Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's Having Sex With Sidney Sweeney In Idaho? (FULL SHOW 8/28)

Episode Date: August 28, 2026

Today was a weird one! Klein is outta town, but weirdly you still heard him at least half the time on today's show. We know times like this can be confusing and disorienting. Deal with it, sugar tits! Klein is likely in Idaho, Iowa or Indiana. We're not sure and neither is he, but one thing he knows: Sidney Sweeney is likely staying in the same complex. Will he make her horribly uncomfortable by staring at her with his murder eyes from across the pool? We'll find out when he gets back on Monday! We still covered a lot on today's show. A new Box Of Shame where Ally let the elevator doors close on a handicapped person, Klein embarrassing himself (again) when one of his D Pics showed up on his family digital calendar. We also learned Johnny has no idea what a Peninsula is but DOES know where Dagestan is, and we talked to a Wildlife expert about the many animals infiltrating our neighborhoods due to the never-ending heatwaves.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, trash Thursday, Friday, forget about that Friday, Saturday, Wednesday, Sunday, sleep in it, eat and brunch

Hit the beach or hit the mall Go out with friends, do nothing at all Sleep in, watch movies, read books Anything goes, just take a look Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah!

Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Hey, what's going on, Grant and Ellie? Good morning, everybody, and welcome to Dollywood!

Welcome to Donnywood! Are you ready? Hello, Climbing Alley, you little bitch. Climbing Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Climbing Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that?

We have a Climbing Alley show. Let's get this show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles! Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Clyde Alley Show.

106.7 KROQ FM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. That's right. It's Friday. It's Clyde Alley Show. And because it is Friday, it's always a gamble whether Kevin Kline is going to be here. No, we actually knew going in that Klein was going to be out today. So you got me. You got Vanessa.

Hello. You got Postmaster Johnny. Yes, sir. You've got Jake the Nerd. Oh, no, I'm out, too. I'm going to leave right now. Oh, okay. All right.

They're dropping like flies around here. Omar is also out. Did we know that? We did know that, but kind of more last minute. I think Omar was on the fence about it, and then when Klein said he had to take the day off, Omar was like, oh, me, too, which I was like. We should have done it, too. One, two, three, not it.

Not it. Oh, man. We have to be here. We're here. It's all right. We're going to be fine. It's great because we've already got good vibes on the text line. 323 said, I always get bad feelings when Allie hosts alone.

Oh, great. I don't know why I associate this with tragedy. I think since Allie took over during the fires when Klein was on evacuation mode, which I don't even remember. No, we were all here for that. And I know other people on the text line, 323, Klein took another Friday off. typical. I understand. Yeah, I get it. But you know what? There are a lot of people that

are still going to be listening, hopefully. And if you don't, that's fine. I'm tired. I'm pregnant. And I can only deal with so much, so many death threats. So just keep those at a minimum today. Who's sending you death threats? It's me. It's from my number. It's Jake. Jake's just sending death

threats. You know, we are going to have the live stream, I believe, as well. But people were tuning into the live stream for the first time yesterday. not because of me or Klein, but because of somebody else that joined us. To give birth, you do everything you can to get Megan on the mornings with you guys. And I will tune in to every live stream there is, or at least that she's on. And lastly, as a hot take, Klein, you're probably going to be mad,

but Megan Holiday over at Lena Bowie on any day. I said what I said. Bye. So, of course, people are excited about Megan Holiday being in studio yesterday. When anybody comes in here and puts a little makeup on, has a smile on her face, it's a little bit different. I understand. And I'm glad that we're here together. And I know that people already have a long list of replacements for me when I get fat and have to take the day off. Why wait?

Why wait? I'll just leave now. I understand. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We've got prizes. Of course, we've got tickets to the kegger that we're still going to be giving you. We're going to be doing Johnny Doesn't Know. There's also going to be a show quiz at the end of the show.

So anybody who does stick around, you're going to be rewarded. If you can answer a few questions about today's show, then you're in for the kegger that's going to be taking place next Thursday in Newport with Slightly Stupid. It is our endless summer kegger, so stick around for tickets to that. There's going to be some new stuff today, and you will hear Klein's voice. We did prepare for this in advance, so it's not just going to be me this morning. It's K-Rock. Klein, Allie, you know what time it is. Wait, who cares what time it is?

It's what day it is. It's Friday. It's not just any Friday. It's $500 Friday. $500. That's right. It's $500 Friday, which means that you can call in to win $500 today. And, yes, you will not be playing against me because I will be the one coming up with the questions.

But you can play against Vanessa. You can play against Jake the Nerd. You can play against Johnny, whose feed is questionable. I don't know how up-to-date he is on what's going on in the world. but this is, I would say, your best odds in a while of winning $500. Let's go! Let's take some money from the pregnant lady. Not just any pregnant lady, the pregnant lesbian, and let's give it to one of the lucky sloggers.

Come on, she doesn't need the money. She's married to a Jedi. Let's go! Yeah, you would think that if I was married to a Jedi, I would have all the money in the world, but that's not the case. In fact, my wife has decided she wants to be a, quote, homemaker now, even though she doesn't do anything to keep up the home or cook. But she is thinking about cooking next week, if you're keeping track. She did cook three weeks ago. I heard a lot about it leading up, during, and after.

And she enjoyed it so much that she's considering doing it within the next week or two. Well, it's the thought that counts. It's the thought that counts. And there is a lot of thought, not a lot of action. But speaking of action, call now, 800-520-1067 if you want to be a part of $500 Friday and win $500 after this. That's a short one. Klein on the show.

It's Friday. Klein is out today. Omar is out today. But I'm here. Vanessa's here. Postmaster Johnny is here. And so is Jake the Nerd. And we are about to give away 500 bucks for Allie Knows the News.

Now, you can't play against me. We're about to give it away? We're about to give it away, potentially. You never know. Because if you can get more questions right, then Johnny, Vanessa, or Jake, then you can win 500 bucks. So we're going to play with, what is it, Tatiana? Tatiana in Pasadena hello is this you yes it is hello good morning who do you want to play with this morning I am gonna have to go with Postmaster Johnny Postmaster Johnny I would agree with your

decision that's your biggest chance of winning in my opinion let's get into it it's time for Allie Knows the News Allie Knows the News is Johnny sequestered you can't hear anything He's always sequestered. He's always sequestered. If only he knew what the word sequestered meant, maybe he would be sequestered. That's funny. Johnny cannot hear these questions. I will ask you five of them, and then I will ask Johnny the same five questions.

If you can get more right than he can, you win 500 bucks. You ready? Ready. All right. After settling their lawsuit, Metta will be implementing a new limit for social media for minors. How many hours a day is that limit? Ooh, I'm going to have to go with eight. Eight hours a day for minors.

That is a very big limit. I think that's how they got into this lawsuit in the first place. All right, question two. Taco Bell is doing a collab with this pop star to work on her own version of a Baja Blast. Oh, Bad Bunny? Bad Bunny. That would be interesting. Question three.

There is a petition to rename an airport after Dolly Parton. In which city is this airport? Oh, my goodness. Oh, where is this? Need an answer. Give me a city. This airport is being possibly renamed after Dolly Parton. Oh, I'm trying to see where Dolly Parton is from.

Man, you don't know where she's from? No. Oh, my God. She's from Titicaca. I'm going to go with Kentucky. Kentucky. Okay, that's not a city. But that's a, yeah, the city of Kentucky.

It might as well be a city. Question number four. A glass fell from this hotel in Vegas. I don't think anyone was hurt, but a big exterior piece of glass from the hotel fell from the tower. Which hotel was it? Trump. Oh, I won? I mean, that would be quite a story.

The Bellagio. The Bellagio. Okay, we're going with the Bellagio. I'm going to go with the Bellagio. All right, and question number five. It's another Dolly question. This movie star paid tribute to Dolly Parton by putting out his own rendition of I Will Always Love You.

Oh. Oh, gosh. Give me an answer, Tatiana. Come on, you can do this. Oh, my gosh. 500 bucks on the line. I don't know One more time the question

I'm sorry This famous actor put out his own rendition of I Will Always Love You as a tribute to Dolly Parton Actor, an actor, boy Thanks for the hints Vanessa Three

Two, one Nothing, alright You did not so great but that's alright, maybe Johnny will do not so great Johnny, let's get him back into earshot here. Johnny, are you ready to play Allie Knows the News? I'm coming in. He's coming.

Oh, you're coming in. Hi. Hello. More people in here. All right, here we go. Question number one, Johnny. Yeah. After settling their lawsuit, Meta is going to be implementing a new limit for social media for minors.

How many hours a day is the limit? You said hours? How many hours? That's S. It's more than one. I'm going to go two. Okay, two hours. That is correct, Johnny.

Is that really? Yeah. Tatiana said eight hours a day, which I think is what got Meta into this problem in the first place, is that there really was no limit. Eight hours a day would be... That's crazy, bro. That's suicide. It wouldn't drive anybody crazy, exactly.

Question number two. Taco Bell is doing a collab with this pop star in their own version of a Baja Blast. Daisy Chain Festival is coming up. Olivia Rodrigo. Yes, Olivia Rodrigo. That's correct, Johnny. Hell yeah. That Daisy Chain is this weekend.

I'm so pissed I couldn't get tickets. Question number three. There's a petition to rename an airport after Dolly Parton in which city? Is it her city, where she's from? It is a city. Nashville, Tennessee. There you go, Johnny. Three for three.

I'm protecting your money today. Yeah. I got you. Tatiana could not give me an answer. She gave me the city of Kentucky. Is that not a city? Which is not a city. Oh.

Are you just learning this? Well, I don't know Kentucky. I don't know what goes on over there. You don't know anything outside of the state of California? Nah. Up until a couple years ago, Johnny thought that San Diego was outside of California. I thought. Closing out.

Question number four. A glass recently fell from this Vegas hotel. Damn, was that the Palms? God, we would really curse the Palms, would we not? We are the biggest mushes in the planet. Sounds like us. Is that your guess? I'm going to go with the Palms.

Okay. Yeah. No, not the Palms. Tatiana said the Bellagio, which is also wrong. It is the Fountain Blue, that new hotel that's actually pretty swanky and nice, but I guess Not so much if you have pieces, big shards of glass falling from it. And then finally, this actor paid tribute. Huh?

Boy. This boy? Actor boy. According to Vanessa, it's an actor boy. Paid tribute to Dolly Parton by releasing his own version of I Will Always Love You. What the hell is an actor boy? I was just clearing it up. Anyways, didn't seem to clear up much for Tatiana.

I will say that Johnny's got this one in the bag and I won't have to give away 500 bucks today. But what do you think the answer is, Johnny? If it's actor boy, then I'm probably going to go with Billy Ray Cyrus. He was an actor. He was on Hannah Montana. That's true. And you're just thinking of someone who was an actor as a boy. Yeah.

And he was, he is a man, a boy. Well, that's not correct. It's Vin Diesel. I think Vanessa kind of threw you off by saying boy. Yeah. But he was, he's quite a man. We will get into the rendition of that beautiful tribute that Vin Diesel did in the next ADD News. But let's get some music on now.

Thanks for hanging up with us on this Friday. What does Tatiana have to say? Oh, yeah, Tatiana. That's right. I never do this. Tatiana, what do you have to admit on the airwaves of KROQ? This is Tatiana from Pasadena. And, well, Johnny knows the news.

Johnny knows the news. That's right. It's just me, Vanessa, Johnny, and Jake today. Omar's out. Klein's out. Thanks for being in the dumpster fire with us. Let's get a song on now. And, yes, you, what?

Has no back. Hey Rock, we are Klein Alley Show 800-520-1067 to call or to text you can use the go line when we're not around 844-956-GOAT I don't think this will come as a surprise to you Alley but probably also not to the listener

that I am not a I'm not a very well organized person I have a diagnosis that was given to me at a young age it is called executive functioning disorder I'm glad you remembered that You can organize those letters.

Actually, it could be the other way around. I'm not sure what it entails, but it basically means that... You can't function. Yeah, that I'm not good at functioning in regular society. On an executive level. Yeah, I could never be an executive, right? You know, you see like the field trips of adults that get taken to the grocery store, and they kind of teach them like, this is how you budget, and you go and you...

Like, I kind of need that. You have never and will never possess any kind of C position. CFO, CEO, COO. No. No Cs. Allie's a C-U-N-T, but she earned that over time. Yes, I did, damn it. Convinced that Rob the Blob is not 762 pounds.

I mean, he is in this AI-generated photo. Yeah, in this picture, he looks to be about 762. He should have made himself, like, laying down, you know? I know, like the whale. Yeah. You guys, people like this can't stand up. Totally. The fact that he's just alone standing up in his bathroom, and then...

He's got, like, the devil horns. Yeah, yeah, this is me. I got up. Anyway, Rob, it was nice knowing you. R.I.P., brother. To lose a Dolly Parton and a Rob the Blob in the same week, it's tough. But anyway, we'll try to party without you. Don Francisco's coffee is what fuels Allie and I to wake up every morning and put on this radio show.

But there's other people in the world that don't have Don Francisco's coffee. And boy, could they use a cup. Time for another round of Get This Guy a Cup of Coffee. One of the teachers from Southview High School who appears to be sleeping explains what that picture actually shows. Terrence Watson says he cringes every time he sees this picture of himself with his eyes closed at Southview High School. He's a substitute teacher. I had a headache. I had a long morning. I had a migraine headache. Watson is one of three Southview teachers who had photos snapped.

A 15-inch tablet-style thing that sits in my kitchen. And it's like a digital calendar thing that allows me to visually see. I'm a visual person. Right. visually see what the day looks like what what i have to do that day what things i have what what things i gotta do for my kids what things i'm supposed to do for my wife household stuff this this is like ceo stuff though it's like like what's up kevin here's your day right like you know when's my 10 o'clock yes like power stuff right and i don't have important things like

that on there like ceos would have but i'll have things that'll be like uh remember your daughter has uh soccer don't leave her at the park again you know that sort of stuff remember you had pizza three days in a row four might be too much yeah you're about to hit your pizza street keep it going so i got this thing and it sits in the kitchen and it's like the size of your computer monitor and i and i link i can i got it i took it out i said this is amazing i just linked it to my phone and all of a sudden all of my stuff went to it so far so good what i didn't realize is that it also linked and sent all my pictures from my phone and when this thing goes into sleep mode Oh, it'll save them all into like a slideshow?

It starts slideshowing my pictures. Now, as you know, in my phone, I have some pictures that I would consider fine for everyone to see and other pictures that should not be broadcast for anyone to see. Are these all your sweaty gym photos? No, no, way worse. A couple of D pics that I had in my phone. What? Why do you have those? I didn't even remember taking them.

Like older D pics. I think they're mine. Does it look younger? It's a younger D. I'm like, wait a minute, that's my D. That's my dude from middle school You're a d-pic guy dude Omar good question

I just lost so much respect for you If he's a gym selfie people are also d-pic people First of all I'm not a gym selfie person Yes you are you've sent them to me And the d-pic are not what you would think They're not d-pic like This is like I'm sexting you a d-pic What other kind of d-pic is there

No it's like funny here's it with a mustache Exactly it's funny Like a couple of times I would draw Like a scenario on a piece of paper like a bunch of villagers like this, and I would put it on top of it like it was Godzilla. Too much time on your hands.

And I would send that to my wife, and she would be like, never do that again. But this was years, and then I found these... So all of a sudden now, these things, I couldn't stop it, just started sinking into my kitchen. And my kid saw one of the inappropriate ones. The funny one? Yeah, the funny one. They're all the funny ones.

So what'd she think? I'm sure she would respect it. She said, Daddy, that's a pee-pee. And I said, that's right, it's a PP. That's mine. It's village and these people. I said, it came on this thing. I got to fix this digital screen thing. And now she calls it, she told my wife,

and now I've decided that I'm going to just send it back. Why? I decided that I can't be trusted with this sort of thing. You can delete the pictures. Or do you not want to? You're too proud. It's not about deleting the pictures. Understand, though, that be very careful

if you start getting something that syncs. I know people do this, too. Their home TV syncs to their phone, puts all their pictures on there as like some sort of a moving wallpaper. Don't you have pictures in your phone you don't want anyone to see other than you? You must. Everyone's got pictures. They're not always Ds. I don't think I have pictures of my naked body anywhere.

You don't think so? I wouldn't do that to my poor phone. You don't have one picture of you naked or sweaty or splotchy? The only pictures that I would have of me that are inappropriate would be for like medical purposes. By the way, I have the... Like here's a weird thing on my boob. I have the picture of the D pic that Omar sent us all in my phone because he sent it to us all. Why would you say...

You have to save that. Delete that, yeah. Well, I should have deleted it. Is that on your calendar, too? It's in my calendar. That's what I have today at noon. I got to get out of here. Bright and early.

It's K-Rock. It's Klein Alley Show. It's a Friday. It's pretty good news for you. I know that people are upset and disoriented. Klein is actually not here today. I'm here. Vanessa's here.

Jake the Nerd is here. And Postmaster Johnny is here. Omar is out. And I know it's confusing. Sometimes you're hearing me. Sometimes you're hearing me and Klein. We are doing everything we can to bring you an entirely new show today. You're not going to hear any reruns or repeats, so everyone on the text line, just calm down.

And if you are this person on the GOAT line, you're listening for the first time at a very weird time. Oh, man, I just started listening to your show, and you guys are the best. Cameroon, Cameroon, is that you? You guys are hilarious. Yeah, I know. it's probably a big um 360 that you're or i guess it would be a 180 for you um listening when we're all here and then now tuning in today and being extremely confused but you will be rewarded for listening to the show today with tickets to our kegger if you can answer some

questions about today's show we will be doing the show quiz before we get out of here today so take notes on whatever is the hell is happening on all the mistakes that are being made that have been made and probably will be made if you take detailed notes and you can answer a few questions three in a row about today's show then you're going to the endless summer kegger which is happening in orange county next thursday with slightly stupid i will have an interesting weekend this weekend because i've been tasked with having a one-night stand and i thank you because you have tried to help me by coming up with celebrities that i can do i have been given a hall pass by my wife any a to c list celebrity i'm allowed to sleep with apparently this excludes

men which would exclude this nominee hey guys just catching up with the podcast and uh yes we're talking about ali getting a free ticket this weekend for a celebrity uh i live in orange county and i can tell you that dennis rodman actually lives in orange county as well and he frequents a lot of beach bars so if ali wants to just kind of do a little bar hop in orange county And, you know, she could potentially run into Dennis Rodman and he could, you know, make her dream come true. OK, Dennis Rodman is also on the table. I got a lot of DMs from people with other nominees. I think Katie has started.

My wife is starting to take this a little more seriously because as I was going to bed last night, she said, if you hook up with anyone this weekend, make sure you dye your roots first. And I was like, Jesus. And then she was like, would no part of you feel guilty about this? She's starting to take it a little more seriously now that it's become maybe a 0.1% chance to like a 1% chance. I was like, Katie, you don't have to worry about this. I don't think it's happening. Wait, why doesn't she want you to get with guys? I don't know.

I guess maybe it's more of a threat. Is she afraid you'll like convert? No. I remember when I was. She's straight-a-phobic, man. No, I think there's a weirdness to it for me, too. I always, there was a girl that I was with in college who cheated on me with a guy and it bothered me so much more than if she had cheated on me with another woman. I don't know if it's like, man, the guys get everything.

You know, it's that kind of thing where like, oh, the guy always wins. They get the girl even though she's a lesbian. Maybe it's that aspect. But if I can't get anybody, I'm having sex with a robot this weekend while my kid sleeps upstairs. So that's my weekend. Let's make yours better as the day goes on. And we've got your ADD news after this. It's only been a few days since we lost the great Dolly Parton

But the tributes continue Tributes that were all way better than anything that Klein or I tried to do this week for Dolly Parton After this week I really think that there's no one worse at tributes than the two of us But then Vin Diesel stepped in And he said move over Klein and Allie I can do a worse tribute And he did His tribute included singing his own rendition of I Will Always Love You.

And if you haven't heard it yet, here it is. If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So I'll go But I know I will think of you Each step of the way You know what's incredible is that he used an echo effect.

Like, he went through effort. It wasn't just him and his cell phone. Oh, I thought he was, like, in a closet or something. Now he's got music right underneath. He's gone full karaoke. And he needed days to do this.

It wasn't like it was the day she died. This is days afterwards. So he prepared. He's definitely got Klein-level talent. And you know what I think is happening? I think he's trying to stay relevant after Dwayne The Rock Johnson announced that he's putting out an album. Oh, my gosh. And that he's going to be a singer.

Because The Rock, he's had his eggs in like 20 different baskets, you know? I mean, the guy's got a lot of different things going on. And they're kind of similar looking dudes. Yeah, and they had that weird rivalry during Fast and Furious. I mean, Vin Diesel has had all of the eggs in the Fast and Furious basket for the last 20 plus years. And I think now he's realizing, like, oh, crap, I got to do something else. I'm going to become a singer. I got to expand.

I'm going to embarrass myself. Maybe I should be embarrassing myself on social media more. Well, let's be real. The Rock totally beats Vin Diesel. Come on. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't think there's any kind of contest here. I like Vin Diesel, but it's because I like Fast and the Furious.

Just because of Fast and the Furious. Because he's all about family. And he lives his life a quarter mile. Exactly. So there are a lot of things to be terrified of these days with all the wild animals coming into our neighborhood in the heat wave. We're actually going to talk to a wildlife expert later about that. If you have natural disasters, those are happening left and right. We have rattlesnakes that are taking us out.

We've got spiders banding together to attack people. Spider, spider, spider, spider. And now here's another thing we can add to our feed because bats are now burrowing into our mouths as we sleep. And this, I would imagine, doesn't happen often, but it did happen to one woman. I was dreaming that there was a little mouse trying to get into my mouth. And I, in my dream, I was reaching up to my mouth. And when I did, I grabbed something and ultimately I folded the bat's wings back. And then when I touched the hair on its back and kind of pulled it out and then looked at it,

that's when it was like oh my gosh this is real life and i have had a bad encounter before those things are so scary because they fly so sloppily and because they're like blind they're just going off of echolocation and as they were in my place in our apartment and we were all screaming the bat didn't really know where to go because the echolocation probably wasn't working because of all of our screaming and those things can hide behind like a one or two way like they can hide behind picture frames they can get so small and i remember there was one that flew into our apartment i looked everywhere katie would not sleep until i found it i couldn't find it anywhere this is we were in the middle of a fight actually and then this interrupted the fight did this

happen in california this was in northern california and it kind of resolved the fight because we were like we have to come together to figure out this bat situation i looked everywhere couldn't find it finally we got in bed together we were like i love you i'm sorry and as we're falling asleep we hear this like scratching sound i thought it was the cats eating food or whatever we've got many cats always have and then we realized there's no cat at the food bowl so i she goes get out of bed and look i take out my phone flashlight and i pan over to our window and it is peeking over the blinds, looking at us. You can see its little glowing eyes.

And I go, oh, my God. And then it just flies. It goes, ah! And we all scream, Kate, kick me out of bed. She took the bed for herself. She covered herself with the covers and was like, you figure this S out. And then all night she just stayed up in bed, terrified, because no one in the middle of the night would come out.

The next day we had a guy come out, do a whole sweep of the place. He said, I don't see anything, but these things can hide in the smallest places imaginable. Wow. And then months later, I found a dead one in our living room. What? And I don't know if it was the same one. I don't know if it was a new one, but it wasn't alive anymore. Ew.

We have a new music festival kicking off this weekend. It's Olivia Rodrigo's new Daisy Chain Festival with Chapel Row and Bikini Kill Garbage. Sarah McLachlan is also making an appearance. For anybody who remembers the days of Lilith Fair, I was excited about this. I was growing out my pit hair and everything, but I couldn't get tickets. And any grungy lesbians who did get lucky enough to get tickets are going to be extra sticky this weekend because it's still going to be hot as hell. And they're worried that this festival does not have enough resources to keep everybody cool and safe. The festival map only has five hydration stations, five cooling stations and two shaded areas, two shaded areas in the entire festival.

It's a really open space, hot location, and they have two medical tents. And so some of these experts are saying the festival needs to do something. They need to make some kind of a change before the festival starts. But that's like every music festival. They say that. It's not the promoter's job to protect everybody. Yeah, but you went to Just Like Heaven, and you said they had the water spray guy. They had the water spray guy, but it was mostly on me to take care of myself and be the mature adult I am and go find shade, go sit down, go hydrate.

Yeah, but you couldn't even do that. You had to leave because you had a migraine. Yeah, like, look, I paid the price because right before the strokes went on, the only reason I actually really wanted to go, I had a major migraine. And I had to go sit down, and I was like, wow, this is my own fault. Like, I couldn't imagine being like, hey, just like Heaven, Golden Voice, you guys need to give me more shade. No, I think they just need to, I mean, put a couple of umbrellas up. You know, put a few more water stations out. There's a few things that you can do to make sure people aren't effing miserable.

And with Van's Warped Tour, it was everybody on a bunch of cement. And it was a bunch of punk goth people that are dressed in black. Oh, that smelled so bad. I mean, and this one, it's going to be all lesbians, guys. This one's not going to smell any better. It'll smell even worse. Just saying. Smell bros.

Get some deodorant in there. Get something figured out. We'll start a new hour of the show after this. This is the world famous K-Rock. It's K-Rock. It's Friday morning. It's Klein Alley Show. I'm Allie.

Vanessa is right across from me. We've got Jake the Nerd here. We've got Postmaster Johnny. He's an adult. He's an adult man, and he can take care of himself. I can hydrate. That's right. Hopefully, you'll do it better for the next festival.

It's supposed to cool down this weekend, hopefully. They say all that, but I feel like the weather team is kind of giving up. Don't mush it. Don't mush it. I know. I shouldn't mush it. Klein is not here today. It's interesting because he is in the state of Idaho, I believe.

Or Iowa. Or Iowa. I don't think he knows what state he's going to. He said pretty much every I state. I think they all kind of run together, to be honest. I would probably make the same mistake. But he's going to this area of Idaho that's supposed to be really nice. And he said the rumor is that where he is staying, the same area he's staying,

Sidney Sweeney is also staying in this area. I know, he told me. So he is wondering if he's going to run into Sidney Sweeney. And I said, well, you're going to be with your wife. That's a terrible time to run into Sidney Sweeney. I mean, you're not going to be able to take your eyes off of her if you're both lounging at the same pool. You're just going to be staring at her with your weird murder eyes all day while your wife asks you why you continue to stare at this person. That's why you need sunglasses.

So it's like, is it better if it doesn't happen at all? I kind of feel like that's the case. uh johnny is he has been busy this week putting together his next jason report he swears that july august september october november are the best months of the year it's a period of the year called jason i guess at this point it would be called asson and we've been giving a hard time to him about this ever since he started doing it but apparently we're all wrong so i have some beef okay the jason report johnny's jason report was genius it's hilarious it's a funny joke I love the helicopter, and I'm sure a lot of people do, okay?

And you guys just keep putting it down. You keep putting down his wonderful, great, funny idea, okay? Meanwhile, Allie's over here with Netflix or Notflix? Netflix or Notflix was a great game. Is it bigger or smaller than Klein's neck? It was genius. That was awful, and we all had to listen to that. Yet, Johnny can't do his Jason report?

That's whack, man. Let him do the report from the helicopter. It's funny, and a lot of people like it. Yeah, we didn't have time to get to this yesterday, and I know Johnny's been working on your Jason report. So, Vanessa, why don't you get it ready? Oh, you have it. You've got it all ready to go.

Okay, so this is Johnny's Jason report. Yeah, it's funny, and people like it. It's funny, and everyone likes it. Okay, so listen up, damn it. Hey, it's Postmaster Johnny, and here's what's coming up this week in Jason. This Friday, August 28th, our good friends Wolves of Glendale

are playing a record release show at Licorice Pizza in Studio City on Ventura Boulevard. They're a super funny band. They're great. You should honestly go check them out, even if you ain't got nothing to do. And then on September 9th, the NFL season kicks off with the Seattle Seahawks hosting the New England Patriots. Good luck finding it on any streaming service. And if you illegally stream it online, be careful of those webcam girl pop-up ads.

What? You know, you know. Ending October. If you're looking to get down and party with a bunch of baddies, then you're going to want to go and see Charlie XCX on October 17th. It's going to be super sick. I'm going to be there. My hot girlfriend is going to be there. And all of the most beautiful people in Los Angeles are going to be there.

So if you're looking for baddies, go to CharlieXCX on October 17th. And then in November, I'm really looking forward to this. Diodelo's Deftones is happening at Petco Park in San Diego. And I'm hyped because I'm finally going to probably take a train from L.A. all the way to San Diego to go see Deftones in the neighborhood. And it's going to be so sick. And that's what's happening this week in Jason. All right.

Was that better or worse than Netflix? Netflix or not? I mean, that was hilarious. That was hilarious. Well, I am also amazed that Johnny's going to take a train for the first time and that we play a helicopter sound intermittently. It seemed like that was a helicopter that was breaking. We've got to do a choo-choo sound because Johnny's going to go on a train.

Are you really brave enough because you pussied out on the helicopter thing? Yeah, helicopter, not about it. Train, I'm all about it. He's an air pussy. He is an air pussy. That's true. In a lot of people's worlds, that's a good thing, but not for Johnny. All right, we're going to get some music on now.

The show continues. In about an hour, we're going to have tickets to see Weezer and give away another standby list trip to that K-Rock Road Trip USA in Boston. K-Rock Klein Alley Show, we're wrong a lot of times. Every once in a while, we're right. And when we're right, we do want to tell you that we're right because it happens so infrequently. But something, Allie, you and I both predicted is now proving to be a problem in society. So much so that 911 is being called because people are very upset when they get home and they realize that the alcohol they have purchased... Is 0%.

is alcohol-free. It's not big enough. The font that says there's no alcohol in this. We talked about putting those neon caps on the bottles like they used to do on the guns to prove they were squirt guns so people wouldn't keep getting shot by the cops. I always used to take those orange little caps off

and be like, it's real, damn it. I want this to look like a real weapon. I don't want it to look like some pussy who's got a neon water gun. But apparently now people are calling. A guy recently just called the police. And there is audio, which we're trying to get right now.

But this guy called the 911. one this was after buying gin that he thought was alcohol free oh then he thought sorry that he thought was regular gin turned out to be alcohol free i think he even finished half the bottle and thought it was broken gin he did it wasn't working so think about for a second how frustrated you have been you you and i have both been duped before buying stuff that we thought was alcohol that was alcohol free oh i bought an entire uh i think i bought a bunch of coronas i basically bought a bunch of beer for a party and then we were all drinking it and we were eating and blah blah, blah. Hours go by

and everyone goes, huh, I'm not really feeling these beers. And then I realized that my cheap ass went over to a different freezer section that had less, it was less expensive than the other beers. So I was like, wow, what a steal. This is great. And it was zero proof. Right. And it's the case

now with tequila. It's the case with everything else. And even some of those tequila bottles, which you know are like fancy ass looking bottles. Sometimes the font is even in Spanish. I can't, I I was real close before that epic pool party that people are still talking about. You're like, does Añejo mean alcohol-free? I had a bottle in my cart, and it was alcohol-free.

And luckily, the guy at the register, and I think maybe this is what they're training people to do now. Are you sure? Yeah, because I was going to do self-checkout. They wouldn't let me do self-checkout because I had alcohol, which is still a stupid rule that they have. But they won't let you do self-checkout with alcohol to keep kids from buying it. So they sent me to the regular checkout, and the guy said, just so you know, this is alcohol-free. And I was like, it is? I'm like, oh, smash that on the floor.

You threw all your groceries on the table. Get out of here. Chuck! And he goes, yeah, he goes, a lot of people, he goes, a lot of people are making this mistake because that bottle of tequila I pulled off of a shelf with a bunch of other bottles of tequila. You should be able to get your money back, no questions asked, if you, even if you open it and drink one. Yeah, here's the 911 call from that guy that was upset about buying the alcohol-free gin. What's the problem?

Well, I've just gone in there, and they've got this miniature Gordon gin with tonic. It's in the alcohol section. I'm going over the park, and it's nice and cool, and I'm sitting in the shade, and I look at it. It's zero alcohol. Zero. And I just brought it back. He says, you've already drank one. And I says, okay, I'll pay for that one, and can I exchange the other ones?

It cost me six pounds. so he's upset because he drank one yeah then he was about to crack open the next and said it says zero alcohol and now he's pissed and he wants the police involved and could you do the same thing on the reverse could you chug a bottle of actual booze and then be like oopsies i need a refund i thought i was buying the alcohol free stuff and then you can drink for free you know what i thought was ridiculous too was i tried to buy i actually intentionally bought zero proof alcohol at trader joe's and they would not sell it to me because i didn't have id what and i was like what are we what are we doing here and they're like yeah sorry we are still required to ask for id and i was like

this is this is unbelievable what did you have your kid with you um yes i think i did like you if you have enough things that prove you're probably above the age of 21 not that you can't have a kid under the age of 21 but if you have enough things that would indicate and you're buying alcohol free by choice that's like a responsible decision that's a decision that only adults make yeah exactly so the fact that he was like no you need to go put it back on the shelf so just a warning we've done this before but again as we are getting closer and closer to the endless summer kegger and that keg will have full alcohol and i know there's less less and less people drinking these days and i think that they're even talking about making the alcohol

warning stronger because they haven't been strong enough to let people know just how terrible it is for you if you want booze and if you want to drink and if you want to throw back a few you should not be confused and make the same mistake that people are now making more and more and double check and i would say you know they always say um think before you drive or think before you drink or whatever then we need to go think before you buy the drinks to make sure that you're actually reading the labels probably we need a good psa good psa so there you have it just words of wisdom don't be like this guy they called 9-1-1 when you buy your alcohol that has no alcohol we are Klein Alley Show. We have tons...

Well, you hear that? That's alcohol. That's gurgling up in my throat. That's the gin, the real gin. That's real stuff right there, huh? That's 80 proof, baby. I paid for that. More show next. K-Rock Klein Alley Show. It's Friday. Congratulations. You made it through another week. Of course, thanks for slogging with us.

As always, you are a slogger and any new sloggers are OG sloggers. We welcome all of you. Let's give away some tickets now to our Endless Summer Kegger. This is happening next Thursday. It's happening in Newport at the Back Bay Amphitheater at the Hyatt Regency.

It's going to be a good time. We've got Slightly Stupid. We're going to have a dunk tank. We did get that confirmed. We're going to put Jake in the dunk tank. And we're going to try and give Jake a bath. If you can hit that little button, he'll actually bathe. I think we're going to put some soap in there.

Maybe a little bit of Dial or Dove. And get him a nice squeegee little bath going on. We also have... Come on, I think we all want it. We've also got some poker tables, and people were asking about the gender reveal. I know we have not done that, and we said we were going to do it. We were going to get a helicopter, and then Johnny backed out on the helicopter thing. We were trying to get me in the helicopter.

There were all these rules around the helicopter. The helicopter was going to be expensive. Believe me, there was a lot of back and forth about the helicopter. So we're pivoting a little bit, but the gender reveal will happen at the Endless Summer Kegger. So it's even more reason to show up if you care. If you don't, that's fine. And now let's give away some tickets to it with Johnny Doesn't Know. Whoa, that's not Johnny Doesn't Know.

Wait, I like that one. We could try that one. This is Wolves of Glendale. You want to hear it? Oh, yeah, go ahead. And we learned in the Jason Report that they're playing tonight, aren't they not? Look at this. Licorice pizza.

It's true. All right. Here's the real intro. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in Fata for like a while. Johnny doesn't know.

Johnny doesn't know. Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes, wiggles. Johnny is the lovable idiot of the show. There's a lot of things that he doesn't know. Of course, we learned this when we found out he didn't know what a stamp was.

and the fact that he thought San Diego was not in California. So if you, I'm going to ask Johnny some questions. You don't even have to answer the questions. All you have to do is guess whether Johnny will know or not, and we're going to start with Kat from Cyprus. Hello, Kat. Welcome to the show. Thanks. Hi. Okay, I'm going to start with this question, Johnny.

Since you talked about going on a train. Yeah. Never been on a train before. Nope. I know you've watched Thomas the Train. I've watched Thomas, and I've been on the train at Disney, But I don't think that counts, though. Now, my question for you is, what is the end of a train called?

Kat, do you think Johnny will know this? Yes or no? No. Okay. All right. Johnny is, Kat is saying no, Johnny will not know what they call the end of a train. Johnny, what do you think it is? When you say the end, do you mean like the physical train or like the last car in the train?

The physical end or the physical end? Is that what you're... Are you asking what's the end of the physical train, like the locomotive, or what is the name of the last car in the line of a train? The end of the train. The end of the train. What's the end of the train called? You mean caboose? Caboose?

Is that your answer? Damn. Yeah, caboose. Caboose. Caboose is correct. Caboose, is that what you mean? Yes, it is the caboose. I guess you did learn that from Thomas the Train.

I'm sorry, Kat. I thought you were going to say- Johnny knew that one. Yeah, bumpers or the end rail and stuff. I was like, God damn, what is she trying to get me? I can't believe you got tripped up on that. Yeah, I did, yeah. Pretty simple.

The front and the back. The caboose. All right, now let's go to, let's see, Sean in L.A. Hello, Sean. Good morning. Good morning. Johnny, I think maybe you've been asked this question before, but it doesn't mean that you will know it any more than you did last time.

At what temperature does water boil? It's been very hot out. Of course, everyone's trying to fry an egg on the sidewalk. At what temperature does water boil? Sean, do you think Johnny will know this one? no chance no chance all right no chance johnny uh i was gonna say 46 but you could still survive if it's 46 degrees outside that's not very cold inside of my freezer i know it goes negative 12 and that's like pretty cold so i'm gonna say like negative 12 you're aware i'm asking you

at what point water boils oh boils damn whoa i definitely wasn't listening Wow. Okay. It's like 40. Yeah. Boils. Let's go. What was going to be your answer for freezing?

I was going to say negative 12 degrees. See? Okay. Got it. Damn. What does, how hot is it yet? Let's go 125 degrees Fahrenheit. 125.

Just a ballpark? Yeah. Yeah. No idea. 125 degrees Fahrenheit. All right. Sean, you're on the board. Congratulations.

You're right, Johnny, did not know that question. And I have asked you this before. 212 degrees. Damn. Yeah, pretty hot. That'll kill you. Well, you're done, son. I mean, if you get boiled water poured on top, that's how that Starbucks lawsuit happened.

That woman won millions of dollars. That's how hot the dunk tank's going to be. Yeah, we're going to make it boiling water. Boil Jake. Let's cook him. Boil Jake alive like a lobster. All right, question. Let's go to contestant number three.

Let's talk to Brad in Fountain Valley. Welcome to the show, Brad. Sweet dibbits. How's it going? Sweet dibbits. We're pulling through. Thanks for hanging out with us. And here is your question, Johnny.

What is it called when land is surrounded on three sides by water? When land is surrounded on three sides. Okay. You're saying, Brad, you're saying he will not know this one. No chance. Okay. Not a lot of faith in Johnny today. Well, this is like a tough National Geographic type of question right here.

Vanessa's struggling with those sound effects hey just give it up Shadi don't touch the buttons are you playing clown circus music I was trying to get the bed underneath I have not been able to find it it's okay just keep trying whatever you find go ahead and play it

land surrounded by water when it's surrounded on all sides it would be America we're surrounded by water on both sides that's two sides like Hawaii is a Oh, it's surrounded by everything. It's an island.

It's an island. Island, yes. So when it's only surrounded by three sides of water. Whoa. What country is surrounded by three sides of water? Not what country, just what is it called? Oh, what is it called? Yeah.

All sides would be an island. So three sides would be? A country. There you go. Is that the answer? No, not at all. Damn, this one's tough. This one's really tough.

An embankment. Embankment. That word just came to mind, huh? Yeah. Yeah, sounds fancy. Yeah. Not correct. Brad, you're on the board as well.

Congratulations. Have you heard of the word peninsula? Oh, yes. Yes, I have, and I immediately forgot it. Okay. Peninsula. All right. Now we go to Lisa.

Hello, Lisa. Hello. Okay. Johnny has been striking out so far, but maybe he will know this one. How long does it take Earth to orbit around the sun? We did have a bit of an eclipse last night, so I thought I would ask a planetary question here. How long does it take Earth to orbit around the sun? Do you think Johnny will know the answer to this one, Lisa?

Oh, wow. Okay. Yes. Okay. I'm going to give him a chance. I'm going to give Johnny a chance. You're going to give Johnny a chance. Come on, Johnny.

I'm going to say 365 days. Boom! Boom! Lisa, hell yeah. You know hers. Come on, I do. I've been here for a while. All right.

Hell yeah. Lisa's in the running as well. Now we go to our final question. Nice. And our final caller. Hello, Keith and NoHo. What's up? Hey, how are you guys?

Doing just fine. Here's Johnny's final question. What two-dimensional shape has six sides? Six sides. Do you think that Johnny will know the answer to this one, Keith? I'm going to say Johnny does not know. Okay, Keith is saying that he will not know. Damn.

Sometimes Johnny will surprise us and know things that you really didn't think in a million years he would know. Well. Basic things like a peninsula he has no idea even exists. No, well, you tried mixing me up right there when you said, what two-dimensional shape? And immediately I thought of, like, a GameCube because I was like, oh, man, that's like 3D. But then I immediately thought of the Pentagon, which is five sides. Remember in Call of Duty Black Ops, zombies? Yep.

Pentagon had five sides. The sixth side was a hexagon There you go, Johnny Look at that Nice job Sorry, Keith All right, so we have Sean, Brad, and Lisa All got theirs correct

Can we give all three of them tickets? I could do that Let's do that Let's do it, huh? Let's do it It's Friday Congratulations to Sean, Brad, and Lisa You're all going to the Endless Summer Kager

And thanks for hanging out with us That is your reward We also have some other tickets coming up for Weezer It's part of our KROQ Road Trip USA More show coming up soon Got more ADD news to get to. We've got that show quiz. So if you've been listening to the show and taking some notes,

there's more opportunities to win tickets to our endless summer kegger. We'll also get to a clickbait later in the show. We're going to be talking to a wildlife expert. More on the way here at KROQ. 106.7 KROQ. We are a Klein Alley show. If you need us, there's a text line. There's a GOAT line.

There's lots of lines except for lines. And there's bathroom lines too, actually. We have that for you as well. 800-520-1067. Call, text, or find us on the GOAT line. 844-956-GOAT with whatever's on your mind. You know, I found out that I am wanted

in yet another state for a ticket violation. Let's be honest, you're not wanted in any state, including right here in California. Excuse me, California wants me and so does Colorado. Hold on, you got a speeding ticket, you were going almost close to 100, right? 90 something?

This, that was in California. That was on my way to work. I was going 30, no, I was going 60, nine and a 35? Oh, that's right. The hilarious 69 number. Yeah. Which, by the way... 67, I can't remember. If you're exactly 69,

they should just write you... I'll give you a warning for being funny. Whatever the number is where they can actually tell you you can't go to traffic school to fix it. However, I do have an update on that. And the guy, didn't he say, I could take your car if I wanted to? Yeah. You're going fast enough. He can arrest me. Right. If I chose to arrest you and take your car,

I can. And that varies, I think, state by state, because I don't know what the number is of how much faster you have to be going over to do that. Like, there's certain numbers where they go. I know anything over 25 miles over the speed limit is, like, a big problem, and I was going 29 miles over the speed limit. And they argue that anything, I mean, this is what they try to tell you, even going one mile over the speed limit means you've,

but we all agree there's a 10-mile buffer zone that usually you're in the clear, and if they're going to be dicks, they'll pull you over, give you a ticket for going 11 miles over. Well, and this cop, this motorcycle cop, is a notorious dick. everyone knows about this guy he's on highland he's there in the morning he's always pulling people over he loves it it's a power trip okay and yes i was speeding but i was also speeding through a light to make the light and we all know how those coordinated lights on highland can be however i uh got this group called f your ticket to fight for my ticket and they gave me an update

recently and said that they went to court for me and the officer never filed the ticket so my case as of now the guy has a year to file it and if he doesn't i'm off the hook baby is this the um this is the cop by us here yeah they gave you the ticket knowing that cop just because what a dick he is he's gonna wait until like the 364th day he strikes me as the type of guy that is very calculated even in the way he hides out and he's in that same spot every day as people are just trying to get to work he is going to give you the feeling of i'm go i'm clean and then you're going to get something in the mail it's going to say you didn't show up i i mean i'm telling you i believe that you're going to be toast on this one but just as that good news came in i got

something else in the mail well i didn't get it my mother technically did and it was a picture of me driving her car and apparently i was abusing the carpool lane not necessarily the carpool lane the at the toll booth lane. How do you abuse that lane? Well, because I guess there's rules there around when there's double lines, you're not supposed to cross them, apparently. Oh, right, right, right,

because they don't want to have accidents by the toll booth like that guy we had in from Bob's Burgers that crashed his car and almost lit on fire in the toll booth. Yeah, so I was going in and out of the toll booth lane because I wanted to skip this because there was so much traffic,

so I was just kind of bobbing and weaving. And I think they put signs as you are heading into toll plazas that usually say no lane change. It's pretty obvious you're not supposed to change lanes, even though everyone wants to go to the fastest line. Of course. But this wasn't even going through a toll booth.

It was just regular freeway. And I'm going in and out and thinking I was fine, but apparently there's a bunch of cameras in Colorado that can catch you in the act. So now she... So she got a ticket in the mail of you driving her car. Yes. And she was like, thanks a lot.

This is the worst I've ever looked. Oh, it's my daughter. So I have to Venmo her $75 to pay. That was the charge? That was the charge, $75. I mean, couldn't you fight that one as well? I should get off your ticket again. I wonder if they work in Colorado.

Keep fighting. Just keep on fighting. And then meanwhile, I've gotten my third or fourth notice in Germany. Because of the Autobahn. Because not even the Autobahn. I was off the freeway. I was making some kind of, I guess you can't change lanes too late before a light. And I changed lanes to like last minute because all of a sudden my GPS rerouted me.

And apparently that's not okay in Germany. So they are now after me. but they send me these letters that are more and more aggressive in bigger and bigger font and bolder and bolder print and just with a bunch of German in it that I can't read. That's already an aggressive enough language as is. I know. I don't think you need to bold that.

Even the initial notice looked so scary. That was just a welcome to Germany. But I've chosen with that route to just do the ignore. Yeah, I think that I have accepted the fact, and I don't know if you're going to probably say this is stupid and maybe it comes back to bite me in the ass long term. I no longer pay parking meters at all. Oh, you've gotten away from it.

You always kind of invented your own rules. Every once in a while, though, I would go, I'll feed this meter. I just now have decided that over the course of my driving career, I will probably, let's call it, I get a ticket once every 20 times, maybe. And of those tickets, how many of them do they actually come back to get me? I'm just not going to pay meters anymore and just assume that if I get busted one time, that's going to cover all of the... I think of all of the times I'm putting in a credit card now, $5 for parking, $5 for parking, $5 for parking. Well, and it's more expensive than ever. Right.

Like a quarter doesn't get you anything anymore. Right, nothing. So I just go, I'm not even going to think about it. I'm just going to pull in, take the spot and leave. Hope I come back with no ticket. It's a great feeling. Still one of the greatest feelings you can have in your life. You're like, I beat the system.

When you go back and you know your meter is expired, you didn't pay the meter and there's no ticket, it is a great feeling. It is almost worth it. And, yes, I hate getting the ticket, but the feeling of not getting a ticket when I should have is so much better. But you must know the areas where there's a lot. Like around here, you can't do that because there's a bunch of parking meter maids everywhere. But in certain areas, you can tell that they're unmanned. But lately, I've been doing a lot of stuff up and down Ventura Boulevard. And that's one of those ones where I just think to myself, I could get nabbed, but also I feel pretty good about this.

And I'm on, like, a nice streak right now that I want to ruin where I've kind of been, like, probably 10 to 12 meters in a row I haven't put a dollar into and I haven't gotten a ticket. Or you could use my method where every meter is broken once you break it. That's a good theory. It's K-Rock. We're Klein Alley Show. Good morning. It's K-Rock. It's Klein Alley Show.

We're just five minutes away from those tickets to see Weezer at Crypto.com Arena on October 24th. And it'll be the final spot on the standby boarding list for a shot to see them again in Boston. And you win that signed guitar. So be listening, get those fingers and thumbs ready, and it is now time for ADD News. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. City council meetings are usually a safe space for people to complain about neighbors and potholes and to speak up about causes that don't matter to them. Like when I went to a city council meeting to preach about free gas or free air at gas stations.

But this person at an L.A. city council meeting has proposed something dumb or genius, you decide. Sex huts. A place for the public to go and relieve their sexual needs free of charge. Oh, no. And with privacy. How long would it take for these to get absolutely disgusting and covered in jizz? This was introduced by a man named Tracy. Of course it was a man.

Of course. Yep. Oh, and it's funny because I saw it was Tracy. I was like, wow, a woman. Oh, it's a guy named Tracy. Guys named Tracy definitely slay, though, I'm sure. His proposal is for these little huts to be placed around the city to help, quote, free hygienic sexual relief, whether that means self-pleasuring or consensual sex with a partner. So if people like Klein, who have to self-pleasure multiple times a day, don't have a place to do that, like their car, they can go find a sex hut nearby. If these were placed in West Hollywood, I'm sure they would be used all the time. But I think when you're having unexpected sex, which is kind of what these are for, half the fun is finding a place to have sex, right? Going to the backseat of a car. Vanessa knows about that one. I don't know about that. What? Maybe finding a bathroom, a public bathroom and trying to be discreet or hanging out between two cars.

Those are the places that are exciting. If you have to just wait in line and go to a sex hut. There's a line. I mean, if it's if you find a sex hut, it's being used. Do you wait for the sex hut to open up? Do you want to be the one you don't want to be the one who goes into the bathroom after somebody just destroyed in there? You want to really go into a sex hut after someone just finished in there, knowing that there's weird, sticky sex smell from the previous people? Or if it's just one guy who walks out, you're like, hey, what's up, man?

Like, you know exactly what should happen in there. I'm not touching anybody. So I don't think that'll get passed, but I like anyone with a cause. It's easier and easier to get scammed these days, whether it's through text or by phone or in person. They don't care. They'll scam you any way they can. This guy has just been arrested because he was pulling a romance scam on several women by pretending to be a player on the 49ers.

He's accused of posing as a Niners player and as a wealthy real estate investor. And he successfully built romances with more than two dozen women before scamming them out of $1.3 million across four different states. He even had an accomplice who would act as his financial advisor, which is very smart. You have a financial advisor. Hey, I'm going to help you out. Hey, by the way, his finances are tied up in this right now, but I could probably free some up here. Sound professional. And once he's developed a physical in-person relationship with these people, they trust him and he scams them for money. Wait, wait, he made a physical connection? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think it was online mainly,

but I know that it was across four different states, and I imagine some of them, you know, he has pictures of him, like, in 49er stuff, in really nice cars. I don't know how much of it is purely physical. Like, I don't know how much was physical interaction, but I know that he was able to get pretty far with these women.

Wow. And, I mean, posing as an NFL player, I feel like a lot of girls would be like, yeah, I'm dating an NFL player. Yeah, I still feel like it would be an easy Google search to figure out if he was a foreigner. Exactly. Who are these girls? Yeah, but you could also say, oh, maybe I'm not a starter. I always wear the helmet.

Yeah, but do you think that they're really going to do that deep of a dive and find out the entire Niners roster? They should. I don't even know if half the people I know would know how to look that up. The website. No, I can't look it up. I'll just give you a million dollars. Forget it. I don't want to Google.

You could ask ChatJBT. That would probably get you out of a lot of romance scams. And then finally, we already have our official color of the year for 2027. The seasons are moving much faster this year. There are Halloween decorations and candy everywhere. Holiday festivities are already going to start earlier this year. And there's already an official color for 2027. It is called Grounded.

It's basically puke green. It's a mix between moss and olive, tempered by brown undertones. So you know it's going to be a good year when the official color is puke and diarrhea mixed together. But we're all in it together. It's K-Rock. It's Klein Alley. This is the world famous K-Rock. K-Rock, Klein Alley Show.

Now's the time. Pick up the phone. I know it's scary to do anything more than text on your phone. But it is 800-520-1067 to win tickets to Weezer at Crypto. That'll be on October 24th. But if you are caller 20 right now, we will also place you on the standby boarding list for a shot to see them again in Boston. And you'll win a signed guitar.

It does just say signed. It doesn't say by who. I would assume that means Weezer. But they're not going to sign it. I guess we'll sign it for you. They signed it. I saw the guitar. Oh, they did?

It's actually pretty sick. Really? Yeah, it's a vendor squad. It's in the building? Is it in the building, or they just sent a picture? Yeah, it's in the building, actually. I saw it. It's cool.

Get it in here. I want to see it. Oh, it's locked in the office. Oh, man, they lock it up. They know we'll rob them. I know that... I was going to take it home. I was going to sell it on eBay.

Get a lot of questions on the goat line. We have to clear it out before the weekend hits because the goat line fills up very quickly. And somebody had a question for me and my marriage. And this is a question I get a lot When it comes to lesbianists, one of the most frequently asked questions is, who is the man in the relationship? And I could be offended by that, but it is true.

I mean, there's always a man in the relationship. Hey, guys. So I just had the funniest revelation, and I had to call you guys to tell you. So you know the whole, like, in a lesbian relationship, you know, which one's the guy? I know that's outdated, but, like, come on. I know people still think that way sometimes. And I always kind of thought of Allie and Katie as, like, eh, I don't know. like neither neither one sticks out to me from what i know ali kind of erin's points in the guy

category because of the gross off but she also carries the children katie kind of you know gives me some dude energy because she's so lazy about claiming sorry katie right and then when i heard ali say that she like bulk buys me and like packages them i do that too but i was like okay like that settles it ali's the woman in the relationship because the man would literally never do that so i don't know what does that say about me that carrying a child doesn't seem as feminine as like packaging meat i guess the fact that i buy in bulk and package my meat budgeted out throughout the week makes me the woman in the relationship but if you've really paid attention you would know that i am the man and the woman and that katie is the fun big sister

the one with no responsibility who actually she's more like the fun little sister who doesn't really get much of the responsibility if it gets to take advantage of all this. Oh, that makes sense. You're making it a lot more relative again. Exactly, yeah.

You know what? I stand by what I've said. A lot of people were criticizing me yesterday because I said having sex with your cousin is fine. I'm not saying I promote it necessarily.

That's not who you are. But years and years and years ago, somebody had to have sex with a cousin or a brother or a sister in order to populate this planet.

So don't poo-poo what brought you into existence. All right, let's say hello. Let's move off the topic of incest and go to Andrew in Linwood. Hi, Andrew. What's up? Hi.

Hi, good morning. You are caller 20, Andrew, which means you're going to see Weezer at Crypto. Congratulations. Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's so cool. You are also going to be placed on the standby boarding list. You're the final name, Andrew, on this standby boarding list

to see them again in Boston and win that signed guitar. That would be pretty brag worthy. Don't sell it, though. I would keep it. Definitely show it off in your place uh so we're gonna announce that winner on monday congratulations thank you you're welcome thank you for tuning in and sticking with us today and there's another opportunity to win a spot at our summer kegger our endless summer kegger you can answer questions about today's show there's going to be a few questions so if you can answer them we got more

tickets coming up it's k-rock we are klein alley show on a friday morning which normally would be a very good thing although it's about to become a very bad thing for one of us because the box of shame hides no secrets no and sadly if it's our story that gets pulled out of the box of shame we will have to share with the masses something we did that was probably humiliating embarrassing definitely shameful why do we keep like why are we never out of secrets i think we stopped for a while and that was a good time and then i think people were asking where is the box of shame and some people said hey first thing i ever heard about your show that i liked was the box of shame and then we got very easily

peer pressured back into it and then that went into like a three month stretch of every story was just something I did and I and then you guys told me that you pulled

all of the other stories out of there so you it was really messed up you basically went through and every story in there was a Klein story yeah I know

there was a good stretch there where where was you but who knows what's gonna happen alright let me get the box inside of this box right here is all of our deepest

darkest most shameful secrets it's time for one of us to come clean this is your box of shame the box of shame shame this person shame shame does not appear to be me thank god claims that oh this is so messed up i'm so glad this isn't me purposely shut the elevator door on a handicapped person.

Wow. Interesting. I'm surprised this isn't you. This is definitely Omar. You've done weird stuff in an elevator before. No, no, I hold, I'm a big door holder guy. So they can go in there as soon as you farted? Yeah, I like to fart and force them to come in here.

I'm not saying come on in. Welcome to the fart box. No, it was not me. I'm not above closing the door on one of those wheelchair people. If the wheelchair takes forever, you know which ones I'm talking about? The ones that are battery operated and you have to operate it with their mouth?

I know exactly what you're talking about, Omar, because that's what I did. You did it. Oh, it was you, Allie? Of course it was you. Wow, that's so messed up. Well, it wasn't one of the blowy ones. That is so messed up. You didn't hold the door for a handicapped person?

Look, I had an ultrasound and I was late for it. And you know that these places can get real full. It's hard to move around. There's a lot of people that are going in and out trying to make their appointments. there were eight elevators that were going up and i pressed the button i was waiting waiting nobody was there the elevator opened i went in i pressed the third floor and it started to close just barely and this old old old lady with a wheelchair and an attendant helping her you know it's like one of those really slow how slow could it be this was a wheelchair unlike anything i've

ever seen klein it was like a wheelchair where you can also be laying down it's like a wheelchair slash hospital bed type thing. Gurney? Stretcher? It was like half and half. Are you sure this person wasn't dying? Yeah, this person needed that elevator to save their life. Yeah, no kidding.

There was some oxygen involved. Every second counts, and Allie's like, take the stairs. And I thought to myself, if I open this, if I press door open, this is going to take so much longer. What is it going to, honestly? And then if I let the doors close, there's going to be another elevator open like any second. If you had held the door for this person that clearly was fighting for their life, it would

have slowed you down by maybe 30 seconds even if they had gotten in and pushed a bunch of buttons like a child well they were they couldn't do anything they couldn't push buttons so i don't understand i know it is frustrating when you hold the i get the feeling holding the elevator for someone and then they come in and they push like a floor before yours and then they go oops wait it's not 11 it's 12 and then they push another one in it was going to be a whole backup situation so what did you do did you mash the door close button i just watched it close did you make eye contact with the person? There was eye contact. With the helper and the person?

There was eye contact with both, yes. With both? The helper and the person? But you know what I did? I did that fake, oh, don't, don't. Oh, yeah, I've done that. I can't get it. I did my best. And then put my hands together like, sorry.

It's the best when you go through that whole acting thing and then somehow they push the button and it opens and you're right here. And then you clearly push nothing. And you're right there. and they see that you've been acting on the wrong side of the elevator with no buttons? I do feel bad, but I would have been...

There's like a 15-minute window. I was almost at the window. And then what would have happened? You would have had to go back? They would have put me at the bottom of the line. Right. I would have been sitting there forever. That's pretty shameful right there.

I would have been in a wheelchair by the time I got out of there. A poor person, an elderly person in a wheelchair just trying to get in that elevator. Allie had somewhere to be. White privilege. And just decided she's going to let the... It's leg privilege. I had legs. You let the elevator door close on this person.

Not on the person. I just didn't let them in. Snap this poor lady in half. They got where they needed to go. All right. Well, that's out of the box of shame for now. We'll never speak of it again, but just hope that you're not trying to get an elevator near Allie, because she will let you rot and die in the lobby.

Just talk to it. We are Klein Allie Show. This is K-Rock, trying to be good people and failing on a daily basis. It's Friday. It's K-Rock. It's Klein Allie Show. Kevin Klein out today, but it's me, Allie. Here with you, pregnant, tired, but here with Vanessa, Jake the Nerd, and Postmaster Johnny.

Omar's also out, but we will all be back together again on Monday. And as Klein likes to say, the Internet was invented for two reasons and two reasons only, clickbait and masturbate. We can only do one of them on the radio, so it is time for clickbait. Here we go. Oh, I wanted to get another one from Vanessa. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Thanks, all. All right, this is the biggest red flag wedding photographers see that can predict divorce. Wedding photographers see a lot. They go to weddings. They're photographing couples all day long, many, many times a year. Wedding season is here, already kicked off, and it's going to go strong through the end of the year. Probably into March, I'd say. I don't think there even is a wedding season anymore

I think it's just always It's all year But what is the number one red flag For wedding photographers Vanessa we'll start with you Perfect because I think this one would be taken When the husband doesn't smile with teeth So you think it's about the husband's smile

With teeth I don't think a lot of guys know how to smile properly Anyway Most guys I know don't smile with teeth at all Yeah you look hard dude Yeah, we just give a grin, and then maybe the occasional, like, thumbs up. Yeah. Maybe.

I feel like hardly ever men smile with teeth. And then, have you ever noticed when Klein smiles with teeth? It's terrifying. He gets mad at me every time I post a photo of him smiling. He's like, Johnny, not good. Because he doesn't know how to do it. I'm like, bro, that's your face. What do you mean?

He hasn't figured it out. All right. Vanessa's going, smiling with teeth. Johnny, what do you say? I'm going to say the over-invasive mother-in-law. If that mother-in-law is like, hey, turn off that computer. Oh, interesting. I'm sorry.

Yeah, the helicopter mom. Yeah, she's way too much in the Kool-Aid, and she's like, as if she's getting married, then that's a sure sign that that marriage isn't going to last. Yeah, if that were true, then I would probably be divorced by now, because my mother is extremely, extremely involved all the time. All the time. And it's something we talk about in our house many, many times as well. It's something that comes up regularly, but we're still married so far.

All right, Jake, what do you say? All I can think of is that, you know that scene in Jerry Maguire when he's getting married, and he's on video and he's just stressed out and sweating the whole time i'm gonna say that like a sweaty groom yeah sweaty groom because it shows that he's stressed out and not really wanting to get married all right jake says jake predictably says the sweaty guy though you would probably regardless be a sweaty mess would you not yeah but that's in the pits that's hidden not like visibly in my face face sweat is a different anxiety than pit sweat oh yeah yeah uh well you're all wrong unfortunately but this one is actually something that i think happens a lot and

even happens to couples that i know that have gotten married and are still married but the groom drinking too much a common red flag that wedding photographers notice is when grooms start to rely too much on alcohol to get through the wedding if they're having a little bit too much fun they feel like they need to drink their way through it then that is a red flag and the next one was a groom that does not turn their feet toward their bride so it's kind of similar to what you said vanessa but it's all about the body language not necessarily the face all right we got time for one more all right this is the best country to survive the end of the world according to a new study

i know the end of the world feels closer than ever we have earthquakes that are devastating We have flash floods, got many hurricanes. El Nino is supposed to be record bad this year. But what do you think? We'll start with you, Jake. What do you think the best country is to survive the end of the world? I feel like you've done research on this. I have, actually, yes.

One, it has to be a northern country or far south, somewhere near like the poles because it's going to be warm. Normally, the end of the world is going to be a heat thing. It's also rising sea levels. It has to have elevation. The best country is Norway. They also have the apocalyptic Seed Vault there. Damn. What the hell?

You're really bad about this. I love it. My pick is whatever country Jake's not going to. That's where I'm going to go at the end of the world. All right. Interesting. So you have different countries based on what the travesty is? Yeah.

And Norway has all three of those things, plus the Seed Vault. That's like a global thing. Right. Everyone knows about the Seed Vault. All right. Johnny, what do you think? Damn. I don't know how many countries you can name.

Did you know Norway was a country? Well, after Jake's answer, my answer sounds stupid. Don't worry. It probably would have sounded that way before anyway. California. I was going to choose Dagestan. What? You've never heard of Dagestan?

No. Where is that country? That's like one of the toughest countries in the world. It's where Hezbollah came from. Jake, can you verify that country? Why do you randomly know about that country? Because Dagestan's where Hezbollah came from. And they look like a bare knuckles brawl, like very manly, like ugh.

So you're just going with the toughest country you can think of. Yeah, because, like, at the end of the world, it's not going to be, like, in Venezuela, where everybody's going to run to and stuff, or, like, Colombia. They're going to all go to somewhere. You think everyone's going to run to the two countries that had major earthquakes in the last month or so? Yeah, like, Hezbollah's from Lebanon. No, but Dagestan, do you know what Dagestan is? It's, like, where they fight and they train. Train dogs?

No, not dogs. Anyways, Dagestan's a real country, people. Dagestan, spell it. Dagestan. There you go. That's the Spanish spelling. All right, Vanessa, what do you say? You can't use Dagestan

It's taken already I'm going with Brazil For the Amazon Because I'll have food resources I'll go in the jungle I'll become a jungle girl Yeah but isn't the Amazon pretty dangerous? I just said that in my example too

I was like nobody's going to Venezuela or Colombia I said Brazil Brazil's just like that though No it's not Because I'm going to become a tough girl I'm going to eat the animals in the Amazon Oh okay so you think there's more food there I can shelter myself with the leaves.

I'm going to become a person of the island. Vanessa, you're small. They're going to eat you, bro. I would love to see Survivor, Vanessa. You're all wrong again. It is Australia. Apparently, because it's an island, it can more easily shut itself off and isolate itself. And the country's food production, the mining sector, the industry, the wealth, and the relative political stability makes it one of the most reliable countries when you are in an apocalyptic end-of-world situation.

But the other drawback, I guess, is if one person gets some kind of a plague, you're all gone. You're all dead. So I guess it's a high risk, but then it's, I guess, a higher probability that you're all going to be fine because you're away from the biggest threat that is killing everyone. If there's a robot takeover, maybe the robots can't swim and get over to Australia. There's your clickbait. Still more opportunities to win tickets to our endless summer kegger. Next hour, we've got the show quiz. If you've been listening, if you've been taking notes, I know it's been kind of a weird one today.

You've heard Klein, you haven't heard Klein, you've heard us, and then you haven't heard us. So, if you're taking notes, if you're keeping track, your opportunity to win next hour, Klein Alley Show. And now joining us on KROQ, someone that can speak about this a lot more intelligently than we can. His name is Cort Klopping, and he works for the California Department of Fish and Wildlife. Cort, let me start by asking you, did I say your name correctly? You did. You are spot on. Wow, that never happens around here. That's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But seriously, are we crazy now, or does it feel like we are now being inundated and attacked by this wildlife on a more regular basis than ever before?

There's been a pretty significant spike in activity, which is standard for this time of year, but the heat has exacerbated that quite a bit. So we are seeing wildlife coming a little further into populated areas in search of resources like water, calories, or food, or even shelter. Now, do you think there's any possibility that these animals are conspiring to do a full-on animal takeover? I mean, I think it's just a matter of time, right, before they all band together and decide these humans are idiots, we could beat them easily. You know, I've seen hoppers. It was a great premise, but I don't think that that's what's happening right now. Well, because, you know, look, every year we get a couple of bears in the back of a swimming pool. If those go viral, we love that. There's obviously the coyotes.

They're cruising through the neighborhoods. That happens regularly. This year there's been a lot more, it feels at least for us, a lot more rattlesnake bites than ever before. And since it has been getting just brutally hot, hot, hot here, I have noticed it almost is like we're all kind of getting grumpy and ornery as humans. Are animals the same way? Well, yeah, it's a stressor. When you're uncomfortable and it's tougher to find resources like food and water or even shade, it could definitely make you a little bit more uncomfortable and cranky.

That's certainly something. And then, you know, there's something to be said about hunger and thirst, and they are driving factors in why we're seeing them coming closer to populated areas. What the hell are the coyotes doing during the day? Are they just kind of finding a shady tree and napping until the sun goes down so that they can ransack everyone's trash cans? yeah i you know managing their their energy uh during the day it's a lot tougher to be out and about during the peak heat and direct sunlight it's not as good for hunting for their prey either

coyotes are kind of just taking it easy during the day for the most part but we do see some activity during the day as well yeah like i see them during the day and people always tell me i don't know if there's a rumor they go like oh if you see one during the day it's not right in the head or it's got rabies or it's acid or something are the ones that are out during the day now just super desperate or are they overachievers yeah are they like jet lagged or something they don't understand what's going on well they may be just hungry you know maybe they're foraging the night before didn't pan out and they're still looking for those calories that they really need to be sustaining themselves what is the biggest threat is it the bears because you always hear about the

bears going into a swimming pool and it's cute but i mean a bear unless you're around it's cubs and stuff is not that big of a threat i know it is and they're there by the way i've seen a lot of videos this year. They just want to eat their food and swim in their pools. Bears know how to open doors now. They have learned how to open doors. So what? They're just there to get some Cheez-Its. But the point is now, that was the one thing that separated us from the animals, right? Thumbs and doors.

And now they figured out how doors work, right? That has been occurring a lot more recently. And it's more car doors with the handles that they're able to maneuver. So it's auto-present handles. Yeah. They just show them right to you. Right. If you get right through, you get near the car and all of a sudden the car wants to be fancy. It's like, come on in.

Shoots out the handle, door. And then I saw the other day, I'm sure you've seen these too, a guy went to get in his car, and there was a bear just napping in the backseat of the car. Cute. I haven't seen that one. But, you know, a car's backseat is probably a bit more comfortable than some natural ground outside. What often happens here is these bears are smelling what we call attractive. So it would be some kind of a form of calories, some kind of food.

And they've become accustomed and they've learned that getting into these cars or residences provides them with some kind of a food reward they'll come around for fallen fruit they'll come around for garbage that's unsecured they'll come around for even something as simple as not cleaning off your grill after each use that could produce a smell that's going to be really attractive yeah there's rats in her grill because she doesn't clean it up properly i clean it but i don't do like a detailed type clean every single time but i mean as far as risk to humans well the ones that are going to attack us probably like mountain lions and rattlesnakes right uh well it's pretty uncommon for actual attacks to occur but it does become much more common when these

animals become what we refer to as habituated so that means becoming more comfortable being around humans no longer associating with humans with danger but in turn associating them with some kind of a food reward or safety if people are kind of going about their day acting like These are domesticated animals, throwing them food scraps, things like that. That's going to really cause wildlife to become more habituated, really starts to erode that natural, healthy fear that animals have of people, that wildlife has to people. We need to get more crossbows as humans.

We need to be scarier. We don't have enough crossbows, and I think that that is the international sign of back away, stay away. Right, but other people are just putting food bowls out and being like, here you go, coyotes. And, Court, you want to let us know, by the way, this is Court Klopping on with us, the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, that feeding wildlife is actually illegal, correct? It is illegal because it constitutes a very big issue with that habituation that I just mentioned. So the more inclined animals are, the more rewarded they are for coming around people, the more comfortable they're going to become, and the more likelihood there is going to be for conflict.

So that's what we're really trying to educate the public about is that you don't want to feed these animals. You don't want to interact with them. They're wonderful creatures. We want them to be safe. We want us to be safe. And the best thing that we can do is not give them any kind of reward or any kind of, you know, positive interaction when we come across them. So certainly feeding them would be at the top of that list. You don't want them to associate people with sources of food or comfort at all.

what upsets me though is like every once in a while you hear a story about a bear that's all of a sudden made herself very comfortable in a neighborhood and she's picking up things here and she's going to the trash cans and into people's backyards and they pick her up they take her out of the neighborhood and then they euthanize them and it's like well we put the trash out we lured the bear in and then the bear came for the food and then we kill the bear do you agree with that Well, that's not necessarily the response that would happen there. So if it's a nuisance or a no-harm, no-foul bear, which is the type of bear that we're talking about in this instance, what would more likely happen is that bear would be relocated to nearby suitable habitat.

So taking it away from the residential area and back further away from people in the habitat. there are other instances where public safety concerns are are factors and that's where things get a little bit more complicated but the normal response is to get the wildlife back to habitat where it belongs get it away from people so that everyone stays safe so the the responses that are a little bit more in-depth, those would be really rare compared to the average day-to-day responsible biologists would be monitoring animals, advising residents on what they can do to kind of stay safe, or just going out and relocating the animal back to habitat. And as Ali pointed out, it seems like the bears are the most aggressive when there's

babies involved. As a result, I would say we stop letting the bears make babies. Have you thought about doing a product called Berth Control? I haven't, but I feel like you should probably copyright that name. You, court-clopping, has not already thought

of Berth Control? I have not. I'm disappointed in you, court. Thank you for that. Don't say that about him. That's not true. I'm going to take some later today to make sure that I don't procreate. Well, listen, it's been a pleasure. Thank you for the information. We're not going

crazy the wildlife is moving in closer than ever before they're hungry like us they are hot like us they want water they want shelter they want all the things and now they're getting smarter uh please stop feeding the wildlife uh it's not worth it i know you think it's a great viral video that you have coyotes that are sharing a honey-baked ham in your driveway but let's go ahead and uh eventually they're going to not be afraid of us at all and we got to be scarier i do think that instagram has screwed this up yeah instagram has messed this up a lot because I think everyone wants their close encounter. And every time we get close to an animal and we don't hunt them, people, they go, hey, these humans are a bunch of pussies.

We can just move in on their neighborhood. So let's be cool so we can both coexist and then we can make a billion dollars selling birth control. There you go. I think Klein's on the cutting edge of this. If I could just add as well, on top of removing attractants and not interacting with the wildlife, you also need to secure those crawl spaces around your home. Make sure they don't have those spots where they can seek out shelter in populated areas to kind of rest or hide. And then that keeps them moving along. And then also make sure that you're communicating with your neighbors.

Yeah, because of that guy that had that bear living under his place for like months, right? Yeah, if the neighbors should have said, hey, by the way, you cool? You use that Airbnb situation? Airbnb bear? There you go. I thought he said, God damn it, my neighbor is talking to me. Court clapping, a pleasure. Thank you for all you do for the California Department of Fish and Wildlife.

We didn't spend a lot of time talking about fish in this call, but we'll do that next time. Yeah, sounds like a plan. All right. Thanks so much. Appreciate it. Not a problem. So fewer people than ever are using cash these days. Nearly half of people now say that they don't use cash for purchases at all.

But if you do use cash, my advice would be to make sure that it's real cash because there's a scam going around. And this is not a new scam. This is something that's been happening for many, many years. I would say ever since money was invented. It is a fake money scam, not new by any stretch. It's an oldie but a goodie, just fake money. And there's some new fake money circulating, so they're saying, PSA, everybody, watch out. Look at your $100 bills to make sure that they're real.

Take a look here at your screen. We want to show you some of the bills in question. They look like new, normal $100 bills, but here's the thing. If you look closely on the upper right side, you see the words, for motion picture purposes, not legal tender. Police say they recently got a report of someone using money like this at a store. It's not clear which store, and it's not clear if the person actually knew it was fake. Either way, be sure to take an extra look at your cash. Now, that money can be very convincing, especially when it is used for motion picture purposes.

I've definitely been fooled by that before. But I feel like the other point is that we're all not using cash so much so that we forgot what it even looks like. Or feels like. Or feels like. Or smells like. Or smells like. Exactly. And it used to be one of the dirtiest things on the planet, right?

Never touch cash. Cash is dirtier than your cell phone. But now there are so many things that are way dirtier than money because we don't really use money anymore. That's why I stopped using cash since like 2023. It's just dirty as hell. And after I touch it, I'm like, ugh. Yeah, you feel gross. I mean, it did used to be what we snort cocaine with.

I mean, there were so many great uses for. How would you snort that? Well, you just roll it up like a little joint. Oh, like you roll it into like a cigarette thingy? Yeah, yeah. Now people are using, you know, I would imagine cornstarch straws at this point. The plastic straw is also out. Oh, yeah, I carry those all the time.

Yeah, I carry those all the time. But I feel like I probably grabbed Monopoly money and think that it was real at this point. All right, when you got to pee, men have a lot more options than women do. Men have toilets and urinals and bushes and trees and pools and rivers. And really, the world is your pee oyster. But for women, the options are much more limited, which is why, especially at concerts, They've been trying to come up with all kinds of solutions, like the Sheenus, which I've used. It's very messy.

But now we have a new contender, and that would be the Pequil. It's a female version of the urinal. It's made its debut at a couple of festivals now, the Glastonbury Festival, Primavera Sound. But should this be something that we import into the U.S.? I'm standing in front of the Pequils. These are the first ever female urinals at an Irish music festival. They allegedly speed up queue times by being three times faster to use than the conventional urinals. Don't you like that, Nessa?

Oh, fancy toilet. And then the user will squat. Your head will still be visible above the eyeline, but you will be covered from the chest down. Why would I want people to know that I'm peeing? When I go to the bathroom and I close the door, it's like five seconds of like, I don't have to talk to you. I get what you're saying, but in a music festival setting. Just trying to get in and out. To be fair, last time when I went to Noah Kahan last week, there was just as many girls in the men's room.

Exactly. And it's like just a thing now. Like, girls are in our bathrooms. So, like, just give them more bathrooms. Just give us more because we're going to take over your space because we haven't been given enough space. Or women are taking too long in the bathroom. And the people, like they're saying, will make it go faster because you don't want to be in there. It's just so weird that people can see you pee.

Yeah, but at a festival, everyone knows. I've gone pee behind a tree many times at a festival. Every time I leave the bar I always see girls popping a squat in between cars and I'm like, hey, yo. Yeah, we're desperate. If we're using between two cars

Between the Chevy Trailblazer That's what every festival needs. Between two cars. Even if they just did that. They said, here's the parking lot. Pee wherever you want. I would be happy with that. A new release date that nerds are going crazy over is a new type of xbox johnny i believe this you told me about this it came up on your

feed even though you're not a certified nerd but it is the first ever disc to digital xbox meaning every physical game would be uploaded and digitized to the xbox and yeah that sounds great because of course you have taking up less space in your cabinet all these dvds and xbox games that you've built up over the years but in the apocalypse we are going to need physical dvds and cds to occupy us if you've seen any apocalypse film it's true they're watching a bunch of dvds and they're watching you know indiana jones trilogy over and over and over again because that's the only thing that they still have a dvd of so keep your stuff because you never know when you're going to need it we will start a brand new hour of the show celebrate that it's friday we're in this together

Thanks for hanging in with us. Klein Alley Show on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ. It's Friday morning. It's 10 o'clock. We are in now the bonus hour of the show. Last year, I believe, it was the creation of summer hours where we went on an extra hour. And then they said, we like it so much, let's keep it.

So here we are almost the end of the following summer, still doing summer hours. That's why half of the show is gone. That's why half the show has given up. But you know what? We're all getting through it together. It's Klein Alley Show. I'm Alley. Vanessa's in the studio with me.

Some people in the live stream were wondering why Klein's neck got so small all of a sudden. It is kind of funny because Vanessa's shirt is actually the same size as Klein's. It's like she's wearing Klein's clothing. I wanted to be comfy because I needed to relax. Hey, I am with you. I understand. Vanessa is so nervous she has essential oils with her that were given to her by Jake. That's right.

The nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, really. Do you feel like it's health? I think it did. That's so sad that that's the nicest thing that was ever done for you. For my mental health, when I come to work sometimes, guys, I freak out. And I was like, I'm literally not a doctor. Everything's okay. So sometimes I'm like, hey, Jake, do you have anything for this feeling?

He's like, take a shot. Other than a shot. So the next day I came in, I had that for her. Why didn't you bring a shot? That would have been way better. She didn't want a shot. We have shots. I don't want a shot.

Come on. If you turned into an alcoholic, you'd do way less stress. Literally, in my brain, I was like, that's how alcoholics are made. Yeah, I know. They just try and get through the day with a little sip of whiskey here, a little moonshine there, and all of a sudden, you're in rehab. Exactly. So, we've got our opportunity later this hour to win tickets to our Endless Summer Kegger. This is happening at Back Bay Amphitheater at the Hyatt Regency in Newport Beach.

That's happening on Thursday, September 3rd with Slightly Stupid. We're all going to be there. My gender reveal is going to be happening there because we've been procrastinating long enough. We're also going to have a dunk tank for Jake. That's such bullcrap. To finally bathe. Is anybody else doing a stunt?

I've got to do the shotgun cigarette and dunk tank. I'm doing a kegger stand. You have to record all of it. Trade. Trade with me. You know, you're all doing kegger stands, according to the goat line. You know what's going on? At this kegger party that you guys got going on,

You should have a competition of who can do the best cake stand. Allie, I know you can do it, but you're pregnant, I know, so you won't be drinking. But Johnny, Johnny's the man. I know he can do the cake stand. Vanessa, I believe in Vanessa, too. Jake, I don't know about Jake, because he's going to have his dog tied to his chest. But, yeah, let's do some cake stands. Let's see who can do the best cake stand.

Let's go, K-Rock. Peace. That guy sounds like he's done many keg stands in his life. I would love to do my first keg stand with you guys. That means I only have, like, a couple days to get my upper body strength going, but Klein Alley Show, you guys freaking rock, and hope you guys do this forever, or something better, actually. But, yeah, you guys are awesome. Peace.

What a great compliment. I hope you do this forever or maybe something better. But that's what Klein Alley Show is. It's just okay. Thanks for slogging along with us. More show in the show quiz. Coming up later this hour, your chance to win. Klein Alley Show on KROQ.

106.7 KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. It has obviously been super hot this week, and I think that we have some relief in sight. But do you feel like when you – I've always talked about when I get home, no matter what the weather is, the first thing I like to do, especially if I know no one's home, is take off my pants or at least take the belt off. Just that feeling. For you, it's like the bra, right? The removal of the bra is a great feeling.

Yeah. I mean, I've always felt this, and my wife, too, said every time she takes her bra off, she hears Tom Petty's Free Fallin'. Well, it's probably not that hot, but okay. It's a nice feeling. I'm just saying in her head, though. Right. It's a feeling of freedom. It's a feeling of freedom.

And on the hot days, those simple reliefs are even better. And now I'm with you because I'm pregnant, so everything I'm wearing now is constricting. so now when I get home I also unbutton or take off the pants. And that's the first thing? Kind of, yeah, within the first 10 minutes.

Before shoes even? No, shoes are first. Oh, you do shoes. Always shoes, yeah. We're one of those shoe people. I think that, oh, that's right, you don't have a lot of shoes

in the house. It's not like we're like, take your shoes off but yeah, we don't wear our shoes in the house. But do you do that thing where you pass up aggressively

when people say things like that? No, we don't say anything to guests. But people see, they see the pile of shoes and they just do it. Don't you keep those little like booties by the door like they have

when you visit like tour homes that are under construction and they're like, put these booties on. Yeah, the ones that look like shower caps. Little hairnets for your feet.

And we have a little box you can pull out. Because a lot of people will say things like, we don't wear shoes in our house, but you can. I'm not going to tell you.

Yeah, I know. It's like you're basically telling us to take them off. Well, we stopped. What kind of dick would be like, oh, you don't? All right, that's fine.

I'm going to stomp around with my shoes on. Oh, my parents. Really? Oh, yeah. They said, well, we take our shoes off. They go, well, we don't. And they said we don't take them off.

Nope, and they just walk around with shoes. So doesn't that completely eliminate then what you've done? Yeah, but it's temporary. For the most part, there's no shoes happening. So it just keeps everything cleaner in my opinion. Omar, I couldn't imagine you giving ass about shoes. I don't, but we recently, about a year ago, redid our flooring. So more often than not, we go shoeless.

I'm just more comfortable without my shoes on, though. Right. Well, most people are. This is why I came up with toasters. Yeah, so we just take them off. The coasters for your feet, so you can kick your feet up on the table. Another ridiculous thing we can offer people. When you take a seat.

I just think that this week particularly, that feeling, especially if you have AC on. A lot of people understand why. You would not leave the AC on while you're not home. So you come in to a boiling hot house. The house is hot. It feels hotter than outside. and then you have to sit there and slowly like reverse lobster it while it gets a little bit cooler

and you get to finally feel a place of comfort. But if you are lucky enough or you're someone's home or whatever, you walk into the getting hit with the cold air, it is that feeling of the cold air hitting you followed by pants off, shoes off, bra off for you is like the greatest one-two punch I think you can get. Well, then if you're like, oh, I forgot something outside or my car in the garage or whatever,

you go back outside and then you go back inside. You get it again. It feels like you're walking to a refrigerator all the time. It's truly like an amazing thing. And I know it sucks that everyone's been hot. And I'm already dreading what this utility bill is going to be. I already know it's going to be one of those ones that you can feel it. It feels thicker.

There's so many pages on that little stupid graph. Yeah, yeah. That's my usage graph. Okay, it's a lot. Okay, I understand. And the graph that shows every other house is down here. But you're up here. And maybe next time you can try to be down here.

And I go, I don't understand. I'm just trying to survive the hot. You know what? And I don't ever look at those things, but I understand that it's just going to continue to go up every single year. Yeah. It's also global warming. Every single electric company is loving this right now. Yeah.

Heat advisory. Oh, it's like dollar signs in their eyeballs. You know, when I ever see like when you're, you know, driving next to a car, pulls up next to you in a light. It's a really nice car. You're like, oh, used to always be in your mind. Oh, that must be a that must be a rapper. That must be a professional athlete. It's probably like that guy must run the power company because they're probably – there's no way they're not just making money hand over fist.

No, I mean – and they know that they're doing it. But also because of all the lawsuits from the fires, they're jacking up the prices too of everything over and over again. Enjoy it. Wishing you guys the opportunity to go in to your house, take your pants off. If you're a no-shoe house, you can put that little basket by the door, that passive-aggressive basket and tell people to put your shoes in there. I agree that now when I walk through, especially if I know no one's home, I go almost full naked. I keep my underwear on just for my own self, but like-

Oh, even this morning, I was half naked until probably two minutes before I left. It's that the pants, shoes, shirt off almost at the same time is like something. If you're not the type of person that does that normally, try it today. Let it out. Let it jiggle. Let it out. Let it jiggle, baby. It's a jiggle summer.

We're Klein Alley Show. This is KROQ. K-Rock Klein Alley Show, a little less than a week from now, we are going to be at the Back Bay Amphitheater at the Hyatt Regency Newport Beach with Slightly Stupid. There's going to be beer. There's going to be good music, obviously. We are going to be there.

There's going to be a dunk tank. There's even going to be some poker. You can play some cards while you're there. Lots of good stuff. And, of course, Rob the Blob still might be showing up. We're not sure if he's going to make an appearance. The AI image he sent us the other day has us a little bit of a questionable state, but it's going to be a good time regardless, and if you want tickets to win,

you had to have listened to the entire show today. I know that's asking a lot, but if you can get three in a row right, you're going to the Endless Summer Kegger. It's time for the show quiz. The Klein Alley Show Quiz. Yeah, that's funny. Titi Kaga. I don't have please, I have aunt.

Chris Greger likes Walmart. You never call. Ozzy. I'm with you, Hitler. Bitch. Bye, Carl. Voila! Here's how it works.

I have a list of questions here. All things that happened on today's show, you have to get three in a row right to win. So if you get two in a row and then you get the third one wrong, we start all over again with a new caller. This is our favorite thing. Hopefully this is just going to be a one-and-done situation. We'll start with Sabrina.

Sabrina, what's up? Good morning. Sweet divots. Sweet divots to you. How long have you been listening this morning? Early 8th, 7th, 9th, in and out. I was driving, and then I'm at work. Okay.

All right. Great dad. True dedication. This should be interesting. All right. Question number one. Earlier today, I was talking about an animal that I had to try and get out of my apartment while I was in the middle of a fight with my wife.

What animal was I trying to get out of my apartment? Oh, man. It couldn't have been a cat, right? You love cats. I let them in. Yeah, no problem. Open door policy with cats in my place. A mouse?

I'm so sorry, Sabrina. I'm Sabrina. I'm Sabrina, and I know the news. Thank you so much for calling. Sorry you were kind of in and out today. I know we were kind of in and out as well. Tough to listen to at certain times. Thanks for calling, but we do have more chances next week, so it's not over for you.

sabrina all right robert we'll go to robert next from pico rivera what's up robert hey hey good morning good morning do you think you can answer this first question what animal did i have to try and get out of my apartment a story i was telling earlier today it's a a rat with wings a bat there you go a bat i was like please don't say rat she said mouse what are we gonna do congratulations All right, you're one down. Here's your next one. What form of public transportation did Johnny say he's going to take for the very first time? Choo-choo, a train.

There you go, a choo-choo train. Johnny thinks he's finally ready after all this time. He's an adult. Very good. All right, you're one question away from going to the kegger. Here's your final question, hopefully. What country did Jake say he's going to go to when the world ends? This was during clickbait.

We all guessed which country was the safest country to go to in an apocalypse situation. Something with a wall. I don't know what the wall was, but it's Norway. There you go. Yes. Robert, congratulations. It's a scene vault. Something with a wall.

Yeah, none of us were listening either. I know. I understand, Robert. Congratulations. We will see you there. Sweet divots to you. Have a wonderful weekend. We'll see you next week in Newport.

and we've got more show next and get your takeaways to us it's Klein Alley Show on KROQ on a Friday KROQ Klein Alley Show, whoa that ended quickly we're going to get out of here pretty soon it's a Friday, thanks for hanging with us

today, Klein will be back on Monday we will be in full force, Omar's going to be back as well, it was kind of weird having two people out and of course the text line is all over the place this is the worst thing I've ever heard Oh, you guys are doing great. Love the female power, the estrogen, the studio.

Regardless, I know it's always just okay at the end of the day. So thanks for hanging out with us. Let's do some takeaways before we get out of here. Actually, before we get to takeaways, let's clear out one more goat line call. It has been hot as balls. And Greg, pantyhose Greg, has some advice on how to deal with swamp ass. Clown and alley man, the weather, huh? It's so hot and muggy.

I bet everybody's suffering this swamp ass. Everybody's suffering the swamp pass. I'm serious. Oh, man, I'm just sitting here. You know, if I get the swamp pass, I just jump in the shower, wash it up, blow it, and dry it off because I ain't walking around with the swamp pass. There you go. All right, you guys, good luck with the swamp pass today.

All right. All right, if you get some swamp pass, just jump in the shower like Pantyhose Greg. And now we can get to our takeaways, as if that wasn't takeaway enough. 424 my takeaway is every festival needs between two cars it's better than any female urinal 213 my takeaway is embankment is a fancy word 213 face sweat is different than pit sweat 818 the jason report is funny and everyone likes it damn right it is 909 bats have saved Katie and Allie's relationship. That's very true.

213, Vin Diesel is an actor boy. 213, Allie thinks you shouldn't poo-poo incest. That's right. Don't knock until you've tried it. 707, my takeaway is Klein's dong destroyed a village. And 818, my takeaway is Dog-estan

is how you pronounce Dog-estan. Speaking of, Johnny, do you have a takeaway? Yeah, Norway better get ready for Jake the Nerd. Yeah, I don't know if Norway's ready. We were going to send Jake to the Netherlands. I know that's not the same country, but we still got to do that. I think we were trying to make that happen, and the sales team was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to that.

They suggested Utah. They did? Utah? Yeah. What is the comparison there? I don't know. That is so typical. Here's something really cool that we want to do.

How about something that is way less interesting, and you have to crowbar it into the next three weeks of content? Sounds about like K-Rock. Yep, there it is. You know what? I'll go to Utah. Yeah, Jake will go to Utah. It's hard to drink there, though. Oh, yeah.

All their beers can't be, like, over a certain proof. Yeah, and then I think they have a lot of rules. Like, on Sunday, you can't buy it in a lot of places. What is your takeaway, Jake? Johnny is a mature adult. He sure is. He's a mature adult that can handle dehydration. And, Vanessa, what's your takeaway, my love?

Katie is the sister in their relationship. The younger sister? Not the older sister. That's way too much responsibility. All right, we're going to get out of here. We're going to see you Monday morning, full strength. Another live show, and we'll announce the winner. See who's going to Boston to see Weezer and get that signed guitar.

And, of course, we'll have a few more tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger, where we'll have Slightly Stupid, a dunk tank, we'll have some poker, and we will do the gender reveal of my baby, if anyone still cares. Until then, have a great weekend. And here's some weekend song to get you into the weekend. It's not about that Monday, Tuesday No one cares about Wednesday Thursday

Forget that noise Are you ready for the weekend? Honk, honk Are you ready for the rear end? Rear end Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

They trash Thursday, Friday, forget about that. Friday's all good and sad. It's Sunday, sleeping in, eating brunch. Diddy, great guy like Diddy. I pull my pants, I don't have underwear. Dagestan. No. Hit the beach or hit the mall.

Go out with friends, do nothing at all. Sleep in one movie, sleep in two. Boy, I'm stars. Anything goes. Just take a look. Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah. Wow, I really regret that last show, but it's too late to take it back now.

It will live forever on the interwebs and potentially in your memories. That was the good thing about radio when we started this show. It would live in the air and disappear in the moment. But now you can hold all these clips against us forever. The best thing about radio is that you can picture what we look like without having to see it for reals. Unfortunately, now that has changed. Yes. You can watch us on live stream on KROQ.

And you can click like, subscribe. It really helps us out. And it's a benefit for you because you'll probably feel better about your own appearance. That's what it's all about. expensive plastic surgery or just watching us and looking in the mirror and feeling better. That's what you can do right now as we are on KROQ YouTube, live streaming every morning. If you want to check out part of the show while you're getting ready, then put us on the radio, drive and work, then get to work and avoid your coworkers by listening to us while streaming.

There are so many ways for you to embrace the show and every one of those ways helps us. So even if you're leaving for the day, please put the YouTube on, leave it on for your cat, your dog, your hamster. It all helps us on KROQ YouTube. And anytime you want to see a blind taste test, a beer, or a lie day Friday in person, you can see it all in the live stream. Really dumb radio bits are best with a visual aid.