Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's Broken Nose

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, Rock.

We are Klein Alley Show. It's probably hard to tell on days that my nose looks swollen versus days that my nose just looks regular. And you can watch on YouTube to see exactly what I'm talking about. But pretty sure yesterday I shattered and broke my nose pretty badly. I have to go get x-rays after the show today. Is it broken broken? It's kind of hard to tell with your nose, to be honest. I know.

I'm well aware. Does it hurt? Oh, yeah. Are you on pain medication right now? I am on, you know, over-the-counter stuff. Sadly, I abused all my prescription stuff, and it's long gone. But yesterday, having a moment, I had that moment where I finally go, you know what? It feels like summer.

I was in the pool. I was with the kids. I felt like it was just a moment of just feeling calm and relaxed, and it was, like, early enough in the day that I was like, oh, I don't have to start thinking about work yet. It was, like, 11 a.m. It was hot out. The pool was like a perfect temperature, which is very rare because there's always someone in my family that's going, it's too cold. Someone else, too hot. And it was just, everything was perfect.

And I had just a moment of appreciation, which I should never do. Because when that happens. God says, uh-uh. Mine's happy. This guy seems too comfortable right now. Let's go ahead and ruin this. And my daughter said, can you throw me in the pool? Throw me, you know, from, you know, throw me in the pool.

Not into the pool, but I was already in the pool. throw me. What are you talking about? She wanted to launch herself off my, I'm not doing, I think I have a concussion too, by the way. So she goes, can you throw me? I said, sure. I said, sure, I'll throw you. And I didn't want to do it because it meant I had to do something active and I wanted to be lazy. Sometimes those

kids too will get like, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again. Lucky for me, I didn't have any do it again chances because as she puts her feet onto my knees and I kind of go, alright, I'm going to launch you on three. I go one, two, and then I throw her with all my might on three. And instead of her going forward

Like a normal person does She decides to shoot backwards And her whole head Pretty much the skull headbutts me Right in the nose And I just hear crack crack crack Dude kids heads are like concrete And I just hear all these cracks

And then before I take them off I go well that's broken And then just waterfall of blood starts gushing out Into the pool or on the side Everywhere Sharks start circling right away I said Vanessa get out I hear you And I go

God damn And I go That Definitely broken Like I've broken my nose Before clearly Is anyone rushing To your aid

Or are they just Continuing to swim and play Well Bruiser was upset Because she goes You made daddy I can't believe I didn't break your nose I'm the breaker

Of the nose here You haven't seen The last of me nose The You know The kid who I was throwing The older kid She was upset

Because she said I didn't throw her As far as I used to because she went right into my nose. And then you yelled at her about how she didn't do it right? My wife said, stop bleeding in the pool. You're ruining the pool. So then I kind of got out and just sat there

and caught my own blood in my hand for a while and put an ice pack on it and did all that stupid stuff. But I said, everyone else, you just enjoy swimming. The chlorine will probably take care of the blood and I'll just go ahead and sit here and wonder why I allowed myself to appreciate life for even 11 seconds.

Now, did you go to the doctor? No, I texted, I texted, the only number I had of a doctor was the guy that gave me the pig nose. And because he said after that happened. You know, you also know that other weird doctor who's giving you the mouth stuff. The dentist guy. He's gone. He's out of the country. I don't know if he was, I don't know if that's my choice or if he was practicing medicine illegally.

He would probably come to your aid at any time. And he said to me, he's like, sounds like from what you're saying to me, it's probably broken. Probably broke some stuff in there. There's nothing we can do about it now. So unless you want to go spend your Sunday in the ER or whatever, we'll just come in tomorrow. I'll take a look, do some x-rays, and then I have to reset it, which sucks. Well, it doesn't look crooked. Yeah, it sounds like it's going to hurt.

Oh, man. He said try to enjoy your day because tomorrow won't be as enjoyable. So I assume that's his way of threatening that it's going to hurt. But when I get messages like this, you know. Happy Spider-Man premiere day. I absolutely think that Klein looks like the Punisher. My boyfriend is re-watching the Punisher series. And every time I see his TV, I'm like, oh, my God, he looks like Klein.

But he said that I have to stop saying it because I'm ruining the show for him. But that's another guy who looks like he's got just a giant, constantly busted nose. Yeah, and your life is the punisher. That's right, the punishment. Yeah, that is your life. But you know what? This actually helps me because I usually track what's going on in my life based on the way your nose looks. Right, so you'll be able to phase, like, instead of your pregnancy.

Yeah, I'm like, oh, okay, this is after the break. Yeah, this is when I found out the gender or whatever. This is the third time he broke his nose. Yeah, this is last year before he had the surgery, so he just had his regular nose. Like, anytime I see our live streams or videos, I'm like, oh, yeah, that was a couple noses ago. So, it kind of helped. So, thank you. If you push into certain parts of it now with your finger where there should be...

Do you get a prize? Where there should be bone. Blood will shoot out. Your prize is blood. Where there should be, like, bone, it's like now you just go, you just push and it goes right into, like, it's weird. Are you going to need another surgery? I'm not going to do, I mean, I think I have the ability to refuse it at this point. Um, but it, you did previously, I've refused a few times and then eventually it gets me,

but it's, uh, it was not fun. So if you had a fun or summer and I was having a fun or summer, that was all part of the plan. Hey, fun or summer's backfire sometimes. Fun or summer. And I should have gone to the, I, this was the thing. Do you guys want to go to Spider-Man? And I like a stupid ass and everyone was like, yep, Spider-Man.

And I said, yeah, you know what? Let's go swimming. Might as well go to the pool. Come on, you can go swimming anytime. And it's like a hundred degrees. Go inside. That's why I thought it would be great. Let's go in this pool.

We have a pool. Let's use the effing pool. If it's 100 degrees, you don't want to be outside at all. Wouldn't have broken my face at Spider-Man. Man, you probably could have. I think God would have figured it out for you. Guys never broke their nose eating popcorn before. You figured it out a way.

That's unbelievable. We are back with more show, your news, and your tickets after this on KROQ.