Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein Meets His Hero

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Good news, Alley.

A guy who claims he dressed as a doctor one year for Halloween has given you the A-OK to take the high-voltage food review. Oh, thanks. So, that guy, if you are tied loosely to anyone in the medical field and would like to give Alley permission to put on the shock collar and be part of the tasting of the high-voltage food review, let us know. Right now, the most official word we have is from a guy who one time dressed like a doctor, a gynecologist, more specifically, for his Halloween costume. Yes, but 626 said they've watched Grey's Anatomy and can now say that I should not do the challenge based on what they've seen. So if you're tired and you have any sort of a medical clearance, regardless of how loose it may be, let us know before we do the high-voltage food review coming up later this hour. On Saturday, this weekend, I had one of the most exciting, exhilarating things happen to me that I could have ever imagined.

Because after years and years and years of coming close but never actually making contact with my boyhood idol, I got a chance to meet Magic Johnson. And I grew up a huge Lakers fan, even though I was on the East Coast, but specifically a Magic Johnson fan. I thought, to me, there was no Michael Jordan, Larry Bird. I thought they were all losers. Oh, you thought Michael Jordan was a loser? Most of my friends liked Michael Jordan. And then a few of the racist ones were just big fans of Larry Bird.

Was this like the equivalent of, for girls, Backstreet Boys or NSYNC? It was like you had to pick? And they all hated each other? Most people, growing up, if you grew up in the 80s, 90s, like Jordan was obviously, you know, He was the great, and everyone loved Jordan, but all these people were walking around wearing Bulls starter jerseys, and it was all Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. I liked Magic.

I thought the Showtime Lakers were exhilarating to watch. I thought they were more fun, and I liked Magic because he was not, in my opinion, he was not the ball hog. He was never a look-at-me guy. He was just a good team player. He was a good team. He made the guys around him better. I always respected that.

He wasn't a guy that was, I'm going to hog the ball, and I'm going to put up 50 points. it was, let me see if I can break the assist record by being the guy who makes everyone else on the team look better. Right, so it was kind of like a LeBron versus Curry modern day. Similar-ish, I guess. I mean, Curry still shoots a lot, but

yeah, I just thought that, I always liked Magic. I always loved him, grew up. Did you have pin-ups of him? Pin-ups? I wouldn't call him pin-ups, Allie, because he wasn't wearing a bathing suit. It was definitely not pin-ups. But I did have posters, like a man would have, on his

wall yes at night i did have no i did not but i did mostly my walls were covered with magic johnson stuff magic johnson jerseys magic johnson i think i went as him for halloween two maybe three years didn't go full face wow just went just wore the jersey just wore the jersey and i had a basketball um and uh didn't didn't fully commit no no none of those things uh but you know so how many times have you heard me? Probably the only person I've heard you talk about on more than one occasion

that you like. But over the years, how many times have I had a close call? Like, oh, I heard that I was somewhere. Oh, like you went to an event that you were at. Yeah, there was a time

I ran out of the locker room in a towel because I was told he was downstairs at this gym I was at because I was so excited and missed him again. Kept missing Magic Johnson.

Kept missing him. And I wanted to be an organic. I didn't want to be one of those things where I said, Vanessa, book Magic Johnson to come on the show because that would have felt really... You want it to happen organically.

That makes sense. So on Saturdays, I'm at a movie theater. Just finished watching, and by watching, I mean sleeping, during the Acme vs. Roadrunner movie because I've run out of things to do with my kids. And we're leaving the theater. And if you're wondering, Omar, why I look so special needs, it's because I was asleep, deep sleep,

and nothing against the movie. I'm sure it was great, but I was in a reclining seat, and I fully fell asleep. Those reclining seats, they are great, but it is hard to stay awake, Even during a really good, exciting movie. So you're looking at a guy who was in a deep sleep about five minutes before that picture was taken, and you can tell. And I have my stupid hooded sweatshirt hanging over my head like an idiot, and I didn't realize what was going to happen.

But as I leave the movie theater, I get in the elevator with my family, and I hit the button. And as the doors start to close, I see through the closing doors, not waiting for the elevator, but kind of walking through the lobby, a figure that for like a split second, I go, I think that's Magic Johnson. But I wasn't sure, but I go, I'm not going to miss this chance again. So I throw my hand out there, stop the doors from closing, and just run up. And I don't usually, you know me, I don't approach celebrities. Wow, you ran right up to him? Ran right up to him. And I'm only seeing him from behind.

So I said, this is either going to be an incredibly embarrassing moment for me, or it's going to be, it was literally a tenth of a second from me. You couldn't do the magic something just to make him turn around? I just, and I left my family in the elevator. I didn't even tell them what I was doing. I didn't say anything. I just ran out of the elevator, left my family in the elevator, ran up, see him from behind, tap his shoulder.

Tap his shoulder. You touched him? Touched him. And I said, Omar, it's okay now. They're okay. I know what you're thinking. It's okay. And he turns around, and I see him, and it was like I'd never been more starstruck, horny.

So you're the guy from my pinups. He just kissed you at night. I said, Magic, I'm sorry to bug you. And he's got that big, infectious smile. He's one of these guys that always seems like he's in a good mood. Always. Wouldn't you be? Turns around.

Yeah, yeah. He's got that big smile, and I say, I'm so sorry to bug you. Because now I realize, now it's hit me. I'm not a fifth grade boy now. Now I realize I'm a grown-ass man, tapping him on the shoulder, but acting like a child. Still as tall as you probably were in fifth grade. Same height, but he's very tall, and I say. Was he going to, do you think he was going to the same movie as you or anything, or this was at a mall?

I think he was going, no, it was at a movie theater, but I think he was going up to validate, you had to like put your parking in to prepay the parking. You always got to get validation, even if you're Magic Johnson. So I say, I'm sorry to bug you, I just, you were, you were my boyhood idol or some stupid thing like that. I said, I didn't think it through, and I shut up, because for 20 years I wanted to meet this guy, you know, 30 years. Yeah, but in the moment, you can't think straight. And he goes, oh, he goes, I was? I go, yeah. I go, I moved to L.A., you know, whatever, 20 years ago.

Always thought one day I'd run into you, and here we are. And he's like, here we are. And I had nothing. And you're like, I always dreaded that this day would come, that I would meet Kevin Kline. And at that time, luckily, my family, you know, came after me out of the elevator. and then he sees my kid. He ditched your family? Yeah, I ditched him in the elevator.

Oh, yeah, I ditched him. They brought that up later. So they went all the way down and had to go all the way back Yeah, had to come back up to me. And then luckily, thank God, because they found me

and my kid is there. She's got a cast on her arm because she broke her wrist and Magic, of course, Wait, was your wife with you or they were alone in the elevator? No, my wife was there too. I didn't leave

just my kids in the elevator. And they come up to me now and Magic lights up even bigger because now there's kids there and he says to, my daughter. He goes, oh, how'd you break your arm? And she actually broke it playing basketball.

So my wife's like, oh, she broke it playing basketball. He's like, oh, man. He's like, you gotta stick with it. You gotta get on the sparks, the whole thing. And she goes, who's this? This is what Bruiser says to me. And I said, this is daddy's favorite basketball player of all time, Magic Johnson.

And she looks at him and she looks at me and she goes, no, it's not. And I said, yes, Sienna, this is Magic Johnson. This is, and I've shown her, I've got Magic Johnson cards. She goes, no, it's not. Magic Johnson is dead. What the hell?

This is what she says. No, no, no, he almost died. She says to me and to him, it's not Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson's dead. And what was his reaction? One of the greatest reactions ever. He laughs and smiles and he goes, I'm not. And let's take a picture, all of us, to prove it.

Oh, what a good line. Which is a great line. and so they all get in. We take the picture. I didn't realize how ridiculously stupid I looked in this picture because I was half asleep, but also I was, you know...

Were you high? I think I took a gummy before the movie. Okay, because you kind of had a glazed look on your eye. And then I keep saying, and Sienna won't let it go, so now we're kind of... You're dead, I tell you, dead! And she keeps going...

She keeps saying he's dead because she couldn't fathom how a guy that was an adult when I was a kid and now that I'm an adult, couldn't figure that out, the math. But also,

I think Magic looks, to be honest, the guy's 67 now. He looks almost the exact same as he does in every, I mean, not all the cards, but a lot of the cards

I have of him playing basketball, he looks kind of the same. He's a similar looking guy. Is this a situation where you had to find a bypass, a person to take

the picture for you? So, that can be awkward. Yeah, so he actually said, I'll give Magic credit, he did the whole thing. And by the way,

his wife, Cookie, was there too, with him um and he said she didn't take the picture though but he said some other guy was like kind of hovering you could tell wanting to get in there too that kind of opens the floodgates yeah and i felt bad doing that so um but he took the picture couldn't have been nicer and then uh we pull out of the parking garage he ended up pulling out after us and then he drove next to our car and did the roll the window down thing and he just gave the family another wave and i almost crashed my car into the car in front of me but it was minus the fact i looked ridiculous and

then i couldn't wait to see the pictures and then i realized in every picture my wife and kids go why do you look like that yeah you should just ai a different face on you and i and now i finally get the picture with the only person i've ever wanted to take a picture with my entire life and i look could not look dumber or more yeah you need weird you need to do something about the way you look in photos it's just not working out i i don't know if there's like a smile coach or someone you can like talk to we need like an influencer who can tell you exactly what to do or not do in order to take a normal photo because it's not even that you're smiling it's just to to look normal.

I just want to look normal. You just got to relax your face. You and Allie both get mad at me when I take photos of you guys and you're like, ugh, not this one. I don't look good. But it's like,

that's just what you look like. You just got to relax your face. But I said to myself as I'm standing there with Magic Johnson, I said, don't screw, I literally gave myself the pep talk.

Don't screw this up, man. This is the only one you cared about. And then I get the pictures back and there's about four of them and they're all, it starts bad and I go,

the next one will be better. Worse, worse, even worse. Did you tell him that it was my uncle. And I said, I know your niece, Allie Johnson. That was a lie

that I used to tell him. And so anyway, it was, everything was great up until the fact that my kid looked at him and said, you're dead.

It was great up until the moment where you talked to him and took a picture of him. I should have just watched him walk through the elevator. I should have just

let the elevator close and said, let him get his parking validated and move on with his life. So when they say never meet your heroes, I stand by that statement.

You never should. High Voltage Rude Review next on KRA.