Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein Getting Shredded by Summer

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. k rockline alley show uh i sent an email to you guys back in i forget february maybe and i said i'm gonna finally put myself in some sort of a goal and the goal will be shred by summer and

apparently summer is now officially here so i can't delay this anymore well you even sent follow up emails like updating all of us on your shredded by summer yeah because the uh vanessa would say are there any updates and sadly i was trying i don't think anyone was asking for up yeah vanessa asked for updates and i would and i would vanessa right i asked for life updates well that's all i had your life was getting shred shred but what i learned and this is the sad reality that we're going to prove in a moment because i'm going to show you a before picture and a current picture and what we're going to learn is that really there's been no change that's the sad reality well even i've seen videos of us doing shows from months ago and you look much smaller and sicklier

Yeah, sicklier, but I feel like now there are certain people that look good in different levels of being in shape, and I don't think I'm one of those people. Well, I think it's because you didn't get shredded. You just did the bulk part of it. That's right. And you foregoed the shredded. That's right. You have to go through a lean phase, too.

I didn't do it the right way, and I tried a bunch of things. I've written down all of the things I attempted to do, and there's a lot of protein. This is nuts. uh so um klein owns one kettlebell and decided to take it everywhere i bought a kettlebell and brought it with me lots of places and then when i would just stand around and wait for things like my kid to finish soccer practice i would just stand there and play with the kettlebell people would look at me like i was weird but i did that for a while i ate uh try to try to eat 200 grams of protein minimum a day uh and i think i far exceeded that number don't you have protein ice

cream i did actually yes i did you did protein coffee protein honey protein ice cream yeah all the proteins what other protein items have you purchased every single stupid thing with protein you did protein you're also doing a big creatine thing too right uh creatine protein snorting it for a while i did snort a lot of creatine to see if it did anything different it burns when we went to colorado you brought a bag of creatine with you and you were taking the creatine while we in Colorado. Yeah, that's right. And then I played around

with some of the injectables. I did some injecting. You sent me weird... What'd you do? A couple of different peptide things that are supposed to help muscle growth while you sleep. Notice, I was always trying

to find ways to avoid actually doing real work. Did you do steroids ever? No, didn't do steroids. I didn't want to... You didn't want to change? The side effect of shriveling your nuts

was too much for me to bear. Oh, I see. I didn't want to do that. Apparently... any growth hormones that's different from steroids right uh well no but the the current protein that i'm taking apparently is filled with growth uh it's from another country supposedly i think if you were going to do this for another two weeks you would reach like liver king status so that my concern is that a couple things one is because you guys animal parts because you guys shaved my

head as well i look a lot of people point out that i look like a meathead or like a like a wrestler that never made it like uh like one of those guys that a washed up and that was not the goal here the goal was shred by summer so i i promised you that i would come in here the first day of summer regardless of uh how everything looked and it doesn't say washed up wrestler by summer doesn't say washed up wrestler by summer you happen to wait huh weigh yourself at the beginning of the process and weigh yourself now? Yeah, 173 at the beginning,

193 now. Whoa! 20 pounds up. And a lot of people like to say, well, muscle weighs more than fat. Neck weighs more than muscle. I think it's 20 pounds of neck. I think I put on 20 pounds of neck.

It's at least 16 pounds of neck. So, you know, I did. Did I go to a gym? Not really. You guys saw some of the stuff I did. I lifted water jugs in my kitchen. I did a bunch of weird stuff. Yeah, you do push-ups in the studio on commercial breaks.

He still did them during the break. Some cold plunges from time to time. So now we're waiting for your reveal. So I'm going to go oil up behind the thing, Allie, and you guys can go ahead and mock me while I do. All right, Justin's going to oil you up. Yeah, Ginger Justin is going to volunteer to oil you up. Well, because he put the offer out there.

No, he's not oiling me up. Why turn down his offer? All right, new intern. No, we're not doing that. No one's oiling me up. I'll oil myself up. Thank you very much. Let Ginger Justin oil you up.

Someone needs to oil you up. You can't do it yourself. That's like a punishment for no reason. Vanessa, goddammit, Vanessa. Why is that a punishment for no reason? Why do we need to touch each other? Oil me up. I'll just say that.

I've been shooting Allie in the goddamn ass for the last two months with this. Oh, that's right. We did do that. Injecting Allie's ass. I didn't have a problem with that. I mean, I did have a problem with it. It's disgusting, but I did it because. I can oil you up.

You want me to oil you? No, no, because I'm going to, because then I need to reveal. I'm going to go hide behind this thing. You can't get your bag. Make sure you oil up those nips nice and oily. All right, I'll oil up the nips, but we're already late for the break. No, no, no, I'm talking to Allie. Oh.

Oh, yeah, I'll do that. Allie, oil up your own nips. Okay. Wait, mine and his? All right, here's... Well, I thought it was just Klein's, but... Yeah, two for one's fine. We have to take a break.

Now we're late. Now we're late. Okay. So you got to take a break. Go oil up, and we'll do your reveal when we get back. And then we're going to eat cheeseburgers. And everything... And every gain I possibly made will be completely undone.

So get ready. It's going to smell like tanning oil and burger. If you're not on YouTube right now, the reveal that no one has been waiting for and proof that doing everything you see on TikTok does not necessarily mean you will have any sort of results. This is a cautionary tale. I would love to get back all of those months wasted. And we'll come back with that next. K-Rock Road Trip USA 2020.

Oh, a lot of smells happening here in the studio. It's K-Rock. It's Klein Alley Show. It is Tuesday morning, and not only are there delicious burgers in the studio, there is a man half-naked behind the equipment right now. He's oiled up. Klein had a goal. He wanted to get shredded by summer.

He's been working out in all the wrong ways. He's been carrying kettlebells at his kids' soccer practice. He's been walking across his living room with giant jugs of water, and it has all led up to this moment. It was pretty impressive to see him oiling himself up behind the equipment here in the studio and see all the burger guys in the break room looking and laughing at him.

I have not seen Klein. He is about to do his big reveal. If you want to watch along on YouTube, you go to KROQ's YouTube right now and you can see Klein's naked body. And let's do the big reveal now. Klein wanted to be shredded by summer. Here he is.

He's definitely sucking in. And he is very oiled up and shaven. First of all, why are you laughing? Why is the first reaction laughing? Because you're puffing your chest up like a bird. You just made some big... Look normal. I just wanted to eat the hamburger.

Hold on one second. Thank you, Omar, for this music. It's lovely. Whatever this oil is Vanessa got stinks so bad. It smells so bad. It's weird because the burgers smell really good, and then that smells really bad. And Vanessa, I think this is going to get me canceled for being racist.

I think I've gone full black body. I've gone black body. I'm going to need your muscles to beat the fire. You're so shiny. I've not gone black face. I've gone black body. Wait, stand up again. And you have to do some muscle poses.

Yeah, your muscle poses. Do some Arnold Schwarzenegger stuff. Johnny, I don't want to post this stuff. Do one where both of your, that accentuates your neck. Listen, this, once again, this was a fail. The experiment was a fail. Do your module man impression. Oh, yeah.

Big fail. But, Ali, I know you're alive. Why is some of your chest shaved more than the other? I don't know. This morning was the reveal day, and I forgot about it until this morning. So I didn't do the thing. What thing? I was going to shave my chest, and I did it half-assed at 4 in the morning.

Oh, got it. So my question is, seriously. Where are your nipples, by the way? He's got tiny nipples. He's self-conscious about it. One of my many birth defects is that I was born without nipples. Like, tiny little nipples. Like, I had baby, infant nipples.

They are very small. So anyway. So anyway, this is me. Love me or hate me, this is who I am. The point of all of this is to, I think there's a lot of people out there trying to motivate you to do stuff. It's a waste of time and energy to try to do anything. Right, Allie? No.

Oh, I thought we were going to get fat together now. Your neck looks so much bigger without your shirt on because of your shoulders. I thought it would have looked smaller. No. Someone said you look like Wolverine's, like a Timu version of Wolverine, like his weird stuff. I think the 562 said it best. I've seen enough.

So thank you. Thank you. Well, let's put some butter knives in between your knuckles. You could be like Wolverine. Cool. I do feel his smell is nauseating. Yeah, no F. I mean, I'm very easily nauseated right now, and the burgers were actually, I didn't mind at all, the smell of the meat and the cheese.

but then you came in with this body butter. Yeah. It's a terrible smell. Reclined in oil. In oil. So there you go. In shimmery lady oil.

You're looking good, man. You look like a churro. Thanks. Thanks, Johnny. That's the goal. Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. That's the goal

I was looking for. So anyway, if you watch the show on YouTube, this is what I'll be wearing every day this summer. This exact outfit. So get used to it.

Oiled up and greased up. So you're just going to stay shirtless now? I don't think I can put my shirt back on over this paint that I put on my body right now. And the weirdest part about it is

on some days, not a lot of people walk by the K-Rock studios, but today, happens to be a full house here. I will say your shoulders and arms look very good. It looks like you kind of gave up in the lower waist area. Thank you. I told you. Did you do core stuff? No. Oh. That's too hard. Okay. Because it looks like you

were only working on like two body parts. Yeah, that's about right. But they look great. I think you look very good. It's just you know, I think you kind of have to do an all over situation. I don't like this version of Klein. I like Does any part of you Let's take old Klein and grease him up Old Klein was plenty greasy

Wait, does any part of you as a lesbian Does any part of you say You know what, now after seeing this I can see myself into men again Think about that before you gag Give it a little shake, Klein Soak it in You have so much hair under your armpits

Soak that in Oh yeah I'm actually jealous This stupid part Because of all the hair? This stupid part of the show can come to an end. And we'll get into a different stupid part of the show. And it's going to get even dumber, believe it or not, after this.

Is that Lionel Messi in the studio? Someone asked me that. Someone called you Linoleum Messi. Okay, great. Thank you for that. Everyone, I wanted to know if your wife actually likes this. Oh, God, no. Does she think you're hot?

No, no, no. Hates it. So she liked your body before when it was emaciated? She said that she liked that I didn't care about anything. Yeah. And now she thinks I'm annoying. So, I said, yeah. So, are you going to keep going or are you going to actually give up?

No, I'm going to eat three cheeseburgers in a second. Okay. All of that. Now, we're going to get shredded cheese by summer. Yeah. After this one, this was the shredded by summer challenge. Hey, Vanessa, as a straight woman. Honestly, I think your arms look great.

Oh, here we go. The arms look good. I got arms and shoulders. Clang, good job. I'm proud of you. Vanessa, I'm going to take you to HR after the show. I'm going to pick you up and take you to HR. I'm going to pick you up and bench you over to HR after this.

You know what I'm saying? Okay, so Vanessa, you're a little worked up. I'm not worked up. I was giving you a compliment. What is Rambo? Oh, Vanessa, Rambo. Thank you for saying that. Did you work on your chest?

I tried. Thanks, Allie. Tried a lot. Not easy. It's not easy. I'm just going to get implants, I think. Everyone else. You should get breast implants like Jake.

Oh, man. If it was you but had Jake boobs, that would be ideal. 3-2-3 has said, please, I'm laughing so hard at work, just stop. How does that make you feel? Not great. That was not the goal here. But anyway, the point is, I think a lot of times in the social media world we live in, you only see like, I did this, and now I'm succeeded.

And you get a lot of what I believe is like unrealistic, oh, that was easy. I think it's important to see some fails along the way as well. You know what you could do is you could completely lie and say, I ate only pizza for three months straight, and this is what happened to my body. It's not that much of a lie. I love you. Oh, Vanessa. That was recorded, Vanessa.

Vanessa, listen. I don't say I love you. Listen to me. Hey, it's okay. We work together. I'm married, the whole thing. You're single. I get it.

No, I don't say I love you. I know, but you just said it to me, though. I give it a little chimi-chimi. All right, if you want it. You want a motorboat client? Vanessa, is this okay? Why are you moving like that? Vanessa?

Vanessa? Can we do the next segment please Okay we're going to do the next segment A Mexican cutie You do look like a Mexican cutie It's just the oil A churro Thank you guys

You got the pass today That's right I got the pass Right after this in the studio Jake the Nerd blindfolded Can he figure out which burger is which As we spotlight some of the best burgers That you can actually be eating and ordering During Burger Week Los Angeles

That is after this on KROQ