Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein Won The Dumb-Off Before It Even Began (FULL SHOW 8/17)

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

It's finally here....the return of the Dumb-Off! We each compete in a tournament to determine who the dumbest person on the show is, and though there's a lot of debate on the fairness of the questions, the competition started with Johnny and Jake. They were each asked 7 questions, most of which had to do with eggs and chickens, and there was a clear (and predictable) winner. But it seems Klein has already won the title of dumbest person on the show because of how he dealt with a new medical issue with his ear. When his right ear got impacted with earwax, he decided to go to tiktok for answers. This left him with an ear full of olive oil and lavender this morning and drops of mystery fluid all over his shirt and headphones. We also announced our official ENDLESS SUMMER KEGGER! We'll be doing keg stands with Slightly Stoopid at the Back Bay Amphitheater at the Hyatt Regency Newport Beach on September 3rd. If you want in, listen all this week and next to win your tickets! Today we kicked things off by hearing your best summer injury stories, which resulted in invites for a woman who pulled her groin at a swinger party and a guy who tore his chest muscles during a drunken armwrestling competition.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. There's no such thing as balling into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Viva Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. You better fight or you will explode. Sometimes I need a good reason to get out of bed.

Got sleep in my eyes, clouds in my head. I need a shot of something to make my motor go. Yes, I do. Wow, I suck. I failed. Whoa, that is a giant gong. I got a jug of jizz. Flat crack. You could use a bit of a shot.

I said, get your motor running For the Klein and Allie Show. Thank you, Kyle. Go back to your farm. It's Klein and Allie Show. 106.7 KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous K-Rock.

There's the excitement we're looking for on a Monday morning. How the hell goes it? We are Klein and Allie Show. This is still K-Rock. I'm Klein and there's Allie. Good morning. That's DJ Omar Khan right there. Why are you screaming?

Am I? I don't even know if I am. You're talking so loud right now. Are you guys messing with me? I woke up. I have no... Why would I be messing with you? Jesus.

You guys are making fun of a handicapped man right now. I have woken up. I have no hearing at all. I'm completely deaf in one of my ears. Completely deaf. Yeah, why, you dumbass? I'm not going to go into the specifics as to why right now. Okay.

But I did some things that I read about on TikTok. Are your ears in oil? My ears are in oil. don't uh listen to tiktok doctors because they recommend olive oil and i put a lot of it in my ear and it has only made things much worse can't wait to get into this listen there's not much more to it other than the fact that i said to ali last week i said i i feel like i am uh like water falling wax out of my ear you said i think i'm getting some wax filled and ali said that's so hot i've never been more turned on than i am right now you know the ears have this natural mechanism

where they will take care of themselves and they need, you know, natural wax in them to actually function properly. Yeah, but what's interesting is that I had this same problem. Speak up, Allie. I had the same problem. Thank you. I talked to you about this last week.

You apparently didn't listen to me. No, I tuned you out pretty quick. You just flush it out with water, don't you? Or what's the thing? I said, you know, I've had this problem before. You go to a doctor, they flush everything out. And he said, okay, and then decided to go to TikTok and put a cup of olive oil in his ear,

and now I have no sympathy for you. Well, first of all, I didn't start with the olive oil. That was my third attempt to try to fix the problem. Are you sure you didn't just go in between videos and just some random recipe popped up? It may have been a recipe. All your ears sound delicious. I do have cottage cheese and hot honey in there, too.

I should point that out. Oh, watch out. To be honest, what happened was I said to myself, middle of the day yesterday, I never took care of that wax issue. Brand new week ahead, I don't want to go in all waxy. We got the start of the dumb off.

I want to be clean and ready to go. I want to hear every bit of Johnny and Vanessa struggling for answers in the dumb off. I grab some Q-tips, which I know they say don't do. But they always say don't do Q-tips in your ears. And no one listens because let's be honest. No one can hear. Right. No one can hear.

So I grab some Q-tips. I see them. I don't search for them. When I see them, I think to myself, ah, there's a Q-tip. I should jam that in my ear because I'm not. So you don't clean your ears on a regular basis? No. Right.

Pits and slits. That's all I clean. Nothing else in my body gets clean. If you're not a pit or a slit, I don't touch you. Well, they say this gets worse the more you wear headphones. What? And more people wear headphones now, so their earwax doesn't have the ability to get out of their ears. They'll drain.

And then earplugs at night can make it worse, too. The whole thing. So I see some Q-tips. I go, you know what? I should take care of that thing I yapped with Allie about last week. I grab it and jam it in there. All of a sudden, I go, well, that sucks. Whatever I just did, I did exactly what they warned you about.

You pushed it all in. Pushed it all the way in, blocking the complete ear canal, ear drum, whatever. So then I start going, all right, let me go to solve this problem once and for all. I go to TikTok, and I say, ways to clear wax out of my ear. Why is that your first go-to? I know. I would never, ever think to go there. That is so weird.

The first thing I do is I get a cup of- That's a great point. Yeah, you're not a 16-year-old girl. Or Vanessa. Yeah, what's wrong with you, man? I said to myself, what would Vanessa do right now? She'd go to TikTok. So I went to TikTok, and they say put a, first thing said get a lighter and heat up the area behind your ear with a lighter.

And the wax will get, well, why are you laughing at me? How are you just going to put a lighter up to your, all right. Not right against. I would have loved for you to try that first. I did try that first. And just to see half of your head singed off. I tried that. Did you burn all the thousands and millions of hair that's behind your ear?

I started to smell burning smell, and then I realized it wasn't doing anything. And then I looked at that video, it only had about three likes. And I said, this is a bad one to start with. So then I went to another one and had a lot of lice. That's how you determine medical accuracy is lice. Yeah, lice. And the guy in a lab coat in the second one, he said, all you need to do to clear out your ear is get some olive oil.

That's it. Simple. And the pharmacies don't want you to know about this because it's costing them millions of dollars. Okay. And so a couple of drops of olive oil or what you do here? Well, okay. Then he said two drops.

I said, I've got a lot of wax, so I'm going to fill up an entire thing with it. And I filled up an entire ear dropper with olive oil. So probably, I don't know, tablespoon maybe. Oh my God. And I turned my ear over, and then I shoved it all the way in, and I let it all loose. In both ears or just one? Just in one. And then I read afterwards, I didn't watch the whole video, he said, you're not supposed

to shove the thing into your ear, because that's just going to push the wax further in. I thought I need to get the olive oil in deep for it to work its way out. So now I've got an ear full of wax and olive oil. That was my step. And then another video- Now it's like creating some kind of super wax ball, I bet. Now it's at, I can't even hear out of this one at all, but now it said, don't do the

olive oil at all what you need is heart hydrogen peroxide but and i put that in the ear on top of the olive you're gonna make a bomb seriously i can't travel anymore you just have to put some c2 in there this morning i stopped at cvs and i got an actual ear drop thing but when i and i put that in but that i think just the main ingredient in that is oil again and now i'm back to where i started yeah well we got the text from you saying i'm gonna be late this morning because i have to go to cvs and i'm thinking what what can cvs do to help this problem they can't well you need to do what I told you at the beginning. It's just go somewhere

and have them flush it out for you. At this point, I'm not going to go to a doctor because I feel like I'm embarrassed as to what's going to come out of there because they're going to pull out an entire salad dressing out of my ear. Well, then that's your fault

that you're going to get... Because you're going to be embarrassed, you're just going to keep going to TikTok, which you've already embarrassed yourself. Hey, I got a lighter. Do you want to use it? Oh, we can go back to plan one again, I guess. Guys, I don't think we need

to do the dumb-off anymore. That's where you're wrong, Allie. That's where you're wrong. Round one, actually, is who can solve this ear problem. I solved it from the beginning. We'll get into your show and everything else we have in store for you

after Foo Fighters. I think it's playing now. I don't know. Is it on? You guys hear it? Hey, Raph, playing on the show. Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions coming through on the text line right now

to solve the problem we've started today's show with. But I'm sure it'll take care of itself, right? We don't need medical professionals. I love that you say it's our problem. What? We are starting out with this problem. Well, it's affecting us all. It's a you problem.

Yeah, it's a me problem. You're right. Well, if you hadn't been so, if you didn't tell so many goddamn stories, I would have listened to the advice you gave me on Friday. Blame me. Blame me. Is that oil on your shirt? Yes. He's a mess. I have oil dripping out of my ears.

I look like one of those volcanoes you bring to school for like a science fair. Jake walked in and called you gross. How do you feel? Not good. His headphones are just covered. I know, man. And he takes them off and they're all wet. In oil. Well, I've been putting so much stuff in there.

Apparently I have to give some sort of like an enema to my ear later or like put it in a bidet or something. fire water into it. Yeah, yeah. None of that's working. I did it because I had a squirt gun outside and I tried that last night as well with a water gun.

Looked like I was trying to kill myself with a squirt gun. Does your wife see all this happening and go, who have I married? She was disappointed in me.

Yeah. Well, not more so than normal. When you decided squirt gun. But she did say to me, why did you do all that stuff? I told you none of this was going to work. Right.

And she, after about the third or fourth thing, I said, I'll figure this out. She kept saying what you were saying. Just go to a doctor.

Yeah. Just go to a doctor. But that's what you women always say. So now you're just going to not go because you want to be stubborn? I'm like, no, I'm not going to not go because I want to be stubborn. I'm not going to go because I'm going to figure it out myself. I've got about 10 good suggestions on the text line. Yeah, do the newspaper thing.

Set a newspaper on fire? The Mexican remedy for this is just roll up a newspaper and burn it. I don't know how that applies. Scare it out. I don't know how that applies to my ear. 831 said you should cut your losses and buy a hearing aid. I may have to do that. That's good.

I see people in line at Costco. You're getting one of those cochlear implants. It's one of those few things at Costco I've never bought. The hearing aid. Yes, hello. Hi, James. Good morning. Hi, how are you doing?

What? He's doing great. I have a solution for your ears. I worked at a, it's called Erewhon, a marketplace, but they have, it's called beeswax. It's a big stick of wax, and you put it in your ear, and you put it sideways, and you light it on fire, and it sucks all the, everything out of your ear. All right. I'll throw that next.

Anything that's not normal. If TikTok can't help me, Erewhon. can. I'm going to go to that guy and light some beeswax on fire. More expensive than a doctor. Yeah, totally. I'm still doing it. It's a lot more fun. If you'd like Allie's money, you can call now and claim it. 800-520-1067. Keep in mind, if you're okay to take Allie's

money, she is the three-time defending champion of the dumb-off. So, you're taking money from someone that is scientifically proven as dumb on the show. Today, the dumb-off continues. It's round three, year three, annual tradition as everyone's going back to school now to figure out who is officially the dumbest person on this show.

And I know you're thinking, based on everything we've heard over the last 20 minutes it's clearly Klein but I haven't even been in the finals the last few years in the dumb off well you run the quiz no you get to you there's a day that I have to compete and you write the questions oh that's right so I hate that day right so I've competed like everyone else because I run bitches about the questions no matter what right so that'll be happening a little bit later this morning the dumb off I believe round one uh Johnny is the defending champion we'll be battling I think it's Jake today but we'll get into your dumb off a little bit later this morning Hey, guys. Five years longer here. I actually started listening after my wedding, and I started a job in a different town.

I remember listening to K-Rock for my drives. I have five years now going strong. I don't even live in the area anymore, and I'm still listening to you guys. I super appreciate it. Just something that came to mind, and I'm sorry to be negative, but does anyone else have these moments where they just say, Johnny, shut up? Johnny, just shut up. All right. Thank you, sir, for the constant feedback. We appreciate that. Five-year slogger, that guy, so I think we should listen to his words because he's put up with us for half a decade. If you'd like Allie's money, call now and claim it.

800-520-1067. That'll be after this quick break on KROQ. If you're just joining us this morning, there's a couple of things we should probably tell you about that we have not told you about just yet before we get into a round of Allie Knows the News. And if you'd like to get in on that, phones are 800-520-1067. If you'd like to battle Allie for 100 bucks of her money

and bragging rights for life, here's what we have for you today. Tickets for you to go to Just Like Heaven. That's happening at Brookside, the Rose Bowl. So that's a stacked lineup that includes The Strokes, LCD Sound System, Dayglo, and many, many others. And we will get you into that show coming up a little bit later this morning. We also will announce exactly what you need to know if you'd like to join us for our endless summer kegger, unofficially known as the Klein Alley Show Clam Slam. We have those details coming up for you later this morning.

We wanted to go ahead and see if on Friday, if we all got together and hung out, if fun could be had. And I would say a moderate to minimal amount of fun was had. I think everyone felt at first like, oh, man, I wish I could just go home. Right. But then by the end, we were really happy that we all went. Yeah, and Omar was unable to attend his own birthday party, so we were able to get a UPS guy to come in and play the role of Omar, and you can see. That guy seemed way more funner than I would ever be.

Yeah, he was great. He was no lame-o. So he stood there, and we gave him Omar's birthday cake and sang happy birthday to him, and that video's up on our Instagram right now at Klein Alley Show. So Omar, if he can't make it to show stuff, will be instantly replaced by the first person that walks by. And in this particular case, it was a lucky UPS driver. Yeah, but it was one of those situations where the pool's just sitting there and everyone's going, do we get in the pool? Do we not get in the pool? Do we eat first? And then you brought out tons and tons of food.

That weird artichoke thing you were serving. I wasn't serving that. That was a succulent that I put out because Vanessa likes succulents, but the thing died in the sun. I mean, I didn't think the succulents were supposed to die. Jake is so not used to going to anything social that I think he thought it was some sort of a food thing. It looked like it. Also, Jake was the first to arrive. I mean, got there, you know, right on time. Right at noon.

No one does that. Oof, yeah. I shut up at least five or ten minutes late. Circle the block a few times. Yeah. We'll get into all that later this morning, but we are going to have a funner summer with you, and that is why we are announcing the endless summer kegger. The detail is coming up in less than an hour, and then we will instantly start inviting you guys

so that we can all hang out one more time before the summer officially comes to an end. That's later this morning and much more. All right, let's get into this now. People want Ali's money. We say good morning to Eric in Upland. Hey, Eric, how goes it? Hey, how's it going? Five questions here about things happening in the news.

If you do better than Allie, she will pay you some money. Last week, she lost at least one time. And we hope that she pays you her money right now. So she's getting her bowl of slop and getting the hell out of the K-Rock studios right now. And your round will officially begin as soon as you hear this. Allie knows the news. Question number one. This hurricane that was freaking everyone out in Hawaii

has now officially been downgraded to a tropical storm. But what is this storm slash hurricane's name? I don't know. Want to take a guess? Any name will do. So, ISIS. ISIS? That is scary.

All right, we go to question number two. Which land, Disneyland, is about to get a major overhaul as announced at the big Disney conference, D23? Which land is going to get a major overhaul? Fantasy land. Fantasy land. We've got a question number three. This MLB pitcher who had a surgery named after him has sadly died. Tommy John.

Go to question number four right now. Spider-Man has officially been out for three weeks, and it has just officially globally crossed what number of tickets? I mean, this is how much money it's brought in in three weeks globally. What is the number it has just passed? One billion. One billion dollars. And finally, we go to question number five. Speaking of records, this stand-up comedian has just broken a Guinness World Record for the most tickets sold during a tour.

That's over 2,016,000 tickets sold, and that includes 128 venues over the course of 16 months. Which comedian has now set a brand-new Guinness record? Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle. All right, bring Allie in. We'll score it together. Once again, correct answers are all that matter here.

No one's ever going to get a perfect score. That's ridiculous. But if you can just get one more than Allie, she will pay you some money. Ties go to the house. Question number one, Allie is back in the KROQ studios. She's playing for two because she is pregnant. Question number one. By the way, I didn't think you looked that...

You were in your bathing suit on Friday. You didn't look that pregnant at all. Well, I definitely have looked that bad. I've seen you look so much worse in bathing suits when you were not even pregnant. This is true, yeah. I mean, compared to before I was pregnant, I look much bigger, but yes. Question number one. This hurricane that was freaking everyone out in Hawaii has officially been downgraded to a tropical storm.

What is this storm's name? Lala. Lala. That is the correct answer. How can you be scared of a Lala? And that is the right answer as Allie goes up 1-0. Everything sounds fun in Hawaii, even if it's dangerous. We go to question number two right now.

Allie's up 1-0. Which land at Disneyland is about to get a major overhaul? As announced at the D23, this land is going to be very different from what we've ever experienced before. Yeah, I think everyone's been waiting for this for a long time, and that would be Tomorrowland? Tomorrowland? She said Fantasyland, but the correct answer is the land that does feel the oldest, which is supposed to be the future. And that is Tomorrowland, which is ironically named because it does feel like it is straight out of the 1970s. Yeah.

I think they even had a tagline that said, yesterday's tomorrow, today. Right. I was like, what? Yeah, so Tomorrowland is the one that's going to get a major change. Is there anything even good in Tomorrowland? I'm trying to remember what's even in Tomorrowland. Tomorrowland's got the... They have that Star Wars ride that's kind of fun.

Space Mountain. They have Space Mountain. Yeah. Yeah, definitely in need of an overhaul. I mean, all that other stuff, like that twirly rocket ship thing that can go. I mean, that was more like a direction for me. Like, oh, okay, that's Tomorrowland. I can see that.

We got a question number three. Allie is up 2-0 right now. This Major League Baseball pitcher who had a surgery named after him has died. Yes, I don't know who he is. There was a famous elbow surgery about that guy. You don't know his name? You don't know the surgery's name? A lot of people get the surgery.

They never play baseball day in their life. Tom what? Lala. Tom Lala. You're going for Lala again. You're not going to get it twice. Tommy John. Tom Sock?

Tom Sock? No, no. T-A-U-M? Tom? No, wrong. You don't have to spell it. You're wrong. His name is Tom.

You know who got that right? Eric got that right. It's Tommy John. He's on the board. 2-1. We go to question number four. Spider-Man's been out now for three weeks, and it has just crossed what number globally of money it made.

I think that is a two bill. He said $1 billion. Oh, no, it passed that like the second week. It is now officially north of $2 billion, which means people still love Spider-Man. And many people are arguing this is the best Spider-Man movie ever that's ever been made. You know, I was arguing about what the worst Spider-Man was.

That was the one with Venom. Sucked. The one with Andrew Garfield. He was a terrible Spider-Man. That's what I thought. and we just re-watched all those and Katie's convinced that is the best Spider-Man movie ever made. She's wrong.

All right, we go to your next question and it doesn't seem like it's going to turn around for you, Eric, but here we go. Let's give it to you anyway. This comedian has just broken a Guinness World Record for the most tickets sold on a tour. Over 2,016,000 tickets sold over the course of 16 months going to 128 different venues.

Which comedian now holds that record? Would that be Nate Bargetzi? All right, he said Dave Chappelle, but the correct answer is Nate Bargetzi. Bargetzi. Sadly, you did not win any money

and you lost and you brought shame upon your entire family, but outside of that, is there anything you'd like to admit, Eric? Heidi knows the news. Oh, Jesus. You really... He got the last dig on that one.

I love this guy. Give this guy the win. Oh, man, you put her in her place. Take that, you lesbian. You're listening to KROQ. You're a dime a dozen. Friendly reminder. Omar, did you watch us singing Happy Birthday to You in the clip that's just been put up at Klein Alley Show?

Yeah, I did see it a little bit. Did you see the cake? Did you see the name and frosting and everything? I did. It was very nice of you. Happy birthday, buddy. Thank you. What'd you end up doing for your birthday?

Just hanging with my fam. They took me out to eat. Anywhere? Did you go to one of your favorite chains? We ended up going to Red Robin, and it was not a great experience. Yeah. You should have come back because you've come to the pool party we threw for you.

There was good food at that, barbecue. Yeah, barbecue. Those tendies are crazy. The chicken tendies were good, yeah. Jake is like a termite. He will take advantage of everything that is offered. He's one of those guys, you know, like a lot of times you'll go to someone's house, they're going to get you a drink, even if you're thirsty, you go, no, I'm okay.

Most people, that's usually what I do. I'm all right, no, I'll be okay. I hate that, though. Jake will, everything he's offered, he will take. I would rather a Jake as a host. And even in the process of putting together the endless summer pool party, forced fun, of course, had to invite everyone over for the pool party. And I felt bad because I could tell Vanessa really wanted to get in the pool, but I think she didn't want to be in a bathing suit around us for whatever reason. So she just kind of sat there all bundled up with her feet in the pool.

Just with a smile on her face. Smiling and definitely like you'd see like she was jealous. And I thought once Allie decided that she was going to go in, even though she's all pregnant, that that would have made Vanessa brave enough to also go in the pool. Yeah, I told her, I'm going to get in my bikini. I'm going to come down, and I'm going to be wrapped in a wrap. And then as soon as I take it off, I'm getting in. And before anyone thinks what Allie's saying is hot or sexy, she also wore a swim cap, which...

Well, if we were going to do the swim contest, I needed my swim cap. As my wife pointed out, I have not seen a swim cap in forever. Yeah. By the way, you left it at my house. It's still there. Damn it. Okay, I need it. So Allie put on a swim cap. I don't want to get my hair wet. Jake, who said swimming is for kids and losers.

I said pools. Pools are for losers, decided that he would take off his jean shorts and put on his swimming jean shorts. They were like camo. It was funny. It was like just a swim short version of his. It was wild. I don't even know why he changed. It was like he printed out his short pants.

He took off his camouflage denim shorts and then put on a different pair of the exact same shorts to go swimming in. I don't know what I even did. It's amazing. So Jake did that, and he decided that he was going to take Allie up on the challenge. Did you bring those goggles yourself, Jake? Yeah, of course I brought them. We took them seriously. Okay, so I didn't realize you had, for someone who doesn't go swimming a lot, it's funny

that you have your own goggles. I take them on my floating trip every year because I can swim around and look at fish. Wait a minute, you take them to sit on a raft? I don't sit on the tube the whole time. I get off the tube, and I swim around, and I dive down, and I look at fish. I just, yeah. We had a theory that Jake couldn't swim, and that's why he was making fun of people that go in pools. So we said it'd be funny if Jake swam against a pregnant woman and lost the race, and this is what happened.

Ready? Is he at the first step? Where is he at? First step? Let me see. Where are you at? Okay. I don't know if you hear that music playing, but that is the international sound of a pool party. It's just loud thumping bass. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, that's how you know. I think it was down, down, down. You're obsessed with that song, right? Down, down, down. He thinks it's cool. He loves that song. Yeah, he thinks it's so cool. Yeah, Klein was having an identity crisis with the music. At first, it was like, it was K-rock music.

And we were like, hey, let's play something else. And then you started playing Bad Bunny because I think you thought. Well, I wanted to necessarily feel comfortable. And then you started playing your, like, Counting Crows crap. And then you started playing this. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Contestant's ready. What are we doing? Are we doing a one, two, three, go? Wait, wait, wait. Do we need to, do they need to, do they want to do a practice lap just to see the course? No, no, no, no. See the course. I didn't want that.

I knew the way that things always work with us is that there was going to be some sort of discrepancy at the end where we wouldn't have any sort of results because Jake would have said something that I didn't realize. You had to touch the wall with your hand or something. So I said, let's just go through it one time so it's clean. Everyone knows what the race is. It's not a big pool. Well, of course, it's there and back.

Right. It's there and back. And it's not like a lap pool. It's a typical California pool that they can't. It's not deep and it's not big because you're not allowed to waste too much water. Yeah. No, it takes you probably 10 seconds to get to the other side. Right.

So that's why I thought you guys would want to do a run through the course, but no, you didn't want to. It's going to be three, two, one, go. Okay, ready? Contestants ready. Touch the wall. All right, ready? Three, two, one, go.

All right, all right. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Back, back, back, back, back. Go, Ali, go. Now, Ali was in a, let me say something. That's my girl. Ali was in a commanding lead out of the. At the beginning of us.

Yeah, you got a great start on Jake, and I think Jake's heavy shorts weighed him down at the beginning. And you did touch the wall first because it was touch the wall and back. So you were off to a great start. Yeah, but he did this kind of crazy kickoff thing when he turned around. Against the wall, right. Go, Allie, go! Stopped early. Allie, wait. Oh, my God, what?

That's not the wall, that's the hot tub. I was just going, I got wet. Oh, that's what she's saying? There was a discrepancy at the end because technically Allie went back to where she started from, which I thought was the race. Jake touched the wall of the hot tub. Which was before the end. So Jake, of course, gets all excited that he beat a pregnant woman. Meanwhile, Jake was a D1 athlete in college.

Also, you tried to hold me back. You tried to grab my feet. He did? Yes. I saw that too, but I didn't say nothing. I tried to grab your feet? Yes, you tried to grab my feet and hold me back. What are you talking about?

Jake, that is such a ridiculous... John, I saw you. You're playing footsie with Jake. I got the footage, man. I got it all on camera. Why would I ever want to touch your feet in any way? Because you wanted me to lose. I was trying to keep you in your lane, dude.

There is no lane. I wanted you to lose. Grab your feet. That's ridiculous. That's exactly what you know it. Okay. Let's look at replays. You racer.

It's crazy. Racer's ready. You racer. At the end of the thing, it became this issue where we were discussing whether or not... We had to look at the footage. Allie admitted defeat. Jake barely beat, barely though. I mean, incredible that you came that close to losing to a pregnant woman.

But I think I was a faster swimmer. It was just Jake was able to push off at a crazy rate. And I do believe. That's what swimmers do. I do believe that that had been like a, just a real lap in like an Olympic-sized pool. I think Allie would have beaten you. If it was just straight swimming. Yeah, I really think so.

Let's try one lap, like 150 meters straight away. Well, that's all we have for pools. We're tapped out. Yeah, I'm not doing that. So we're probably not going to do this again. I'm not getting in a swimsuit around you guys again. But we did decide that after that, we said if we don't hate each other at the end of this, then we'll announce on Monday our big Endless Summer Kegger

so that we can get together with a bunch of listeners and have a more fun version of that. Yeah, exactly. I think having that and having somebody else control the music is a great choice. Yeah, so we're going to do all of that, and we'll give you those details coming up in about 15 minutes. So we have that to look forward to, plus your ADD news after this quick break on KROQ. Monday, there's nothing we can do about that. However, we can make it worth your while by getting you into the Just Like Heaven Festival, which is happening this month.

It's all part of Jason, the greatest stretch of months of the year, July through November. And this is happening Saturday, August 22nd. That's almost here. So we get you into Brookside, the Rose Bowl for the Strokes, LCD Sound System, and more. Tickets coming up later this morning. But right after your ADD news, we get you into our endless summer kegger with those details coming up. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. There's some really sad news that broke yesterday. The death of Hayden Panettiere. Pretty shocking when you feel like someone you kind of grew up watching is suddenly gone and gone at 36 years old. So young. She's very familiar, but what would I know her? I was not a fan of her.

I know she was in that show, Nashville. I never watched that show. You know what I had forgotten? I forgot she was the little girl in Remember the Titans. That little girl who's like, you got to watch your left side, not the right side. And she's like telling him, like the coach, She's like helping the coach and she, I remember that movie now that now that I've seen some

of the playback of like all the roles she played, I was like, oh my God, I forgot that was her. I mean, she must've been like 11 years old or something when that was happening or maybe even younger. And then she was in heroes and then she was in Nashville. She was in bring it on all or nothing. Did you see that one? No.

Was that the sequel to the original? It was. I like the, I was a big fan of the original. It might've been the sequel or the third movie. I can't quite remember how many. It was the second one. The second one. Okay.

Of course, Vanessa knows. Yeah, you know that. But these shows also seem like shows you would watch, Vanessa, Nashville and Heroes. Actually, I've never seen those two. But you know who, you still know, like, even if, like, I didn't watch either of those shows. She was in that Ice Princess movie. Yeah, Ice Princess. Jesus.

But she started acting when she was a kid, and it was pretty hot and heavy right away. And then, you know, later on, I think she kind of chose her projects a little more carefully. What's remarkable is how many different ways there are for people to pronounce her name. Because in the announcement of the death, I heard everything from Hayden Penitirani to Hayden Penitiri to Penipadana to Penipadana. That was Penitier. Well, I think you got it the right way, I believe. But there's just so many ways to pronounce that name, apparently. Yeah, so it was a sad situation.

She was found at her house in South Carolina. Apparently, there was a response to a cardiac arrest. They don't suspect foul play or anything like that. But the 911 dispatch apparently hinted at a possible overdose. But again, nothing's been confirmed. they're doing an autopsy, it would be incredibly sad if that's how she went out, especially with an 11-year-old daughter. But she had spoken before about her struggles with alcoholism

and with postpartum depression, which can be really, really rough. Some people just aren't the same after they have kids. It screws up your hormones, and it messes with your mental health on a big level, and it's cool that she talked about it. But correct me if I'm wrong, and I don't know if this is true or not, I thought I saw that she, even though she had an 11-year-old daughter, that she gave full custody away to the father. Oh, really?

Yeah. She wanted nothing, which is for a mom to do that. Well, I think motherhood was very hard for her. There are some people that just realize they can't do it or their own mental health can't handle it. And then she had a memoir that came out in May. And she also talked about the death of her younger brother who died in his 20s. And I don't know the details about what happened with that, but she opened up about it in her book. And the last time she was seen alive was when she was promoting her memoir.

So I imagine a lot of people are probably going to be downloading and buying that and reading it and just learning more about her in general. A lot of Disney things were announced over the weekend, almost too many things. It's impossible to keep track of all of it. But in the movie world, they announced Frozen 3 and performed a new song with Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel from that movie. Coco 2, Incredibles 3, Lilo and Stitch 2, Zootopia 3, a new Ice Age movie, a live action Tangled, Romy and Michelle 2. And then a Bluey movie was announced, and they did kind of a teaser trailer for it.

Of course, there's a lot of rabid Bluey fans, but it was like this weird 3D animation thing. Oh, no. I'm not into that. Let's just keep it the way it was. One of the great things about Bluey is that it's just simple, and I don't need, like, a 3D version of Bluey. And then with Disneyland, they're going to redo Tomorrowland.

That's getting a makeover. They haven't revealed too many details about that, but they're also going to be doing some updates at California Adventure. They're going to double the size of the Avengers Campus. They're going to add two new attractions there. It's going to be an Avengers Infinity Defense ride and then something called Flight Lab and a new Coco attraction is going to be there, too.

They kind of announced that already, but they kind of revealed more details about it. I'm not going to tell Disney how to do their job. They seem pretty good at it, but here's what I would like. When you announce something, like I would like to have known it's been built quietly behind the scenes for three years, and then when you announce it, You're like, and by the way, it opens on Tuesday because now it's like they've got plans and

they sometimes show you some renderings. But in my head, I go, what are we talking about here? Three years, four years from now? Well, I know the Avengers stuff, they said 2028, so that's two years. But I agree, the movie, all the announcements, it's like, here's what we're up to for the next five years. And I'm like, I'm not going to remember any of this. This is too much information.

Can you breadcrumb me a little bit? Now I know Incredibles 3 is coming out in four years or whatever. I'm going to forget about all that. and you kind of blew your load. I got pretty sad because Frozen was like, when my daughters were young, that was their everything. And then Frozen 2, when that came out, they were still real into it.

And I told them, I was like, guess what, girls, Frozen 3, we don't care, Daddy, leave us alone. I was like, what happened? I was so excited to drop the news on them. What are they, K-pop human hunters? Get out of here. We don't care about you. What?

Speaking of kids, it's hard to raise a child, and it's even harder to do that by yourself. Single parenting is incredibly difficult. But now in 2026, people are finding interesting workarounds. And instead of raising a kid with a romantic partner, they're choosing to raise it with a platonic partner. Platonic co-parenting is on the rise. And there are now special dating apps that are seeing a surge in users that are trying to find a person to just be friends with. Platonic coupling.

Hold on. And then you raise the kid together. This is not real. Someone gets convinced to go help raise someone else's kid. And then they're like, hey, by the way, now the kid's sleeping. You want to bang? and they're like, no, no, no, we're just friends. But by the way, you have a pickup tomorrow after T-Ball?

The app is called Modamily. My damn fool is what they should call it. That is ridiculous. It's one of the leading platforms that is for matching potential platonic co-parents. And they say they've had 50,000 new users

just in this year alone. It's got a creep factor to it, man. Just like random adults that want to be with children that don't have any of their own. What the hell? I'm just a helpful guy. I just want to carpool more.

Hold on. Yeah, Allie, we have one of the users. One of the users says that we are wrong, but go ahead, sir. Whatever you say. He's the creator. Yeah. All right. I believe it.

Sounds about right. I know in other countries they have protocols for this where you can just, you know, assign, hey, this is the person I'm co-parenting with, they're not romantic, they're not married, and then they're like, okay, here's your contract, it's a whole contract situation, you decide ahead of time who you're going to be parenting with. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now, and a major announcement that will save your summer. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning, it is Monday, we are Klein Alley Show, and this is still K-Rock 106.7,

or perhaps you're watching us as we are streaming live on YouTube right now. Hello, NetBangers, I'm look-maxing the camera right now. Can you tell? That's what you're attempting to do. I'm covered in oil. Did you even use that term correctly? Probably not. By the way, if you're wondering why I look all stained and disheveled today,

it is because I have a completely lost hearing in one of my ears after an attempt to clean out some wax, and I put a bunch of olive oil in there, and now it is just oozing out oil the entire show. That ain't the gangbang. He is. He's borrowing my headphones. Ew!

Why are you ruining Vanessa's headphones? I didn't want to wear mine today because I knew it was going to... What? So you said you're going to ruin hers? I didn't know she was going to give me her pair. I said, is there an extra pair of headphones? Those are the extra ones, man. Oh, sorry.

I'll get you a pair of headphones. I didn't realize that. I would not put these anywhere near yours. You said, I don't want to get mine all dirty, so I'm going to get the guest pair of headphones covered in oil? It's a radio station. I thought we had a lot of pairs floating around. I didn't realize I have to go to Vanessa's pair.

No, that's the only pair. Oh, sorry, Vanessa. Whoopsies. Well, in that case, take back everything I said. My ears are fine. They're not oozing anything. They're not oozing anything. I take back that, what I just said a moment ago.

But that's why I... They're self-cleaning. They're cleaning the headphones as I wear them. I am covered in oil. This hour on the show, we will announce what you'll be doing to go ahead and save your summer. One last hurrah before fall officially is here. Don't be fooled by the shells at CVS and Costco that claim it's already Halloween slash Christmas time. We've got one more summer hang to get into, and we'll give you those details in mere moments here on KROQ.

And then, of course, immediately invite you to join us. We have that to get through this hour. I know the Dumb Off is back today. So the first round of the Dumb Off, the 2026 inaugural Dumb Off, is back again. And we will get into that coming up as well. Today it is Johnny vs. Jake in round number one of the Dumb Off. So we have that to look forward to and so much more. So let's give you this Green Day song because we must.

And then we will come back right after the song with the announcement you've been waiting for. Endless Summer Kegger, a.k.a. Klein Alley Show Clamslan. Details after this on KROQ. Hey Rock, we are Klein Alley Show And Friday we got together for a pool party That was going to happen as part of our Force Fun Funner Summer And when we were talking about this pool party

The past few weeks, more and more people were reaching out to us And saying, I want to go, I'm going to be there We're getting messages from the Bud Light Bros And Suave Gave And you hate those people and you don't want them at your house That's not true, Omar, it's that I realized That if I said yes to anyone, I'd have to say yes to everyone I didn't want to be one of these guys that was deciding

Who was in and who was not in You couldn't open the floodgates Couldn't open the floodgates because the reality is it just was not going to work anyway. And I decided, let's do, and we talked about, could we move to a different location and have a proper end of summer party? So we started hunting for a place that would accommodate us. We looked at Airbnbs. We looked at all these different options and everyone was saying 50 person limit. We said, that's not going to work.

Believe it or not, we have at least 53 listeners. So we need to make at least room for 53 people. And then we luckily found a place that was not only willing to have us, but they were willing to allow us to invite as many of our friends as we could possibly fit into this place. And to put in some music, real-life music. And they said, as long as Klein is not in control of the music, we will have you guys. And in addition to what we will announce, what will be happening at this endless summer kegger, as we are calling it, we will also bring back this woman's idea.

Clam-Slam competition. We do our Clam-Slam competition after we did a little wine tasting, right? So we will be in honor of that caller who informed us of the name, the Clam Slam, which is what we wanted to call this event. We will be doing the Clam Slam competition at this event. Well, we want to turn it into, we want to have as many summer tropes as possible. It's going to be all the stuff. So we got your beer pongs. We got your kegs.

We got your Clam Slam competition. Which I know is what you think when you think of summer. We have everything else in store for you. And we announced to you the end of your funner summer. Hit it, Allie. Funner summer. Here we go. And we are announcing right now, it is Klein Alley Show's Endless Summer Kegger happening

at the Back Bay Amphitheater at the Hyatt Regency in Newport Beach on September 3rd. And because we will not be in charge of the music... All right, you'll be there, sir, I'm sure. He'll be part of it. We can say yes to all of us now. We can say yes to every single one of you, so at least we believe. We are going to be giving away tickets

because it's not just a show up and you're in. You do need to be on a list, but we're going to go ahead and make a lot of space for a lot of people. And we decided that rather than just us and beer and food and everything else you can look forward to, let's have some music. But we needed to find music that was fitting

for an endless summer kegger. Yeah, we needed the vibes to match our vibes. So we were thrilled when they accepted the invitation. And Slightly Stupid will be playing our Endless Summer Kegger. So we got you and us and booze. Food. There'll be food. Activities.

As we mentioned, we'll have this. Flam flam competition. We've got to look forward to. I think we're trying to get a dunk tank for Jake. Oh, that's right. We're going to put a forced Jake to bathe dunk tank. So you have the opportunity to make Jake take a bath, which is exciting. And then we will, of course, get to enjoy the sweet sounds of Slightly Stupid

come sunset that's right that's all coming up and we will get you in in mere moments endless summer keggers officially announced there's no way we're missing this kegger park and you don't have to because it's officially been announced now thank you slightly stupid thank you for the back bay amphitheater high regency newport beach everyone who says finally doing a klein alley show hang in the oc we will be there it is going to be september 3rd technically still summer because I believe that is the day before we kick off the Labor Day weekend. Yep, it's the last possible day we can have it. You can still wear those white pants, and you'll be in style,

and it's going to be a good hang had by all tickets coming up in moments. We'll start giving those away, and you can win your way in, and then, of course, we will invite as many of you as we can possibly squeeze into that space. From what we saw, it should be great. We're going to hook up food and drink and games. Laura, you're on KROQ. Good morning. Hey, good morning. Hi. What can we do for you?

Well, I'm calling back. Thank you for bringing my clam slam to the K-Rock community. Yay, you're the one who called us in the first place. Did you not? I'm the one who called. Yes. Are you calling now because you'd like to be at the clam slam by the bay, also known as the Clan Alley Show Endless Kegger?

You know it, of course. She's a ringer. Would you come in and try to properly compete again in this clam slam, even though I think the last time you did it, you tore a labia? Yeah. Yeah, I definitely need to stretch it out a little bit more this time, but I'm in. Yeah, start preparing now. Okay, so yeah, because we've got to make sure we do it the right way.

I know the lawyers will probably try to shut that down, but since you're the only one that we know that's officially ever competed in a clam slam, there's other people that are going to want to get in. But you're in, and you're going to come back and perform, or not perform. You're going to compete again, right? Yeah, I'm not performing. But yeah, I'll compete again, and if you give me two tickets, I'll bring the winner of the clam slam too.

You're in, hold on. Great, you're in. The first two tickets are going to Laura and the winner of the Clamslam. We must have them there. Just write their names just like that. Just like that. Make sure they're on the list. You have no idea how many conversations we had trying to make this party officially called the Clamslam.

I don't know why our boss hated that name so much. Everyone hated it. I don't understand. Because he doesn't understand comedy. They're all dumbasses. I mean, it was like us going... The amount of squinting that took place. Yeah, we don't get it.

I could picture it in my mind. I've been in those meetings. They're like, huh, what's it mean? It doesn't have to mean anything. We'll leave that to us to make it happen on the air, right? It's funny. They don't understand that. The best part was hearing them repeat it to themselves and go,

Endless Summer Clamslam. Yeah, we saw some piece of paper that was written on down and crossed off on. And we go, we're just going to call it the Clamslam. And they go, no, no, I don't think we're going to do that. And then on top of that, they make us come up with new names. And then we have to sit there and brainstorm. And then don't go with any of them. New names, yes.

And then not go with any. And then we just go back to, guys, Clam Slam, it was right there. It's the Klein Alley Show, Endless Summer, Kegger officially. What were the other names they came up with? I mean, just all the, End of Summer Party, End of Summer. Oh, just like the generic stuff. Generic, right. Let's not call it anything.

The Slightly Stupid Barbecue. Right, the whole thing. So anyway, it's going to be us and Slightly Stupid and you, and obviously the Clam Slam champion will be there as well already. First guest out of the gate is a celebrity. That's amazing. So we got that to look forward to. Celebrity.

I think so, in her own right. She is. If you would like to join us, we have some tickets for you right now. And the question we have for you, as we are celebrating the end of summer now, how did you hurt yourself this summer? Doing a clam slam. What was your biggest? Yeah, that's a great example.

Biggest summer injury. We will make it all worth your while by getting you into our endless summer kegger, a.k.a. the clam slam, after this. 800-520-1060. Hey, Rob, we are a Klein Alley Show. Summer is supposed to be a time for fun, but also there's a lot of those summer injuries that happen. The sausage toe, that's what got me last summer.

This summer, I almost came out unscathed, but then boom, head butt to the nose, blood everywhere in the pool, and then now I'm deaf in one ear. So don't follow your medical advice from TikTok. Well, you can't blame anybody for that but yourself. Well, I can blame whatever happened that forced me to then turn to TikTok and put a bunch of olive oil in my ear. You are the one who chose TikTok. Yeah, I know.

That's what ruined it. No, it was already going in a bad direction, and then I made it much worse. But at some point today... You're blamed. just say it's my fault can't hear you jake let's uh find out how you hurt yourself this summer and make it all worth your while by getting you into our endless summer kegger just announced happening in orange county and newport nice place the high we're going to be there back bay oh slightly stupid it'll be there that's a swanky place i've played there before i bet you have i

imagine a lot of weddings probably take place there uh we're going to be taking over that whole back bay area it's going to do all the fun you could expect uh including just some of the things that we have on our wish list. I don't know how many of these we'll be able to make happen, but if we can even get 10% of them, it'll be worth it. Yeah, I know. I imagine they've been pretty chill so far with us. Minus the name part. Hey, Lita, you're on KROQ. Good morning.

Hey, good morning. How are you doing? Okay. How'd you hurt yourself this summer? Wow. I went to practice shooting my rifle in the desert, and I popped a boobie. What do you mean? You shot yourself in the boob? No.

Kickback. Oh, the recoil. I hear it leaking in you right now so wait let me get this straight you had implants and the recoil from the gun was so powerful that it actually popped on your implants yes that's right

the chief no he can't tell if he's answering that She's speaking to me? I can't hear her. We're having a conversation. Okay, just making sure. That's Lita. That's a good story.

I hope that's, I mean, it sounds like that's what happened, but sadly we've lost, Lita, is that what happened? It sounds like it, yeah, the recoil from the rifle deflated my boobie. Oh my God, that is unbelievable. I wonder how quickly you can get that fixed or if you just, because then it leaks out, right? And you've got all the... Yeah.

Uh-huh. It took about a week for it to leak out, and I had to gather some money quickly. And about two months later, which a couple weeks ago, I got it fixed. So you were walking around for a period of time with only one boob? Yes. Wow. That's amazing. Yes.

Don't make fun of me. I'll shoot you. Yeah, I know. Yes, I only have one boob right now, but I also have a rifle. So, you know, you can choose your nicknames carefully. You can just walk away. All right, Lita, it's going to be tough to beat. That is a real summer injury right there.

God, I'd love to have her at the party, huh? I mean, just to sit there while it's slowly leaking over the course of a week, I imagine that's probably painful. Allison, what happened to you this summer? Summer injuries? Someone's going to be rewarded by getting that sweet handicap parking spot to be able to hang out with us at the Endless Summer Kegger slash Clamslam. What's up?

Hi, good morning. I cracked my knee open cleaning a slip and slide. Oh. Not even going on the slip and slide, but cleaning it? No, I was perfectly fine on the slip and slide. It was only cleaning it after. And then you slipped? Yes.

with straight down on top of my kneecap. You know, I have never thought those were cleaned, ever. Yeah, I don't think anyone's wasted any time cleaning the slip and slide. I thought it was clean while you were using it. It's self-cleaning. Yeah. Not when it's covered in grass. Yeah, but the end.

Oh, you just give it like a power wash. Yeah, I see. Because if you don't, then next time you unwrap that thing. There's like things living in it. Right, but also, the first person that goes down it, they kind of take care of it. That's what you used to think. I don't think I've ever cleaned one of those. Who's up first?

You're the one cleaning the slip and slide this time. That sucks. Crack your knee Go down hard I feel like that would take a long time to heal By the way When you tell someone I slipped and hurt my

How'd you slip? On a slip and slide They go well it's right there in the name Spoiler alert You know that's That's what it's called Alright let me say hi to David David how'd you hurt yourself this summer?

What's up? Well I took the same journey you did I started working out And I thought I was strong So I hit up this random guy at a bar I said hey you want to arm wrestle? And then he ended up Pulling my pectoral major

So now I kind of have a Chest injury I can't even work out anymore I saw a guy challenged got an arm wrestling thing one time and I saw his entire bone get shattered. The guy was such a big guy and he just,

that's the thing about these guys that are like real, actual real strong men. They will destroy regular mortals like us. And they have no mercy whatsoever. They don't know. I don't think they know their own strength,

but boy, they do not like to be challenged. So you think that you're in good shape for you and you're like, I'll challenge this guy to arm wrestling and then he just snaps your pectoral muscle.

That's what's great about it is that the guy started working out and he was like, I'm going to start getting drunk and arm wrestling people. I'm ready for this. Yeah, I am so glad I don't have the confidence in myself to do that because I know that I would lose any arm wrestling match.

You know what? You should arm wrestle this guy at the thing. Let me see what kind of shape he's in right now. What line is he? David, are you currently crippled now or no? You know, I think I've got one more week of recovery. That should be good. You've got to take him on.

Now that you can't lift weights anymore because you messed up your pre-tour, did you go back to being completely out of shape again? No, no. I did more and more leg workouts. Leg workouts. Who cares about those days? Skip them. Those are skippers. Dave, let's say hi to Dave. Dave, these are all people that hurt themselves.

And they would like to have one last hurrah. What's up, Dave? What happened to you? What's up, guys? I just want to say that I appreciate it because I'm the one that called for the Kager backyard party. $5 at the door on the goat line. Oh, nice. We're finally doing it.

A good old school Kager. That's awesome. I appreciate that. Over the summer, we were at the park playing baseball, and my cousin was swinging a metal baseball bat around, cracked my head open, got seven staples, and I got a big old dent in my head now. Whoa. And that's a forever thing, right?

That doesn't get better. That doesn't get better, and I got a big old dent now because of that. So, brain damage or you don't know yet? Well, sometimes I speak backwards a little bit now, but other than that, I think I'll be alright. Cool. And did you get knocked out

completely? Did you go unconscious or no? Oh, yeah. I felt like a log. straight to the ground, bam. Damn. Talking backwards is a good party trick, though. And were you catcher? Was he just practicing his swing in a place he shouldn't have been?

Yeah, I was behind him, and he was just swinging it around, and it cracked me in the back of the head. Where, like I said, I got seven staples and a big old dent in my head now. They've told us that already. Do you want to say it backwards? Say it backwards.

All right, hold on. That's that guy. Man, I feel like it's been a very dangerous summer for people. That's that guy. Ryan, not a great story, but terrible result. What happened to you, Ryan?

mine's more stupid than anything i'm really come to the right place say hello to klein you can only hear in one ear yeah i went to a theme park uh water park and went around without a shirt on all day and did not put on any sunscreen and i ended up sunburned so bad i had to go to the hospital two bags of iv oh my god five hundred dollar copay oh man what are they uh what like a blistering skin level sunburn or the whole thing? Yeah, yeah. It was nasty. Were you drunk?

Were you drunk at the water park? He's on line six. Hey, go ahead. Sorry, Ryan. What's up? No, completely sober. Wow. I've seen people at a water park that are just wasted and they're standing there and they're starting to get red and you're like, they have no idea what they're going to feel later. But sober, that's crazy.

We have to pick one of these people to party with, which is not going to be easy because they've all had great stories and they all seem like they'd be a lot of fun to be around. minus maybe that sunburned guy. Amanda, what happened to you? Hey, good morning, guys. So there is a swinger party that throws a huge pool party every year,

and I went to it. Of course, you're trying to walk around, look all sexy, and I was getting in the pool, and the steps are kind of weird, and I slipped and just yanked a groin muscle. Oh, man. Women have groin muscles?

Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. It was... Yeah, so I yanked on that pretty good, which kind of ruined my fun for the night. Oh. But, yeah.

You were at a swinger's... You were walking around a swinger's party, fell in the pool, and pulled your groin? Yes. You're there, period. That's correct. Just making sure. And that's, like, the most important part of your body to be in good shape at a swinger's party. I mean, you were there to get...

I mean, you still got an ass. Yeah. That was a bad night and a bad night, bad muscle to have pulled for that. Yeah. Yeah, how long does that take to heal? It's, like, I was limping for, like, a week. It was kind of rough. I feel like the swingers, though, they're a very welcoming community.

They'd be like, that's fine. Get this hammock. I'll still left you. Let's put a bag of ice over here and be my friend, Steve. All right, hold on one second. That's Amanda right there. God damn, she sounds fun, too. Now that we have two people with groin injuries, pretty much, because we let the clam slam lady in.

That's right. It's just the groin. It's just all the groin people. Change the name to the groin injury endless summer party. All right, we give the final word to Jasmine. We have to, Allie, we have to pick someone to come to this thing. I want to let them all in. What happened to you, Jasmine?

hi so i was at a pool party and just walking around like normal no shoes on i ended up stepping on a bee got stung and then i mean we got the finger out and everything but i was trying so hard not to step on it but apparently i did because i ended up getting it infected and having to be like go to the er the next day over a bee sting over a bee sting yeah but those effers like sit around the pool and they jump in the pool and they drown in the pool and then you try and save them and then you step on them and they sting you but that's one thing but then when it goes next level it's always the infection that follows that's the thing then you're like i might lose a foot uh all right we alley we have to hold on crystal we crystal this is really the last i

mean you gotta have a crystal at a party good crystal what happened hi so i had a child free day and a husband three day and i want to enjoy it jumping in the pool 15 minutes in i jumped in a fool and I broke my toe and after breaking my toe it happened to be the same week I put in my notice from work so now I'm jobless and I take a little broken toe and footless and by the way broken toe doesn't sound like one of those injuries that is that big in the scheme of things but as a survivor of sausage as a man who deals with sausage show on a daily basis having a bust up toe man that's not everything sucks yeah just because you still walk funny and everyone laughs at you we have to uh ponder a lot of the stories here and we have to go ahead and a lot of the

text line we haven't even gotten to yet. So let's give you the appropriate song right now, which is Jimmy World Pain while we talk about these injuries and come back announce who's going to be joining us at the Endless Summer Kegger Slash Clam Slam, and that is after this on KROQ. Vanessa, I know you're not going to be happy about this because Allie and I are

torn here, but we like the swinger that pulled her groin by falling into the pool, and the guy that got into the arm wrestling competition and tore his pectoral muscle. We'd like them both to be invited with guests to come to hang out with us and to everyone else

who didn't make it on the list. Now, don't worry. We've got a lot of spots to get a lot of people into this thing. It was announced earlier this morning. Details up on our Instagram,

Klein Alley Show and at KROQ. It is the Klein Alley Show Endless Summer Kegger at Back Bay Amphitheater High Regency Newport Beach on September 3rd with Slightly Stupid

and the return of the Clam Slam. So get ready for all of that. It's a lot to fit on a shirt. The return. We've never done one, but it's happening. You know, something

over the weekend happened to me that has never happened before and it was very nice gesture and it made me have kind of a good feeling about humanity and then I immediately ruined it by my own

my own stupidity which is how it seems like. Seems to be the theme of the day. It does seem to be a theme now I'm developing. I don't like that theme but I was out, I took Bruiser out to breakfast on Saturday at a place not far from here called Griddle which has those giant pancakes

massive pancakes the size of your head. You can't possibly finish them and whenever I say, where do you want to get breakfast? Usually, I make breakfast at home. Every once in a while, I say, let's go get breakfast. And that's the place she always picks because they have these giant pancakes filled with Oreos, and every kid loves them. But to be honest, adults like it, too.

It's impossible to not like it. It's unbelievable. Is it all they have is pancakes? They have other breakfast foods, too, but that's what I think they're known for, these massive things. And we're sitting there, and we're eating, and I tell the waitress, can you bring the bill check? I've got to get out of here. And she goes, don't worry. Someone

someone at this restaurant has asked to pay for your bill. And I said, what? Wait, where is this place? It's just not on Sunset and Fairfax. And I said, I thought she was hanging out all day.

Hey, Allie from Allie Country. Just being Allie over here. Don't know what to order. I thought she was kidding. I thought she was making a joke. So I hit her with a card. She goes, no, I'm serious. Someone here said that they would like to thank you for what for for they'd like to thank you by paying for your breakfast or something like that

and i'm like thank me for what like i didn't know i didn't i didn't put together what this was for maybe they think you're the punisher oh i did i held the door on the thanks for all you do for a community on the way into the restaurant i did hold the door for a party that was coming in before me and then they ended up jumping me in line for the for a table so i thought oh maybe that was Maybe this is one of those paid-for little things. That would be very aggressive, though. That they would pay for your meal just because they jumped you in line? I didn't know.

And then the woman comes back with a box to box up this giant pancake because you've come up with so many leftovers. And I said, can you please tell me who this was? It's a weird feeling. You're appreciative, but also it's weird. It's a weird feeling. Am I a hit? Right, what's happening here?

And then she goes, they asked to remain anonymous. Is there any part of you that thought it might be a hot lady? I was hoping. She's sitting at the bar with an orange juice. Maybe. I could see why they would think maybe I was a divorced dad sitting there having breakfast with one kid. No wife in sight. Maybe it was a hot divorced mom sitting there going, this is how it's going to happen.

Yeah, they hang out at Griddle. That's what I would think. Eat those giant pancakes. You're waiting for a hottie to walk in. There he is. Look at that neck on that guy. Pay for that pancake. So now I'm looking around the place, sizing up every table in there, going, who did this?

Who? So are you just milling about? I'm just kind of looking. No, I'm looking. I'm giving everyone kind of the, like, I'm looking around to see if anyone's looking at me. No one's looking at me. And what's the kid doing at this point? Is she like, what the hell is that doing?

She's confused as to what happened, too. She's like, she goes, pay for it. I go, I don't have to. Someone else paid for it. She goes, you should pay, too. I go, I can't pay, too. It's been paid for. Someone paid.

Why did they do it? I don't know why they did it. Then the waitress comes back, and she said they said that they just wanted to say thank you. They're a fan of your radio show, and they just wanted to buy you breakfast. That was it. That was all she said. Now I'm going, okay, so it's a K-Rock listener. So now I start looking around going.

Where are the band T-shirts at? Right, exactly. And I'm looking around, and I'm looking for anyone in a band T-shirt, anyone that's covered in tattoos. Facial piercings. Teeth missing. All that stuff. Everyone looks like they've got a GED. I'm really looking, Allie.

I'm going, who's our people? And I still, there's nothing. All these people have two arms. Show of hands in the restaurant. Is anyone missing an arm or a limb or blind? Because if not, I have no idea. We're currently drunk at 10 a.m. So I, once again, I'm looking, it's not that big of a place.

I'm going table by table. Big fan. Wait, you're going table by table at this point? I'm not walking, I'm not walking, I'm not walking table by table, but I'm looking, I'm scanning. And I see, and there's not, nothing makes sense. There's not one person in there that looks And then we So then I finally go

That's it So I walk out I get to the door before I leave And I just do some sort of a weird Like queen wave Oh no Like this Oh my god

To the place Are you for real? Thank you my subject I just wanted to let the person know Whoever this person is This mystery person This doesn't happen to us Sometimes at a bar

Someone will be like Let's have a drink together And usually we end up But if it's We're usually at a thing Yeah It wouldn't just happen in the wild So I do a wave

with like a wave thank you all enjoy the meal like you own the place thank you all and then I I walk out and at the outdoor table

as I'm about to get cause there's outside tables too about to get in my car see these two guys look like they're in their late 20s early 30s tattoos oh there they are

one of them's wearing a sublime shirt the other and I just say guys thanks for the breakfast and then they say who they said who

Who the hell are you? And then the thickest accents, because they were clearly visiting from some other land, were like, excuse me? And I said, thank you for the breakfast. And they said, are you the waiter? And I said, no. Did you send me breakfast? And they looked at each other, confused, and then just continued their conversation. And I got in the car, and I felt like the biggest loser.

And your daughter said, what the hell was all of that? And she goes, dad, I don't think those guys bought your breakfast. And I go, clearly they didn't buy it. And then... Or if they were listeners, great, great job. Great, great bit. Great bit. Because it really messed me up good.

What are you talking about? And then I got home and there was a nice DM from some listener that just said, and this is the part you guys are going to hate. They said, I'm the one that paid for your breakfast as my way of saying thank you to you and the entire show for all of the laughter and enjoyment you bring me on a daily basis. Where are they eating next? So I passed that thank you on to you, Allie and Jake and Omar. Oh, thanks.

Thanks so much for passing it along. Give me your leftovers. I have them in the fridge at home. I want them. I'll bring them tomorrow. I really get a piece of this. We come back in a moment. We have news to get to, and then we have tickets to give you so you can experience.

It's better to give than to receive. I just experienced receiving. No, it's not. It's actually much better to receive. Just like heaven. We got those tickets for you coming up in about 15 minutes right here, K-Rock. What are your plans for this Saturday? cancel them. We're going to send you to Just Like

Heaven, Brookside, at the Rose Bowl, the Strokes, LCD Sound System, Dayglo, Chromio, the list goes on and on. The full lineup is available. Put that up on our Instagram so people can find it easily and let them know what they'll be winning at 9, noon, 3, and 6. We'll have those tickets for you the second we're done with this, your ADD News.

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Well, it's a bad day for millennials and for Dodger fans. In addition to the death of Hayden Panettiere, who died at 36 years old, more details have been coming out today about the circumstances of that we also lost tommy john a legendary baseball player former dodger died at 83 he played for six different teams over the course of his very long career thanks to a revolutionary

surgery that is now known as the tommy john surgery in his 30s he had a bad elbow injury and they said he would have normally been a career-ending injury they decided to try an experimental procedure where they harvested a ligament from his other arm and used it to fix the injured arm. So cool. Even with the surgery, they said he had a 1% chance of playing professionally

ever again. Not only did he, he played better than he did before. Played for 14 seasons and won 288 games. The kid broke his arm and then they fixed it,

but then all of a sudden he could pitch really fast, so they put him in. He was a starter for the Angels. I think he was called the rookie, maybe. The rookie, yeah.

Same surgery. Tommy Johnson. Oh, it was the same one? Well, his was better because he was able to pitch a 100-mile-an-hour fastball. Seven years old or something.

I didn't know anything about this guy, and that story is incredible. I think Rookie of the Year that's a great baseball movie.

So great I couldn't remember it. The important thing is you had the surgery done and I think that if you're going to have anything named after you I think people think

that the best thing you could have is a street named after you. I used to think a sandwich getting named after you was pretty cool. The worst thing

is a disease. Disease. Lou Gehrig's disease is a terrible one. Your death is so sad we had to name this after you. But if you get a cure named after you

that's pretty cool. I think an award named after you. No, no, no. getting a like a surgery where you now go like does my insurance cover tommy john yeah it does oh that's so cool like that's a good legacy to have i'm tommy john right like i was say i'm risked risked enough to say try this experimental thing and i'm sure a lot of experimental procedures didn't go well you like that guy who got that pig heart that's charlie blind charlie no no he got

cow blood like a cow remember they trance they like transferred a pig's heart or something into this guy. And he was cool for a while, but then he died, right? And then he died, but I bet if he had lived, they would have named the surgery after him. Fine. You could be like the earwax guy. They could name something after the earwax removal process. Whatever I've been doing to myself is not working, so I am in a problem. There's so much oil

like on the console now and everywhere in the studio. I'm leaking oil like an old car. The things that he's doing off the air to try and clear his ears. Well, he's filming me. He's just smashing his hand against his ear and then popping his head up really quickly. Because I'm reading a text line and all people

People keep texting me what I need to do, and I'm such an idiot that I'm doing all of them, and nothing's working. I think you're messing with me. Last week, I told you a story about a dead body that was found in an abandoned suitcase, only to discover later that it was a sex doll. Now I bring you a story about a bomb that was discovered. Closed off the streets, bomb squad came out, all the whole nine, only to discover that it was actually a sex toy. Oh, my God. This is unbelievable. Police closed roads and called in the bomb squad for what turned out to be a sex toy.

CNN's getting real kitschy with their... They sure are. Music, I mean, that's kind of ridiculous. The device was left outside a fire station in Washington, D.C., and it's easy to see why the toy and all its exposed wires were seen as suspicious. I mean, it's a big cylinder. It looks to be about five or six inches high, and it does have wiring around it. It doesn't look like a sex toy, you know, from the naked eye.

But when they came to investigate, police found an electronic sex portable pump device. The police report states that... A penis pump. Oh, that's what it was. That's why the wires were coming. Why would you call that a sex toy? I mean, it's a sex-related device. It's more like a medical device.

Call that Tommy Dong. It was named after the great Dodger, Tommy Dong. Yeah, I don't know why they would call that a sex toy. Because that's not bringing anyone pleasure, is it? Yeah, it's bringing the person pleasure that's getting a bigger penis from using it. I didn't even know they made those anymore. The person who left the toy spoke to a person working at the fire station before dropping the device. Roads were closed for almost two hours while authorities investigated.

Jesus, that's annoying. Yeah, and the fact that he just dropped it, like a little oopsie moment, you know, I mean, that's kind of a big thing to drop. That's nice to know that with all of these things happening because of sex dolls and sex toys, et cetera, that we're still a very horned up culture. Because they wanted us to believe that no one's horny anymore. But that's just not the case. And then finally, I know that it's fair to say e-bikes are universally loved by everybody. They're not controversial at all, and people are doing everything they can to get their hands on them, including commit fraud. Well, we know just how popular e-bikes are, especially here in Orange County.

And if you've ever shopped for one, you know they can be really expensive. Well, police tell us two suspects tried placing a very large order for them from this local bike shop called Jack's. They tried ordering five e-bikes worth more than $8,000, we're told. And that raised some red flags for employees here. So then they looked it up, they called the police, and they discovered that this was all on stolen credit cards. And when the people came to get the bikes, the $8,000 worth of e-bikes, they arrested them both and realized that they had committed identity fraud, done all this shady stuff just to get their hands on these e-bikes,

which I'm sure they were eventually going to resell online. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now. The very first thing we do is invite you this Saturday to join us at Just Like Heaven, Brookside Rose Bowl. Call her 20 right now. 800-520-1067. Let's go. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Hell yeah. Good morning. Welcome to your K-Rock. And it's just after 9 o'clock. I'm excited for this hour because the dumb off is back. The most controversial thing that happens annually on the show is the dumb off to figure out who will be wearing the sash of stupidity. that is maybe the most shameful part is that just in time for our big endless

summer keg or someone will show up there in a bathing suit wearing the sash that says official dumb off winner Allie you've worn the sash before it's not fun Johnny's worn the sash before I don't look good in a sash we can put those pictures up and you can see on our Instagram that no one looks happy

when they win the dumb off actually I think one year Johnny did think he won he was really proud of himself just like he was proud he got two degrees yeah that's right so anyway the dumb off comes back this hour on KROQ And I believe round one, it's Johnny versus Jake. Winner, or I guess I should say loser, moves on and will ultimately make it into the finals of the dumb-off.

So every day this week, it's a salute to back to school to figure out who on this show is the dumbest once and for all. That'll be happening this hour. Right now, though, we'd love you to be the 20th caller at 805-201-067 so we can invite you to come to Just Like Heaven, happening Saturday at Brookside, the Rose Bowl. It's going to be a great show, always is. It's a great festival here in Southern California.

and this lineup does not disappoint with the Strokes, LCD Sound System, and many, many others. A full lineup has been posted on KROQ and at our Instagram, I believe, Klein Alley Show. As we say good morning to the 20th caller, we've filibustered for long enough, and we say, hey, Jose. Hey, sweet divot.

You are going to the show on Saturday. Congratulations. Oh, yeah. Thank you, guys. Sweet divots, have yourself a good time at the Brookside at the Rose Bowl and enjoy yourself some Just Like Heaven. Thank you for starting your day with us on KROQ. Greatly appreciate that as well.

Thank you, guys. Thank you, Glenn and Allie. You're very, very welcome. It's nice to start out like that on a Monday. I feel like it sets the tone for the rest of your week when one good thing like that happens Monday morning, 9 a.m. Also, wanted to congratulate Brenda from Lawndale because she was the winner last week that got the Six Flags tickets,

but also will be getting that 2027 Gold Pass. Brenda! So, big day for Jose, big day for Brenda, And big day for you coming up. If you enjoy making fun of us, we'll figure out who is the dumbest on the show. Round one of the Dumb Off will start in moments. Of course, we'll come back in a second, though, and solve the Internet's biggest riddles with some clickbait. So go nowhere.

We need you after Lincoln Park. Two minutes, 17 seconds. More Klein Alley Show next. We'll get to the Dumb Off in moments. And already people are placing their bets on who will win round one between Jake the Ace, claims he doesn't lose anything on the show, and Postmaster Johnny, a professional idiot. So that'll be coming up later this morning.

Right now, though, it's time for us to solve a problem on the Internet involving things that are making you appear less attractive than you actually are. And this is according to dating app research. So keep in mind, in life, sometimes you're like, I'm a pair of threes. I was born a pair of threes. And depending on how you play that hand, you could potentially come across something more. It could be a pair of sixes, a pair of eights. I think you've upgraded to three of a kind.

You could even go there. But sometimes you play your cards poorly, and your pair of threes all of a sudden becomes like, you know, jack high because of how you played your cards. So this is something that is instantly making you appear less attractive than you are. It's time for Clickbait. Here we go. All right. A lot of things out there that you could be doing and should be doing. And as you can tell, if you spent any time on the dating apps or if you're single or in a relationship now that's not fulfilling to you, you think to yourself,

There's no good people in L.A. A lot of people like to say that. There's just no good people in this town. I'm in the wrong place. I need to move somewhere else. I know people that have moved because they've just decided nothing's happening for me here. I'm going to move. And guess what?

They move somewhere completely different, and it's the same situation. You can't find anybody there either. Yeah, there's no one in New York. I find it hard to believe in a place that has millions and millions of people that there's no one. Now, you need to go to, like, Ohio where there's, like, one nice guy that just can't find love. Yeah, but even that, though, you go there and you go, ah, these people all suck. And you're like, but now I'm here in Ohio. So the question is, what is the thing you are probably doing right now?

I know for a fact that one of the single people on this show does this, by the way. For a fact. And it makes you appear way less attractive than you already are. This is something people do on a date? It's something you do when communicating with someone that you've maybe started the conversation with. so like it could be on a date it could be just in the pre-date back and forth of like hey i swiped on you you swiped on me but it's something that people are doing that makes them way less attractive appear less attractive what do you think it is i think it's tmc too much communication

too much talking yeah if you're going back and forth if you're following up too soon after the date if you are um too chatty in the text back and forth potentially giving people too much information about your dating history stuff like that just seems like you've got too much to share all right oversharing makes you less attractive according to ali we have the actual answer this is according to research from multiple different dating apps and dating experts as well uh let's say hi to jake the nerd who is currently on the app well he was on the apps then he stopped paying so now he's back off the apps but jake what do you think it is that instantly makes you less attractive? I don't know. Everything

I do. Flip-flops, cargo shorts. That is correct. You have gotten the right answer. Yeah, but you're slaying right now. Everything Jake does. Yeah, Jake, that's not the answer because that's right. Ever since you gave control of your profile to Allie and Vanessa, you have gone from zero matches to

infinite. No, well, not infinite but one in particular that we're hitting off well. Yeah, you guys are dating dating, right? Sort of. Didn't you go from no dates over the course of a year to like six dates in a three-week period? Yeah, it was a bunch.

And did you ever say thank you to Allie or... Well, I think... No, I didn't say thank you because I think they tried to sabotage me, actually. Everyone, by the way, left my pool party on Friday and said thank you. That was a lot of fun.

And Jake said, can I take some of these beers? That was... Did he also eat the cheese soup? Yes, he loved the cheese soup. Oh, yeah, it was like nature nachos. Those were great. It was like regular cheese

and then in like a half an hour, it was all soup. It melted so hot in the valley. It just melted. that Jake was eating the cheese leavens off the platter. He loved it. Yeah, we love cheese leavens. So what is the answer?

Other than using the phrase, we love cheese leavens, what is the other thing that makes you less attractive? That's my guess, man. It's like, I mean, maybe not wearing appropriate attire on a date. Okay. Omar, what do you think it is? It instantly makes you appear less attractive than you are. I think if you tell the person that you're interested in

that I go to TikTok for all my medical advice and you show up to the date with oil in your ear, I think that's going to be a big turnoff. I disagree. I think women like guys Covered in oil Yeah he's all lubed up All ready to go

Your shirt just looks All stained You look like a mess dude Well yes This was a bad This morning Last night into this morning Have not been my proudest moments

This must be the weirdest Thing I've ever witnessed Seriously Well you should see You're making me hungry For popcorn For anyone who's Watching me on YouTube

I'm covered in oil Oil is dripping Out of my ears I followed a stupid TikTok doctor It does not stop There's more oil Well there's a lot in there

I've put in a lot of oil. Leave it declined to turn a very simple problem into the biggest. All right, well, if there's a mechanic listening now,

I need some advice. I'm leaking bad. You're not even right. No, but my real guess is going to be if you seem too aloof, like, ah, you know, I don't care, really, whatever,

you put off that line. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kicks dig it. According to, no one's right this time. What? And I'll tell you,

you'll know as soon as I say the answer who is responsible for this. But as soon as you appear to be very, very, very available and have unlimited open possible times. I could be tomorrow night or the night after

or the night after that. You instantly become so much less attractive. And they said that even in this research they did to find this out, saying something like, I'm free Friday,

as opposed to, I could probably make Friday work, it changes your attractiveness level significantly. I love that phrase because we all use it and it means nothing. I'll try to make it work.

Yeah, but once you say that, it becomes you're just not some loser waiting around for anything to happen. Like when we're trying to figure out stuff for the schedule of the show. When we were trying to plan the summer hangout, yeah. Omar, very attractive because Omar has no availability to make any date work. Jake, on the other hand, wide open. Wide open, yeah. Every possible date we threw out there, Jake would make us wait for him to go into his phone just to go, yep, that'll work for me as well.

Well, even this new girl that he's dating, he's like, yeah, we hung out last night. and then the night after that and the night after that. They're just full-fledged, all in. So think about the way you phrase, even if your plan is great, if she wants to go out or he wants to go out, let's make it happen.

Don't seem so available. Don't seem so. Any time works, any day works. I just sit at home and stare at a wall. You've got to say something along the lines of, I can rearrange some stuff. I think that's a great, I love that move. Let me rearrange some things.

That's the, I'll make it work. Yeah, you know, I can move some things around. Even if you have no things to move around. Right, makes it seem like you're a busy person with busy things and people to see. Well, there you have it. That was your clickbait today

and hopefully that helps you. Vanessa is so unavailable that she refuses to date anyone, but I think that, Vanessa, true or false, if you said to a guy that winter's good for you and he goes,

any time, that's like, ugh, right? I would be like, don't you have stuff to do? Right. Don't you have a life? That's the thing. So when Jake says,

I can make any time work, yep, that'll work, that's great, no problem. That's a little ugh. Except between one and four in my nap. Very busy. One and five.

Jesus. Such a long time. When we get back. Sometimes 530. The dumb off is upon us. And I already know there's going to be controversy over one of the questions. So Jake and Johnny will be battling it out. Round one of the dumb off.

We welcome you back to school. We get to that. And if you're wondering, will we give away more tickets later today to come hang out with us at the just announced Endless Summer Kegger slash Clam Slam competition? You never know. Yes, absolutely. We will. Vanessa said no, but we will at some point this morning before we get out of here. So stick around.

More winning is next. I'm Nick Fyke on KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. In the studio right now, we have a Jake the Nerd. We have a Postmaster Johnny. And it's very rare that they ever come into the actual studio. And it makes us all uncomfortable. But we're doing it because it's time for the return of our welcome back to school and the dumb-off.

The dumb-off. I forgot those were all my quotes. Very quotable in the world of dumb alley. Congratulations. Thank you. Anything you'd like to say, Jake and Johnny, before you guys are going round toe-to-toe in the first round of the dumb-off? You're done, son.

I'm excited. I've been looking forward to this, actually. And, Johnny, correct me if I'm wrong, but you've tied Allie multiple years as the winner. In 2023, we tied. In 2024, I took the cake. Last year, she won. And this year, the champion is yet to be determined. Allie, I just want you to know, if you win the dumb-off again this year,

we are going to take your shirt off and hang it up in the rafters here in the K-Rock studio. we are going to retire your shirt because you are that good in the world of dumb. I want to retire that shirt. It's too oily. I don't think it'll stay. Slip that off the ceiling. All right, guys.

We have seven questions. If you'd like to participate and figure out if you are dumb or not, this will test every possible level of intelligence. I know there's always a conspiracy about the dumb-off. Yeah. It's a whole and every level thing. It's BS, man.

This isn't based off of anything. They're just riddles. They're not riddles. No science. They are. I know people on the text line were saying, can we please get like some kind of just a general ACT question or something that actually measures intelligence and not a bunch of dumb riddles? Yeah, not dumb riddles. In fact, these are the types of questions that actually will force you to use your brain differently than the obvious answer.

Yeah, that's what a riddle is. Question one. You guys are separated by a folder, so you cannot cheat. Yes. Question one. How would I want to cheat by looking at his answer? That's right. That would be pretty dumb.

If you did that, that would be dumb. You would win the dumb-off. Yeah, that's the only way to win. Question one. A father... Oh, Jesus. Here we go. ...is four times as old as his son.

In 20 years, he'll be exactly twice as old. How old are they now? See, this is where I just throw in the towel, just like... Just pick a number. Yeah, just pick a number. Let's go. All right. Just a random number, dude.

This is total crap. I know. It's total crap. Say it one more time. Yeah, see? If you have to repeat the question, it's a bad question. Terrible, dude. That's a good point, Johnny.

A father is four times as old as his son. In 20 years, he'll be twice as old. How old are they now? You guys are making it more complicated than it actually is. Yeah, it's a dumb question, first of all. I'm going to go to the next question. It's a dumb question off. Yeah.

Not a dumb question off. We should call this the Klein-Off, man. You know what, Al? You keep track. We'll just answer them as we go. Let's not wait around for the answers. Let's not force the listeners to sit through this whole thing. Maybe they only want to hear a few questions.

Jake, did you get an answer? Gosh. Has to be, I don't know, 25. No. What'd you write down there? Wow. I wrote 80. You wrote the dad is 80 now?

Well, he's going to be 80 in 40 years when you said you quadruple it. He's quadrupled the years. The dad is 40 and the son is 10 currently. And in 20 years, so right now the dad is four times older than the son. The dad's 40? Yes. That's an old-ass dad. The dad is 40 and the son is 10.

And understand that in 20 years, the son will be 30 and the dad will be 60. Yeah. It's a very simple question. That's not a riddle. That's math right there. That's basic math. Yeah, I wrote down 20 and 40 first, but I was like, oh, it's not. It was right here.

Ali, it's Jake. Why you wrote down the right answer, then crossed out. That is dumb. That's dumber than Johnny somehow. Question two. I just see a little doodling. A book is to reading as a cookbook is to what? Johnny looks like he is perplexed right now.

No, I actually have a really solid answer for this. Jake, when you're ready, let me know. I'm ready. All right, Johnny, a book is to reading as a cookbook is to what? Cooking. Jake what did you write I didn't write down anything I was going to say cooking too

we're tied right now dude that's a great score the answer is reading it's still a book you still read it yeah but it's the purpose of the book is to cook yeah you take action

no wrong you're not just going to sit on the couch and read a cookbook yeah some people do that who? people do that single people with cats

once again it's still reading You guys both 0 for 2 in the demo. Well, it's also with action. You don't just read a cookbook. It's like instructions. There's no New York Times bestseller cookbook. Yeah, there is. Maybe there is.

Let's go to question three. Let's go to math now. Finally. What is half of 2 plus 2? What is half of 2 plus 2? Easy. Come on. Hit me with it.

Johnny? Ready? The number is 3. Jake, what'd you write down? Row 2. Johnny's right. Two plus two, half of four is three? Half of two is one, plus two is three.

Let's go. Yeah, but you know what? You could also say half of two plus two. No, that's still wrong. What is half of two? One. What is half of two plus two? You didn't listen.

You didn't listen to what he said. It's all about how you say it. And Johnny has now gone up a point on the ace. Wow. Jake is mad. Jake is fuming. I mean, and it's a BS way to ask that question. How is Johnny going to be out of this in the first round?

It's purposely misleading. We're going to have to see if we can get that sash and tie-dye this year for Jake. Great. It'll be the first year I don't have to make it. I want to get tattooed. Jake, you're making the sash regardless. No, I'm not. You have to wear it.

But don't jinx it. Let's keep going. Guys, Johnny's up one point now. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? I remember this one. We did it a couple years ago. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I do.

Say it one more time. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? That's the dumb off on K-Rock. Write down answers so that we know that no one changed. Johnny, are you done yet? You seem like you're thinking. Start with Jake first. No, if you don't have an answer, we can't.

I do have something written down, yes. Okay, Jake, what did you write? I wrote down short. That is the right answer. Johnny, what did you write? I wrote the word two with two O's. I don't know. Explain that to me, please.

I wrote the word two with two O's because it could be two with like T-O or it could be two with a T-O-O or it could be two with T-W-O. All right. To think that they have the same score at this point, Jake, how does that make you feel? Terrible.

I don't. Jake is right. The word short, you add two letters, it becomes shorter. Ah, damn it. I forgot about that. Yeah. Okay. We go to your next question.

Now it's all tied up. there's only three questions left in this exciting dumb off and for this next question we're going to play a song to let everyone rest their brain a farmer has chickens and cows there are

10 heads and 28 legs how many cows does the farmer have one more time please this ain't a damn question man a farmer has chickens and cows There are 10 heads and 28 legs How many cows does the farmer have?

We have 10 We're going to have a song Yeah, you guys got to be able to I'm going to play this incubus song Come back with the answer for that And the final three questions And the dumb off on K-Rock K-Rock finale show

There's been a lot of talk During that incubus song About heads and legs And Johnny asking the question What color is the farmer And all that happened off the air And that's because Serious question

We're in the middle of something that we call the dumb off. The dumb off. Currently, if you're keeping track, the score is tied between Jake, who calls himself the ace and thinks he's smarter than all of us, and Johnny, who is the three-time returning dumb off champion, always in the finals. Johnny's drawn a lot of cow parts and a lot of head parts. The question we asked before that song was, a farmer has chickens and cows. There are 10 heads and 28 legs total. How many cows does the farmer have?

There is an actual answer. Johnny, you've done a lot of doodling, but what do you have? That's what I asked you. What are we trying to find? You just told me he has the chickens and cows. You spent this whole time just doing nothing because you didn't know the question? I was drawing, and I asked this guy. What is the answer you had ready to go?

Now I don't even know what my answer is Well you drew the 10 little heads on your paper I drew 10 little heads And then I wrote the number 24 And then I put Yeah I put 24 So what's your answer to the question I guess 24

24 cows I thought it was 24 feet Jake what did you write 6 Also wrong I had 6 4's actually 6 times 4 is 20 6 times 4 is 24

He had four cows. I thought it was four cows. Four cows and the rest are chickens. Wait, what? Does either one work? Yeah, four cows. No, four cows because four cows works out to basically you have four heads taken care of and 16 legs taken care of, which leaves exactly six heads and 12 legs left.

So it works out. It's only one answer works for that question. That's real intelligence right there. Real intelligence. I can't believe you got that wrong, Jake. I'm shocked. He was so confident during the song. I can't believe you both, you really had a chance to take the lead on this.

Guys, we're down to two questions now, and it's tied up in round one of the dumb-off. By the way, Allie, the sash from last year, the big dummy sash, has been brought in. So YouTube and anyone watching along can see what this looks like. Yes, and would you like to issue out the correction? Imagine someone having to wear that. Yeah, apparently Vanessa claims that she was the loser last year of the dumb-off, the winner, excuse me. And she wore the sash. So Allie has only won this thing twice, I think.

So sorry, Allie. I won it once and then tied another time. We tied in 23, yeah. And I said winning or I said losing? It's winning. Because I said like the loser of the dummies. You're the winner of the dummies. It's all about how you phrase it.

Guys, here's your next question. This one's easy. I hope. No, it's not. A father and a son are in a car accident. Oh, yeah. All right. I think I already know the answer to this one.

Call Sweet James. That's right. That's right. That's the answer. This is product placement. Johnny got it right. Product placement. The father dies.

The surgeon says, I can't operate. This is my son. How is that possible? Mm-hmm. You have an answer already, Jake? I already know the answer to this one. This is a classic riddle. Johnny?

It's not a riddle. It's an intelligence test. I think it is. It's his dad. The doctor's his dad. His dad died in the car accident. That was the first bit of information I gave you. And then who's...

And then the surgeon says, I cannot operate. This is my son. This is my son? Oh, they're brothers. Is that the answer? It's no son. Why would he say this is my son? I don't know.

Let's just go brothers. Let's just lock that in. Jake, what did you write down? It's his mother. Yeah, that is the correct answer. And by the way, just to prove how sexist this entire world is, I gave Allie that question during the last commercial break, and she also did not come up with the, couldn't even fathom the concept that the surgeon could have been the boy's

mother. No, I just said it was the grandfather. Yeah. Yeah, Allie went to another generation of man. Well, there's got to be some other man close to the boy. That's what I thought, too. I was like, there's no way a woman could be a surgeon. Well, that is sad that you would think that, because that is the correct answer.

And now Jake goes up one. Wait, wait, wait. Did you say the surgeon said I can't operate, or did you say he said? No, he said the surgeon. The surgeon said I cannot operate. He's my son. So moms can't operate on their sons if they're in the ER? Yeah, that is weird.

I mean, she can fully do that. Well, she could have done it had she not been an emotional woman. Being a pussy. It's probably too cold in there because of the whole thing. All right, final question now. Jake, you could either win this thing or potentially tie with Johnny. So now Jake does have two points. Let's have a basket.

Jake's up. I mean, the fact that Jake is this close to Johnny is sad. And there's not been a lot of correct answers in this round of the dumb-off. This is the final question. A basket contains six eggs. Six people each take one egg, but one egg remains in the basket. How is that possible? That is your last question in the dumb-off.

And this does test, and I appreciate everyone on the text line, not all the people that say these are riddles, shut up, but the people that say this is actual definite testing of real intelligence. Who said that? No one. We're looking at the same text line. We have four texts on this text line. Thank you to all the people who said these are great questions. Thank you. We're reading them all.

Klein texting himself. So, once again, it's a basket that has six eggs. Six people each take one egg, but one egg remains in the basket. How? Johnny, you want to go first this time? No. I don't know. I think somebody just forgot it.

They all took them and they're like, oh, somebody forgot an egg. Okay. Oh, wait, wait, wait. One of them is conjoined twins. So they take one of the eggs and they count as one. Two people for the price of one.

Okay. Interesting. Really interesting answer. I think that sounds like a good answer. I want to copy Johnny. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you already won this anyway.

Conjoined twins. You're really going to say that, Jake? I have no idea. If it's six people or six eggs and you take one, this is one of those dumb riddles. It should be zero. It's a dumb riddle. Watch.

The basket has a hole. Is that what you're going to say? The basket has a hole. The egg was his brother. The egg was his brother. The egg was his mother. The correct answer is the last person took the egg with the basket. They just took the basket with the egg in it.

Ghetto. What? Ghetto. Ghetto. That's a big corner. It's still in the basket? Yeah. That's getting real close to a shoe shiner post right there.

So there you have it with the final score of 2-1. God damn, that's sad. Those are sad numbers. 2-1, the dumb off. Johnny, congratulations. You move on another round. I would like to say I got the math one correct. That is a big dub, and I was actually proud of myself for that one.

Yeah, you got one question right, which is I think better than you've ever done before previously. That's by far the easiest question. I can't believe Jake got it wrong. The way he said it made it sound like a different thing. No, I got it. Half of two plus two. It's three.

Yeah, two plus two. Half of two plus two. Jake doesn't know that. That's okay. You got to take a break. Everyone says they're now frustrated with the dumb off results. But Johnny, let's see if the sash still fits you. You haven't heard it yet.

I can't wear it yet. He can't wear it yet. Why are you sweating so much, bro? It's all oil. Still Monday, still KROQ, still Klein Alley Show. We'll get into your ADD news in just a moment, but first... Klein Alley, sweet gibbets. Hey, this is a bit of a complaint about Alley.

Hold on one second. There's a lot of those coming through. We're going to have to keep that for later. We don't have time to possibly get into all that right now, but what do you think? He did say a bit of a complaint, just a bit. The nicest way anyone could say that, calling with a complaint about the show. And there's no shortage of these, but... Hey, this is a bit of a complaint about Alley.

All right, well, we get it. Trust me, we're on your side, sir. Let's get into this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. So if you still miss Jackie the Bald Eagle and you've been looking for ways to help or contribute, the friends of Big Bear Valley would like you to not get scammed in the process. And they are issuing a new warning that is going out to everybody saying be on the lookout for any Jackie-related scams.

Because for every tragedy, there's a douchebag trying to capitalize on it. and this is what's happening now with some Jackie merch. Now, hold on. Before you share the details, who's the first person you know that got scammed because of an eagle? Oh, that's you. That would be you. That's right, because if I get any sort of thing in the mail

that has an eagle emblem on it, I assume it is official, and I've given a lot of my personal information and money to websites that have eagles that look official. Eagle is, that is the most, of all the birds that will fool me, the goddamn eagle gets me every time. And pretty easy to find a stock image of any eagle. Yeah, but some of them, they have the eagle. The one I fell for the first time had eagle with stars around it as well.

It was a cartoon one? Yes, cartoon. And it just got knocked out? I was like, oh, stars. No, it didn't just get knocked out, Omar. It was a very, like, a proud-looking eagle that had stars on it. I got to help this eagle. It said USA next to it, and I go, all right, they can have my information.

I'm proud to scam you. I was trying to get a passport renewed or a birth certificate, so I was already kind of in the right area for it, but i just happen to be on a completely fake website when that happens you just google passport and then you click on the first thing you see yeah not the first thing because i usually will skip like that's a scam the second link now that's the right the first eagle looked a little too uh you know phony the second eagle was like that's a real eagle yeah i mean a cartoon of it but still as we mourn the loss of beloved big bear eagle jackie yeah which we really do we are all so sad

she doesn't she hates jackie yeah i know what's up with that she probably was the only person in in the office going why are we still talking about this stupid effing eagle and we have a warning today about jackie merch being sold under false pretenses fake merch is circulating with some sellers claiming the proceeds will benefit the facility they say they are not involved with any of these sales the friends of big bear valley adds that official jackie memorial merchandise has not even been announced yet the ohio raptor center is urging fans to only donate through its official website now meanwhile shadow doesn't seem to be grieving much he's already invited a new eagle to hang out at his place all weekend and he's already beginning a kind of situation ship

with this new eagle its name is kd1 and they say it's still just a friend zone type situation and that they're also not sure yet of the gender they think that it's a girl but it might just be we could be getting shadows newly single gay phase that's what you're hoping for i do these shirts these shirts are cool i think i'm gonna get wait they're fake ones oh yeah man this is gonna these are so much better than anything whatever that charity bs is uh gonna provide well i mean the ohio rapper center i'm sure it's just one lady who's like man i'll put her a little picture they're missing the moment you know like she's not a digital there's one where she's like flying and there's, like, flames in the background.

Oh, man. I want a gay shadow shirt. Fly free, Jackie, it says. Oh, give me one of those, Omar. Give me a fly free Jackie shirt. I will, yeah. I'll pay you back for it. Or whatever, this scammer's going to get millions of dollars.

Well, once again, by the way, we're not above buying illegal. I mean, we buy bootleg... We can make our own. We buy bootleg merch outside of our own shows. I know. I think the problem is that they're saying it goes to donate to the Eagles, and it doesn't. If you're going to just be any idiot on Etsy making a shirt, fine.

We all know that. This is all on Etsy, all the ones that I'm looking at. Yeah, all the time. But if it says the proceeds are going to something that it's not, you feel like you're benefiting them. Remember Omar bought all that merch outside of K-Rock's Almost Acoustic Christmas with the band lineups that weren't even playing that night. It wasn't my wife. It wasn't me.

Yeah, she came home with a shirt that had a bunch of bands that we didn't even have. I was like, this isn't right. What are you doing here? So the Savannah Bananas are getting bigger and bigger. We finally went to a game earlier this year, and their season has gone on to bigger and bigger venues. I don't know about you, but I've started seeing more of their games on TV. They were playing it at the gym when I was there. Well, they signed a deal with Disney or something.

Yeah, so their games are now more televised, and they're even performing at award shows and things like that. So over the weekend, it seemed that they did some kind of collab with Disney because it was a game in Denver. They were playing the Indianapolis Clowns. I don't know if you're interested. Oh, I love that team. That's the team we saw them play, right?

That's the one you wanted the hat of that you couldn't get, right? Yeah, I love the clowns. That you couldn't get. I could have gotten it. Because you didn't walk four feet. Oh, yeah. They didn't have the right color scheme I wanted. I wanted to look real deal in my Indianapolis Clowns hat.

So Kristen Bell did an appearance. She just walked down the stands. She sang this musical theater medley and obviously sang some hits from Frozen because it was part of D23 where they announced Frozen 3 and all this other stuff. So you're going to see more and more crossover between Savannah Bananas and Disney, I'm sure. And the question is, have they jumped the shark at this point? I'm going to make a big, bold statement that in a year... If they had a shark, I would have been in.

No one's going to care about Savannah Bananas in a year because I think that's right. We all liked the fact they were this little scrappy underdog story. Yeah, that you had to seek them out and try and find them. They were this mysterious thing. Can you get a ticket?

Can you see what a show is like? Now, if you can watch them on TV, it's just kind of like, it ruins the novelty. And also getting like big star guest cameos from Kristen Bell, I feel like it just makes it kind of cringe. When you are at work,

you are probably not going to discover millions of dollars, but that is not what happened. Well, that is what happened, rather, for this construction crew. And this was not in America, I will say. But they were just constructing. They were doing some construction work. They were installing some new sewer pipes.

And they found $10 million in gold bars in the walls. Now, what do you do if you discover that kind of money? I mean, of course, at first, maybe you don't realize the value of it. But if you're just working and you discover it. You take a few bars and you put them in your pocket. And then you declare that you found a few others. But they don't know how much. You know, that's the thing.

And if they claim that they found, how many did they find? $10 million worth? $10 million worth of gold bars. That means there's probably $20 million in the wall. Usually that's what that means because you can't hide it all, but that's... I mean, why do any of us even know about this? I would imagine... They shouldn't have said they found anything.

When I lived in the oldest house I lived in here in L.A., which was built in the 20s, I was really convinced I should have started tearing into the walls because I think the walls, probably, that's where people hide stuff. Well, you didn't need to find a rich weirdo who was paranoid and hid stuff. Just a weirdo that just didn't trust the banks and put all their money in the walls. So, I mean, if you start ripping into mattresses and walls at Airbnbs, I feel like eventually you're going to find some money, right? Yeah, and then that cleaning fee covers it, right? Right, yeah.

Pay that $200 deductible or whatever. Get some spackle, figure it out. It'd be worth it. If you find it, we get into a brand new hour of the show in mere moments, the greatest hour of your life, perhaps. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning, welcome to your K-Rock. Just after 10 o'clock on a Monday earlier this morning, we announced a few things, including our Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the unofficial Clam Slam competition, taking this thing to Newport Beach for the OC.

People say we haven't done enough stuff there. And so we will be going there as we say goodbye to summer just before Labor Day weekend. Officially, it is going to be September 3rd. We have the Hyatt there, and we've got Slightly Stupid's going to provide the music. We've got all the fun, all those games you could expect to play, plus kegs and food and other things that we cannot talk about on the radio for legal reasons. But there are certain things that we shouldn't say in advance. Let's just have them there. Yes.

As soon as we start saying stuff and somebody hears it and then somebody has questions and the lawyer hears about it, blah, blah, blah. Just know you'll want to be there and we'll have more tickets to give you all week long as we get you ready for the endless summer kegger. No, it's nice. We're hearing from people going, I know that Hyatt. It's right down the street from me. So it's great. You can just stumble home and walk rather than taking a long-ass Uber ride. Details up on our Instagram right now at Klein Alley Show.

While you're there, you can watch some of the hangout that happened on Friday as we were celebrating Omar's birthday at a pool party Omar could not attend. So we celebrated with a UPS guy, and we gave him Omar's cake, and he seemed to be appreciative of that. And you can see all that footage up on our Instagram. What kind of flavor cake was it? I was a little disappointed, Omar, because the word Carvel was thrown around. Fudgy the Whale, ice cream cake, and there was neither. So here's, let me explain something. And I blame, I'm going to blame, I don't want to say the grocery store I bought it at.

Why would you keep a cake in a freezer? What, because it's an O and it's not an ice cream cake? I got duped. Whoa, so you thought it was an ice cream cake? Of course I did. I bought from that exact freezer before a cake, brought it home, and that's what it was. And this one was in the freezer. I don't know if this is something grocery stores are doing to try to confuse people.

But they have a legitimate, not a refrigerator, a freezer with a cake in it. Does it say what kind of cake it was on the front? It said the flavors in there were, and it said flavors were a mix of vanilla and chocolate. So I assume those are ice cream flavors. And they were talking about that was the flavor of the cake. So I bought the thing from the freezer. I cut it and I was like, oh. I know.

That's what I thought. That's sad. And by the way. I still ate it, though. Would you agree ice cream cakes cost more than regular cakes? Yeah, and they are the best. The best. This was a close to $30 cake.

In my mind, I thought this is an ice cream cake based on price alone. Yeah, I can't remember the last time I bought an ice cream cake, so I don't know what the price would be. Is it possible they forgot to put the ice cream in the cake like someone messed up in the kitchen? Why'd you put it in the freezer, you idiot? No, because I'm telling you right now, and this is a thing that's happening now. I think it is on the grocery store to put a big bright sticker that says not ice cream cake So you think all ice cream cakes that are

in the freezer are, all cakes in a freezer are ice cream cakes? Yes Why would you waste valuable? There's no reason to put the other kind of cake in the freezer. It would be in the refrigerated area, all the other ones. If I need to escalate this Oh you should. I think you should

I think you should bring it back Is there any left? There is half the cake left. You should bring it back. You know who didn't want it Most people, because it wasn't ice cream. That's true. I was a little disappointed, but I couldn't be like, I'm disappointed. I was so mad. We were all like, aw.

And I think, and I'll be honest, I think I paid for an ice cream cake. And once again, if anyone else has been fooled by this thing, we could be sniffing a class action here. Because I'm just saying, I couldn't be the first person that was sent out, came back with an ice cream cake, only to realize that it was a frozen, not ice cream cake. And didn't you get it customized, too, with writing on it? Yeah. Because it said, happy birthday, Omar. Yeah.

Did anybody clarify at that moment when you were talking to a person? No, I said, can you put Omar on the cake? And they said, oh, Omar's very lucky. He's going to be a great cake. I said, yeah, you're right. He is, and he won't be there. And you know what? I appreciate that.

You know who loves it? This guy loves it more than anyone. This is Omar's biggest fan. I'm listening to Friday the podcast. I got to say, Omar is probably my favorite now because on the radio, he's very professional. He makes jokes with Brian, Jake, you know, Ali. But as soon as you guys bring up something about, hey, let's hang out outside, he does not f*** with you at all.

Damn it, Omar. I love it. You guys have a good weekend. Bye. This guy loves the fact that we keep throwing these events for Omar. He doesn't show up at his own events. I know. It's very classy of you.

This is the first one you threw for me, by the way. This is the first one. The first of many. Okay, great. There's going to be a lot of Omar events coming up over the next few months. There are people commenting about this conspiracy. Someone said their theory is that a douchebag shopper picked up a regular cake, then changed their mind and then put it in the freezer

so put it in the wrong section. Another person said they worked at a grocery store chain and all the cakes come frozen and they leave some of them in the freezer so the dates last longer. I mean, what a scam. If you guys aren't putting on there, I mean, this should be big, big neon sticker, not an ice cream.

You can still miss it. No, I would have read that sticker. At least that would have been on me. I don't read books. I read stickers. I grabbed the cake out of the freezer. It was frozen like a brick and it said flavors include and there was options. Vanilla chocolate swirl. I said, that sounds like a great mix.

Yeah. Luckily, I went to a birthday party the next day that had ice cream cake, so I got made that for it. Oh, great. I'm sure you enjoy it. But I do think you should return the cake. I think you should bring back half the cake and say, I need a refund. Yes, you should. Hey, Mark, good morning.

Yeah, hey, how's it going, guys? Good. You're up. Continue. I was just commenting that my son had a birthday party yesterday, and he just turned 18, and he still wanted an ice cream cake. I know, they're the best. And so for the last six years, we've been buying ice cream cakes from there. Was there ice cream inside of your ice cream cake?

Did you have ice cream in the cake? There was real ice cream. God damn it. There was a lot of ice cream in the cake. Well, the other thing is, when I get an ice cream cake, I get it from like Baskin Robbins or a place that I know does ice cream. I know. I don't really get it from the grocery store. The reason I went there, and this is what I went back to last week,

is because Carvel's have all shut down in LA. There's none that exist anymore. There used to be one on the west side. That's gone now, too. But you could still get the Carvel ice cream cakes at, at least I thought so, at the grocery store. Really? I've never seen that. Oh, yeah.

They had them. Ralph's used to have them. And now they don't have them anymore? Apparently not, because that's what I thought I got. And it was not that. It was not only not Carvel. It was not ice cream. And I'm an idiot.

And I feel terrible for it, and I could see you were all disappointed, as I was, when I cut into it. I felt like it ruined the whole thing, to be honest. Yeah, but you did a great job on the barbecue and all the cheese. It doesn't matter. The only thing people remember is the cake. That was the only thing you said that was going to be there was the ice cream. I know. And so that's why, Omar, you made the right move not coming, dude.

I knew it, man. You were going to let me down, Clyde. Lame. Frosting was good. I'm going to stop by today and make a scene. Good. Definitely don't change your shirt before you go there. here for you now as we are live but when we're not around there's a goat line for you that number

is 844-956-GOAT this is a interesting message because I don't know what this woman's talking about but maybe we can figure it out together hey Klein this is host Suzy calling in I'm trying to get a hold of you or uh Allie and give you guys some messages that you guys read radio show rocks and I've been a listener for a long time sounds like since the 1800s but thank you for your long listening to the show and you guys are awesome i like you guys but i have some words for ali because i have the situation that she lives in that i live in and i want to talk to her about it call me back time please suzy oats hoats h-o-t-z what do you think she's talking about the situation that ali lives in i mean there's so many suzy oats be talking about uh it's clearly a cat issue

oh really that's what it is i can hear it in her voice yeah there's a three cat situation but i'm sure you can add a zero with her you think that's why that's the situation question about litter or cats waking her up in the morning something like that because she said i've had the same situation that ali's living in and i don't know if that could have been the conversation about um the open marriage situation the one night stand thing that we talked about maybe that's it shouldn't sound like that would be her i kind of worked on that actually over the weekend i i um ordered that movie the invite oh right yeah it's good because i was like this is going to be good because it's like the conversation about yeah and having sex with another couple and i was like

this is gonna be good and then at the end she was like this is a horrible i never want to do this oh and i was like damn it yeah totally backfired you gotta uh i think you have to stop watching that movie when there's like 10 minutes left yeah yeah exactly so it still seems like there's a hope unless this is a body hair situation that's the only other situation i can and i want to talk to about it. Call me back, time, please. Let it roll. H-O-T-E. You have her number, Jake? I believe I can find it.

Yeah, because I'm curious as to what situation. Maybe her son sucks at sports. Excuse me, my kid is incredible at sports. He had an incredible moment over the weekend. Allie wrote in the emails that her son had his Rudy moment over the weekend, and I'm

just curious if you've seen the movie Rudy because you know that that was a kid that really sucked a lot, and he was terrible, and then they finally cheered. He still sucked. He still sucked. Like, yeah, the entire movie, he sucked. He sucked the whole movie. He was a terrible person, and apparently in real life, he's not nice

either. That's what I've heard. He wasn't a terrible person in the movie, though. In the movie, he was likable, and you kind of rooted for him, but if you understand, Rudy sucked, and then when he came in at the end of the movie, it was kind of this meaningless play where they were up 58 points, so they threw him in, and he did, you know, he got... I forgot that it was a meaningless play.

This was the last play of the last game. So it was basically their Super Bowl. And his team was down. So not his Rudy moment. You said his Rudy moment. It was a moment where he shined. He shone bright. And it was a moment that you wouldn't

expect. A shoe shone. He shoe shone bright. The issue is we just gave you a whole talking to last week about how you can't be the overzealous sideline parent. I know. And I told Katie about it. I was like, you know what? We

listened back to some of the videos that we've taken at his practices and at his games and it's just not cute look and we need to step away there's some parents that go to a separate area and they're just watching from afar because they want their kid to just be in their own environment they don't want to be that you know stage mom kind of thing where they're hovering they just want to let their kid be and i said i think we should go over there and she said not an effing chance i need to make sure that the coach is keeping an eye on you know making sure he's focused on certain things i know her uh family were season ticket holders growing up for nfl games but but the reality is she's equally loud and annoying at nfl games as she would be oh my

god she's the person who will likely get in a fight with a fan in front of her team it would be like shut up it's pre-season no one cares she's like i'm cheering oh she wants us to go to a pre-season game this weekend yeah it's a lot so so she gets very heated and involved so there was a moment where it was the second to last play. It was finally my kid's turn to be the running back. That would be his Kirk Gibson moment. I mean, if it was a moment where he did something that was amazing at the end of a game,

it's not a Rudy moment. Okay, well, it was a moment where an unlikely player did something incredible, and everybody cheered for him. That's that tutu boy. He's running in the right direction for a change. Look, he's not necessarily the first pick when it comes to running backs. There is another kid

that's like six, and he's incredible. I mean, his name is Beckham. for God's sake. He's so good. He either runs and gets a touchdown every single time, or he knows how to block properly. Like he's just got it. He's doing like planks on the sideline.

He's built for sports. If you would have named Wesley Dominick, he would have been that kid. That would have been Dom. Dom. And they give the ball to Dom. So they give the ball to him, to my kid. Wesley.

And he starts running. Run, Wesley, run. This Beckham kid actually screwed something up, and he was running in front of Wesley, and they got their legs tangled up, and he took a hit. My kid took a hit. Flag football.

No, he fell in flag football. Yes. Yeah. Which they're not supposed to hit each other, obviously. But he went down, man. He hit his head on the grass and he was crying. It was a whole thing. And he.

He's got a huge head. He was probably just off balance. He's got a normal size head. I don't know. Okay. Pull him down. And we forgot his mouth guard at home that one time. So we were like, whatever.

It's the last game. More importantly, is Beckham okay? Yeah, he's fine. He's not injured. So he was crying, and then he was talking to the coach, and I was like, this is it, man. He's out. He's not going to play anymore.

He's going to run to us, and it's going to be over. I, of course, wanted to run out onto the field, but I didn't. I stayed there and let him work it out. Allie also running the wrong direction. That mom is running the wrong direction. Just that's where the boy got it from. Just running away from her kid. So they said, let's give him another chance.

This was the last play. He was still crying. They handed him the ball, and he was just standing there crying after they said hike, and they said run. When we said run, he ran. He almost went out of bounds, but he cut across, and he went all the way the entire length of the field and got a touchdown. And he was crying as he passed through the end zone, and everybody gave him a hug while he was still crying. What a traumatic experience. I know.

Are you kidding me? And this is what we did. Oh, Jesus Christ. And you were proud of him crying. We didn't really help at all. We didn't change. Go ahead, run, Wesley, run! Run hard, baby, you got it!

You got it! Go, run! Run, you got it, babe! You got it! Woo! Oh, boy. Maybe that's why he's crying, because his parents are so glad my ears don't work right now. I only heard part of that, thank God.

Well, this was his moment, okay? I couldn't hold back, and we were like, you gotta keep, it was that moment where I was like, keep going, Rudy, yes! Go! He did it! It's not happening, Rudy. You need to re-watch Rudy. Well, he was crying, and everyone was, like, lifting him up, man. He was just having the best.

The fact that he didn't quit, and everyone was saying, Rudy, you should quit. You're no good. Right. And then he kept going, and he got the final touchdown of the final game of the season against, there's only one other team, so they play the same team every week. Still, he is a champion. You know what chant doesn't sound nearly as good? Wesley.

Wesley. Baby. Baby. Come on, baby. We need regular football back. We are so desperate. Two big controversies that are brewing right now. Forget about the dumb-off for a moment.

Obviously, we have a new controversy with someone that I thought was a friend of ours that apparently is not based on something that happened over the weekend. I'm angry. You're offended? I'm probably angrier than I should be about this. I don't know if anyone feels the same way I do, but I'm very mad about this. This is not the ice cream cake situation, which we'll deal with later. And this is also not the...

It's a different food battle. This is also not the Buc-ee's battle that apparently Jake won't let die. In fact, he went up to someone over the weekend. He was walking around and saw a guy wearing a Buc-ee's shirt. and immediately went up to him to try to get anyone that would get on his side of the argument that Buc-ee's is not a gas station, it's something else. And this was what happened. Ron, you're wearing a Buc-ee shirt.

Yes. Would you consider Buc-ee's more of a gas station or a store? I would say, I mean, it is, from what I've been told, and my wife has done a lot of research, I heard that it was to go ahead and top off in your car. Oh, come on! Place to go in and top off your car. You son of a bitch. Not even fill up, just top off.

Okay. This is what the guy said. God damn it, dude. You can go in and top off in your car. Place to go in and top off your car. Wow. That was some selective editing right there. So that's from the guy that Jake approached in the streets.

So there you have it. But enough about that controversy because who cares there? We had that competitive eater in here last week or the week before. Her name was Rain. Raina. Raina. Raina. And we invited her in originally because she's a local competitive eater and pretty incredible what she does.

And you love that stuff I love it I think it's incredible And I think society does not give enough value I think teachers are greatly underpaid And competitive eaters are greatly underpaid And underappreciated And she goes around locally but also nationally

And internationally to take on food challenges And I think she Wins significant money One of the last ones she did she won 1500 bucks And if you do that every week you can make some serious money But forget about the money for a second All of the glory of having her picture on the wall at all these local places because she was able to eat the entire sushi boat

or she was able to eat the 10 by 10 hamburger, whatever it was. It's incredible. And then a lot of these places will, you know, try to drum up business. They'll say, if you can finish this pizza, that's the size of a table in 20 minutes, it's free. And if not, then you owe us a thousand dollars, whatever it is. I think it's great. I love the six foot quesadilla.

I love the gambling of it all. I love, I'm impressed by it all. So when, when she, uh, when she was going to come in here, we said, let's go ahead and do something that you've never done before. And that's when we reached out to our friends at Fat Sal's, and we said, maybe we can have you eat the Big Fat Fatty. We spoke to Rain about it on the phone. She said, I've never had the Big Fat Fatty before. She knew about it.

She knew about it, but never had it. We said, great. That's fantastic. We had Sal's come in early in the morning and make the Big Fat Fatty, which was a 15,000-calorie sandwich full of french fries and cheese, burgers on it. Onion rings. Onion rings. Chicken tenders. Meatballs.

Hamburger. She showed up in the morning. I was all excited. and then she said, I refuse. She just said, I can't eat a sandwich that big this early in the morning.

Not going to do it and I don't even like sandwiches. So we kind of accepted, all right, we'll take her at her word. She's refusing to eat the sandwich. She doesn't want to eat the sandwich. We did a smaller competition with her.

We'll eat the sandwich instead. Who doesn't like sandwiches, by the way? She just said, I'm not. That's fine because I hate a sandwich. I hate water. I mean, that's just insane.

So she goes, I don't want to do it. I'm not going to touch it and thank you. We go, all right, Respect, respect. She came in here. I thought we had a decent time with her.

Jake has been flirting with her ever since on her Instagram. And she did eat basically a Philly cheesesteak in a minute and 15 seconds. She ate a sandwich. For the record, Jake's on her side still. Yeah, Jake is still on her side. Over the weekend. Each side of each booth. We got a bunch of listeners that sent us this video.

And I'll play some audio for you because I feel like we've been somehow. You think we've been screwed over here? We've been bamboozled. bamboozled my name is reina also known as reina is crazy you probably see me take on massive food challenges so that's why i'm here today i'm here at fat sals in hollywood because they have this massive big fat fatty that can weigh up to 14 pounds of food so we're gonna check it out let's go see so you have 40 minutes hold on hold on what we we tried to do this with her here we had the sandwich we had her we had everything and she said no i won't do it yeah but she also

explain that she can't take on a food challenge at like 8 a.m. as soon as she woke up. There's certain circumstances when she does these. She made it sound like the big fat fatty was something she was never even going to... This is not my thing. She said, I've got my things and this is not one of my things. So we said, alright, fair enough. And we accepted that. That was her word.

And then she goes, and she must have worked some sort of side deal with them, where all of a sudden now, this big story breaking over the weekend, maybe the biggest news of the weekend. It wasn't the biggest news of the weekend. It wasn't a hate in a Pentier passing away or anything like that. Maybe bigger than that because I've got a lot in my feed.

And they said, and all of a sudden it was, Raina tackles the big fat fatty at Fat Sal's. I go, oh, great, the story about her coming on our show. But not about our show. We've been completely snubbed of the whole thing. Yeah, but she didn't take on the challenge officially. Listen, here's the same guy that came into studio and explaining to her the sandwich.

So you have 40 minutes. You have to do it completely by yourself. And you have to eat every morsel of food at Varnia. It is my off season right now. I don't think I can eat all this, but we're going to be doing something fun. We're going to see how much of this I can get down in 10 minutes. So that's what she did. That's all we want her to do anyway here.

Same thing. We gave her the same offer. You know, she's down for a rematch. We can just have her back. I don't think so, because now I feel like she's gone from my good side to my bad side. So it's with you. I don't think we should put Reyna on our bad side. Yeah.

Why are we going to make enemies with a local competitive eater? That's stupid. Are you not mad about the way, are you not mad about this? You know, I'm not as mad as you are, no. I thought we were all equally mad. I think she wanted to take... I think that the sandwich, seeing it in person, piqued her interest, and she wanted to go back

and try and see how much she could eat in 10 minutes. I don't think that she's, like, betraying us. But don't you feel like the story now that has gone international, a massive story? It's not a massive story. It's a big... She made a video for us and got it up in, like, no time when she was here.

Yeah, and this is also a separate thing. It's not even on her social media. Okay, but between the California Post, Big Fat Fatty's Fat Sal's and Rain a Competitive Eater, it's like we threw an orgy and then we're in the corner self-pleasuring

while everyone else is having fun. I agree with Klein. We needed at least a mention like, you know what? I attempted this at Klein and Allie's show. But she didn't. No, but she could have

given us a shout out. And by the way, we did introduce her to the Big Fat Fatty. Maybe she did and they cut it out. This is California Post reaching out to her

and saying, we want you to tackle the Big Fat Fatty. We're going to buy it for you. We're going to take you to the restaurant and do all this. We should be mad at them.

Vanessa agrees that, with my orgy analogy, because she jumped in right after I said that, that this is like, it's like that. We got, we threw the party, we had all the people, we invited the guest list, and then we got the uninvited from our own party. And it was so hard to get put together. We spent a lot of time on this. We really did. I mean, I know people think this show, zero effort goes into it, the expectations are

pretty low. Usually, that's true. But in this particular case with her, this was, I want to say, over a month in the planning. Over a month. I don't know. At least three weeks. And you set up some chairs and a table and a microphone that didn't work. Yeah, we don't do that for anybody.

We got a six-foot table in here and a tablecloth. Did you guys see that folding table? Yeah, so you get this. Do you remember that? Do you remember this? Do you think that just came together overnight? She did eat a lot of it in ten minutes. I know, it was incredible.

I was thinking to myself the whole time I watched it, God, I wish that had happened to me. She took the fries off and ate all the meat. Rayna, it's like I want to love you, but I'm angry. Let's have her back. I mean if she she apologizes oh my god

really we're going to demand an apology are we that bitch I think it would be the right thing to do in this particular case because I don't want

to have any beef with fat Sal and I don't really have anything to say about the California Post one way or another but with her I thought that she

would have been you know you think she would have refused and said no my loyalty is to Klein Alley Show who asked me to go

on their show once yeah that's right Is that unrealistic? It gave me a free sandwich. Is that an unrealistic expectation? Yes. Oh, okay.

Here's some takeaways from today's show. Let me get the hell out of here. Normally, we leave you in the capable hands of Sluggo, but today we leave you in the incapable hands of a man by the name of Gay Leno. Postmaster Johnny will be taking over the middays at KROQ, at least today, so be ready to win your way into Just Like Heaven with Postmaster Johnny, who will be there, I'm sure, on Saturday at Brookside at the Rose Bowl, and we get you into that again at noon, 3 and 6.

Tomorrow morning, we'll have more of those tickets for our Endless Summer Kegger, also known unofficially as the Clam Slam. It's the first time we've ever done this. Looking forward to having you there as we take the show, or at least parts of the show, to Orange County, Newport Beach, Hyatt. Details all in our Instagram at Clam Alley Show, and we'll have more of those tickets to give you tomorrow so that you can win your way in.

People asking, can I just show up? I think the hotel is asking us to not say just show up, so we're trying to get you on a list so we can make that happen officially. Before we get into takeaways from today's show, Allie, just a message to make you feel good about something we've done today. Hey, good morning, guys. So I left her a message and got a text back. This is Blind Charlie.

He doesn't sound like he's great. I don't know if it's his phone connection. Oh, my God, yeah. He's gotten, like, an octave lower. I don't know if he's dying or what's happening. But, you know, we are trying to find Charlie a kidney. And we did have a listener that said that they would like to give Charlie a kidney because that's how dedicated they are to the show.

And we've connected them. So I left her a message and got a text back. She's going to give me a call today sometime. So just a little update. There's been movement, and, you know, no matter what happens from this, I really appreciate your guys' time on this. I know you guys aren't, like, my messenger service or whatever, but it really gets the feels. So, anyway, I'll keep you guys updated. Love you.

Can't wait for the show this week. Have a great one. Wee! All right. Peace. Bye. All right, peace is what he said at the end of his message. That's Blind Charlie.

I don't know if that's his phone carrier or his body falling apart. Hayden Panettiere, now him. Here's the thing. If that person is serious or if you've got a kidney, I'd like to see if you are a fit for Blind Charlie. We're not asking for this, but Blind Charlie is appreciative. And the first thing he's going to do when he gets that kidney is walk across the country promoting our show every step of the way.

Blind Man Walks Across the Country is an international news story, and we want to be a part of it. Oh, Raina's doing that already right now. God damn it. Are you serious? She is? Here I am. I've gone blind for this.

Raina, you've done it again. Takeaways from today's show. What do we got? 818. My takeaway is Klein's ear in oil. Actually, that's made some progress throughout the show today. How's that doing? It got better when I did that ham trick someone suggested, but then I tried to stick a fork in.

A ham trick? A ham. By hand. I was trying to pop it with my hand. The oil needs ham. I told Ali to smell my ear because it actually smells like a marinade I've got going on in there. You know, 323 suggested I pee on it. Let's try it.

Let's try it. Right now, I'm telling you, I don't know what's happening right now, but it's gone back to terrible again. I'm half deaf. Sucks. It's all, you know, I know it's going to happen. It sucks for all of us, too. When that video, when it comes out later today, whenever I go, I'll probably end up having to go somewhere and have them suck it out of me like the old school abortions, you know? You should ask to keep it.

Well, I think these videos go very viral of people pulling stuff out of people's ears. Yeah, that's cool. So I bet you it's going to be candles loaded with wax in there. 310 Divorced Sugar Mamas Love to Hang Out at the Griddle. 818, Heidi knows the news. Yes, she does. 714, sometimes adding one and two is really confusing. 323, women can't be surgeons.

And 909, my takeaway is Klein wants Tommy Dong to be covered by insurance. Tommy Dong, got to cover that surgery. That's a big name. Got a takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? Earwax one, Klein's hero. Yeah, for now. For now, but later today, that score will change. Yeah, it's going to be earwax two.

It's just going to take over your body. What if it's like an unborn twin trying to get out your ear? Oh, my God. Maybe it'll cure your snoring. It's great. All good suggestions. You have a takeaway there, Johnny? We love cheese leavens.

Love cheese leavens. It's the best part of any good barbecue. Jake, takeaway? Toun. Toun. Toun. Toun. T-A-W-N.

Toun. Toun. Toun. Toun. Toun. Toun. Toun. Toun.

You have a takeaway, Allie? My takeaway is conjoined eggs. Conjoined eggs is the answer. Omar, takeaway? Pacoima's ghetto. Pacoima is ghetto. That's a good takeaway for today's show. You know what I'm talking about.

You should listen to more of the show. Alex on KROQ. Good morning. Hi. Hey, Klein. What's going on, man? What's up? Hi, Allie.

Hi. What can we do for you? Hey, I wanted to ask if I could get invited to the birthday party. It's my birthday, September 4th. I'll be 55. You're out of the demo. Come on, Klein, please. Dude, I gave you the face extra.

If you were 25 to 54, we could have squeezed you in. 55, you are meaningless. He's currently 54. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but only until the day of the party. You have to listen four hours every day until the party. Hold on, hold on, hold on, Alex. Get that...

Hold on, we'll hang up on you separately. Just not on the air. Just make it look like we're good guys here. Hold on, Alex, we'll take care of you. Send him to Mr. Click, if you know what I'm saying, all right? We'll see you tomorrow. We'll try to do it better. Planet Alley, it's just okay, do-do-do.

Planet Alley, it's just okay, do-do-do. Planet Alley, it's just okay, do-do-do-do. It's just okay, do-do-do. And now, 10 Seconds of Mindfulness. Hello, good morning, welcome to your Carat We Are Planet Alley show. Shut up! Klein Alley Show Mindfulness is overrated

K-Rock Well, that's all we got for you We know you were hoping it would be better Trust me when I say we were too But for those of you with learning differences This episode comes with a visual aid In the form of a live stream on YouTube That's right

You can see the show you just listened to With a bunch of more weird awkward moments Where there's music and commercials playing And Allie and I are just sitting there Picking at our faces Yeah, so if you go to K-Rock's YouTube You can watch it live or you can watch it after the fact.

And as always, you can catch us on Instagram at Klein Alley Show and on TikTok as well. And there's a live show, by the way, on the radio. Okay, volleyball.