Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein Blows, Jake Sucks & Ally's Whipped (FULL SHOW 7/28)

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

Klein has taken on a new hobby. He plans to become an expert at leaf-blowing. It's perhaps his strangest endeavor so far, but if you'd like to hire Klein for a weekly blow & go please let us know. All of us who are in relationships are allegedly whipped by our partners, but who's the MOST whipped? Jake shared things we've done with/for our significant others recently and it was unbelievably to hear how spineless we really are. Spoiler alert: someone on the show rented a snorkel to find their wife's bracelet in the pool. Comedian Ryan Hamilton stopped by the studio to talk about his traumatic experience getting hit by a shuttle bus at LAX, almost killing him. It led to a call-in topic on near death experiences which included a story about a guy going into a six month coma after a motorcycle accident. We also did a live on air gender reveal for a listener couple who's expecting, and as usual we screwed it up.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet David Stank, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get this show started. The show started. show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show. 106.7 KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah, good morning. Welcome to a Tuesday. It's K-Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. Sprinting through the end of July and then we still have, I guess, technically another month of summer, although...

I think people are starting to wind down. Everywhere I look, it's back to school this and back to school that. I know we're moving ahead. I already saw Halloween stuff out. I'm going, this ain't right, but every year it's just going faster and faster to the point where I think pretty soon, if we're not already there, it's just going to be everything

is going to be out year-round. I don't even think they're going to bother the whole charade of pulling it off the shelves for a month and then putting it back out again. And the seasons depend on where you go, too. If you go to Target, it's back to school. If you go to Costco,

it's Halloween. It's Halloween. They just skip right to it. Then I saw some Christmas stuff up at Costco last time I was there already, too. And I get it. People want to get in

on stuff early and they feel like they, you know, but it's... I think also they enjoy the reactions of people walking by going, oh, already? They like that.

What? That shit have a camera. People are shocked. Oh, what? It says July still. It's July. But here we are together again. It'll be worth your while today

to give us some time because we have for you KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout which means tickets to all of the amazing shows happening in Southern California over the next few months and we will get you in starting as soon as 9am this morning and then every hour thereafter all day long

also to beat the heat this heat wave is back baby $100 food and beverage credit cabana for four at Wild Rivers Waterpark in Irvine will make that happen for you this morning as well we've experienced that first hand Vanessa and I and it was a great time when I say that cabana

I feel like it's a must you have to get the cabana for sure 100%. And Park Week is continuing. I was going through just some of the many submissions we received just day one of Park Week. I'm not surprised. We shouldn't be surprised that every year there's just even more terrible parkers. I think the bar gets higher.

Like the base gets higher every year. I'll tell you what I was shocked about. The amount of people, usually, look, we get a lot of people that submit cars over the lines. That's pretty standard. The amount of cars taking over four spots has blown my mind this year. And I know that people do it for different reasons. Either they are completely unaware with how lines work, or I think people want to make sure their car doesn't get tapped or dinged. So they go ahead and they do the four-spot takeover, which is insanity.

If you think you're so self-important, you can take four spots. Right, and the fact that parking lots are so crowded all the time, rarely do you find one where there are spots to spare. So the fact that you have the balls to intentionally take that up. But then there are people who are just bad at parking. My mother is notoriously horrible at parking. She cannot do it. She'll park badly and then see what she did and then still walk away. Because I've done the thing, and it's embarrassing to do it.

I've done it before where I think in my mind, I park decent. Then I'll kind of walk away from the car, see how bad it is. You see the crookedness. I'll see how bad it is, and then I'll be like, I should probably get back in that thing and move it. And that's a terrible thing to have to do, but at least I try to do that for society. Do you usually go back and move it? Usually. There's been a few times where I'm parking on the curb next to my house.

At least in my mind, I'm on the curb. And then I will, like, get a glimpse of it from a little further away. I'm kind of in the middle. Synoptical illusion. Yeah, I'm in the middle of the street. Like, I did not plan that well at all. I am blocking traffic right now. I'm a hazard.

My mother would always do, do you think I should repark? And for a while, I'd be like, yes. But it wouldn't get better. This is terrible. Now I'm like, no, let's just get out of the car. Well, listen, Park Week's officially underway. You come across a bad parker this morning or any time during the day, please get us the pictures immediately, tag us, Klein Alley Show,

and submit them officially so you can win this amazing Park Week prize pack as you save society. Submit your photos to krock.com slash parkweek. We've got that to get to. Much more as we kick things off with the theme show with Linkin Park on KROQ. Good morning. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show, an exciting show to be listening to today because we will be revealing the gender, not of Alley's baby.

We don't know that yet. I mean, she does, but she hasn't shared that with the rest of us. We have some listeners that reached out to us. They said they have a sealed envelope from their doctor. They do not know the details inside. at some point later this morning when we feel like we've run out of other things to do. We will open up that envelope and share with them the news

and they'll be listening on KROQ. So someone's going to, you'll all be part of a gender reveal because those always usually go well. And it's always great to be a part of a gender reveal so you can talk about it to other people who don't care. That's right. It's like hearing about someone's dream last night. Oh my God.

I had to hear about somebody's dream yesterday and I had to hear about somebody's book they were reading yesterday. Oh man. Both equally bad, I think. I would argue those are all skips. If you could swipe in real life the way you could through a TikTok video you don't care about, that would be the time to do it. Story about dreams, story about book you're reading, story about medical problem.

Yeah, you just got to look them right in the face and go, the algorithm is off. This is not for me. I don't care about any of this. Thumbs down. But the gender reveal we care a lot about because a listener reached out to make us a special part of their day or whatever, and it'll be great. And most of you won't care, but that's okay. We will figure out how we're going to do that at some point. And if you remember, the first time we did Allie's gender reveal, it backfired.

Not as bad as some of those people that start forest fires accidentally or people that die. But this one was water-based. Yeah, we sent Allie's car through a car wash with all of the windows down. And inside of the car was a man by the name of Beer Muck holding a bath bomb. And inside of the bath bomb, there was either a blue or a red or whatever the hell it was. But we lost the bath bomb in the car wash. Blue or red? Blue or pink.

Do you not know how these things work? I don't think we got the right bath bomb. I think you're the wrong guy to do this, man. Well, I'm probably not the right guy to do it. It's gray. It's your congratulations. You're having a gray baby. So regardless, we'll try to do it better for the other person.

This is going to be a practice run so that we can prove to Allie we're good at it again so that then we can do hers on the air. I mean, I do think back to a few years ago when Beer Mug was just on the phone going, I think it's blue! I think it's blue! He couldn't see it inside the car wash. He got soap in his eyes. Soap in his eyes.

The inside of Allie's car got destroyed. It was a total disaster, and at the end of it all, I think he dropped the, whatever the stupid colored thing was, fell. We lost it in the car wash. Yeah, it was a bit full disintegrated. I think eventually Allie just told us in the middle of the bit. She's like, it's a boy. All right, we're like, great, yippee. So anyway, we have that to look forward to.

And then later today, in our studio, from the Netflix special, his second Netflix stand-up special, Ryan Hamilton will be stopping by. Here's a little tease. I don't even use my gym. I wander in every three months, and I go, I don't know how to do this. my entire workout the whole thing is based on whatever machine is open that's how i do it i walk around like a lost toddler for three and a half minutes and then i go i guess i'm going to do neck today i don't know i'm just gonna bang out a few on the scoliosis machine all right that's my strategy so anyway uh he will be stopping by to hang out with us today

ryan hamilton who was recently hit by a bus almost died so if you almost died as well you can try to one up his almost died story for your chance to win your way into wild rivers that'll all be happening later this morning if you'd like ali's money call and claim it right now at 800-520-1067 we have five questions about things happening in the world it's called ali knows the news or you know the news better than she does in which case she will pay you her money call now play next on k rock five questions 100 bucks bragging rights for life and a chance to tell ali to go back where she came from that's right that can all be yours right now if you're on the phone for a little ali and there's the news action every morning around this time.

And I don't know how you're feeling today, Allie. I know pregnant still, but are you feeling with it, out of it? I'm feeling rested, but brain fog. Ah, brain fog. Yeah, the old brain fog. Can't remember things. Friend of the contestant. So once again, Allie will do that thing where she goes,

I know the answer, but I just don't know the answer. Exactly, yep. So let's just say good morning to you. Allie acts like it's because of the pregnancy. She's like that all the time. Shut up, Omar. That's a great point. I've never actually known you to not have brain fog.

The fog is there all the time. It gets everything twisted. Like, it's very strange the way her brain works. Okay, come on. There's sharpness in there. Deep, deep embedded. There's never a person in my life I've known that has been more confident about being wrong. Like, Jake is wrong a lot, but he knows he's wrong, but he...

That's ridiculous. Allie is so convinced sometimes about things or people that she's met or conversations she's had that just never happened like that. It's daily things like that that I can't remember. Yeah. People we've met, interactions we've had. Can't remember. Walt, you're about to take the money from a handicapped pregnant woman.

Are you okay with that? I'm definitely okay with that. Great. Good. I like that. You've come to the right place. Then Allie will step out of here. She can get out of the KROQ studios as soon as she's officially sequestered in the hallways.

You get to go first. You will not be listening to these questions. Answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately so we can pay the people. And here we go. Allie knows the news. Oh, 7.1 quake has just hit which country? A 7.1 shaker. Which country got it?

I'm going to go with Thailand. Thailand. We've got a question number two. A plane landed in a very interesting place in Southern California yesterday. Emergency landing. Not expected. Where did this plane land? A golf course.

On a golf course. That seems to be one of those places. Planes go down. We've got a question number three. This athletic animal is returning to the big screen in 2027. which Athletic Animal franchise is now back again? Cocaine Bear. Oh, goddamn, I hope so.

Love that Cocaine Bear, man. Finest movies ever made. I don't know how they didn't win any awards. Crazy. Question number four. The music of this icon is now heading to Broadway also in the year 2027. So get ready.

Big year for 2027. The music of which icon is coming to Broadway? I think it's Prince. Prince. And finally, we will end it here. If you remember that creepy guy, Brian Koberger, who killed all those college kids, he's now back in the news, even though I believe he's in the middle of serving four consecutive life sentences.

Why is he back in the news all of a sudden? Somebody wants to get married to him? Someone wants to marry him. I'll tell you, that is the craziest thing. You know, you think about the fact that Jake's having all the success now on the dating apps and the fact that these deranged killers go to prison and still have all these people that send letters that go, I get you, I love you. It is wild to think if you're having trouble dating in this world, it seems like these prisoners are getting no shortage of offers. We'll find out if that's the right answer in a moment. Ali's coming back into the KROQ Studios.

Thank you for playing and hopefully we pay you some money. Here we go. Ali has reentered the world famous KROQ Studios now. Brain fog intact. It's question number one. Where am I? Out. You're in the K-Rock studios.

It's exactly where you were three seconds ago before you left. Hello, do I know you? A 7.1 quake has just shook which country? Just got the earthquake this morning. Interesting. Don't know about this. Maybe Japan? Maybe Japan, she says.

I'll tell you, you're better sometimes guessing than you are when you think you know. Because when you guess, you have a chance. When you think you know, you don't. He said Thailand, but the correct answer is Japan. 7.1. Allie on the board early. She goes up 1-0 early as we go to question two. Plane landed in an interesting location yesterday, an emergency landing.

Where was the location in Southern California where the plane actually had a landing? This one I do remember hearing this morning, and I don't remember where exactly, but it was on the beach. It was a beach landing. I will accept that, I believe. More specifically, it was Huntington Beach. Oh, yeah, Huntington Beach. But, yeah, he guessed golf course. It was pretty incredible to watch that thing come down.

And I know, Omar, you successfully landed a plane on a runway like a loser. But this guy landed the plane on the beach and did it beautifully. I mean, the camera footage. I can do that, too. Oh, boy. I can't even walk on the sand. Yeah, here we go. That is a correct answer.

Allie goes up 2-0. And you can check out that footage pretty much everywhere today. Question number three. This athletic animal returning to the big screen in 2027. Oh, Air Bud. Air Bud is back, baby. It's like athletic animal. I don't know which sport he'll be playing again.

Is it back to basketball? I know Air Bud has kind of dominated all the sports. Air hockey, I think. Air hockey would be great. I'd love to see that. Just keeps chewing up the puck. I don't know. Flag football's big now.

I think he's done that one before. They've made 14 of these movies. I didn't realize that. 14? Pickleball's all the rage. Oh, yeah. Air Bud should be playing pickleball. Then he just hurts his knee and has to sit out.

Oh, I thought I was more athletic. Allie has gotten a perfect score. So make fun of her for being brain fog. Look at her, three for three. Not looking good for you, Walt, with two questions left. Here we go. The music of this icon is heading to Broadway in 2027. Ah, Prince.

He said that one. Prince as well. Purple Rain, the musical, coming to Broadway. It'll be great. Correct. When is Air Bud coming to Broadway? That's what I want to know. That's something I'd sit through.

And finally. It's just an animatronic dog being operated by dancers. It's a real dog. No dancers. Just let us look at the dog. Okay. Shoot a couple baskets. Final question.

Doesn't matter at this point for Walt, but here we go. That crazy Brian Cobanger, whatever that guy's name is, the killer. Cobanger? I forget it. I said his name a moment ago. Coburger? That's the guy. He's back in the news today.

I can't read your writing. I can't read my writing. Why is he back in the news? Oh, I don't know. It's been everywhere. Yeah, this was the biggest story of the bunch. What, did he kill himself? Oh, interesting.

You would think, four consecutive life sentences. He is claiming, and I will say that Walt guessed that he was going to get married behind bars. Oh, that's a good guess. Some weirdo. But he's claiming that his attorneys made him confess to the murders. And he is innocent, and he would like to basically retract his plea. Do a whole thing where he takes away his plea and gets a retrial. And I think that we all can assume that that's a great way to spend everyone's time and money, right?

Yeah, absolutely. Just do it all over again. No one gets the point on the easiest question, but Allie still smoked your ass and beat you by a handful. Walt, what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead. Allie knows the news. Sorry about that. But tomorrow morning, around this time, this exact same time, you'll have another chance to take Allie's money.

And she will be back with more brain fog. Double the brain fog. Double the brain fog and maybe even double the money. We'll see how generous we feel like making Allie tomorrow. Because it's not my choice. No, no. Why should it be? The Supreme Court decides how much you give away, as they should.

It's KROQ. We are a client alley show. Here's some strokes for you on this Tuesday morning. KROQ. We are a client alley show. On the way in this morning as I was perusing the parking lot alley to see if there was any terribly parked cars for park week, there's another woman who works in this building and she is definitely giving you a run for your money.

She has a license plate frame that says cat mom. She drives a Subaru and she has a bumper sticker that also wants to let you know that she is a cat mom. So she's doubling down on letting the world know she's a cat mom. She's trying to out-annoying me. She is trying to out-annoy. She doesn't park on our floor, so she must not work at the radio stations, but she must work at one of the more successful businesses. There must be an REI downstairs that I don't know about.

There must be some sort of an outdoor sporting goods store. But as I saw, I was behind this person pulling into the lot today, and I was thinking to myself, I wish Allie would move it along already. And then I realized, wait a minute, there's another person that is trying to steal your thunder. I bet she has a sick vest collection. Oh, she probably does. I wish I could go. 100% lesbian. You know, there's some, oh yeah.

100%. Yeah. But then there are weird ones like that are rogue into Ds. And I'm like, what's going on? Blows my mind sometimes. I'm like, you're into cats and Subarus and the outdoors. And you're like, men, what is happening in the world? But you know how you make some decisions in life and then you think, I think years later that was a bad choice.

And I wish I could go back in time and unmake that choice. This is about your son? This is about my kids. It's a terrible thing to realize when you're pregnant again. Pregnancy. All of it. What are you currently regretting right now? Well, when our cat died and then we were left with only one cat,

it was like, ah, now this cat's old and lonely and she needs company. We should get another cat. And then we go over to this hoarder cat lady's house and she convinces us to adopt two cats because when the old one dies, you don't want to have another solo cat that's just lonely now, so then you've got two of them. So now we're a three-cat household, and I never wanted to be a three-cat household, really. But in the long run, it seemed like the right choice.

No, it didn't. And we told you that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She conned you. We have audio. We have so much audio. They needed a home. If you're a woman and you are surrounded by 40 cats like this woman was, your job is to convince everyone that comes to take as many cats as they'll ever take.

And you are a sucker. You're a mark. And cats are fine by themselves. They love being loners. The thing that cats hate more than anything is company. Well, and they love being outside. They love being outside and wandering around and just finding food. You know, that's all indoor cats want to do is be outside.

You tried to normalize this woman, whatever her name was, Sheila or something. Rhonda. She's very nice, and she does do a lot of good work. You tried to normalize that what she was up to was on the up and up. And we said to you, this woman is insane, and her house is insanity, and she's trying to get out of the chaos that's her house. Didn't you play some audio of her husband in the other room? Guy couldn't even, guy was trying to watch a TV show.

I think he was sitting there dead inside with a laser pointer. Yeah, the guy was trying to watch a TV show and you couldn't even hear the TV over all the cats meowing. Well, and the last time I went there, the cats had all had gotten some kind of disease where they crapped on the trolley. Oh, my God. But my. And you're starting, like, you're seeing you in the future. You see what I'm saying? No, I'm not going to get any more cats, okay?

Because now we've run into a situation. Pull this tape, please. Yeah, pull, yeah, pull, yeah. Make a note. make a note on July whatever today we're not getting any more cats now do you remember when we talked to future Allie and she sounded so

we had a whole conversation with you from the future she sounded very tired I'm looking at her I'm looking at her now there's a reason too that I'm very tired because and I don't know if I think pet owners in general deal with this it's not just

cats but your animals when you have them for a while they develop a schedule a clock that they're very very married to you know if dog eats at a certain time they or they get walked at a certain time that is what they have this internal clock and it goes off some it's usually 10 minutes before the thing but they are ready right and our cats are now accustomed to waking up at like four in the morning because most days i get up at four in the morning so they go downstairs with me they all together all three of them traipse down the stairs with me i open the screen door for them so they can peer outside and hope that they can go

outside one day we have this little routine the problem is that on the weekends they also still get up at four in the morning but we would like to sleep in so this is the issue that we're running into but you're about to have a newborn baby so you know what you're sleeping in days you're done again anyway that's the other thing i'm worried about because these are new you know cats that have never been around an infant before so when the baby is born i'm worried that they're going to be those crazy suffocating cats that like jump in the crib and suffocate the baby. Well, there's that

to worry about. There's the cat. They can like get into stuff too because they're all young and spry. They got that cat scratch fever crap. Cat feline AIDS. All that stuff. By the way, I don't have toxoplasmosis, which I'm super bummed about because that means I continue to not

I'm not able to eat sushi. At least that's the one bonus. In a cage? Like overnight or whatever? I put my mud in the cage and it's fine. That's what we've been trying to figure out for the last six months, Omar, is what to do about these cats in the morning. Because they start a chain reaction. One of them's up. They're scratching at the food.

They're using the litter box. They're playing with each other. They get the zoomies, all that stuff, right? So if we close the door, they're meowing at the door. I used to put them in the closet downstairs, but that felt eventually cruel. Especially if we do it at 5 and we don't get up until 7 or 8. They're just sitting there in a closet for hours, which seems like animal cruelty. Do you like these cats?

I mean, would you be okay getting rid of two of them? See, that's the thing is now I'm developed. Now they're cute and they're ours and they have their little home. You really do feel that way? I do. If Omar got rid of his dog tomorrow, I don't think he would think about it ever again. No feeling. You couldn't stop me from dancing all the time.

He'd be the greatest day of his life. It's not just me. It's my kid also is very close to one of them. They sleep together every night. You do a draft. You all vote, which will do Survivor style. Well, I wish the old one would just... I thought the old one was about to be.

Yeah, but she's just... Now she's fine. She's just living. Get Vanessa over. She can speed things along. Stop it. You got a wall? And then the other option we were considering is a spray bottle, so that I would sleep with

a spray bottle, and any time they got up and meowed, I would spray them in the face with water. Right. But that seems like an issue as well. And I've heard it doesn't even work. So then Katie was researching, and by researching, I'm meaning talking to ChatGPT about what to do. And she said, ChatGPT said that we just need to ignore their existence. That's the only solution.

And I said, well, she said, we can't pet them. We can't acknowledge them. We can't talk to them. We just pretend like they don't exist. Yeah, they're going to turn on you. I'm just saying. Well, then what is the point of having animals then? I'm paying for their food.

Well, cats suck. We told you this. Everyone knows cats suck. That's the solution for every pet is just ignore them and pretend like they're not there. No, no, no, this is a solution for cats. Yeah. Because cats suck. You can train a dog.

And by the way, Al, you understand that they don't really care about you. Like, they're not having these thoughts about you at all. They're not thinking, oh, she's sleeping. My master is sleeping. I better respect that. Yes, they do. They want me to be up because they're comforted by me. I'm the only one who does give them attention.

And now because I'm supposed to ignore them, I'm, like, petting them in secret. And they probably know. Oh, no. I'm like, I can't love you. I can't love you. I was like, on my lap, and Katie's like, what is that? Under the stairs. Like, you know nothing.

We're not doing anything. Close the door. I'm masturbating. A1A wanted to know, did they make shock collars for cats? I mean, I'm sure that, if you're concerned about being cruel to animals, I would say that's probably near the top of the list of things to do. But maybe it's those ones where, you know, it doesn't actually shock them, it just gives them like a, you know, a gentle vibration, which they'll probably enjoy, and then do

it more. Yeah, but does anybody have this problem and has found a real solution? We can solve this right now. Call her 20 gets a cat. I mean, it's like a solvable problem. No, besides elimination. I wouldn't be able to tell you. Your dog probably gets up at a certain time every day, right?

No, he's cool because he knows. Actually, your dog's not cool. Why would you say that my dog's not cool? When you called me last Friday, you were getting home and all he was doing was barking his head off. All right, yeah, because that was my mistake. I shouldn't have called Jake. But right when I walked through the door, he was barking because he was excited to see me. Okay, so he barked for three minutes.

Wow, he barks for that long? Well, until I give him some attention. Yeah, he barks. See, but if you ignored him, he would probably stop that behavior. Yeah, but he also was probably telling me, get off the phone, it's Jake. He was probably giving me good advice. There's a lot of advice coming through on the text line, Allie, but most people are just saying that I'll take one of them cats off Allie's hands.

So you've got that to look forward to as well. Someone said I had to get rid of, remember my parents had to get rid of their cats when I was born because a cat came up and scratched me when I got home from the hospital. Yeah, but some people have to get, yeah, Yeah, because the pet is like, no, I'm not doing this baby crap. I didn't sign up for this. We will take a quick break. We'll get back in a second.

When we return, we have ADD news to get to. More importantly, we have tickets for you. It's part of KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout. And we get to all that after this on KROQ. Finally, show us what's happening in the world. Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. We've got lots to give you this morning. It's part of KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout.

And continue to send us all of the pictures you can come across of terribly parked cars as we attempt to save society. And I know that, you know, we have our own problems around here. In fact, Ali, this guy wanted to let us know that as a former Californian, now he lives on the East Coast, that he does not believe that we are the best drivers or parkers. He used to think we were, especially compared to what he's dealing with on the East Coast. But he says after that DMV test we took last week. Hey, good morning, Clyde and Ali. Hey, I lived in Southern California for about 20 years before moving to the East Coast.

I put in my token 500,000 miles or so on the road, driving from West Valley out to Pasadena or West Side for years. I always took great pride in the fact that California had the best drivers in America. So he was living this lie that the best drivers in America come how or live in Southern California. He said it's 500,000 miles he drove the road, same road, re-drive every day. And then he went to the East Coast where he says they're the worst drivers, but he feels very differently now. I got to tell you, after Friday's DMV challenge and all the crap I've given my New Jersey wife about her driving here in New Jersey, I take it all back. Holy crap. So we're going to go ahead and finish that test.

I think it's Jake versus Allie are going to determine. They're the two lead. They have the lowest scores on the DMV test. By like one. No, I think Allie actually lost. No, I didn't. And Vanessa's in the process of locking down the driving instructor who's going to give you guys both an actual behind-the-wheel test.

And we're going to do a demolition derby? We are locked. Well, we're locked. When's that happening, Vanessa? On Thursday after show. Oh, that's amazing. So also I would like to say that the written test is no reflection on how you actually drive. And yes, I'm not the best driver either, but if I put my mind to it, I am.

So you and Jake will both be getting a test with an actual instructor Thursday after the show, And whoever does worse on that test, he will give us the results on Friday. We'll have to then go spend the five hours in the DMV for no reason. Can I hire a sub? Nope. No, because we're going to make sure you're going to have to live stream your time in the DMV. It's going to be a terrible punishment. You know what?

And is that DMV going to be Friday? Is this a real driver school? This is real. And he was like, he asked me to print, like, the check mark. You know, when you take the test, they, like, check things as you drive. He asked me to put that. I call shenanigans on this already. Is this one of these comedy driving schools?

Are they going to be telling jokes while they do it? He was so serious, he called his insurance to see if he could have an extra person in the car for filming. Oh, nice. Well, nerd. He's a total nerd. If you're listening, thank you. So then on Thursday, if you've been waiting for the conclusion of this driving test, there

was a big cheating scandal at the DMV. We wanted to see if any of us could pass the test. We didn't do great, but I'll tell you who did the worst was Jake and Allie. They got more questions wrong. I got that one right about pulling over. You guys had a lot of questions wrong. We both said pull over. A fog light question.

Allie, fog lights and low beams are not the same thing. Not all cars have fog lights, but they all have low beams. I mean, there's a lot of people calling. You're supposed to put on the fog lights when it's foggy. That's actually wrong. No, it's not. Here's what we have for you on Thursday after the show. You and Jake will be doing the driving test.

The loser of that is going to get crushed when they sit at the DMV. It's now time for your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Here's the next crop of artists canceling shows due to blue dot fever. Over the past couple of years, concerts have become unaffordable. The market is super oversaturated, so artists aren't able to sell tickets like they used to, which means there's a bunch of open blue dots on every seat map.

David Lee Roth has canceled the majority of his summer tour. Kacey Musgraves has canceled some of her shows, which had people very upset. Roxette has canceled their entire North American tour. They're the ones who sing Must Have Been Love. Wow. Ryan Adams has canceled his tour. He said it's because he's, quote, broke and sick, whatever that means. The silver lining, though, is Sammy Hagar has invited David Lee Roth to join on his tour.

So I wonder if that's going to start happening more. is, hey, you know, one band or one artist can't hold their own anymore, so we're just going to do, like, a super group. I think probably what's happening is that all these artists probably charge a little bit more than they should, and now they're feeling all that blue dots. Because, listen, all these artists that you just listed, except for probably Kacey Musgraves, are $20 a ticket people.

And they're probably trying to get, what, $100 a ticket? Probably more. Most of the bands you're mentioning are bands I would expect to be playing a fair somewhere. They're fair bands. 100%. And you go like, oh, yeah. David Lee Roth? I'm at the fair.

Yeah, at this point in his career, yes. If the pig race ends on time, I'll head over and see what's going on with David Lee Roth. And if not, I'll continue watching the pig race. There are definitely artists where you're like, oh. But you're not like, oh, my God, I've got to get tickets to them. But it's also unfortunate because people are saving money for the, quote, A-listers or the big blockbuster artists that are doing these crazy tours. So then people like poor David Lee Roth or Roxette. They don't have money left over for that.

Yeah, I'd be upset if a big festival was announced and I said, oh, I spent all my fun money on a rock set. Yeah, and it's like, do you want to spend money on a bunch of little shows or do you want to spend money on one big epic show at the Sphere or something? And I think that artists, you know, listen, it must be tough if you had a career where you were selling out massive, you're selling out 500,000 seats over the course of a few weekends, like, you know, going to a stadium. And now you're at the thing where you're at the fair. I think hitting the fair circuit, I think, is kind of like an insult to artists. But it's cool if you're at the fair. You're like, gosh, there's Sugar Ray at the fair. That's cool.

Sugar Ray's everywhere. He's got no ego. He'll be anywhere. He's having a good time no matter where he goes. Big shows, little shows, that's where you've got to be. A major earthquake in Japan has a bunch of people currently trapped inside of a mall. Obviously, mall culture has changed a lot over the years. But if you make a decision to go there, you should be able to get out.

Women be shopping right now. Right? Crews are currently trying to rescue them. The earthquake happened this morning, but it was 4.30 p.m. in Japan, and it struck in Kumamoto. It was, some reports say 7.1, others say 6.8, but it started some fires. It damaged some roads. But the biggest problem is this mall. The second floor collapsed in the mall, and everyone knows the good stuff's on the second floor.

But they said a couple people were injured. They haven't reported any deaths or anything yet, but the awning, like, flew across the parking structure, and they have people there that are trying to find, like, a safe way to get them all out. Well, the good news is that historically when there's been some of these seven, six, high sixes, sevens in Japan, that they have not really had a lot of casualties, which is remarkable because look at the footage of the building shake, and you go, they have built these things properly as opposed to some of these other countries. That won't happen here.

Right, no. Dude, when the big one hits, we're going down. Yeah. The foundation, I mean, the pipes are bursting left and right just with no earthquake. I know. Can you imagine when the earthquake hits? The plumbing itself will never survive. Done, son.

So I call shenanigans on this because this has happened a few years in a row now, but they have announced the most popular burger in California. This list, is this a USA Today poll? Their signature burger. The best in fast food. Let me guess, on The Habit? And yes, according to USA Today's 10 best poll, once again, The Habit's Double Char Burger is number one

followed by the Double Double at In-N-Out Burger. Number three was Freddy's Original Double at Freddy's Frozen Custard and Steak Burgers. Oh, I heard those are just mid. Followed by A&W Restaurants, Culver's, Shake Shack, Five Guys, Burger King, Wendy's, and Whataburger. I mean, this list is the most garbage list. I would love to actually do a real poll

because this is obviously some kind of a sponsored gig where they are paying money to become number one. Because nobody, like, you've met so many people that are passionate about In-N-Out. Where are the passionate habit people? I've not met one. Because they're not passionate. Is there anyone going, while you're in California, bucket list, you've got to go to the habit. My wife goes to the habit probably once a month, but she goes for the salads.

I guess they have amazing salads. That's already your indication that your burger's not a top burger when someone's going for the salads. You know what I've never gone to In-N-Out for? The salads. Because there are no salads. Because they know they can do a burger great. Yeah, this is one of those things. I think when we put up our billboard to combat their billboard they had put up a few years ago to defend our loyalty to In-N-Out,

it was very evident that what had happened was they had paid a bunch of money for advertising in USA Today. And then part of the, quote, advertising they paid for was, oh, we'll put you on the top of a list. And In-N-Out wouldn't be like, I'm going to pay to be at the top of the list. They don't need to do crap like that. Jay could stop ten random people in the street later and be like, what's the best burger? And, you know, some people are not going to go in and out because they're not going to give it to a chain. They're going to give it to, like, a local, like a mom and pop. Well, this is burger chain.

It'd be fun to see how long it would take me to find someone to say the habit. I could be out there for days. Even a person who's passionate about the habit. Yeah, you would die out there. I'd go to a habit. Yeah, yeah. Are you passionate about the burger you're eating right now? We get into a brand new hour of the show right now.

Perhaps it's the greatest hour of your life. Only one way to find out. Here we go. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning. Welcome to your K-Rock. It is Tuesday. It is just after 8 o'clock. We are Klein Alley Show. If you're just joining us for the very first time,

you're going to make up your mind over the next few minutes or hours as to whether or not we are the show for you, and that's okay. You probably will decide at first, eh, I'm not sure. Mid at best. And then eventually, it's that Stockholm Syndrome. It sets in. And then hopefully you're coming back for more, or you're just using us to get tickets to shows.

It's all part of K-Rock's summer ticket blowout. some of the biggest and best bands like Foo Fighters and many others we have tickets to give you and that will all start in less than an hour this is the hour though I believe that Vanessa has received the sealed envelope in the back office from a listening couple that is

currently pregnant with child and would like us to do their on-air gender reveal, they've had this sealed envelope haven't opened it up, they don't know if they're having a boy or a girl and maybe it doesn't matter regardless, but we will be opening that envelope and we're coming up with a fun way to reveal that at some point this hour

So if that couple is... What are their names, Vanessa? Kimberly and Armando. All right, Kimberly and Armando. It's a good hour for you to be locked in and listening because we will reveal the gender of your child at some point this hour on the show. Which means that you really couldn't think of any better ideas.

No, no, I get it. That's fine. Sorry about that. Well, we will... Listen, you don't know. The idea that so many people in Southern California will be forced to hear... Forced to hear if they'll be having a boy or a girl.

Forced to care. We'll get to that coming up later this hour on the show. and much more if you need us, 800-520-1067 to call and to text. And of course, if you're new to the show, my name's Klein. There's Ali. That is Jake the Nerd over there.

DJ Omar Khan. He's the audio sniper in the back taking the calls. Postmaster Johnny, producer Vanessa. And I love the interaction, which is part of the reason we are here at 800-520-1067. We've got much to get to coming up later this hour after Kings of Leon on KROQ.

KROQ, we are Klein and Ali's show. If you want to interact with the show, the number is 800-520-1067. You can call, you can text, you can just sit back and listen passively. Either way, you'll have chances to win stuff like Wild Rivers tickets plus Cabana or tickets as part of KROQ's big summer ticket blowout. We'll get into some clickbait in a moment, and then I'm not excited about this, Allie, but the return of a game that we've only done one other time in the history of this radio station. And people seemed to enjoy it, but it was mostly so they could mock us and our relationships.

But the return of who's the most whipped on the show. Yes, most of us who have significant others have been accused of being whipped and going overboard for our partners. And some people say that this is unacceptable behavior. Others say it's romantic. Some people say this is not how relationships should be in the year 2026. But now that Johnny is in a serious, committed relationship, lives with his girlfriend, Ali married, I'm married, Omar married, Jake is not. He's very single, and he refuses to be whipped, which is probably part of the reason that he will forever be single. But Jake's got all of the stories that we've shared with him, things that have happened to all of us.

And he'll be reading them, and all you have to do is figure out which one of us did this thing and who's the most whipped. Give us an example of one of the stories that was sent to you, Jake, from either Ali, Omar, Johnny, or myself. This person takes the long way on road trips because their wife thinks the five is yucky. okay so someone on the show takes the long way on road trips because their significant other thinks the five is quote yucky think about that for a second the amount of time being added how can a freeway be yucky by the way uh well they are the five is the five is yucky all freeways are yucky yeah i mean what's so different about the five and the ten the ten sucks. The 101 portions of it

suck. Portions of all of them can suck, but the 5 is consistently yucky. And this isn't even my... I'm going to tell you right now... Too many trucks, yucky. This is not even my thing. And so you would think, but I am a defender. I agree with that wholeheartedly. Hey, Michael, you're on KROQ. Good morning.

Hey, good morning. What can we do for you? I just want to let you guys know I work in an Audi dealership, and every time I sell a new car, I always set the radio station to your guys' station, so the buyers are forced to listen to you guys. God damn, you are a hero. And at the beginning, you don't listen to

any of the tutorial stuff. You don't know how to change anything. You figure that out months down the line. Thank you for doing what you do. So you sell cars or you're in the service part of it? I sell the cars. So you sell, so you've made a sale, you've got a nice commish coming your way, and then the one last thing you do is you go in and you

set the station to 1067 so they're forced to listen to us when they drive off? Yeah, so I'll bring the car back from the wash, and then when it's on, I gotta make sure it's on to your radio station every time. These are new cars? They still have radios in them? Surprisingly, yeah. Huh.

That's not all. Omar Exne on the No Radio Race. He's doing a good thing. Guy's a hero, alright? Give it up to this man. Hero. Hey, uh, thank you for doing that. That means a lot, and eventually, you know, of the thousands of times you've done that, maybe one person sticks around and goes, huh, that's the show for me.

Or they're too lazy to change it. Regardless, we'd love to send you some limited edition Klein Alley Show merch. You want a hat or a shirt that says you've never been intimate with Jake? Well, I'll take a hat. All right. Hold on one sec. Get that guy a sweet Divot's hat. It's the very least we can do. Leave it in the car. Thank you, Michael. I appreciate that. That's a good man right

there. Fighting the good fight. He's doing his little part, listens to the show, wants to spread the word, helping us to hashtag grow the show. I remember the last time I, when I got my car leased, they like showed me the inside and they were telling me how it works and they were like, and then I know you don't really care. Nobody listens to this, but the radio's over here. No, they didn't say that.

They didn't say that. I do care. They never said that. God damn it. I'm on it. We're very successful. It's a very successful medium. It's going nowhere. They've been around since the 1200s.

That's what the person was like. You probably don't care about this, but this is where it is. Time to tackle some of the Internet's biggest riddles and mysteries. Internet designed for two reasons and two reasons only. Clickbait and masturbate. We can only do one of them on the radio. It's time for Clickbait. Here we go.

Bye. All right. Start with this one, Alex. Okay. i think this is going to be the answer that most people are going to want to know so let's not go ahead and click bait you let's just get right to it this is the exact number of minutes of lost sleep that will lead to weight gain so here we go you're trying to figure out in your brain you know we're supposed to get eight hours what do they say seven seven eight hours is the sweet spot

this is per night this is well this is the number that you are once you start going if you don't get a certain amount of sleep that's when they go it's going to start showing up as weight gain because you need to burn fat while you sleep which is the greatest way to burn fat if you can do it right yeah well sleeping is the easiest way way easier than getting on that treadmill and falling off like you so this is the number this is the number of minutes that if you are losing this many minutes of sleep it will result in you gaining weight what is the number again i just Is this just an overall deficit, or is this a nightly? This is on a nightly basis.

Nightly basis. Okay, I'm going to guess. There's the average you're supposed to get, and then if you go a little over, a little under, I think it's bad to go either. I don't think you're supposed to go on either side of that number. No, because if you sleep too much, I think it works against you. Right. I'm going to go with 100 minutes. 100 minutes.

If you lose 100 minutes of sleep a night, you're getting fat. That's what Allie says. That's a quote. Omar, what say you? sleep is important I'm going to say if you lose an hour sleep is important

but you don't get a lot of it Omar averages about two hours a night I don't and unfortunately like last night I was up like once an hour

it sucked luckily for me last night was one of those nights I was able to go to sleep but I was up like at 2am 3am 3.30

4 it sucked you're like a newborn how fat are you right now terrible very fat Omar's 550 pounds he gained so much weight

he gained a pound every wake up every time he wakes up He goes right to the fridge. So you think the number's what? One hour. One hour, 60 minutes. If you are one hour under what you should be, that is instant weight gain.

Jake? 38 minutes. 38 minutes. Science has found that losing just 80 minutes of sleep a night, which is somewhere between what Ali and Omar said, 80, that's the number, that will cause someone to gain weight. Sleeping seven to eight hours a night will keep the weight the same. That is terrible. So if you're going six or five, you know, usually I get five, five and a half hours. That's where you start going into weight gain territory.

That's where my neck's going. It's all going to your neck, yeah. Every time my neck comes in here fatter, it's because I probably lost another 20 minutes of sleep. Well, you need to go to bed earlier. But how did this study get conducted? That's a great question. Just have a bunch of people sleep and then. Yeah, 100 people.

They looked at 100. They put them to sleep. 100 people. Six months trial. And that's how they figured out the number. 100 people sleeping six months and they woke different people up at different times. Well, they also have to track their, like, food and stuff. Like, how do you know that it's just because of the sleep?

Well, maybe they put them all on the same diet, too. Whoa. Did, like, a real one of those double-blind tests. Man, I hope they got paid. How annoying is it at the end of that whole survey if you're one of the people that got woken up constantly and you're fat? Fat boy. Okay, time to get up.

And the other people... You wanted to take part in this study. You got to sleep great. You wanted the free pizza. And they're all skinny at the end of the whole thing because they actually got their sleep in. That's terrible. Yeah, you don't know which way it's going to go for you. It's like when you do a pill study and then you get a placebo.

Like, what a waste. We get back from this quick break. There's your clickbait. We come back in a moment. When we return, we will find out who on the show is the most whipped and which one of us has a significant other that thinks the five is yucky so they drive the long way on road trips. I mean, that is some real whipped ass, almost just cursed.

That is real whipped right there. And listen, I know that the stories that I've shared are equally damning. So we'll come back in a moment. If you'd like to play the game with us, give us a call now, 800-520-1067. Who is the most whipped next on KROQ? It's time to find out who on the show is the most whipped. If you're in a relationship, it's nice to keep your own identity for a while. And then eventually, potentially, you do a thing or two that proves to the world that you are absolutely whipped.

And hopefully, it's only a few things. In this particular case, we've all written down a few examples of things we've done that would probably put us in the category of most whipped, and you will help determine when Jake reads these out loud who they apply to. Is it something Allie's doing in her lesbian marriage, something I'm doing in my marriage? Perhaps Omar.

He's with his high school sweetheart. They've been together since high school. I think Omar's probably the least whipped out of all of us. I would think so, but I feel like he's got more history to pull from, so if he's pulling something from 10 years ago, it would be... And then you've got Johnny,

who's in that sweet spot in the relationship where they just moved in together Like, less than a month ago. So the love is all fresh and everything, but maybe that's when you're putting your best foot forward or being the most whipped to accommodate the other person's needs. Or there's little things like, hey, you know, you're not the best sharer. Now I don't want to share food with you. By the way, here's my favorite restaurant. Like, there's just kind of things that spiral from there, and then you compromise a little bit here and a little bit there.

And then before you know it, years go by, and you're totally whipped. And I'll say, looking at this list, I think there's a clear winner. Well, according to the text line, I've already won. We haven't even gotten to any of mine yet, but it's definitely going to be Klein's 818. Didn't he tell us that he took his socks off at the movies to keep his wife's feet warm one time? I mean, the answer is, yeah, that is true. That was the last time we did this. Who's the most ripped?

She said her feet were cold. Weren't you eating at a restaurant, and she wanted, like, a certain ingredient that the restaurant did not have, and you went to the restaurant. Yeah, and you got that certain ingredient. That is unbelievable. Yeah, so what? What was it? The fact that you teased Jake for going all around searching for butter.

But that was for himself. That was Jake being selfish. That was right next door. That was Jake being selfish. And I tried to do it myself. That was Jake being annoying and selfish. And mine was selfless because it was for someone else. Time for Who's the Most Whipped?

I'm K-Rock. The answers are either going to be Ali, Klein, Omar, or Johnny. And Jake will read you the first scenario, the first contestant to play the game. who's the most whipped is Jess from Anaheim. Hi, Jess. Welcome to KROQ. Good morning. Hi, guys. Sweet divots. Sweet divots. Listen closely now.

Jake, whenever you're ready, read us the first one from the who's the most whipped options. Alright, this person rented snorkel gear to look for a bracelet that their partner lost in a pool. Okay, that's Klein. I think that's Klein. Why are you so confident that's Klein?

You can't find it in a pool. It could be anyone. Why didn't he snorkel gear? That's so tough. It's a pool, man. I can't see. It's blurry. It hurts my eyes.

Chlorine. So you're saying Klein? Yes, it's Klein. Okay, yeah. That's me, yes. Wow. All right, now let me just defend myself for a moment. Please do for several reasons.

And by the way, the stupid bracelet turned up on the nightstand. It was nowhere near the pool. Oh, so you were that guy, the adult man in a pool with a snorkel? Yeah, because I did. And when they say, are you a perv? You go, no, I'm just looking for my wife's bracelet. Well, first of all, it was a saltwater pool, which burns your eyes in a way. I didn't realize that.

I was going down there for a while without the snorkel stuff. And then I said, do you guys have anything? And they go, you can rent snorkel gear, but usually people use that on the beach. And I said, I'm going to use it. And I went around this stupid pool for an hour looking for this bracelet. an hour looking for a bracelet. When you just do a pass for 10 minutes? Went in the filter and everything. She was

freaking out about it. And I thought it was like a really expensive, it wasn't even that expensive of a bracelet. I was like, well, how much does this thing cost? It was not even like, it was a couple hundred dollars. It wasn't like a thousand dollar plus bracelet. Did she say honey, stop looking at any point? No, keep looking. Was she just on her lounge chair reading? Yeah. She was, yeah. I go, you know,

you can go in there and look for your bracelet. No, because it's not my hair washing day. So I was in there. Well, that is a strict policy. And then, thank you. Okay. Keep looking! So, of course, the thing turned up later on the nightstand. Did she apologize?

Not really. It was... It was like, oh, good. She goes, I guess, well, that's why you didn't find it. I go, that's why I didn't find it? Yes, because it wasn't in the pool at all. You were just the creep in the pool with a snorkel for an hour. All right, so anyway, one point Klein in the who's the most wet.

But don't worry, the game continues. And hold on one second. You got yours right. Write down everyone who gets theirs right. Jess is on a good streak right now. We say hi to Christina. Good morning. Welcome to Who's the Most Whipped on KROQ.

Hi. Good morning. All right. Next one, Jake. All right. This person goes to another room to eat snacks because the sound of chewing bothers their partner. Oh, my God. This person cannot eat snacks in the same room as their partner because the sound of them chewing bothers their partner.

Is that Johnny in a new relationship? They just moved in together? Allie? A couple of lesbians? Omar. Munch, munch, munchin'. Or myself. I'm going down on you, honey.

I know, but the sound is bothering me. I don't like it. Do that from another room. Christina, who do you think that belongs to? That sounds like an alley issue. Why is that so offensive? That is funny. It does sound like an alley issue.

That's what I know. It is. That is me. That's you? Yeah. Wow. Well, because Katie claims that she has one of those things where you're, like, enraged by, yes, where you're, like, you can't tolerate slurping sounds, chewing sounds, scraping sounds. This is also the same reason I've never sharpened our knives.

To be fair, Allie, I've heard you chew a lot of times. You do chew very loud. Yeah, I am a loud chewer, and I'll accept that. But I think that it tastes better when you chew. If you're sitting there having a meal together, you'll have to take your meal into another room and eat it? It's dinner, but snacks usually, because snacks are the crunchiest. So you're both in the kitchen, like a normal place to eat a snack? And we'll be having a conversation, and then she's like, I can't listen to you.

You need to go into another room. You're going to eat. And you'll, and it only gets one whip, that one? The bracelet got three whips? That only got one whip? Come on. Well, I, oftentimes, I will just take my snacks into another room, because I don't want to deal with her complaining about it.

And that's the other thing, is, yes, I could say, no, I'll stand, put my foot down, but I'm like, I don't want to deal with you whining. So I'm just going to go in the other room. All right. Well, once again, another successful guest. Christina, good job. Everyone's gotten them right so far. Move on.

Jake is single. That man's not whipped at all. He doesn't accommodate anyone. Life has already whipped him. Right. So we go to the next one now. It could be Allie. It could be me.

It could be Omar. It could be Johnny. All right. This person signed up for a half marathon because their partner wanted them to. then found out that their partner has no intention of running or training and they've been training for two weeks. Oh, man.

This is a tough one. That is a tough one. All right, let's say hi to Isaac. Isaac, who does that belong to? Is that Johnny Omar, Allie, or Klein? That's Johnny. Hmm. That's Johnny.

I will tell you... I think it's Omar, though, because his wife, I think, sometimes doesn't follow through on things, at least from the history he's kind of shared with us. Yeah, it's funny. We should do a half marathon together. This was like the time my wife took the ambience

and one of us has to stay up and keep watching. I just took an ambience and it was me. All right. Yeah, I think it's not me. So Omar's a good guess. Oh, he said Johnny. Who is that? Who's a significant other? This is Omar. Omar. Yeah, man. What happened,

dude? You know, so my wife's sister-in-law, she's trying to get into shape. So she talked my wife into doing And then my wife's like, hey, it'd be fun for us to do this. So I automatically assumed that we're all going to get, you know, running gear and actually train to run this thing. I mean, it's only 3.1 miles. I was like, okay, yeah, let's do this. Oh, it's a 5K, not a half marathon?

Oh, did I write a half marathon? Sorry. No, it's a 5K. Oh, that's not very much. Even more easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? Right, right. So I've been training and I've been trying to, you know, work on my time. And I come to find out this last week

And nobody has any intention That signed up for it To train or run And my kids are doing it So I got to keep up with them So I'm the designated guy who has to run with the kids And the kids are going to be unfazed by this entire thing Yeah, that's just like a regular day for them

And you said to your wife You're not going to run this as well And she said, oh God, no No, she says that, well, I might run a little bit I was like, okay, what? Are you kidding me? I'm going to do a run walk Which means 99% walking

Yeah, that's four whips. Someone got four whips for that. All right, moving on. Who's the most whipped on K-Rock? These are all, sadly, real stories from our relationships. All right, ready? Yep. This person made dinner, but then ordered food for their wife because they weren't into it.

So they made a dinner, and then the wife wasn't into the dinner they made, so then they ordered additional food just... All right, we say hi now to Matt in Garden Grove. But Matt, who does that belong to? That sounds like Allie. Why does that sound like me? I don't understand. That definitely sounds like Allie.

Why does it sound like me? Eat that crappy dinner you made in the other room, by the way. Well, I ate this food you ordered me. That's got Allie written all over it. But, you know, who is it? Is that you? Yes, but I can explain. Oh, my God, Allie.

You are the most whipped. no i made a dinner and i had made a salmon or something like that and i can't remember what it was exactly but when i was making it katie came into the kitchen she was like what are you making and i explained and she was like and i was like well this is what we're having for dinner and she was like i really had a craving for ramen and i'm like okay then i don't know what to tell you this is what i'm making for dinner and she was like well then i guess i'll just order for delivery and i was like well fine but because it's under my account i had to order it i've known the five dollar a month discount i mean i listen i if i don't win this i mean

she ate it eventually yeah eventually uh all right we have time for two more and then we have to wrap it up because we have to do this live on her gender reveal for a couple that's anxiously in their car waiting for the results uh go ahead uh one more uh jake give us the next one uh this This person drove to downtown L.A. during rush hour because her wife was craving soft-serve matcha. Easy. I mean, come on. Hey, Brian, welcome to KROQ. Who's the most quick?

You got a guess? You got a guess on this one? I'm going to guess Allie. What? Why are we guessing me? That bitch will do anything I'm going to blame I'm going to blame

a pregnancy craving Okay Maybe Why would I do that for my wife if I'm the one who's pregnant? You blame it on her

but you really want to She has a pregnancy craving? Alright well Let's not drag this out anymore It's you It's me Alright so

You drove all the way through rush hour traffic in downtown LA Yeah because there's only one place that has this stupid matcha soft serve and it was,

yeah, I didn't, I shouldn't have done it. It was a two-hour round trip. Did you offer or did she ask you? Um, she,

I had offered at one point not during rush hour and she didn't take me up on it and then she told me what she was really feeling like and I, you know, look,

I thought about it. Do I go home and get hit with a bunch of stuff to do there or do I sit in traffic for two hours where I at least get time to myself?

That's sad. Yeah. And then I went. Wouldn't it have melted like on the way back? Yeah, Yeah, I know, right? It's just a soup.

Yeah, the way back. Go back! It was not. I had to keep going back. This is melted! Yeah, that was me right there. You're not going to the ball. That was me.

All right, last one, Jake. Clearly, read one more. And we never found out who thinks. Oh, yeah, we're going to do this one last. Yeah, yeah. Give us the final one. This person takes the long way on road trips because their partner thinks the five is yucky.

All right. Let's go ahead and say, I want to play this internally quickly. Everyone who's gotten theirs right is on the phone right now So congratulations to all of you We'll pick one of your names at random and give you a prize But this one, I'll say happily, is not me But I bet you if my wife heard this

She would say I'm with that plan as well I don't like the five The five has always been bad to me, always Is that Johnny? We haven't heard one from Johnny yet I'm going to say that's Johnny, I hope It's probably Allie though Why is it probably me? Because I feel like you're the most

You're the most you will bend the furthest without breaking. You will bend the furthest. You just drove across downtown L.A. for matcha soft serve. Who is it?

It is Allie. Yeah. God damn it. Oh, man. What's wrong with you? You are so weird. Okay. So you think Allie's the most weird?

Read me Johnny's now. Now the game's over. Read me some of Johnny's ones, Jerry. Johnny's girlfriend expects him to open the door when she knows he can hear when her keys hit the door lock.

I'd be chilling in the living room like on the floor playing my bass and then like if her keys start jangling in the doorknob she expects me to get up and like open the door for her.

Right. That's pretty funny. That's nice. Do you do that though? I know she could expect it but do you do it? I do it because sometimes I hear her

coming up the stairs so I'll like run over to the door and like open it and be like what's up? It's like a dog. Yeah, John's like a puppy so he's all excited every time.

She's like I just went down to the car for a second. He also barks for three minutes whenever he gets home. Give me another one of Johnny's. His girlfriend expects him to wash her pans by hand because they're very expensive instead of using the dishwasher. Well, that, yeah. We don't have a dishwasher.

Like, I have to wash them with towels. I can't use the brush. I expect you to wash them by hand because that's the only option. Right. No, she expects me to use, like, a towel, like, not use this, like, brush we have. Oh, I see. Jess, Matt, and Christina, Ali, which one of them is winning a prize from K-Rock? They were all able to successfully predict who's the most whipped on the show.

Let's go with Christina. Hey, Christina, congratulations. Riverside, hold on one second so we can get you something. Thank you for playing the game with us, and a lot of people are now judging our relationships, and I get it. We're running marathons and driving to downtown L.A. during rush hour, all because we try to avoid fights, I think, right? Isn't that what it is? And because the five is yucky. And the five's yucky. And we love the person we're with. That's right. A live on-air gender reveal will be next.

Thank you for making this a part of your life. Those minor moments that happen on a daily basis while you sit in traffic on the Yucky Five. Or perhaps those moments that happen that are significant because they matter to you and your partner. And listen, we've been a part of some good stuff and some bad stuff. And we thank you for everyone who's reached out over the years and said, man, I was going through a rough patch. For whatever happened, you guys made me smile or laugh a little bit. That's not really why we're here. We do it for the paycheck.

That's also not why we're here. For the bags of money that they drop at our feet. We do it for the sacks of endless cash that are in this business. No, we do it because it's all about the connecting with you, and we appreciate it. When you include us in your lives, your big moments, it means a lot to us. So, when we got this message on the GOAT line. We did, y'all. So, I'm calling because my husband and I have been fans of the show since you literally first heard it.

And we just got the gender of our baby in an envelope and wanted to know if Klein and Allie, you guys are down, to read us our results. Let me know. I'm so excited. Bye. So we said sure, and they dropped off a sealed envelope this morning to the K-Rock Studios. I believe Vanessa is going to enter with the sealed envelope, which we have not yet opened. And we've only done one on-air gender reveal ever before, and it was Allie's, and we kind of ruined that. And that was involved with car wash, and oh, she's handing the sealed envelope to Allie right now. And listen, we've realized that there's so many great songs on K-Rock that could help us with this gender reveal.

Songs that I think would make it quite clear. For instance, if Allie were to open the envelope and then we were to play this. Hopefully you're able to figure out what it is that you're going to be having. But we could also play this. And that means you're having a white baby. And if you're not white, then that could be a problem. Race reveals have not caught on yet. Yeah, we have not.

I don't know why we're not doing a race reveal. Omar, get the hip-hop queued up in case we need it. So we have a lot of options of songs that we could be playing that would help us go ahead and reveal the gender of the baby. The name of this couple is... Well, the mom's name is Kimberly, the dad is Armando, and apparently Kimberly's first baby, she was also pregnant when I was pregnant. Oh, this is a second baby gender reveal?

Mm-hmm. Oh, who cares? Well, all right. You're talking to me, right? Oh, sorry, Ali. Let's just go to break. Okay, here we go. This is exciting.

Allie's got the envelope now. She's the first person that's going to see it. And then we are going to play a song on K-Rock. I just want to point out that this is a dentist. It's from a dental office? It's a dental group. Wow. I didn't know they did that.

What the hell? That's interesting. That's a good hack. That sounds like a weird way to check. That's a great hack. You are having a cavity. Is this Klein's dentist? Is it my dentist?

He does a lot of stuff. Okay. Pass it over so I can play the right song. I can't even reveal what's inside because it kind of shows it. Oh, it does? Mm-hmm. Hold on one second. All right, this is exciting.

This couple is currently sitting in the car, listening to K-Rock, waiting for the results. Am I missing something? Is that supposed to be clear based on what's inside? Yes. Oh, it is? Do you want to open it up and look? I'm going to play a song on K-Rock. There you go.

And I think this song will help determine what it is that you're having. So, I hope, once again, if this is the correct answer, Allie, if not, stop me immediately, because I don't want them to get too excited or call their relatives and then realize we screwed this up on the radio. But I think that this is the answer. You feel confident with what you saw? I mean, I just took a peek.

I thought you were going to take it out all the way to make sure. No, because then we'd give it away. Exactly. You can't give it away. The paper is colored, color-coded. Ew. Yeah. Didn't know they did that.

Fun. Yes. So to the couple that is expecting their second child, we give you your gender right now on KROQ, and congratulations. Girls, girls. Congratulations. You're having a beastie boy.

That's wrong. Someone said I am confused. I am confused now. I didn't realize that would be as confusing as it was. It's a girl. It's a girl. Congratulations. Thanks for letting us be a part of that.

We'll take a quick break. We're back with your news. And in less than 12 minutes, we get you some tickets for KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout. So someone's having a girl. You're getting tickets. Everybody wins. And we'll be back with more show after this on KROQ. KROQ, we are Kline Alley Show.

We'll do ADD News. And then the fun can officially begin with your KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout. We got that coming up. So get ready for all them tickets for all the summer shows that you want to go see. And we cover them for you, so you just have to call and win them at 800-520-1067. That's coming up in a moment. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

I don't know why it's so satisfying to see celebrities get DUIs, but I guess there's a part that just makes them more real, that they can't get away with everything just because they're famous. And one of the most hated sports broadcasters of all time was arrested for driving while intoxicated over the weekend. Now there's an update to how this is all going to pan out. Tony Romo was pulled over right after he had completed a round at the Wisconsin Amateur Championship Golf Tournament. And he was then booked and arrested for, quote, operating while intoxicated.

So it's an OWI, which I get confused about the DUI, DWI, and now there's an OWI. Why can't we just have one for everything? Was he having a car, a golf cart, or a tractor or something? It says he was on the freeway, so I would imagine he was in a car. That'd be hilarious if it was a cart. It must have been really hammered if he tried to drive a golf cart home. On the freeway? Yeah, that's the indication, I guess.

It was his first offense, but they said after performing poorly on standardized field sobriety tests, he was arrested. And he did refuse to take that intoxication test after he got arrested. So it's not like he was fully cooperating, but I know they say not to say no to those anyway. He's also withdrawn from another scheduled appearance at the Group Texas State Open. And CBS has announced that they will not terminate his $18 million a year contract, but that he may, quote, take a step back, which I would love. They should, because I know that when he started doing it, everyone thought he was the greatest thing to happen to broadcasting because he had this interesting take on the plays. And he was all like his theories of what's going to happen. Insufferable.

I like when I get so bad. It's so bad because they don't even explain what's going on in the game. Yeah, it just makes a lot of noises. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, he's going to do this next. Oh, no, he didn't. Jim Nantz got to carry his dead weight. Listen, it's a good out for them if they wanted to get out.

That's why I can do what he does. He goes, oh. Half my gay sports clips are him. I know. He said, without Tony Romo, you're not getting half of the gay football highlights. I know. He's going to take a step back. It's going to be rough for me.

Who do you hate more, Tony Romo or Joe Buck? You know, I think upon listening, Tony Romo annoys me more because he talks more. Joe Buck is just like, and pass, caught. And you're like, okay. Joe Buck has a pompousness to him, which is frustrating. And I think that people liked Romo at first because he felt kind of like the every man that was telling you about what was going on. But now he's just such a know-it-all. Yeah, I don't like him.

I'm old school. I like Al Michaels. Yeah. I like those guys. Even Chris Collinsworth. I'll stomach him. I want the people to sound like it's like you have to explain every moment of it to me like I'm not watching, you know? Like I want you to explain what I'm watching and make it more exciting for me.

That's a good announcer. Yeah, I used to dislike Joe Buck for a long time. It was very trendy to dislike Joe Buck. This is, by the way, right after Kyle Shanahan got in a horrible car accident and almost lost his eyes. So it's been a bad driving week for the NFL. We as humans are not built to multitask, but we do it every single day. but the stereotype has always been that women are much better at multitasking than men are. But according to a new study, they have debunked that stereotype.

And, Klein, you can listen to this while you scroll on your phone and do your push-ups. New research finding that apparently men do not multitask worse than women. Shocking. We stopped talking, which explains a lot. Let me men-splain. I mean, explain. Ladies, you think that he's ignoring you while he's backing into that parking spot, right? Right.

Meanwhile, in his head, he's thinking, if I answer this question right now, I'm going to drive clean over this mailbox right now. So maybe the stereotype isn't that women are better multitaskers. Maybe women just refuse to hit more mailboxes. Men, we sacrifice the conversation to finish the mission. I think guys are fully happy to stop talking whenever there's some other task involved. It's like, oh, cool. Now I don't have to talk anymore. And the woman is like, why have you stopped talking? This is a constant thing, and she will say to me, can't you do two things at once?

I can do two things at once, and it's not about that. It's I'm focused on the task at hand, so I can't have any of this meaningless, meandering conversation. Whereas women, a lot of times, at least the one that I live with, likes to verbally say every possible thought and every possible scenario that could happen. Yeah, I need to share every single thought I have. Has to get it out. Has to get it all out. Yeah, and I think that you also, I think with our job, too, there's a lot of selective listening that can happen. Like, you are able to tune out other things to focus on one thing.

So that's just a skill that you've developed. Here's a pop-up nobody cares about. This is proof that pop-up culture has gotten way out of control. A Candyland Cafe is opening up in San Diego, transforming a local restaurant into a whimsical, life-sized version of what I believe to be the most boring game in creation. It will include lollipop woods tunnel, giant jolly gumdrops, and a winding path leading to King Candy's Candy Castle. and they want to let you know that even though this is built like a playground, you will be banned from climbing, sitting, or leaning against any of the installations and they are supposed to be photographed only.

And anyone seen violating those rules will potentially have to pay for the damages and forfeit their entrance fee. And even when you book, it says Candyland Cafe is a restaurant, not a playground. Well, they're going to be disappointed with who shows up there. Yeah, because the only people who care about Candyland are kids. Right. Maybe some pedos, too. Yeah, that's true.

They will enjoy the candy light bars. But mostly kids. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now with tickets for you. This is the world famous K-Rod. We are blowing out tickets. It is summer still, and we've got tickets, tickets, and more tickets. And now those tickets can be yours. Call it 20 right now.

Let's see what we have in store for you. Because I know all week we're hooking you up with everything from Foo Fighters to Muse to Death Cab. We also have Avenged Sevenfold, Good Charlotte, Noah Khan. And right now we have some tickets for you to go see Noah Khan. So be ready to claim those tickets if you are the 20th caller, 800-520-1067. I know some people are calling. They just want to win. They don't care who they're going to go see.

But I prefer you call if you are a fan of Noah Kahn and want to go to that show. And then next hour, not to give too much away too soon, but in an hour from right now, I believe we have your Foo Fighters tickets to give you. So get ready for that coming up in less than an hour from right now. Lots to get to this hour on the show as soon as we give those tickets away. We have the very funny Ryan Hamilton stopping in to hang with us in the K-Rock Studios. You know, for him to return to Los Angeles is very brave because Los Angeles is a city that almost killed him. I mean, I believe it was. I think it's almost killed a lot of us.

Almost killed a lot of us. But he was at LAX, got hit by one of those buses, one of those shuttle buses at LAX. One of the shuttle buses I was waiting for for seven hours. He's the reason why, because he got taken down by it. And we'll hear your near-death stories as well. If you can try to one-up Ryan Hamilton while he's in with us, we will hook you up with some tickets as well. So you can go to Wild Rivers Waterpark in Irvine and beat the heat. So that's coming up this hour on the show and much more.

If you need us for the interaction, 800-520-1067 to call, to text. My name's Clyne. That's Allie. Hello. That is DJ Omar Khan right there. That is Jake the Nerd. What's up? You got the Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa in the back and on the phone right now representing the callers in the number 20 spot we have from Costa Mesa.

Is this Amanda? Yes. You are the 20th caller. That's awesome. So we got some tickets for you to be a part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout. You'll be going to see Noah Kahn. Congratulations. Oh, my God.

Thank you so much. You are very welcome. And thank you for starting your day with us here on KROQ. We have lots to get into this hour. And it all starts with some yellow card on KROQ. KROQ Line Alley Show. If you're driving around today or going to park somewhere and you realize that there's no spots, even though there are spots because people park like total asses, you're not alone.

It's why we have Park Week. It's an annual tradition around here where we shame the people that have forgotten how to park the car in the lines or they've decided that I'm going to make myself a double spot. I'm going to decide that I'm more important than other people. And there's a lot of different types of bad parkers. We've talked about the people that like to back it in every time, which usually creates... Oh, my God, the back-inners? There's so many different types, and all we're asking for you to do is document, tag us in the picture as a Klein Alley Show,

officially submit them because we do have a pretty good grand prize up for grabs this year for the winner of all of Park Week that gives us the most despicable parking job caught on display. You must send them to krock.com slash parkweek to get involved. I know a lot of people tagging us in pictures. We've been reposting them.

But that's the way to officially get involved. And of course, please do also tag us so we can repost as well. But up for grabs, if you do give us the greatest of the bad parking jobs, you will get to go to Petco Park not once but twice for Pierce the Veil

and again for Dia de los Deftones. And we will also send you to see Rise Against at Great Park Live. So lots of park opportunities for you if you help us bust the worst parker in L.A. I do. I believe that we are going to get a lot of submissions this year for Cybertrucks parking badly, specifically large Cybertrucks that are trying to fit into compact spots. I see that all the time where it's like this massive truck trying to fit into this tiny spot and nobody can get around. Yeah, I mean, we learned that in some ways we're set up for failure living here because there are certain rules that if you run a business, you have to be able – I think there's a rule.

You have to be able to supply at least a certain amount of spots. So what they've done so that they hit their quota is they've painted the lines a lot closer than they necessarily need to be. And there are plenty of specifically Trader Joe's parking lots where even if every car were to squeeze into the lines – We would still have to squeeze in and out of our cars. Right, there wouldn't be the ability to actually get in or out of your car. So I think that part of it is that they are done poorly, and then there's quite a few strip malls here. People abuse the compact parking spots. Right, and also the way that they, I told you about that mall, the strip mall I go to that's got like a 7-Eleven and a bunch of stores people want,

but for some reason that frame store has got nine spots reserved, and I've never seen one person in there ever. So I don't know what the hell happened, and I know some people claim that when you rent or lease a space, it comes with a certain amount of parking. Yeah, but you have to pay for those, don't you? And also, we're screwed, too, in this town because they like to force valet upon us so many different places. And the road signs are confusing, too, because you can park in a place that looks like it's legit. So I wonder if that's a reason why we park badly is because we're all disgruntled parkers. And that's part of it. I'm not going to defend it because, as you know, there are certain people.

Like, we reposted one yesterday, and it was a Rolls Royce that was parked in a red zone. and I think it was double annoying because I think it was a convertible rolls. Already it was like, I hate this. I don't know this person, but I already hate this person. And they were parked, I think it was a red zone and it was red. By a fire hydrant?

Fire hydrant. It was a perfect storm. And there are some times where you're like, I want to wait and see who this person is. Yeah. This person just didn't care at all. Obviously, either money was no problem, I'll get whatever ticket this is.

But to do red zone slash fire hydrant slash be a Rolls-Royce convertible. But everyone thinks they're the exception to the rule. Like, I'm just going to be in and out. And I have done that before, but never in that... You've done it for a handicap. Once again, you're making it sound worse than it was. I was temporarily handicapped

because I had a bathroom emergency. And there was multiple... I never would have taken the only one handicapped spot. There were multiple handicapped spots. And my option was either loading zone, leave it, or handicap, leave it. And I thought it would be less... Well, since it was poop-related,

I would have picked loading. Unloading. Where's the unloading zone? That's what we need. We're back in a moment. When we return, Ryan Hamilton joins us in the KROQ studios, and we will hear your stories of near-death experiences. This man was almost killed while leaving LAX.

Talk about bad parking. Someone almost parked on top of him. We'll come back with that in a moment and give you some tickets and water park access next on KROQ. 106.7 KROQ. We are a Klein Alley show in our studio right now from his brand-new Netflix special that we're going to listen to a clip from,

and then we will say hello to Ryan Hamilton. we have all these devices constantly broadcasting our location right so here's what dating has become in the modern world who's right here right now it's like we're hunting fugitives on the run or something you know set a 10 mile perimeter close all the roads she's got a five mile head start move it move it it's like who are you interested in everyone in a hundred yard radius basically i'm just not really into long distance relationships but what's your type just people near me just in the general area welcome to k rock ryan hamilton that is so true you are single right now so you have had the ups and downs with the dating apps correct yeah i haven't been on in

a while the dating apps but um you know yeah of course people do set the perimeter and they just go because i we have someone on our show right now that is in a few of them and it has become anyone who is i think he's even whittled it down within a few streets within a few streets Like it's gotten immediate people Convenience Anything over a mile away is too far But that's LA I guess that's nice in a way

But it's so crazy But I read that a lot of people now Are just choosing to meet in real life again Because dating apps have gotten so exhausting So I guess you're of that camp I just kind of spend a lot of time alone As my camp It's a solo camp

Party of one Yeah, I am trying to meet people in real life, I think. Yeah. Well, you have a crazy story, which we'll get into in a moment, because people want to call in and try to one-up you with times they almost died. But when you came to L.A., you lived here for only six weeks, but it was because you were in recovery because of a story that I thought, to be honest, I don't ever know with comedians.

Is this a made-up story or a real story? In your particular case, a very real story. Yeah. And it was basically you arriving at L.A. and immediately getting run over by a shuttle bus. Yeah, well, actually, I was in L.A. for like 10 days with COVID, is what happened oh fun yeah so i i ended i landed in lax i was one of my first gigs back at the end of covid uh from hawaii and i i got an alert on my phone said i'd been exposed to covid as i'm

walking through lax so i walked to the hotel i take a test it's positive so i was it was a 10 day thing at that time so i was in the hotel for 10 days my first day out was january 1 2022 walking to pick up a rental car and that i just came to an intersection hit the button watched the light turn started walking and i didn't see her here and it just felt the impact so you it was you saw a little walking symbol like it was your turn to walk yes yes and you just are walking to your destination to the rental car shuttle yeah i just decided i'm gonna walk it was like covid kind of thinking it was like it was i just watched the ball drop it was like two in the morning oh i was celebrating yeah yeah but it was january one and i just you know i thought i'm just gonna get this

done i want to get out of here first thing in the morning the place is open 24 hours i'm so happy to be done with all this i just started freedom oh sweet freedom yeah and then you get plowed over yeah and you got and that was almost game over for you i mean it could have been it could have been sure yeah yeah i mean all the doctors were just like shocked there was no head trauma they just uh there's always head trauma i don't know maybe the jury's out still yeah maybe it's a slow burn but but when those shuttle buses too it seems like it takes them forever to stop so even if they hit you i feel like you'd get dragged underneath the bus from what i recall it hit me and threw me whoa you like ricocheted off of it yeah i landed uh a ways from the bus you get a sweet payday

from this the shuttle bus company went out of business like uh as soon as they hit the week of the accident it was a tiny shuttle bus company if we hit one more person we gotta shut it down We've already hit five this week. Steve, damn you. My attorneys go, that's not an accident. But, you know, they had an insurance company, so there was something there. Something, but not worth it. No, not worth it at all.

It's pretty bad. No, no. You had punctured lungs and broken. I mean, you were all jammed up for a while. Yeah, ten broken ribs. Five of them in a couple places. We're going to make an even worse L.A. experience for you right now. Because someone who works on our show claims, and this is not the first time this person on our show has claimed this,

but he claims that he used to do comedy with you in Seattle. Okay. With, I think, is in quotations. Right, right. I think you were just in the same building. Or could have just been the same city at the same time. I don't really know. Now, this person has claimed many times when we have comedians in,

oftentimes they've got a big special on Netflix, so I would argue you've made it as a comedian. You're touring. In fact, we'll talk about some dates you have coming up in Southern California at the Irvine Improv September 10th through the 12th if you want to see Ryan live there. But this person will always claim when we have a comedian, oh, I used to do comedy with them. I'm sure they'll remember me.

And Allie and I always argue and go, there's no chance they're going to remember you because you're very forgettable, which is not good for their self-esteem. Or also, it's just been so long and you meet so many people on the stand-up comedy circuit. How are you supposed to remember every comic that you perform with or meet or are on the same lineup as? So we're going to bring in four people right now. Okay. One of them claims that you will remember them. So I'm putting some pressure on you. I like this.

And once again, they did also claim that from what they remember, you were a very nice guy. You're one of the real ones. You're not one of these comedians that people don't like. I already know they're lying. It's not you. So I'm bringing in four people who are going to come into the KROQ studios right now. One of these, so three people. That's all we could get, a bunch of cuts.

We have three people. Oh, there's the fourth. That's the producer of our show. You can eliminate her immediately. All right, now quickly, Vanessa, get out of here. She can't pretend Now Ryan is studying the faces now Of these people

He's studying the faces Do you believe that you can tell First of all do any of them look familiar to you at all There is one There's one that looks familiar I don't recall where we met Or how we met But I know your face

And I'm pretty sure we've met Or I know your face Are you pointing at the man in the middle The man on the right here The man on the right wearing the purple hat Yeah. All right, so you don't know how you know him, but you recognize that face.

I do recognize that face. He's gotten a bit older. It's been a long time. Want to take your hat off to show just how much older? Yeah, show how old you've gotten, Jake. All right, well, Ryan was the first comedian that was able to actually remember Jake's face. Congratulations.

What's your name? Jake Dill. Jake Dill, of course, yes. Jake Dill. Where you been? Jake, Jake. All right, Jake, go back to your office. I'll see you again in 20 years.

He can't hear us now. You don't remember him, right? You don't remember him, do you? I know his face. I mean, I lived in Seattle for a year. So we must have crossed paths at some point. Do you remember ever seeing his stand-up comedy? No, I can't remember anything specifically.

Consider yourself lucky for that one. I kind of remember maybe, you know, he was at the back of a comedy club or something like that. He just booked an indoor comedy club again. Oh, yeah, Jake was back to performing indoors. Yeah, Jake was only doing outdoor shows for a while. And I'm not talking about COVID days. I'm talking about recently. Jake, how close would you say you ever really were to Ryan Hamilton?

Be honest. How close? I mean, not that close. But we knew, like, all the same people. I can name Seattle comedians that we both know very well. Would you consider Ryan Hamilton a friend? We're friendly, but no. No, you're not friendly.

You're insane, dude. When he's just going, you look familiar, you're not friendly. We're best friends. Okay. Okay, there you have it. That's, well, that just goes to show you. The amount of people that have come into this station that Jake goes, oh, yeah, that's my friend. And they go, hi, nice to meet you.

It's remarkable. Okay, well. Jake, Ryan's busy selling out real venues and doing comedy specials. So I don't have time for this nonsense here. We have lots of mutual friends. Who also don't remember me. In a moment, we're going to take these calls. There's a lot of people that would like to tell you the times they almost died.

And you will help us decide which one of these people actually can come toe-to-toe with your story. Okay. Ryan Hamilton is here. His special's on Netflix right now. It's called This Just Hit Me. Coincidentally, Just Like the Bus, which I believe is how you were titling that, correct? Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

So it's a story about near death that became a positive. When did you almost die? How did you almost die? We'll take your stories next at 800-520-1067. Ryan Hamilton is here right now. Comedian, special on Netflix currently, and ryanhamiltonlive.com. Jake the Nerd's best friend. We'll come back with your stories and give away these tickets so you can go to a water park and potentially almost die there.

That'll be fun, and that'll be after this on KROQ. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley Show in our studio right now. Very funny, on Netflix currently. Ryan Hamilton, the special is Just Hit Me. Of course, he had a special that was out years ago, which I, like a lot of people, probably saw the new special first and then went back and saw the Happy Face special where you have been accused, and this is unfortunately one of the things that you've been accused of, and this is not because you got hit by the bus, but you constantly look like you're smiling.

Yeah. So you always look like you're in a good mood, so whenever someone says something like, my grandma died, you look like you're mocking them. Yeah, I can't go to a funeral, you know, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wake up in the morning, and I look in the mirror, and I go, this is inaccurate. I look like this, I don't feel like this. He's like the opposite of what I have, which is the resting monster. I know, we both look pissed off all the time. Always, always.

And I wish that I had, I mean, I guess, what's the worst one, right? If everyone expects that you're overly happy or everyone expects that you're pissed off. People always come up to me and say, what's wrong? And I'm like, why do you think something's wrong? And they say, you look like there's something wrong. Do people look at you differently? I don't know. I think people go, I can take advantage of that guy.

That guy looks like a sucker. This guy looks scammable. Yeah, let me see. Hi, you sucker. If you're a criminal and you see me walking around, you go, it's going to be a good day. I think I got this in the back. That guy looks very gullible. Yeah.

Well, there's a lot of people on the phone. And whenever you talk about I almost died, and you didn't say it, but let's be honest. You got hit by a shuttle bus, by LAX, broke a lot of bones, spent a lot of time in recovery. And so other people like to one-up those stories. And we have a lot of people that would like to go ahead and share their stories with you. You'll help us decide who's got the closest. Let's say hi to Dave right now. Dave, how did you almost die?

I almost died by piercing my tongue. Explain. so what it was i was 18 years old i was at a tattoo parlor got my tongue pierced a couple days my tongue was fat you know but and i read on it and said the tongue could swell down in a couple days but it never did so um after that my back started hurting and i was so yeah i was throwing up so i didn't go back i didn't go to my mom took me to doctors like three days after i started feeling kind of sick so luckily my mom took me to the doctors because the doctor said if i would have waited another day or two i would have probably died because what happened is when i

was at the hospital i was in a coma for a week oh um they did like spinal taps on me they did all this kind of you know testing to figure out what was going on with it so um my organs started shutting down so my mom was uh already signing the papers you know to donate my organs whoa She didn't like you. She was probably already so mad that you got your tongue pierced in the first place. Bring the papers in. We don't need those yet, ma'am. I told him not to get his tongue pierced, so sign right here.

Hold on, Dave. Hold on. That's an interesting one. I mean, listen. That's a slow burn. Slow burn. Doesn't have the same glory as getting hit by one of those shuttle buses. Also, you know, you choose that.

You chose to get your tongue pierced. True. So, you know, come on. That's on you, ma'am. Yeah, yeah. You don't deserve to die, but you deserve something if you're choosing to get your tongue pierced. Joy? Go ahead.

You almost died. Ryan almost died. He's here to tell the tale. What happened to you? Yes. So I almost died on a rented bike in the Netherlands. Okay. How?

Relatable. Relatable. I was with my mom. We were traveling in Europe, and she was on the bike, and I don't know why she made this decision, but she sped across a pedestrian walkway just as the light was about to change, And I'm freaking out because I'm like, I don't want to lose her, but also I don't want to get hit by a car. So I'm pedaling as fast as I can, and I jump the curb, and I go toward the concrete, and I see my whole life flash before me, 25, whole life flash before me.

And thank God I was able to, like, push myself up with my hands, but I swear I saw my face smash in that basement, and I was gone. And nothing happened? You ended up with nothing happening? I feel like you wasted your life flashing before your eyes for nothing. I don't even know if I can count that as an almost death. Really, I was just an idiot tourist who fell off a bicycle. Yeah, that happens. I think Ryan's got you beat on that one.

I've fallen off of a bike like six times. Yeah, that's when Allie says she's going bike riding. That's what she means, just falling off of bikes. Hold on, Saul, you think you can one-up Ryan. Go ahead. Hey, good morning. How's it going, guys? So back in 2015, I was riding home from work on my motorcycle,

and I stopped at a stop sign, and that was the last thing I remembered. Next thing you know, I'm waking up, and I'm in the hospital. Well, it turns out I had been in a coma for six months and I was on a ventilator on life support and everything. So I couldn't talk. So I didn't really know what was going on. And then like my sister was there with me and she was telling me, I guess, like I had already had like 27 surgeries because I shattered my pelvis. I lost my leg and I shattered my arm. And then it still took me a whole nother year to go to rehab and stuff to learn how to walk again. Well, and you have to learn to walk

with just the one leg. Yeah, yeah, so it sucked because, like, all the swelling and, like, I guess my nub, you know? So you got to get used to that. Your body, you wear a sock over it and stuff, so... Is it possible you were only in there for, like, a week and your sister was just messing with you?

Because that would have been funny. And you have no leg! Your life is over! Your wife left you! All right, well, that's all for you. That's intense, man. That actually rivals your story a little bit. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That sounds pretty serious. In fact, if any of these stories you want to take for your next special, you can just take one of them and change the names, and you've got a new story to tell. This just hit me. Motorcycle edition. Vanessa, we give you the final word here, and then we've got to make a decision.

Ryan's going to help us decide which story rivals his the best. Go ahead, Carlos. Hey, good morning, guys. So I almost got shot for being a hero. What happened? so i was 16 17 just got my license driving with my friends and we see this guy literally trying to drag or grab his girlfriend or partner whatever she's screaming like get away from me whatever we get off like hey confronting the guy the guy pushes the girl runs away and the girl just starts

telling us like get out of here get out of here mind your business get out all right we left and then a couple blocks later the car pulls up i turn to my left and i see the guy from the From his passenger side, just pulled up a gun, ready about to shoot me. And if it wasn't for that same crazy girl, she literally grabbed his hand and said, no, no, no, and I was just, I was shocked. I didn't move.

Wow, so if she hadn't stepped in and said, don't shoot him, you think you would have just been shot? Yeah, I feel like, yeah, he already had it aimed at me, and I was just, I just froze. I was, that's it. Well, yeah, almost dying just for trying to save somebody. That's pretty bad. We've heard some stories.

which one resonates with you the most as someone who almost died right here in L.A.? This motorcycle accident feels like real trauma to me. Yeah, that sucks. I mean, 27 surgeries? Yeah, that's intense. And losing six months of your life, if that's, you know, legit, that's...

Or getting a lovely six-month nap. Yeah. Yeah, which you don't really appreciate. That sounds great. Until afterwards. I agree. That one, I think, was, by the way, the most... I mean, that guy...

Yeah, that's intense. Makes your story sound weak, actually. Yeah, exactly. He's really ruined your entire... It's too bad that guy's not a comedian. He could really He really went up your special Just hit me, we get it

Before you go Ryan, we have a question for you Since you have recently been to a Buc-ee's Okay This is an important question This is a long going feud on the show This is something that's been debated For a while And maybe you can finally settle it

Do you consider Buc-ee's to be A store Or do you consider Buc-ee's first To be a gas station well after visiting it it's a hard question to answer but until you visit it you it's pretty easy but once you visit it it becomes difficult but i'm still gonna say in my heart of hearts that it's a gas station beautiful hear that jake jake you hear that you hear that that he's he's divided though

As you go, as you've gone to one, wait, wait, wait. As you've gone to one, which way are you leading? He's been to them, but he recently just drove by one. And in fact, he posted something just like last week on your Instagram where you posted that you're driving by a Buc-ee's. And he said, look at that gas station. Look at that gas station. Do you think more people go there for the store or the gas? I think they go there because it's Buc-ee's and it's there.

Because it's both. It's there. It's just there. It's there. That's how it wins. It's not a store or a gas station. It's just there. When you went there, did you get gas previously?

Yeah. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once again. I stopped for gas. And then it was convenient that there was also a large store. Let me go look at this crazy museum. But that was the main reason for the purpose.

Jake, you can't admit anything now? I disagree. Oh, my God. You're once again by yourself. Ryan Hamilton stand-up special, which is on Netflix right now. You should watch it if you haven't already. It's very funny. This just hit me.

You'll hear about his time in L.A. Not only just under the bus, but other things as well. Dating, single, workout routine. It's a very funny special, and I recommend that highly. Also, ryanhamiltonlive.com for tickets to the upcoming shows, including the Irvine Improv on September 10th through the 12th. So he'll be back here for that, and then much more coming up. And when you're back in L.A., please stop by. You're always welcome here.

Thanks. This was so funny. Next time, do you think he'll remember Jake Alley or no? E. That would be funny. He's a store guy. It erased my memory once I saw him again. Starts all over again.

Men in Black style. More show after this, guys. Hey, Rob. We are Plain Alley Show. We'll get into some ADD news. Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. Of course, there's a lot of messages always waiting on that GOAT line for you. 844-956-GOAT.

Hey, guys. I have a request. Since Fat Alley is back, don't forget that that means you get to bring back the ADD News intro about the one that says and now Barbara Walrus. Thanks. Appreciate it.

Bye-bye. You know what? That is a popular request. I don't think we're there yet. Oh, Omar. I don't think so, man. We're not there 100% yet. Omar's disappointed. I'm not fatter by now. Totally. But you can see the tusks are starting to grow and that means it's time for this. Grab your ride or all.

It's time for ADD News And now, here she is, Barbara Walrus. We do have a bunch of old ADD News intros that are all fat-shaming in different ways, so we'll bring those back. Thank you for reminding us to find all those. We stored them in the refrigerator, but we'll bring them out and we'll play them all in due time. Last night, I had an entire potato's worth of homemade fries, a giant vat of spinach, and a bison burger, and was hungry an hour later. Yeah, but all that crap you're saying right now, that's not going to get you where you need to get. A vat of spinach?

That's nothing. I mean, come on. I have to eat a vegetable at some point. Let's go. Let's go to the real stuff, Allie. Come on. Bison's an interesting choice. Why'd you go bison?

It's all I had in the freezer. But I remember before, when I was trying to get pregnant, I was trying to eat things with as much iron as possible. So I had a bunch of leftover bison that I had bought at Costco. That's a bison on bison crime, Ali and Bison. Who will take over first, the animals or the robots? With AI starting to hack other companies, you'd think, okay, maybe it's the robots. Then you hear about all the animal attacks and you go, ah, maybe it's going to be animals that will kill us all first. We have yet another rattlesnake bite incident.

This one happened in Stevenson Ranch up in Santa Clarita. bit a woman named linda who says gardening is her therapy every day she went out to tend to her roses she lifted up a bush and then this happened before linda martin could even make one snip saturday evening she was racing for her life oh god racing she seemed super annoying she had a weapon on her too i mean she had uh she had clippers yeah she could have taken the head right off that thing that would have been so cool i went and lifted the bush and when i did i saw the rattler no warning not even a rattling sound just sudden pain and a burning sensation just another uh you know indication that jake is wrong yet again we made you said at the beginning

they're only off the trail so just stay on the trail you'll be fine yes if you're hiking stay on a trail you'll be fine and they wanted nothing to do with they want nothing to do with you and If you don't bother them, they're not going to bite you. And this is like the fourth or fifth thing in a row for someone that was just doing their own daily whatever. And the snake was like, don't like it, I'll bite you. I think the last like seven rattlesnake bites have not been on a trail. Yeah, I mean, the one we did talk about last week was that girl that went out to pick up an Amazon package. There was a snake hiding beneath it, it bit her.

Lying in wait. I'm sure there's other snake encounters all time on trails every day that we don't hear about it because nothing happens. Right, because you couldn't possibly be wrong. Right, that's impossible. Then, in 30 to 45 seconds, I started feeling the tingling in my fingertips, and then it moved to my jaw, my cheeks, my tongue. And her husband's like, come on, take her. Let's go. A minute later, she was on the floor of her Stevenson Ranch home, trying to call 911, but her spotty cell signal failed to connect.

Dialed a third time, and that's when my husband looked at me and said, just get in the car. Third time. Get in the car, you dumbass. Getting bit by a rattlesnake. in your stupid rose bushes. Within 10 minutes, they arrived at Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital ER

where she was given anti-venom. Experts say her story isn't so rare nowadays. Yeah, so that happened. And then in other news... That anti-venom, by the way, I don't think places have that much of it

because it feels like every time they get one person in there with a bite, they go through their entire supply. I think sometimes they have to get a second dose from another hospital. Yeah, it's always bringing around and sharing the anti-venom.

And I wonder how many anti-venoms they have of different animals. Right? They've got a scorpion one. They've got a spider one. They've got a snake one. They've got a few different species,

but that's kind of it. Can you start micro-dosing anti-venom now just to have a nice little immunity to it so if a snake bites you, you just keep on with your day? I think some people who own cobras do that. Really? I think so.

They administer venom to themselves so they can build up an immunity? I've heard some real freaky dudes doing that so if they get bit, they have some kind of immunity to it. What are the odds that Jake knows how the people with their own cobras live their lives? I know a few freaky snake dudes. Yeah, all right.

So, also, coyotes have taken over an abandoned building in West Hollywood, and this is even scarier if you weren't freaked out by the rattlesnakes. This abandoned building has turned into an animal shelter, and here's a little bit of what they have to put up with, especially at night. So that's what the building sounds like every single night, And this is a woman, you know, a woman lives right across the street in a residential neighborhood. But there's this abandoned building that's just kind of like it's a construction project that got abandoned. And all these coyotes just live there now.

Not your typical neighbors. Do we have like a zoo here? Coyotes wandering the floors of this abandoned development in West Hollywood. This video shows a coyote with at least three small pups. They roam around. There's a little one. They're kind of straggly. That is so aggressive.

So loud. At night, the neighbors say the howling is deafening. I'm scared to go to my house. I open my garage and I'm afraid if one of them is not going to come to my house. Ava lives right across the street. I complain, West Hollywood, and they told me they're going to talk to the owner. The head coyote. Well, what seems to be the problem, man?

The reality is I lived in West Hollywood for a bit, and I lived right next to a very, very loud gay club, and that was almost as bad as the coyote. That's where I learned that voice. I picked up that voice. Same shrieking? Same high-pitched shrieking. And I said, I think there's a bunch of coyotes living in there.

I complained, too. I said, these must be all coyotes. They go, no, no, those are all men. But then, of course, there are a lot of wildlife activists out there who think that this is just fine. The development has been sitting idle for at least two years. I, myself, am not that turned off by the fact that, you know, some animals in need of a home would come in. Of course you're not turned off by it. Turned on by everything.

I'm not turned off by anything. But the fact that you're like, oh, these animals need a home. Let's just let them raid this construction project. This is where people start making fun of California. Yeah. If the building's abandoned, by the way, Halloween's right around the corner. We should convert this thing into a haunted house. Oh, my God.

Talk about a scare zone. We would make so much money. You have to go in with your dogs. You leave the coyotes in there? Totally. A real haunted house? Totally. Yeah.

Bring your small children and dogs. Oh, possibly. Enter at your own risk. We have them sign waivers. Cool. That's real fear. If there's one thing that this company loves, it's a spreadsheet. They love showing us the state of radio with every graph and spreadsheet imaginable.

It's not dead. It's not dead. Really? I look at my paycheck. Yeah, it's dead. But spreadsheets aren't just for companies anymore. Here's the last spreadsheet they showed us. If you see here, this is your career.

It was here. Now people have spreadsheets for their dating lives because single people are now overwhelmed by the dating world. They're trying to keep track of their dating lives because there's too many people. There's too many first dates. They can't keep track. Sometimes you date the same person, you don't even realize it. So after the dates, they will log certain details to allow them to keep track, make sure they're not overlooking any red flags.

Some of them even have a friend's commentary section so that the friends can comment their first impressions. But you can put in their occupation, their emotional availability, the chemistry from a 1 to 10, who paid, yeah, friends' opinions, any deal breakers, green flags versus red flags, and whether or not they, like how many dates they went to, when they started catching feelings

all that stuff is being tracked now that sounds like a real bore fest after the date so much work just go in open up your spreadsheet

why don't you just go get laid like get drunk and get laid like it used to be that was fine people figured it out spreadsheets are only

created out of sheer boredom or desperation like I'm so desperate the only way I can keep my thoughts together is through a spreadsheet

or I have nothing better to do I'm getting close when you started this story Ally you said that radio isn't a bad place but I want to

play this message to prove that That is not the case. We are all doing great. Hey, listen to yesterday's episode. I thought it was pretty sad for Jake. You guys need to somehow get him a raise or we can have a GoFundMe to buy him some meat for his sandwiches. Or is he just not good with his money?

But it was sad. I was just speechless listening to someone making a mustard sandwich on the street like a homeless guy. So I don't know if he needs a raise or someone needs to teach him how to manage his money. It's probably a combination of the both. It's both. He's bad with money. Jake is terrible with money because he always buys these stupid paintings he finds on Facebook Marketplace. Because I'm saving money on meat.

That's right. That's meat money. He could be saving on meat. Instead, he's buying himself more blacklight posters for the shack. We get into a brand new hour of the show next. This is the world famous K-Rock. Call 20. Don't do that to go see the Foo Fighters.

This is part of K-Rock's summer ticket blowout. And we're looking for you right now. The number's 800-520-1067. Once again, you've never called before, perhaps never won before. So what's the point? Well, we are live. We've got working phones for a change, and we're looking for you at 800-520-1067. Yeah, don't get down on yourself.

It could happen for you. And if you need to feel better about yourself, you just heard one of the messages about Jake and his sad mustard sandwich recipe. You can see that video up on our Instagram, Klein Alley Show. Here's another person concerned about Jake. Klein Alley. I got to address something here. uh jake if you do not have lunch money let me send you money okay it costs a dollar to get a stack of

deli meat at any store i don't know how in the world you could ever be so cheap that you can't afford lunch meat that you have to eat just the mustard sandwich that is beyond el cheapo well here's the thing i think that that was uh jake's like everyone's got them a meal that would be their struggle meal. And ramen was, for a while it was ramen. Then ramen kind of became cool and hipstery. But for a while,

ramen was the acceptable struggle meal because it was super cheap and it could fill you up. Jake's struggle meal was the mustard sandwich. I don't think he eats that by choice now. Do you, Jake? Sometimes. But this guy is lying that you can't get a stack of meat

for a dollar. And deli meats are way more expensive. Yeah, they are. And why would I buy it if I could almost taste the meat already? Yeah. But you could actually taste the meat. And if the guy's worth it, if he spent five dollars on deli meat, Ali, he could put a slice per sandwich. I mean, it's not going to be a waste. I don't know, man.

A pack of deli meat's like 12 bucks these days. I thought the mustard sandwich was a joke. I didn't realize that you are still making that. They're good. They're not good on that bread. I got fancy bread and fancy mustard. Yeah, but you wouldn't even have like a piece of cheese, like nothing. No mustard.

cheese and mustard don't go together cheese and mayonnaise go together oh my man so the mustard sandwich is a real thing when's the last time I know you made the video to show you could make it in the street during the heat wave but when is the last time you actually made yourself a mustard sandwich for real

it's been a little bit because I haven't had mustard I was eating beans beans just by themselves or bean sandwiches no beans and cheese and spinach ok let's say hi to Brenda now that everyone's lost their appetite You wonder why you have ass issues. I mean, Jake.

What are you talking about? It's good stuff. Yeah, I understand. That's a full protein right there. It's too much. It's too much what you're doing. Brenda, you are the 20th caller from Lawndale. Congratulations.

Yeah! Thank you. Welcome. You're welcome. You can go see Foo Fighters as part of KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout. So enjoy yourself some Foo Fighters. You will not be disappointed. And hang tight for those tickets.

By the way, if you're listening and you're annoyed that you didn't get through, don't worry. You have another chance every hour now, all day long. and you'll be seeing all the bands that you wanted to see. I don't know which band will be which hour, so just keep listening to win your way in. Allie, if you'd like to live forever, that's the gift we can give our audience today. We have a brand new old people secret,

and it's a double. It's a two for Tuesday, as they call it. I'll take the double. In the biz. I'll take the double. We'll come back with that in a moment. Two old people interviewing each other. Sisters? Brothers?

I don't think they're even related. They just happen to be turning 110 and 107, and they'll share with us their secrets, so we will get to that after this one from Julia Wolf on KROQ. To give you the gift of living forever, earlier today I heard stories about times people almost died. But how would you like the gift of eternal life? We talked to the old people because every week someone else turns 110. They share that news immediately.

Their secret to living forever with the local news. They make a big deal about it. It's very exciting when someone lives to 110 because I think even though technically our bodies are built now to live to 156 years old, they claim. No one's ever gotten that far. We've never made it that far. But, yeah, they are saying babies born now will probably live to 120 easy. Damn. and you start figuring out all the stuff with the blood spinning and the peptides and everything else,

you know, we could probably figure out how to get it up to, I would imagine, I'm just trying to think, when we, we're not going to make it, you and I. Oh, no, we're done. We're toast. But I could see, like, maybe Johnny has a shot at it. Vanessa, too, potentially. Although I heard Vanessa went nuts on the donuts today. Yeah, I think she had a couple donuts already today.

I had two. Jesus Christ. Okay, so that's my one thing, okay? Sounds like it's your tooth. I'm weak. I'm weak. I mean, you... They're bigger than her head, those donuts.

Yeah, massive donuts. I thought you said stay away. I know, but you know what? I saw you hovering. You were hovering over that box for a while. But think about it. It's been a while, so I'm proud of myself. She came in and said...

My knees are tight. My butt is huge. All right, relax. She's been running. It's back to normal. Don't talk bad about yourself. All right. I heard you completely caved today.

Did you grab two at once and eat them at the same time? No, I had one. I waited like an hour. No, you didn't. You brought the donuts in and said, I had one already. Yeah, I had one. Oh, before she even brought the box up? No, yes.

And then I waited an hour to have the second one. Where did these donuts come from? Because I thought we told listeners, stop sending donuts. It was from Kimberly, the listener that gave us the gender reveal. Oh, the gender reveal we did today? They sent us donuts? Yeah. Oh, and Vanessa went to town on those, huh?

Maybe the answer was inside. we'll never know was it i ate it was it pink or was it blue frosting it was pink oh okay well congratulations you're having a girl uh yeah vanessa man oh man well the thing about these secrets though and say who's the secret to long life you know one person will say i never drank in my life and another person will say i have brandy every single day so that's why we get confused and then it's like well might as well eat the donut because i don't know what the hell is going to make me live long or what's not one and then you start to realize maybe there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's just all part of God's

master plan. It's time for Old People's Secrets. From chicken brain to drinking rain not getting laid they call me the bar maid. They call me the bar maid. That's right.

Let's live forever with sweet dibbits. Sweet dibbits. Time for some Old People's Secrets. This is not one but two, Allie. So, I'll take the double. Two for Tuesday. Old People's Secrets. Take a listen. Well, a big day in Jacksonville today.

Miss Willie Mae Jackson, who you see right here, is turning 110. It's the greatest old person name ever. The last few weeks, we've had the best old people. Willie Mae Jackson? Awesome. Isn't that a baseball player? Yeah, I think so. Willie Mae is, right? That's right.

She has multiple records. Multiple records. Good for her. And helped break the color barrier. So, all very impressive. And in Folkston, Georgia, Miss Sally Chapman is celebrating her 107th birthday this month. Now, together, they have lived through two world wars, the Great Depression. Now, this is where they list all the depressing things that they lived through.

And they can do it double, because there's two of them. There's two of them, the Greater Depression. The remarkable transformation of America. So, what's their secret to longevity? Well, I spent time with both of these amazing women and their daughters to find out. Oh, my goodness. Tell them some story. That probably took her all day.

They weren't in the same room, at least, at the same time. Because I think that you'd have to figure it out, you know, if you have two old people. What about you? What about you? How does it feel? I feel good. No, there's no way. They're drowning right with the music.

They're playing her off already. But she's... I mean, she has to be sedated, right? It sounds like it. Yeah. I mean, that's why you feel good, obviously. Well, most of the time. She runs all the time.

Yes. I feel good. Yeah, I feel good on that oxy. That's another hit. She raised a family Worked as a cook And says the secret To a long life

Okay hold on Oh already They don't have time To waste It's 110 They gotta get it out quick You gotta lead with the secret Or else you lose it

Oh man she's a cook She's a cook Now this is only one Of the two old ladies Is this Willie Mays here This is Willie Mays Hayes Okay alright Willie Mays Hayes

What do you believe Her secret is To a long life She says she feels good I think she's gonna say Like good food Good food Like good clean eating

All right, clean eating. Jake? Stealing the bases. Got to steal the bases. That's a good answer right there. Omar, got a guess? I think she's going to give no answer answer. I think she's going to fade out mid-sentence.

Yeah. Thank you. We'll go to the next one. That's why they have another old person. A backup. A backup. An understudy old person. If we can't get the 110-year-old to give us one, we'll go right to the 170.

Both survived. I guess we'll run both. Vanessa, put down the donut and answer if you could, please. I was spending time with my friend. Okay, this is what she said. This is a very old person answer. It's surprisingly simple. Iced tea, right?

Sweet tea. Yeah, tea. Tea. Hot tea. Hot tea. Uh-huh, sweets. What? So the woman tried to steal her own.

She's kind of leading the witness there. Yeah, she said sweet. You like tea, don't you? Right? Sweet tea. Yeah, tea. Tea. Hot tea.

Hot tea. Hot tea and sweet tea. Okay. Green tea. I can't even agree on their line. They're all caught up. Hot tea, sweet tea, and green tea. We practiced this.

We told the news. We ought to tell them something. Hot tea and sweet tea. Okay. Green tea. I love them all. I love what? All the teas?

And she loves them all. Is she driving now? They immediately drove off. Oh, no. They got the secret. They just drove off. What the hell? That's the first car.

Put her in the garage with the door closed. And then immediately she leaves that old person to go to another old person. About 50 miles away in Folkston, Georgia, another remarkable woman is celebrating a milestone of her own. I don't know why they chose the death music for the second woman. I know, it really does seem like she's dead. But the second woman they really play. Sally Chapman just turned. Whoa, Shabba.

Oh. Now this is the other one. Oh, great voice. I love her. She's, this is great. She's like a ghost. Like a drunk ghost. Whoa, Shabba.

And she still lives at home with her daughter. Of course. How does it feel to be 107? good and very good. Very good. Yeah, those drugs are very good. So anyway, she's 107. If I'm doing something, I look around,

she's gone. That's why we had to put these bells on her walker. So they kept losing her. So they put bells on the walker. She was roaming the halls. How fast is she? They're not paying attention, Jake. Yeah, dude. So the bells were on her walker

so they know where she is. You're a loser. If I'm getting something, I look around, she's gone. That's why we had to put these bells on her walker. So, anyway, that's like old people abuse. But this is how they're keeping tabs on her. This is like something you do to a cat, I think. I do that with my dog.

Yeah. To keep up with her. Known affectionately around town as Mother, Sally treasures visits from her friends. I got a friend that comes to see me. You guys got that? I got a friend. They call her something. I think her friend has to feed her, she said, or something.

They come to feed me. They come to feed me. Oh, her friend's going to feed her. Maybe she's a cat situation. Maybe she's in a petting zoo. Oh. That made me happy. Her secret to longevity?

All right. Guys, what's your secret? She's got bells on her walker. She's got a friend that comes and feeds her. Because she's too fast. They can't keep up with her. I find that hard to believe, by the way. There's no way they can.

They're in terrible shape if they can't keep up with her. I mean, she's living at home. um god i think she is gonna say you know what i bet there's like a tv show that she watches every day so she's gonna say every day it's like a soap opera or something that's her little show general hospital yeah my life is where she's gonna be going to the general hospital omar uh you got a guess yeah i think she's gonna say um take it easy live in the moment something like that all right Uh, you got a guest there, Jake the Nerd. Haunting the attic.

Haunting in the attic is a good guess. Sounds like she's ready for that. Uh, Vanessa? This one's for sure going to say a little whiskey. A little whiskey. All right, here we go. Let's find out. Her secret to longevity?

What do you always say? Please leave. There you go. What is that? You guys got it. Once again, if you want to live forever, remember. Turn up the music. Remember this.

Please leave. is that the new sweet divots maybe did she say sweet divots i think she kind of i think we're getting another sweet divots maybe the first repeat old people secret ever with a second sweet divots guys sweet divots no alcohol oh lame-o but her daughter says there's more to it than just that we live on a busy street so she watches the traffic oh that sounds terrible she has never eaten chicken and eggs turkey uh listen there's a bunch of things she never eats so she watches traffic she has never eaten chicken and eggs turkey and nothing with feathers is what she says interesting love that story all right well there you have it

old people secrets i couldn't wait to wrap that up nothing with doubles i don't know what that is nothing with doubles it's like uh no chicken turkey or eggs you may be a fan of that mustard sandwich. No more turkey. Gotta take a break. More sweet divots on the flip side of this. We've got believe it or not, more show after this. It's K-Rock. We're Clown Alley Show. I think I've made a pretty impactful decision

that I think will probably change my life forever and I'm wondering if you've made a similar decision and how you look back on and go, was that the right call or did I make the wrong call? Is this about your workout routine and your protein kick? Nope. Nope. No, nothing to do with that at all. I played around with a leaf blower over the weekend

and I should play around with it. I mean, I used it to blow things around. Is this a euphemism or are you actually just playing with a leaf blower? No, I thought you like, you know, switch it on reverse or whatever, put your peepee in it. I didn't know you could do that.

Even more of a reason why I think I want to get one, but I think I've decided that I'm going to buy a leaf blower. I'm going to be a leaf blower guy. You're not a leaf blower guy, man. Oh, dude, wrong. You should have seen the way I handled this thing. At first, it took me a little while to get used to and then I got good at it

and now wait how did you practice if you don't have one uh borrowed a leaf blower for no reason or you had to do something with it i decided to blow some stuff around and you say what you had a neighbor and just said hey can i borrow that uh the neighbors i have used the neighbor's leaf blower before that one's not great and then there was a gardener that was out doing his not my gardener another person's gardener and i said hey any chance i can borrow that leaf blower oh a gas one that one was gas that one was cool oh those gas ones are powerful but they stink up I was getting dizzy. I was getting high from that, but it was awesome.

But I've also used a less powerful electric, you know, California-friendly leaf blower. Yeah, I have a leaf blower that I never use because it's... You have one? You own a leaf blower? Yeah. We used it, like, twice. I'll buy it off you right now. Is it a good one or is it crap?

I won't tell you how much you gave me for it. Forget it. I don't want it. I already know you bought a crappy one. I'm getting it. It's one of those ones that you have to basically plug in because if it's not plugged in, it's so weak. I'm going to use it all sorts of places.

I know you're thinking you just use it to blow leaves around. That's like so short thinking. You can just do that. I'm going to use it inside the house for things. But you're going to get one of those women. You're not going to get a manly leaf blower. You're going to get one of those womanly ones, right? You're wrong, dude.

A real man one. One of the womanly ones, like dust buster size? Those are the ones, the little blackened decker. They cost like 60 bucks. No, I'm kidding. They look like a magic wand, actually. They're so thin. I did see ones on Amazon as low as 60 bucks.

In my head, if someone said how much a leaf blower, I said a good leaf blower is probably 500 bucks. Yeah, I thought they were expensive. Yeah, they're around $3.50. Remember that chainsaw I was going to buy to carve the turkey? Remember the turkey chainsaw? Oh, yeah. All right, this is like, I'm not going to go ahead. This is dumber.

No, not dumber. This one, I'm really, I've committed to it. I'm getting it. Today's the day. Wow. This is big news. I'm glad we're talking about it. Allie, I'm going to bring it into the studio and clean up that area over there.

I don't want you to bring it in here. I'm going to bring it everywhere I go. No, you're just going to bring, my allergies are going to go crazy. It's just going to be dust everywhere. No, that's what you think. You've got to figure out. Where is it going to go? Once you blow it up into the sky, then you do another move with it.

This is like where you get good at it, and then you can actually take all the stuff you've created. So you're blowing it in the sky in a certain direction? Yeah, and then you blow it out. He's an artist. Are you going to open the door and blow it into Vanessa's office? Yep, yep, right out. And move the paper bag around like American Beauty. And if Vanessa goes to try to take a third donut, guess what?

I'll blow it right out of her hands with that thing. I think this thing is so useful for so many reasons. I know people, I know in general, the sounds of leaf blowers, which, you know, if you live in Southern California, you hear them a lot. It's annoying. I don't mind it. You hear them early in the morning. You hear them, you know, before late at night. There are certain times to use them that I think are acceptable.

And I know some people really hate the smell of the gas ones. But the electric ones, I think that there's so much you could do with it. And I've been watching. What else can you do with it? What are the plans you have? Anytime you have to move piles of stuff. Like what? Other than leaves?

Clothing. You're going to just blow clothes around your house? Yeah, like socks at the bottom. With a gas leaf blower? No, I'm not going to get a gas one. I'm going to get an electric one for inside the house use. But I'm going to like when there's... Is this going to be a replacement for the vacuum?

Yeah, I forgot that thing. No, there's not anymore. It's just so much coordination you have to do with the pile. It's so fun. It's like therapy. Do you think your wife would let you blow dry your hair with it? Cool. That's cool.

I mean, it's got to cut the time and have at least... Or dry her off after a shower. Probably instant. Probably instant. And she walks out naked, I just blast her with it. Totally. I will do it. Not only that, I'm going to offer to leaf blow people's places for free.

You can put her spray tan stuff in there, too, and give her a spray tan. Oh, my goodness. Just stand by this bucket of paint. Just get it done and done. Yeah, but I'm very shocked that you walked up to somebody else gardening another person's house and had the audacity to ask them for their leaf blower for a while. I said, when are you going to be done with that? Well, as you know, I'm a big, I offer drinks to a lot of people.

things to do i know but i let me put it on and that thing was cool because that one had like a is that the one where you put it on like a little backpack yeah like the rocketeer all right well and they do like amazing work with how they coordinate when i've ever used a leaf blower there's just leaves blowing all over the place they do this little uh move where they like kind of do a little circle thing it's the best i don't know what they do it's like always a controlled pile i'm amazed that's the part i'm learning omar and that's the part i'm gonna get good at because that part is what blows my mind and i'm gonna tell you right now i don't have a thing in my life I'm not into meditation.

Yeah, you need a hobby, man. No, this, when I did... Go back to gambling. No, I can't. Let's get two of them and have a duel. I've lost all the money gambling, but I got leaf blower money because we're only 60 bucks. Are you going to start doing blow-and-goes?

I'll happily do that. I've been watching for years, everywhere I've lived. I've watched some people come and blow piles over the neighbors. Another guy comes the next day, blows it right back. I've seen this. I've got to get involved in this game. I've got to get in the action. They're just blowing them back and forth.

I'm going to get involved, and I have certain parts of my, like the cobwebs. There's gross areas, dusty areas in the garage. Allie, it's so fun. I'm so excited about it. I mean, I guess I've underestimated what I can do with my leaf blower at home. You guys are trying to yuck my yum, and I don't like it because I'm going to blow it. I'm all aboard, man. Well, no, I don't like that.

How many miles per hour is this thing? I was going to ask you almost since you're a real man. One of them says it's got 500 AXXs or something. That sounds dope. AXQs. Mine's 120 miles per hour leaf blower. Whoa, that seems high. It'll blow a leaf 120 miles an hour?

Yep. Top speed. Okay, leaf race. Scott actually got it for me years ago. What if you guys in a row all had one leaf and a leaf blower? Whoever got to the end. Yeah, duel. I mean, I got to get.

I don't know what this thing 500 had said. I don't know if it was miles per hour. I think it was the sound it makes. Some of them, like, now they measure by something called CFM. I don't know what CFM stands for there. I think they just make all this up. Yeah. To impress men like you.

Whoa, CFM's 500? Got it. This was 500 CFM. Do you know what that means? Nope. Every day. Bloop, bloop, bloop. I walk into my house.

There's a pile of socks somewhere. There's dog toys. The dog goes in, takes all his toys out, scatters them around the house. I'm bending down like an ass moving stuff around that is over those days are done you can take it

when you're walking your dog when your dog craps just right into the street a lot of times I don't have a bag on me I flick it with a stick it's like a caveman you can add it to the

K-Rock ticket blowout oh my god are you just gonna like walk around with this thing on your back like a sword yep and I'm gonna bring it

with me everywhere including here and I hope to get it today so I'll have it tomorrow great and if Ali little things around here like there's so many uses

Just forward around here. Like when you and Jake come to the studio and it smells bad, blow that right out. It smells good. You can't blow the smell away. I'll blow that BO out. You'll just make more. 120 miles an hour. Take it on.

I'll blow it right into the halls. Someone else is probably in there. You got to spin the wheel. You can just spin it with a blower. Yeah. I don't have to reach over there like an idiot with my arm. I can just blow the blower. 408 said leaf blowers are awesome.

And when you think you did a good job vacuuming your car, you open up all the doors and take a leaf blower to it. So much stuff comes out of the car. It is remarkable. That sounds cool. It's the coolest. I can't believe I've never thought of doing that in my car. That's my point.

It's got a terrible name. The leaf blower is a terrible name for this thing. Dust blower. Okay, relax, Vanessa. That's two donuts talking. That's two donuts. She is a little amped up on sugar right now, but that's okay. You won't get two donuts if I got this leaf blower.

Trust me. I'll keep you safe from that. We can shoot a music video. Here's some takeaways. Get the hell out of here. And then give you some Sluggo, who's got more of those tickets. Part of K-Rock's summer ticket blowout. Tomorrow, we'll be blowing those tickets right out of a leaf blower.

So get ready to claim them, and you'll have tickets every hour, all day long here at KROQ. Just keep listening and keep calling the number 800-520-1067. Tomorrow, I'm sure we have something planned, but I don't remember what it is. So just tune in and find out tomorrow as we continue to give you more tickets, more water park access, and continue to send us your pictures of terribly parked cars so that we can get you in the running for the ultimate grand prize. For Park Week, last night I actually watched some Shark Week. Oh, nice. Is it good stuff? I was planning on watching that with my kid later.

I know I've told myself it's just the same footage every year, and they try to make it sound better. This was so cool. I was watching about bull sharks. Bull sharks are legit. Those are like the bull sharks. We always think it's the great whites we've got to be afraid of, but the bull sharks, they get mean. This whole thing was about they were simulating a rainstorm to see how much meaner they get, and then one of their divers got lost. How do they have the budget to do that?

I don't know. It's just incredible at this point what they've come up with for Shark Week. But Park Week is not nearly as exhilarating, but it's probably going to ruin your day more than a shark will today. So make sure to send us your pictures of terribly parked cars. Tag us at Klein Alley Show so we can get you involved using the hashtag Park Week. All right. Takeaways. What do we got?

All right. 6-2-6. My takeaway is watch out. Southern California Klein's going to blow everything everywhere. Oh, I am. 2-1-3. Coyotes in WeHo are just as noisy as gay clubs in WeHo. 6-5-0.

Willie Mae Jackson broke the color barrier. Big honor. 2-1-3. Sugar Ray is everywhere. Everywhere. Good luck avoiding Sugar Ray. 310, cheese and mustard don't go together. 818, Klein's neck isn't getting enough sleep.

And 909, my takeaway is Johnny is triggered by the sound of jingling keys. That's a good point. We learned a lot about today's show. If you missed it, check out the podcast to find out who on the show is the most whipped and which one of us cannot drive on the 5 freeway because their significant other finds it yucky. That's all available in the podcast or you can watch the show on YouTube. And thank you, Ginger Justin, for keeping us live streaming there. Johnny, you have a takeaway.

That sounds like an Allie issue. It is an Allie issue. We hear that a lot today on the show. Vanessa, takeaway? Jake has been whipped by life. That's a good takeaway. Sad but true. Jake, takeaway?

Yeah, women are our mailbox's worst enemy. Yeah, that's right. Watch out, mailboxes. We learned that today during the show as well. If you don't know what we're talking about, listen to more of the show. It'll all make sense eventually. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is people who create spreadsheets are either bored or desperate.

And finally, DJ Omar Khan. The five is yucky. The five is yucky. And remember that and everything else we told you on today's show. We'll do it again tomorrow. If you need us in the meantime, you can use the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. And we're going to go ahead and watch Vanessa have her sugar come down, which will be exciting when she starts to tantrum out and then take a nap.

I'll be back tomorrow to do it again. All right, bye. All right, this episode of Klein Alley Show, the podcast has come to an end. But if you haven't heard the big news, we are now on YouTube. That's right. Mr. Beast and us, the two most important things on YouTube. We're YouTube sluts now, and we're proud of it. You can watch the show.

We recommend you do. In fact, it makes us look good to the bosses and the people who make decisions around here. So, please, even if you don't want to see what we look like, and I don't blame you, if you could, go to KROQ's YouTube, subscribe, maybe even leave a comment or two under some of our videos, and you can watch us live every single morning on YouTube and watch the show after the fact when they upload it as a real big afterthought. And, of course, you can always follow us on Instagram at Klein Alley Show and listen to the live show on the radio at KROQ 106.7 on the Odyssey app or probably a better app. God, what have you done?

Thank you.