Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's All Nighter & Jake's Indoor Crickets (FULL SHOW 7/20)

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Jake the Nerd is hanging on by a thread after a cricket moved into the walls of his shack and refuses to leave. Sleep has become a distant memory, but there's finally some good news: he turned on the dating profiles Ally, Vanessa, and Johnny made for him, and one profile is clearly delivering. Believe it or not, Jake has an actual date with a real human later today! Meanwhile, Klein is still trying to recover from an unforgettable Vegas weekend that included an all-nighter, mushrooms, gambling, and chatting with a group of Backstreet Boys-loving moms. The night ended with making landline calls to Hawaii and Alaska from his hotel room in order to take full advantage of his resort fees. Plus, listeners shared the surprising things they gave up in solidarity with their pregnant partners, from alcohol and coffee to dairy, eggs, and even an entire Honduras vacation. We wrapped things up with an AMA from a lifeguard who pulled back the curtain on everything from dramatic rescues to the weirdest things people do at the beach. Ally Johnson

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet David Stank, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. the show started we are live in los angeles three two one and here we go ruin my hole got sleep in my eyes clouds in my head i need a shot of something to make my motor go Yes, I do Eggs! Whoa, that is a giant dog.

We have the herd. Hey, good night. I said, get your motor running for the Klein and Ellis Show. Cyclosporosis, a.k.a. exploding ass. It's Klein and Ellis Show. Low 6.7, KROQFM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh yeah, good morning and welcome to a brand new week. It is Monday here on K-Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. Pleasure to meet you. Oh, thanks for coming back for more. Some people still recovering from Friday. Some people say that was the weirdest show they ever heard us do.

I just have to say Friday show was one of the most wildest, craziest things I've heard in a long time. I think one of my favorite parts was when one of my parents was trying to impregnate Alley. And you just hear a little voice in the background going, no, no. It was Vanessa. You could hear the voice of concern in her voice, and you guys were completely ignoring her. But it was crazy. But again, my favorite part was hearing Vanessa completely worried, hearing her little voice in the background. That was an interesting show, to say the least.

But Allie was impregnated by a one-armed Gary who now has two arms, although that second arm is a bit wonky. But it was not impregnated by a one-armed Gary or a one-armed Charlie, as that person said. He did give you the final shot of progesterone in your butt. So today, Allie, is not getting injected. Oh, my God. I'm just so happy. If you've been tuning in for the nudity, I'm sorry. Today is going to be a big disappointment.

Allie's pants are going to stay on for the entire show. You know, I realize that this whole process has been confusing for a lot of people. And seeing some of the comments on the one-armed Gary shot video that went up yesterday, someone was like, why is she doing shots again? I don't understand. I thought she got pregnant already. And someone was like, she lost the baby. They're doing it all over again.

And I'm like, what? Like, they just don't. They're like, what? I know you've explained it to me, Allie. I can't keep up either. You don't even know if I'm pregnant. And I was trying to explain to someone else what the hell is going on. Because now, once you know someone that went through the IVF process and everyone else is in a struggle, you've got to give them that feel-good story.

So I was like, I was talking to someone who was all bummed out because they just had another fail, I guess. And I said, well, my lesbian co-host has a lesbian wife who put her womb inside of her tummy. And they had a, oh, forget it. I don't know, and I just gave up. I don't even know what's happening, but I do know that you are pregnant right now. I am. That much I do know. Are you confirming that with me?

That I'm confirming, I believe, and we're growing. We'll have to check in with your stomach later and see what the baby's saying, obviously. But other than that. It's my biggest regret through this whole process is having to hear that bit again. Don't worry. It's insufferable. Omar can turn the mics up louder, so if you don't want to participate, we can hear it. But anyway.

Let's talk to the baby. Allie's pregnant right now, so if you're wondering why she's all emotional and mood swingy, that'll explain it, right? Yeah, that helps. Thank you so much. She loves that. The rest of us are not pregnant. I think we both got bad sleep all weekend for totally different reasons. Oh, God.

I'll talk about my all-nighter in Vegas. Was I successful or not? Some people were thrilled to see me go. I was surprised. I'm always surprised when I end up anywhere. I always assume most plans I make are not going to happen. Yeah, I know. I saw the video of you just on the plane, and I was like, oh, look at that.

Most people are like, whoa, look at that. And then I'm equally surprised when you come back. I'm like, look at that. He made it back. I as well. So we'll get into that a little bit later. Of course, Jake has been apparently getting some nice action on his dating apps ever since Allie went through and fixed him up with Vanessa's help.

So we'll see how that's looking. And we've got tickets for you today. Lots of tickets. If you want to go see The Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more, the new Oceanway Festival, you'll be at the debut episode of that entire festival happening in Santa Monica on September 26th. We have tickets for you a couple of times today, starting at 9 and then again at 10. and the newest roller coaster in Southern California. You will be on it.

That's right. We're sending you to Universal Studios to experience Fast and Furious like never before. So all of that is coming up and so much more. If you need us, phone's open, text line open. Good to be back together again on KROQ. We are Kline Alley Show. KROQ, we are Kline Alley Show.

Good afternoon, Kline and Alley. You guys aren't stupid. You're the greatest show on radio. We'll prove that wrong over the next four hours together. in a moment you'll have a chance to take some of Allie's money and if you want it I recommend you get on the phones now 800-520-1067 five questions about the news, do better than Allie

and watch her pay the people, Friday she almost came close to paying out that $500 I did, yes, but we gave away some of that sweet limited edition merch and I know what you're thinking if you're calling today and there's already been people on the text line saying, are you guys continuing to hook us up with all that merch and the answer is, I completely forgot

that we have it, but yes I think we still have some things left, oh yeah we have plenty left i already saw people wearing some of the shirts i wore a i've never been intimate with jake's shirt over the weekend for my pajamas and it was a huge c-block oh really no one wants to have sex with you either the shirt is so powerful no one will want to be intimate with you yeah like i changed and i came downstairs and katie looked at me and went oh man i'm sorry wow okay i guess sex is out of the question we sat on opposite sides of the couch while we watched a movie But it's a comfortable shirt.

People are demanding it. And I wish we had, I wish, I know some people say, look, it's not fair. You're not selling it. But we don't believe in making money in this country. Yeah, we don't believe in profit around here. We also don't believe in taking advantage of the listeners. You give us some of your time every day. You listen to the show.

You download. Every once in a while, you subscribe or check us out on YouTube. That's all we could possibly ask for. We don't need you to also, on top of everything else, spend money on shirts. But this woman says she wants to. Hey, guys. I'm catching up on today's show. and i just saw the cool merch you have the shirts the hats and i know that you said that you're not

going to make people pay for it you're going to give it away which is really nice but i want to give you money for that merch please please please please please make it sellable and if it's like k-rock being like we don't want to buy a bunch of shirts we won't put the money up please take pre-orders and just order what you sell please we really want to support you guys i want to wear those shirts i want to wear those hats all the time i'm begging you i mean look i know what she's saying what she's saying is the that's what good business would be right that's a good business plan oh we'll have people pre-order they'll pay in advance and we'll make what we sell didn't we try something like that but we failed miserably k-rock tried that yeah that was that

was not us that was the k-rock shop and they thought but even that was a terrible everything about that was not good oh they shut it down they shut it down real quick yeah the k-rock shop went the way of soup plantation except without the people and bed bath and beyond without the people demanding it come back even those places had a bunch of people like bring it back yeah without the people going oh man i'm gonna miss that yeah so there was an attempt to do that uh wasn't johnny one of the models that was i think where they went wrong i think johnny was one of the models for the k-rock shop and i think it was just him naked in a room full of the bosses here and they had no shirt for him to model but i do have a pair of k-rock slides that are pretty cool yeah those

were never officially made for the general public because they contained lead. I'm up here in the Bay Area, and I want to wear my Client Alley Show shirt and hat. Thank you. Please. You just got to keep listening. Help me eat those things.

Yes, it's much more fun to win them from us. You'll have a chance. Don't worry. We'll have chances for you to win some of that stuff coming up. In fact, we'll throw another piece of new merch in the mix if you miss out on Alley's money this morning. So play the game. If you win, you get $100.

If you lose, a limited edition piece of Client Alley Show merch. We'll come back with that, And then we've got lots of show to get into this morning and lots to give you. So be ready to call and play and interact starting immediately at 800-520-1067. That is next. Think of how much better your Monday will be if you have an extra $100 to go out and blow on God knows what. That money could be yours in a moment if you do better than Allie with five questions about the news. But don't worry because even if you lose, don't get the $100.

You will still get yourself a piece of limited edition Klein Allie Show merch. It is not stuff you will ever see at the Met Gala. but they are shirts that say things like I've never been intimate with Jake on them or hats that say 323-TIP-BOLI. Regardless, you can get yourself some merch if you are wrong, but if you win, $100 could be yours. We say hi to Daniel in Gardena. Good morning, Daniel. Welcome to KROQ.

Awesome. Great start. Hello, Daniel. Danielle? I'm going to assume I'm wrong here. Can you hear me? Hello? Good morning. Good morning, Daniel. Thanks for joining us. I was so close to hanging up on you. By a second, you came through. Let's get into your round.

I regret doing this, but we will continue to play with you regardless. Allie will leave the KROQ studios now. I feel great about this. As soon as she's out of here, you will get to go. Please answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately. No cheating. Let's see how the rest of the world would have done had they been on the hot seat right now.

And here we go. Allie knows the news. We start with probably the biggest story in the world. Jackie, famous Big Bear Eagle Jackie of the power couple Jackie and Shadow has been injured. Bad news. Omar thought about taking a personal day today. Yeah, that's true. What is the reason or how do they believe Jackie got injured?

Fire. Fire. Oh, man. We've got a question number two. Only one red card was given out during the World Cup finals yesterday to a player from what team? Argentina. Question three. The FDA is apologizing to who after saying that perhaps they're not the reason that people were getting leaky ass?

Taylor Farms. Question number four. We talked about how this movie, The Odyssey, is doing quite well here in America. But globally, just how much money did it haul in its opening weekend? $275 million. $275 million. And final question. Speaking of millions, there's a new number out there.

They say this is how much money you should have if you'd like to retire in America. Americans believe that this is the new number you must have if you want to ever retire. What is that number? Two million. Two mil. All right. Let's bring Allie in. We'll score together once again on those questions about money.

The two of us ever closest, we'll get the point. And here we go. You're battling Daniel. He started slow, but he's come back strong, Allie. He's not as much of a dummy as you were probably hoping for. I was hoping for a dummy. Pressure's on. And question number one.

Biggest story in the world. Sadly, Jackie of the power couple Jackie and Shadow, Big Bear Eagle, has been injured. How do they believe Jackie was injured? I believe she got in a bitch fight with some other eagles. All right. He said fire related. But the correct answer is it was an eagle on eagle fight that took place. Yeah, like that brawl at the In-N-Out with eagles.

With eagles. And I don't think there's anything more patriotic or more symbolic of what this country is like right now than two eagles fighting. I know. What's the world coming to? That is the correct answer. Eagle on eagle is Allie's favorite genre of porn, and she is part of it.

So we've got a question two. Allie's up one nothing. Question two. The FDA is now apologizing to who after saying that perhaps they were not responsible for everyone getting leaky ass. Oh, Taco Bell? Oh, interesting.

Allie says Taco Bell. The correct answer is not Taco Bell. FDA is apologizing to Taylor Farms. Really? Taylor Farms is the people that supposedly provided the lettuce that went to Taco Bell. But Daniel said Taylor Farms, and now he has tied things up 1-1. T-Farms? With the apology going to Taylor Farms directly.

FDA says they'll never apologize to Taco Bell for nothing. We go to question number three. It is all tied up. There was only one red card given out during the World Cup yesterday finals. Which team, which player on which team got them? Not what player. Which player on which team? The player on which team received the red card?

It was Argentina. He got that as well, Argentina. I couldn't tell you one player. Controversial red card, but still, did it change anything? It made things a little more interesting for a few minutes. We got to question number four, and it's still tied up with two questions left. We talked about how much money the Odyssey made here in America, but worldwide, how much money did that movie, The Odyssey, bring in opening weekend? I think it made $260 million.

All right, he said $275 million. I said closest would get the point. Correct number, globally, was $254 million. Allie gets closer, so she gets the point. And it comes down to this final question as Allie goes up by one again. It's a real back-and-forth battle. They now believe that you need this much money if you'd like to retire in America. This is the new number that has been released.

And this is the number that Americans believe that they need to have if you would like to comfortably, or even uncomfortably, You just want to retire, not work anymore? How much money do you have to have, I guess, liquid or in the bank or whatever? What is the number? $75 billion. Is that your real guess? I'm going to guess $3 million.

He said $2 million. But the good news is, if you're smart about it, you pull an Omar and you know exactly what you're doing, you can retire with $1.2 million. No way. That's what they say. And that's America, by the way. It's a lot cheaper to live in a lot of places in America other than right here. So I just are an agoraphobe and never leave your house and have dinner, just have one meal a day, move to Vermont or something or some other way, fly over place.

I don't know. Well, anyway, I hope you get dementia or something. He was closer. So once again, this thing ends in a boring ass tie. A little less interesting than the game. So that that being said, ties go to the house around here. So Ali has no money for you. But Daniel, you do have your choice of some limited edition Klein Ali show merch. What do you want? Hat? Shirt?

I'd love a hat. All right. We're going to go ahead and send you a make Ali fat again since you just beat her almost in the round of Ali Knows the News. You're going to get your very own moffa hat, all right? All right. Very excited. Thank you all. And what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock?

Go ahead. My name is Daniel, and Ali knows the news. Tomorrow morning around this time, another chance for you to win some of Ali's money or at least some of our merch on KROQ. Good morning. K-Rock, we're your client, Ali's show. Jake, is it true you've got a roommate in the shack? Oh, yeah. Well, it's funny for us, but you don't find it very funny, huh?

Yeah, it sucks. It's progressively getting worse and worse. Usually it's just crickets at my show. Probably what they're saying, too. Yeah. Probably what the roommates say. Your comedy routine? Jake, as you know, is the king of the crickets,

and when he performs comedy, it doesn't matter where he goes. There always is the sound of crickets, which is the universal sign of what is being said is not funny. Yeah, it's wild because one of the first sets that we heard him do, he gave us the audio and we listened to it, and you can literally hear tons of crickets in the background. And I guess you were performing outside? Yeah, that show was outside.

He always has a reason why the crickets are there. And the first one, it made a little sense, because he's like, well, the show was outside, so what do you expect? And we go, all right, fine. But then we saw him at a bar in North Hollywood that was inside, and the crickets were there as well. Yeah, that's because someone was playing them Well, that particular time

Remember during the drive-thru Where the guy was like Oh, there was crickets there too I know, they follow him around He's like the Pied Piper Yeah, you went to the drive-thru And we also heard crickets there It's ridiculous

Because I never hear them Well, Jake claims that he now has crickets That have moved into his shack And this is some of the audio That he hears at his house oh my god and this is inside jake this is inside this morning that's scratching you here is kibby on the rug driving trying to kill herself out of there i gotta dig myself a hole oh my god it's probably so much more annoying for a dog too of course and the thing is you can't find

it i i know it's around where it's at because when i tap on that part of the ceiling or the wall it shuts up for like 30 seconds but then i can hear that over my ac all night from like 9 p.m to this morning jake i would think for a guy like you that hears crickets everywhere you go in your life that you would at this point just be kind of it would just be background noise you wouldn't even notice i was hoping so too but no yeah because i mean you really do you were constantly surrounded by cricket i've never it's it's almost comical i mean it is it's comical way more comical than jake i think this is like um you know when jewish people go to israel like it's their mecca. It's their

big trip where it's like, I have to see Jake. The crickets travel around the world to meet Jake? Yes. This is the man? It's like their lifetime religious experience. Right. If you're a cricket, you've got to go ahead and hear Jake try to tell a joke so you can let out your cricket sounds. Exactly. Damn. I've got the cricket in my house now.

All night! You think that's just a... He's waiting for you to tell a joke! You think that's just one, Jake? Well, it's just one inside my house. There are numerous outside, and it's pissing me off because I keep two spider bouncers at my front door, and it got past those. Oh, so you keep – there's a couple big spiders outside your place? There's two spiders.

There's a spider that builds a web across my door every night, and there's a spider in a succulent by my door. I'm trying to shut you in like a coffin. You should listen to nature, dude. I don't think they want any parties. I think nature's trying to take over your space. Dude, it sucks. What's the plan at this point? I think you have to move, right?

I don't know. I don't know. I can't get in the crack where he's hiding. I stuck a knife in there, tried to stab him, and then he just shuts up for 30 seconds and starts up again. I wish we had footage of Jake versus the cricket. I just wish because you're never going to beat it. It's like tearing up the floorboards. Damn you!

And then he finally gets to one. There's like four others where that one came from. Yeah, they could be breeding. I mean, I don't think there's any audio you've ever brought us that has not had crickets in the background. And then, yes, I know the thing that your comedy show that was a listener or someone there that you were, even though you accused me many times of playing the sound effect, you realize this is just going to make this happen again. Like, now that you are the kick it king, that's a tough one to say. You know what you are. Yes, thank you.

It's hard to say. I don't think you're the kick it king either. No, but the reality is, Jake, this is your life now. I mean, there's no escaping them. It's terrible. You must be giving off some sort of a pheromone. You sound like you haven't gotten much sleep. No, I'm exhausted.

all because of this he's just up all night yes man I took a nap and I woke up like at nine and this thing was going I could hear it over my AC

it sucks some people actually pay to have like sound machines that make this noise because they think it's so it'd be different it was like a chirp chirp chirp chirp

it's not like that it's just rapid fire like that constantly yeah it is very fast it seems like a cricket on crack but it's probably so excited that he's around Jake well Jake

They're Jesus. Jake, congratulations. You are at least beloved. I know that it's very important for you to be loved. And we'll find out later if you're getting any hits on your new updated dating profile. I want you to try some of your comedy routine in the Jake Shack and see if the crickets are louder, quieter, soft. Cricket applause? Yeah.

Do us a favor. Tonight, when you're there sitting around, do some of your material. Work on your material. Let's see if it brings out more of the crickets. Okay. I'm hoping it's so bad it goes away. Yeah, maybe that cricket. I can see that cricket leaving.

I'm just saying, someone put a shoe on me and end it. Yeah, see that Mary Jane joke? Appearance of my boner. All your old stuff. Yeah. Do the classics. Yeah. Your greatest hits for the crickets, Jake.

It's a good idea. Lots to give you this morning, just for starting your week with us here at KROQ. And that includes a brand new festival that's coming to Santa Monica. This is not a bad way to kick things off with the Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more. It's called Ocean Way Festival. And we will get you in starting at 9 a.m. and every hour thereafter all day long. So you'll be at the first-ever Ocean Way Festival. You think back now to those people that brag about, oh, I was at the first-ever Coachella.

I was there year one. They hadn't even figured it out yet. Or the Vans Warped Tour people. That's right. Now they get to experience that glory all over again because that's back. So we will get you into this one just announced happening in Santa Monica on September 26th. And we got your tickets coming up later this morning. And if you want to go ride the rides, we are moments away from getting you to be one of the first human beings on planet Earth to ride the new Fast and Furious ride.

I've been watching them test this thing. where it feels like forever. I know. It looks, I mean, fast. Looks awesome. It looks very fast. It looks awesome. But the way that...

Are you going to ride it? I know you're a little scared of roller coasters. Well, I don't want to wait in line. And I feel like the lines are going to be super long for a while. If you could skip the line. If there was an ability to skip the line, yeah. I mean, I said, to me, the fun of a roller coaster would be one of the first people on to test it.

Because when you're in the testing phases, that's when it's exciting. Because you don't know if maybe they go, oopsies, this was one inch too short. I don't think that'll happen. here they've been testing this forever but i've been watching this probably wouldn't happen for you but no plenty of room for this guy but i would uh i would definitely want to go on it early because then you get to be one of the first people to ride it and i've been i'm telling you i've seen

this thing now with no one on it and then i've seen it with whatever like weighted dummies they've had on it oh i wish i could be a weighted dummy oh and it looks looks really cool they've been building this we've been watching this thing i remember when they first broke ground and they Like, rumor has it, this will be a Fast and Furious roller coaster. I wonder if we... And I was like, no one's going to care about the franchise by the time they finish this thing. And more people care than ever before. Yeah, than ever before.

If we had an opportunity to go together, even though I'm technically not supposed to ride roller coasters, I'd do it. I'd risk it for you. You would go on it? Can you go on... You can't go on any roller coasters while pregnant? No, I think it scrambles everything. I think it scrambles the baby's brain or something. I can't remember.

But that's like... Is that a sign that people take seriously or one of the signs, like, they don't go in the hot tub if you have diarrhea sign? No, I think that people do. They do? Yeah, I do wonder what rules people have broken in pregnancy because I feel like it totally depends who you talk to. Oh, I ate sushi the whole time. What are you talking about? Oh, no, I smoked cigarettes.

No, I went on roller coasters. Hot tub? Love them. Sauna? No problem. Old people love that, like, you know, our parents. We all turned out fine. Yeah, they love that whole, like, whiskey every day, cigarettes.

I didn't even cook eggs. We just ate them raw. I know, and now it's like, there's a slight risk of listeria. So just avoid deli meats at all costs for the entire pregnancy. Well, pregnant or not, we will let you ride the Fast and Furious ride before pretty much anyone else, and we will get you into Universal Studios. That will be coming up just after 8 o'clock, so be ready to call in and claim those tickets. Fat and Furious Alley, they're calling it, from 310.

Thank you for that. Quick break. We're back in a moment with the actual news to get into, and then I'll share with you all things that took place as I completed one of my funner summer challenges by pulling an all-nighter in Vegas, and I took full advantage of everything that was on my resort fee by forcing myself to do all of the things, which means lots of phone calls to Alaska and Hawaii.

Alaska? A lot of calls. Way too many calls. I'll come back with that in much more detail. Tune into Universal Studios in moments. Right now, though, let's get into your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

The World Cup is over. Spain scored in the second half of overtime, or extra time as they call it. Spain also won the Women's World Cup, so they are the first country to hold both the titles for the women and men's teams simultaneously. That being said, the game itself felt insufferably long and boring, and they tried to make it a little more entertaining with FIFA's first halftime show. But if you saw it, I get what they're trying to do.

It's obviously cool to see a lot of performances from Grammy-winning artists, but it was way too much too soon for a first halftime show. It's kind of like when a kid picks out their own outfit. There's just way too much going on at once, and nothing goes together. A crown. And you're like, none of this goes. But they're trying to appeal to the world. So how do we appeal to the world?

Let's give Justin Bieber a guitar and then shake some ass. We couldn't pick just one. We had to go with everybody. You had Madonna. You had an orchestra. Then you had the Muppets, K-pop. Then you had Ted Lasso skits. Then you had Justin Bieber show up, totally brought the energy down with the guitar thing.

And then Shakira was the only part of it that made any sense to me. I was like, this feels good. This feels like a halftime show vibe that we're looking for. Then it went back to weird again with a kid's choir. And everybody went on to the field at the end. And they sang with the kids about love. And it just kind of felt like everything was trying too hard. I feel like they should have just picked one artist, kept it at 15 minutes, 20 max, and moved on.

Like, just Shakira would have been great. Perfect. And also, soccer fans were upset because it was twice as long as the halftime is supposed to be. It's supposed to just be 15 minutes because the pace of play is so important. And if everyone's just sitting around for 30 minutes, no one really expects that or wants that. So it kind of just delayed everything, especially because it went into extra time. It was like a three-hour thing. They should have had all of those different artists attempt to shoot goals.

And whichever one of them scored the goal got to perform. Oh, man. So doing a penalty kick into Madonna's face. And then you go right into it. That would be amazing. Probably would have made it better. I was in Vegas at a sports book, and not one person gave any Fs when that halftime show came. The amount of focus that was on the game, obviously a lot of people had money on the game,

but the amount of focus that was on the game while the game was being played was crazy, even though it was a long snooze fest. It was? Yeah. I can't believe that, man, because it's such a snoozer. I know, because I think people had all sorts of different bets for different things. So, I mean, I think some people are betting 0-0. They wanted no goals.

So for them, it was exciting. But during that halftime, you know, it was on all the TVs. No one cared at all. Like, no one was watching, gathered around. Like, you would think, like, a Super Bowl halftime show where everyone cared about it. Yeah, I know. I kind of turned it up, and I was like, oh, I want to watch this. And then it just moved so quickly to the next thing.

And I was like, this is on crack. Like, this is too much. It was just, like, paint splattered on a wall. It was like Chris Martin, because he helped curate it. It was like he went through his contacts, and they put some offers out, and then everyone said yes. So it was like, oh, damn. I sent the last text out. I guess we'll just take everybody.

As one heat wave ends, another begins. They say that this next one will be, quote, long and dangerous. Exciting. During this last heat wave, we thankfully got no baby in a hot car stories. But I will share an old lady in a hot car story. Oh, no. This actually ended okay. The grandma's fine.

But she was trapped in a hot car by her grandmother. The car's never going to get that smell out, though. That's the problem. Old lady smell? I feel like, and this is a Tesla. Those things trap in a smell. It's just not good. Are you okay?

Huh? A Kitsap County Sheriff's deputy tries to communicate with a woman locked inside a car in the summer heat. The woman spoke only Spanish, and the deputy didn't, so it was difficult to understand her predicament. She'd stayed behind inside the vehicle in a parking lot while her granddaughter was conducting business inside. The granddaughter left the Tesla in what's called pet-safe mode that's designed to run the air conditioner. It also makes it impossible to open the car doors from the inside, but something went wrong. The air conditioner didn't work. The air conditioner wasn't running, and the woman was trapped in the car for more than an hour as it heated up to over 100 degrees inside.

Ma'am, do you have a white Tesla? Okay, is that your grandmother in there? They found her eventually. They had to look in all these different shopping centers. Soon, the grandmother was let out, finally able to cool down. And now they're, like, investigating this as, like, potential elder abuse. Really? Yeah.

At least she's trying to snuff her grandma, get some of that inheritance. Like, I'll be right back, Grandma. I'm going to put it in dog mode. Conducting some business. Everything was real shady about that, huh? You know, I put my car in dog mode one time, and you can even put the name of the pet in there so it, like, flashes on the screen. I wonder what you do for a grandma. Well, she survived, so happy ending.

She survived. She did. What is the proper way to dress and eat a hot dog? Apparently, there is a hot dog council that has released a list of rules and etiquette when eating hot dogs this summer. Let's listen to these news reporters barely get through this story. As you fire up hot dogs on the grill, there are some etiquette rules you may want to follow according to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council. They say you should not put toppings between the hot dog and the bun. Instead, you should dress the dog. What? They also say you should always eat hot dogs on buns with your hands. Utensils should not be involved.

and it should take more than five bites to finish a hot dog for a foot long at least seven bites is acceptable also ketchup on hot dogs is for children yeah i don't know including me deciding this how many people are on this council like why is there a crazy council in the first place okay but let's go real rogue and just start a fight this morning is it a sandwich oh that old thing a hot dog. I agree with most of what they said. They're very annoying, these people, but I agree with most of what they said. I have seen people before that throw

the toppings on the bun and then put the dog on top and it changes. It's not right because the bun starts to soak up the toppings. It's not how it should be. When I get a hot dog, I open it up, fan it out, and I put the toppings in between. It's on top. It's not underneath the hot dog. You know what you should do, Allie?

You want the real answer? You split the dog. Give the dog a split. What do you mean, split? Split down long ways? They split down long ways, the dog. Oh, you mean, like, cut a line down the middle? And then you create a little canoe for the toppings. I see. But do you agree about the ketchup?

Because I kind of agree that the ketchup... I mean, if you're just doing ketchup, then, yes, I think that's a kid's thing. But if you're doing ketchup mixed with all the other stuff, I think that's okay. To me, it is the least important of the toppings. I think that it just enhances the flavor of the other toppings. It's a skippable, but, I mean, mustard obviously reigns supreme,

But Vanessa, you're the hot dog queen around here. I know Vanessa likes to do it Colombian style, which has like, I think, mayonnaise and chips on it or something. Right, Vanessa? Yeah, it has pink sauce and chips and pineapple sauce. What is pink sauce? I worry about that in Colombia. Pink sauce is ketchup and mayonnaise mixed. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so she's got a whole different style for it. But all right, well, there we have it. Important news being covered here at KROQ this morning. And we get into a brand new hour of the show right now. And if you would like to experience a roller coaster before any other human on planet Earth, we'd love to send you to Universal Studios if you're the 20th caller right now at 800-520-1067. Let's go. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Oh, yeah. You ready? Kick off your summer. Perhaps you have not been having a funner summer like we've been encouraging everyone to do. I believe this upcoming weekend, a camping trip is going to be happening with Allie and Vanessa. This past weekend, I pulled my all-nighter in Vegas and attempted to accomplish another thing on Funner Summer list. So we'll get into that this hour on the show. But we would love to help you have a funner summer.

And we would love to do that by sending you to Universal Studios Hollywood, Fast and Furious, Hollywood Drift, opening summer 2026. Guess what? It's summer 2026. So let's get you onto the ride that they've been working on for a while. And we will, of course, give away those tickets right now to the 20th caller. Unlike the PeopleMover, this ride opened on time. I know. It opened when they said it would open. It's amazing all these other things that are supposed to happen.

That are much riskier to humans, and they're able to do it fine. When the government's involved, we'll push that back a couple years. No one will know. But you need a roller coaster built by a certain time. Boy. They were doing test rides for that, too, and then they just stopped. They were on it. They were like, we've got to fix some stuff still.

Here's a person, Allie, that is super excited because they claim that everything that we've given out on this show has made their life better. And they don't win everything, but when they do win, they wanted to appreciate the victory. And I'm going to say there's something nice about winning from us because it does feel good to win on the radio. And then when you get to actually go somewhere and experience something. When there's follow through, it always feels good. Yeah, it feels. Because you kind of feel like people are just going to lie to you and say you have tickets to something and then you never get the email. But we do send stuff and you do go to stuff.

We do some stuff occasionally. And this guy wanted to say he appreciates it. Hey, how's it going, guys? Dude, you guys are awesome. I appreciate all the love and everything. You guys got me Wild Rivers tickets, Cabana, and a $100 food pass. I felt like a rock star. You guys make everything awesome.

So that's just one person that won something from us and said that we make everything awesome. So now it's our chance to make something awesome for you. as we say good morning to Kimberly in Moreno Valley. Good morning, Kimberly. Good morning. I'm going to give you, technically these tickets are yours, but let's just go ahead and test your Fast and

Furious knowledge, shall we? I'm going to give you three Fast and Furious movies. One of them is made up. The other two are real. Figure out which one is made up and you'll get to experience this Fast and Furious ride at Universal Studios. You ready to go? I'm ready. Alright, Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift.

Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shaw or Fast and Furious the LAX People Mover? Oh, that's very, very hard, but I'm going to go for the LAX People Mover. Yeah, that one is not real. It's not fast, but it's plenty furious.

That's for sure. So hold on one second. Enjoy yourself some Universal Studios. You will be there. Universal Studios Hollywood. Tickets are as good as yours and enjoy that new ride, all right? Woo-hoo, thank you.

I'm excited. You're very welcome. Hold on one second. I believe that's four tickets. Four tickets. Whoa, look at us. The generosity knows no bounds here at KROQ. Another chance to win those tickets from us every single morning this week.

We'll make that happen for you. It's time for your Strokes on KROQ. What is the one thing that you were doing wrong that is letting criminals know that your house is very robbable? This is a question that we'll get into. It's one question and one question only. And it's time for Clickbait. Here we go. crime reporters have revealed how burglars choose which homes to target and the one mistake that

you are doing that is potentially inviting them right inside your front door so think about that for a second we have an answer it must be true it's on the internet of course you want the answer because you don't want to get robbed and as you know there's no shortage of robberies that are happening all over southern california right now so be on the lookout i would imagine this information probably applies to most robberies so if you ever had your house apartment broken into that's a terrible feeling mostly because there's a mess i mean it sucks when they steal your stuff that's but i think usually it's that for the most part burglars are very messy and they leave a big mess behind then you got to clean up the mess and you have missing stuff well i would love to just

have one burglar that respects the home while they steal from it put a coaster down if you're gonna rob me yeah so anyway according to once again crime reporters they reveal how burglars Now choose the homes to target and the one mistake that you're making to invite them in. Allie, we'll start with you. God, it's so hard because I feel like nothing works. There's nothing that deters the burglars, you know. Even if you have a home security system, I don't think it matters at all. What if you have a, please don't rob me, Klein Allie show sign.

That is the only thing. It's the only thing that keeps them away. I think if you don't have any cars in the driveway, that is a target. No cars in the driveway is a target. Because they make it seem like you're gone a lot. If there's no cars in the driveway during the day, oh, there's nobody home, easy to rob, especially if you go out of town a lot. No cars in the driveway equals Target. And what is the mistake that you're making?

Posting about your vacations. Ah. No cars, plus you post on Instagram, I'm on a beach. Yes. Interesting. I'm out of town, just to let you know. Jake the Nerd, what is the, in your opinion, I'll give you the answer in a moment, what is the one thing that makes your house more robbable? and what is the mistake you're making?

I think the old school mistake is that you've got too many old newspapers at your doorstep. That was like the old thing, but people don't read the newspaper anymore. So maybe it's just like a pileup of mail. Yeah, just a signal that no one's really taking care of the place. Yeah, no one has been there for a couple of days.

This modern day version of that example could be packages perhaps from Amazon, a few of them still sitting there. I feel like no one leaves them there though because they're going to get stolen. But they could go, I could porch pirate them, but I guess they're not home, so I could go inside. If I steal this much from the porch, imagine how much more I could get from the inside. Yeah, imagine the goodies inside.

Omar, what do you think it is? What makes your house more robbable, and what is the mistake you're making that is inviting them right inside? I think, yeah, along the same lines of Ali, anything that's going to make your house look vacant and like nobody's home. Like, I usually do a little timer on the light so it turns on at night. So you want to make sure that your house looks lived in, like somebody's there. Do you just have it turn on once, or do you have it turn on and off, like, throughout the night? It looks like someone's getting up to go to the bathroom and making snacks and stuff. Morse code, don't rob me.

Turn it on around 8 o'clock. It's a strobe light effect. There's a party going on. Wait, wait. Omar, it's an outside light or an inside light? Inside. Wow. I have outside lighting, too.

So a light goes on inside your home? Yeah, the hallway light, yep. Whoa. Oh, that's so cool. I didn't know you could time those lights. You guys are all on the right page here, which is obvious, is that for the most part, they would much rather rob a home to tempt you. It's much easier for them.

They'll still rob you, but it's easier. But the answer is so they obviously look for homes that appear that no one is there, and by that, they will oftentimes do this method, and they talk to a lot of burglars, and they say the simple method is just to knock and see what happens. If they don't hear any footsteps, they don't hear any TV, there's no voices inside the house, they pretty much know that the coast is clear for them and the biggest mistake that we are making is that when you hear someone knock at the door no one ever wants to encounter people so what do we all do ignore we all hide we hide and we try to not make any noise so what we are doing is like

i do with trick-or-treaters right the same thing you do and what you are doing is accidentally now hiding because you're going oh i don't want to go there's someone at the door that's probably trying to sell me solar i'm just going to hide if it's a burglar they are going oh i don't hear anyone in there there's no footsteps i don't hear any talking i guess we can go ahead and smash a back window and the amount of people now that are being quote robbed while home or at least they're entering or trying to break in it's because they were they didn't want to answer the knock at the door wait a minute so the thing that you're doing that makes you a target is just they knock at the door that's how they case the place it's you being silent you should you should

make noise when that happens can't come to the door right you should say something sorry can't come to the door right but the first question was what makes them a target what makes you a target If your house, if they don't think you're home, you're a target. But then the mistake you're making. Just in general, if they don't think you're home. They don't think you're home. That's a, any house that appears that you're not home for whatever. So all of our answers are correct.

All the reasons are right. They've got a few ways they look at it, but if they don't think there's any action or activity, but when they finally do knock, which is usually what they'll do first, because knocking, there's no crime in knocking on a door. There's no reason to say they're going to rob it. They could be trying to convert you. They could be giving you a, you know, as I said, selling you solar. So once they knock, the mistake that we're all making is we're hiding.

instead of making a lot more noise. We should knock back. I like to hide and then go on the ring thing and be like, hello? Who are you? Just leave it at the door. Leave me. Please turn around.

All right, there we go. We've saved your life with a round of clickbait. We're back in a moment. I was given the task of pulling an all-nighter, and I decided the only town I could possibly do that in would be Vegas. It involved a mushroom chocolate bar, gambling, and a lot of landline calls to Hawaii and Alaska,

and we will get into all of that after this on Playbots. Hopefully you're having a fun summer. We made it our mission around here to make it a funner summer because apparently fun is becoming harder and harder to get these days. No one's having it anymore. No one's prioritizing it. It's gotten too expensive. So did you have it?

You know, listen, I don't know if pulling an all-nighter, I think in theory is fun. I guess if you're doing it because you're having fun and you happen to be up all night until the sun comes up, it's fun. But if you're predetermined. If you're forcing yourself and looking and going, all right, I just need to stay up for two more hours. It can be fun.

I tried a few different things. The answer is I was successful because I had to do it. I have a bunch of video, which I'll be posting today on our socials. Well, so a couple questions, and then I'll answer that. Were you guys expecting that I did a 24-hour, because there was two different schools of thought. Was it a 24-hour challenge that I was up for 24 full hours, or was it that I pulled an all-nighter and stayed up until the sun came up about 6 in the morning? That sounds about right. That one.

Yeah. Okay. I got confused because people were wishing me luck on the staying up for 24 hours thing, which meant for me, I made it my plan, even though I was in Vegas for two nights, that I was going to make Friday night my all-night night because I was already up at 5 in the morning for the radio show on Friday, and I thought it would be easier for me to stay up. Why would it be easier if you've been up since that early? Because I thought that if I had to do it on Saturday and I wanted to sleep in, and let's say I woke up on Saturday at, you know, noon, I'd have to stay up again until noon. I thought it was a 24-hour staying awake period. Oh, why did you think that?

I don't know. I don't know why I thought that. And listeners confused me on DMing me. So I was like, I got to sleep. I thought an all-nighter just meant you stay up all night. So I did it the night I got there. Because, to be honest, and I showed you that on Saturday. It was stupid.

Yeah, I don't know why you did it the night you got there. Well, here's the thing. Because I didn't get to Vegas. I ended up getting to Vegas until closer to like 6.37. So already it was kind of, I pushed everything later. I didn't make a dinner reservation until 10.30. What did you do when you got there? Everything later.

What I always do. I lose a bunch of money before I even check in. That's my tradition. By the way, I can't. That's my tradition. I can't win. God damn. I just can't win in Vegas anymore.

You lost all weekend? Everything. I got all my, I got every single ticket I bet on the World Cup. I mean, you want to see these? I can tell by your energy this morning that you didn't win in Vegas at all. Messy to get one goal. Argentina to get at least one goal. First to have to have one goal.

None of those happened. Argentina to win in real time. Argentina to win in penalty kicks. Climbed to stay up 24 hours. They're all like that. So that was day two. Day one, my plan was as follows. I decided to try to mix two things I've never tried together,

which was Adderall and mushrooms. Oh, interesting. I knew about the mushroom bar, but I wasn't sure how long that would keep you up because you have to have something to kind of jolt you awake. I brought some of the mushroom bars so you could see what I was partaking of. Show and tell. This is my magic mushroom bar.

Oh. So this is the magic mushroom bar. Now, the magic mushroom bar. It's a hero bar. Oh, be your own hero. I was my own hero, guys. And so the plan was, and read the ingredients, Allie, because you can read all that's in there.

So my plan was get to Vegas. Don't even start doing, I didn't want to get there and start doing fun stuff because I knew I probably didn't have it in me to let that last all night long. So I said, I'm going to treat the first five, six hours I'm there just like a regular human being. I'm going to have a couple of drinks. I'm going to have dinner. I'm going to gamble a little bit. I'm going to relax.

And then after dinner, like hopefully I was thinking if I start at 1030. How do you gamble on mushrooms? That sounds scary. Not well. I'll tell you that right now. I would not. Like that wouldn't give me confidence. That would make me terrified.

But the thing that it did, because the mushroom, it gave me kind of more of a sustained energy. It didn't make me tired. It made me like, all of the colors of the casino, it's nothing but colors, are 10 times brighter. Cool. 20 times brighter. Did it make the time go by really fast? Slow. Very slow.

Oh, damn. So painfully slow. To the point where at one point I walked outside and it was hot. At 2, 3 in the morning, I want to say it was still 100 degrees in Vegas. And you were with your wife? Only for part of the night. She did not. So her and I had very different plans for this trip.

She was excited to do a relaxing trip to Vegas where she could do some shopping and go to a spa and maybe sit by the pool. And I said to her, zero of the things on your plan list are on my plan list. I need to stay up all night one night. And she said, I'm not doing that with you. I said, that's fine. I'll take you back to the room and then I'll go back out again. She was not a fan of that, by the way. But she knew how messed up I was because of the mushroom bar that she was like.

So she didn't have any of this? She didn't want to have any mushroom bar. God, why would you want to be with somebody on mushrooms tripping on... She didn't want to be with me. Oh, okay. That was why it made it easier for us to part ways. I was going to say, you either have to do it, too, or you have to just, like... But when I...

She hung out. I'll give her credit. On Friday night, I want to say she didn't end up going back to the room until close to two-something in the morning. And does she gamble? She doesn't... Yeah, she likes to gamble, too. Oh, she does?

She likes to gamble, too. Oh, okay. That's good. So you guys are at the blackjack table together. We're at the Texas Hold'em table game. We're playing that together. I'm over at roulette for a little bit. I'm playing over that.

Love watching the spinny wheel of mushrooms. I can watch that wheel spin for hours. Fascinating. Did you forget whether you won or lost most of the time? Well, at one point, I started taking the guy's chips next to me and placing bets with them. And he said, I think you're putting bets now with my chips. And I said, well, I said, those look delicious. And I said, well, they're the same color.

And he looked at me and he goes, no, they're not at all. And he had purple chips next to him. Oh, this was for roulette. And I had yellow chips next to me. Yeah, everyone has different. They couldn't have been any more different in color. And I was like, well. And I said, sorry.

Well, they're pretty. I'm really messed up right now. So then at one point, I take her back to the room. I go back down to the elevator. And now I'm walking around. And I do about two or three laps around the casino. And I'm feeling really good because the mushrooms are kicking in. And I'm awake.

And I know I only have about, in my head, I only have three hours to kill. By the way, you took two or three laps. It was probably like 30 laps. I was walking around for a while. I feel like you can get lost. I walked outside and they had a waterfall situation going on outside the hotel. And I sat there and I stared at this waterfall. Cool.

What felt like, I thought it was hours. I was staring at the waterfall because I was out there and it felt so good. The warmness felt so good. And I was energized, but I was calm. And I gave myself some weird-ass pep talk about life. I don't remember what it was. Oh, yikes. But I was like, and then I went back in and I was like, all right, now I'm ready to call it.

I would really love to know what you told yourself. Dude, I remember thinking some stupid thought about how, like, the waterfall is cascading down, like, every challenge that I've ever had to face. It was, like, the weird—I went in there feeling so motivated and thinking to myself, now I can go upstairs and go to bed. And I walked back in, and I went out there at, like, 3.15 a.m. I come back inside. It's just 3.17 a.m. I thought I gave myself an hour-long pep talk. I was out there for two minutes, apparently, when this thing happened.

So then I realized now I have no more money on me. I've lost all my money gambling. Oh, already? And it's Friday night? It's Friday night. I have no money on me, and I left my ATM card intentionally but also annoyingly up in the room because I don't like to have access to my ATM card because I have a bit of a gambling problem. So now I have to make a decision.

Do I go upstairs, and do I potentially wake up my wife while I'm still up? She would have not let me. If I had come back in and woken her up and then said, I have to go back out because I can't go to sleep, that wouldn't have, like she would have been, it would have been a problem. Okay. So I said, I should just not go into my room. But I also had, when you have no money and you're walking around Vegas.

Oh my God. Yeah. What do you do? No money. You just have to walk up and down the strip, I guess. So I did leave and I started, but the strip is a very. Or you could get a second dinner and eat. I wasn't, it's weird.

I wasn't hungry again, but I also had that weird feeling where the strip, you can be feeling great, but also something can spook you really easily there, especially at that time. It can get real weird real quick because that's just how the strip is now. So I walked out and then I was like, I can't leave. I got really scared. So I went back in.

And I sat at a slot machine and luckily there was a lot of groups of horny moms in town for the Backstreet Boys concert. Oh, the Backstreets were back? Yeah, the Backstreets were back. So there was all these groups of moms that were just like, you could just tell, just like mom mom it's our time mom weekend mom weekend and i ended up having like a couple of

really like weird fun conversations with them and i told them i was like i'm on a lot of mushrooms right now and they're like we're thinking about trying those what do you think and i said oh i'm on a hero bar they said where do you get it and i even though i brought it from la i was like i think it's somewhere on the strip go find it and uh next thing i knew i hadn't gambled didn't lose any money they did bring me some drinks i kept drinking and i walked upstairs at like the sun was starting to come up at like 5 45 or you know in the elevator so you just talked to moms for like talk to moms for a little bit um the other mom friends were probably so annoyed i just went to talking to she's talking to this weird guy on mushrooms i was able to buy stuff at the gift shop

because i was able to charge stuff to my room that was the only thing that was my currency and uh and then i went back and then when i and then in the morning my wife said what time did you get home last night and i was like oh right after you i didn't tell her i was up all night uh but you told her you had to do an all-nighter i told her i'd do an all-nighter and she said you She said you couldn't do it. You didn't have it in you. But the next night, this is where things got good because you guys, you know, I was all annoyed about this resort fee thing that they said, oh, you know, you have to pay an additional $55 a day. But don't worry, it comes with a bunch of crap you're never going to use, which is gym, business center, digital downloads of magazines and newspapers, and unlimited landline calling to Alaska and Hawaii.

I said, I'm not going to let them get away with this resort fee crap. So I called, I made a bunch of calls the next day. Was this when you were sad? This was Saturday when I woke up. And I was up, you know, before 11. I didn't really sleep much. And it was easy for you to go to sleep? By that point, I just kind of laid in bed and passed out.

And are we all just cool with word of mouth here? I have video of different times of the day with clocks. With clocks I shot in the casino, too, for you assholes. I knew that's how you would say it. I'm just saying. Well, you said on the way out, I'm going to document everything. And I was like, okay. And then I saw, like, one post of an airplane and a cocktail.

I thought you wanted me to share it on the air. I didn't think you wanted me to document it live. You said you were going to document it. I was like, okay, I was waiting. It's all documented here. So here, this is me calling, taking advantage of my resort fee. Hello? Hi, aloha.

Aloha. Aloha. I'm calling from Las Vegas. How are you? Doing good, thanks. This hotel I'm at has unlimited landline calling to Hawaii as part of my resort fee. So I'm trying to take advantage of that fee. Oh, wonderful.

So I'm just calling Hawaii and also Alaska as well. awesome because the only other things included in the hotel room resort fee included digital downloads of like usa today and i'm not going to do that so i'm trying to get my money's worth i hear you yeah so figured this will probably unfortunately i can hear you make it worth my while so i just wanted to call and give you a very pleasant mahalo and aloha from las vegas hey right on thank you so much and uh what's going on there in hawaii right now i realized that they didn't really want to have chit chat with me and they didn't really care but they're all so nice they were friendly yeah we're working nice nice do you

guys like mainlanders or not really you can be honest of course oh good everybody we don't discriminate all right because i am a mainlander but i have been to hawaii and i'm a big fan of banana bread oh yeah we have the best banana bread see this nice conversation i'm having i'm charging this to the hotel those mfers think they're going to hit me with a with a with a resort fee i would love if you misread this and it was not included and you have a huge bill well i made a lot of i made a lot of calls this one was how many times have you misread fine print or not read it at all the time all the time so how sure are we that this is included uh it said in bold letters this is part of your resort fee that you have to pay yeah well when you look into

it because i did for a while and they told me crisco is the key uh but thank you for taking the call and i'll probably call back a few more times until i check out of this hotel all right you enjoy your day now i remembered ali while i was calling hawaii that you were upset about your recent luau experience there so i did call another hawaiian luau to complain about your complaint about the luau not having what you wanted at it which was more uh hot girls dancing with fire there were no coconut bras right so i did they were all very close so i this is me calling now another uh hawaiian luau how can i help you hi have i reached hawaii yes you did aloha this is the queen's waikiki now they transferred me to a digital assistant right

out of the gate this idiot needs a bot are you real or ai hello ai assistant oh ah i was looking for a human person i understand you'd like to speak with a human team member well i'm the virtual assistant i can certainly take a message for you take a message we'll be happy to follow up with you to get started may i have your first and last name this sounds so authentically hawaiian thank you i appreciate that i'm here to help with any questions you have about our luau was there something specific you were looking for assistance with today yeah uh on the pictures on the side show a lot of fire dancing and stuff a lot of spinning fire but the reality i feel like when we get there it's just a bunch of kind of people in big dresses blowing into horns and

shells uh would you agree there's not enough fire our show features a variety of polynesian performances including the traditional fire knife dance which is a highlight of the evening it's a full experience that celebrates many aspects of polynesian culture not just one element would you like me to help you with anything else today now the reality is i'm just calling you from my hotel room in las vegas because i have unlimited calling to hawaii as part of my resort fee that's great that you have that perk is there anything i can help you with regarding our luau today i'm gonna ask this on behalf of my lesbian friend ally who went to a luau recently and said there weren't enough coconut bras do you guys have coconut bras i don't have information about

the specific costume details for our performers our show focuses on authentic polynesian performances Is there anything else I can help you with today? No, that'll do it. Thank you. So anyway, it didn't go great. Anyway, most of the rest of my trip to Vegas before the game started and I went down to the sports book and lost the rest of my money was calling Alaska and Hawaii. That was it. Here's me calling Alaska.

Family City Diner. Hi, is this Alaska? This is. Wonderful. I'm in Las Vegas right now calling from my hotel room. Apparently, part of my resort fee is unlimited calling to Alaska and Hawaii. And I don't really know anyone there, but I wanted to take advantage since the resort fee is not cheap. So I just wanted to say hi.

Hello. And they were very pleasant in Alaska as well. She sounds like a bot, too. Yeah, she was real, though. And she said, you know, I mean, she goes on and on. Sounds kind of flirty. Ali, I'm telling you, I think I had a chance with this girl. Really?

If I had my girl in Anchorage, Alaska. And, you know, they're banging me out for $55 a day to use a fax machine, which I'm never going to use. So I decided I might as well call anyone that will answer in Hawaii or Alaska. I got you. You got to talk to somebody in Alaska. Wonderful. Where are you? Anchorage.

Nice. Are you at that time of the year where there's no sun forever? No, no. So that doesn't actually happen. It's like six weeks up on the very, very north slope where they don't get any sun for six weeks. But otherwise, in the wintertime for us, it's just like your regular, you know, getting dark at 5 or 6 p.m. What? I know.

How boring is that? Everything we thought we knew was a lie about Alaska. Alaska has lies. That's what I thought. That's like all I know about Alaska. I was like, that's literally what everyone thinks. And then she goes on to say this. It's one place at the tippy top?

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, they also believe that we live in igloos and ride polar bears. You do? That's what I said. Well, that part's true, right? Of course. Yes. Okay.

All right, well, thank you for taking the call. And where did I call? Sammy City Diner, yes. What is your specialty there for anyone who may be visiting? Chicken fried steak. Man, that sounds great. We make it here in-house. And that's made with polar bear?

If you want to tell people that, I won't deny it. Okay. So that's one of my many calls to Alaska as well. But have chicken fried polar bear. I do have a copy of my folio for you to look at so you can see just how many calls were made. That's my way of really sticking it to the resort fee, really sticking it to them. When I did ask where the business center was, I had six different people that told me they had no idea. I don't think even the people that built it probably know where it is.

There's some other guy on mushrooms who's stuck in there. I may dispute that. We've got to take a quick break. Doesn't that sound like a funner summer was had? Sounds like you were miserable. That's funner summer. I want to see Billy Joe tonight a little closer to home. They've got his side project, the Cover-Ups.

As you know, it's his cover band. They're playing a show at the Roxy. Apparently already a line of people outside waiting to get into that one right there. So actually, I would say Green Day is the side project. The real bread and butter comes from the Cover-Ups. Billy Joe Armstrong. And that is happening today, later today. If only they just covered their Green Day songs.

It would be just doing covers of different Green Day songs. Probably do it good. I've seen that guy's popped into karaoke bars before, seen people sing Green Day and hopped on stage. He always does a good version of his own songs. So the cover-ups, that's happening tonight. I'm sure you probably, if you're not already in line in that crowd of people, good luck getting in. It's a hard ticket to get. An easier ticket to get would be the one from us.

We have them for you starting next hour to the just-announced festival happening in Santa Monica where you'll see the Killers and Sublime and Jack White and more, and you'll have chances to win your way into that next hour on the show. It's Monday morning. We're still recovering from the weekend. It has hit me that even though some people are now accusing, after hearing my story, that I did not pull an all-nighter because 408 says an all-nighter is something that means you didn't sleep at all. You must have stayed up and then not gone to sleep. Even at 6 a.m., I thought I could stay up 24 hours.

He said you have to stay up and go to the next day. I think you're good. I guess we'll have to do it again. If you sleep a couple hours, that's fine. Guys, I'm so drained right now. Yeah, I don't think you did it right. I definitely didn't do it right. I don't know if you really did it.

I did it. If you did it the way you said you did it, it counts. I did it, but I didn't do it right. That's for sure. And some people are still recovering from Friday's show. Today, listening, because I was not at work, I was just listening to the dude with the arm. I almost sharted myself.

I mean, it was laughing so hard. Then I got back, and I was able to watch it. It's incredible. You guys are amazing. Oh, my God. All right, take care. He's talking about one-armed Gary revealing his new arm that he got. If you want to see that, there's a clip up right now on our Instagram,

a Klein Alley show of what the arm looks like. We can't possibly do justice just by talking about it. You must see it with your own eyes. It is, as Omar said, it's the world's finest technology from the 1940s. And you have to see it to believe it. It was not something we put together in the, quote, prop department here at KROQ because we don't have that. But, man, it's worth checking out, and I'm glad it brought so much people so much joy. Right now, let's get into your news.

Then a brand-new hour of the show will begin. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. The World Cup may be over, but the disciplinary action is just now beginning. FIFA has announced that they are opening some disciplinary proceedings following some of the fighting that was happening on the field just after Spain won the World Cup. If you saw, there were several people on the Argentina side that were fighting with some of the people on the Spain side. You know, in those little like pink shirts, you know, those little like over things that some of them wear. I don't really know if they're like on the team or if they're just like cheerleaders, but they're like dressed in outfits.

But then they have these little like vests on. Yeah, Vanessa could explain that. Vanessa, who's she talking about? So the Argentina people were fighting with the people in the little vests. Yeah. And now there might be some. They're like the ball boys or something. I think so, yeah.

But they celebrate like they're players. There are other players. They're just not in. So that's how you. So they were like the I'm not in vests? Yeah. Okay. Well, they were all fighting.

It got physical. Now there might be some disciplinary action. There might be some, quote, sanctions. So we'll find out. But on the layman's side, the feds are also announcing they have seized 1,000 different Internet domains that were illegally streaming the World Cup. So not just the final, but all of the World Cup matches throughout the whole process from the beginning. They were watching without authorization 1,000 different websites. So they are saying they're going to find those people and track them down, which is going to be interesting.

But overall, it was something that brought us together, and nobody brings us together like Tom Cruise. And this was just another highlight from the World Cup where Tom Cruise talked for two and a half minutes about how the World Cup has made the world better. Football is a language spoken without words, a force that unites people, that turns strangers into friends,

and reminds us of what we all have in common. The ability to drink and spend money. Today, only two teams remain. España. Y Argentina. He is an American man. He really over-pronunciated that. Yeah, he really did.

But it got people excited. But these stories. Now, these stories belong to each and every one of us. Let us celebrate each other. This is football. This is unity. And this, this is greatness. I felt like a Cirque du Soleil show was about to start.

It was so epic. Do you think that was a better pep talk than this pep talk we got on the go, Lund? Good afternoon, Clinton and Ellie. You guys aren't stupid. You're the greatest show on radio. So, anywho, I'm the FIFA guy for Spain. I don't want to smush them. I just wish the best that they win over Argentina, not England.

Anyways, let's go. They win. Let's go, España. Vanessa, España. Let's go. Similar excitement right there. I think it was, yeah, comparable. All right, Jennifer Finch of the band L7 unfortunately passed away this weekend.

And if you're familiar at all with L7, they were a very influential rock grunge band in the 90s, an L.A. band, a girl band. Jennifer Finch was the bassist. She was very loved in the community. She was one of Dave Grohl's exes as well. And she was so loved that when the band announced she had an aggressive form of brain cancer, people started donating like crazy to her GoFundMe. They'd raised over $400,000. But then less than a week after they announced the diagnosis and put up the GoFundMe, she passed away. This was right as the band was about to start on their farewell tour.

That was going to start later this year. Of course, I think they're making adjustments now. But Tom Morello, Garbage, Violet Grohl, Courtney Love, a lot of people are pouring their hearts out to the great Jennifer Finch today because she was only 59 years old. And she had already beat cancer like 15 years ago. So she's a pretty incredible woman from what I was reading about. And then here's this for Laziness Klein. What if you could get dressed without having to physically do anything? Here's an idea.

Automatic clothing that does the dressing for you. An idea that came to a Stanford researcher while riding a bike in the rain and thinking, gee, I wish my rain jacket could crawl itself onto me. There's a fine line between crazy and genius. Genius, this guy's genius. And just plain stupidity. I thought about that when I was laying in bed, too. Even sometimes I like to sleep naked.

And the idea that I have to get up and put on pants or underwear if I feel like leaving. What if it just crawled up onto you? It could just crawl up onto me? Yeah, that was the idea. Though strange, the innovation could help people with unique jobs or needs. Like what? Well, I was about to buy that thing on the infomercial to put your socks on for you, but apparently it's only meant for old people or people that have muscular problems.

Old people, I can see. That's probably it, though. Yeah, but if you're able-bodied, you can have that thing to put your socks on for you. Remember that thing? You step into it. Is it that hard to put your socks on? I mean, how lazy are we? We can't even dress ourselves anymore?

because I think you preset the socks and you step into it like a mousetrap and it like shoots them on your foot. No word yet on what the cue is for Pants On, Pants Off. I suggest a clapper. There we go. He's got jokes.

All right, well, there you have it. That's news doing what news does. This is a good hour to be listening to K-Rock for a few reasons, but primarily because this is the hour we get you into a brand new festival that was just announced in Santa Monica. So in your future,

as we give you a funner summer and celebrate Jason, and the great stretch of months that are July through November. We get you to Santa Monica September 26th. The Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more. Those tickets coming up for you this hour right here on KROQ. Good morning. This is the world famous KROQ.

Hell yeah. Welcome to your KROQ's Clan Alley Show. Recovery Monday, Summer Monday. We'll make it worth your while this hour. We get you into a festival. I know a lot of people are calling right now. But don't waste your time. We will have those tickets for you coming up a little bit later this hour

with a topic called Pregnancy by Proxy. Things that you are doing or not doing because maybe you have a pregnant person in your life that is asking you to adjust your cigarette intake or your turkey intake. Are you pregnant in solidarity? Did you do any of that stuff when your wife was pregnant? The problem I did when my wife was pregnant

is that she would never know what she was in the mood for. So she would order like four or five different things and then it would show up and she would be not, all of it would make her nauseous. And I would go, like, well, I guess I'm eating all of this. Oh, so you got fat by proxy. Oh, yeah. I mean, as I said, I put on a ton of weight.

And it was basically because of food that we would get. And then she would be literally sitting in a restaurant. She would say, that looks good. We'd order it. And by the time it arrived, she's like, I think I'm going to throw up. And I was like, I guess I'll eat that, too. Oh, yeah, I'll put it on a breakfast, cook the breakfast, bring it here. And by the time it's time to eat it, I find it disgusting.

So that's part of the stuff I did. And then, yeah, there was other things. Did you drink? You drank and she didn't? I drank, yeah, I drank. I drank for two. So this time, Katie is not drinking. Wow.

And your wife's got a problem. Right? Well, she loves drinking. Yeah, I mean, I've seen her get after it before, and I've seen her get, I remember that time she knocked over that candle, and she said, bartender, whiskey. Yeah, yeah. She usually collects everyone's drink tickets throughout the night, and then she uses them all for herself.

But there was another friend of mine who's also pregnant, just as far along as I am, and the guy is also not doing sushi. And I was like, that sucks. Like, how far do you have to go to be in solidarity? Right. And then on the flip side, you know, maybe you've got to convince the pregnant person, come on, a little glass of wine is not going to hurt. A puff of weed is not going to hurt anyone.

Yeah, did you break the rules? Right. So we'll get into that coming up later this hour, and that can score you these tickets to go to Hangout in Santa Monica at this new music festival. We'll have those tickets for you this hour and next hour. Allie, if you remember on Friday we played a message, and you called this person a pervert. Hey, Klein, when Ellie's masturbating down the freeway, it's not the 101. It's the 101.

Oh, oh, oh. Ellie, you're looking hot anyways. Love the show. Bye. Remember, we played that message and you called that guy a pervert. Do you remember that? Did I say specifically pervert? Yes, you called him a pervert.

Well, he was not happy that you called him a pervert. Got it. And he just called back to say this to you. Hi, Klein, Ellie. This is Corona Kenny. And Friday, you played a clip of mine about Ellie driving down the freeway on the 101. You're called a pervy. How can you call that pervy?

She's the one masturbating on the 101. I'm the pervy one. Yeah, so why is he the pervert if you're the one who's self-pleasuring while driving on the 101? I'm sorry, Corona Kenny. I must have been wrong about you being a pervert. How do we not know that we had a Corona Kenny listening to this show? Nickname he gave himself or given to him by others? If you'd like to go ahead and give your public apology to Corona Kenny, you have 12 seconds to do it.

I want to double down. Okay. Come at me, perv. All right. You hear them? You hear that, Corona Kenny? I'm fighting words from the freeway masturbators. Dating is tough, and if you are on the apps, you're probably off the apps because you say there's nothing good here anymore,

and you're going to go old-fashioned, try to find someone in real life, but everyone's weird and smells funny, so then you go, I don't know. I feel like I'm just going to be single forever. It's a real feeling, and a lot of people have it, and I feel like dating now is probably more difficult than ever before. Definitely more frustrating. Very frustrating. It seems like there's so many options to meet people, but everyone you're meeting feels like it's just a bunch of collections or rejects. I think that everyone just tries to move away and find a place that's not full of just a bunch of gross hookups.

Right. And then it's like, oh, I'll get off of Tinder and I'll go to LinkedIn. Okay, now that's for gross hookups. Now I'm going to go back to Facebook. Okay, that's not for gross hookups. All right, now I'm going to join a running group. Now that's gross hookups. Gross hookups.

And then you just kind of keep bouncing around. A bunch of people show up at these running clubs now. They're not even dressed for running. I just want to meet people quickly. Gay clubs. Oh, great. Oh, no. Bunch of gross weirdos.

But Jake is trying something unorthodox. He's letting his dating profile completely go into the hands of Allie and Vanessa and then also Postmaster Johnny. And I believe they've got him on two different apps now. Yeah, because we decided to throw his dating profile out the window. It had a lot of red flags in it. And I get it was honest, brutally honest. But you want to pump yourself up a little bit.

It's like a resume for you. You know, you want to lead with the hits. Yeah, but you don't want to also set the expectation so high that you're instantly going to be a disappointment when you first meet. Yeah, but you want people to get your foot in the door first, right? So Vanessa and I came up with a dating profile. We feel good about it. And Johnny came up with his dating profile for Jake, which is very short and to the point. So he put both on different platforms.

And Jake claims he has an update, an exciting update, which, by the way, if you keep track, when he was doing his own dating profile, dating app, he had no updates. There were zero updates. He went on one terrible date. One terrible date that was his fault. So you put these up on Friday, which is probably a very popular day of the week, I would imagine, for people to freshen up their dating profiles. And what is the update, Jake? Well, despite your best efforts to sabotage me, because Allie's picture was like,

AI, make me fat, or AI, make me shiny and gross. Bumble is where I put Allie and Vanessa's profile. Okay. And I paid for the premium subscription for a week, which was $33. But it got me 62 likes and eight matches. What? Is that good? I think it's pretty good.

Right. Did they hear your voice when they did this or no? No, no, no. Yeah, you sound like you got something. I'm getting better. Okay. I don't know, dude. You're sounding like you're morphing into Moist Joyce.

That might be true. That cricket's really destroying you. So you got eight matches? 62 likes and eight matches, yeah. And from those matches, now what happens from that? Now it's just conversation and maybe a meetup. Yikes. Back to nothing.

But you got the matches, and that's better than you were. So were you on Bumble before? That's where I met my ex, yeah. And you don't think that when you pay money for that, they give you a few freebie likes just to make it feel like you're getting your money's worth because they knew you signed up for the weekly plan? I don't know. I don't care. It made me feel good. Yeah.

And have you had any actual back and forth with any of the matches yet? Yeah, a bunch. And any plans moving forward? There is a plan, a tentative plan to maybe watch a Dodger game today with the lady. But we'll see. Perfect. See, you start with something that's easy for people to grasp, like a baseball game. Not like a weird rock show.

Is the deal she has to go to your bar, though? Yeah, probably, yeah. Wait, are you taking her to the stadium or are you going to a bar? No, you just said he's going to take her to his bar. No, they're out of town and playing Philly. Come on, man. So it's going to be come to my bar that's convenient for me. You know, that's going to be such a red flag

because you're going to have Moist Joyce walking up to you like, Hey, Jake, what's up? And then, hey, bar buddy Bob, what's up? And then just all of your weird bar friends are going to be... That makes me comfortable. No, because then she's going to immediately go, this is a weird bar fly who spends all of his time at this bar, and he doesn't have a life outside of it.

Jake, would you like to have each of us come up to you, Not as co-workers, but as like, hey, that's the guy who saved my life. High five. That would be amazing. Or I can walk up and be like, you gave me the best pleasure of my life, and then you left. I'm still trembling from that orgasm you gave me years ago. Thank you, Jake. Yes, client, please say that.

That'd be great. Just please go to one bar over. Just go to a more neutral place. I'm open to it. We'll find out. Okay. So that's the only thing that's coming from it is just a possible date today? Are you sure you don't want him to get approached by this guy?

Greetings, Goat Lime. This is Bar Buddy Bob. I just want to tell everybody out there how important the climb in Alley Deodorant is. Okay, great. You don't want that guy approaching Jake when he's on his first date? You don't want that conversation right next to a new person? That could hurt. I don't think so.

How many likes did you get from Johnny's profile? You won't believe this. Johnny's Tinder profile, and I paid again for a week premium. That was $18.99. I only got two likes and one was a guy that sounds like Johnny's done his magic actually the most promising I got

was kind of a hook up from our Instagram post from a lady who said yes I'm very single and you would absolutely love me I collect dead animals catch reptiles and have a ton of DMT and I'm a great

effing time and so I'm going to message her again and see if we can't connect. Sounds like you already did all the DMT. That's not what happened. All right. I'm hearing your throat.

Yeah, we hear it, dude. All right, well, congratulations. Oh, she catches lizards. That's right up your alley. Hey, listen, congrats to everyone who took advantage and those are more likes

than you've ever received on yourself, your own profile. So our experiment here with Allie and Vanessa and Johnny all proved to be positive for you.

Well, the Tinder one wasn't so great. That sounds like your wife, man. She collects dead animals. That was from Instagram. That was from Instagram. Oh, yeah. Yeah, even better, man.

Johnny, you've got to listen to the show a little more. We've got to take a break. We'll be right back. When we return, your chance to share with us your stories. Pregnant, what is something that you gave up? You were not pregnant, but the someone in your life was, and as a result, you were forced to give things up. Pregnant in solidarity.

Pregnant in solidarity. There's a big conversation in my house right now on what should be given up. We'll make it worth your while by getting you into a festival in September in Santa Monica with the Killers and Jack White and Sublime and many others, and that will be all worth it. So maybe you gave up some sushi,

but you're going to go to a great show. Give us your call. We'll get you on the air next. 800-520-1067. That is next. Hey, Rockline Alley Show. If you're pregnant, there's a lot of cool stuff that happens, I guess.

You get to grow a life inside of you, and you get to hold that over your significant other's face for the rest of their entire lives. You don't even know what it's like. And then we say things like, it was only nine months, and then you go, it's 10 months! 10 months!

40 weeks! You got to stick nine. a man doctor said that and my body's never been the same never been the same but uh as you know if you are with someone who's pregnant it's also a sacrifice as well because maybe you have to be pregnant by proxy you've got to make some sacrifices or you have to figure out ways to sneak sushi behind their back yeah and this just brought up the conversation of what do you do in solidarity if anything because the first time i don't think katie really cared there was not really any kind of change in her diet her drinking habits nothing really this time around she's uh

cleaned up her act a little bit and even yesterday when we were all deciding what to get for lunch there was jersey mike's was on the table technically they discourage you eating deli meat and i was like man i'm the one like but i'm not going to expect anybody to change just for me and decide hey we're going to go with something else just because i'm not eating the deli meat i will figure it out you guys enjoy yourselves well let me ask you some things can you do slip and slides or no? Is that out? Not with like a water park when we went to Wild Rivers. I didn't go on any of the rides.

You couldn't do the rides. I think when you're like slipping and sliding around, it's not good. Like a conjoined trampoline. Probably no good. Probably no good. What about Omar's favorite activity of zip lining? I don't think I would zip line. No. You don't think you could zip line? I think you could zip. I guess I'd have to ask my doctor. You're just in a harness and then you zip down.

We're going to give you a list of things to ask your doctor later and they will include zip lining. I actually do have a phone appointment today, so give me your list of questions. Yeah, I mean, I think zipping sounds probably fine, I would think, of all of them. I know that they always go extra, you know, let's err on the side of caution, that if the zip line goes a little too fast and you go, you know, belly first into a tree, that's not a good thing. Yeah, I think it's just a riskier thing. But I think if you're plummeting down at a very fast pace,

like they say, just don't go on roller coasters, and that's kind of the same effect, right? Can't you do roller coasters that don't have loopy loops? Couldn't you just do, like, a... I could do Soarin'. I could do Goofy's Sky School. I bet you probably can't, though. I mean, I don't know, because they do have the... I've seen those signs when you get on those rides that say, you know, most of us avoid them or ignore them.

Right. Because they talk about, but if you're pregnant, you probably should not do this. But if we go to Disneyland, am I expecting Katie to not ride Space Mountain because I can't ride Space Mountain? How far are you expecting your partner to go? All right, let's go. Let's figure this out. We have tickets to give away. So maybe you gave up something for someone else's pregnancy.

As a result, maybe we give you something, and that would be tickets to go to a brand-new festival just announced in Santa Monica with the Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more. Of course, it's called the Ocean Way Festival. What's up, James? Oh, man. What's up, guys? Sweet divots. Sweet divots. What'd you give up?

I had to give up dairy. Among a lot of other things, like deli meal is hard, alcohol is hard, sushi is hard, but, man, dairy rules the world around us. Wait, why did you have to give up dairy? Well, there was just, like, she loves cheese and all of that, and, like, it just gave her so much pain when she was pregnant. And then thereafter, it was so... And, like, I, you know, had to finish maybe some string cheeses here and there, but, like, man, it was so bad for her.

I know the soft cheese. they're a big uh big fan of no soft cheeses they love the whole no brie no yeah because of they but that's a whole pasteurization thing it's like yeah but i think all cheese in america is pasteurized i don't know how much it really matters but the fact that you did were you asked to do like did your wife ask you to do those things or you volunteered to give up all those things she she didn't ask but i but i i volunteered just because like she she loved it so much and and i kind of like i'm the the cook of our household so like if if like i was making pizza or something like they just came out with that like diet cheese and it was just

well and then when we were in hawaii that we went to a sushi truck and i had to get like a cooked shrimp thing right katie got like this incredible you know raw fish roll and she's not only eating it in front of me but saying i think this is the best sushi i've ever had Omar, get your finger ready on the sound effects. Nicole, good morning on KROQ. Hi. Hi, good morning. You gave up something when you were pregnant?

No, my sister is currently pregnant. I live with her, so I have to give up eggs because she can't stand the smell. Oh. Eggs. You have to give up eating any eggs, which is the cornerstone of all breakfast. She can't smell the smell of it, and so that's it. Now eggs are out for you. Basically, and I tried to compromise with her.

I said, fine, I'll buy the hard-boiled ones, the pre-cooked ones, that kind of taste like rubber, because at least I won't be cooking them. And she said, no, they make the fridge smell like eggs. No, she's not lying. They make the fridge smell like eggs. Yeah, yeah. She has a very sensitive nose. Yes.

Well, eggs are a polarizing one, I have to say. It's like one day I'm like, yes, and then the next day I'm like, That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted or smelled. But this is interesting compared to the first guy. The first guy said the cheese physically gave her pain, so she couldn't eat it while pregnant, so he gave it up. This is just an aversion to the smell. This is just a smell thing.

She could actually eat it. Nothing wrong with eating eggs. Eat all the eggs you want as long as they're not, quote, under-runny or whatever they say. You want to make sure they're cooked. But she doesn't like the smell, so the smell is making her so nauseous that now the sister who lives with her has to give up eggs by proxy because she's in the relationship.

That's a major food to eliminate from your diet. And a major sound effect. that we can't play. I mean, imagine, I wonder if your sister has a problem with that sound. And probably the most versatile food, period. Denise, this is, whoa, hold on. Hey, good morning, you're on KROQ.

We're talking about the things you gave up because someone else in your life was pregnant and will make it worth your while by giving you tickets to a festival. What's up, Denise? Hi, yeah. I had to give up coffee for my mother, which was very ironic

because she was kind of the one that introduced it to me. And then she got pregnant, and, you know, I tried to still make my own cup and whatever, but the scent, like, the smell, she was like, you know, this is not fair. I had to start getting my coffees on my own, but then, like, secretly brush my teeth, and, like, so she doesn't get a whiff of it on me. Are you doing coffee? I learned it from watching you, Mom.

Wait, Allie, you're not allowed to have coffee when pregnant? You usually limit your caffeine intake, but I know a lot of women that still have some coffee. But a lot of women don't want to drink it because of nausea, because they're disgusted by it. So this woman who lives, her mom doesn't like the smell of coffee, so she can't have her coffee. Of all the things we've brought up so far, that's... That's the most essential. How do you give up? I mean, it's a daily drug.

It's your regular daily drug every single morning. How can you give that up? And not even for a significant other, for your mom. There's something so crazy about the idea, too, that if you're a pregnant woman and you're more tired anyway because you're growing a life inside of you... You're not having the coffee. That they also say that you can't have things that would make you more awake, like meth or coffee. It's just crazy. It's just, yeah, it's sadistic.

Jason on KROQ, you gave it up to accommodate a pregnant person. What's up? Yeah, we were in Honduras on vacation. We specifically went to Honduras to go scuba diving. And the thought, concept of being on a boat made my wife nauseous. So we literally didn't dive the entire five days we were in Honduras. She gave up the entire vacation to sit in the hotel room because the boat made her feel nauseous thinking about it. So bring your own stuff with you, too?

Like you packed a wetsuit for the trip and everything? Second skin, no wetsuit, full BC, full computer fins, mask, snorkel, weight belt. Just all sat in the hotel room. Wow. You even got like an oxygen tank in the carry-on. Whole trip planned just sitting in the hotel room. Just staring at your flippers. Where are my flippers?

Down in the lobby, I guess. That does suck. That sucks, too. Because that's not even affecting your daily life. That's your whole vacation, and that's the whole reason you went to that location. And she was probably excited about doing it until she found out she was pregnant, and then it just happened to hit. And by the way, one week later, she could have said, I got no problem with the boat concept. Oh, yeah, then she's after the 13 weeks.

She's happy, ready to go diving. Hey, Chad, I'm K-Rock. Good morning. Things you gave up while someone in your life was pregnant. Allie's pregnant right now. She hasn't asked us to give up stuff. No, I wouldn't expect that. But I do ask you every day if I do bring food in the studio.

So, hey, does this smell bad for you? Yeah, and I appreciate you asking. And the answer is I don't know. I won't know until you're eating it. Hey, Chad, what's up? Chad, going once, going twice. Hello? Oh, man, under the wire.

What's up, Chad? Hey. What'd you give up, personality? You're doing great, Chad. I gave up two-word sentences. i i like i like i gave up uh candy cool that sounds really tough for you worst caller of the day let me say hi to mike hey mike good morning you're on carol hi so i don't know if ali's taken her digestional diabetes test yet but my wife tested positive with our son and so she removed

all sugary food so that meant my cereal in the morning my candy stash everything else was removed from the house so that she wouldn't eat it as well but that just made me stop off on the way home from work and like pound twinkies and donuts before i got home yeah i mean that's i like that that's that's how you fight through you just cheat on her in the car just pounding Twinkies in the car. 323 said they gave up sex for the entire pregnancy. Wait a minute. Hold on.

That may be one of these calls here. That's a tough one to give. The whole time? I feel like I thought, don't you hit a trimester where you're super horny? Yeah, there were a couple of waves of it, but right now I'm in the point where that is the last thing on my mind. It is? Oh, my God.

I feel terrible. Always the first thing on my mind. It's the last thing I think about. Nothing is, you're not horny, nothing is horny right now making you horny? Nothing is horny. If I did have sex, it would probably happen very quickly, like because there's so much nerve, you know, there's so much blood flow and stuff. But as bad as I feel, as bloated as I feel, as tired as I feel, absolutely not. No, I'm not into it anymore.

You've also rooted for me just now. So thank you for that description. You're welcome. Well, we've heard from a lot of people. There's a lot more people that like to share the things they've given up, the real heroes to accommodate the pregnant people in their lives. of all of the stories we just heard and there are so...

Oh, here's... Hold on. Here's the person that gave up sex. Hold on one second. And then... Hey, Susie? Hi.

No sex for the entire pregnancy? Well, that too. That wasn't what I texted about. Oh, that wasn't? What did you text about? I... Well, I didn't have to give up anything.

My husband didn't give up anything but he gained a bunch of weight because I was really sick the whole pregnancy and I could only eat by watching someone eat and I could only eat a little bit at a time, so he literally ate like five meals a day.

Wait, you could only eat when you were watching someone else eat? Yeah, I had hyperemesis gravidarum, which meant I threw up the whole nine months and I lost so much weight because of it. Allie's horny again. Keep going. So you had to watch someone else

eat so you could eat. How fat did you make your husband during this time? I think he gained like more than 60 pounds. And I lost. 60 pounds. Did he lose it after you had the baby or he still has that weight? It took a couple years. Is that a truck backing up or is that?

That's her husband. That's her husband. Her husband's out of the room right now. Let me check, honey. We heard a lot of stories. One of these people's got to get rewarded with tickets to this festival. Oh, it's the candy guy. It's the candy guy.

And so we'll come back with that next. Hey, Rob, finally show. All right, listen, we talked to a lot of people. There were a lot of things that were given up to accommodate pregnant people. Someone said it's ironic that you guys are giving away the tickets to the people that gave up cheese and not the pregnant women that had to carry the babies the entire time. Oh, man, you had to give up eggs? I feel so bad.

But, listen, there's been some funny stories here. We appreciate that. So you gave up something. Let's give you something. Yeah, and take your pregnant wife to the show. Yeah, or maybe you've got a kid now. Who knows? Jason, we heard a lot of stories and a lot of them

involve food, but you had to cancel, excuse me, you didn't cancel you went on this trip, but you were not able to go on the boat, so you just sat in your hotel room for a week and looked at your scuba gear to accommodate your pregnant wife who did not want to go on a boat, and we say to you, congratulations you're going to be at the first ever

festival happening in Santa Monica featuring the Killers, Jack White and Sublime it's called Ocean Way and you're as good as in, alright? Great guys, thank you very much, and I will take her with me. Okay, good. Take your scuba gear, too. You're right by the ocean. I would love it if you wore your scuba gear

and went to that show. It would make us very happy. Please, if you could, that'd be great. His goggles are all fogging up. Think about it. Constantly falling over, stupid flippers. We have more of those tickets for you coming up next hour. So if you didn't win or you don't have a story that fit with what we were looking for, don't worry. We have another pair

of tickets for you to go see all those bands at Ocean Way Festival happening on the beach at Santa Monica on September 26th. You can win those tickets all week from 9 a.m. through 6 p.m and that includes next hour with us right here on k-rock we take a super quick break we're back with some add news and then we have another hour of the show to get into and lots of tickets to give you and it's all after this hey guys sweet bibbits so i just wanted to give you guys a little shout out today i wanted to say um that soundbite that you guys added at the end of

each episode now of vanessa going thank you ladies and gentlemen that is spot on that is great please don't ever change it. Please don't remove it. It's the best. Hell yeah. Happy Friday, y'all. Hope you have a great weekend. Later. I am a fan of the addition of Vanessa thanking the ladies and gentlemen for listening to the show. Just the one gentleman. Just the one gentleman out there. We get into your news now

that a brand new hour of the show can officially begin. If you need us in any way, shape, or form, you can do a couple things. Use the text line. Use the phone lines. 800-520-1067 or you can slide in the DMs or if you want to join in on the conversation that is happening as we're streaming live on YouTube, you can

You can go find us there at KROQ's YouTube. Lots of ways to get involved or just sit back and wait for your chance to call and win. And right now, let's find out what's happening in the world together. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Well, it is the biggest live-action movie debut of the year. The Odyssey may have cost $250 million to make, but they made it all back in one weekend, at least globally. Made $124 million over the weekend domestically, but twice that across the globe.

and they say it has disproven the go woke, go broke theory that if you try to get all wokey with casting, it'll tank the movie. Experts are saying that it's not necessarily a historically accurate movie as far as the text goes and it's being purposely dumbed down for 2026 audiences but that's exactly why it's succeeding. And not only that, it has turned into a 24-hour experience. People are staying up all night to watch this movie. Many movie theaters are staying open all night, doing 1 a.m., 2 a.m., and 6 a.m. showings in IMAX and otherwise, playing it as many times as they possibly can on a loop.

And that's the schedule for the next four weeks because they think the demand is going to stay for that long. There's a couple of changes that are happening to movies as a result of this. And I even saw that there were some theaters that were contemplating pausing the movie halfway through so that everyone in the theater could take a bathroom break together. Well, if you're going to do that, you have to have a vote. If everyone wants to keep going, then they need to keep going. I hate waiting for somebody else to go to the bathroom. But imagine them adding an intermission into the middle of a movie. They're bringing back intermissions.

That's a crazy concept because people that are going, I want to see it, but I don't know, three hours drinking that giant bucket of soda, that's going to be tough. I don't know. I just feel like, yes, I mean, growing up in the theater, of course, I'm used to an intermission. However, there's always somebody that will abuse the intermission. That's on them then. Yeah, that's on them. That's terrible.

Don't do that at all. Yeah, Johnny went to it over the weekend. and he said he was able to hold his Wii. It was the greatest movie ever, and the only people leaving to use the restroom were the middle-aged old guys, which, understandably, they have bladder issues. They're like, come on, hold it.

Come on, you can do it. I was like, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. I was like, keep your ass out of here. Don't come back, bro. Once again, rock pants, not just for theaters. Sounds like a great vibe. Rock pants, baby, I'm telling you. We talk about how these rock pants are just for concerts.

You don't miss your favorite bands, but couldn't you throw on a pair of rock pants and enjoy the Odyssey in theaters? Why not just put toilets in the seats? They've got enough stuff tricked out those seats now. They like recline. They have little heaters built in. Some of them massage you.

Why don't some of them just open up into a little toilet? You didn't see it, did you? Omar, you see it? No, I did not. It's on my list. I will see it eventually. We should all go take a field trip and see it together. I just don't think I can hire a babysitter for that long.

I know. If I see a movie, I'm like, I think I need two hours tops. Yeah, pay overtime. Yeah, exactly. um heavy tv watching speaking of watching a lot of uh screens has been associated now with smaller brain structures according to a new study and it is that theory that tv will rot your brain it has actually kind of been proven true with this new study they said that the people who reported to watching tv very often later exhibited reduced volume in certain areas of the brain

mainly associated with memory what is wrong with your brain so they said that it will also increase, it'll age you faster, increase your stroke risk, and it will have faster cognitive decline, which could lead to dementia. That's not our fault. And they said it's worse with men. Shows have gotten better. I mean, not that soccer game was a bore, but

I mean, for the most part, shows have gotten better. So of course we're going to have cognitive decline. I did feel myself cognitive declining during the finals of the World Cup. Well, yeah, that was just insufferable. But it seems like now we're able to sit for longer. Like, you know, Like Johnny said, everyone's able to sit through that movie without going to the bathroom for the most part.

Everyone can sit and watch for a longer period where more people needed breaks, you know, 20, 30 years ago because people weren't used to watching so much TV. And just the concept that in general, if you're watching shows that have built-in commercial breaks, you'd get up, you'd walk around a little bit, you'd have maybe a conversation. Whereas now, you could stream a show that's got nine seasons and you could really find yourself not having to leave the couch for eight hours. Oh, you'd get bed sores. Great. There's no reason to leave the couch anymore. The ultimate compliment to a show is that I got bed sores watching this show because it means that you really were locked in.

I mean, that's a real compliment. Yeah, it's a competition, and you're winning. If you were one of these people that were feeling yourself having cognitive decline during the World Cup finals yesterday, this is probably the reason why because no one listened to this great listener of ours, Ali, that could have sped that up. Hey, what's up, guys? Sweet David's. I feel like my idea for two soccer balls in the overtime would have really spiced up this World Cup final.

And you would get a lot of soccer purists and soccer nerds saying, hey, that's not real soccer. It's like, yeah, we tried real soccer for 90 minutes, and it was 0-0. And they would still watch it, and they would love it. And you'd get new fans, you know? So, yeah, that game was kind of boring and lame. Take it easy. But we all got cognitive decline as a result of it. Also, you want to know something that happened in three minutes and 47 seconds?

The world's fastest mile happened over the weekend. This is probably one of the most productive people. I saw that guy. This British runner, Josh Kerr, he broke the world record for the mile time in London, three minutes and 42.66 seconds. And he beat the world record, which I believe was set in the 90s, 1999. And it was three minutes, 43.13 seconds. So he beat it by nearly half a second.

and now you've got to wonder where are we headed next? Like how fast can humans really go? Yeah, I looked at the clip. It didn't even look like he was sprinting, but I guess he was. Yeah, but that's what like runners sometimes when you're just watching them,

you're like, oh, okay, that doesn't look that hard. But then when you try and do it, like have you ever seen like an idiot like me run? It looks like a real struggle. Like they make it look hard because it is hard for me, but for them it looks easy.

Well, congratulations. Rough weekend to accomplish things in sports because most of the focus was obviously on Spain and Messi and whatever team he's on. But the reality is that that guy is going to have himself a world record. For a long time. You can't take that away from him.

Until the robots come and destroy that world record. We'll get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. And it will perhaps be the greatest hour of your life on a Monday morning. This is the world famous K-Rock. Summer hours. Welcome to just after 10 o'clock on a Monday

morning. We are Klein Alley Show and this is K-Rock I'm in recovery mode from Vegas, but obviously everyone who is watching World Cup recovery mode from all of the excitement that was that. And now we will never think of it or speak of it again for the next four years. I'm going to be sad. Vanessa gave us a long diatribe yesterday about how the only thing ruining football or soccer, as we call it, is Americans. And that it's a beautiful thing. I read your little, you gave us this hate.

You guys get that too or just me? It's funny that she loves the World Cup so much because I feel like it's made her so mean. Mean? Mean Vanessa? I'm acting like the boys act when they watch any type of sport. Why'd you do that, man? Once every four years, we get mean Vanessa.

She comes every four years, and she's all aggressive and mean and emotional. And anyway, grab some M&Ms out of my lady drawer, Vanessa, if you need those to calm down. Well, she also was watching while extremely hungover, so I think that affected her ability to watch. Yeah, if you're getting drunk out in public, Look, your job is to record everything you do.

You understand that. I don't like when you're out there drinking and you're not recording. That's not fair for the rest of us. This hour on the show, we'll do an AMA with a lifeguard. Lifeguards are a lot more than just sitting in that chair twirling that whistle. Looking pretty. That's part of it, yes. But these days, especially with everything that's been going on on beaches and riptides and currents,

they've been stepping up, and we're going to do an AMA with a legitimate lifeguard to ask every question we've ever wanted to know. Like, do all the lifeguards bang each other? That probably happens. Do they not do mouth-to-mouth on ugly people? Right. These are all questions for thinking, right? I'm sure they don't do mouth-to-mouth on ugly people.

It's all your dad, uggo. It's all the people who have died and being swept away. They were all just ugly. They probably do Heimlich on the uggos and do mouth-to-mouth on the ones that are hot, I would imagine. Or they get like a rookie lifeguard. Are they like hazing?

You have to drink first. Come on, you kisser. Come on. I got to get four shots down before I can do mouth-to-mouth on this uggo. Anyway, we'll find out a little bit later this hour. It'll be AMA with a lifeguard. Johnny doesn't know.

Could score you some tickets so that you can go to this festival. It's happening in Santa Monica in September. You'll be seeing The Killers and Jack White and Sublime and many others. That full lineup is listed at KROQ and on the socials. So we will get you into there as well. I just want to let you know, Ali, on the GOAT line, there's a variety of messages from things that happened last week on the show.

I guess we'll start with this. This is someone that is convinced that that dentist that I was going to go to, the one that I met with at 5 in the morning, is not an actual dentist. And I know a lot of people think that way. This person is going to try to help my snoring. But listen to this call. Hey, this message is for Klein. So my neighbor is actually a dentist.

And I asked him, what's the earliest time that you ever go into the office? And he was like, about like 8, 9 o'clock. And I'm like, have you ever gone into the office at like 3 o'clock in the morning? And he was like, no, why would I do that? I'm sleeping. So, I'm 100% convinced that your special dentist is the janitor, and he's selling you stuff that you shouldn't buy. Yeah, you need to find somebody different unless you just, like, gag balls in your mouth to help your snoring situation. But, all right.

Anyway, we did it. What a great scam that would be if you're a janitor at a dentist's office and you start seeing patients in the early hours of the morning. From 3 to 6, you've got your lab coat on. You're just swindling people. What a great idea. Guy had a coat on. As soon as I saw him in that lab coat, I said, this guy must be the dentist. Yeah, but he's MIA now, isn't he?

Yeah, but he said he was going to be doing some travel. He said he had some travel. A lot of people are concerned for my mouth. I appreciate you. You don't go to a dentist for anything related to sleep. I'm sorry. You need to get rid of that doctor. You need to report him to the medical board, and you need to find a sleep doctor that can help you through this.

Please don't go back and see that man. I'm going back. I'm committed now. Only if you've been accepted. Yeah, if he accepts me. Still in the process? He says I'll hear from him in 7 to 14 days, depending on his travel. Does any of this sound normal to you?

Yeah, this guy's the best. He's probably the best. All right, how would you like to call and play a little game with Postmaster Johnny and win your way into an amazing festival that was just announced that you will be in Santa Monica on September 26th with the Killos, Jack White, Sublime, and many others. It's called the Ocean Way Festival, and it's on the beach. Toes in the sand, bands on the big stage, and you will be there.

Great lineup for a debut inaugural festival here in Southern California. I know what you're thinking. We don't have enough festivals. We need more. We need more festivals. So Jason, as you know, is the greatest stretch of months of the year From July straight up through November And this puts you right in the middle of Jason

If you'd like to win your way into the show All you've got to do is answer one question And the only one standing between you and that potential prize Is a man by the name of Postmaster Johnny You know, I thought this would be a great punishment later in the year I believe it takes place in October and November This is not local But for the first time ever, there is a gluten-free festival

All gluten-free food so that gluten-free people can just enjoy a food festival without having to worry. What will they possibly talk about when they can't talk about how, I don't know if I can have that? Sorry, I'm gluten. Oh, you too? Oh, you too? Sorry, I can't have that. Sounds like the worst L.A. people ever. Like, terrible festival.

That's going to be, that festival is not in L.A. though? It's not in L.A., no. But it's like a big, I guess it's going to be a big go-to for the gluten-free community. And I thought it would be great to make one person on the show go, particularly you. Does it happen during Jason? It is during Jason. Add it to the list. Add it to the list.

All the good things. Johnny, you have one question, and a lot of people that want in, so hopefully they're able to predict correctly. Once again, I don't know if you're feeling smart this weekend, or you were feeling smart? I was feeling hot this weekend. It was balls hot this weekend. Yes, it was, yes. Yeah.

You went to the beach? Yeah, on Sunday, yeah. I had to escape for like at least four hours. And you went to that long-ass movie to sit in the air conditioning for three hours. The greatest movie, The Odyssey. I love that movie so much. Better than the app, the Odyssey app? Way better than the Odyssey app, yeah.

Way better Johnny is the guy That's gonna stand Between you and this prize And we say Good morning Well first let's get Into your theme song

It's time for Johnny Doesn't Know Johnny doesn't know And I was like okay Oh Johnny doesn't know I didn't know Vegas Was like in data For like a while

Johnny doesn't know Johnny doesn't know Gelato sounds like jello Johnny doesn't know It like goes Wiggles Alright One question

One question only You don't need to know The answer You just need to know Johnny will know the answer. We're about to talk to a lifeguard for an AMA, everything we've ever wanted to know from a lifeguard. And so to get you ready for that chat, which will be happening in moments, we have a question that I'm sure a lifeguard knows the answer to, but will Johnny know the answer to this question? We say hi to Colleen in Chatsworth. Good morning, Colleen.

Hi. All right, here we go. You don't need the answer. Just will Johnny know the answer. Johnny, what does CPR stand for? Will Johnny know what CPR stands for? In fact, I'm going to say before He only has to get one of the letters. What? Whoa. Really? Do you think Johnny will be able to get one of the letters in CPR? One of the letters?

Yes, he will know. Come on, Johnny. All right. She thinks she will know. All right. Johnny, let's start with the C. Let's just start with the C. CPR.

CPR. Okay, so it's been a while since I've been certified for CPR. Oh, you are certified at some point? I was certified when I was a preschool teacher. They made us do it every, like, two years. I'd be very worried for my child in your classroom. I can save him. I know how to do it on a baby and how to do it on young infants.

You don't slap him. That guy over there is certified, Johnny. He's eating Legos. Nobody slap him. They're not Legos. We have the big little Mega Bloks because kids can't play. Anyways, we're out of my address. For you.

Probably for Johnny's sake. Don't try to fit the Mega Bloks in your mouth. Johnny, CPR. All you have to do is get one of the letters. in CPR. She says you will know up for grabs. She gets to go to the beach in Santa Monica, see a bunch of bands. Johnny, CPR. You said you were trained

in this, but it's been years. Yeah, it's been like six years. Supposed to get that, I think, recertified every year, I believe. I think it lasts for a few years, but I'm not sure. I did one before I had my first kid, and it was weird. A guy showed up at my house with a bag full of little babies, and the whole thing was so strange. I was certified

in dog CPR, never human CPR. What a waste. Holly's around in an emergency. You better hope there's a doodle involved or she's useless. Yep, I know how to breathe into the snout. All right, let's go to Johnny. Let's see. She says you, I can tell you're stalling.

I'm not stalling. I'm actually thinking. I know at least one, I think, for sure. The P, I'm a little lost on. Come on, Johnny. I don't know the P, but C has got to stand for certified. Okay. P.

Wait, let me finish, bro. He's getting it right. She said you'll know, and he's got three chances to get it right, so here we go. P I think might stand for preliminary so certified, preliminary and then R is for resuscitation that's what I know

thank you Johnny that was the only one I know I don't know what the R stands for with Johnny go ahead you can say it, it's 2026 go ahead yeah that's what C stands for certified you believe

the CP is connected does that help you at all CP? Yeah. The only CP I know is Chris Paul. Right. You got it. I don't know CP.

Chris Paul resuscitation. Chris Paul resuscitation. Cardio? Cardio. Pulmonary. There you go. Cardio pulmonary resuscitation. He got the resuscitation part, though, which means congratulations, Colleen.

You're going to this festival at the beach. And if you fall down and can't breathe, Johnny will be there to slap you and feed you a Lego. So hold on. Johnny, thank you. You're welcome. Johnny got you in because he knew one of the letters in CPR. Colleen, you're going. Congrats.

More tickets coming up next hour. Sublime and the Killers and Jack White and others. We come back from this quick break with a person that knows a lot about CPR. He's a real-life lifeguard. He's perhaps saved your life. He sits there. Which beach is he from, Vanessa? Sorry, can I have one more time?

Which beach is our lifeguard calling from? Which beach does he work at? He's actually in Hawaii right now, but he is a lifeguard from California. Hawaii, yeah. Oh, that's like the Olympics for lifeguards. Should have called him from Vegas. So he's in Hawaii now, but where is his main post? Oh, man, you're going to have to ask him.

California. Okay. All right. She's not wrong. We'll ask him. That'll be the first question. It's an AMA with a lifeguard. Everything you've ever wanted to know from someone who does this professionally,

and we will come back with that after this. Hey, Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. Yes, we do a lot of talking on the show. Alley and I are not experts in anything. However, we like to find experts and ask them questions and let you ask them questions as well. Because perhaps you've been on the beach recently and you look up at that lifeguard and you go, man, I've got a lot of questions for that guy. But he's too busy trying to save lives right now.

So I can't ask stupid questions like how much urine must you put on a jellyfish sting. That's where we come in, right? So when you're just sitting there sexually twirling your whistle, just know that that's what we're wondering. We have a lot of questions. We look at you. Up there in your lifeguard tower. What goes on in that tower? Is there AC in the tower?

No way. These are all questions. We're going to get answers in a moment. We've got a guy who's been a lifeguard for a long-ass time. In fact, since he was 16 years old, he started as a lifeguard. I would imagine he's probably saved some lives in that time. He is a lifeguard in Southern California, although I do believe he's joining us on the phone from Hawaii right now.

His name is Drasco, which is another thing. I think you have to have a cool name when you're a lifeguard. Good morning, and thank you for being on KROQ. Hi. Good morning. How are you guys doing? Thanks for having me on. Good, of course.

We have a lot of questions. Some of them are from us, and others are from our listeners. and don't take offense to any of these. We just want to know more about what it is that you do. You got it. I will answer them to the best of my ability. So my first question is, which comes first, the hotness or the job? Are you hot so you're like, I should be a lifeguard,

or are you a lifeguard, therefore you become hot? That's a good question. So there's obviously some physical parameters you need to get the job first. However, the byproduct of standing out in the ocean and getting tan all the time is also a factor. So I would say both, if I'm going to answer that. Yeah, because A18 posts on the text line, how come I never see any fat lifeguards? And I guess that would be a hard job to do if you were very fat because there's a lot of running involved and swimming, right? That's debatable because there's definitely some people that have a larger body habitus

that exist that are much faster swimmers than you'd think. I mean, just look at like the Serbian water polo team who's smoking cigarettes on the pool deck. They still get first in the Olympics, you know? I would think that you could get a job if you're like a heavier lifeguard to be the sitter and the twirler with the binoculars, but then you call a different person who would do the running into the ocean. Right, you're the medicine sitter guy? I wish it worked that way.

That would actually be really nice. I heard that lifeguarding, though, the training for that is extremely long and rigorous. Is that true? How long does it take? Yeah, that's true. It depends what agency you work for. I think at a minimum, it's about eight days. And every day is obviously a lot of running in the soft sand, barefoot, swimming, you know, in the ocean.

Depending on, I guess we're talking about ocean lifeguarding here. Obviously, you've got the pool side and stuff, too. But, yeah, in the ocean, it's, yeah, nonstop. And then if you mess up or don't go fast enough, I mean, you get disqualified. We need you to be able to be, you know, quick and athletic. 323 wants to know, what is the greatest gift and or tip you've received after saving someone's life? So, yeah, that's good. People offer gifts and tips all the time.

However, legally, it's actually not allowed for us to take them. But people definitely, after you rescue someone, I've been offered, you know, $100 bill and other things, but we politely decline. However, I will say, if you offer us barbecue, pizza, any food you might be cooking while you're at the beach, that doesn't count. We will gladly take any food. So if you feed the lifeguards, that qualifies. And that, I think the best thing I had, I had an entire family with a giant, like I'm talking like, almost the size of half of a bathtub of like a wok cooking noodles and like asian style cuisine and they fed the entire beach that day wow wow yeah is it true that lifeguards get access to

better bathrooms than the grody disgusting beach bathrooms that all of us are accustomed to oh no quite the opposite so there are no bathrooms in a lifeguard tower um and you can't leave your post when you're watching the water right if you look away for just a second um someone might go under the water right drowning is silent it's not this thing that we see like in the movies so in fact um we we'd have to get someone to come give us a break to use the grody bathrooms as like a privilege so i'll let you do the imagination as to how that happens in the lifeguard tower. 714 wants to know

if you're saving hot people, do you use CPR when not necessary because they're attractive? That is a classic question. We don't discriminate against people that we save whether they're hot or not. And we don't use our medical terminology. We have a chance, Sally, to survive.

Go ahead. We don't use our medical skills unless they're indicated. You have weaponry in the lifeguard tower as well. If you saw Allie, maybe you would think that's a whale in the ocean, a harpoon or something. Do you have anything you would need to protect in addition to just your skills? Look, anything is a weapon in a lifeguard tower if someone starts attacking you on the beach. But, you know, we have the hard lifeguard cans and then the lifeguard buoys or tubes that we call them, which are soft. So they're two different styles. You see the red, um, buoys or cans.

The cans are the hard plastic ones. Oh yeah. And actually that, so those, I mean, you can put those in between you and the victim because a lot of times when people are in panic, they will try to attack you. So you do need, um, let's call it a weapon is a strong word, but let's call it a defense item. Um, the fins, I don't know if you've ever gotten slapped with one of those fins, but that also hurts as well, especially when we do our training stuff. So those can be utilized.

But I don't know if you guys just saw, there was the news story of the L.A. County lifeguards that just apprehended that guy that was on the manhunt. He jumped off the pier and they used the paddle, he was in the water, and they used the paddleboard and the cans to grab him for the police. Yeah. Oh, that's right. The rule used to be if you could escape the police and jump in the water, you were free. I mean, that's what I did in Grand Theft Auto.

Right, that's all you got to do. Got a real life. No, no, no. Yeah. These are all the things lifeguards do that people don't know about. What is the craziest rescue you've ever done, and what is the biggest mistake people make to put themselves in a dangerous situation? Oh, goodness. You'd need several more hours on your show for us to go through a bunch of them, but actually, I won't use my rescue as an example.

The craziest rescue that comes to mind right now is a buddy of mine, and this was down in San Elijo State Beach in the North County there. there was a wedding proposal on a hot air balloon which the wind took them over the ocean and they couldn't land it right because you can't land it in the water and they were floating outward you know when we get those santa ana winds that just push outward out in the ocean and so what they did was the operator lowered the hot air balloon just enough to where they could throw the line down to the lifeguard on the paddleboard to paddle them back in to land it so they wouldn't have to crash land in the water man so there's just a lifeguard paddleboarding a hot air balloon to shore casually yes just another day in the life uh 310 wants to know uh do you get boners when

hot people are on the beach uh in bikinis back to hot people interesting um well so i will i will send that back i don't i wouldn't answer that question i'll send it back to them that we wear trunks and bikinis and so that would be pretty obvious if we had certain aspects of our body um it's pretty out in the open for that they can answer it themselves 909 wants to know have you ever punched a shark in the face actually um recently also in san diego you've seen that there's this clip that went kind of yeah the big great white the biggest on record yeah that well no no no there was a whale that that the great white shark was eating and uh one of our guards actually went down and had to you know because they have to tow that whale out to see further

so it doesn't wash in. So while the great white shark was eating the whale on the other side, he went down, tied the line around the tail so that they could tow it out with the jet ski. So not quite punching a shark in the face, but I would say that's pretty freaking close. Wow, the tie, the thing to the whale

while the shark was eating it? Yeah, because, I mean, you can't shoo the shark away from a carcass, right? Shoo, get out of here. Yeah, there's no squirt bottle to get it to do it knowing it's doing a bad thing, you know? Now, what is the, 714 wanted to know, what is the least respected job for the lifeguard and the most respected? Is the least respected like a kid's pool and the most respected is like surf beach in Hawaii?

Okay, I think I see which way that question's going. In general, people don't know what lifeguards do. In general, they think we're Baywatch and everything is least respected because they think we're just tanning and checking out chicks, which is evidenced by a lot of the questions. But actually, whether whether you're in a pool or recreate, I mean, you've got like you've got pools like Atlantis, you know, the massive Disneyland water parks where you have thousands of people. So whether you're in a pool, you're in the ocean, you're in Hawaii, you're anywhere in the world for that matter. If your airway goes under the water and you stop breathing, that feeling is the same. right you have to put a good mask seal return oxygen to that person's brain and with people

screaming at you hope that you bring them back to life so there's no least or more respected i think it's a matter of perspective and seeing what you understand about the profession but we get to do some pretty crazy cool stuff no matter which environment whether it is hawaii or california or anywhere uh 323 wants to know do you respect the sandcastle if racing into the ocean to make a rescue? Will you attempt to leap over or move around or will you just plow right through the sandcastle? That's actually a great question. Navigating the beach environment like that, we do our best to avoid if we can, because we like to keep the public happy. But, you know, every single time there's a situation where you fall into a hole or you trip and then you'll do

a yard sale trying to navigate, you know, the buckets and the kids and the towels on a busy day you could only imagine um all that stuff and i will say just as a public safety thing what people don't know digging holes at the beach is like one of the most underestimated um hazards because when the sand collapses on you well it's cool until it's not yeah we found out last week it's deadlier than shark attacks because people are getting in the holes they dug and then the sand's collapsing on them right correct and you can't sand is so heavy pure cubic um you know cubic square inch or whatever that you literally can't you could have most of their body out but if their legs feel stuck today you can't pull them out so now imagine your head's the thing

that's stuck down there and you can't breathe it's the same as drowning people just don't know drasco is a lifeguard paramedic i'm with us right now i've been doing lifeguarding a long ass time over i think two decades saving lives how many lives do you think you've uh individually saved that is a question coming through from 818 sure um that's a tough question right because the the majority of what lifeguards do is preventative right so if i go to let's say a family of 10 people that were just about to set up their tent right in front of a massive rip current which you know they told you hey we can't swim we're worried about what's going on today in the ocean and i tell them to move 100 yards to the south so they can set their stuff up somewhere else where they'll

go in the water where it's safer does that count you know so we don't really count lives saved and stuff now if you're asking me about dramatic rescues where you know someone's climbing the ladder and barely making it underwater and stuff those you know you kind of didn't do your job if you're lifeguarding good then those happen less frequently but i've definitely had a couple in different instances five six two i know the answer to this but i'll ask you anyway is it true that female lifeguards will not go into the ocean if it's not their hair washing day uh that's yeah no no matter on the hair day the the lifeguards go in no matter what sometimes it makes them sexier I would imagine.

And as somebody who's constantly in a lifeguard tower and people watching at the beach, what is the most annoying beach behavior? I mean, there are people doing very annoying things at the beach that we as just regular people have to deal with. But since you see it all the time, what is the top? That is a great question. I'm really trying to answer this one because there are so many. I mean, watching the beach environment is such a unique and interesting thing. And I've seen a lot of crazy stuff. you know i don't think there's any singular activity that's annoying it's when if you ask

them to stop let's say it's like someone sets up a tent so you can't see the water or they're playing blasting loud music and you can't hear your radio whatever when you ask somebody to kindly stop and they don't listen i would say that's the most annoying because i love seeing all the crazy stuff people do at the beach i've seen you know people carrying their cat while or kite surfing a skateboard, right? Like all these crazy things. But if it's dangerous or if it's impeding our job, that's when it gets annoying.

Otherwise, we love people having fun and doing crazy weird stuff. This question came through a bit, so I'll just read this to you and then we'll wrap it up. But if people are having sex on the beach, do you let them finish or do you break it up? So there's a reason why tents aren't allowed at the beach that are closed on all four sides.

We have to see through. now certain times in off-season if maybe you see a tent and you say, well, I'll get back to that later. You know, we don't really know what's going on inside there, but I'll let you do the math. Yeah. Oh, we hate math.

I didn't know you were going to get all boring with math. Alright, forget it. Interview's over now. Well, anyway. Thank you, Drasko. Drasko, this guy's got a podcast all about lifeguarding. It's called The Lifeguard Project. I would imagine it's a good listen to, so we'll go I put up the link to that on our Instagram.

Thank you for spending some of your time. By the way, during this chat, he was supposed to be watching the water. Now 11 people have died, so he can talk to us. Shark ate him. Worth it, I think. So thank you for joining us on KROQ, and thanks for protecting us here in Southern California. I greatly appreciate you. Thank you, guys.

That was fun. Thank you. All right, cool. That was fun until the math part. Then it became unfun real quick. Fun is code for dumb. If you ever want to get out of a chat with us, just say, it's time to do the math, and we will end the meeting. Goodbye.

No time for math. You'll let me? We'll do some takeaways and wrap up the show after this on KROQ. Don't rock. We are fine, Alicia. Math free since 93. Let's get into some takeaways from today's show, and then we'll officially get the hell out of here.

And I don't know if you want to take this as good news or bad news, but it's news. Instead of Sluggo, after we get off the air, your good friend Postmaster Johnny will be sitting here to get you through the next four hours and give away some more of those tickets so you can go to that cool new festival happening in Santa Monica with the Killers, It's Blime, Jack White, and others.

And all you've got to do is just keep listening to KROQ because you'll have another chance to win those tickets coming up in about 15 minutes and then all day long right here on KROQ. Good thing you don't need to know CPR to do this job. No, you do not. Just being here by himself. Takeaways. What do we got? 626, my takeaway is Chad gave up candy.

Oh, man, Chad gave up candy for pregnancy. 6-2-6, the most American thing ever, is eagle-on-eagle violence. 6-5-0, don't slap the kids. 7-1-4, Klein's funner summer was made up of horny moms and staring at a fountain. It was a waterfall, first of all, not a fountain. I wouldn't waste my time on mushrooms staring at a fountain. 8-1-8, Jiminy Cricket is Jake's newest roommate. 8-1-8, we've all been lied to about Alaska.

And 714, my takeaway is Johnny is certified to save a small infant or toddler that swallowed a Lego. Yeah, but that's it. Anything outside of that, good luck. You're on your own, kid. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? PSA, you don't slap babies during CPR. Don't slap the babies. Although you are kind of supposed to karate chop them a little bit, if I remember correctly.

Johnny, takeaway? Yeah, Ally is the fat and the furious. She's the fat and the furious. More tickets for you tomorrow to go on that Fat and Furious ride at Universal. That's actually the Fast and the Furious ride. And we will get you in Universal Studios again tomorrow morning with a four-pack of tickets. Jake the Nerd, you got a takeaway? Yeah, we're just a bunch of weighted dummies.

We are. We sure are. It's not the nicest way to talk about humans, but that's what we are. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is Jake is the kick it cring. He's the kick it cring. Don't be fooled. Omar, takeaway?

Mushrooms and waterfalls. That's what Vegas is all about. That's what it's all about. That's what built that town, man. Let's get into this, then we'll get out of here. And remember, tomorrow we're back at it again for another whatever the hell this show is. And thank you to our Lifeguard guests for joining us a moment ago. Thank you, everyone, for interacting and participating.

If you need us in the meantime, there's a GOAT line for you, 844-956-GOAT. Leave your messages there. Or if you want to, find us on Instagram or go to KROQ's YouTube and check out today's show with your eye holes. All right, goodbye. well that's all we got for you we know you were hoping it would be better trust me when i say we were too but for those of you with learning differences this episode comes with a visual aid in the form of a live stream on youtube that's right you can see the show you just listened to with a bunch of more weird awkward moments where there's music and commercials playing and ali and

are just sitting there picking at our faces yeah so if you go to k-rock's youtube you can watch it live or you can watch it after the fact and as always you can catch us on instagram at klein alley show and on tiktok as well and there's a live show by the way on the radio okay volleyball