Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's All-Nighter

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hopefully you're having a fun summer.

We made it our mission around here to make it a funner summer because apparently fun is becoming harder and harder to get these days. No one's having it anymore. No one's prioritizing it. It's gotten too expensive. So did you have it? You know, listen, I don't know if pulling an all-nighter, I think in theory is fun.

I guess if you're doing it because you're having fun and you happen to be up all night until the sun comes up, it's fun. But if you're predetermined. If you're forcing yourself and looking and going, all right i just need to stay up for two more hours uh it can be fun i tried a few different things the answer is i was successful because i i had to do it i have a bunch of video which i'll be posting today on our socials well so i a couple questions and then i'll answer that were you guys expecting that i did a 24 hour um because there was two different schools of thought

was it a 24 hour challenge that i was up for 24 full hours or is that i pulled an all-nighter and stayed up until the sun came up about six in the morning that sounds about right that one yeah I got confused because people were wishing me luck on the staying up for 24 hours thing, which meant for me, I made it my plan, even though I was in Vegas for two nights, that I was going to make Friday night my all-night night because I was already up at 5 in the morning for the radio show on Friday, and I thought it would be easier for me to stay up. Why would it be easier if you've been up since that early? Because I thought that if I had to do it on Saturday and I wanted to sleep in, and let's say I woke up on Saturday at, you know, noon, I'd have to stay up again until noon. I thought it was a 24-hour staying awake period. Oh, why did you think that?

I don't know. I don't know why I thought that. And listeners confused me on DMing me. So I was like, I got to sleep. I thought an all-nighter just meant you stay up all night. So I did it the night I got there. Because, to be honest, and I showed you that on Saturday. It was stupid.

Yeah, I don't know why you did it the night you got there. Well, here's the thing. Because I didn't get to Vegas. I ended up getting to Vegas until closer to like 6.37. So already it was kind of, I pushed everything later. I didn't make a dinner reservation until 10.30. What did you do when you got there? Everything later.

What I always do. I lose a bunch of money before I even check in. That's my tradition. By the way, I can't. That's my tradition. I can't win. God damn. I just can't win in Vegas anymore.

You lost all weekend? Everything. I got all my, I got every single ticket I bet on the World Cup. I mean, you want to see these? I can tell by your energy this morning that you didn't win in Vegas at all. Messy to get one goal. Argentina to get at least one goal. First to have to have one goal.

None of those happened. Argentina to win in real time. Argentina to win in penalty kicks. Climbed to stay up 24 hours. They're all like that. So that was day two. Day one, my plan was as follows. I decided to try to mix two things I've never tried together,

which was Adderall and mushrooms. Oh, interesting. I knew about the mushroom bar, but I wasn't sure how long that would keep you up because you have to have something to kind of jolt you awake. I brought some of the mushroom bars so you could see what I was partaking of. Show and tell. This is my magic mushroom bar.

Oh. So this is the magic mushroom bar. Now, the magic mushroom bar. It's a hero bar. Oh, be your own hero. I was my own hero, guys. And so the plan was, and read the ingredients, Allie, because you can read all that's in there.

So my plan was get to Vegas. Don't even start doing, I didn't want to get there and start doing fun stuff because I knew I probably didn't have it in me to let that last all night long. So I said, I'm going to treat the first five, six hours I'm there just like a regular human being. I'm going to have a couple of drinks. I'm going to have dinner. I'm going to gamble a little bit.

I'm going to relax. And then after dinner, like hopefully I was thinking if I start at 1030. Hey, gamble on mushrooms. That sounds scary. Not well. I'll tell you that right now. I would not. Like that wouldn't give me confidence.

That would make me terrified. But the thing that it did, because the mushroom, it gave me kind of more of a sustained energy. It didn't make me tired. It made me like, all of the colors of the casino, it's nothing but colors, are 10 times brighter, 20 times brighter. Cool. Did it make the time go by really fast? Slow.

Very slow. Oh, damn. So painfully slow, to the point where at one point, I walked outside, and it was hot as ... At 2, 3 in the morning, I want to say it was still 100 degrees in Vegas. And you were with your wife? Only for part of the night. She did not ... So her and I had very different plans for this trip.

She was excited to do a relaxing trip to Vegas where she could do some shopping and go to a spa and maybe sit by the pool. And I said to her, zero of the things on your plan list are on my plan list. I need to stay up all night, one night. And she said, I'm not doing that with you. I said, that's fine. I'll take you back to the room and then I'll go back out again. She was not a fan of that, by the way. But she knew how messed up I was because of the mushroom bar that she was like.

So she didn't have any of this? She didn't want to have any mushroom bar. God, why would you want to be with somebody on mushrooms tripping on... She didn't want to be on mushrooms. Oh, okay. That was why it made it easier for us to part ways. I was going to say, you either have to do it, too, or you have to just, like... But when I...

She hung out. I'll give her credit. On Friday night, I want to say she didn't end up going back to the room until close to two-something in the morning. And does she gamble? She doesn't... Yeah, she likes to gamble, too. Oh, she does?

She likes to gamble, too. Oh, okay. That's good. So you guys are at the blackjack table together. Not blackjack table. Texas Hold'em table game. We're playing that together. I'm over at roulette for a little bit.

I'm playing over that. Love watching the spinny wheel of mushrooms. I can watch that wheel spin for hours. Fascinating. Did you forget whether you won or lost most of the time? Well, at one point, I started taking the guy's chips next to me and placing bets with them. And he said, I think you're putting bets now with my chips. And I said, well, I said, those look delicious.

And I said, well, they're the same color. And he looked at me and he goes, no, they're not at all. And he had purple chips next to him. Oh, this was for roulette. And I had yellow chips next to me. Yeah, everyone has different. They couldn't have been any more different in color. And I was like, well, and I said, sorry.

Well, they're pretty. I'm really messed up right now. So then at one point, I take her back to the room. I go back down to the elevator. And now I'm walking around. And I do about two or three laps around the casino. And I'm feeling really good because the mushrooms are kicking in. And I'm awake.

And I know I only have about, in my head, I only have three hours to kill. By the way, you took two or three laps. It was probably like 30 laps. I was walking around for a while. I feel like you can get lost. I walked outside and they had a waterfall situation going on outside the hotel. And I sat there and I stared at this waterfall. Cool.

What felt like, I thought it was hours. I was staring at the waterfall because I was out there and it felt so good. The warmness felt so good. And I was energized, but I was calm. And I gave myself some weird-ass pep talk about life. I don't remember what it was. Oh, yikes. But I was like, and then I went back in and I was like, all right, now I'm ready to call it.

I would really love to know what you told yourself. Dude, I remember thinking some stupid thought about how, like, the waterfall is cascading down, like, every challenge that I've ever had to face. It was, like, the weird—I went in there feeling so motivated and thinking to myself, now I can go upstairs and go to bed. And I walked back in, and I went out there at, like, 3.15 a.m. I come back inside. It's just 3.17 a.m. I thought I gave myself an hour-long pep talk. I was out there for two minutes, apparently, when this thing happened.

So then I realized now I have no more money on me. I've lost all my money gambling. Oh, already? And it's Friday night? It's Friday night. I have no money on me, and I left my ATM card intentionally but also annoyingly up in the room because I don't like to have access to my ATM card because I have a bit of a gambling problem. So now I have to make a decision.

Do I go upstairs, and do I potentially wake up my wife while I'm still up? and you know she would have she would have not let if I had come back in and woken her up and then said I have to go back out

because I can't go to sleep that wouldn't have like she would have been it would have been a problem okay so I said I should just not go into my room but I also had

when you have no money and you're walking around Vegas oh my god yeah what do you do no money you just have to walk up and down the strip I guess so I did leave

and I started but the strip is a very or you could get at second dinner and eat I wasn't it's weird I wasn't hungry again

but I also had that weird feeling where the strip you can be feeling great But also something can spook you really easily there, especially at that time. You can get real weird real quick because that's just how the strip is now. So I walked out and then I was like, I can't leave. I got really scared. So I went back in and I sat at a slot machine.

And luckily there was a lot of like groups of horny moms in town for the Backstreet Boys concert. So there was all the Backstreets were back. Yeah, the Backstreets were back. So there was all these like groups of like, you know, moms that were just like, you could just tell. just like mom mom it's our time mom weekend mom weekend and i ended up having like a couple of really like weird fun conversations with them and i told them i was like i'm on a lot of mushrooms right now and they're like we're thinking about trying those what do you think and i said oh i'm on a hero bar they said where do you get it and i even though i brought it from la i was like i

think it's somewhere on the strip go find it and uh next thing i knew i hadn't gambled didn't lose any money they did bring me some drinks i kept drinking and i walked upstairs at like the sun was starting to come up at like 5 45 or you know in the elevator so you just talked to moms for like talk to moms for a little bit um the other mom friends were probably so annoyed i just went to talking to she's talking to this weird guy on mushrooms i was able to buy stuff at the gift shop because i was able to charge stuff to my room that was the only thing that was my currency and uh and then i went back and then when i and then in the morning my wife said what time did you get home last night and i was like oh right after you i didn't tell her i was up all night

uh but you told her you had to do an all-nighter i told her i'd do an all-nighter and she said you She said you couldn't do it. You didn't have it in you. But the next night, this is where things got good because you guys, you know, I was all annoyed about this resort fee thing that they said, oh, you know, you have to pay an additional $55 a day. But don't worry. It comes with a bunch of crap you're never going to use, which is gym, business center, digital downloads of magazines and newspapers, and unlimited landline calling to Alaska and Hawaii. I said, I'm not going to let them get away with this resort fee crap. So I called.

I made a bunch of calls the next day. Was this when you were Saturday hungover? This was Saturday when I woke up. And I was up, you know, before 11. I didn't really sleep much. And it was easy for you to go to sleep? By that point, I just kind of laid in bed and passed out. And are we all just cool with word of mouth here?

I have video of different times of the day with clocks. With clocks I shot in the casino, too, for you assholes. I knew that's how you would say it. I'm just saying. Yeah, I was on my walk. Well, you said on the way out, I'm going to document everything. And I was like, okay. And then I saw, like, one post of an airplane and a cocktail.

I thought you wanted me to share on the air. I didn't think you wanted me to document it live. You said you were going to document it. I was like, okay, I was waiting. It's all documented here. So here, this is me calling, taking advantage of my resort fee. Hello? Hi, aloha.

Aloha. Aloha. I'm calling from Las Vegas. How are you? Doing good, thanks. This hotel I'm at has unlimited landline calling to Hawaii as part of my resort fee. So I'm trying to take advantage of that fee. Oh, wonderful.

so i'm just calling hawaii and also alaska as well awesome because the only other things included in the hotel room resort fee included digital downloads of like usa today and i'm not going to do that so i'm trying to get my money's worth i hear you yeah so figured this will probably unfortunately i can hear you make it worth my while so i just wanted to call and give you a very pleasant mahalo and aloha from las vegas hey right on thank you so much and uh what's going on there in hawaii right now i realized that they didn't really want to have chit chat with me and they didn't really care but they're all so nice they were friendly yeah we're working nice nice do you

guys like mainlanders or not really you can be honest of course oh good everybody we don't discriminate all right because i am a mainlander but i have been to hawaii and i'm a big fan of The banana bread. Oh, yeah. We have the best banana bread. See this nice conversation I'm having? I'm charging this to the hotel. Those MFers think they're going to hit me with a resort fee that I'm not going to use.

I would love if you misread this and it was not included and you have a huge bill. Well, I made a lot of calls. For all of these calls. I made a lot of calls. This one was my- How many times have you misread fine print or not read it at all? All the time. All the time.

I mean, a lot of times. How sure are we that this is included? It's said in bold letters, this is part of your resort fee that you have to pay. Yeah, well, when you look into it, because I did for a while, and they told me Crisco is the key. But thank you for taking the call, and I'll probably call back a few more times until I check out of this hotel. All right. You enjoy your day. Now, I remembered, Allie, while I was calling Hawaii, that you were upset about your recent luau experience there.

So I did call another Hawaiian luau to complain about your complaint about the luau not having what you wanted at it, which was more hot girls dancing with fire. There were no coconut bras. Right, so I did bring... They were all very close. So this is me calling now another Hawaiian luau. Hi, have I reached Hawaii? Yes, you did. Aloha, this is the Queen's Waikiki...

Now they transferred me to a digital assistant right out of the gate. This idiot needs a bot. Are you real or AI? Hello? AI assistant. Oh. Ah, I was looking for a human person. I understand you'd like to speak with a human team member.

while i'm the virtual assistant i can certainly take a message for you take a message we'll be happy to follow up with you to get started may i have your first and last name this sounds so authentically hawaiian thank you i appreciate that i'm here to help with any questions you have about our luau was there something specific you were looking for assistance with today yeah uh on the pictures on the side show a lot of fire dancing and stuff a lot of spinning fire but the reality i feel like when we get there it's just a bunch of kind of people in big dresses blowing into horns and shells uh would you agree there's not enough fire our show features a variety of polynesian performances including the traditional fire knife dance which is a

highlight of the evening it's a full experience that celebrates many aspects of polynesian culture not just one element would you like me to help you with anything else today no the reality is i'm just calling you from my hotel room in las vegas because i have unlimited calling to hawaii as part of my resort fee that's great that you have that perk is there anything i can help you with regarding our luau today i'm gonna ask this on behalf of my lesbian friend ali who went to a luau recently and said there weren't enough coconut bras do you guys have coconut bras i don't have information about the specific costume details for our performers our show focuses on authentic polynesian performances which is coconut bras is there anything else

i can help you with today uh no that'll do it thank you so anyway it didn't go great anyway most of my most of the rest of my trip to vegas before the game started and i went down to the sportsbook and lost the rest of my money was uh calling alaska and hawaii that was it here's me hi is this alaska this is wonderful i'm in las vegas right now uh calling from my hotel room apparently i have a part of my resort fee is unlimited calling to alaska and hawaii and i don't really know anyone there but i wanted to take advantage since the resort fee is not cheap so i just want to say hi hello and they were very pleasant she sounds like a bot too yeah she was real though and uh and she said uh you know i mean she goes on and on but the point kind of flirty

ali i'm telling you i think i had a chance with this girl if i might go to anchorage alaska and uh you know they're banging me out for 55 a day to use a fax machine which i'm never going to use so i decided i might as well call anyone that will answer in hawaii or alaska i got you you got to talk to somebody in alaska wonderful where are you anchorage nice are you at that time of the year where there's no sun forever no no so that doesn't actually happen it's like six weeks except on the very, very north slope where they don't get any sun for six weeks. But otherwise, in the wintertime for us, it's just like your regular, you know, getting dark at 5 or 6 p.m. What?

I don't know. How boring is that? Everything we thought we knew was a lie about Alaska. Alaska has lies. That's what I thought. That's like all I know about Alaska. I was like, that's literally what everyone thinks. And then she goes on to say this.

It's one place at the tippy top? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, they also believe that we live in igloos and ride polar bears. You do? That's what I said. Well, that part's true, right? Of course. Yes.

Okay. All right, well, thank you for taking the call. And where did I call? Sammy City Diner, yes. What is your specialty there for anyone who may be visiting? Chicken fried steak. Man, that sounds great. We make it here in-house.

And that's made with polar bear? If you want to tell people that, I won't deny it. Okay. So that's one of my many calls to Alaska as well. They're endangered, but have chicken fried polar bear. I do have a copy of my folio for you to look at so you can see just how many calls were made. That's my way of really sticking it to the resort fee, really sticking it to that. And when I did ask where the business center was, I had six different people that told me they had no idea.

I don't think even the people that built it probably know where it is. There's some other guy on mushrooms who's stuck in there. I may dispute that. We've got to take a quick break. Doesn't that sound like a funner summer was had? Sounds like you were miserable. That's funner summer. That was funner.