Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein Gets Naked & We Blind Taste Test Burgers (FULL SHOW 6/23)

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

Klein. In. Oil! Klein's been working on his body all spring and today was the big reveal of his summer bod. He lathered himself in shimmering body oil and paraded himself around the studio just as a bunch of guests were arriving. You gotta check out today's YouTube livestream to see it for yourself. Gorillaz' Jamie Hewlett finally sent us a package as a thank you for the jacket Klein gave him last time he stopped by the studio. We also got another big deliver: our KAS branded burger bibs from Burger 3000! And speaking of burgers... Three high end burger spots stopped by the studio today to celebrate burger week. They cooked up burgers in our company kitchen and brought in some of the best burgers we've ever seen. In order to earn the right to eat them, Jake had to do a blind smell test and correctly identify the burgers. It went haywire in the end because Johnny is a massive idiot. We also heard from Ally's wife today during Lezbihonest. The question was: is katie turned on by Ally's pregnancy boobs? Her answer revealed a plot twist none of us saw coming... Plus we learned what annoying thing you're doing at grocery checkouts during Clickbait, uncovered a scam our company was trying to pull on us, and challenged Jake to travel somewhere new to combat his early onset agoraphobia. Hertogenbosch, here we come!

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. thank you ladies and gentlemen hey what's going on crying alley are you ready hello crying alley you little bitch crying alley it's just okay just don't let things bother you too much

good morning everybody hey what up crying alley oh sweet damn it snake did you see that we are live in los angeles three two one and here we go low 6.7 kroqfm and hd pasadena los angeles orange county the sonic pulse of los angeles this This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah, welcome to your funner summer. Day number two or three, if you're keeping track. Good morning on How the Hell Goes It, Fine Alley Show. In your ear holes where we belong, if you'd like to see what it looks like in here.

And today may be a good day for you to check us out on YouTube. We got the burgers coming by. Jake claims that he is able to do the blind burger taste test in the same way that I was able to successfully do the blind pizza taste test. We will see if he's up for the challenge. If not, he may be getting in his car after the show today to drive to a Buc-ee's in Arizona. That's the punishment. So that's something we can look forward to later this morning on the show.

Also, today's the day that supposedly I'm going to be revealing my Shredded by Summer look. Yes, this is all you. But I would like another week, but I know you guys aren't going to give it to me. Another week? You're emailing it about two weeks ago. You're all antsy. Hey, when are we going to get this done? I want to show off my summer body.

I don't know why we, when we, when did we get the first email about this, Omar? Oh, this is. Yeah. February. Yeah. Maybe February, March. I just said, I think I'm going to. You're going to get unrequested pics for ever now.

Yes. Not unrequested pics. He's been giving us all thirst traps. They're not thirst traps. Hey, where was that pic that looked like you were covered in poop yesterday? That's right. That's what, that was not supposed to go to you guys. Everyone gets shredded differently.

What? We all have ours. I'm going with the laxative cleanse, Omar. That was so weird, man. That's mud. Oh, it was a, man, you are fancy. I tried every possible thing you could try. Maybe I'll just carve muscles out of mud.

Today will be the results day, Shred by Summer. And all I know is Vanessa went out and picked up special oil. Here it is. Oh, that's the oil she got for me? Shimmer Radiance Body Oil. That's not for guys. I wanted that stuff that the guys at Venice Beach wear, Muscle Beach. They're covered in...

This is what enhances glow. 48-hour moisture. Dermatologist approved. No, that's like girly stuff. It's got glitter in it. So what? Perfect. You're going to be glistening.

Yeah, perfect. No, that's the wrong stuff. Says the man who just put a bunch of mud on him. That was a few months ago. I tried the mud. That didn't work great for me. This is going to look great on you. Anyway, later this morning.

So lots of visual stimulation on the show today. And by the way, Allie, in case you're wondering, this is part of Funner Summer. But someone says they have an idea to make our summer even funner. All right, guys. I have one more item that really needs to be added to the Funner Summer list. This coming Saturday is the L.A. World Naked Bike Ride. You just spin that wheel and see who gets it. We did say we're done spinning the wheel of Funner Summer,

but perhaps we do one more and this person gets to participate in the Naked Bike Ride happening this weekend. Now, Allie, you know you are the bike rider of the group. I am? Yeah, we got all that video of you falling off the bike when you saw the man. Just because I fell off a bike one time? Yeah, you're the bike person. You're the bike.

You got a bike. You have the most expensive bike on the show. You do have the nicest bike. Yeah. It got stolen. I don't have a bike. Oh, you're bike-less now? It didn't get stolen.

Did it really? No, no, my wife has a bike. Oh, great. But the tires are flat, and it's a man's bike. That means you have a bike. Yeah, because you bought her the stolen bike for Christmas. I bought her a stolen bike, and it was a man's bike, and it's too big, and the tires are messed up.

Well, finally, we have an opportunity for you to use it. I have my kid's bike. Does anyone here have a work... It has training wheels on it. An alley on a kid's bike at the Naked Bike Ride would be great. My legs would have to be out so far, which would make that seat very uncomfortable. Anyway, it's a decent idea. I love the ideas that are waiting for us every morning.

If it happens, I will wear this. Hell, yeah. We got tons of oil, so get ready. Hot chicks covered in oil all show long. It's all part of funner summer. Kick things off with No Doubt, and then we'll get into everything that we have in store for you, including a bus trip to Santa Barbara to see Royal Otis. It's all coming up this morning.

Easy 100 bucks could be yours if you're on the phone right now at 800-520-1067. Allie will be forced to answer five questions about the news. She's currently working on a batch of ADD news coming up later this hour. And, boy, she would love to give you the money. In fact, she's not good holding on to money herself. In fact, you told a story yesterday about buying the expensive Toy Story popcorn bucket when you went to the movie this weekend, the souvenir popcorn bucket, not the little paper one that you just throw out.

And people are now concerned about you. Yo, love you guys. Great show. But I kind of fear that you guys are getting a little too big. Ali must be making a little too much money now, spending $35 on a movie popcorn bucket thing or whatever. If she changes her demographic and we lose El Cheapo, I'm worried about the future of the show. Stop going. Stay broke.

Let's go. Stay broke. El Cheapo. I don't like El Cheapo buying souvenir popcorn buckets. It goes against every fiber you're being. Look, I did not purchase the $35 popcorn bucket. That was for a different movie. This souvenir popcorn bucket

Was a tiny bucket and cup combination That was $9.99 And I made my father-in-law pay for it So boom There you go I thought we lost you for a second Pass the buck onto that Who's paying for this? That guy right over there

You know what I did because he's grandpa So it's fun for him to buy things for his grandson Because that makes him a good grandpa But also I did the thing where I Paid for the movies in advance Using a Fandango gift card and then we did the whole thing where it's like, we'll get the tickets, you get the popcorn.

And you know that you're going to end up probably being the person that pays less. Yes, absolutely. Because the snacks always add up big time. Yes, the snacks all add up. We had a bunch of large popcorns. The M&Ms were $9.99, all that stuff. I didn't pay for a dime of it.

And again, bought the movie tickets with a gift card. So don't worry about El Cheapo. Oh, I'm doing just fine. He's going nowhere fast. I'm completely broke. If you want Ali's money, take it now because she would love to give it to you, and all you have to do is be on the phone,

answer some questions about the news. We'll be back with that, and then everything else we have in store for you this hour on the show before you're getting on the bus to go see Royal Otis. Here's the details about that trip. It's all part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. Destination number five is Santa Barbara, California,

and you'll be seeing Royal Otis, and here's more details. Every morning around this time, chance to take some of Ali's cash. Hopefully you're on the phone now. 800-520-1067. Five questions about things happening in the world. do better than Allie and she will be

forced to pay you her money. She does it begrudgingly but she still does it and she's paid out thousands of dollars to people just like you every single morning against her will but to prove that every once in a while she knows more about the news than you do. I don't, yeah, I never really said this is what I wanted to do. No. But here we are.

This is something we do every day. And if you decide to take some time off for maternity leave, we'll continue to give your money away while you're not here. If I decide to? Well, yeah, you don't have to. You can just come in here and be a real trooper. Oh, really? Just come in here and...

If you gave birth through your stomach or vagina or butthole, I don't think you would be in here. I think you would. I think I would be. I think I would be. I would do it live on the air. As long as it's on a Friday. Yeah. That's right.

Thank you, Jake. As long as it's on a Friday, I'll take the day off. No other day of the week. Christina, good morning. Welcome to KROQ. Hi. Good morning. From Riverside, California, you have an opportunity to take Allie's cash now.

We are rooting for you. Please don't cheat. Allie will leave the KROQ studios. All right, I'm going to take some time off. As soon as Allie... There she is already. She's taking some extended maternity leave already. She is still in the very early stages of her first trimester.

She's leaving the studios now. Your round will officially begin. Please answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately. Here we go. Allie knows the news. Question number one. There is a new leading goal scorer in the history of the World Cup. What is that man's name?

Um, it is the guy that plays soccer. Yeah. Um, I... Give me the point. All right. It's not T-Pain. It's not T-Pain. It is not T-Pain.

That is correct somehow, in a weird way. Question number two. Let's go with this. I thought that was a gimme. There's a new information from the FBI about a note on the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie, a ransom note, but what is the new information that it was revealed today? That they're sorry, but

she passed away. That she's passed away. We've got a question number three now. There's a special moon up in the sky. It has a certain name and apparently you can see it from certain places. I don't know if Southern California is one of those places.

What is the name of the current moon that people are getting all excited about? Is it a blue moon? Blue Moon. We go to question number four right now. A customer claims that she got herpes after eating food from what fast food chain? Can't go wrong with Arby's. Can't go wrong with Arby's is not their motto.

But yes, I will go ahead and write that down. And finally, question number five. This comedian has pled not guilty to 12 felony charges that he has failed to pay taxes. Which comedian is being investigated as we speak? She is a Spanish gentleman. Want to go with not T-Pain again? Not T-Pain also. Not T-Pain also.

It's a good guess every time. Someone has figured out a way to hack the game. Just answer not T-Pain for every question. And assuming the answer is not T-Pain, you will do better than Allie. All right, we'll bring her in. No answer given. I know you're thinking of the man because you described him. But sadly, you did not give us an answer.

Ali's reentering the KROQ studios now. Say nothing else. Once again, her money up for grabs. If you're thinking to yourself as you're listening to this, I know these answers. I could have gotten at least three right. Well, then tomorrow, what the hell are you waiting for? Call us up and be a part of Ali Knows the News. Someone says that we are purposely screening for people that sound like they don't know the answers.

That is not the case. Trust me, nothing makes us happier than forcing Ali to pay the people. So here she is reentering the KROQ studios right now. And we go to question number one, Allie. Yes. This man is now the leading goal scorer in the history of all World Cup action. Lionel Messi. Messi, Messi, Messi.

That is the correct answer. It wasn't enough for him to get one yesterday. He needed to get two, so congratulations. Where would that team be without him? He also missed a penalty kick. He did miss a penalty kick like a real loser. Right. I'll tell you this.

Everyone's excited about this except Vanessa, who is not a fan. She's not a fan of Messi? No. I'm a fan of him outside of the World Cup. During the World Cup, he is my enemy. I do not care that he might be the greatest of all time. I do not care. You don't even respect the GOATs?

What is wrong with you? Not right now. Right now, he is my enemy because Argentina always wins. We were all getting excited yesterday. And she's like, guys, it's all about Colombia. We were like, no, dude. It's about this guy. We started a Messi chant and an Argentina chant in the back.

And Vanessa refused to join in on the chant. Great. I was going to wear baby blue and white today. We should have done it. If you guys do that, I will be mad. I can't even fake it. We started this chat. We had six people, and then people in the hall, they were going,

Nancy, Nancy. And you heard Vanessa go, Columbia, Columbia. So today, big day for Columbia today, right? Yes. She's got her jersey on. She's ready to go. All right, question number two. Allie is up 1-0 as we go to question number two.

New information from the FBI about a note involving the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie. What was the new information that was revealed? I believe there was an apology for killing her and saying that she is buried somewhere. And then a money offer, if you give me millions of dollars, I'll tell you where she's at. So Christina said that as well. That is the new news that came out is that there was a note that the FBI received. Originally, I don't think they put a lot of credit behind, but it basically said, oopsies, we accidentally killed her. That was not the plan.

I mean, if you're going to do an apology, don't then demand millions of dollars afterwards. Question number three. Allie's up 2-1 right now as we go to question three. There's a special moon apparently up in the sky these days. It's got a certain name. People are all excited about it. What moon is currently looking down on us? Let's just go with beaver moon.

Beaver moon. That's a hilarious guess. She said blue moon, but apparently, guys, we are all missing out on the highly coveted strawberry moon. A strawberry moon? Didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't either. I feel like I hear wolf and beaver. People are flocking to this.

I hear like a new one every year. Strawberry Moon. Well, they got some good PR. Whoever's doing PR for the moon, they're on top of it because they just constantly just keep coming up with names. Rebranding. We got a question four. It's going to be a Pickle Moon, a Pumpkin Spice Moon. Let's go with all the big buzzwords.

Protein Moon. Protein Moon. Oh, man. I'm going to use my Protein Moon. Oh, cool. Protein Moon. Feed Klein's neck. We got a question number four.

A woman claims that she got herpes after eating from what fast food chain? Where could you get herpes? Let's go with Subway. Okay, interesting. Allie says Subway. You know, Christina said Arby's. One of you is right, and it is Arby's. A woman claims after eating at Arby's, she got the herp,

and then they looked at some surveillance footage, and they saw that a worker there had spit into the sandwich. Whoa! You can catch it that way? Apparently, that's how you can get it. It's a good story you should be telling from now on. So, once again, now she's tied it up. This is very exciting.

What a story. I didn't get it from sex. I got it from an Arby's sandwich. You just say sex. I thought you were a dirty slut, but it turns out you just make terrible dietary decisions. We have the herb. Pull that clip. And finally, question number five.

It's all tied up. Very exciting round of Allie Knows the News as we go to this final question. This comedian has just pled not guilty to 12 felony counts of failing to pay his taxes. Yes, I think that would be Carlos Mencia. Ah, she said not T-Pain, so she's right, you're right, but technically Allie's a little more right. It was Carlos Mancilla, also known as Carlos Manstilia, accused of stealing jokes before, but not paying taxes, so it's all on brand. And after all of it, said and done, Christina, you put in a good effort, but sadly, Allie did a little better than you. What must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock?

Allie, you totally know the news. There you go. Thank you for playing. News tomorrow morning around the same time, another chance to take Ali's money. There's a scam that's been happening here at the workplace, and we'll get to the bottom of that next on KROQ. One thing to look forward to today, and one thing that is a complete scam, and our company is setting us up to take a big hit here. But apparently, Vanessa just said behind the scenes that we've received a package from the Gorillaz. Jamie from the Gorillaz, the same Jamie who took my jacket and wore it out of here many months ago.

He didn't take your jacket. You gave it to him. I offered it. You offered to give it to him. You took it off and gave it to him, and he accepted it. Look at me. And it was him trying it on for the first time, and then since then, that jacket's gone on to great fame.

He wore it in a Rolling Stones photo shoot. Went on a world tour. Saturday Night Live. I mean, it's been a while. And then we had him on to ask him about the jacket. He still likes it. He said it's been on a world tour. And he said as he walked out of this room, this was months ago,

he said, send that man something. And every day I check the mail, and there's been nothing. But apparently, Vanessa claims a package has arrived. I have no idea what it is. We don't know the size of it. They're going to get it right now. They're going to find it. It's been put down in the mail room.

Ooh, exciting. Well, I think Vanessa got one of those, like, priority mail alerts. Do we have a mail room? Yeah, it's in the basement, dude. I thought we got rid of the mail room. I thought we couldn't afford postage stamps, so get it out of here. Only for incoming. No, we did get rid of the outgoing mail room because we can't pay for stamps,

but we can still receive mail. What kind of a radio station can't pay for stamps? You can't send out stickers For everyone This is like our MO is sending out crap to people Some listener who's a fan of ours from Orange County They go they want a sticker they can drive here and pick it up I'm like are you serious

Drive from Orange County to pick up this god damn sticker It's crazy But anyway the reality is That's the one thing we're looking forward to today That's good and in a moment we'll open a mystery gift And find out what it is And will it be as good as the jacket that he took from us But on the flip side Allie

I didn't realize, because you guys have been saying for a while now that you've been getting spam emails or scam emails from other employees in the building. Yes, one in particular. Right, Miles the DJ, who is the music director at K-Rock. If you're wondering who decides all that Evanescence and all that Chili Peppers and that weird phase we went through with that country singer.

Honest Dave. No, no, not that one. Honest Dave. That was the wrong one. The country guy that he claimed wasn't country. Oh, that's right. And then we were like, the cover of his album, he's wearing a denim suit and a cowboy hat. I can't remember the guy's name, but regardless, a role model.

Yes, role model. So anyway, long and short of it is, he's been sending these emails out that they all seem weird. And he's been hitting Ali up particularly. But apparently, these are all phishing emails. But our company is behind it to try to catch who works here is an idiot. They're trying to figure out which one of us falls for fake emails. Well, I got an email a while ago, and it's from Miles. And Miles doesn't really email any of us directly.

It's usually an email to the KROQ team about, you know, various programming things. We're sticking with role models. Accept it. More country. He's not country. He sold out the Wiltern. And so he says, hey, Allie, before I submit this, I wanted to make sure we're aligned. Can you reply confirming the approach still works given the timeline constraints we discussed earlier?

thanks. And I was thinking this, this must be the other Allie. Cause there's another Allie that works in this company who does like important things. And I, they send stuff to the wrong Allie all the time. Right. So I just ignore it. And then I get another email a few weeks later that seems a little more dire and says, hi Allie, I need your help with a time sensitive item related to programming. And I can't share the full details right now, but please give me your phone number so we can talk quickly and move things forward today and no one's ever asked you for your phone number ever no and i was like oh my gosh miles wants my phone number wait a minute miles already has my phone number why would he be asking for it but it does seem like he wants to

talk to me and only me you felt important because why would this man reach out and need your help on a time-sensitive matter and he wants to move this forward today how urgent but all the wording of this which is very you know corporate jargon it does sound it sounds like exactly what a scam i've fallen for a lot of scams before but this has all the markings of a scam email right so i decide to send it to our it guy and i'm like hey i think that our like music director miles got hacked i don't know this doesn't seem right because there's just things things are a little off and wayne replies this is the it guy that that they're doing some kind of a company-wide initiative to test us all and see if we can spot the scam emails isn't this crazy our own company

is doing some sort of a weird test where they want to see which one of us are idiots and click on and respond to spam emails and which one of us just ignore them all together which is usually what i do which is what i did the first time i just ignored it right and yeah for you you would ignore regardless of whether it was legitimate right but you actually you're the first person to lose because you did forward the email on and if it's a real scam phishing email then you've now i guess given them access you're not supposed to do anything reply forward on nothing uh no that's not what i'm supposed to do actually um klein he told me what i'm supposed to do what are you supposed to do according to the training modules oh see this is why we had to sit through some

stupid training that none of us paid attention to we just click click click click clearly is by what we're all saying and then we get these emails and apparently this is to test to see if we paid attention and what are you supposed to do you're supposed to reply you're supposed to send a separate email to the actual person with the email and say hey is this you was this sent for reals not forward it not forward yes separate email to that person because if you reply because they said if you look closely odyssey is spelled with six y's and i'm like oh okay i didn't really look at the email address 949 claims that they do this the same exact thing at their company all the time too and it's so annoying because they spend more time now testing employees like testing

the loyalty and to see if the system time for this crap but keep in mind our company got hacked not once but twice and i think paid out millions of dollars of ransom you guys should be testing yourselves you idiots right that's the person that needs to be tested whichever idiot two different times i think the same idiot two different times was like all right i'll click here oh damn we owe another million dollars like two different times wants to talk to me about a time-sensitive yeah i'm a i am a model employee because i don't read any emails i don't read any of them the important ones the scam ones you never have to worry about me clicking a link because i ain't even opening the email jake you got some too didn't you oh yeah you knew it was fake right

away because it's something about like hey i want to pay you i was like what yeah yeah jake jake printed out his email this is the email jake got it said quick payment authorization needed and jake got all excited because like all right i got money coming my way and it says they know how to get us because mine was like your special and Jake's was like, here's your money. Right. Here's what they said to Jake. I'm tied up in a session and need to move quickly on a payment item for

Odyssey. Please send me your personal contact number so I can get you paid right away. So and then there's some BSWWO 4821 code thing, which no one knows what that means. Anyway, they say so Jake got all excited because Jake thought, oh man, I got money coming my way.

Yeah. And why don't they have my payment authorization already? So Jake, what did you do when you got this email. Well, that's why I knew it was fake, because why would they even be wanting to pay me? I got to email the other way. I got to email like, hey, where is my pay? And they're like, scam. Delete. Block.

It's been three weeks. I haven't paid yet. So we're on to you, company. Well, everybody else said that you have no idea how many times companies do this. All the time. Which is apparently one giant scam. Here's not a scam. This sounds too good to be true, but it actually is true. Next hour, we're going to get you on a bus to Santa Barbara to see

this band, and we will get into that coming up later this morning on KROQ Party Bus to Santa Barbara to see that band right there, Royal Otis. Theory about buses is if you have any stories involving being on a bus, probably either a great story or a terrible story. Maybe it was a party bus situation. There's no in between. Concert tour bus situation, all good ones, or public bus transit, or weird hobo that was self-pleasuring and trying to stab you. These stories are either very good or very bad, and we will get to your bus stories later. And someone, just for sharing, will get a good bus

opportunity with Postmaster Johnny to go see Royal Otis and Santa Barbara. That is coming up. The package has been located, Allie, from Gorillas. Is this another scam email? It may be a scam, again, and a lot of people are telling us on the text line that their companies do this all of the time, and that if you

get caught clicking on links from suspicious emails, then you get disciplined by your bosses. Yeah. Somebody said if you click on the fake link more than three times, it goes to your boss, but not sure what kind of consequences happen after that. I was just going to say, what are they going to do here? They're going to say, don't do that.

I would love to respond and be like, here's all my personal information, Miles. You're going to lose the Odyssey points. Start an affair. So you're not going to be able to do it. Oh, no. Not my Odyssey points. I can't cash them in later for a coaster or whatever you get with these stupid things. I'll take a quick break.

We're back in a moment. ADD News. We're going to open this mystery gift from Gorillas and figure out what it is. And perhaps we just give it away immediately. I know it's been sent to me, I think. But you know what? I feel like the audience should get whatever it is. No way.

Why no way? What if it's a piece of art? You can go to our museum. Let's see what it is. Give it to a listener. Hell no. When Allie and I did the fake wedding and Caruso sent us that caviar. That was garbage.

Yeah, I'm happy to give that away. We gave that caviar immediately away to a listener. That's different. This is something for you. We don't know what it is. We don't know. It's a mystery box. We don't even know.

I hope it's something you really like, and then we're going to have to give it away. Hold on, guys. We might want to give this away, because if a client really does love it, it's going to torture them so much. What if it says jacket back? It's a better jacket. What if it's a better jacket? Yeah, we give it away.

Vanessa, how big is the box? I haven't seen it yet. Is it a big box? It's like close medium. Every box is a big box to Vanessa. Small medium. That's good. Vanessa's the wrong person.

It's a small medium box. It's a shoe box. It's a ring. It's massive. Right. Okay. We'll be right back. More show next.

And now it's time for a moment with Kevin. We can write your name down. I'm not going to do the writing because my handwriting is illegible. But L-L- Oh no. Eligibles. You're right. I don't know.

It could be stroking out. That was A Moment with Kevin. The K-Rock Line Alley Show will get into your news. Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. The opening of a mystery box and your bus trip to Santa Barbara with Royal Otis. That's all happening, so get your bus stories ready so we can hear them from you. It will not be a good day for public transit, but it will be a good day for you to share your stories with us and win yourself a bus trip that you'll never forget on the K-Rock Party Bus to Santa Barbara.

Right now, though, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. The World Cup has made a lot of fans happy. In Boston, they predict there will be a baby boom in nine months because of all the Boston women that are sleeping with charming, drunk Scottish guys. But in Argentina, or any fans of Argentina, have probably had some celebratory sex as well after this happened.

This was Messi's second goal in the game yesterday against Austria. Messi scored both goals in the game, and he is now the highest scoring player in World Cup history with 18 goals total. Last time I played the Spanish broadcast. This time I will play the English broadcast. It is very proper broadcast. He's got the velvet slippers on the little fella.

Here come Argentina. Brilliant ball by Messi. Julio Alvarez, good save. Here's the chance for Paredes. He tees up Messi. Is this another one? Lionel Messi. There's the block.

And Messi again. Hudson. Lionel Messi in the double. Argentina get the win And the little magic man gets his second goal of the game The great man scores again The little man in the white boots Might be on his way to the golden boot in 2026

And it's his day again in Big D Man In Big D I think I could win the gayest thing said this month He's got the little white boots Why do they keep mocking his height? The little man The little magic man

I'm like, why are you doing this? I'll tell you why. Because it's like Vanessa said. It's like soccer fans like him, but they also hate him because he's not playing for their team. He seems so likable. He's the biggest threat. And his little celebratory, like he puts his arms out and he puts his shoulders forward. He kind of does like a shimmy with his shoulders.

He's got a great celebratory run. A lot of people think I look like Messi, so I take that as a fact. You do not look like Messi. I hear it all the time. Maybe they're just saying Messi in general. No, no, no. They say that I resemble Messi in every possible way. There's a bobblehead of him at the grocery store by some beer display.

It looks like your actual height. And my kids thought it was me. You mean the bobbleheads that have no neck? That's right. Got it. Just a head on a bobblehead. They said, Dad, is that you? It doesn't look like you.

You look like all bobbleheads. I said, that's Messi. But a lot of people confused. If I walked around in a Messi jersey around the streets of L.A., I think a lot of people would. Well, this is the time to do it. Well, maybe he's not playing over here. He would just be walking around in his jersey in L.A.

There's no way people would think that you're him. Yeah. There's a ton of, you know, FIFA fan zones all over L.A. You got to go to one and do that. I don't know if Argentina is ever going to be playing, but if Argentina is playing in L.A., you need to do that. You know the guy who stands on Hollywood and Highland who kind of looks like Michael Jordan, but not really,

but he's there taking pictures with people as Jordan, wearing a Jordan jersey. No, never seen that. That guy's there a lot. You should do that. I could do that. It's me, Michael Jordan. Just wear different jerseys and see who people think you look like.

What was that voice? It's just a regular. Hi, I'm Michael Jordan. I'm Michael Jordan. Okay. But I'm saying I could do that maybe as a Messi. I could be a Messi impersonator. I don't know who told you that, but they are wrong.

You do not look like him. I think he does. Put a side-by-side, Justin, on the YouTube. I'm telling you, I hear it all the time. And I'm not saying that Messi's a good-looking guy by any stretch of the imagination, but I have. I don't think he's a good-looking guy either, but I don't think he's who you look like. Thank you, Allie. Thanks for that.

Vanessa, you know soccer, football. Do I look like Messi? No, Klein, you don't. Yeah. You don't look like him. Is my desk messy? Your desk is messy, yes. So there you go.

I think they're just saying you look messy. Maybe that's what I'm doing. Maybe you just missed the like part. Maybe bone structure, you know? It is amazing, though, that he's able to kick through everyone's legs like that. I mean, it was like six different people he kicked through their legs. That's why Vanessa's such a fan. Yeah.

I am not. Yeah, she's not right now. Today is day one of Prime Day. It's happening earlier than normal because it usually doesn't happen until July. But 9 out of 10 people say they will buy something during Prime Day. However, the sales are not as good as they normally are. So here's my advice to you. People claim that they need 30% off or more to have enough incentive to buy something.

The average sale right now is between 20% and 23%. You can hold out for the next day or two. Yeah, sure, you can add stuff to your cart. But they're probably going to lower the prices even more if over the next day or two, people aren't buying. So if you wait, they notice, ah, they're not getting the sales. They'll lower the prices even more. So if we all hold out together, we can save more money. Today, though, if you want 50% off an Oura ring, you can add that to your cart.

Or 40% off a towable boating tube. Oh, man, really? Yeah, aren't those so cool? I've got to get one of them towable tubes. This one has USA all over it, like USA flag. I'm never going to have boat money. $214, regularly $350. Oh, it's still that much for a tube?

$215. Yeah, 40% off. Oh, it's way more than I would have thought that would have cost. I got tubes for free, man. You thought it was going to be like cheaper. Yeah, I thought about, yeah, I assume that's like, you know, like I'm not going to ever have a boat, but I could have a tube. If anyone had a boat, I could be like, I'll bring my tube.

We can attach it to your boat. You know, speaking of tubes, I know, Jake, you are getting ready for your annual float up in Seattle. Yeah, yeah. So, this is just a little cautionary tale. This woman was doing a float on the Colorado River in an inner tube, and now she is fighting for her life because a boat ran into her. There were two boats that were in, like, it was kind of a crowded area. She was just floating along.

You can't super control which direction you're floating. You're just kind of there. And this boat hit. It was a boating collision, and this woman was a part of the collision. She got struck by a boat while floating down the river, and she sustained major injuries as a result of that collision. So you've got to be careful out there, Jakey. There's no boats on my river. At all? There's no boats allowed?

It's not big enough for boats. Yeah, it's a sad—Jake showed me a picture of it. It looks like a little creek. It's like a sad little creek. Oh, really? It's not sad. It's beautiful. It's pretty sad. Are you the only floater, or do you run into other people? Eventually, I run into other people, but I start up my secret trail, so the first, like, three hours, I'm by myself. Oh, my God.

Yeah, it sounds... That sounds Boresville. It's sick. Okay. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now. I'm just imagining that silence

is just deafening. Oh, jeez. There's water. And the only sound is like, opening another beer. Yeah, just another Jake talking to his dog.

No, the dog doesn't go. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now. Here we go. This is the world famous J-Rock. It's unanimous on the text line

that most people agree that I look nothing like Messi. You say that, Messi has a dog named Senior Hulk. You kind of look alike a little bit.

So they're saying I maybe look a bit like Messi's dog. 626 said you've got little feet like him. Some of your feet kind of look alike. All right,

we'll go with that then. I'm going to take a picture of this bobblehead at the grocery store. 909, you look like a gay version of Messi. Great.

Thank you. Messi b-hole. We get into this hour of the show right now. Good morning. Klein Alley Show. Nice to meet you. I'm Klein.

There's Alley. That is DJ Omar Khan right there. Jake's a nerd. We've got Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa taking the calls in the back. 800-520-1067. This hour on the show, going to get you on that bus to Santa Barbara. See some Royal Otis.

Postmaster Johnny will be camp counselor. It's a party bus. And looking for your bus stories, good, bad, or otherwise. Because usually if you have a story that involves you on a bus, it could have been great. It could be like a Rosa Parks situation. Or it could be a bad bus story altogether. Could it be a Rosa Parks situation? Well, that's probably the best bus story there is.

It's the most historic one. We talk about it still to this day. It's the most influential bus story. Yeah, absolutely. For sure. But then there's the time that a guy tried to sit on your lap on a Greyhound, which is not a great story. I was passed a love note from a homeless guy on a bus one time. Yeah, so there you have it.

Which was very sweet. Vanessa claims when she was a kid, she has a traumatic bus story that happened to her where she grew up. So this happened last week? This happened last week. No, this happened when I was little. So this was two weeks ago. Which is now. And she claims that she had to basically jump and roll off of a moving bus.

Whoa. Crazy. Real story, real story. So we'll get into your bus stories to get you onto our bus so you can go see some Royal Otis. That'll be coming up later this hour on the show. And in a moment, get that mystery box in here. This was sent to us. Just arrived in the mail.

So stoked. What will it be? We're talking about that girl with Vanessa? Yeah. It's our intern. We have an intern today. Hello, intern. That's the mystery box.

Welcome to Radio Rock Pine Alley Show. We've all seen quite a few unboxing videos in our day. And spoiler alert, it's usually just more skin care products, ladies. You love watching the unboxing of skin care products, right? And those little Russian kids unboxing stuff. Oh, the Russian kids with the toys. God, I know they're doing something. They're stealing our information.

They're definitely subliminal messaging us. They're definitely setting my kids up for they're going to turn on me at some point in the near future. They already did. That's true. We're going to have to talk about what they did to you yesterday. I don't want to get it. The pranking my family is completely... I love that you got so mad.

I know, right? I would have been proud of my kid. You don't do that, all right? It's not funny. I got pranked by a child, and I fell for it. So, yeah, I am mad, Allie. We'll get to that. But right now...

Prepare to be surprised. This is a long time coming, and it is a present that has arrived, a box that has arrived in the mail from Jamie of Gorillaz. Of course, you know, Gorillaz have been on K-Rock for many, many years, and Coachella, and I'm sure you love their music,

And then they came in our studio, I don't know, Allie, what was it, four months ago? Seems like a while ago. Something like that, yeah. They were promoting their new album and tour. And Jamie, who does all the graphics and animation for the Gorillaz, very well-respected guy. He does all, like, original animation stuff. And he was admiring Klein's jacket. And Klein decided to give him his jacket, which he proceeded to wear.

He offered it up right away. He took his jacket right off of his back and gave it to Jamie. And Jamie had a field day with it. He said he took the jacket on a world tour. It's his favorite jacket. and he said he was going to send something in return. And then he never did. And then he never did.

So then we tracked him down again and we said, hey, how's that jacket treating you? He said, great. It's a bit smelly. I haven't taken it off pretty much since I left the K-Rock Studios. And it was on, as Ali said, Saturday Night Live and New York Times and pretty much any press they did, including them going on other radio shows around the country and around the world. I'm like, that's my jacket.

Yeah, he really loved it. And it even looked like they were selling a similar jacket on the Gorillaz website. Yeah, they were. It was the same, like, bomber green jacket. But he said there was something about this one. He tried it on. He said this was meant for me. And I looked at a picture of him in it, and I said, you're goddamn right.

Looks good on him. Looks good on you. But we did call him a few weeks ago to say, just so you know, if you sent us something, we never received it. Which is a great move. Just want to let you know. I don't know. I don't want to miss it. Yeah, we just want to make sure you didn't send anything.

And he goes, no, no, no, I'm going to get right on that. And apparently now the box has arrived. So whenever you're ready to bring in the box, this is, who knows, Allie, if it's good. Do you think it will be overwhelming, underwhelming, or no one will care? I don't know if it'll be overwhelming, but I think it'll be cool. What would be really cool is if he actually drew something for you or gave you some kind of a one-of-a-kind item. It looks like it was wrapped by him.

It looks like it was written. I mean, it's handwritten. A handwritten. Your address. It's a nice-sized box. How heavy is it? I'm going to tell you right now. How many jackets are in there?

It feels like it's about 10 pounds. Okay. Does it rattle? Do you hear it? Yeah, shake it, shake it. There's nothing in there. It feels like it's packed tight. Tight box.

Nice tight box, the way Allie likes it. Yeah. Dude, what if it's drugs? And there's a lot of tape. It definitely looks like it was taped by hand as well. Yeah, this, listen, I don't know what it, hold on, I'm just going to do this right here. This could be a real letdown. Could be a letdown.

We don't know what it is. You want to place your bets as to what you think it is? You think jacket? Oh, God. Oh, boy. What is it? What would be the most, what would be the best thing and what would be the worst thing? Is it the worst thing?

A plushie. Is it a plushie? A gorilla's plushie? In your opinion, what would be the best thing would be, Jake believes it's going to be. The worst thing would be a jacket. I think that's lame. Would the worst thing be my jacket back? That would be kind of funny.

Especially if he's stunk. Jake was hoping, and Jake got me very excited saying he thinks it will be a one of a kind piece of gorilla's artwork. Yeah. It's so sick. Even if he just drew on a napkin, that would be amazing. A sketch from Jamie Gorillaz that we could immediately put on display here at K-Rock. Frame. Sign.

And I believe his quote was, when he left here, he said, send him something nice. Is that what he said? Yeah, yeah. What is it, chocolates? You seem a little disappointed. Is it a blanket? What the hell is that? It's a Gorillaz sweatshirt.

It's a Gorillaz hoodie, probably from the merch shop. Aww. He sent you merch. He sent you merch. That's funny. And up. This is the jacket. This is their version.

Their jacket. That's cool. This is their version of, let's see what this looks like. Oh, you're not going to wear that, but that's cool. What size is it? It's got a bunch of patches on it. It looks enormous. This is the one.

Okay, so this is, this was kind of, look at this. This is the gorilla's jacket. Yeah, all right. It's got the patches on it, the bomber. Everyone seems disappointed here. Well, drawing on a napkin would have taken less effort. Whoa, that's fire. It's like a full circle.

You got your jacket back. That's a cool jacket, though. Look at that. Yeah, bud. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Huh?

It's a little... I mean, you're right, Ally. I'm not going to wear this. Yeah, I know. You kind of look like a tool. Thank you. Man, you buffed out so much, like, the clothing doesn't fit you anymore. Yeah, it's like, you know, Channing Tatum and those guys, when they wear regular clothes,

they look weird. Hey, this is cool. I appreciate that. Regardless, thank you for... Regardless of the fact that we like it. Maybe there's a sketch in the pocket. Try on that little army sweater. There's nothing in the...

Now, we'll give this away to listeners. That's fine. But thank you for sending that, Gorillaz. Now, this is a full circle moment. Maybe you'll look good in the sweatshirt. I know. We're not going to try that on now. We can't possibly.

We have to give away the bus trip in a moment. Thank you. That was nice of him to send stuff, though. Yeah. Let's give that away. But it's also like he was just like, yeah, get this guy something. Right, right, right.

It felt... That was definitely put together by an intern. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Summer intern's first job. There's a sad radio guy in L.A. Sadest guy. Hey, I've got a job for you.

This annoying man in L.A. keeps hitting me up. Just send him something. Anything will do. I think it's great. Thank you, gorillas. What a long, wonderful relationship you have. All right. We've got to take a break.

We'll get back in a moment. Your stories, bus stories, will result in you winning a bus trip. Good or bad. Good or bad. Your stories could be epic, could be times you almost died on a bus. Vanessa's going to kick things off, but the times she almost died on a bus. Crazy story. We'll get to that next.

And yours, 800-520-1067. Funner summer rolling on here at KROQ. We'll prove that to you in a moment when we get you on the KROQ party bus, Santa Barbara. See Royal Otis outside of our studio right now. We have burgers being prepared. Apparently, LA Burger Week is officially here. So we have got all the vibes of summer, the smells of sizzling hamburgers outside the studios right now. And, Allie, the timing couldn't be better because would you look at this?

We just got this yesterday. If you remember during our last menu redo with a place called Burgers 3000, which is a smash burger place that they have around Southern California, we gave them a few ideas. And one of the ideas we gave them was for a concept called the Burger Bib. Move the bib away from lobster. Move it over to a food that could actually use a bib, which is burgers. And this is the first prototype.

I'm going to hold this up for everyone to see right now. This is the first official prototype that they've put together. It's a real show-and-tell show today. Klein Alley show logo on it. It's got their logo, and they're working on it. It's a little big. It looks kind of like the bib you'd wear at a dentist if they're going to take x-rays. I think that they made it bigger after they saw your neck.

Oh, is that why? Yeah, because I think you can just barely fit it around your neck. I actually cannot. It's too small for me, but for the average person. I mean, it kind of defeats the purpose because it's so big that it kind of goes really far down your chest. I like it because it is going to protect your lower region of your shirt. I mean, this is a great deal. One, the one advice I would have is if we're going to make more of these for people would be there, like be a pocket for French fries, maybe in the bib. I know. Look at yourself. Are you happy with your life choices?

I feel great. I feel great. I feel great now that we are part of a solution. Do you have this idea? Yeah, I do. I think the burger bib, I mean, this one, as I said, is a prototype, but if it becomes more common, accepted by, you know, average people, I think a lot of shirts would be saved and a lot more people would enjoy burgers. As long as other idiots do it. I'm not going to be the one guy wearing a bib there, but I'm saying once, you know,

you see a couple people have the bib on, you look around and you put a bib on. A lot of those lobster bibs are disposable. Right, that's right. This one you have to wash. This one feels a little bit like a big baby. And you know how actually it feels a little bit like that because it looks exactly like that. I feel like a big baby. Do you make boom boom?

Yeah, I did actually. But that was before we. But I'm excited that this actually happened. This is just the first prototype of the burger. So maybe we'll wear them later today when we eat burgers in here. Maybe. Anyway, excited. And welcome to Burger Week Los Angeles.

Very exciting time to be alive. All right. We got people on the phone now. They all claim they have bus stories. 800-520-1067. You share with us your bus story, good, bad, or otherwise. We get you on our party bus to Santa Barbara to see Royal Otis. 310 wanted to let us know on the text line that one time they were on a city bus, realized that it would explode if it drove under 55 miles an hour.

Oh, great movie. But oddly, Sandra Bullock was also on the bus, and then he ended up developing a huge crush on her. Ah, that makes sense. I don't know if this is Keanu Reeves texting us directly or if it's just a listener being funny, But regardless, that is a bus story that would be worthy of a new bus trip for you to go to Santa Barbara. You know, 310 said I ran for student government and my slogan was get on the Gus bus. And I was elected president at Santa Monica High School. Hey, there you go.

Get on the old Gus bus. What a slogan right there. Vanessa, would you like to share with us your story? And then we'll get to these calls at 800-520-1067. Good, bad or otherwise, your bus stories result in you getting on the K-Rock party bus to Santa Barbara for Royal Otis. Yes, when I lived in Colombia, when I was seven at the time, we were at the bus with my mom. And in Colombia, you could just press the button and the bus will stop anywhere. There's no bus stops anymore.

Like, back in the day, there were no bus stops. I think there is bus stops now. I don't know. Anyways, my mom pressed the button. Is this a school bus? You were on a school bus? So many facts about the bus stop. No, it was city bus.

City bus. Yes, city bus. And it'll just keep going and going until you press a button. Yes, like you can press it wherever you need to get off. And they stop immediately? Yes. Even in the middle of the street? If that's where you need to get off.

So what happened? So my mom pressed the bus, and she was able to get off, but I didn't get off on time, and the bus just continued, and I was on the bus. My mom was holding my hand, and she was running with the bus, and then everyone's like, stop, there's still a kid. And then I just jumped. And you're like, I'm 33. I'm 33.

I'm a visiting tourist. So your mom got off the bus, left you on the bus. and she ran alongside the bus. Yeah, and then I just jumped off because the bus was not stopping. I was like, I don't want to get kidnapped. Boom, jumped off. The first thing you thought was that you were going to get kidnapped?

People back in the day would get kidnapped a lot. On the bus. That's Vanessa's biggest fear, tsunamis and being kidnapped. Still to this day, by the way. So if there's a kid lone on the bus, they're 100% getting kidnapped? Maybe. Wow.

So you jumped off and then you did like a tuck and roll kind of thing? I don't know. I did definitely roll. I was his kid. I don't know. I made it. I made it. I was like, whoa.

So there you have it. Just a bus story. I don't know if that's good, bad, or otherwise, but it could have resulted in you getting invited onto our bus to Santa Barbara for Royal Otters. Hey, we start with David. David, your bus story. Go ahead. Good morning, guys.

So I was on a Greyhound bus on my way to Northern California. We ended up stopping at a prison to pick up inmates that got released. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, so one of the inmates sat next to me. Anyway, he was coughing the whole way we were there. So I got to my final destination, and I ended up getting spinal meningitis. Oh, my God.

Oh, man. You're on a grand bus already. Not a great start to the story. Then you go, by the way, we're making a quick stop to pick up some inmates. But don't worry, they've been released. Dude. Guy gets next to you. They just let them get on the grand bus?

Like, hey, we're picking them all up at once. Yeah, of course. Damn. So that must be... He was coughing the whole way we were there and I was just like, oh my God, this guy, I don't know. And I was kind of like, I was 18 at the time so I was a little nervous.

I didn't want to like, I don't know what he would do. But anyway, I ended up in a coma for a week. I had dialysis. It was gnarly. And they're pretty convinced that you got these meningitis from the escape or the released inmates? I mean, pretty much.

That's what I told the doctor and he said, yeah, you probably got it from the inmates. So that's the only thing I can think of. I mean, that's kind of one of the better things that could happen in that scenario, though, right? I mean, there's a bunch of prisoners that just got released onto a Greyhound bus, and all you got was spinal meningitis? Not too bad. Prisoners are like, I've got to kill this guy, but I can't have it traced back to me.

I'll kill him slow. Kill him slow. Just give him his germs. All right, well, that is some bus story. All right. We move on now, and we say hi to Ryan. Ryan, your bus stories, KROQ 800-520-1067. Someone's going to get on the party bus to go see Royal Lotus Santa Barbara.

What's up, Ryan? Sweet tips, guys. Sweet tips. for my 26th birthday I was on my way on a party bus to the perch and I had

way too many shots to even make it to the bar and I threw up and I was just sitting right next to this guy I had a huge crush on

and it got all over oh you threw up on a girl on a party bus yeah went too many shots and the shot that I had was a gorilla fart

it was called a gorilla fart yeah it's a cardi 151 and wild turkey oh god that is such a disgusting combination. Named appropriately.

So you said, give me that shot of gorilla fart. I'll take it. I'm a real man. And then you ended up throwing... That's a little impressor. Hey, hey. The way I can down gorilla fart. You want to watch this girl get turned on? Give me a gorilla fart. Straight up. Oh, hold on.

I'm on top of that. A few years later, she ended up getting married, so she could have been the one that got away. Oh, man. If only it wasn't for that gorilla fart shot. She didn't get away when you threw up on her. We say hi to Kathy on KROQ. Good morning, Kathy.

Your bus stories, good, bad, or otherwise. Someone's going to get back on a bus. This time it's a K-Rock Party bus to Santa Barbara. What's up, Kathy? I was living in Germany, and they really followed the rules on the bus there. And these two little boys who are about 10 would not move for an older person. And so the bus driver pulled them up to their house and locked them to the front door and pulled them in front of the whole bus.

He got off of the bus and told them that if they ever do that again, and they never get to ride on this bus again. Whoa. The Germans like the rules, Allie. They really stick to the rules. Oh, yes, I know. I'm still getting mail from them with the ticket violations that I had

when I was driving in Germany. They're never going to let that go. Jason, your bus story, good, bad, or otherwise. What's up? Hey, shout out, NetBangers. I was on a bus back from Vegas. Took about eight and a half hours for some reason. AC broke, and the very large woman sitting next to me

decided it was too hot for her shirt. So the woman next to you on the bus back from Vegas, which was 8 1⁄2 with no AC, took her shirt off? Oh, yeah. And was that like skin and sweat touching you, obviously, because those seats are pretty tight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't a good situation. All right, well, that's not going to be happening on the K-Rock party bus to Santa Barbara. Or is it?

Or is it? Good point. Brandon on K-Rock, what's your bus story? Hey, good morning, sweet dibs. Sweet dibs. So I was on the bus from L.A. to SF to see a situation ship. And at the first rest stop, I wasn't paying attention, and I got left behind. Oh, man.

When you got off the bus to, like, stretch your legs or whatever? Yeah, I wanted to get some snacks, take a leak, and I lost track of time. I saw the craziest thing while taking a leak. I looked over under the stall, and there's a dude cleaning poop with his pants. You had to stick around to see it, obviously. Sure, I get it. I'm digging in sites. Yeah.

Where was that? I called my mom. What city was this in? To save me. This was, like, right before Bakersfield. I couldn't tell you the name of the town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you had to get picked up by your mom because your bus stranded you in Bakersfield?

Yeah. All right, all right, all right, Allie. I feel like they don't, you know, it's kind of, as an adult, it's your responsibility to make sure you're present when the bus leaves. you know like when you're a kid it's like you got to do the roll call you got to make sure everyone's putting your hand up and make sure you don't lose anybody so you don't get sued zero f's given they don't care they say we're leaving we're leaving in six minutes if you're not on this thing just moving on without you i don't get paid more or less to leave you or pick

you up uh suzy we give you the final word ali we got to decide which one of these people deserves a spot on the k-rock party bus to santa barbara what's up good morning um so when i first moved to arizona the first night that i had my job i was working swing and i fell asleep on the way home i got two hours on a bus ride out of the way and when i finally got to the transit mall i had to wait for seven hours for my best friend to get off of work to come and get me falling asleep otherwise i would have had to work like i would have had to walk like six hours yeah there's no there's no uh the problem is when you sleep on that bus everyone goes great They're sleeping.

They're not going to cause any problems. No one's going to stab you while they're sleeping. So let them sleep. And then no one wakes you up. And then you realize you're two hours past where you need to be. I mean, that is a solid bus nap. Two hours? There's a lot more here.

We could go with these stories all day. But we've heard quite a few people that have had bus stories. Most of them bad, if you're keeping track. Very few good bus stories. Yeah, you know, I do feel bad for the guy who got spinal meningitis from a newly released prison inmate. That's a pretty bad story. Yeah, that story's going to be tough to beat. He was in a coma.

He was on a Greyhound. They're already just saying we're going to stop and pick up some just-released prisoners. But don't worry. I'm sure they won't be contagious and sit right next to you. Sir, you went into a coma. You got spinal meningitis from a just-released inmate. But now it's all worth it because you're going to go see Royal Otis in Santa Barbara on a bus. And whoever sits next to that guy, please don't cough on him.

It's going to be very triggering, I'm sure. This is K-Rock. We're your Klein Alley Show. This is Pierce the Veil, if you care. This is K-Rock. We're your Klein Alley Show. In 20 minutes, you'll have another chance to win those seats on the bus to go see Royal Otis. If you weren't able to get through for the bus stories a moment ago, don't worry.

Another chance at 9 a.m. again at noon, 3 and 6. Plenty of chances to win. Plus, we'll get you in to see Matt Rife at the Greek. Right now, though, it's time to solve the Internet's biggest riddles and mysteries. Internet design, two reasons and two reasons only. Clickbait and masturbate. We can only do one of them on the radio. It's time for clickbait.

Here we go. Start with this one. According to new research, Ali, this is the rudest thing that you are probably doing when you are at a grocery store checkout. According to checkers, this is the rudest thing that people are doing. And you may not even realize what you're doing is rude, but boy, do they hate it. What is the rudest thing you're doing when you are checking out at a grocery store, Ali? After you put your things on the belt, you're not putting that little divider down. No divider.

No one cares about that. No, you're saying no plastic bar to break up your order from the person behind you. Right. You're just saying figure it out yourself. Okay. Allie believes that's the rudest thing according to checkers. They're very annoyed by something that we're all doing. Can I change mine?

Yeah, your first answer sucks, so sure. Okay, all right. When you don't help the bagger bag. When you don't help the bag. When you don't help them bag. I didn't know you could get a worse answer, and somehow you did. You replaced your bad answer with an even worse answer. It's not a bad answer.

I hate it when people are just there. They let everything pile up. Their bags are just sitting there, and that's going to take so much longer. I don't know. And they just sit there and wait for everybody else to do it for them. Just help them. I haven't read the answer yet, but I would imagine that they probably hate that more than you not helping is helping. I think trying to help.

But it does seem like every grocery store is short-staffed. Yes, just bag your groceries. The little baggers can't go, yeah. There's always one adult, usually slow, and they are the responsible for it. The person just sits there and waits for that person to load up all their groceries, even though it takes 20 minutes. They're always saying, like, where's Todd? And then Todd is moving. And then sometimes they get halfway done, and then they walk away.

Yep. So just help them bag. Allie claims it's not helping bag is the rudest thing. Jake, give us a better answer. I would say it's either having them put in, like, a promo code for you, like, because you don't have your discount card, or either wearing headphones. Oh, great answers. Thank you. That actually is a better answer.

Omar, what is the... Not giving them a discount promo code? No, asking them to do the card for you because I don't have my code. I don't have my coupon. Most of the time, you just enter the phone number now, Jake. What is the rudest...

Jake's very behind on the times. What is the rudest... Can I give you my promo code for Vons? You don't have your number. Can you just enter the thing for me? How do you not have your number? There's a pad there. All right, Jake, your answers suck too.

Omar, what is the rudest thing that you can do According to checkers at grocery stores. I've been guilty of this, and I hate when I've done it, but sometimes you get distracted on reading an email or Instagram or whatever, and you make the line stop. Yeah, you're just on your stop. You're not taking attention. They're just waiting for you because it's your turn now.

They've done their job. Now it's your turn to pay or whatever. You're just looking down. All good answers, but the thing that bothers them the most, they claim, is when you leave all your stuff in the basket and just let the basket ride on the belt to them, and they've got to then sort it out all at once. What?

Who the hell does that? Yeah, they say that that is the... That's the stupidest answer. Well, that's the answer they gave. You just put a basket on the belt? Yep. And they say that's one of the rudest things people do. Rather than just lay it all out,

just spoil your wares. Yeah, why wouldn't you lay it all out? Why are you making them pick through everything? I lay it out. It's a tiny basket. I like to pretend like I'm a caveman, and this was my hunt. I'll have to show everything I've put out there.

Look what I've put together here. Look at my harvest. Look at my harvest. Whole wheat bread. Look at this bouncy of Lucky Charms. And protein honey. We move on to the next one in Clickbait. Thank God.

Here we go. That one was terrible. This is a sign that the person you are talking to or dating is actually incredibly intelligent. And it's not what you think. a sign that the person that you are talking to and or dating and or working with is actually incredibly intelligent and it's not what you think.

So obviously you think glasses. Yeah, that's what makes people smart. Right, they got glasses. They must be a smart nerd. But the amount of glasses means you're a perv. Right, so it's not what you think. Well, what is it, Allie? It's when you don't talk about your job.

Person does not talk about their job at all. Yeah, they don't talk about their job career. I think if you're dumb and you're trying to make up for something, you're like, oh, by the way, I do A, B, and C. and you don't feel like you need to brag about everything. But I feel like really smart people, they're like, oh, yeah, by the way, I'm a rocket scientist.

They don't really talk about it. Yeah, they never mention it. Right. They're not flexing. As opposed to all the people in L.A. that are, quote, producers that talk about it every time. I'm an entrepreneur. Right.

I invented coasters, the toasters for your feet. Oh, that's my idea. Toasters. Kick your feet up on the table when you take a seat. Toasters, the coasters for your feet. that's intelligence Jake what's the answer they're wearing a cardigan

only smart people wear cardigans how do you know you're dealing with a smart person is that what you think Omar I mean I think anybody who's very inquisitive and very curious and asks a lot of questions is you know a giant sign of intelligence

well according to this intelligent people have two things in common with each other. Cardigans and glasses? It's not cardigans and glasses. Oh, I want to change my answer. Go ahead.

One of those smoking pipes. Oh, yes. That's a good one, too. Smart people have pipes. Yeah. Intelligent people are a combination of socially awkward and sensitive.

A monocle. Sensitive and a monocle. Hello. More coffee? No, no, not for me. I have a pipe. Sensitive to sounds. Intelligent people, for whatever reason, have a strong sensitivity to sounds.

Because they go, mmm. Right. And they're socially awkward. Ah. So we all, based on that information, we all potentially are very intelligent. Who knew? Okay. Is that it?

Yeah, we've got to take a break. Oh, boo. Sadly. We're all. The burgers smell great. More intelligent conversation with this group of idiots next on KROQ. The KROQ Line Alley Show, let's get into your news. In a brand new hour, the show will officially begin

with your tickets to hop on the KROQ Party Bus in Santa Barbara for Royal Otis and all these shenanigans you can look forward to with Postmaster Johnny as your camp counselor for that little excursion. And I know it's hard to tell the difference between Postmaster Johnny and the members of Royal Otis, so that'll be the first game you play and the last game you play. It's the only game we have planned right now. You can go ahead and choose your own adventure if you win that trip,

and that'll be coming up in about three minutes. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Nancy Guthrie went missing February 1st. That means it has been almost five months and there has been no sign of her. It is one of the most tragic cases of the year. They assume by this point that she is probably no longer alive. And unfortunately, they're now releasing some details about other ransom notes they received early on.

They said they got a note a while back that basically said Nancy Guthrie was no longer alive. and the people who kidnapped her didn't mean to kill her and that she died shortly after her disappearance. There was, at one point, a note that said, time is no longer of the essence. And another part of the note that said, she is buried with nature. They also went on to ask for money in exchange

for revealing the location of her body. But, of course, every time the Guthries want to pay a ransom, there's no information on how to pay the ransom or who to pay the ransom to. So they have put out so many videos and statements saying please kidnappers reach out to us we are happy to work with you and they have not been able to get in touch with them savannah also gave another statement this morning saying we are begging for your help she said they they're still offering the 1.1 million dollar reward

for any information leading to her recovery and convictions of the people who were responsible for this and she said please do the right thing for us for our family and for our children You know, it's obviously a very sad story for a million reasons, but I feel like the kidnappers remind me very much of Steve Buscemi and that big goon in Fargo. They're definitely the dumbest criminals ever. Yeah, right. They, like, didn't do, this was planned terribly. They're like, oh, we'll just take her, get a quick meal, call it a day. And, like, they had no plan in place.

And now they're like, oh, man, we really screwed up. And now, of course, they go to jail for the rest of their lives or death penalty. I don't really know what the rules are in Arizona. Probably death penalty, I would imagine. But if you're responsible for a murder. And so as a result, now you've got a couple of like bumbling idiots that try to. Yeah, but still they're smart enough to not get caught yet. Well, they haven't been caught yet.

Because there's been no way to contact them. Right. But that's where they're eventually, I would imagine, they just, it seems like they seem really stupid and bad at what they did. Or they're just appearing that way. But it seems like there's a lot of different ransom notes that were sent to, there were some sent to TMZ. There were some that were sent to different news outlets. Like local TV stations in Arizona. It's just all very strange.

And then I think the main problem is that they thought they could find a way for them to be paid in Bitcoin without it being traced, but they can trace it. Of course. So now they're like, oh, crap, we don't even have a way to collect ransom. Hey, Jake, when you drive to Arizona later to check out that Buc-ee's, you can maybe... I'm driving to Arizona. Yeah, we're going to figure this out, but I think you're going to go. I think you're going to go. Five-hour and 35-minute trip, but while you're there, maybe...

I'm going to have fun, Klein. You're the guy who's got the problem with Buc-ee's, dude. I told you you'd love the idea. He's going to love it. We'll get into that next hour. Jake could have another tantrum on the show today, just warning you guys. It's that time of year where people are buying and selling illegal fireworks. And in other states, it is legal to buy them.

And there's no better advertisement for your fireworks stand than your fireworks stand exploding and putting on an incredible show, which happened on the side of a freeway. An explosive scene in Oklahoma. Oh, my gosh. A firework stand up in flames, colorful flashes, and plenty of bangs lighting up the sky on the side of the road. The unplanned pyrotechnics, a scary show for those driving by. By the way, the woman in that video says, Alex, I want to get out of here. And I guarantee Alex did not want to get out of here. What are you talking about?

Get out of here. We got a front row seat to mayhem. Alex is like, Jen, damn it. I want to stay and watch this. But then I feel like, what a great ad, right? If you actually get to see them shoot off and then that same person sets up a new fireworks stand, you're like, okay, I got to get that. Of course. Now you can see what they look like in action.

I mean, that's an amazing. I mean, looking at the videos, and I don't really give a crap about fireworks. When you see it go off unexpectedly, like unexpected fireworks show is way better than planned fireworks show. Those are not the safe and sane varieties for sure. No, definitely not. How fast can you walk a mile? Health experts have revealed how fast you should be able to walk a mile, depending on your age. Two hours and 36 minutes.

So long. I think you'd be walking backwards at that point. Even if you were walking a 5K, you should probably be able to do it in, I don't know, an hour? Why would anyone choose to walk a mile? I've walked a mile many times. Just go, hey, why don't I walk there? It's a good exercise. Whenever someone says, I say, how far is that?

They go, three blocks. I go, well, I guess I'll be driving there. So a mile seems like much further. In your 20s and 30s, you should be able to walk a mile in 13 to 19 minutes at a brisk pace of 4.6 miles per hour. And I've been on many... That's running. That is running. If I'm going over four miles an hour on a treadmill, I'm jogging.

How can anyone walk that fast? No, they're using the term incorrectly. I mean, this is once again, that's not walking. Walking means you're doing it at a nice leisurely pace. how fast do you think you could walk a mile for real like trying to do a good time or just a standard walk my regular walk 40 minutes does that seem too much not true i don't know give me a real answer i'm giving that's a real answer 40 minutes i could do it you can't you can do it less than that you can do it probably like 18 minutes i would guess oh if i'm walking at a casual pace

i'm usually at like 19 or 20 minutes which according to this is at about a 70 year old or older's pace. Oh, my God. So where's my 40-minute guess? That's not even an option. A 70-year-old can walk a 20-minute mile at a three-and-a-half miles per hour pace. When you're in your 60s,

you should be able to walk one between 16 and 18 minutes. In your 50s, 15 to 17 minutes. And in your 40s, 14 to 16 minutes. I could drive there in two minutes. That's what I know. Take that. Take that, science.

Hey, guys, we're looking for you right now. If you plan on being the 20th caller, Now would be a good time to give us that call. 800-520-1067. We get you on a bus, send you to Santa Barbara, see Royal Otis. And we will come back and announce who that person is. Might as well be you. In two minutes and 15 seconds after Sublime on KROQ.

This is the world famous KROQ. Oh, hey, what a day to be alive. Good morning. Welcome to your KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. Alley has just injected herself with some of that, what is that stuff called? Progesterone. I can't wait to be done with this crap.

I can't even feel my ass anymore. Give yourself the shot in the ass so that she can go ahead and make sure these triplets that she has growing inside of her are healthy and ready to go. How many more shots do you have? I have to do this until I get to week 10. It feels like you've been doing this forever. Forever. This hour on the show, if you want a theme for the hour, it's going to be beefcakes and beef because we will be revealing my goal of trying to be shredded by summer. I have fallen very short of the goal.

Why do you say that? Well, last night I had two racks of ribs for dinner. Two racks. Oh, that's protein. No, no, that's not protein. Yeah, I want to see the neck. Right to the neck. Got to feed the neck.

So apparently every goal I had for myself has just gone to my neck. And as a result, many people have written songs. And they said that, in fact, someone sent me a New York Knicks. I thought it was a New York Knicks sweatshirt. I was all excited. And it says New York Knicks on it. Oh, funny. I like that.

And it has a huge stretch-out neck hole. So I'll be wearing that, I'm sure, when it gets a little cooler around here. But we will be celebrating all things burgers because it is SoCal Burger Week now through June 28th. All the details at SoCalFoodAndBeverage.org. And we'll be spotlighting a few of these local spots that are here in Southern California. And Jake will attempt to see if he can do what I was able to do with pizza, blindfold himself and figure out exactly which burger is which. And if he gets it wrong, he will not be able to eat the burgers,

which is for him, you know, that's about as bad as it gets because that guy loves a burger. Jake is a guy that used to keep burgers in his trunk for after dates so that if the date went bad, he still had a trunk burger to go to, which was like a consolation prize. And when we do this, is he going to be able to pick it up and hold it? I think he's going to have to do it smell alone, no holding. Wow. I believe. Is that what you had to smell alone? I don't think I was.

You held up the excess to climb this. That's right. Vanessa will come in here and hold the beef by Jake's face. So we got that to look forward to this hour on the show. So many ways to watch this morning. If you're not watching on YouTube, you could be because we are streaming live there right now. Let's go ahead and make someone's day instantly better. As we say good morning to caller 20, puts us in Chino Hills with a man named Ryan.

Good morning, Ryan. Morning, guys. Sweet. It's the syrup guy. Divot. You're the what guy? The syrup guy. The party bus.

The syrup guy from the party bus? All right. Well, nice to see you, syrup guy from the party bus. You're going to be getting on to a bus to see Royal Otis. Bring your syrup, I guess. and we will send you to Santa Barbara. You're as good as in on that trip. Another chance to win today at noon

and then again at 3 and then again at 6. So we will make that happen for you all day long until we fill this bus with KROQ listeners. When we get back, Allie, we can either start the eating of the hamburgers or reveal your naked body. Or I can get nude for you and we'll figure that out next.

KROQ, Klein Allie Show. I sent an email to you guys back in, I forget, February maybe And I said, I'm going to finally put myself in some sort of a goal, and the goal will be Shred by Summer. And apparently, Summer is now officially here, so I can't delay this anymore. Well, you even sent follow-up emails, like, updating all of us on your Shredded by Summer. Well, yeah, because Vanessa would say, are there any updates? And sadly, I was trying—

No, I don't think anyone was asking for updates. Yeah, Vanessa asked for updates, and I would—Vanessa, right? I asked for life updates. Well, that's all I had. Your life was getting Shred. Shred. But what I learned, and this is the sad reality that we're going to prove in a moment, because I'm going to show you a before picture and a current picture, and what we're going to

learn is that really there's been no change. That's the sad reality. Well, even I've seen videos of us doing shows from months ago, and you look much smaller and sicklier. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Sicklier, but I feel like now there are certain people that look good in different levels of being in shape, and I don't think I'm one of those people.

Well, I think it's because you didn't get shredded. You just did the bulk part of it. That's right. And you foregoed the shredded. That's right. You have to go through a lean phase, too. I didn't do it the right way. And I tried a bunch of things.

I've written down all of the things I attempted to do. And there's a lot of protein. This is nuts. Klein owns one kettlebell and decided to take it everywhere. I bought a kettlebell and brought it with me lots of places. And then when I would just stand around and wait for things, like my kid to finish soccer practice, I would just stand there and play with the kettlebell. People would look at me like I was weird, but I did that for a while.

I tried to eat 200 grams of protein minimum a day, and I think I far exceeded that number. Don't you have protein ice cream? I did. Yes, I did eat protein. You did protein coffee, protein honey, protein ice cream. Yeah, all the proteins. What other protein items have you purchased? Oh, Ali, every single stupid thing with protein in it.

You did protein donuts? And you were also doing a big creatine thing too, right? Creatine, protein. I think you were snorting it for a while there. I did snort a line of creatine to see if it did anything different. It burns. Don't do that. When we went to Colorado, you brought a bag of creatine with you, and you were taking

the creatine while we were in Colorado. Yeah, that's right. And then I played around with some of the injectables. I did some injecting. You sent me weird- What'd you do? A couple of different peptide things that are supposed to help muscle growth while you sleep.

Notice, I was always trying to find ways to avoid actually doing real work. Did you do steroids ever? No, didn't do steroids. because I didn't want to... You didn't want to change? The side effect of shriveling your nuts was too much for me to bear. Oh, I see.

I didn't want to do that. Apparently... What about any growth hormones? That's different from steroids, right? Well, no, but the current protein that I'm taking apparently is filled with growth. It's from another country, supposedly. I think if you were going to do this for another two weeks,

you would reach liver king status. So my concern is a couple things. One is, because you guys shaved my head as well, a lot of people point out that I look like a wrestler that never made it. Like one of those guys. A washed-up wrestler. And that was not the goal here. The goal was Shred by Summer.

So I promised you that I would come in here the first day of summer, regardless of how everything looked. It doesn't say washed-up wrestler by summer? It doesn't say washed-up wrestler by summer. Did you happen to weigh yourself at the beginning of the process and weigh yourself now? Yeah, 173 at the beginning, 193 now. Whoa! 20 pounds up.

And a lot of people like to say, well, muscle weighs more than fat. Neck weighs more than muscle. I think it's 20 pounds of neck. I think I put on 20 pounds of neck. It's at least 16 pounds of neck. So, you know, I did. Did I go to a gym? Not really.

You guys saw some of the stuff I did. I lifted water jugs in my kitchen. I did a bunch of weird stuff. Yeah, you do push-ups in the studio, commercial breaks. He still, he did them during the break. Some cold plunges from time to time. So now we're waiting for your reveal. So I didn't have any, so I'm going to go oil up behind the thing, Allie,

and you guys can go ahead and mock me while I do. Justin's going to oil you up. Yeah, Ginger Justin is going to volunteer to oil you up. Well, because he put the offer out there. No, he's not oiling me up. Why turn down his offer? All right, new intern. No, we're not doing that.

I don't want to oil me up. I'll oil myself up. Thank you very much. Let Ginger Justin oil you up. Someone needs to oil you up. You can't do it yourself. That's like a punishment for no reason. Vanessa, goddammit, Vanessa.

Why is that a punishment for no reason? Why do we need to touch each other? Oil me up. Why would you say that? I've been shooting Allie in the goddamn ass for the last two months with this. Oh, that's right. We did do that. Injecting Allie's ass.

I didn't have a problem with that. I mean, I did have a problem with it. It's disgusting, but I did it because. I can oil you up. You want me to oil you? No, no, because then I need to review. I'm going to go hide behind this thing. You can't get your bag.

Make sure you oil up those nips nice and oily. All right, I'll oil up the nips, but we're already late for the break. No, no, no, I'm talking to Allie. Oh, yeah, I'll do that. Allie, oil up your own nips. Wait, mine and his? I thought it was just Klein's, but two for one's fine. We have to take a break.

Now we're late. Now we're late, so we've got to take a break. Go oil up, and we'll do your reveal when we get back. And then we're going to eat cheeseburgers. and every gain I've possibly made will be completely undone. So get ready for this. It's going to smell like tanning oil and burger. If you're not on YouTube right now,

the reveal that no one has been waiting for and proof that doing everything you see on TikTok does not necessarily mean you will have any sort of results. This is a cautionary tale. I would love to get back all of those months wasted, and we'll come back with that next. K-Rock Road Trip USA 2020. Oh, a lot of smells happening here in the studio.

It's K-Rock, it's Klein Alley Show. It is Tuesday morning, and not only are there delicious burgers in the studio, there is a man half-naked behind the equipment right now. He's oiled up. Klein had a goal. He wanted to get shredded by summer. He's been working out in all the wrong ways. He's been carrying kettlebells at his kids' soccer practice.

He's been walking across his living room with giant jugs of water. And it has all led up to this moment. it was pretty impressive to see him oiling himself up behind the equipment here in the studio and see all the burger guys in the break room looking and laughing at him i have not seen klein he is about to do his big reveal if you want to watch along on youtube you go to k-rock's youtube right now you can see klein's naked body and let's do the big reveal now klein wanted to be shredded by summer. Here he is. He's definitely

sucking in. And he is very oiled up and shaven. First of all, why are you laughing? Why is the first reaction laughing? Because you're puffing your chest up like a bird. You just made some big... Look normal. I just wanted to eat the hamburger.

Hold on one second. Thank you. Thank you, Omar, for this music. It's lovely. Whatever this oil is Vanessa got stinks so bad. It smells so bad. It's weird because the burgers smell really good, and then that smells really bad. And Vanessa, I think this is going to get me canceled for being racist. I think I've gone full black body. I've gone black body.

I want your muscles to be defined. You're so shy. I've not gone black face. I've gone black body. Wait, stand up again. And you have to do some muscle poses. Yeah, your muscle poses. Do some Arnold Schwarzenegger stuff.

Johnny, I don't want to post this stuff. Do one where both of your, that accentuates your neck. Listen, this, once again, this was a fail. The experiment was a fail, but... Do your module man impression. Oh, yeah. Big fail. But, Allie, I know you're alive.

Why is some of your chest shaved more than the other? I don't know. Did you wax some and shave other parts? This morning was the reveal day, and I forgot about it until this morning, so I didn't do the thing. What thing? I was going to shave my chest, and I did it half-assed at four in the morning. Oh, God. So my question is, Sirius...

Where are your nipples, by the way? He's got tiny nipples. He's self-conscious about it. One of my many birth defects is that I was born without nipples. Like, tiny little nipples. Like, I had baby, infant nipples. They are very small. So, um, so anyway...

So anyway, this is me. Love me or hate me, this is who I am. The point of all of this is to... I think there's a lot of people out there trying to motivate you to do stuff. It's a waste of time and energy to try to do anything. Right, Allie? No. Oh, I thought we were going to get fat together now.

Your neck looks so much bigger without your shirt on because of your shoulders. I thought it would have looked smaller. No. Someone said you look like Wolverine's, like a Teen Movie version of Wolverine, like his weird stuff. I think the 562 said it best. I've seen enough. So thank you. Let's put some butter knives in between your knuckles.

You could be like Wolverine. I do feel his smell is nauseating. Yeah, no S. I mean, I'm very easily nauseated right now. And the burgers were actually, I didn't mind at all, the smell of the meat and the cheese. But then you came in with this body butter. Yeah, it's a terrible smell. Decline in oil.

In oil. So there you go. In shimmery lady oil. You're going to get this. You look good, man. You look like a churro. Thanks. Thanks, Johnny.

That's the goal. Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. That's the goal I was looking for. So anyway, if you watch the show on YouTube, this is what I'll be wearing every day this summer. This exact outfit. So get used to it. Oiled up and greased up.

So you're just going to stay shirtless now? I don't think I can put my shirt back on over this paint that I put on my body right now. And the weirdest part about it is on some days, not a lot of people walk by the K-Rock studios, but today happens to be a full house here. I will say your shoulders and arms look very good. It looks like you kind of gave up lower in the lower waist area. Thank you. I told you.

Did you do core stuff? No. Oh. That's too hard. Okay, because it looks like you were only working on, like, two body parts. Yeah, that's about right. But they look great. Right.

I think you look very good. Yes. It's just, you know, I think you kind of have to do an all-over situation. I don't like this version of Klein. I like old Klein's body better. Does any, Allie, does any part of you... Let's take old Klein and grease him up. Okay.

Old Klein was plenty greasy. Wait, yeah, does any part of you as a lesbian, does any part of you say, you know what? No. Now, after seeing this, I could see myself into men again. No. Think about that before you gag. Not at all.

Think about it. Give it a little shake, climb, you know? Soak it in. Oh, you have so much hair under your armpits. Soak that in, huh? Huh? Huh? Oh, yeah.

All right. I'm actually jealous. This stupid part, because of all the hair? This stupid part of the show can come to an end. And we'll get into a different stupid part of the show. And it's going to get even dumber, believe it or not, after this. Is that Lionel Messi in the studio, someone asking? Someone called you Linoleum Messi.

Okay, great. Thank you for that. 3-1-0 wanted to know if your wife actually likes this. Oh, God, no. Does she think you're hot? No, no, no. Hates it. So she liked your body before when it was, like, emaciated?

She said that she liked that I didn't care about anything. Yeah. And now she thinks I'm annoying. So I said, yeah. So are you going to keep going or are you going to actually give up? No, I'm going to eat three cheeseburgers in a second. Okay. All of that.

Now we're going to get shredded cheese by summer. Yeah. After this one, this was the shredded by summer challenge. Hey, Vanessa, as a straight woman. Honestly, I think your arms look great. Oh, here we go. The arms look good. Your arms, the shoulders.

Clyde, good job. I'm proud of you. Vanessa, I'm going to take you to HR after the show. Oh, my. You look like a hero. I'm going to pick you up and take you to HR. I'm going to pick you up and bench you over to HR after this. You know what I'm saying?

I'm excited. Okay, so, Vanessa, you're a little worked up. I'm not worked up. I was giving you a compliment. Oh, it is Rambo. Oh, Vanessa. I like Rambo. Rambo.

Oh, thank you for saying that. Did you work on your chest? I tried. Thanks, Allie. Tried a lot. Not easy. It's not easy. I'm just going to get implants, I think.

Everyone else. You should get breast implants like Jake. Oh, man. If it was you but had Jake boobs, that would be ideal. 323 has said, please, I'm laughing so hard at work. Just stop. How does that make you feel? Not great.

That was not the goal here. But anyway, the point is, I think a lot of times in the social media world we live in. You only see, like, I did this, and now I'm succeeded. And you get a lot of what I believe is, like, unrealistic, oh, that was easy. I think it's important to see some fails along the way as well. You know what you could do is you could completely lie

and say, I ate only pizza for three months straight, and this is what happened to my body. It's not that much of a lie. I love you. Oh, Vanessa. That was recorded, Vanessa. Vanessa, listen. I don't say I love you.

Listen to me. Hey, it's okay. We work together. I'm married, the whole thing. You're single, I get it. No, I don't say I love you. I know, but you just said it to me, though. I give it a little chummy-chummy.

All right, if you want it. You want a motorboat, Klein? Vanessa, is this okay? Why are you moving like that? Vanessa? Vanessa? Can we do the next segment, please? Okay, we're going to do the next segment.

A Mexican cutie. Oh, you do look like a Mexican cutie. It's just the oil. A churro. Oh, thank you. I told you you look like a churro, Klein. All right, thank you, guys. You got the pass today.

That's right. I got the pass. Right after this, in the studio, Jake the Nerd, blindfolded. Can he figure out which burger is which as we spotlight some of the best burgers that you can actually be eating and ordering during Burger Week Los Angeles? That is after this on KROQ. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. Summer's officially here. We can all agree that hamburgers, cheeseburgers on the grill, one of the official foods of summer, Southern California year-round.

I've switched into a tank top now that Johnny brought me, which is almost more ridiculous than me sitting here with my shirt off. But enough. If you're not watching on YouTube right now, we are live on KROQ. And this week is officially SoCal Burger Week, which happens now through the 28th, which means a bunch of different places around Los Angeles and Orange County will be offering exclusive one-of-a-kind burgers. Price points, $5, $10, $15, $20, all the way up to $25. And you can get all the details of the participating places at SoCalFoodAndBeverage.org slash burger-week. Now, you know, we love burgers here at K-Rock. We have our In-N-Out Sound Space, as you know.

We do that all the time. We have these brand-new burger bibs that were just put together from us that Jake will be wearing. These are from Burger 3000. So there's no shortage of great burger places. And then, you know, L.A.'s got a history of some great ones that have been around for a while. Jake loves cheeseburgers and hamburgers more than anyone. Jake, is that your favorite food group? Cheeseburger?

Is there anything you like more than that other than those weird hush puppies you're always talking about? Mustard sandwich, but when you actually have money cheeseburger, hamburger, that's your move That, pizza, or surf and turf burritos We have three different SoCal Burger places that will try to stump Jake who is blindfolded

and sitting in the K-Rock studio right now He was wearing the blindfold because he didn't want to see me with my shirt off Oh man, can I have a blindfold? Allie wants a blindfold as well We are out of blindfolds Everyone has blindfolds on today And I will describe these three burgers, Jake, but you will only be able to try to figure out which one is which based on smell.

And if you're able to do it, then you get to eat the burgers. Well, what sucks is because right now it smells like vanilla bean and onions in here. Right, right. Because of the spray I put on me, it kind of altered the smell of the entire studio. It is designed to throw you off slightly. So I will tell you, Jake, that in front of you, you have three great-looking burgers. Allie and I have been salivating in here for a while. And Allie said everything's making her nauseous today because she's pregnant and whatnot,

but she said these burgers are not actually making her nauseous at all. No, I want to eat all of those. She goes, I'm starving. Yes, I want to eat all three of those burgers for different reasons. So if I get to smell and guess right, I get to eat them all. Yeah, that's right. And if you're wrong, then we will get to eat them, and you will have to get in your car and immediately drive to the new Buc-ee's in Arizona, which will take you five hours and 35 minutes.

How about if I get it right, you have to drive to Arizona? How about that? That would be hilarious. You could show everyone you're bod. I do feel like I definitely got to move to Arizona now. Get a load of this, Scottsdale. You'll fit in at the University of Arizona. Let's go ASU.

You see the neck like this? Come on. So, Jake, I will describe these three burgers. Wait, are you really guys agreeing to one of you drive to Arizona? Because I don't want to be invested in this. I'm not driving to Arizona. If you lose, one of us is driving to Arizona. Okay, then you.

But if you lose... Then one of us is driving. That's what you said. One of us is driving. Go ahead. Go ahead. You do it. Let me just do some math here.

If I leave after the show, five hours, 35 there. You're not getting back till like midnight. All right, but I will get back before tomorrow's show. Ugh. Ugh, tomorrow's show. That sounds terrible. Okay, so we're not really sure what the stakes are here, but someone might drive to Arizona. We do know this.

Jake, I thought you wanted to go because you love Buc-ee's. No, I don't want to go at all. I've been to a Buc-ee's, and that's why I say it's a store. All right, let's just try some burgers. Well, let's just do the burger bet. If Jake gets these wrong, he cannot have any of the delicious cheeseburgers here, and Allie will eat them all. Great.

One of these cheeseburgers, I'll describe them. One of them is from a place that I've been to many times. It's been around since the 60s. It is one of the legendary Pasadena institutions known as Pie and Burger. They have brought today a classic cheeseburger, prime beef, American cheese, homemade Thousand Island, pickles, tomato lettuce. That's one of them. Been around a long time.

Great place. Want to say maybe cash only. I'm not sure if they still are. At some point, I feel like that was a situation there. They make the sodas from scratch there. Love that operation. It does. I'm just looking at it.

Beautiful classic burger. One of the burgers you will be trying is a place that has locations in Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach, and Long Beach. It is proudly serving. They have brought a burger called the Big Matt Sesame Seed Bun, which is Martin's. The mat sauce, pickles shredded like me, lettuce, diced onions, double patty, cheese. And a little wife beater. And it's wearing a tiny little tank top. You better get back in there.

It's adorable. And the other one that you'll be trying is from El Brujo. And you'll be trying their smatula, garlic smash burger. Lettuce, pickles, garlic, caramelized onions, patty cooked in garlic butter with American cheese on a garlic aioli potato bun. That one I think will be probably the easiest for you to figure out by smell. But once again, Jake is used to making it. Jake's number one food he eats usually if it's not cheeseburgers. If someone else is buying his cheeseburgers, if he's buying his beans or mustard sandwiches.

Or someone else is buying it, lobster roll. Which one are you excited about particularly, Jake? I am excited for all of them. I guess the last one you described sounds like the most exotic. Yeah. So here's the thing. That is like a bold Mexican flair mix to an American-style cheeseburger. The other is more classic.

But Jake will only get to try any of them if he's able to figure them out on smell lawn. He's blindfolded right now. Vanessa's going to hold up. Is she in here? Who's holding up the burger? Johnny's in here. Johnny's on his knees in the studio. I thought Johnny was servicing Jake because Jake kept making these noises like, oh.

Johnny's head just popped up right at the table. All right, so whenever you're ready, hold one of the burgers. Just make sure, Johnny, you know the order that you're holding them so we know. All right, burger number one is being held in front of Jake now. He's sniffing burger one. You can remove the top bun if you need to, but Jake cannot touch the burger. I was able to successfully do this with three different types of pizza, and everyone said it was an amazing thing to witness.

Jake is trying to do this with burgers now. Johnny's taking off the top bun. Jake is sniffing That's burger one Once again Man, we're already ruining such a nice burger I know, Jake is stumped on burger number one Still, I just smell vanilla beans

So much That's me, that's my body you're smelling That's me, it's all me, baby Alright, give Jake burger number two now And Jake has to figure out Which one is which If he wants to eat any of the burgers Jake is sniffing

This is one of the most painful things you can do to another person, especially when they're starving. Johnny's lifting the bun up. Okay. This is when Jake starts to have a tantrum. Okay. Okay, I think I got that one.

I think I got that one. Okay, all right. Burger two you think you got? Which one do you think burger two is? The caramelized onion thingy? You had to describe them again for me. But the more exotic one, whenever... The one with all the garlic, you mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's burger two. All right, give him burger number three now. Burger number three, give it a sniff. Jake has got his nose into the cheeseburger right now Okay Alright now Are you ready to lock in your order

The only chance you have to eat these burgers Is you have to get this exactly right Okay He's so mad already It's just it's so hard I mean how long have these been in here 20 minutes Permanating in your oil

Scent This is like impossible Except for that one with all the stuff on it. Well, you know you got one. Now process of elimination. Okay, so what's the first one again that you described? The first one that I described was from Pie and Burger. The classic cheeseburger.

I'll say that was the first one. Okay. And then the second one was... You're going to say the second one was the El Brujo? And what's on that? Because you're so bad. The garlic smash. This is supposed to be fun, Jake.

You're making it unfun. The garlic smash burger. I'm going to go with that one. Then that's the one that... That's the one that I think is second. Okay, so you believe the third one by process of elimination is the Proudly Serving Burger, the Big Mac? Yes. I'll do it in order of the thing, which would be weird that you didn't mix them up.

Right. So you're saying it would be weird if Johnny came in and put them in the exact order that we described them on the air? I mean, he'd be dumb enough to do that. Yeah, well, shockingly, that's exactly what happened. Johnny did not in any way, shape, or form. These are already here. Johnny, you gotta rearrange the goddamn order Oh my god, you're not blaming this on me

You gave them to him in the exact order we described them There was no mixing up It's Jake, he's like an animal His nose knows stuff Ah, forget it Give Jake the goddamn hamburger Stupid segment's over Yeah, Clyde's going to Arizona

Yeah, I'm going to the Buc-ee's, bitch Alright, so SoCal Burger Week is on Jake, go ahead and have your celebratory bite Enjoy all your burgers Oh, wow, these look awesome We gotta take a break That was good how we really rearranged the order That real shell game going on there, huh?

I'll just give them to him in the order the client describes them. Man, we're not good at stuff here. It was easy to follow along. So easy. We've got to take ourselves a quick break. You can watch along on YouTube right now as Jake is salivating, eating burgers, and I'll be back after this. So, Rock, we are Client Alley Show. We'll find out what's happening in the world together.

We can do that in a moment. If you need us, 800-520-1067 for you to interact with the show. Lots to give you today. The bribery continues. Of course, we like to bribe you to listen to the show because, let's be honest, our personalities are not enough to keep you locked in for the next few hours here on KROQ. Nope. Although there are quite a few messages on the GOAT line that have a lot of questions, new listeners, old listeners. And let's go ahead and start with solving a mystery that we've never addressed.

What's going on, guys? So, kind of a new listener to the show, but I'm catching up on some of the older episodes. I listened to the one earlier today that Ali's wife, where she was picking up the tapping again, and I heard it say that there was going to be some recital in June. Well, we're towards the end of June, and I may have missed it, but also... Before we get to the also in his message, Ali, your wife was supposed to do some sort of a tap dancing recital. It got canceled because of lack of interest and also because no one wanted to pay for the costumes and for the venue. And it was going to be really far in Ventura, and nobody wanted to drive there. The only thing sadder than a grown-ass woman rediscovering her love of tap dancing is the fact that there was not enough interest to actually share this gift with the world.

She's really upset about it, you guys. And then her two tap classes have actually been canceled because nobody wants to go anymore. And now she's really depressed, and I don't know what to do. Let's throw a party. Did you just walk in and see her, like, tapping alone in the garage and stuff? She doesn't like tapping in the garage. She wants to tap in a studio. Is it, like, a sad tap now?

Yeah. There's no tap in her step? It's nothing worse than sad tapping. Just her wearing the tap shoes to the refrigerator for one of those sad snacks. anyway hopefully that answers your question sir also uh jake bucky's is a gas station i've actually been to one i'm the only person on the show who's been to one only person doesn't know what bucky's is is jake let's get into this your news then a brand new hour of the show can officially begin good morning grab your Adderall it's time for add news here's a name you don't

hear much anymore clive it's without a doubt an old person name and clive davis one of the biggest names in all of music died yesterday he was 94 no cause of death given but i don't think we really need all that i feel like when you're over 90 unless it's murder let's just save ourselves the time we don't really heard katie's tapping she's like oh my god this is so sad yeah that's it clive davis game over clive would have signed katie yeah right uh so he was obviously one of the most well-known record producers of all time. He signed Earth, Wind & Fire, Aerosmith, The Grateful Dead, Kenny G, Alicia Keys, Aretha Franklin,

Milli Vanilli, Ace of Bass, LFO, all of the classics. He helped... Yeah, there we go. There's Kenny G. He signed that guy and was like, you're going to be big. There'd be no hold music. There'd be no hold music. We'd just be sitting on hold in silence.

That guy also, I think, started a huge long hair for men trend. Oh, he did? Kenny G. Oh, Kenny G. I thought you were saying Clive. I'm like, I think that guy's been bald forever. No, no, that guy was bald for a long time. He also helped Diddy create Bad Boy Records, which only went well. He was also fired from Columbia Records for providing drugs to artists and DJs as part of a payola scam.

Those were the good old days. That's the whole reason we got into this stupid business. Finally got into this business, and then they go, oh, that whole reason you wanted to get here for the free drugs and whores? We don't do that anymore. It's sad because you get into radio and then everyone tells you, Oh, you know, I remember when this guy came in here with a briefcase of cocaine and he put it on the desk and said, Will you play my record? And they said, Absolutely.

And that's how things went back then. You're all so effed up and you're like, Why? I think our boss went through a phase where he was getting a new Porsche every year. Yes, he got a new Porsche, I think, for five years in a row. And a new assistant, by the way. I think that was cool, too, to just fiddle your assistant. Every year. God, we missed the good days, didn't we?

Damn, we sure did. It was part of the plugola. Oh, man, that's right. Here's somebody who's not having a funner summer. The guy who got stuck in a porta potty in Fresno for 20 minutes after diving in to retrieve his sunglasses. First responders rescuing a man trapped in a vault toilet near Shaver Lake. Shaver Lake is a terrible name for a lake, by the way, especially if it's located in Fresno. A lot of loose hair in that lake.

thing starting when the man dropped his glasses in a toilet that's right a toilet instead of letting them go they say he tried getting them back before falling in and we mean all the way in via spanish translator they advised that the subject had fallen into the chemical storage tank the guy only spoke spanish they had to use a translator while he was stuck in the porta pot We need to get a translator in here. I knew that. I knew that, man. Our personnel responded.

We were able to safely get him out, decontaminate him. The sheriff's office says he was in there for 10 to 15 minutes, and we're still working to find out whether the man got his glasses back. Who cares about that part of the story? We're still waiting. Yeah, that's okay. We'll let those go. But if you think your day's not off to a good start,

or maybe this is not the week you were hoping it would be, at least you're not the guy that spent 20 minutes face down in a porta potty. Because you were retrieving sunglasses, not even a phone. That is the only thing that I would instinctively reach for in that scenario. If I lost my sunglasses, who cares? Even if they were expensive, just let it go, man. I mean, your phone, at least, that's got all your data. There's a lot of problems that are associated with that.

I've had my kid in a porta potty before, and I thought about this. I'm just moving on. Let's make another one. We don't need this. Make another one. I don't want to be that guy face first in a porta potty. No way. There are a lot of pissed off middle-aged women today because they feel very betrayed by Bed Bath & Beyond.

It was their go-to spot for all their discounted toilet cleaners. But they closed down and they told everybody, even during the liquidation sale, even during the last couple of weeks, we will not accept your expired Bed Bath & Beyond coupons. Just throw them in the trash. People who had dozens, hundreds of Bed Bath & Beyond coupons, they all finally got rid of them when all the Bed Bath & Beyonds closed down. My mom had a folder, and she kept it in her drawer. The only thing in that drawer was just Bed Bath & Beyond coupons that she had been collecting for years. And nobody ever used them, which is the problem.

That's part of why they closed down. But now they are reopening as a co-branded hybrid store with the container store. There's a couple of them opening up in California. There's Costa Mesa in L.A. and Century City. Those are going to be opening up very soon if they're not open already. And they are doing a contest where they are not only taking your Bed Bath & Beyond coupons that are expired. If they can find the oldest coupon, they will give that person $100,000. So they are on the hunt now for the oldest Bed Bath & Beyond coupon.

And now all the ladies that threw away their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons are so pissed because they were told these aren't of use anymore. Just get rid of them. They finally got rid of that pack in the drawer. And now they're saying, get them back out, use them. Not only are they good, they could win you $100,000. I'm not kidding, Allie. I think my mom may have it. I'm not even kidding.

She never threw them away? Are you sure? I don't know. I feel like she's the type of person that would be about to throw them away and be like, I'm going to hold on to these for a rainy day. The oldest Bed Bath & Beyond coupon is worth how much? $100,000? One lucky entrant will receive a $100,000 home transformation.

I mean this would be this would be crazy because I promise you she has ones in there from like the 90s I don't know if that's old enough I don't know

when did even Bed Bath & Beyond start I'm talking 1890s she's got old ass coupons in there no she's not there she's not there please leave your name

and number I'm gonna leave a message she screens my calls now she does mom do not throw out your Bed Bath & Beyond coupons they could be worth $100,000

this is a serious call I know you don't take my calls anymore this isn't a prank this is not a prank for the first time ever in our relationship. These coupons, that drawer you have in the kitchen that you say, stay out of,

that's my Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon drawer, could finally be worth something. So listen closely, look it up on the internets. Also, have you seen your son's neck? It's huge. Okay, all right, goodbye, Omar. Thank you, goodbye. All right, thank you, mom.

Did you love your son three noses ago? Okay, goodbye. What a lovely message. I'm sure she'll really appreciate that when she gets back from her morning walk. She'll appreciate it when she's rich. Yeah, when she's rich with that $100,000 Bed, Bath & Beyond room.

It's going to be great. All right. Anyway, we've got a decent hour to get into, believe it or not. We will get into it in moments. This is the world famous K-Rock. Bring on the food coma. Good hour as we digest cheeseburgers here at K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. Good morning.

Welcome to your summer, funner summer. Proving that to be very, very true as we have between now and Labor Day to get everything done. And we are asking you, there's a post up on our Instagram, Klein Alley Show. Pick your favorites and agree to do them with us. forced fun all summer long and decide if you want to get drunk at a water park or if you want to have a backyard kegger i mean there's a lot of options you could have actually a couple interesting messages on the go line specifically ali about the backyard keg party including this one hey guys mr suave agave here this is for klein klein i got a solution for you for your keg party that you've

got to throw you're throwing this out there if you want to but i'm actually having a pool party with a tequila brand on July 18th. So this guy's got a yard, he said. Backyard boogie, it's a backyard party. It's a backyard boogie, and he says we could all just move our party to Suave Agave's backyard. Why don't we do a tequila keg?

And it said that you need to throw a keg party in a backyard, it didn't say specifically your backyard, so if you want to come party with me, bring a keg, we can party it up, enjoy the pool, unlimited tequila, food, drinks, BJ. It's got BJs. Oh, my God.

That sounds amazing. Food, drinks, and BJ's. All that being care of, all you got to do is bring the keg. All right. Well, if we show up with a keg. Is there a guest list cap or like, you know, throw out the invitation on the air and everybody can come and show up? Yeah, reach out to Suave Agave off the air and figure out how many of us.

Also, I did think that we did say it had to be Klein's house. Oh, great. I don't remember that. Jake, when is the week you're floating? When are you floating on the river? Jake's the only person who really cares about going to Klein's house specifically. I want to stay all night. Oh, great.

I'm shutting down that bar. When are you out of town, Jake? When are you going on that float? I'm not telling you nothing. Because that's when the party is, when you're out of town. I'm not going anywhere. He's starting to get afraid of travel. Yeah, I know.

We're going to talk to Jake about this in a moment, but I believe you are slowly becoming agoraphobic. Totally. I think you're on the cusp. You're at a crossroads, right? Yeah, this is like, you know, when you talk about that weirdo that never leaves their shack. Like, that's about you in two weeks if you don't change things. Royal Otis now on KROQ. Want to see Royal Otis in Santa Barbara?

you'll have another chance to hop on KROQ's party bus in less than two hours and then again at three and again at six and we'll do it for you tomorrow morning as well. Plus bonus tickets as always. Hop on the party bus with Postmaster Johnny, head to Santa Barbara and enjoy Royal Otis. So Jake is not leaving

his shack very often these days and I think that once you start staying in more leaving becomes more challenging and even that bar you go to all the time, you're a big regular at that bar, you've recently stopped even wanting to go to your favorite bar because you just like to stay in the Jake shack. Yeah, or at least outside.

Don't you think that this is going to go down a very slippery slope into full-blown agoraphobia? I don't know if it's agoraphobia, because I still like to be in my backyard, but I just don't like to go places, because I think traveling sucks. I think agoraphobia is when you don't like to go places. I thought it was you don't like to be outside. No, I think it's the definition of what you just said, where you just don't want to go anywhere. And I know going places is annoying because of parking and stuff, but usually walking, we've already made the joke that you never leave Burbank. I mean, you always ask people, hey, can I interview you for KROQ? Sure, where are you from?

And the answer is always Burbank, because that's the only place you ask to talk to people. Yeah, because it's the easiest place to get to. Why would I go anywhere else when everything I want is right around me? So agoraphobia is driven by the dread of experiencing public environments. See, I don't know if that's exactly it, but I just don't like to travel. Because traveling, especially like flying, it just sucks. The whole process sucks. Even flying on a Burbank isn't the best.

And then flying back, I just, I hate it. Just the idea of doing it makes me anxious. If you've ever seen him at an airport, he is very anxious. He's the worst. Even when we've flown with him and gotten to the airport like two hours before the flight, and he's totally a wreck. Yeah, I have PTSD from when I was really sick, because then I had to use the bathroom all the time,

and then you had to get in line, and then you had to stay in line, and then I'm stuck in line, and I can't use the bathroom if I need to. It sucks. Jake's pulling his little purple suitcase he has. He stole it from some middle-aged woman. And he has to argue with somebody about his dog, usually. One point or another. Oh, yeah, that whole thing, too.

So, I mean, to go out as you seems like it sucks anyway because there's a lot of you having to explain yourself to people. Yeah, sometimes. So I get why you should start staying in, and I think the first day you should stay in is the day I have my backyard kegger at my house. It's just interesting because summer travel is such a, you know, people love to experience new places. Omar was just telling us where he's planning to go, all these new cities. And, you know, you might miss out on some new life experiences, Jake, if you're not willing to go try new things because you're really set in your ways. Yeah, but even my own ways, even me traveling, I still go into places I always go to. Yeah, even traveling, you're just going to the same place every year.

You're just traveling to the same place. Yeah, because I've got to go to places where I have family that I can stay with for free. You know how we could solve this problem? Drive to Arizona. We get a map of the world, and we just throw a dart at it. And Jake, and we just, you just go. Oh, great. Jake's going to Qatar.

We're going to Iran. Awesome. Jake, I mean, I'm being serious. Would you be opposed to, I mean, that's a great way to get over this fear of leaving. It's just to have this unexpected, I never thought in a million years I would go to wherever. I don't even have a passport. Oh, you don't. No, we can take care of that.

Yeah. That's okay. That's usually not. You can still have time to get one for a summer vacation. It's usually not a long and annoying and expensive process to get a passport. So, yeah, we can figure that out. I'm getting anxious just thinking about it. Okay, I found a website called Earth Roulette.

Oh, here we go. Spin it, and it'll tell you a destination you have to go there. Jake, cool. Jake, are you... No, because there's so many places I don't want to go. This website gives you so much anxiety. If we give you... I'm being serious now.

Even if it was just like Central California, I don't even want to go there. If we cover the cost of this trip in some way, shape, or form... Room and board. Yeah, room and board. We're not going to buy all your dumb tchotchkes you're going to buy there. I don't care if you buy roadkill in Amsterdam. I'm not paying for that. But I'm saying, whatever it is, Allie's going to spin the thing.

Will you go to this place this summer? I don't. This summer? Well, yeah. This is the time. I can't go this summer. When you get your passport, we'll plan it. I'm so scared I'm going to throw up my burger.

Are you really? Yeah, I feel sick. I feel ill. Whoa. Oh, I think that's why it's important, exposure therapy, right? You've got to challenge yourself to go out and do this stuff. Otherwise, your world is just going to get smaller and smaller, Jake, and then you are going to be afraid to leave the shack.

Even outside is going to be scary. It's just a roulette thing. This place can super suck. Everyone knows that one person, like a neighbor, I have this guy, Gary Roush, a guy who never left this house. He was a weird shack house, weren't allowed to trick-or-treat with him. What's his name? Gary Roush.

And it rhymes with house? He's going to be like you, dude. I'm telling you, at one point, the guy was probably going around. Now, all of a sudden, he just wouldn't leave his house. Wow, I can put filters on. Yeah, there's filters. Do you want to go to cold, mild, or warm climate? Obviously, Allie, click affordable for the budget.

Oh, I was going to click expensive. Let's go affordable. Affordable. How about I'll pick mild? Mild for what, weather? Yeah. No, I want to go to Norway. All right, I just won't click on anything.

Yeah, let's just leave the whole world open. This website's cool, by the way. This makes the whole world an option for Jake. I'm so scared. Jake, have you clicked yet? Yes. Jake, you, my friend, are traveling to... Hertogenbosch.

That's not even a thing. That's a sausage. In the Netherlands. Hertogenbosch. That sounds cool. Discover the rich culture of Hertogenbosch. What it's known for is being... Sounds like Jake's condition.

You get Hertogenbosch all over the place. That's what I said when you say that. You can stay for $146 a night at a nice hotel. It's known for being budget-friendly and having great spots to eat out. and incredible views of Night Lake. Jake, you know when you like to talk about those

bands that no one cares about? Now, Herc and Togandosh can be your same thing. When people talk about like, I went to Hawaii, you're like, oh yeah, well I went to Herc Togandosh.

Yeah, I want to go to Herc Togandosh. Sounds cool. So, it's a great... Is that a real thing? I've never heard of this place in my life. What's the country?

It's the Netherlands. Oh. Jake, you want to go to Herc Togandosh? Sure. Let's do it. It's done. Great.

Look at these. There's castles. There's beautiful views and churches. This looks very fun. What's that flight then? What's a flight cost? Can someone look that up? Plan the trip with a travel bot.

Here we go. From L.A. to Hertogenbosch. I'm sure that's not a direct flight. Plan my Hertogenbosch trip. Said no one ever. Where would you like to go? Hertogenbosch. So, hold on.

I'm sure some... Three, five days? Three days. Three days. Seems like enough. We're paying for it. References. Okay.

All right. Here we go. Give me the total on this. Let's see. Because maybe sometimes the tourism. You've got to leave out of Burbank, not even LAX, right? Because you're not. Jake would not go to LAX, no.

It's going to be so much more. So he's going to have to probably fly from Burbank to LAX and then leave from there. It's going to be at least a six-flighter, I feel like, for Jake. Jake, I don't know why you wouldn't just want to. All right, whatever. You got your own weird stuff. But this is our way of curing your agoraphobia. There's one answer, and that answer is her token bosh.

The flights range from, oh, it's going to be about $2,700 one way. All right. Have you thought about it? Looks like I'm not coming back. Thought about this. A one-way ticket to her token box. Jake is moving to her token box, everyone. Pride Alley Show.

It is the month of June. Everyone will argue it's World Cup month, except Alley, who's still fighting the good fight for Pride Month. And that's why people are saying, we need some lesbianists in our life. Hi, K-Rock. I have two things to say. Can you guys bring back that funny skit? Let's be honest. Let's be honest.

Let's be honest. I mean, I don't even know if we need to bring it back now that that guy just gave us the rendition of the theme song, but this is an opportunity for you to ask a question to a living, breathing lesbian. It's time for Let's Be Honest. Let's be honest. Let's put our lesbian to the test.

She's the very best. Uh-huh. Let's be honest. You got a question she'll address. Come on, shake your breast. Uh-huh. Lesbians. Hey, before you answer some of these questions, Allie,

And that is one of Omar's finest theme songs to date It really is, great job Before you answer these questions though This guy actually makes an interesting suggestion About Lesbianist this month Hey guys, sweet dibs I'm looking at my calendar right now And it looks like next Friday is the last Friday of June

I was thinking Would you guys be down to do Lyday Friday for June And have Ally be on the hot seat Just so it could be kind of like a Lesbianist and a Lyday Friday Like a real lesbianist on the lie detector machine. I don't know, maybe a question we could ask is like, does she have a preference as to the gender of her baby?

Or, I don't know, just something like super incriminating. I would love to do a, if he's available, maybe we haven't done any lesbianists this month. I mean, we'll get on a question now, but I mean, it would be great if maybe we could plan that for the last Friday of the month, which I think would be, is that this Friday? That would be this Friday. Yeah, so that could be a legitimate lie-day Friday lesbianist edition where Allie is on the hot seat.

We could bring in co-workers and find out if Allie finds them attractive or not. Oh, we could have so much fun with this. Why? Why would we do? Well, there are a couple, actually, that... I know who you're into. No, you don't. Oh, I do.

Sales lady. I do. Sales lady. I know who you're into. I see your eye. I see the certain people that walk in this kitchen, and I watch your eye wander. You got that rule.

I think, isn't it the Greek lady? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Allie's got a big thing for the Greek. Well, we all have a crush on her. Allie's got a big thing for the Greek. Yeah, that's true. She's hot.

Allie, every time that woman walks by, Allie smashes a plate on the ground. She's so into it. They're like, oh, oh, fuck. Did you say something to her the last time? Did I say something to her? Yeah, because she doesn't come through to the kitchen anymore. Yeah, because she knows Allie's perving on her.

Aw, dude. Sorry. Yeah, that sucks. No, I don't. You ruined it for us. I didn't say anything to her. Here's your question for Lesbianas. First of all, Shover Time, pure gold.

I was like crying from all the laughter. Absolutely hilarious. Thank you for downloading the bonus podcast called Klein Alley. Shover Time, appreciate that, but that's unrelated. Get to your question, please. Love it. Secondly, can we have an impromptu, let's be honest section? Alley was talking on Thursday about how her breasts are getting bigger

because she's, you know, obviously pregnant. I'm wondering, does Katie get excited over that? Just like how a guy would. Eh, I mean, let us know. Thank you. That's a great question. I remember when my wife's boobs started to get really big when she was pregnant, but she wasn't showing anywhere else, just in her boobs, and it was like the greatest couple

of weeks of my life. Well, I'm definitely showing in other places already. Oh. I mean, it's... But the question is, is your wife excited about it the same way that a man would be excited about that, or is she more interested in conversing? I feel like we'd have to call her and ask her. Oh, really?

Write down her number. Let's call her and ask her. If we want to get real lesbian, if we want to get real lesbianist... Then I would have to ask her because I really have no idea. I don't think so. I don't think that she would be turned on by me having larger boobs. I think she actually likes that my boobs are on the smaller side. Hey, Katie.

Oh, there she is. Yeah. Hi. Morning. Congratulations on this pregnancy, even though, as Allie says, a lot of times you had nothing to do with it. Right. Absolutely nothing. It's her egg.

Oh, that's right. This time you did have something to do with it. Yeah, she bailed because she's a coward. Thanks. Relax. Everyone just calm down. I'm a coward. No, no, no.

Don't listen to Jake. Jake is just trying to start a problem. She's all I am. Here's the question for real. If I have a kegger in my backyard, would you tap dance at the kegger? No. That would be so awesome. The real question, for let's be honest, Allie, you can ask her.

But, babe, we would be giving you an experience so you can tap in front of people because you didn't get your little recital. Allie, I don't want to tap in front of people. I'm the reason the recital didn't happen. You canceled it because you were too embarrassed? I'm not a performer. I have stage fright. So the real question here is because I'm pregnant, my boobs are starting to get larger.

You've noticed this, right? Yeah. Yeah. Are you turned on by the fact that I have bigger boobs or is it a turn off? uh it's neither i mean i like apathy neither passionate about tap dancing and not about my that hurts so much these are very random questions what do they have to do with each other well they have nothing to

do the tap dance conversation was earlier today i just didn't know when we talked to you again this one just came through on the go line it's let's be honest a chance for uh people to get The question's answered by living, breathing lesbians. And in a hetero marriage or pregnancy situation, it's very exciting when all of a sudden the boobs get big. Very excited for the partner. I speak on behalf of all men. And someone wanted to know if women feel the same. And you're saying not the case.

No, I'm more into like the androgynous look. Cool. So you're saying that. I also really like blondes. If we're going to go down this road. Thanks so much, honey. So you're saying that nothing... Whatever's the polar opposite of me.

The exact opposite of Allie is what you're into. That's what you're getting at? Into blonde thems. All right, great. All right, well, that's... Blonde nondescript. That has been a very honest edition of Let's Be Honest. Well, thank you very much.

Let's be honest. Love you. Love you. To the test. She's the very best. Let's be honest. You got a question she'll address Come on, shake your breasts

Lesbians All right, there you have it. A speed round of Lesbianist. Man, that was insightful, to say the very least. Should have been faster. Yeah, got those answers. Leah, we'll get into your takeaways and wrap up the show and all that coming up on KROQ.

Thank you, Paradox. We are Klein Alley Show, KROQ, and we'll wrap things up with some takeaways from today's show, things you may bring with you into your world. I'm not looking forward to what I have planned after the show today, so already I would like to trade. In fact, that drive to Arizona to go to the Buc-ee sounds better than what I

just realized. What do you have to do? I got this couples therapy thing that's been on Zoom the entire time since we started doing it, but the therapist is in town, and apparently she is coming over to have an in-person session at our house. Wait, a house call? It's going to be so awkward.

Do it at Buc-ee's. I didn't know that was a thing. I thought usually you go to their office or something like that. I don't think she's California-based. I didn't realize that. Anyway, she's in town. I was not a part of this planning, which makes me think I'm about

to be blindsided. What do you mean? I feel like the two of them... You think it's going to be a naked model? I just think the two of them came up with a plan and I was not involved in the plan, so now it feels like I'm walking in and I'm covered in this stupid oil and glitter, so I'm going to rush home.

I don't have time. It's happening right after the show today. Oh, it is? Yeah, I gotta rush home because she's, you know, got a limited window before she has to fly out of here or something.

So now I gotta go, I'm covered in oil, I'm gonna show up looking all dis- smelling like cheeseburgers. You're overthinking it. Yeah, you gotta shift that thunder from down under.

I've won so many points in therapy. I'm winning this whole thing. Every week, the Zoom ends, I feel great about myself. I go, I won this round, definitely no question. Well, now you look great.

I win every round. Now you look like you feel. And this woman, I can tell, I need to have this therapist because she's like, she gets to hear the crazy too, you know? So she's like, yeah, this guy's on to something. And then she's going to see you in person and be like,

oh, God, I was so wrong about him. Right, I'm afraid it's going to all be undone. I think if you put back on the little shirt. I'm not putting back on the tank top. Come on, put it back on the tank top. Just say you work in radio. You host a wacky morning show radio show, and then she'll totally understand.

Yeah, play her a clip. Does anyone have a collared shirt I could borrow? I need to get a collared shirt. If I don't walk in wearing a collared shirt. No, that looks like you're trying too hard. I know, but the problem is... You can't look like you're trying. If I go in covered in oil and glitter, she's going to...

You're not covered in oil and glitter. Yeah, make her a mimosa. You look fine. Someone says I look like a West Hollywood bartender. Yeah, make her some drinks. Not anymore. That's my permanent look now. You're going to shake a shake of some drinks up.

Shake a shake of. So let's figure out who wins couples therapy today. Score will be updated tomorrow. Let's do takeaways from today's show. What do we got? 818, my takeaway is your greyhound bus ride may come with spinal meningitis. That was a crazy story. 424, my takeaway is Arby's.

We have the herb. 818, Vanessa hates messy. And Klein looks like every bobblehead. Thank you. 213, kaka, ayudame. 650, the moon has great representation. And 626, my takeaway is thank you, Clive Davis and Kenny G, for all the great hold music. Man, if it was not for Clive Davis, you'd be sitting around listening to your own thoughts instead of the sweet sounds of this man.

And now we can all sit on hold for hours. forget why we even called to begin with. It's a beautiful thing. 415 thinks that you're going to have a threesome with your therapist.

Definitely not. I mean, that's an interesting problem. I never thought of that. Definitely not. It's basically how every one of them start.

It's kind of like the therapist. House call. House call. Dude, come on. Well, I'm all oiled up. You're all oiled up. I'm already oiled up.

Man, this could be the greatest. Now you're excited. If this happens, it'll be the greatest afternoon of my life. Very excited. Guys, pray for me.

please. Send good vibes, Vanessa. Send good vibes. Good vibes. Takeaways from today's show. What do we have? Jake the Nerd, what's up? Klein makes a great gorilla fart. Thank you for that. If you don't know what we're talking about, you should listen to the entire show. That's in context or out

of context. What's your takeaway, Johnny? Klein's a churro. Thank you for that. Vanessa, takeaway? Klein looks messy in general. Is there anything not about me today? Allie, you have a takeaway from today's show? You look terrible. thank you

sorry that's what smart people say Omar you have a take away that Klein's a big bib baby big big baby hey these burger bibs Jake did you get any burgers on your shirt when you were doing the yeah these burger bibs

the future man these are great they are the future the future and the past have a good day we'll do it tomorrow try to do it better if you do this in the meantime You can find us on the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. Sluggo's in here in a moment. He's got more spots on that bus to go see Royal Otis.

And then he'll have more chances this afternoon with Kevin Ryder. All right, have a good day. Bye. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Do-do-do. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. Wow. Klein and Allie, it's just okay.

Do-do-do-do-do-just okay. Do-do-do. All right, this episode of Klein and Allie's show, the podcast, has come to an end. But if you haven't heard the big news, we are now on YouTube. That's right. Mr. Beast and us, the two most important things on YouTube. We're YouTube sluts now, and we're proud of it. You can watch the show.

We recommend you do. In fact, it makes us look good to the bosses and the people who make decisions around here. So please, even if you don't want to see what we look like, and I don't blame you, if you could, go to KROQ's YouTube, subscribe, maybe even leave a comment or two under some of our videos, and you can watch us live every single morning on YouTube and watch the show after the fact when they upload it as a real big afterthought. And of course, you can always follow us on Instagram at Klein Alley Show and listen to the live show on the radio at KROQ 106.7 on the Odyssey app

or probably a better app. God, what have you done?