Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's Hot Restaurant

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. All fun, K-Rock.

We are Klein Alley Show. You know, I talked about something a few years ago, and it was perhaps the dumbest concept I'd ever heard of before, and every woman on the planet knew about it, and it was completely new to me, and it was a concept called standing pants, and women apparently have pants that they can only stand in. They can't sit in them.

They're too tight. They're too tight. And they go up too high. They wear them for standing purposes, And if they need to sit, I guess they either have to take them off or unbutton them or something. How did you discover this? I forget. You were going to go to a restaurant?

Yeah, we went to a restaurant, and then they said, your table's ready. It was a restaurant bar, and my wife said, we have to eat at the bar standing. And I said, why is that? That's crazy. And she goes, because I'm only wearing my standing pants. And I said, your what? I can't. I've got to go change into my sitting pants.

I said, I've got pants that stand and sit. They look similar. But she said, no, trust me, women know about standing pants. and I talked about it. I said, no way anyone's ever heard of these. And a lot of people called it and said, yeah, that's a true thing. Yeah, there's certain things that when you wear them,

you just can't sit down. I don't wear things like that, but I've heard tell of this. There's a new dumber thing that I just found out about. And this is as of yesterday. And boy, if this is real, please someone else call and claim that this is real. I think it sounds made up, frankly,

because the last time when I heard about standing pants, I said, this is made up. And then enough other people said that's a real thing that I go, wow, that's crazy. It doesn't mean it should exist, but it does exist. How did she fit in the car then with Stenny pants?

Great question, Omar. Apparently the pants were in the trunk like a rolled up rug. I put the seat down in the back and rolled her down. I think that the pants

were unbuttoned at that time. Yeah, there's an unbuttonness but if the shirt is not long enough to cover the unbuttoning then the unbuttoning can only happen and can't happen

in a public place. Yeah, I know from experience because I've done that with sitting pants. Right. I mean, it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but apparently it's real. This one, I want to say, is 10 times dumber. Really?

So it's been very hot the last few days. I live in the Valley, even hotter there. Very hot. And we are kidless this week because my kids are away, which should have been amazing. It's not been amazing so far, but that may be changed just when I go to Vegas later. But I said, let's just sit around the house,

even though I love sitting around the house. We should get out and do something. So we went out to a restaurant, and it was hot. and the restaurant was hot and you could see people in there and everyone was hot but the table

they sat us at was right beneath a fan a big blowing fan ceiling fan moving the heat around the restaurant felt like they didn't have AC but the fan

was definitely making it a little bit more comfortable everyone in there was hot my wife was cold oh no we sat down and she goes

I am cold there's no other tables do you think I can ask them to turn the fan down I said zero chance we can ask them to turn the fan down

everybody else in the restaurant will be pissed Everyone will hate us, and the reality is the fan is actually making this pleasant. Without the fan, this would be a terrible experience. And I said, but good news, you have a sweater. Because she was wearing a tank top, and she had a sweater draped around her neck. Oh, decorative sweater? Okay, now hold on before you get there.

I said, great news, you're cold. You got a sweater. You got a sweater. You've got a solution. And she said, oh, no, this is not a wearing sweater. This is a draping sweater. Uh-huh. I said, you've got to be kidding me.

What the hell is that? She goes, I couldn't put this on. I go, what are you talking about? It's got working. Why can't you put it on? That doesn't fit? Is it like a baby size? She said, it's not for wearing.

It's for draping. I said, what the hell is that? A draping sweater? It's like a throw. Oh, like you put a blanket on a couch, but you can't use the blanket? It's just a decorative blanket? What the hell is that? It's just a presentational blanket.

So I said, let me get this straight. Did anyone buy that sweater to wear it? Or is anyone who bought that sweater just wearing it around like a cape? And she said, some people may wear it, but it's not meant for that. It's meant for draping. So it is a real sweater. It's not like closed. Like it has buttons and holes and everything?

No, I said, let me see that sweater. I took off her draping sweater. I put my hands right through it. It's like a magician. You see, what's up? I put my hands through all the sleeves. I go, everything here works. What's going on?

What's the issue here? You're cold. We've got a solution. And she goes, it would ruin the outfit and it would look weird if I wore it because it's only meant to be draped. I said, this is the stupidest. Now it's the new stupidest thing I ever heard. So people still do that. I thought that was like an old, you know, a preppy thing to wear, like the little sweater around your shoulders.

So you know better, Ali's obviously not a fashionista like you are, but is that back, the whole draped sweater thing? I feel like that's back. Is Vanessa gone? Oh, there she is. It's me. Oh, what's up, Vanessa? Sorry, your mic was off.

What's up? Oh, I said, I haven't heard it, but this totally makes sense to me. Why should this make sense to anyone? Because it makes the outfit. And if you put on the sweater, it's going to be simple, and then her outfit is ruined. It's the same goddamn outfit. It's the same outfit.

What are you talking about? No, no, no, it's different. I'm seeing the sweater. The draped sweater is giving her swag. With it on, it's just a regular outfit. And your wife has fashion. I will never understand the world that we live in because I'm saying to her, I'm looking at the sweater. I'm seeing it.

The only difference is instead of it being around your back, you would be in it and comfortable. Like it's covering part of her arm, so that part's warm. The sleeves are like crisscross applesauce. Oh, my God. She doesn't do the one little tie? Yeah, like that. Like a Letterman sweater? No, not like tie.

Like it's draped. It's draping. It's a draping sweater. I said, this is, this has got, so she said. And then does she ever wash it? If it's just draping? I don't think you have to wash it ever. You just hang it back up?

And I said, it's, I said, that thing's amazing because when the food comes, you could turn it around and it could be a bib. She could be a bullfighter. She doesn't like any of these jokes. And I said, so she sat there and she, her option was she just sat there cold with the fan above us. And by the way, not cold, still probably 85 degrees in there. And she just kept her draping sweater on because she didn't want to ruin it.

That's how much she loves fashion. She's like, I'm going to sacrifice it. Yeah, just suffer for it. I don't understand sacrificing comfort for style. No, never. I will never understand that. Just walking around uncomfortable all day and all night because you think it looks good. But I think most, not most, but I think a lot of women that wear those shoes, I mean,

these shoes cannot be comfortable. I see shoes constantly that look incredibly uncomfortable, and women are choosing to wear them because I would imagine it's a style over comfort thing, right? But I think some people, they brainwash themselves into thinking it's comfortable, because if you do something uncomfortable enough you've brainwashed yourself into thinking like this is what's normal i i bet you this weekend i'll be able to disprove that because there's no place on the planet where you see more people the second they get out of a club ripping their shoes off and holding them in their hands than in vegas right and everyone just seems miserably uncomfortable

oh i went to vegas with a woman who sprained her ankle in her heels and still went to the club in the in this in the sprained ankle with the heels it's it's crazy i i'll never i'll never get it. But then, how do you, if you're in a store, I don't understand how you determine which one is the draping sweater and which one is a real sweater. Is there a draping sweater section? Like, is it petite, athletic, drape? She said she bought it in a regular sweater

section, but she knows it's meant for draping. And I said, that's the part that's crazy. So, I literally saw a woman three tables away. It looked like she was wearing a similar thing, but wearing it. And I was like, you could be like that person. Look how comfortable she looks. You could be like her in a sweater. All you gotta do is push.

So, once again, I'll never figure it out, but would you agree that draping sweater is dumber than standing pants? I think what we need to do is create a Klein Alley show. I've never been intimate with Jake. Draping sweater. That's our next bit of merch. It's very on trend, so get ready for that. We've got to take a quick break. We're back in a second. We have news to get to

and then we have Disneyland tickets to get to and much more, and it all starts after this.