Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Klein's Pool Party

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Omar, did you watch us singing Happy Birthday to You

in the clip that's just been put up at Klein Alley Show? Yeah, I did see it. Did you feel like you were on to the cake, said your name and frosting and everything? I did. It was very nice of you. Happy birthday, buddy. Thank you.

What'd you end up doing for your birthday? Just hanging with my fam. They took me out to eat. Anywhere? Did you go to one of your favorite chains? We ended up going to Red Robin, and it was not a great experience. Yeah.

you should have uh you should have come back in uh because you come to the pool party we threw for you yeah there's good food at that barbecue yeah barbecue and i mean these are crazy the chicken tendies were good yeah uh jake um you know jake is like a termite he will take advantage of everything um that is offered he's one of those guys you know like you a lot of times we'll go to someone's house to get your drink even if you're thirsty you go no i'm okay most people that's usually what i do i'm all right no i'll be okay i hate that though jake will um he'll Everything he's offered, he will take. I would rather a Jake as a host.

And even in the process of putting together the endless summer pool party, forced fun, of course, had to invite everyone over for the pool party. And I felt bad because I could tell Vanessa really wanted to get in the pool, but I think she didn't want to be in a bathing suit around us for whatever reason. So she just kind of sat there all bundled up with her feet in the pool. Just with a smile on her face. Smiling and definitely like you'd see like she was jealous. And I thought once Allie decided that she was going to go in,

Even though she's all pregnant, that would have made Vanessa brave enough to also go in the pool. Yeah, I told her, I'm going to get in my bikini. I'm going to come down, and I'm going to be wrapped in a wrap. And then as soon as I take it off, I'm getting in. And before anyone thinks what Allie's saying is hot or sexy, she also wore a swim cap. Well, if we were going to do the swim contest, I needed my swim cap. As my wife pointed out, I have not seen a swim cap in forever. Yeah.

By the way, you left it at my house. It's still there. Damn it. Okay, I need it. So Allie put on a swim cap. I don't want to get my hair wet. Jake, who said swimming is for kids and losers. I said pools. Pools are for losers, decided that he would take off his jean shorts and put on his swimming jean shorts. They were like camo.

It was funny. It was like just a swim short version of his regular shorts. It was wild. I don't even know why he changed. It was like he printed out his short. He took off his camouflage denim shorts and then put on a different pair of the exact same shorts to go swimming in. I don't know what he even did. It's amazing.

So Jake did that, and he decided that he was going to take Allie up on the challenge. Did you bring those goggles yourself, Jake? Yeah, of course I brought them. He took them seriously. Okay, so I didn't realize you had... For someone who doesn't go swimming a lot, it's funny that you have your own goggles. I take them on my floating trip every year because I can swim around and look at fish. Wait a minute.

You take them to sit on a raft? I don't sit on the tube the whole time. I get off the tube, and I swim around, and I dive down, and I look at fish. I just... Yeah. We had a theory that Jake couldn't swim, and that's why he was making fun of people that go in pools. So we said it'd be funny if Jake swam against a pregnant woman and lost the race. And this is what happened.

Ready? Is he at the first step? Where is he at? First step. Let me see. Where are you at? Okay. This is Klein's gay music.

I don't know if you hear that music playing, but that is the international sound of a pool party. It's just loud thumping bass. Yeah, totally. Yeah, that's how you know. I think it was down, down, down. You're obsessed with that song, right? Down, down, down. You love that song.

Yeah, you think it's so cool. Yeah, Klein was having an identity crisis with the music. At first it was like, it was K-rock music. And we were like, hey, let's play something else. And then you started playing Bad Bunny because I think you thought. Well, I wanted to necessarily feel comfortable. And then you started playing your, like, Counting Crows crap. And then you started playing this.

Yeah. Okay. All right. Contestant's ready. What are we doing? Are we doing a one, two, three, go? Wait, wait, wait. Do we need to?

Do they need to? Do they want to do a practice lap just to see the course? No, no, no, no. See the course. I didn't want that. I knew the way that things always work with us is that there was going to be some sort of discrepancy at the end where we wouldn't have any sort of results because Jake would have said something that I didn't realize. You had to touch the wall with your hand or something.

So I said, let's just go through it one time so it's clean. Everyone knows what the race is. It's not a big pool. Well, of course, it's there and back. Right, it's there and back, and it's not like a lap pool. It's a typical California pool that they can't – it's not deep and it's not big because you're not allowed to waste too much water. Yeah, no, it takes you probably 10 seconds to get to the other side. Right, so that's why I thought you guys would want to do a run through the course, but no, you didn't want to.

It's going to be three, two, one, go. Okay, ready? Intestines ready. Touch the wall. All right, ready? Three, two, one, go. All right, all right. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Back, back, back, back, back. Go, Ali! Go! Now, Ali was in a... Let me say something. That's my girl. Ali was in a commanding lead out of the... At the beginning of us.

Yeah, you got a great start on Jake, and I think Jake's heavy shorts weighed him down at the beginning. And you did touch the wall first, because it was touch the wall and back. So you were off to a great start. Yeah, but he did this kind of crazy kickoff thing when it turned around. Right, against the wall. That was why. Go, Allie, go! Come on, come to the wall, come to the wall.

Stop early, Allie, wait. Oh, my God, wait. That's not the wall, that's the hot tub. Vanessa's going, I got wet. That's what she's saying. There was a discrepancy at the end Because technically Allie went back to where she started from

Which I thought was the race Jake touched the wall of the hot tub Which was before the end So Jake of course gets all excited That he beat a pregnant woman Meanwhile Jake was a D1 athlete in college Also you tried to hold me back You tried to grab my feet

Yes I saw that too but I didn't say nothing I tried to grab your feet Yes you tried to grab my feet and hold me back What are you talking about Jake, that is such a ridiculous. I saw you. You're playing footsie with Jake.

I got the footage, man. I got it all on camera. Why would I ever want to touch your feet in any way? Because you wanted me to lose. I was trying to keep you in your lane, dude. There is no lane. I wanted you to lose. Grab your feet.

That's ridiculous. That's exactly what you know it. Okay. Let's look at replays. You racer. Camera's crazy. Racer's crazy. You racer.

At the end of the thing, it became this issue where we were discussing whether or not we We had to look at the footage. Allie admitted defeat. Jake barely beat, barely though. I mean, incredible that you came that close to losing to a pregnant woman. But I think I was a faster swimmer. It was just Jake was able to push off at a crazy rate. And I do believe that had been like a, just a real lap in like an Olympic sized pool.

I think Allie would have beaten you. If it was just straight swimming. Yeah, I really think so. Let's try, let's try one lap, like 150 meters straight away. Well, that's, that's all we have for pools. We're tapped out. Yeah, I'm not doing that. So we're probably not going to do this again.

I'm not getting in a swimsuit around you guys. But we did decide that after that, we said if we don't hate each other at the end of this, then we'll announce on Monday our big Endless Summer Kegger so that we can get together with a bunch of listeners and have a more fun version of that. Yeah, exactly. I think having that and having somebody else control the music is a great choice. Yeah, so we're going to do all of that, and we'll give you those details coming up in about 15 minutes. So we have that to look forward to, plus your ADD news after this quick break on K-Rock.