Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's Kegger Update

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Okay, Rod, we are Klein Alley Show.

We have lots to get into this morning and lots to give you if you want to interact. Remember these numbers. You'll need them. Maybe not now, but at some point this morning, 800-520-1067. I know that we are all looking forward to Friday's Backyard Hang. Oh, are we? Well, it's getting a little – listen, I want to appreciate everyone who has reached out, and there have been so many people.

I mean, there's messages on the GOAT line about it, Allie. There's a guy who's offered to come and do an ice luge. Yeah, but you're not letting anybody in. Yeah, I got my plus one all sorted out. Jake, you're about to get a minus one. Can I minus one myself? No, you can't minus one yourself. Minus one.

Minus one. No, you're already out, Omar. Omar's ice cream cake has been ordered already. It says, happy birthday, Omar. And we're going to watch it in time lapse, melt in the sun, because Omar's not going to be at his own birthday party. Damn, I do love ice cream cake. Allie's back in now, baby. All right, I'm in.

Plus one. I want to thank everyone who's offered it. Some DJs have reached out and said, if Omar won't be there, I will come and DJ. We have a house DJ that said he would come by and DJ. And Auburn's offering up their services. Yeah, but this is all pointless because you don't want anybody there. This is the strangest party. It's a no-party party.

Oh, you should have heard yesterday after the show, Klein going like, so guys, what do you want to do about this party? I'm like, you're throwing it. Why don't you decide what you want to do with your party? It's supposed to be a rager, man. This guy is now making me rethink everything. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley? This is Mel with Rice and Barbecue.

I am a five-year slogger now, I want to say. But, yeah, I run a barbecue company that can cook whatever. Whoa. I specialize in Filipino barbecue, but I can bring my grills if need be, Klein. Filipino barbecue is one of my top 20 favorite types of barbecue. I love it. It's in my top 30. But you know what?

For you guys, let me know, okay? I've messaged you guys before. I'm sure it's like Johnny that's replying to me or whatever, but it's at Rice and Barbecue RIC. I got to do some digging now. And then someone else had offered up Ron Solo Cup. Juan Solo. Juan Solo Cup from the AA Avengers wanted to come by. Obviously, the Bud Light Bros.

But you're not going to let any of these people in. No. So what are we doing now? So are you updating us? What are you doing now? Yeah, what are you doing? Here's more things that could happen. But it's not.

I'm updating you guys that it's going to... Let it happen, dude. It could be a Project X situation. Hell, yeah. It gets a little out of control, and it's supposed to start small, and we'll see what happens. But, Allie, if you don't want to go, if you're going to minus one yourself, you're out. No one's ever said at a pool party, oh, where's that fun pregnant lady? So you want out, you're out.

Okay, fine. I'm out. Allie's out. No. Allie's got to be there. If Allie wants out, she's out. If you don't want me there, then I won't be there. Vanessa's in, and she said she's going to be drinking.

I said I was going to control myself. A beer. A beer. You know what that means. Vanessa said she's going to have one beer. You know what? Yeah. That's a party.

That's a party. Yeah, no kidding. Vanessa's going to be so wasted. Listen to this. Vanessa has never done a keg stand before in her life. No way. Really? And Vanessa will be doing her first ever keg stand.

She's not ladylike. Hey, listen. You don't wear a skirt while you do it, but Vanessa's going to do her first ever keg stand in an alley. You don't think that that is going to be something that is going to be epic? I mean, I think Omar could end up showing up. So have you expanded the guest list at all, or is it just us again? It's once again just you guys.

Is your wife going to be there? She is trying to find somewhere else to go work. But I said to her, why don't you? Is it still just from noon to 2? I told her, maybe 1.30. We may cut it a half hour short. I think we're going to push. I can't even get there until 12.45.

That's over then. Why can't you get there until 12.45? I need to go home and feed the dog. Are you bringing your dog? Of course. Oh, Jesus. I think there's a no dogs policy. I think it's going to go until 3.

I think I'm going to expand it an hour. Yeah. I'm going to expand it an hour. Party animal. So we have time to get hungry again because there'll be nothing else to do after we do. It's going to be Filipino barbecue now, apparently. So we've got that to look forward to. Allie, I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised.

I've got some surprises now. I'm telling you, I've planned some. Now I've gotten into the excitement of it. Suave Agave is going to be there? Suave Agave is offered to come and make an example. Everyone has offered. Have you accepted any of these offers? I feel bad because I think

people are under the impression that this is going to be a big, fun party, and it's not. Okay. Dude, way to sell it. What the hell? What are you doing here, man? I'm so confused. Cancel my cake. I know it's confusing. Is this happening or not happening? In my brain, I feel like

it's still not happening. It's happening, but I think you guys are all under the impression. Like, Allie keeps going, Klein, invite a bunch of your friends to come over. It's noon on a Friday. My friends have jobs. Well, not all of them. Quite a few of them don't have jobs.

But a lot of them have jobs. So we can't invite our friends either? I'm just saying if it's only the five of us, it's not really a party. And if only two people are drinking, then what are we doing here? Well, you're allowed to drink a little bit. Aren't you allowed to have a few drinks when you're pregnant?

If you're swimming? I could probably do one kid's dance. Pregnant lady kickstand? If I drink it slowly. That would be so funny. It is viral. That's viral stuff right there. Seriously.

I mean, I'm telling you. I'm going to show up if you do that. Why don't you invite Megan Holliday and some other people from K-Rock or something? She's a buzzkill, man. She's going to be there giving out the Norcan. She has said, life of the party. She's going to set up a tent and save lives. I'll tell you who's not the life of the party, you.

So, I'm just saying, I know you're concerned, but it's good. Hey, have you guys ever partied with Johnny? I'm interested to see if he parties down. Johnny said he's bringing his girlfriend and some friends. Wow. He'll probably bring some friends, too. Why does he get to invite friends? Because they're young and fun.

And hot. So Jake can't invite friends, but Johnny can? Jake's friends, he posts his friends every week when he does his Magic the Gathering Yeah, we don't want those people there. Isn't it bringing Moist Joyce and all those other bar characters? That sounds great. I can't have that. Allie, I can't have that in my bed.

I don't have anything in common with hot girls. Let Johnny bring his friends. At some point, around 3 o'clock, my kids are going to get back from school, and they're going to see this whatever the hell's transpiring in my backyard what about 562 said why don't we just get an airbnb for like a night or a few hours or something and then we can throw a big party well the problem with the airbnbs are you talk about the not the life of the party they shut down parties before anyone else because everyone decided i don't mind if you sleep in my house but i want you partying in my house people got real mad about that so now the only time to have a

party now is you got to do it in your own house i mean we're only renting at once that's a good point well i guess we don't keep trying to get our deposit back 213 said i'm a stripper and i'll come Whoa. His name's Julio. Oh, boo. Pass, pass. No. I'm it.

I'm all about Julio. Yeah, me too. I mean, for Vanessa, unicorn, unicorn, right? Unicorn, unicorn. As in like, unicorn, no thank you. Okay. What? I don't think it works like that.

I was trying to rhyme. Okay. So the point is. It's hard to rhyme with unicorn. For everyone who has sent DMs about this, it's not a, this is not a show. It's not a party, all right? So shut up. It's not, yeah, it's not a party.

You know what you gotta tell the cops when they come and they knock on the door? Just go inside and watch a movie or something. We're going to watch a movie. I'd rather do that. What are you going to show? What movie are you going to show? Schindler's List. I think it really is.

We're going to watch Schindler's List. That'll sound like an upgrade to this party. That's what I'm calling the guest list for this party, actually. We got to take a break. When we get back, we have more show. If you think that was fun, I'll just wait. We know how to have a good time down here. I'm just telling you, you want to poo-poo it all you want.

If it's just me and Vanessa and she's doing cake stands. I mean, you're just not selling it very well. I don't think any of us are really excited except Jake. Wouldn't you rather I under-promise and over-deliver? I would rather be promised something. I did promise you something. You've got to say yes to Suave Agave, the barbecue guy, and all this stuff, dude. The DJs.

You've got to say yes. You're not going to have a DJ if your wife is going to be there working from home. I told her. I said I'd put my foot down. I said from noon until 2. Your tiny foot? From noon until 2. Is that when you had the 1.30 discussion?

Yeah, that's right. I said, noon till 2, I'm doing what I want to do in this backyard. She's like, when my nails are done, the party's over. I'm coming back home. She goes, 1.30, they're out of here. I said, no, don't you worry. So just plan accordingly. I'm just saying.

I know you're all trying to fit. And Omar, I think it's worth the commitment. All right. All right. We'll see. Where do you live? Don't worry. You're going to be there.

I can't give the coordinates around. You'll see. Coordinates? Is this like a treasure map now? I will give you guys your clues later this week. Okay. All right? If you find them, you get to go.

Now this is fun. Oh, no. That's going to be a murder mystery, Allie. It's your favorite. We take a quick break. The only reason we murdered is fun at this party. We'll be back with more show next.