Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's Pest Problem

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. apologies when i'm wrong i'm wrong although i'll blame vanessa for this one because i had written down you know switzerland and bosnia as a who is playing at the sofi stadium today which is true

and mexico and of course vanessa got all excited because yes mexico is playing today and they are playing that game is not inside sofi the mexico south korea game is happening i think that one's in mexico actually so yeah so once again she's hammered and i'm looking down at my notes i go i think i wrote down the right answer i know what's happening here but then vanessa was so confident because that's right and i'm going i don't think it is right but they're saying that because of obviously the importance of that game that they think there'll be more people watch at the watch parties for that game that care way more about the mexico game today than even they're going to care about i did see some kind of yeah headline about how hundreds and hundreds of people

were coming in to watch parties for the mexico game yeah so i think that that kind of makes it taking place here in a way yeah i don't i don't think it would have changed the uh the outcome of Allie Knows the News, sadly, but apologies for being incorrect, and once again, I'll take the heat on that, regardless of if that information came from overly confident producer Vanessa that was confident that it was going to happen.

Not even in your ear. I'm going to tell everyone. Usually it's in my ear. I get a lot of bad information. Okay, this is what happened. I heard half of the question, what team is playing today? And I was like, Mexico. SoFi Stadium. And I forgot the SoFi Stadium. Allie, what is Grosser right now? And I know that you

are currently the reigning champion of the gross one on the show. I'm not. Jake is. No, you won. You beat Jake in the gross off. The last gross off. And there's going to be another gross off coming soon. I hate to announce that two things are happening right now around me. Both of them have

happened before. Another lice issue? Well, no. We've transitioned in our house from lice to fleas. Your kids have fleas now? No, no, no. The dog has fleas. And because the dog has fleas, fleas

as i'm learning and i just went through i mean lice are terrible and you got to clean everything and vacuum everything and wash everything and then go through that process finally get things back to normal again only to find out then the dog picked up fleas because apparently it's the flea the flea is time of the year so now isn't it always the flea is like they they can survive anything i gotta go through all of the same stuff again it's literally the same protocol except instead of me rinsing my kids out constantly it's now taking the putting the dog in the shower giving him the shampoo giving him the special stuff the flea comb it's it's a disgusting thing well but but i think that you're just supposed to put flea treatment on them every

month and then you eliminate this problem yeah but i don't most people just put that little thing on the scruff of their neck and it's not your issue but eventually like like deodorant i feel like they overpower the thing and you got to change out the medicine are they getting stronger than flea medicine i think so are you using flea medicine every month not every month because i forget sometimes but i do have that all the time no i did it about three months ago Four or five months ago. Within the last year I've done it. So how many, let's go through how many animal infestations.

Oh, there's another one though. There's another one because there has been a skunk issue again that is not just affecting my house, but affecting the neighborhood so much so that now there are a bunch of people that are chipping in to buy a giant thing of fox urine and they're saying that. Is that what keeps the skunks out is fox urine? Yeah. So apparently now there's a big jug there. I just got a text to ask if I wanted to chip in and get my share of this big jug of fox urine that someone bought

because apparently everyone's going to be sprinkling it around their yards to try to keep this. That can't be. There's probably somebody who heard it somewhere, the fox urine. Like, that can't be a real thing. Oh, there's pictures and everything. I'll show you. Well, I'm sure there's pictures. They have a picture of the jug and everything.

I guarantee you will buy this and put it there, and it will do nothing. Well, if you remember the time I— Wasn't everybody buying other urine to keep coyotes out, and it doesn't do crap? Well, I bought coyotes. I have purchased that the last time because someone told me that was the right one. But I think what I bought was sadly like a female coyote in heat urine or something. And it just brought a bunch of coyotes by. So how much animal urine have you bought over the years?

Just one time. And now this is the second time you're going to be buying animal urine. That's actually not true. I did also buy synthetic dog urine one time because we were trying to train our dog to pee on the dog pee-pee pad. I thought it said to fake a drug test. To fake a drug test. Sorry. I needed my dog to do a job.

Your dog had to pass. Yeah, hold on. I'm trying to find this. This is what the thing looks like, but it's a giant jug, and now there's a warning that someone posted this jug of fox urine that they bought, and someone else said, that's not a good brand. You should buy this one instead. Who knows good brands of fox urine?

Isn't the only brand Fox? Well, Mountain Dew, I think, makes a good one. Yeah, that's true. Mountain Dew, go Fox. Yeah, it's Fox Urine Code Red. It's great. Do you think that this has anything to do with the fact that your neighbors are moving out of your area at a very fast rate because you're the urine guy? Listen, could be.

Could be part of it. I mean, you always have some kind of an infestation. You had lice. You have fleas. You have skunks. You have, it's like a disgusting Noah's Ark over there. I assume this is every place, though. I mean, that's, we live in the Wild West.

None of us have had that issue. Well, we all, let's all. I've never had skunks, multiple skunk infestations in multiple houses. Can we all announce our issues publicly so that anyone who's listening who's dealing with something doesn't feel so chastised by what they're going through? Allie, go ahead. Announce your two issues now because you got them. Nothing. Rat.

You have rats. There are some droppings, but that's not an issue. Just announce it. Don't be ashamed. You're a rat person. They're outside only where rats always are. And in your grill and in your car and somewhere else. No, they're only in the backyard as of now.

Omar, what issues do you currently have? Be honest. The only issue that I currently have, and I'm dealing with it, and it sucks because they're ruining my hibiscus plants, are white flies. Oh, those are gross. Yeah. So I have a lot of white flies. Now that you mentioned that, I think we have those too.

Yeah, I'm spraying them with dish soap, and I have those little sticky traps everywhere, and then I try to rinse them every couple of days. It's a huge pain in my ass. Jake, what are you dealing with right now? Be honest. Actually, my ants are gone. And I think the most I have are little ankle-biter mosquitoes outside. And his little cricket issue is getting louder.

Oh, the crickets that follow you around your comedy shows. Oh, yeah, those crickets have found me and have gathered around at night. They're like in surround sound now. Yeah, but that's not really a... I've got to turn on the A.C. to drown them out at night. That's just a Jake's not funny issue. That's a Jake issue, right. That's a Jake needs a good joke issue.

I got it. So you had ants, so you think your ant problem is gone? Ant problem is gone, yeah. Johnny, are you dealing with anything currently, a current infestation that we should know about? Yeah, last night I had three coyotes attack our trash cans outside because I forgot to properly throw my food away in the trash can. Okay, so that seems about right. That seems like a you issue.

This also seems to be the time of year. No, but coyotes, I mean, that's... And Vanessa, do you have anything in Long Beach? Yes, I hate to admit this. One, so many spiders. So many spiders. And number two, which I... Please don't...

A frickin' bagel cucaracha came into my house that I had to five with my life. A bagel cucaracha? Big ol' cockroach. That is the most popular dance at the Bar Mitzvah Circa, the Big Ol' Cucaracha. I had to fight it. It was disgusting. How did you fight it? Did you win? I don't think so.

I don't think you did. I did win. How did you get rid of the cockroach? I sprayed it a ton. I grabbed a bunch of paper towels and I threw it in the trash. What did you spray it with? I know you don't have a proper spray.

Right. So what did you use? Spray? Cleaning spray. Oh, okay. Windex? Because it needs to get wet. It needs to die. Right, okay. Right, okay. Jesus. You are Colombian.

So the reality is that... Kill it slowly. We've all got our things, right? And it does feel like it's the time of year that we're all being infested with stuff. I just happen to have two hitting me at once now after just getting out of a lice thing. Now I move directly into fleas slash skunks. But I don't think people get lice as much as you get lice. And I don't think people get skunks as much as you get skunks.

You're the only person I know that's had that many skunk problems. Didn't he also have a raccoon issue at one point? Yeah, yeah. But that was the old place. By the way, someone is nominating Omar's line about hibiscus as the gayest show saying of the month. So if you're keeping track of the gayest things that have been said on the show during Pride Month, Omar arguing, complaining about his... Come on, man.

They're ruining my plans. Hibiscus are the gayest flowers. Hey, I like those flowers. They're very tropical looking. Do we have an update? Jake, how many clips have you pulled so far for gayest thing that's been said this month? Oh, there's at least like a dozen. Okay, and where do you think Omar's hibiscus line ranks in that list?

One or two. Wow. That's so true. I think Johnny's saying something about the D is probably up there too. Oh, yeah, that's right. Does anyone have access to this audio or are you just stockpiling it? Oh, Omar has most of it, but I have like a master list too. Okay.

I'm just very curious because I know that we're like more than halfway through the month right now. We've been keeping track of who will say the absolute gayest thing on the show during Pride Month. And I knew it wouldn't be me. And Allie is confident it's not going to be her. And she's the only actual gay person on the show. So the idea that you're going to lose this is crazy. And Omar's been stockpiling lines with the help of Jake, the Arbiter of Sound. And so we'll get to it.

But make sure you pull Omar's hibiscus line. It could be a new frontrunner. Great. We've got to take a quick break. We're back after this with news, a brand-new hour of the show, a giant TV in your future, a mountain of meat, and so much more next.