Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein Goes to See The Odyssey

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This will be a very unpopular opinion, and I feel bad even saying this out loud, Alley,

because I don't want to ruin the plans you have for yourself for later, but Omar kind of ruined my plans, so I will share with you. I went and saw Odyssey, finally went and saw the Odyssey the right way on the IMAX. Nice reclining seats, went all the way back, giant bucket of popcorn. Put M&M's in it? No, I didn't. I messed up. But I was ready for, you know, I was all ready to sit down and enjoy the 6 p.m. showing.

Was it sold out? It appeared, yeah, it looked sold out. The guy, my friend had the tickets. He bought them, he said, three and a half weeks ago. And this was the first normal time he could even get into an IMAX screening event. Wow, that's interesting because I am going to see the movie tomorrow solo. And I was, it was all blue dots. I was the first person that bought a ticket.

IMAX or regular? No, just regular. Oh, so that's my point. You know what happened when I went to see it, and I went to see it on Monday, a lot of the seats said that they were taken, but I arrived at the theater, and it was way empty. I bet Christopher Nolan's buying them all. You think Nolan's buying them all? Maybe he is. Maybe he's all like, yeah, trying to hype it up even more.

And what's the matter to him? He's got the money, right? If he just goes and spends a couple thousand, he'll go ahead and make theaters feel full. Just to have the headlines say sold out, sold out, sold out. This one seemed pretty full, and it's interesting because, you know, because it's so long, there's certain parts in the movie where you're supposed to go to the bathroom if you have to go. Are these just known? I guess they're known. Like, there's one if you have to go at 57 minutes, there's a place where they say it slows down for a little bit.

There's another one at 153. And I guess people knew because at those moments in the movie, you would see, like, six people from different places get up and, like, rush out to go. But Omar was the first. Everyone had said, all I heard was, this is an epic movie. This is unbelievable. This is movie magic at its finest. No AI was used. Everything was really done.

So you can't just go in and say, yeah, it looked cool, but they did it on computer. Yeah, it wasn't CGI. How not? They said they used barely any CGI. And that was how amazing it was. But, I mean, we read some of the reviews when that movie came out and compared them to the Odyssey, our company Odyssey reviews. And it was just night and day. So people said it was crazy good.

I don't know what the Rotten Tomatoes score is. Everyone said it was amazing. And, you know, I got caught up in the hype of the whole thing. So I went. The first person that, really the only person at all, other than saying it was long, that said, eh, overrated, was Omar, who saw it a couple days ago. And he said, I don't want to ruin your time, man, because I know you're going to go. But it's fine. It is what it is.

It's whatever. And I go, eh, that's just Omar. I'm not going to listen to Omar. He's trying to. That's true. I'm like that about a lot of things. And I went in with a positive attitude. I was ready.

I wanted to be wowed. I know. Yeah, that is strange. I said, wow me. You just walk in there smiling like a weirdo? Yeah, I was ready to go. Look, I was ready. And I also was thinking to myself, I have not made it through a movie without falling

asleep in a long time. Well, a lot of times, though, you're seeing kids' movies with kids. And I don't mind. I'll pay the $12, $19 just to lay in an air-conditioned thing and go to sleep. To me, that's worth more than a movie. And also, your attention span, I don't know if you can make it through a movie anymore. I think the last movie you watched, you watched in like five different parts in 20-minute increments. Yes, it's hard for me to sit still.

And he fell asleep like three times during Minions. Okay, thank you, Johnny. No need to share that with everyone. Three times is a lot. That movie's not very long. Three times. I woke up. They were still doing some weird stuff, the yellow people.

I went back to bed. That's it. Are you snoring during that? Was I snoring? I mean, I elevate. I think I'm elevated enough that the snore's not coming, but yeah. This one, I'll say right now, I learned two things about myself very quickly. One, I think some of this stuff I was supposed to have learned in school at some point.

Yeah, we studied the book in school, or the poem, or whatever. I knew nothing that was happening and nothing that was going to happen. So I was completely blind going into this, even though I thought to myself throughout, I probably should know these players. these players. You didn't know anything about the Trojan horse? The horse is the one thing that I kind of knew that they snuck in inside the horse's belly. That was a small part of the movie.

There was another two hours, two and a half hours plus. It was not the horse. And I was going, I didn't know any of this stuff. So either they made it up. But that's great. Well, it was great. Witnessing everything for like the first time? You don't need to know. Here's the problem. They don't have modern names. So I had a really hard

time. Modern names? Dude, one of the criticisms of this movie is that it's too modernized. So, for you, it was not modern enough? Yes, that's right. Yeah, for a few reasons. Like, I should have been named John. Yeah, exactly. Odysseus is too tough.

I could not keep track. I'd call Poseidon Paul. Yeah. They were talking. Listen, Ali, you'd be in a scene, and they would say, like, Scott Sopulia was fighting with Super Chopper John, and I would go, I can't keep track of these people. Right.

And Odysseus and Poseidon. And Zeus I could keep track of because it's one syllable, but I don't even see Zeus in the movie. And I couldn't keep track of the names. They should have worn name tags on screen or something to show. Oh, or like a little title card that's like, here's this person. Right. Like a Netflix documentary.

Who they were talking about. And I'm not just saying because I'm slow and dumb. For the average person, I could see other people in the theater look confused as well. You know, they should do dum-dum screenings. They should do dum-dum screenings. Where they just, they do like kind of an explanation of what's going on. Sort of like the Mickey Mouse thing is moving along as you're singing along. Because I didn't know who was a person and what was a land.

They would talk about so-and-so is sailing to, it was like. Yeah, but with Game of Thrones, you probably experienced that too. So this is what I, this is my take on the movie overall. It felt like a very, very long episode of Game of Thrones. Well, that's good, right? And some of those Game of Thrones episodes were really cool. And some of them you're like, this one was a lot of setup, but not a lot of action. A lot of walking through a garden.

Yeah, there was interesting stuff here. But also, as I'm watching it, it made me feel dumb, and I don't like movies that make me feel dumb, which I think is why a lot of movies, they've dumbed everything down for the general population. I think there should be some sort of a test you have to take before you can even see this movie, and they don't let people in. Oh, just to be able to answer some basic questions about history? Yeah, because I was having a real hard time, and I just kept in my mind, because I'm so simple, I was like, oh, that's cool. oh, there's the Juno kid in there. Elliot Page. Right, and then I was like,

oh, that's the girl from Euphoria is in there. Zendaya. Right. Too much of that stuff. There's a lot of it. That's what I thought from the beginning, and I have not seen it. I plan on seeing it tomorrow,

but my initial reaction was there are way too many A-listers in this for me to really be taken into the story. It's just, okay, here's this A-lister, this A-lister, and then you're just constantly thinking about the celebrities that are in it rather than the story itself. And the one thing I will agree about this movie

that Johnny feels the same way is that there is no sweet knockers at all. Yeah, there was one part where you thought this isn't going to ruin anything. They cruise by some rock and there's some mermaids on there. I was going to say, isn't that a sexual part of the sirens?

And you go, here we go now. This is good. They're sexy singing sirens. This guy's got to tie himself to the boat because he's going to be so horny when he sees these hot mermaids. And then all of a sudden, that stupid weather forecast,

they're in fog or some crap. The overcast comes in and it covers the whole entire mermaid's body. I was so excited. And I go, here we go, baby. Let's go. And it's the rocks of mermaids. And by the way, they're all talking about the mermaids.

Oh, we're going to see some mermaids. Really? Yeah, these guys have been at sea for a while. They're all horned up. About to see some mermaids. This is where the mermaids happen. And I'm like, here we go, baby. I felt like one of the sailors.

I felt like I'd been on the boat for nine hours. And I go, come on now. Here come the mermaids. And then it was all of a sudden some fog blows in. Right. If they're going to modernize it for 2026, put some boobies in there. Yeah, if you're having enough of these A-listers popping up on screen, you can't get a Sidney Sweeney in a mermaid suit sitting on a rock. Maybe they could do a dumb-dumb version and a naked version.

Yeah, I just feel like it was a fail. Christopher Nolan, you hear that? A fail. Not one of his best. But I will say that the funniest part is the running of the people after the movie to the bathroom is a hilarious thing to watch. Oh, I did that. For sure. It is like the running of the bulls in Spain.

You see, everyone is, you know, usually there's like some sort of a pleasant exiting of the theater. Every single person, the second that title card goes up, is it a full-blown sprint? I mean, a sprint to the bathroom. Oh, yeah. And it is just hilarious to watch it happen. There's no bloopers at the end? So you got to wait for the bloopers. I didn't stick around.

That would have been great if you said all the credits and then there's like a whole scene with the mermaid. Guys, the fog. Oh, my God, my boobs. I wanted to leave that theater You remember how you left after Braveheart Or after Shawshank Redemption Or after Gladiator I wanted to leave feeling like that

And I didn't leave feeling like that But I didn't sleep, didn't fall asleep for even a second You didn't? I did not, which is surprising So that's one thing I heard Is that it doesn't feel like a three hour movie It does not, the pacing is great It goes fast, really fast

It's a pretty long story So things are happening long ass story but if someone were to say to me right now explain what you just saw other than the horse part i could not tell you one other it's like i i don't know any one involved i could tell you things like oh there was a thing with a cyclops guy but i could not possibly like explain who any of the people if you were to say right now a million dollars you think i don't know the names of co-workers here if you were to say to me right now who was the main character uh in the movie really i mean i would say matt damon probably but i don't know maybe that's why they use

celebrities yeah because you're like okay that's anna hathaway that's mad damon i remember those names someone forced that i'm with klein i only knew about the horse before the movie and after yeah and i feel like there's teachers that have taught this i i remember at some point the iliad or the odyssey or some some must read something or other it's called the odyssey well but there's i think another one a prequel or something there is another there is the iliad is a thing homer simpson wrote the whole thing i i listen the point is i don't know much about it and i feel like I, after seeing it, I would have thought I would know more. I know, I think I know less.

I think these movies just aren't for you. They're not for, yeah, like I'm too. But like Oppenheimer wasn't for me. I just felt like that was the same. It was just a bunch of white guys and I couldn't keep track of who was doing what and they were talking about Adams all the time and I was lost. I didn't care about it. So, man, it's just not for you. 626 said there's

no clam slam in the Odyssey. That's true. Now I am going to refund my ticket. We have to, so enjoy it, Allie. I think that, I think you will enjoy it. Now I don't want to see it. Now I think I'm going to do a swap out for Spider-Man. The woman next to me who reminds me of a U-type was like, I could hear her

vocally being like, oh my god, this is great. Oh, this is so good. Like she, I think you'll appreciate it. You didn't tell her to shut up? A couple times I thought about it. You remind me of my annoying co-worker. She was mesmerized by the whole thing.

She's one of those people that didn't stand up and run to the bathroom at the end. She was reading the credits. And she would be appalled by the boobs if they were being shown. quick break we're back with more show next year news and then a new hour can begin