5-6-2 AP classes are for foreigners 3-2-3

grizzlies like pool parties and 6-2-6 gingers were brought to this country after World War II that's right make us all feel better about things

what's your take away from today's show Postmaster Johnny Magic Johnson is ageless and abeless That's right. Not well said, but I know what you're saying.

Vanessa, speaking of not well said, take away. She ain't here. Oh, she's gone. Where the hell did she go? She's on her way to the pool party already. She's so excited. Why? She wanted to go home and go get her pool floaties.

I think she did leave. It takes 20 minutes to get to Klein's house. I did see her run down the hall. I don't know. Was she pooping? She must be. She's probably nervous about being in a bathing suit. Me too.

Why are we doing this, guys? I don't know. This is why I said. This is going to be so fun, guys. No one wants to go. Why don't I just have Johnny over at your house and be done with it? It's going to be like an average Thursday. All right, Johnny, you got to get into the pool, man.

Well, Jake's going to race Allie in a swimming race. That's going to happen because we believe that Allie, a pregnant woman, is going to beat Jake in swimming. No way. Because Jake believes that swimming is for children, and that means he's not good at it. No, I said pools are for children. Jake, can you do a backstroke? I could do a front stroke. Do you know how to do a backstroke?

Not really, no. A breaststroke? That I could do. With those breasts, I bet you can. Oh, my God, he will beat me with a breaststroke. They could displace all the water from the pool. We're still talking about swimming, right? I think so.

I'm not sure anymore. What's your takeaway from today's show, Jake? 11 people is too many people for a party. Sure is. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is that Klein is also throwing a birthday party for Tim Tebow, Mila Kunis, Spencer Pratt, Halle Berry. Are they all on birthdays today?

Cindy from the Brady Bunch. Oh. Marsha Gay Harden, Danielle Steele, Steve Martin, and 562 on the text line. Hey, 562. Happy birthday. We don't care about celebrity birthdays here, but we do care about you, 562, and DJ Omar Khan. Omar, your takeaway? My takeaway is that buckets rule when there's an earthquake.

Yeah, you got to have a bucket on the standby. It's the one thing that's staying between you and dying during an earthquake. There's a bucket. Have a great weekend. We'll do it next week. Try to do it better. Here's your weekend anthem, and then that's all we got for you. Okay, bye.

I got a baby on the way. I got a jug of jizz. it's not about that monday tuesday no one cares about wednesday thursday forget that noise are you ready for the weekend Emojin poops? Okay, Zinus. I am just a dumb guy. Is that okay for radio?

Yeah. I have a lot of anxiety why do you think i poop now wow i really regret that last show but it's too late to take it back now it will live forever on the interwebs and potentially in your memories that was the good thing about radio when we started this show it would live in the air and disappear in the moment but now you can hold all these clips against us forever the best thing about radio is that you can picture what we look like without having to see it for reals unfortunately now that has changed yes you can watch us on live stream on k-rock and you can click like subscribe it really helps us

out. And it's a benefit for you because it'll probably feel better about your own appearance. That's what it's all about. Expensive plastic surgery or just watching us and looking in the mirror and feeling better. That's what you can do right now as we are on KROQ YouTube, live streaming every morning. If you want to check out part of the show while you're getting ready, then put us on the radio, drive and work, then get to work and avoid your coworkers by listening to us while streaming. There are so many ways for you to embrace the show and every one of those ways helps us. So even if you're leaving for the day, please put the YouTube on, leave it on for your cat, your dog, your hamster, it all helps us on KROQ's YouTube.

And anytime you want to see a blind taste test, a beer, or a lie day Friday in person, you can see it all on the live stream. Really dumb radio bits are best with a visual aid. Unk! Unk! Unk!