Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Little People, Big Problems (FULL SHOW 6/30)

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

Would you download an app where you order your favorite meal, knowing it'll never arrive? A new app in South Korea is designed to give you the dopamine hit of ordering food without the calories, and it sparks a surprisingly heated debate about whether we should import it to the US. Things got even weirder when Vanessa admitted she "pretend-orders" food on delivery apps just for fun. We also heard from short people about the everyday struggles tall people never think about, from getting patted on the head and climbing grocery store shelves to shopping for heels in the kids' section. Ironically, comedian Brad Williams stopped by the studio and answered even more questions about life as a little person. Plus we debut a brand-new game, Is It Younger or Older Than America? You'll be shocked by the ages of things like pianos, bourbon, and Princeton University. And finally, Ally secretly records herself asking her wife for a threesome. The answer isn't exactly what she was hoping for... but she does get permission for a virtual fling, with a few very specific caveats

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7.

KROQ FM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Oh, hell yeah. Welcome to your Tuesday. It's KROQ, Klein Alley Show.

Final day of June. We've got lots to get into this morning. Lots to give you as well. My boner has not gone away yet It is remaining It will remain until the end of the month And then it will be gone forever Yesterday

Ali and I had an unexpected surprise Here at KROQ Which we weren't prepared for Even though our boss said I told you guys Our boss is going C now He's just like typing wrong names left and right Yeah he had texted us about this interview With LA Magazine

and he failed to spell Alina Abovian's name properly. So none of us knew that we were going to be talking to her and we would have dressed and acted very differently. Klein was so upset. So mad about this. I would have worn my other black shirt. My good black shirt. It was a Monday morning.

We were all disheveled and whatnot. And he sent us some texts. He goes, hey, reminder after the show, you're going to meet your friend Ellen. Yes, he said Ellen. And I said, all right, I don't know who this guy thinks we're friends with named Ellen, But I guess I thought I was that lesbian that I thought it was Ellen DeGeneres that we had that hosted our gay, whatever the thing was.

And then I would have had a boner. Yeah, I would have had a lady boner. But it wasn't the case. So I walked downstairs and there she is, Elena Bovian. Looking great as ever. When are we going to see the magic? Because it was video, right? Video, yes.

There is video. I can't wait to see it. There's a lot of video. My favorite part was when she asked what we can attribute our success to. And Klein said, you. Jesus, man. Stand by that. Oh, my God.

And I think it was the moment that you joined us on the air. Great. Because that was the turning point. You're such a legend. And she was like, wow, thank you so much. It was really annoying to have Allie there, to be honest. It was. I was such a C-block.

First of all, she's sitting in this seat. We walked down to Lena Bovian, former KTLA reporter, beautiful woman. And she's got these seats next to her. And Allie, and I'm kind of starting to make the move for the seat next to her. and Allie, like, does this thing where she puts her big-ass pregnant ass and blocks me. She, like, boxes me out so I can't sit in the good seat. And then she, like, does this, like, you know, little, like, Shuffle?

She shuffles over and boxes me out, and then she kind of hops up on the chair and blocks me. Now I'm off to the side, like, it's a really terrible situation. I was giving you a better camera angle. Yeah, right. And then every time I try to kind of squeeze in to make some eye contact and get some flirting going on, And Allie kind of jumps in and goes, you know, Klein's married. I didn't say that. I'm like, God damn it, Allie, shut up.

By the way, this man's very married. I just wanted to let everyone know. I see that ring on that finger. It's so annoying. Kept that ring finger in my pocket the whole time. Hit it away. Anyway. We'll get into it.

Because there were several weird things that happened. Yeah, I mean, we both had. Especially after the fact. Well, don't talk about that on the air. That's great. Oh, I forgot. Let's wait. Yeah, thanks, Vanessa.

Let's wait. Anyway. Then there was like photo shoots with us, but then this other guy wanted individual photos. It's really strange. Yeah, the whole thing's weird. What is happening? Yeah, anyway, it's a big day yesterday here at KROQ. Apparently, they're doing something.

I don't know when. August, LA Magazine is going to do something about our show, which is cool, I guess. Get some press and a real publication for a change, as opposed to all the other radio trades that no one knows about. Congratulations. There's a blurb about you guys in Radio Inc. I'm like, what the hell is that? Dot edu.

It's the worst website ever. A decent show in store for you today, minus everything that just happened. And we get into it all after this on KROQ. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley Show. If you need us, phones, text line, the same number as yesterday. Hopefully, same as tomorrow, 800-520-1067 to interact with the show, win yourself some stuff, or join us in a moment for Alley Knows the News, 100 bucks in your future. All you got to do is answer some questions about things going on in the world.

Perhaps you've heard it before and never actually participated. Today is your day to take Allie's money. She's got that pregnancy brain setting in big time. So now would be a great time to take the money from a newly pregnant woman at 800-520-1067. And someone pointing out yesterday that when we were chatting with Joey Chestnut, we got some vintage Allie that we hadn't heard in a while. And I don't remember this, but... What's going on?

Meet the style. Morning Times blogger here. Just wanted to point out in Allie's quest to ask the longest questions ever, it took her 20 seconds to ask Joey a question on today's podcast. If I were to do the math, considering that Joey ate 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, that's around 2.5 hot dogs less than trying to get to 3 in 20 seconds. Allie, you've got to turn down the question. That's some good hot dog math right there,

that it took you two and a half hot dogs to ask him one question. You know, I think what he's referring to is when I told him about my hot dog eating competition. So, that was part of my question. Part of the question. Yes. Because the question was a quick question, which was how do you fit all them hot dogs in your stomach? I remember where you ended up. It was because there was no room left in my body.

So, how do you make room? That was my question. But I had to explain that I tried to eat six hot dogs in ten minutes. So, it took me an extra ten seconds to tell him that. Yeah, when Joey joins us in the studio, which he'll do after he participates on the 4th of July, we'll let everyone else call in to brag about their greatest food accomplishments because a lot of people have done some things in their day that they're very proud of.

I mean, if it's got high and finished a couple of boxes of Lucky Charms in one sitting, that for you, that's your Joey Chestnut moment. No one gets to brag in the same way that guy does because he is the number one ranked in the world. But if you think about all of the times that you go, I had a pizza, I thought I was going to have a slice, I looked down a few minutes later, I'd eaten the whole thing, and then I was still hungry and ordered another pizza. That is a food accomplishment, and that is what makes, that's why all these other countries that are coming to visit us in America now can't get over how much food we have, how many options we have, how deep fried it is, how big the portions are, and they're jealous. I would love for the people who visited for the World Cup to attend the Hot Dog Eating Championship and just see how America is the most America.

That is as American as we get. Do they even do food competitions like that in Europe? No, because it's all haggis. They're like, let's eat cheese over the course of three hours. Who cares about that? But we've got lots to get to on today's show, including but not limited to your chance to win your way into multiple water parks in Southern California. That'll be happening starting at 9 and every hour thereafter. And Vanessa said she's fed up with being short.

So a little bit later on today, we will allow all of you shorties out there to join us for a little round of short people, big problems. Because apparently Vanessa claims that she's sick and tired of random people trying to pick her up, which she says happens all the time. So if you are a shorty and you've dealt with the downside of being short, there's the obvious things we know about, like can't reach things, et cetera. Can't see a concert. Can't go on all the rides at Disney, whatever. But when you're an adult and you're a shorty, you must know what it's like. And Vanessa said she's had it.

I don't know if she's going to get those leg extensions, but I'm open to crowdfunding that. Or just stilts. Oh, stilts would be the best. Oh, stilts would be great. Vanessa, if we got you stilts, would you wear them around here just to see how they fit? For one day, one show. Then you're not going to be getting good at them. Yeah, what if you really enjoy living life tall?

If we get you the tall-y stilts, too. I'm not even talking like the couple inches. No, the ones that make you like... The Savannah Bananas guy? Yeah, the guy that's like 10 feet tall. She wouldn't be able to walk into the building. He's so great. She wouldn't be able to sit down.

Vanessa, we will get you stilts if you want to live life like a tall person for one day. But I think that you should commit to them if they work out for you. No, that's silly. I want them to be so high that she can park on the first floor and then just step onto the sky bridge. Yeah, just her head, just walk by the window. Do you wear platforms or high heels or do anything? She wears heels. I wear heels sometimes, yeah.

Oh, okay. You have a girl? You have high heels that make you feel taller, right? Yeah. So think of these as just like higher heels. And funnier. And much funnier. Yeah, way funnier.

I'm going to need some long-ass pants. Yes. Of course. No problem. We will sew all your pants together into one long pant. If that's your issue, long pants, don't worry about that. We got your long pants covered. But even it'd be funny in shorts.

Yeah. If you're going to go stilt-y, though, I mean, it would just be great if you just showed up one day taller and just watching people react. On a day where we're a lot of guests. Yeah. Please don't. One of those days. Please help yourself to snacks.

My anxiety would be off the roof. No, no. That's not an expression, but okay. Then learn to juggle. What's the expression? You're going to be off the roof with your long legs. Yeah. This is going to be very exciting, Vanessa.

So make a note of that. Add that to the notes on my desk. We'll get Vanessa stilts. We'll use the slush fund. Yeah, we do have some money we've been holding on to for just the right thing, and this may be the right thing. Because I'm sure stilts are not cheap. I don't know.

They shouldn't be that expensive, but I bet they are. I just want even to do a social experiment and have Vanessa have a day in the life of a tall person. Yeah. You know those parties where they have, like, the height parties where everybody's the same height? Like, depending on what height you are, they give you, like, little boots? Have you seen that before?

I have no idea what you're talking about. So, like, if you're Vanessa, you get, like, these bigger boots. So if you're Klein, you get even bigger boots because he's smaller. And then the tallest would be Johnny. So he has, like, one-inch boots. So everybody's the same height at a party. I've seen that. You have?

Yeah, on Instagram. Yeah, it's cool. And everyone then is... Cool. It's cool. Sounds really not cool. Yeah, right? Everyone has to sign shoes.

Our stilts, by the way, are about $100. Great, done. Everybody signs, like, little stilts. I'm done. We could do Jake's weird convoluted boot sizing thing, or we could just get some stilts for $100. Way to overcomplicate a very simple concept. All right, great.

We'll take a quick break. We've got people on the phone already that want Allie's money. If you'd like to call and play, 800-520-1067. The exact $100 you could win from Allie right now. If you don't win, we'll go towards buying Vanessa Stiltz. So I recommend you win it because it's good for you. But if you don't, you're still going to win because Vanessa will be on Stiltz pretty soon. Come back with that after this on KROQ.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, as we say around these parts, taking Allie's money from her. All you've got to do is answer some questions about the news. Do better than Allie. She will leave the K-Rock studios and be sequestered in the hall, forcing co-workers to make small talk with her, which is the worst part of their day, but could be the best part of your day. I'm making eye contact with a couple of them now. Oh, man. They better hurry up. They better microwave and run.

You better microwave and run or she's going to be out there talking to you about God knows what. Let's say hi to David listening to us in orange this morning. Good morning, David. Morning. Good. Got five questions about things happening in the world. All you got to do is answer these questions quickly, confidently, hopefully, accurately. No cheating.

If you do better than Allie, she will be forced to pay you her money. Thousands of dollars have been paid to people just like you. It's time for your edition of Allie Knows the News. She's out of the KROQ studios, and here we go. Allie Knows the News. This man who has hailed for courage and has just received the Kennedy Center's Mark Twain Prize. Which man was just given this prize,

the Mark Twain Prize from the Kennedy Center? mark ruffalo mark ruffalo great guess if you don't know the answer in this game just always guess mark ruffalo we go to question number two a plane landing at jfk claims it was hit by what in the sky a meteor meteor go to question number three medicare is going to start covering what drug for the first time ever? Diabetes pills. Diabetes pills. We go to question number four.

These twins were spotted in public for the first time in years. Very rare to see them out in public, yet they were spotted, captured on camera. Which twins? The Olsen twins. The Olsen twins. And finally, U.S. soccer. Not a

game today, but they are playing tomorrow. which country is the U.S. playing in their first game in the knockout round of World Cup action? Bosnia. Bosnia. All right. Bring Allie in. We'll score it together.

See how you did. Trying to get easy. Want to pay the people. Nothing like having an extra $100. You could blow through. Summer barbecue essentials. Allie is reentering KROQ. The studio is right now.

David is in orange. You want your money. And we go to question number one. And this man, who is called Courageous, has just been bestowed the Mark Twain Award at the Kennedy Center. It's a big award if you get that Mark Twain Award. Who did it go to this time? Is it Bill Nye the Science Guy? I don't know.

Oh, man. I thought you had it when you said Bill. He said Mark Ruffalo. Interesting guess. You had Bill right, but it's Bill Maher. Bill Maher. A courageous and comedy winning the Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award. And we go to question number two.

No one gets the point on question number one. Question two. A plane that was landing at JFK claims that it hit what while in the sky? Oh, I think a drone. All right. He said meteor. But the correct answer is drone indeed. And there's been apparently a lot more close calls than ever before with the drones and planes.

This one landed safely, but does claim that it did actually hit. The drone hit the plane. Well, if you think about the matchup, plane is always going to win. I mean, drone's so tiny. Yeah, the plane can just keep going. A bird can take out a plane. Yeah, that's it. You get a little bird in that engine, boom, it's done.

That's what happened with, I think that's why Sully had to land in the river. I think so, yeah. Because it was like a bird, a goose. Guts can get all in the propellers and stuff. You don't think there's guts? There's not guts inside of a drone? There's like stronger guts in the drone. Yeah, metal guts, dude.

Go to question number three. Allie's up 1-0 as we go to question 3 right now. These twins, rarely spotted together and rarely spotted in public, were spotted out in public and photographed. The Olsen twins. Oh, man. I don't know why that's such big news, but it's everywhere. Olsen twins.

I still love the Olsen twins. Spotted. And he got that as well, so he's on the board. Also, turns out this guy's a creep because he knew that, so we go now he's on the board, so he gets a point. Allie gets another point. Allie's up by one still with two questions left. How do you make news every time you step out in public?

That means that for years, you're not stepping out in public at all. How do you avoid that? Question number four. Medicare will start covering this drug for the first time ever. GLP-1s? Weight loss drugs? He said diabetes pills, but the correct answer is for the first time ever, they're going to start covering those weight loss jabs.

Old people's MPEG. So if you want to start getting that summer bod ready to go, you got that Medicare, now's the time. And that loose skin is going to be something else. Looser skin. Looser skin summer, baby. And we go to this final question. I don't think it matters for you, David,

but Allie, it's just taken off now in a commanding lead with one final question. U.S. not playing soccer today, but they do have a game tomorrow against which country at the first game of the knockout round for U.S.? Bosnia and Herzegovina. Allie can find it on a map, right? You can find it on a map? I can find it on a map.

Boom. Let's bring in a map to prove Allie can't. David, sadly, you did not beat Allie in this round of Allie Knows the News. What must you shamefully admit? My name is Dave from Orange, and Allie knows the news. There you go. Thank you for playing, and tomorrow morning, another chance to win some of Allie's money, which you could all spend on illegal fireworks.

You've said before that in an effort to try to make your day better, we make our days much worse, especially our personal lives, personal relationships, because we share far too much on the show. The amount of damage control we have to do when we get home is massive. It's nonstop. it's like four hours of damage every morning and then 20 hours of damage control at home just to get ready to get back to like homeostasis right starts all over again and then i look and i'm like oh man we gotta talk about this elena bovian thing jesus christ i just i just put that fire out at home and now i gotta start that fire again and now ali had to sit down with her wife

yesterday and have the uncomfortable conversation about your fun or summer challenge which is to have a one-night stand yeah and really the only thing i thought i could do was have a threesome with my wife because otherwise it would just be blatant cheating and i did ask an ai dating coach about this i got assigned an ai personality to talk to about how i'm going to convince my wife to do this she gave me some advice your wife needs to feel safe and genuinely enthusiastic about this with a real person go have that conversation tonight and come back and tell me what you've learned all right well i'm gonna do it and you know the door's not closed on you either just saying that's still a possibility hey i appreciate the interest but that's not my lane

so she rejected me so ali got rejected by the ai dating coach even though she hit on her but she said you need to go talk to your wife and sit down and have the uncomfortable conversation yeah because we had had a threesome years ago and she said she never wanted to do it again right so i thought the door was closed but i wanted to ask her why what didn't she like what made her feel uncomfortable can we work through it so this was ali once again sitting down with her wife having a conversation this is post dinner does she know she's being recorded or no okay great now she knows here we go i don't smell anything b.o wait what oh this did start with her asking me to smell her armpits oh my god yeah is that like lesbian foreplay or i don't know what she

i think because i have a higher sense of smell being pregnant she wanted to know if i could smell her b.o so that was the experiment that was the post-dinner experience this was at the table. Man, I'm forced to do that. This is where we're bringing the plates back into the kitchen. Oh, man. What a terrible way to... We eavesdropped it on the wrong part of this conversation. This is our foreplay. Someone said, you're going to eavesdrop it on two lesbians talking about a threesome.

I would have said, that's a conversation I want to hear. And yet, this is what I get. It's like so terrible how excited I was for what I just got. I don't smell anything. The O. Oh, yeah, I do kind of smell it. No, we love each other. And everyone has a laugh about that?

That is the wrong reaction. She needed to shower, and then she did. Well, anyway. Then I got to the question. Right. It's a nice way to suck all the sexuality out of this conversation before you get into it. You know how we did Vanessa's summer challenge or whatever? Do you know what my summer challenge was there?

I think one was a threesome. Yes. Okay. So I just wanted to know, when we did have one, what made you uncomfortable? I don't want to talk about it. Yikes. We started off in a negative place. But there were some closure at the end.

And the doors opened. Because I don't like thinking about it. All of it's uncomfortable. Well, is there anything that would not make you feel uncomfortable about it? Like if we downloaded an app and started swiping on people, we could go on a date. Oh, my God. This makes me want to throw up. A date?

What are you talking about? The B.O. or the conversation? I think both. A little both. A little both. It's hard to keep track of what's making you want to throw up here. So what you are pitching to her, it seems like a pretty... Like, let's just see.

Let's just go on a date with somebody. Dipping her toe in it sort of thing. Let's just download it now. She seems like she's got none of this. No. Throw up a date? Honey, I think I'm demisexual. Which is like...

What does that mean? That you only... Like dummies. Oh, she's demisexual? I am in love with dummies. That's why I picked you, honey. I'm a demisexual. Which is like...

What does that mean? But you only are sexually attracted to people you love. Well, you can love anyone for a minute. No. Wow. So she's so like, it's so funny because she's such a social butterfly. I've seen her get people's numbers. I've seen her hit on, at least it looks like.

But maybe she's just thinking this is all friendly. I've seen her get phone numbers from bartenders before. She's hanging out with friends, all topless friends. Dancing in the backyard, topless with other friends. And you claim that's just like a workout or something. yes and the thing is you all make fun because you think she's cheating on me constantly and she gets upset because she's like i would never even dream of doing that i am dummy sexual and these people are too smart i keep my love for you though that's the jedi mind trick stuff she's

pulling well what am i going to do then about this challenge because i'm supposed to have a one-night stand what that's not a threesome well that's the only reason i thought we could do it would be a threesome but if you're out then i gotta go rogue are you serious i mean i have to complete it. I love it that you're taking this job so seriously. Of all of the stupid things we've said we have to do around here. I have to cheat on you. When we said it's time for you to chrome your

dome, Allie, you said, I'm not doing that. Moving on. And this one, you're like, I have to do it. I have to do it. There's no it'ssands or buts about it. So what am I going to do? Shut up. I guess do it virtually. Oh. Go. Do it. Really? Do it. Would that turn you on

if I did that? No. See what happens. Oh, what the What does, in her opinion, what does virtually mean? Well, I talked to her about a couple options. Do it and see what happens. You are going to owe, I'm going to have a list of things that you owe me for the rest of my life. Oh, my God. I've been virtual.

I don't owe you anything. Yeah, you will. Maybe I'll just hook up with, like, an OnlyFans model. No, stop. What about a robot? Like, AI? Sure. That's fine.

So, you've worn her down. So, we reached a conclusion. So, hold on. So the negotiation went, I don't want to do the threesome. You can do the one night stand virtually. And then you talked about what virtual is. And you said, maybe I'll meet like an OnlyFans person. And then she didn't like that idea.

So she settled on AI. But you kind of did some bad negotiating there because you went right from real human to robot like so quick. Well, she suggested virtually. But you know what? Keep playing it because she did come around. We talked for a while. And then she kind of suggested that she might be interested. There's a part of me that wants it.

Like, how fun could that be? Like, I do see, I mean, it's... What is that? It's sizzling. Is that her armpits? That's bacon. Oh, you guys are making... It's our dessert, bacon.

Hold on. We rub each other in bacon. Well, you guys have the conversations about the threesomes followed by bacon. It sounds like the greatest house ever. There's a part of me that wants it. What are you cooking right there? We're doing the dishes. Oh, I thought you already had dinner.

I was going to say, are you having after-dinner bacon? I love what's going on in your house. How fun could that be? Like, I do see, I mean, especially if this person looks like Taylor Swift. Right. I knew you were going to say that. So now she's, like, getting all, if there's, if the person is, if she's physically attracted to the person. Well, now she's, like, if it was a person like Taylor Swift, who I'm already in love with, then we could do it that way.

Then her little dummy sexual thing works. Exactly. As long as they look like someone she's already in love with. Yeah. And then I was, like, if we were to meet Taylor Swift, and then would you have sex with her? And she was like, well, if we all vibed with each other, and I was like, well, that's never going to happen. Right, this is such a ridiculous hypothetical because that's never going to happen anyway. So the question is, can we find someone that slightly resembles her if you're drunk enough and the lighting is dim enough?

Right. There's a lot of things, variables that have to happen. All right, well, you have between now and Labor Day, but it's like you've laid the groundwork and it wasn't a no. I mean, it started as like a pretty hard no, and then it ended with like, there's some bacon and some maybes. Yes, bacon and maybes. Hey, hey, hey. That's right. Come on in.

We got a quick break. We smell like BO. I don't like you. We will be back in a moment. That's what we're all thinking right now, Taylor. Thank you. Jay Rock, Fine Alley Show. Let's get into your ADD news.

Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. Lots to get into this morning. Lots to give you as well. If you like water parks, you like monster trucks, nothing says America more than monster trucks and water parks. We'll make both those things happen for you coming up this morning. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. Used to be that when a car crash happened, you knew most of the time it was some human's fault. Now, with all the self-driving cars in the world, it could be a person, could be a robot, or anywhere in between. And this Tesla crash that happened yesterday in Simi is a very strange story. This woman driving a Tesla through a Target shopping center, probably not going that fast, but then she lost control of the car. The car careened over the curb and slammed into an urbane cafe. hit a woman who happened to be walking by the cafe unfortunately that woman passed away she was 79 years old other people were injured they're trying to figure out exactly what happened and who

was at fault this woman who was driving was not under the influence or anything as far as they can tell there were also three kids in the car thankfully all of them were okay but as somebody who has one of the first teslas i have an old ass 2014 i can't even really use cruise control on that car anymore because it will randomly slam on the brakes because it thinks it sees something that's not really there. I think cars can get senile. Cars were given a lot of, quote, safety features to make us, you know, save us from crashing into things.

But sometimes those safety features, they backfire. And I have a car that does a similar thing. It sees like a shadow and all of a sudden it slams the brakes on. And then you could easily get into a bad accident. I don't know how to turn that off. In this particular case, who the hell knows? That almost happened to me yesterday when I was driving back to work. Like, the Tesla literally skid and, like, almost rear-ended me yesterday.

And it was one of those safety feature things that malfunctioned. I also think, though, that as we are depending more and more on the cars to drive for us, we are much worse drivers now. We're paying less and less attention. We were already barely paying attention. Yes, and now I think for a variety of reasons. But primarily because at this point, most cars will beep if you get near something or they'll, you know, give you some indication. So many beeps. Most people are kind of like, ah, I'm just going to half pay attention.

Yeah, I just don't know why this would happen. Why would the car suddenly accelerate that fast that it could go over a curb? Well, last week, there was a Tesla that crashed into the house, and somebody died also in that crash. Yeah, and is that the car malfunctioning and just all of a sudden accelerate? Like, a person wouldn't... Like, the self-driving... Elon Musk said that it doesn't make sense. Like, you know, Tesla has some sort of, like you guys said, safety feature that prevents that from happening, but obviously it is happening.

But just like my car sees a shadow and thinks that there's something in its way, it could easily not think something's in its way when there is, right? It could go both ways. It could not see the curb and then think that that's where the road is, and that's not where the road is. That's where this innocent old lady is, and she's just walking by. Listen, I don't know how often this happens with other car makers. It seems to always be Tesla.

Crunch the numbers. It's been a lot of them. But lately, yes, it does feel like that's the way. Waymo's and Tesla seems to be smashing into things. You can imagine somebody who's just walking down the street in a Target shopping center, walking by an urbane cafe, and then all of a sudden this car just plows right into you. It's terrifying. That was like when you got hit in the Target parking lot,

when that man ran into you and backed into you and fell down, and we all laughed. I got no money for that. No, you did not. You still need to see that video, by the way. They won't release it, I'm telling you. Still looking for that footage. Come on, Target. You hurt that poor man.

Step it up. That old man is never going to be the same after he backed into Alley. I mean, showed up in a different car, shenanigans. We are paying a lot more for everything right now due to inflation, but that doesn't mean that we can't still spend money on stupid crap. And here's the next dumb thing that we're spending our hard-earned money on, high-end ice. We have our next viral grocery item, and it is not a dessert. It is not a snack.

Yeah, it's actually something that you wouldn't think you'd find in the freezer aisle. We're talking about frozen ice cubes. Yeah, frozen ice cubes. Aldi is selling a box of these for $4.99. What? The Ultra Pure Cubes are designed to melt slower and keep drinks cold without watering them down. So like for an old-fashioned. Hey, you got it.

Others are questioning, though, if the $5 price tag is worth it for something you can quite literally make at home. So Ultra Pure Large Ice Cubes. If you're going to buy five, you're spending five bucks on ice, something that you can make for free at home. But if you have a specialty drink or something, or you just want really high-end ice, There are some people who make a lot of money creating high-end ice for catering, like for events and parties and all kinds of stuff. You've seen those spheres. Yeah, the balls of ice look cool.

I don't really know the reason. I guess if you're a whiskey drinker or something like that. It's $5 worth. Five bucks for frozen water? No. Here's the thing, though. If you're making a good drink, like let's say you've got a good bottle of whatever it is,

and you're putting it over crappy ice that's just made with tap water that you froze, Because it'll melt down. Yeah, you're ruining the drinks, supposedly. I understand the argument behind it. I'm not that fancy. Would I go buy fancy ice? No, I wouldn't buy fancy ice. But if the cube was there.

Ice is great. Ice is great. In drinks only. In drinks only. Play the whole clip. Only in drinks. Did you say in drinks only after that? That's what I'm telling you to say every time Omar plays it.

You better believe it. So the World Cup's getting heated. There were a couple of shootouts yesterday that ended in upsets. Germany lost to Paraguay in a penalty shootout or kickoff or whatever they call it. Morocco also won over the Netherlands when it came down to penalty kicks. And all this action is making people want to have sex like crazy. Tinder has said they've seen a 60% increase in matches since the start of the World Cup. So matches happening on and off the field.

And nine months from now, they predict there will be a World Cup baby boom in America. because one way to change the population crisis in your country is to bring the World Cup to your country. Well, if you think about it, there's always that Super Bowl baby boom that seems to happen in the cities that win the Super Bowl. That's something that's been... Because everyone's so happy and hyped.

There's a good mood, and people are partying and drinking, and they're like, you know, you're more likely, when you're less stressed and you're more happy, you're more likely to probably have sex. So now that seems to be happening all the time. I think a lot of women are getting on the apps right now because there are new men entering the dating pool in America because I think most heterosexual women

that I know that are online dating, they're like, I went through all the guys. They're all dead. There's none left. It's over. There's no good American men. But maybe there's a Bosnian that's visiting. Exactly.

That will treat me with any sort of decency. Yeah. That's a sad state of affairs for us American men when they're like, just hopefully there's just another guy that came into this country. That will return a phone call. It won't ghost me.

All right. Well, anyway, we get into a brand new hour of the show. We do it next. It will be the greatest hour of your life. That's a guarantee. Money back on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ.

If you are a shorty, this is a good hour for you to be listening to KROQ because Vanessa claims that she's sick and tired of being short. She wants to change all that. You may actually buy her some stilts before the show is over today. But the question for you, and we'll get to this a little bit later, is what is the worst part? We call this thing short people, big problems because Vanessa claims

that a new big problem she's encountered is a lot of times people try to pick her up. She hates it. I know that was a pet peeve of Brad Williams as a very short man.

He said, I never ever want to be picked up and I don't ever even want to be asked to be picked up. I am an adult man. Right. Just because I'm small doesn't mean people...

I would love to get picked up. Like, I think I'm that lazy. Like, pick me up. Go, take me. I don't care. Right? Grass is greener. Put me in a baby barn.

Grass is greener situation And a little bit later this hour, we'll talk to you, short people. Short people with big problems. Could score yourself a trip to a wild, well, to a bunch of different water parks where probably you won't be able to go on any of the rides. But still. Lazy River It. It's Lazy River It.

We'll make that happen for you coming up later this hour. And then, of course, 9 a.m. sharp. Be ready to call and win your way into the water parks as well as we keep you nice and cool all summer long at KROQ. Also get into some clickbait. But in a moment, there's something that's happening in another country that we need to determine. And is it worthy of an import or do we export it forever?

This is something that I think we've talked about versions of before, but now it is taking off in one of the Koreas. I won't tell you which one. We'll do that next. Some of the greatest things we have in this country, happy 250th birthday, by the way, America, came from other countries originally. Everything from meatballs to menage a trois started elsewhere. And that's why we have to look at what's happening around the world and decide, is this worthy of an import or do we export it and keep it where it is? This one comes to us from South Korea. And it's something that we've talked about versions of, Allie,

but I don't think we've ever actually played around with this concept. This would infuriate me so much. I feel like you've inadvertently done this. I have, and I've been fooled, and it's a terrible feeling. But apparently if you go into this with the intention of this new app that they're using, maybe it changes everything. People save money, lose weight. Will they? I don't know.

Listen to this. A South Korean app has gone viral for letting people pretend to order food. So it looks like a food delivery app, except there's one major difference. Food Never Comes is designed to act like food delivery apps, but nothing actually happens when you hit order. So if you've ever tried to order food and you screwed something up or you didn't actually approve it or said that one final verification or whatever and the food never shows up, that's a terrible feeling. And your wife has done that many, many times. I think the last time she only ordered utensils, right? Four sets of utensils.

Four sets of utensils are on, but no food. So I had heard about different websites that give you this dopamine hit where you're online shopping, you're buying things, but then when you click buy, you're not really buying anything. You're just pretending to buy. You were saying during Prime Days, you were doing a lot of add to cart, add to cart without actually ever having the intention of buying. Yeah, and Vanessa has 75 items in her Amazon cart that she doesn't buy. Oh, that was last week. Who knows what that number's up to now? Actually, also, I pretend to DoorDash all the time.

What? You do what? Yeah, because I'm like, okay, let's see if there's something I want. And then I'll fill out my car, and then time has passed, and now I know that I shouldn't get it. So it's like I'm pretending like, okay, maybe I will get it. You put a whole order. You open up DoorDash. You scroll through, look at the pictures of the food.

You add, add, add, add. You make modifications, too, and stuff? Yeah, like, maybe I'll order it. But then if time has passed where it will, then it's like, okay, well, now you can't get it, girl. You took too long. You can still get it. I mean, it's there for you. What, do you wait until the restaurant closes?

Now it's past your bedtime. Wait, so you'll put in all the stuff. You'll get excited about it. Like, I'll see my order, and I can be like, okay, you know what? I can make this. I'm trying not to spend money, but I'm also like, what if? So, you're basically just testing the waters. Exactly.

You're seeing if you really want to order food by ordering the food, but not actually ordering it? Yes. But do you ever get, you know, even if your plan is I'm just going to go ahead and get the dopamine hit of putting an order together, do you ever sometimes look at the order and go, that looks good, and then hit send and order it? If it's sushi, I'm like, you know what? I can't make this at home. Yeah. Can't make any of this.

Well, that's interesting, but for me, when I'm ordering food, there is a clear decision that I want food, and I even know what restaurant I want it from, or I know what type of food I want, and then that ordering process is happening immediately because we're all starving. I think this is different. I've set up an order just so I can hit press and send as I get in the car. Right. Yeah, that's how I think most people look at it. Now, there's people that are going, I think I'm kind of hungry, but I have no idea what I feel like.

And then they start scrolling the app. That's when I think you start getting more into the idea of what could I be eating. I think we're all blown away by the possibilities. Well, we could be eating anything right now. If I'm going to fake buy anything, let it be the coolest, biggest thing ever. Why are you going to fake buy like a taco combo platter? I'm not going to fake buy ramen. I want to fake buy a million-dollar mansion.

Right. Like, then I want to fake buy stuff, like designer clothes or something crazy. But here's the thing that's interesting. No one judges. We don't judge each other that we spend time going on Zillow or Redfin and looking at houses that we know we can't afford. And being like, hmm, that walk-in closet's a little small. Yeah, probably wouldn't buy that one anyway. Only three pools?

Shut up. But, you know, but we all do that anyway because that's a fun way to live. That's the dopamine hit. I don't do that. Bring it down to, well, Jake, I mean, you're a shack guy. You're always going to be a shack guy. Yeah, I look at other shacks. Yeah, Jake looks at all the shacks available.

No, it's not a shack. Three windows, whoa. What? Three windows? That's a shack. That's a shed. That's insane. That's a window per wall.

So do we import this, Allie? Nothing actually happens when you hit order. The app is a so-called dopamine site aimed at giving users the buzz of buying something without spending money. I don't like this. I like it. His opinion, and just so that people don't get confused and accidentally order food that they didn't want to begin with, it's called Nothing Ever Comes or whatever. It's called No Food Comes or something.

No Food Comes. But the thing is, if you have this app, don't put it next to your actual DoorDash app. Right. Because if you order for the wrong app, the food won't come. And the right app, it will come. Yeah, this is much funnier as a prank app where I can put it on my friend's phone. You just pass it around, guys. Add everything that you want to add.

Add what you want. And then just feel nothing's arriving. Some people save a lot of money by just pretending. So I know you're big on, you're very cost-conscious. So would that appeal to you in any sense? No, because I've got to eat. Then I'm still hungry. Yeah, then you're still hungry.

Yeah, I've got to eat. I'd rather just go ahead and spend the money and eat. Yeah, I don't know about this. I just think, I mean, we are so deep. It's a dopamine hit, right? So when you press buy, it gives you that rush. And then people are saying, hey, I don't actually need the product. I just need the rush of, yeah, I'm with you.

Two thumbs down. Boom. All right, is that an import or export, Ali? What do you think? an app that allows us... I think you should ask her a couple more questions about it and she'll change her mind again. She could go back. I could see her. She loved it a moment ago. Now she's two things down. You know what? I don't know. Boo.

Oh. I think I'm going to strongly export this. That's an export. Keep it South Korea. What a waste of time. That's for you. Omar, is that an import or an export? You know, I'll import it for Vanessa because she enjoys it. What do you have currently, Vanessa, in your

DoorDash card? Anything in there? Let's see. Maybe I forgot to delete. Let me see. I'd be curious to see what she's got in there right now. And I wonder if you would just order fantastical foods. Yeah, like decadent stuff. Yes. Stuff that's like so unhealthy for you, but you would love to eat it. Or like, you know, tomahawk steak or something to be delivered to your house.

Because it'd be sad if you're playing this little game, this fake dopamine game, and it's like fast food. It's like meal for one. Right, right. Vanessa, what do you have in there? Actually, my car is empty. Oh. I'd like to get you that. Trust me, I do this all the time because it's like, okay, there's a chance I'll buy this, but there's also a chance I won't.

Where's your go-to? What restaurant do you always hit up? I always go to this one sushi place. This place calls Soronatown for Mexican food. Sometimes I do ramen. I do a little pho. But these places have never actually delivered you food ever? Yeah, I've ordered food sometimes.

Sometimes I look up sandwiches. Which one do I really want? Different places. I could see you doing it for a sandwich. That big Italian one. It's got everything on it. And then I'm like, I'll just have a turkey provolone. You know you're never going to order it.

You just keep adding more and more. Yeah, double me. Why not? Triple me. And then you play with the prize. Like, this is possible. But you know what? I'm going to make it happen.

781 said that they fake order things just like Vanessa does. That's crazy. 74 said this app is so stupid you wouldn't even have a dopamine high because you know it's not coming. Right, that's the one major difference, right? You would think going into it, you know I'm not. Maybe it should be like a roulette situation where like every 10th time it does come. But I want to say a bit of a trendsetter here because if you remember during COVID, it. I started planning these whole vacations

knowing I was never going to go on these vacations. I was just planning these elaborate vacations and then it came back to bite me in the ass because I accidentally got charged for one of them. The vacation part is the best part. The planning of the vacation is the worst part. I don't want to do all the planning and then not actually have the vacation. Alright, we're going to

vote export on this one. You can keep it, South Korea. Quick break. We're back in a moment. Are you a short person? Do you have big problems? We will take your calls in a moment. 800-520-1067. We will, Vanessa said she's sick and Tired of people trying to lift her up. But there's other reasons out there why being short sucks.

And we will try to make it worth your while by getting you into something. I don't know. We've got Monster. We've got a lot of stuff to give you today. So call now. Play next. 800-520-1067 after this. Short people, big problems.

K-Rock Klein Alley Show. What is going on? How tall are you? And why do you hate? Obviously, there's different reasons. I think pros and cons for both. I'm sure there's a lot of tall people out there that go, you know, life, everyone thinks it's great for us. But socks, it starts raining.

Hits me first. Other people say being tall sucks. I've got to get asked to do a lot of stuff. That extra .3 seconds. Yeah, you're getting soaked. How many more drops are hitting them before everyone else? Vanessa claims yesterday they were, her and Johnny were at some college shooting a video,

and everyone kept trying to pick Vanessa up, even though I don't think that was part of the video. Yeah, it was just something they wanted to do. No, he just, one of the directors hoisted her up without her knowing, and then she clearly didn't like it by her facial expression. For what reason? He put her up on the wall because I'm so tall. What?

Put her up on the wall? What the hell is happening? It was like a rock wall in front of a fountain, so he hoisted her up, turned around, and just plopped her there like a stuffed animal. And it's also because Johnny's so tall, so when we have to do shots that are next to each other, we look funny. So I'm like, ugh. It's great.

It's like Danny DeVito in Arnold Schwarzenegger. So they had to prop you on a wall so that you guys could be in the same shot. yeah but like getting picked up as like you're a grown-ass adult and then they pick you up like like come on dude it is funny i've seen one of these commercials that they did before and they do do weird stuff to try and it's for santa monica college i think but it's like they they put they put johnny really far away and vanessa really up close thinking that it would like even them out like an illusion or something it just looks strange that why are they so far away from each other

talking about the college. And I guess because they need to get in the same shot, but Johnny's like 6'2 or something like that. I'm 6'4. Johnny's 6'4.

Vanessa, what are you, 4'6? Are you the opposite of Johnny? No, I'm 4'11 and a half. Yeah, so anyway, the two of them, it's impossible to get them in the same shot,

so they've tried everything. This time they had to taper to a wall, I guess. This director is like Scorsese level. My God. That's incredible. What is he able to do?

Must be a good college if they put that much effort in the commercial. So anyway, That being said, we understand that being short comes with challenges. And now there's a bunch of people on the phone that would like to vent about those challenges. We start with David, who's 4'11". Hi, David.

Welcome to KROQ. Being short sucks. I'm 4'11", about 50 years old. Every time I go to the barbershop to get my hair cut, they always put me on that children's, that little wooden plank to raise me up. The booster seat? The booster seat to get my hair cut. Wait a minute. Don't they have those little things where they pump it up, pump it up, and raise the chair?

They're like, what is happening? Yeah, those chairs go up. Why do they put you on the box of shame? They always put me on that booster seat to get my hair cut. Why don't you go to a different place, man? Yeah, they're punking you clearly, man. You should go to a kid's haircut place. Those chairs go way higher.

They put you in one of those little taxi cabs and cut your hair. Hold on. Yeah, 411 is, that's pretty short. You don't need to say that, Al. He knows it. But, and then every, so you dread haircut day because you know that they're going to bring out that box and put you on it. Exactly.

But I mean, when I get my hair cut, I've been to a lot of places. The place I go right now where they put me in the booster seat, they always do my hair right. But at the same time, it's kind of like, kind of embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. I would think that's one, that's one of those places where you could feel like you are an equal.

You're sitting in a chair. You've got that giant cape blocking most of your tiny little body. And so, as a result, you would think that's one of the places where you feel like, I probably wouldn't be fucking walking in here. It's the great equalizer. It's always me with a lollipop. Is this the only place where you feel this way? Or do they try and give you a booster seat in restaurants, too?

Well, not the restaurants. But, like I said, mainly when I go get my hair cut, the person there, you know, he always puts me in the booster seat because I'm a little short. But, I mean, I just do it. I mean, but like I said, I get to leave with a lollipop, so it makes my day a little easier. Yeah, good for you. You make them. You should at least get one.

Let's say hi to Lisa on KRO. Hi, Lisa. Good morning. Good morning. Hi. Ashley Divitz. How tall are you? I'm 5'1", but the most annoying part about being short is that my daughter's three years

old, and she's more than half my size. So every time I pick her up and tell people I'm her mom, they're like, a thousand follow-up questions like oh her dad must be a giant or like how did that come out of you those are fun park conversations i'm sure so she's uh three years old and she's already over half your size yeah that's crazy wow i mean that's can you answer all those dumb questions you just asked uh most of the time i just try and walk away but it's hard because it's uh she's difficult Because you have such little legs. Come out here.

Trying to walk away from your question, but I can't. These tiny little legs. Damn. That's an annoying part about it, I guess, as well. Forget about all the things that physically you can't do, but it's the questions that come with it. Yeah, I know. And I'm sure you have to answer the same five questions over and over again. Laura, what's the worst part about being short?

Welcome to KROQ. This is little people, big problems or something like that. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? Hi. Going to concerts and just looking at the Jumbotron the whole time because you can't see the stage. Even if you've got great seats, it doesn't matter

because if there's one person in front of you, they are blocking you. They stand up and I'm having to look sideways. My son even tried to invent this little step that I could hide and sneak in and put it on the floor. It's horrible. You sound like a munchkin. You sound like you're... Your son invented a little portable stepstool to sneak into concerts?

Yes, that I could hide in my back or in my front, that they won't take it away from me, and then I could step and see the concert. And what happened? No, it worked, but then it's also uncomfortable, and one time I got busted and I had to take it back to my car. I don't know. Remember those Reebok pump shoes? They made your shoes tighter, but they could come up with some version of that, I guess.

Give you a couple inches. I do feel really bad at the concerts for short people. I think that is a really tough existence. And then you see an artist that you really, really love, and then you don't know. You're taking a gamble every time you go. Susie, what's the worst part about being short? Good morning. Hi, good morning, Peter.

I'm trying to get anything off of the top shelf of any grocery store ever, especially like heavy stuff like sodas like i'm weak and short and it's difficult well then you have to ask for help and there's no help around these grocery stores anymore oh yeah i've like waited in like the aisle and like my boyfriend even got me a bunch of like um uh platform trucks so that i'd be a little bit taller but i still need help and you end up just not getting the stuff you really want because it's just too hard to reach so you end up going with some crappier brand or something? Yeah.

That'd be good for me. Sometimes if I'm there like in the morning and there's not a lot of staff around, like, I'm kind of screwed. Yeah, that's tough right there because, I mean,

I actually, you know, as much as you guys joke about, you know, me being, there's nothing that makes me feel better about myself than when someone like that size will ask me

at a grocery store to help them get something off the top shelf. Yeah. I love helping them do that. Like, I love giving them the look because they give you the look like,

I need to ask you to help me grab this and I'm like, girl, I got you. And I grabbed the huge thing of Coca-Cola or the pasta they can't reach. So you like being tall, obviously, Johnny. There's no downsides?

Not at all, except some cars I don't fit in. But then it's like, why are you driving such a tiny car? Sherry, well, your old car, you couldn't fit in it at all. It was hilarious. Yeah, that was a tiny car. I used to bang my knees in that all the time. Hey, Sherry on KROQ, what is the worst part about being short for you?

Hey, good morning. The worst part is last night, my smoke alarm went off. Oh, man. And I tried to get a chair out of the corner to get up there to turn it off, but I was still, like, two inches away from reaching it. So I had to go hunting all over my house for this mini ladder, and I grabbed that and, like, a wooden spoon for my kitchen just to barely be able to reach it.

You have to get really creative. What do you think about that? A chair, a ladder, and a spoon just to finally reach it. push the thing. The smoke alarm. The smoke alarm, which is there to save your life. And it's beeping at you all the while, which just makes you more annoyed. Shaming you. Angie, you believe there's a different thing

that's the worst part about being short. What is it? Hi. I hate that people like pat me like a dog. I hate that. It's really annoying. It's so degrading. What does that mean, they pet you? Not like they pat me

on the head. They're like, oh, you're so cute. And they like pat you on the head. Like, that's so degrading. Yeah, that wouldn't happen to anyone that was, like, you know, like. Because he couldn't reach. Yeah, but I'm not even saying a tall person. But I don't think someone that was, like, 5'5 would go, would get pat on the head. I just don't think that would happen.

But I guess, what are you, 4-something? I'm 5'2". Vanessa, do you get pat on the head? Do you get pat on the head ever? Yes, and I'm like, excuse me? Like, you think you could just go like this? Or, like, I don't know, like, put your arm around my shoulder? Like, I'm not a headrest, my buddy.

Get out of here. Oh, so people will put their arm on your head like, this is my head. Oh, that's funny. That's so funny, too. All right, well, I'm glad we're getting this out there. I'm glad we're getting some more ideas of things to do with Vanessa. I didn't realize all these things I could be doing with Vanessa. What a sucker I am, resting my arms.

You're a good girl. I didn't realize that. Hey, Vanessa, if we have a good show today, I will pet you afterwards, okay? Another person said that the worst part about being short is that the sun visor in the car doesn't work for them. That's so true. Doesn't block the sun when you're short. Doesn't block the sun at all. Hold on.

There's a tall person that wants to get in on this as well. Javier, north of six feet. Why does being tall suck? Oh, because sometimes, okay, let's say my bathroom, I have this medicine cabinet. And if someone leaves the door open, if I'm not aware, I'll turn around and bump the corner of it. And that sucks. Or like low lamps in the kitchen or dining room. Oh, yeah.

He's got his head on low lamps. Yeah. Meanwhile, Vanessa could just cruise under those lamps. No harm, no foul. See, everyone thinks it's better. Hold on. Sabrina couldn't get a job because she was too short. What could you not do, Sabrina?

Well, I wanted to be a firefighter when I was younger, and everyone has to take those little tests. There's like 11 stations, and one of them is removing a ladder from the wall and logging around with it and placing it back. Well, I'm 5'2", so it was like above my shoulders, and it's just all arm strength, and so I'm just dead. Just dead arms.

That's a bummer. The irony that the thing that stood between her and getting the job was a ladder. The one thing that would have solved most of her problems. Wow. So I guess when you think about it, there's probably not that many really short firefighters. I'm not going to lie. I wouldn't want her as my fireman. I want to end this with the shortest person we have on the phone right now.

And I actually think having a little fire person would be great. Think of how many of them you could fit in that truck. Yeah, they could all come down the chimney. Keep coming out. We say hi to Jasmine. She is the shortest person. Jasmine, how tall are you? Good morning.

I am 4'7". Okay. What is the worst part about being 4'7"? Other than all the things that everyone has said, like being used as an armrest and all that, and hearing people talk crap, like saying, like, oh, my God, she's so short when you come walking by, is probably shoe shopping because I have to go to the kids' section.

So a lot of my heels will have Velcro on them like a little kid. A shoe shop? You're talking about a shoe shop? You're saying that when you want to wear heels, you have to have those ones that have, like, jasmine on them or Elsa? Pretty much. Oh, man. But you, so you pretty much have to shop in the kids' section. Get out your slutty heels tonight.

Yeah, I either have to go to the kids' section, like, at Target and all that, or I have to go to, like, those little Asian stores that have high heels. Oh, wow, yeah. All right, well, listen, I apologize. At least it's half off. It's usually cheaper. Vanessa, I didn't realize all of the struggles that you deal with. Vanessa's feeling very heard right now, very seen. I mean, also unseen at the same time, but still very seen right now.

And thank you for all you shorties for giving us some of your time on KROQ. KROQ, we're a Klein Alley show. If you need us, you can interact lots of ways. Call, text, get on the DMs, Klein Alley Show. Or if you'd rather, you can leave messages on the go line, 844-956-GO. Klein Alley, that joke today that Klein made, that was gold, baby. Pure gold. I can't take credit for that joke that was a joke that was made by Allie's unborn baby so

I would love to take credit for a great joke like that but uh this was uh yesterday as we put the microphone down to Allie's womb and we listened to the baby growing inside of her uh this is what the baby said and Allie doesn't like this bit no I think it's rather stupid she's refused to hold the microphone anywhere near her. She used to jump on board. She'd hop up. She'd put the microphone sometimes inside of her.

She used to. Now, she won't even pretend to put the mic down there. So Omar just has to turn up the volume even louder so that we could hear the baby. I hope I am smart. Unlike my brother

who keeps saying leotard. I hope I'm not leotarded. So that was her. He's making the same joke again today. So that's the best joke you've ever made according to that goat-like caller. I didn't make the joke

That's your unborn baby that made that joke I'm glad you don't want to take credit for the joke I didn't write it The baby said it My baby didn't say anything The baby doesn't talk The more you say your baby's not talking The more we're going to have to turn that mic up and listen

At least write some new material for it The same two that you're cycling through Listen, the baby's tired Oh, got it Are you the baby in the scenario now? In this scenario, I'm the baby. We take a quick break. We're back in a second.

We have ADD News to get to. We'll listen in and find out. You know what? When we get back, I'm going to listen in to what's really happening in there. Because I bet you the baby's got more to say today. Great. Speed writing. And then we'll come back with that. And then we've got these tickets to give you.

So you can go to every water park in Southern California. Coming up at 9 a.m. sharp and every hour thereafter. All next game. All right. Let's get into the ADD News. And then we've got your tickets to go to. Listen to this. You get all.

You don't have to pick. You get all of these. Wild Rivers, Knott's Soak City, and Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, Los Angeles, all in your future. So you can spend all summer floating lazy rivers, going down fast water slides, and not getting too hot, which is what it's all about. Hold on. Wait a minute, Allie. It looks like there's some action happening in your stomach right now. Would you hold the microphone down there?

I'm glad we have time for this. We can just check in with you. I know you love it when we do this. Yes, you said you want a new material for your baby. Go ahead, Allie's unborn baby. Thanks for asking. I'm tired. But it's okay, because I'm about to get the best snack during this ADD News.

And now, here's my boring mom. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Thanks. Take it away, Allie. Good material, kid. Good material. Smart kid.

Very. We're all getting our snooze. Yeah. Glad. Glad that you found a way to make me even more angry. It's what they call rage baiting, I think. All right. Cool.

Is that the baby? That's, I think, everyone. I'll start out with something titillating for you, Klein. If you're a teacher, having sex with your students is generally frowned upon. Occasionally, it would be true love, but 99.99% of the time, you're just being a creep. Now, this teacher had sex with multiple students. She was 25 years old. These students were around 16 years old.

And in a weird way, I kind of feel bad for her because the students, after they had sex with her, filmed it and turned it around on her to blackmail her for better grades. Oh, my God. Genius. Bored now? Not so bored anymore. Wake up, kid. Hear the story. Take a listen.

Teacher sex scandal with a twist. She's accused of having sex with two high school students, including inside her classroom closet. She also allegedly had a student watch the racy movie Fifty Shades of Grey. But according to cops, the students actually tried to blackmail the teacher to give them better grades. Justin Fitch explains, and we want to warn you, these details may be graphic. A high school biology teacher is facing shocking charges today. It's great that you could blackmail for a biology class. Boring, right? I know, that's a real, I could have used a grade now. My first D, I think, I got was biology.

Including allegedly showing the raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey to a 16-year-old student. 25-year-old Maris Nichols is accused of having sex with two students and having inappropriate contact with up to five others. The documents also say that victims blackmail Nichols to give them good grades. And if she didn't, they threatened to expose the fact that, get this, she had an OnlyFans account. Boom. I mean, that seems like that's not the biggest thing they could have exposed. How about the fact that she's sleeping with students? That seems to be a much bigger thing.

They don't even know how to blackmail properly. The fact that they were, like, I wonder how premeditated this was. If they were like, this teacher has already had sex with, like, three students. If we sleep with her, then we can blackmail her. If we sleep with her, I bet we could probably blackmail her. And I don't know if this happened with them together or separately. Well, you see how dumb it is because they're kids and they only blackmail for better grades. You could have gotten so much more better stuff.

Yeah, she's our teacher. She doesn't probably have a ton of money and she's already sleeping with them. So what else can you get for her? At that point, the grades are everything. I mean, if someone said to you, listen, you're going to fail biology. If you fail biology, you have to repeat whatever this is, 10th, 11th grade. They go, oh, man, I don't want to study. So what else can we do?

Sleep with a teacher sounds a lot more fun than studying. But would you ask for just better grades for that one class? I would be like, I want all A's. Figure it out. In every subject. Then you know that then all of a sudden people start getting suspicious. But I wonder how this all got uncovered because obviously we all know now what happened. So did she agree to give the better grades or was she like, no, fine, I should just be exposed?

Is she attractive, Allie? You know I don't have a visual on her. Because I have noticed lately, and obviously I just want to make this very clear because I know someone will send some angry email and say they can't believe that we are sensationalizing a teacher sleeping with students. It's not a good thing. Don't stand by it. I think it's wrong on a bunch of levels. That all being said.

Oh, no, she's not bad looking. There's a lot of these attract, I mean, pretty good looking like. Well, and you're 25. That's a very young teacher. Female teachers. And by the way, I don't know. I was not one of these 16-year-olds that had a full-on beard, goatee, whatever. Some of these 16-year-olds look older than I do now.

Yeah. And you know what? But I understand that maybe there are scenarios where it's, quote, consensual. But if you are an older teacher, you're supposed to be a role model for a kid. You're not supposed to be eye candy, and you're not supposed to give in to maybe an innocent crush that a 16-year-old has on their teacher. But it does feel, and Omar says I say it happens all the time, and he goes, how often is all the time? I don't know what it is lately, but it seems like there's every couple of weeks another story of female teacher sleeping with some student. There's a girl that I went to.

Well, I used to do musicals with her, and she ended up having an affair. She cheated on her husband with one of her students, and she ended up going to prison for two years. Whoa. And this was high school? She was. College. I don't think you'd go. You'd lose your job.

No, it wasn't college. I believe it was high school. She went to prison for two years. Yeah, two years. I saw her mugshot and everything. I was like, whoa, Colette? What happened? Was she attractive, too?

I mean, yeah, she was cute. I can't figure out what's going on with this. I think that she really, I think it was like a multiple times relationship type thing. It wasn't just like, hey, we had sex once. It was like she really thought she was in love with this kid. I mean, I never had a chance with any of my teachers at all. And not only did they not find me sexually attractive, they just didn't like me as a person. I mean, I would have loved even a friendship.

You still tried to blackmail them. It didn't work. Yeah, they said, whatever, dude. You got nothing on us. We've never looked at you that way. So Noah Khan has made some public comments earlier this week about people pooping their pants at his show. And he has followed this up at another recent show by making his fans take an oath to go to the bathroom in a real toilet versus on the floor of the venue. He made the audience repeat after him.

When you enter this building, you enter a social contract, right? And one of the big number rule number two besides don't literally kill each other is don't on the floor. We're going to do some therapy type thing where we all basically repeat after me, okay? I solemnly swear. I solemnly swear. I will not s*** my pants. I will not s*** my pants. And if I do.

And if I do. I won't take it from my pants and put it on the floor. I won't take it from my pants and put it on the floor. Okay. Lost the crowd on that one, huh? I pooped my pants and I don't have underwear. Take an oath, Vanessa. Take an oath.

Just don't do that at a show, Vanessa. Guys, everyone made fun of us when we said rock pants. It's time for rock pants. And now we're just getting more and more real-world examples of why rock pants would solve all of our problems. Hey, call at 20. Let's go ahead and make your water park dreams come true right now at 800-520-1067.

You can take an oath as well. We'll come back with that on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ. Oh, yeah, it's just after 9 o'clock. Good morning. Look at that. I'm surprised entering the KROQ studios as we speak. Brad Williams is here.

Okay, I didn't even know. Hey, what's up, Brad? Is my mic on? That mic is on, yes. All right. Hey, guys. Hey, what's up, man? What are you talking about?

What brings you in? Hold on one second. I've got to give away these tickets to a water park. You want to go to a water park with Laura? Listen to Laura? Do I? Yeah. What's their height requirements?

That's a great question. 42 inches. You're out. I'm out. Laura in Southgate, good morning. You are the 20th caller right now. Congratulations. You're going to a bunch of different water parks in Southern California.

Look at that. Wild Rivers, Not Soaked City, and Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, Los Angeles. Brad will be there with his floaties. Yeah, that's how I survive. Hold on one second, Laura. Thank you. One second. Another chance to win coming up next hour.

What's up, dude? Hey. I heard you were in the building. Yeah, I was talking to one of the greatest short players in Laker history, and that's Derek Fisher, who is 6'1", so that makes me feel like crap. The last six times we've tried to get you to come on this show for different reasons. You've given us reasons why you couldn't be here. Yes.

How many of those were made up, or how many of those were legitimate? What did I say? Do you remember? Well, we always try to get you in here on St. Paddy's Day, and you say you don't leave your house. That's the most dangerous day of the year to be a dwarf. I'm not leaving my house on St. Patrick's Day. That's the dwarf version of the purr.

Allie tried to get you in here when I was not in one day, and you said you were, quote, traveling. Yes, because I'm a traveling comedian. But now I'm taking the summer off, so I'm available. You couldn't get booked this summer? I actually, unlike some comedians, I love my family. I've heard they're good people, so I would like to meet them. So you made a point to take the summer off, or you just didn't get booked?

I wanted to be home. I wanted to be a good dad. I took my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese. I watched her get tossed by another little kid. It was a weird thing. Cool. I had to go fight a five-year-old. You know that Brad released recently, he's not asking me to plug this, but I'm sure he will eventually,

but he released a YouTube special and it has got over a million views like in a pretty short amount of time. Yeah. And I'm curious about that. What's this one called? Short and Sweet? Fun Size?

What is it again? Life on Short Street. There we go. That's another short. I thought you told us on the lie detector test in here that you said all of your little puns, you said all of my little joke puns

are coming to an end. I've got nothing left. Well, I thought that I was, I had another name for it and then we shot it at this amazing theater in lexton kentucky uh called the lexton opera house that is literally located on short street we got there we looked up like oh it's on short street and i thought they were playing a prank on

me right i thought they just named it that because i was coming in i'm like what do you call this street when bruce bruce plays this place but uh yeah like i'm like all right well i gotta call it live on short street now and it's too good and that did over a million so what does that work out to on a finance all seriousness like what does that mean what do you get paid from youtube for that. That's the other reason why I haven't been coming in here. Y'all can't afford me. Oh, yeah, I know, I know. But down the hall, I guess they still can.

Well, because they bribed me with memorabilia. Now I got a Lakers hat signed by Derrick Fisher. Oh, that's why you came in here. That's literally why I showed up. Did you bring the hat? Yeah. They didn't give you the hat. That's one of yours? No. Yeah, I brought the hat. You can tell it's my hat because it's a really

large size. We just, last hour on the phone, coincidentally, didn't know you were coming in the building today but coincidentally we're talking to people about the worst part about being short because vanessa who's 4 11 says that uh life sucks because there's a people always try to pick her up and we had a ton of calls and people that try to put out their turn off their smoke alarm with a spoon and a step stool and this one woman said that uh people try to pet her all the time pet her like pat on the head pat on the head or use as an armrest yeah i'm not a fan of that and that happens a lot oh yeah really to to to the point where i do free meet and greets after my

shows. I'll be doing one on November 19th when I'm playing the Wiltern Theater. Get your tickets now. Unbelievable. Once again, y'all cannot afford me. This is my charity work. I'm writing this off on my taxes. We'll sign a hat if you want.

Get Allie to sign that lesbian hat you're wearing. Lesbian hat. By the way, I think Lesbian Hat is playing Coachella next year. Not out of those either, huh? Those will never die. So, So I tell my audience before the meet and greet, I go, hey, there will be no picking up, and you cannot put your arm on my head.

Oh, so there's a little disclaimer that says, yeah, yeah. I have to every time. I try to tell them, if you pick up a dwarf, it's not seven years, good luck. But they just don't believe me. Because if it were true, you'd say the exact same thing. Because you've got to earn the good luck. You're not going to not pick them up if you're given the chance. Another person had called and said it was frustrating to grocery shop because if they ever wanted something on a top shelf, they would have to wait for a person that works there to help them out.

Now, do you do the grocery shopping in your family, or do you leave that to your wife? I leave that to my wife, but when I have done it, because I have done it, and I see something on the top shelf, that is when I become a pitcher for the Dodgers because I start grabbing things from the lower shelf and throwing them up to the top and try to hit them. Now, there may be some lawsuits coming because I've thrown several cans of corn over the aisle because I'm not a good arm. I don't have a good arm and not a lot of experiences playing competitive sports. She's got like a little lasso. Yeah. Lasso in the cereal box that you're on. We've got to do a video shopping with Brad.

It's a fascinating thing to watch if you've seen it. But how long have you been married now? Because I know Allie and I were at your wedding. Yes. And we also are responsible for how you met your wife. Yes. We take full responsibility there. Correct.

Have you made it 10 years yet? We're eight years. 10 years together, eight years married. And are you still open marriage? What? Weren't we? I thought you were. She was just in here yesterday and told us that.

No, is that not true? No, but you met on a three-second app. And you were kind of open sexually when you guys first started dating. I would say less now because now we're focused on being parents and stuff. And we don't want to, you know, we don't want to make an Instagram flyer for an Eyes Wide Shut party and then have that be shown to our daughter who's... But also, you're too rich now, right? I mean, you can't run the risk of someone else trying to take your money. Once again, you guys cannot afford me.

I know. This is a waste of my time. Brad used to slum with us in Radioland. We used to be all broke together. Then Brad decided to cut us loose and go follow his comedy dreams. And look what happened. And it is really telling that once I left you guys, that then I got a lot of money. I'm saying, Allie, you have a bright future.

Thank you so much. You can do so much in this business and other businesses. I'm saying just kind of cut the dead weight loose. Okay, thank you. Kind of just get rid of this little succubus over here. Thank you. You're pointing at me. I know who you're talking about.

You can go off and do amazing things. Oh, I can wear a hat like that. Yeah, you can wear a hat that makes you look like a lawn jock. Five seconds before the song starts to give one more plug. All right. BradWoodsGammy.com to watch my brand new special live on Short Street and then buy tickets for the November 19th show at the Wiltern. 250th birthday party doesn't usually sound like one of them ragers.

Usually it would not be one of those party goes from 8 p.m. till question mark, question mark, question mark. But in this particular case, celebrating the birthday of America, lots of ways to do it. Illegal fireworks is a great way to do it. Barbecues in the backyard, another way. Sending you to water parks. In this particular case, monster trucks. What says happy birthday, America, more than monster trucks?

Happy birthday, dear Sally. Happy birthday, salad. Salad's probably older than America. That is great. Oh, that could be one of the questions, Allie. We do have a bunch of things here. And all you have to do is determine is it older or younger than America, celebrating 250 years on July 4th. That is the, of course, anniversary, 1776, if you're keeping track, you historians.

Still a very young country. Very young, and a little Botox can look even younger, but peptides, we could get this country looking 100 by, you know, middle of next year probably, right? So here's the question. I will just share with you some things, and you just have to determine older or younger than America. It's not going to be as easy as you think. because in theory you could go, all right, well, if Klein says that bit about talking to Ali's baby, it may feel older than America, but technically it's only about three years old, that bit. The joke is probably a quarter of a century old.

Probably. Say hi to Manny right now. Everyone who gets theirs right, Ali's going to write your name down. One of you is going to go to MonsterJam at Crypto.com, and those tickets will be yours for looking at all the monster trucks happening on July 17th. Tickets available at AXS.com. All right, what's up, Manny? Ready to go? Hey, yeah, good morning, Clay and Ellie. All right, here we go.

Older, younger than America. Bourbon whiskey. Bourbon whiskey. Delicious drink. Goes great on the rocks or right out of the bottle. But is it older or younger than America? Well, I'm going to go with Tennessee, so I'm going to go younger. Okay, now that's a good guess.

Because I think of bourbon whiskey as an American beverage. Yeah, I do too. But then I also wonder if they started making it here before they really established America as a country. Like as soon as they landed, they were like, let's make some bourbon. I would have assumed it was the exact same age. It was like bourbon, whiskey, and America are twins. But it turns out that bourbon whiskey is almost 100 years older than America. 100 years older?

Dating back to the 1700s, early 1700s, early to mid-1700s, they could find bourbon whiskey. So, I'm so sorry. Not a good place to start. Bourbon whiskey was around... Outside of America, I imagine? Before America. Even if it was made here before this was America. They brought it over?

Or they were making it, but it was not American yet. So, bourbon whiskey, older than America. Who would have thought? What you know. This is all great. These are great factoids to drop at your summer barbecue. Oh, yeah. You'll use one of these.

You have to make small talk with a co-worker or some parent of a friend. You know, this drink is older than America. how old are you honey just shut up shut up and chug it uh we say hi to anthony anthony good morning good morning let's talk about one of the greatest inventions ever the spork the spork is half spoon half fork it's a good thing to have if you're eating cereal and also pasta but the question is is the spork older than america uh we're gonna go younger now what's interesting is the fork alley i don't know if you know this but the fork dates back all the way to the bc time i mean i'm talking before well that's what set apart us apart from the apes right it's

our ability to make tools and not just eat stuff with our hands so forks have been around forever they're the oldest thing out there i think they're older than earth even but uh the spork itself did not officially come to popular knowledge wasn't even around until 1874 making america almost 100 years older than the spork. But that was created in the U.S. probably, right? Of course it was. That's such a U.S. thing. We're so fat.

We needed that. Yeah, fork or spoon, and then you're like, why choose? Why choose? Who knows what I'll be eating after this. This is America. So congratulations, you got that right. So now we know. I'm going over some of the greatest things ever.

Bourbon whiskey, older than America. Spork, younger than America. And we say hi now to, this is Alicia. Good morning, Alicia. Welcome to KROQ, as we celebrate America's 250th birthday coming up on Saturday. We give you this next one now. Okay, good morning. Good morning.

Betty White's mother. Betty White's mother. Is she older or younger than America? I'm going to say younger. Okay, now Betty White, as you know, was one of the greatest old people on the planet for a long time. I wish she'd made it to 100. Lived a good long life, almost made it to 100. Yeah.

And the question is Betty White's mother. Her mother, I don't know if you knew this, Allie, because I know you're a huge fan. Her name was Tess White. She was born in 1899. Wow, so just a little bit younger. So she is, no, she's a lot younger than America. She's a lot younger than America. Hold on one second.

You got yours right as well. We say I had a Javier in Pomona. So we celebrate America's birthday coming up. Princeton University. Hmm. Javier? Yeah. Allie and I did not go there, but that is the one we give you.

Princeton University. Did not accept either of us. Me neither. Is Princeton University older or younger than America? I want to say older. It's weird. I would have to assume it would be younger just in the sense that Princeton University was, I believe, founded right here in America. At least I would have thought that.

But apparently this is one of those ones that's weird because Princeton University claims it was founded in 1746. which makes it older than America. Was it just the first school? I don't know if that's what it was. Everyone got in back then. It was the only one. I guess it was. If someone brags about going to Princeton,

you should be like, what year, though? Because if you went to the... I went to pre-K at Princeton. If you went to Princeton Day School, like anyone... I was five. It was just the first thing with a roof on it. Whoa.

So, hold on one second. You got that right as well. This is the final one now. This is going to be tough. Older, younger than America, 250 years celebrating and we ask let's go to

Relly in Seal Beach Hey Relly, good morning, welcome to K-Rock It's Relly I was going to say that doesn't sound right at all Relly, we'll go with that The client is really dumb The piano The piano

as an instrument Older, younger than America Well you said it was really tough I'm going to go with younger younger the piano has got to be centuries old many centuries old probably one of the first instruments i think everything was just blown into horns for a while no way rip toss off elephants and blow into them that was music other than like yeah tusk or a horn i feel like piano is the first she said younger but the piano has been around since 1700 which

makes it uh super old uh and uh well ali a couple people got theirs right who's gonna go celebrate america with monster trucks all right that would be javier congratulations javier my man monster trucks in your future congratulations happy birthday america what's that again he did not get into princeton that's right we're not a bunch of princeton people hold on one second for your tickets to monster jam hang tight when we get back uncomfortable moments happened yesterday a couple of real in the flesh name butcherings who had the bigger faux pas yesterday was it me in front of a famed ktla reporter alina abovian or was it ali insulting the future of america it was the greatest it was really the greatest thing i've ever witnessed here at k-rock

we'll get to that next on k-rock you guys seem to like it when we embarrass ourselves uh lucky for us we do it every day uh happened yesterday two different times you will decide which one of us made a bigger faux pas i i would i believe it was you without even without even a shadow of a doubt but well i didn't do it on camera yeah but it doesn't matter because the way that you made the other person feel was so funny we were sitting in the office after the show okay to be fair i've only met this person one other time well we're sitting uh we're sitting in the office and it's Vanessa, and it's Johnny, it's me. I think Omar's there.

Jake's there. I don't know if Jake was there or not yet. I don't remember if it smelled yet. We're all sitting around and then this intern that we have is sitting there as well. Not even really an intern. A shadow intern. It's a college student that's going to be sitting in on a few of the shows. I feel so bad for these people.

All they can do is observe. Yes. Because of the rules. The rules are so ridiculous. We're not allowed to have them do anything because we can't pay them. It's built-in awkwardness. So, she's shadowing, and Vanessa says, hey, do you guys mind if... Do you remember her name? Doesn't matter. Yes, you...

For the point of this story, it doesn't matter. I know her name. Okay. Bye, Klein. Vanessa, what did you say yesterday? Say it. I didn't say it either. Say it.

Hey, guys, can we let our intern join you for this interview? No, no, you didn't say that. And then I said, what's her name? No. It's not what happened. It's not what happened. It's not what happened. Actually, yeah, I don't remember.

You don't know how the stories go. She said it's storytelling. Vanessa goes, do you guys mind if Campbell comes and follows you downstairs for the interview? And Allie, and this girl's sitting right between Vanessa and Allie, and Allie looks up and goes, who the hell's Campbell? No, I said, who? Yeah. She goes, who?

And this girl, this poor girl. She was like, me. Yeah, what is she, 20, 21? Yeah, she's 20. Her face goes red. It's so sad. She was so embarrassed. She goes, that's me.

But Allie goes, who the hell? Like, she said who, but the face Allie gave us, who the hell is Campbell? And this girl is sitting right there and goes, that's me. I thought that. And she's come in multiple times. Multiple times. Yeah, she even told her her nickname is Soup. Yeah, but the way that Vanessa said it, I thought she was mispronouncing something.

So I thought she was saying something different. And I was like, who? What? And then I realized she was talking about the intern whose name is Campbell. And then for the next three minutes, Allie sat there with a really, like, oh, I feel like such an ass face. And this girl looked really uncomfortable as well. And then she was like, it's okay. I forget my name all the time, too.

It was so funny. She tried to make Allie feel better. So then we go downstairs, and waiting for us, unbeknownst to us, is. . . She gets to awkwardly stand and watch what happened as well. She was downstairs during the interview. We go downstairs. We're going to be interviewed by Alina Bovian. Alina.

And apparently I was calling. . . become a blithering idiot whenever you're on Hot Women? It was apparent. It was crazy. It's crazy to me. I gotta maybe dig up some tapes. Do you have any tapes from the Topless Women that you would interview on Playboy TV? I'm sure I do. I need some of that audio

because I can't imagine you were smooth. No, probably not. But with Abovian, you know, she was sitting there and... And she's also next level. Next level. She is gorgeous. Gives us a nice hug and she smells nice and she's gonna

to chat with us and we're talking and I thought I was doing a decent job. Congratulations. I knew you'd find a job in no time. Anyway, if you still ever want to come in here, it's an open door policy. I don't know if you know this. Can we interview you, by the way, since you're interviewing us? We're doing an interview.

It's on camera for LA Magazine. I didn't know you were jealous of the seat I took. Allie, of course, immediately boxes me out and takes the good seat right next door so I'm off to the side. I never want to be all the way on the outside because the camera is not a good angle for me. It makes me My legs look big.

That's not the camera's problem. I just like to sandwich myself in the middle. We're talking, and a few times, I guess I mentioned her during the chat, and I'm like, Elena, you're the reason she's asking about this. She said, when did you know that things were turning around for the better? And, you know, we're talking about a few different milestones for the show, and then Klein decides to bring up, well, Elena, when you joined us, that was a real turning point because we realized a legacy journalist like yourself

was willing to join us and cross-pollinate these audiences. And she just looked so flattered. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Ali is saying stuff that is so... You can check the tape when it comes out. Yeah, check the tape. But apparently I did call her.

You called her Elena a couple of times. Yeah, Alina, Elena, tomato, tomato, same thing. And I said, you know, you are the frontrunner to replace me when I go on maternity leave. And then Klein said, yeah, you know, Elena, you've been our number one pick. and she said, well, if you're going to pick me, at least learn to pronounce my name right. Sass. Sass.

But Vanessa said maybe that was flirty, right, Vanessa? I would say that's as flirty like learn how to say my name. You know what I mean? Like I'm being sassy, playful. Also just pissed. Also just kind of angry. Get my goddamn name right.

Right, so we... So both of us proving that we're not good with names yesterday. And then we went upstairs, finished the interview. It was harmless. It was very nice of her to chat with us. And then Klein, as we're leaving, goes, oh, I forgot my backpack downstairs. I was like,

okay, yeah, you forgot it on accident. Oh, no, I gotta go downstairs again by myself and pick up my backpack. You think I left my bag down there on purpose? Of course you did. Why would you even take your bag downstairs if you're gonna come back up?

So that he could leave it down there. No, exactly. Exactly, that's, yeah, he totally did that on purpose. Sorry, this big, heavy backpack, I've got to get it. Is my kettlebell in here? Oh, look. Sorry, I left my dumbbells. Allie and I were going to go to the car.

And that picture, by the way, Klein's totally trying to flex his muscles. Oh, shut up. Oh, God, yeah. Allie and I, you guys are so funny. You see his little vein right there? That's so ridiculous. Allie and I were going to go to our cars first and drop our bags off before we went downstairs to chat. And then, for whatever reason, I don't know.

Well, because Campbell was with us, and I thought it would be awkward for us to just walk out to our car. And Allie says, who are you? She says, it's Campbell again. It's a weird shadower. So we said, let's just go down there. These interns are really good at shadowing. They really do shadow pretty closely. Well, they have to follow you because they can't get anywhere in the building without you.

So we went downstairs, and then I left my bag. When I went back down there, you'll be happy to know she was long gone. I don't care. She was gone. I hope you did have the opportunity to flirt with her a little more. I didn't flirt with her at all. There was no flirting going on there. Did you actually leave your bag?

No No, I did, I left my bag My bag was down there And Seki put it outside Yeah, and then Seki was like Let's get some pictures And so we got pictures of the three of us And then he said, now I want one with just Klein and Alina

For when Alina replaces you Yeah, that's what he said to Ali That's a funny line And then just because of a formality I took one with Alina Yeah, yeah. It's like, I know, I guess you guys can take a picture. Yeah, that was the weirdest part.

It looks like it could be Klein and Alina. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, get ready. And then she made a joke about pushing me down the stairs. It was really funny. Thank you for the text line calling me a simp. I really appreciate that. It's a good response.

We've got to take a quick break. We're back in a second. Simp! In 15 minutes, we get you into all them water parks all over again, and then we'll do some clickbait and more show after this. KROQ, we are Klein and Alina's show. Let's find out what's happening in the world together. Then we've got a brand new hour of the show to get into.

Will it be the greatest hour of your life? Only one way to find out. Got to keep listening and be ready to interact with us. 800-520-1067 to call and to text. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. We've seen plenty of movies about rescue missions in space.

And there is one happening finally in real life. I will say it's not as exciting as Armageddon or The Martian or really any other space movie. Because they're not rescuing a person. They're rescuing a telescope. It's a very expensive telescope. It is hurling down to Earth right now. It's worth about half a billion dollars. It's been orbiting Earth for over 20 years, collecting data, and they've gotten a lot of cool footage from the telescope over the years, but it is starting to fall out of orbit.

So as it falls out of orbit, it hurls down to Earth. They don't want it to burn up in the atmosphere because, obviously, it's expensive. They don't want a debris hitting anybody. So they're launching this rescue mission. It was supposed to launch this morning, but they've rescheduled it due to weather. This rescue mission will cost $30 million, by the way. They're going to try again tomorrow, but basically they just launch this, you know, like rocket launcher thing, and then they're going to push the telescope higher into orbit, just back into orbit, and then it just kind of resumes.

How much is this telescope worth? It's worth more than $30 million? It's worth, well, yeah, $500 million. Oh, okay. I guess it's worth $30 million to say $500 million. Right, exactly. But did they know when they put it up there it was going to fall out of orbit eventually? I think eventually it was going to start dwindling, right? I don't know how orbit works. But it's funny, how much longer is it going to last if they just push it back up there?

Is that going to buy them another five years, ten years, twenty years? And wouldn't you think there's better technology out there now that they should just go ahead and let that one burn up and put a new one up there? Think about your phone from five years ago versus now. So many more megapixels. I think when you really start thinking about buying a new device, you can't stop thinking about it. And you're like, this thing is a piece of crap. Right, I mean, the telescope's been hovered. It takes forever for this thing to load.

What am I doing? I should buy a new one. It's been hovered around Earth for, I don't even know how many years. 22 years. Yeah, the technology's got to suck at this point. What, are they getting black and white grainy photos? Yeah, but I think to make a new one, because it cost them $200 million just to make this one. So it probably costs now with inflation like a trillion dollars to make another one.

I'm sure Timu has a version. It's cheaper. Put that one up there. Timu NASA telescope. They've got to have one they can put up there. You know, they're like... $3.50 and I got a bath cannon. Yeah, they got like a dupe.

It looks like, I see all these people walking around. They have the expensive Apple headphones on, but they're like the dupes that they got for $30 in the TikTok shop. They do look exactly like the original ones. Yeah, get one of those TikTok shop telescopes and put it up there. I'm sure it'll be still better than the one that's up there right now. The $5.95 telescope I bought for my kids. Yesterday, I thought, because we talked about that story for a bit, but I thought that their concern was that it was going to crash down to Earth. But even if they can't rescue it and get it back in orbit, it will burn up before it hits us?

Yeah, I think most of it. I don't think it's a threat to humanity. Okay. I think it's mainly a threat to just destroying the telescope and having to make a new one. I'll tell you, they're very good at these headlines to get you to click, saying like, you know, where is the falling satellite going to crash telescope when it hits Earth? And then you're like, I should probably check that out, make sure it's not right there in the valley. Yeah, but I think that even if something's that big, I think when it's hurling down to Earth, there's so much, like, I think it just burns up. Maybe there'd be tiny pieces, but I don't think it'd be anything big enough to hurt anybody or kill anybody.

But you hear about those giant blocks of airplane ice poop that fall out of the airplane toilets and crash through people's roofs all the time. Yeah, but they're not going through the Earth's atmosphere. Yeah, but they're still falling a long distance. They are. 30,000 feet's a lot, Allie. It's a lot. You know what? We should call NASA and let them know. How often is that happening? It feels like once a week, dude. It feels like it's happening all the time. It really does.

Because of the recent earthquakes, people in California are panic buying earthquake preparedness kits. And yes, there were several earthquakes in Venezuela. There's also been some in Japan. There were even a couple in California, northern California. So it's triggering this big surge of orders for disaster supplies across California. One of the earthquake preparedness companies said that their kits are now flying off the shelves and families and individuals are driving the demand and panic buying. And it's it's what we do. You know, we've always felt like, yes, an earthquake could happen at any time. And still, after all these years of living in California, I'm not prepared.

You have a kit? No. Omar, you have a kit, right? Yeah, I have this little red bag that I bought about 15 years ago. I'm sure none of that stuff in there is, you know, maybe just like the water bags are good. All the food and all the powder and stuff's got to go bad, right? That's the other thing is that you have to be newly prepared. Because we talked to Dr. Lucy, who is the earthquake expert, and she has earthquake stuff in her car that she replaces every couple of years. She has something in her garage.

Like, you have different ways of preparing, and you have to be refreshing every couple of years. We can barely do it once. She said that most of us are not prepared, and then most of us that actually are prepared are the wrong type of prepared. Because, like Omar, I also have that bright red backpack. It weighs a ton. and inside of it it's got like a whistle

and a bunch of other crap. It's got radio? It's got a radio. It's got like hand crank radios. Crank radio. It's terrible. It is really like and then

When the earthquake hits all of us are just going to be standing around with red backpacks that are totally useless. Useless red backpacks. Does anyone need dry dehydrated sauce? And everything in there

has been expired for a long ass time. We're all going to get so sick. I had. I told you. Remember that time I did have that Duck Dynasty branded

survival kit? It was like somehow branded by the guys in Duck Dynasty. It was a giant food bucket that was going to last me for, I don't know how I got it or where I even got it from, but I know that my wife went through the menu and she threw the whole thing out and she goes, we will never eat any of this. I go, if the option is this or cannibalism, trust me when I say this bucket of food is going to look great.

I don't know. But it was like all of this, like it was like dehydrated grits and like all these other things. And she's like, we're not eating this stuff. I'm like, this is emergency stuff. Like, you don't have a, you're not making decisions at that point on what I feel like. Your wife would rather starve than eat dehydrated grits? 100%.

100%. I think she would look at you and be like, you have to sacrifice yourself for this family. Yeah. If you care at all, you'll let us eat your arm. But we're not eating that Duck Dynasty grit. We're not eating that grit stuff. Here's a company that's doing great right now. Biscoff Cookies.

Those little cookies that you normally only eat when you're at 35,000 feet is having one of the best years of their lives. And they've solidified their place as a top five cookie in America. This is largely due to a viral TikTok cheesecake recipe trend where you put vanilla yogurt, layer it over the Biscoff cookies, put some honey, some other kind of variations. There's a bunch. You let it sit, and the yogurt absorbs it into the cookie, and it makes this moist, cakey consistency that basically is like a healthy, high-protein cheesecake. Well, that cookie by itself is trash. I think it's a good cookie. The cookie butter they got, the Biscoff spread, that's where it's at.

Well, that's another recipe is you put that on top of this as well. It needs to spread. I mean, in the same way that, you know, blue cheese needs buffalo wings to survive in this world. It's a similar situation going on over there. It's kind of like a prison cheesecake. Yeah, I could understand. But it's fascinating that some brand that's been around forever and was doing fine but not great. Just as a whatever could be.

All of a sudden has a viral recipe and now they're having the greatest year of their life. The greatest year ever. Well, there you have it. Some of the stuff happening in the world. We get into a brand new hour of the show in a moment. This is the world famous K-Rock. I actually failed to mention one other thing that's happening now that we should probably talk about, and that is the future of LeBron James, who has, I guess, declared once and for all

that he is not retiring, but he will not be a Laker anymore. He let the Lakers know that the franchise can move on without him because he will play elsewhere. And the rumor is that the Warriors are trying to pick him up. Now that Draymond Green declined his one-year option, it opened up flexibility for them to get him and possibly trade for Anthony Davis. So LeBron James and A.D. would be reunited. In the greatest prank ever pulled by any NBA player, he forced the Lakers to bring Bronny James onto the Lakers

and now is leaving the Lakers, but we are stuck with Bronny James. Are we? Oh, yeah. I believe. Can't just cut him loose? I don't think so. So there you have it. That is.

He's like, peace. They're like, damn. I know. Fell for this one. So that's. Listen, I still. Is that a huge loss? I think it is for a couple of reasons, and I don't want to talk—

Oh, I think the Warriors are stupid for trying to go after him. I think they're going to try to put together a team of the Expendables, all these old guys. Wow, that sounds so exciting. Well, it will be. Let's get a bunch of olds together. I believe that— Yeah. Mark my words, this is a negotiation tactic.

No. And that's the Warriors of next year. And LeBron is, I believe, going to be a Laker. That's what I think. Do you think he really needs to do this whole bargaining thing, though, at his age? Wouldn't you just be like, we're doing this or we're not doing this? Do you think he's too old to play those games? I don't think so.

I think that this is what the public... He's too old for this game. ...publicly what he wanted to get out there, and I think the Lakers are going to realize this is stupid, although... Do you think that they would lose that many more games without him? Look, it's Lucas' team now, and they just gave Reeves a pretty massive contract extension. Nice. Let them go at it. They've got some good young players, but listen, I'm saying—

The Warriors need some good old players. Get some old. They're bringing all the old ones back. Everyone will take turns playing for five minutes each. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is coming back. They're all coming back. It's going to be great. Anyway, that's some breaking news developing as we speak here at KROQ.

LeBron will not be a Laker. At least that is the message that has been put out there. But I don't buy it. And I'm probably going to be the only person that says I don't buy it. Yeah, I'll bet, Jake. What's the bet? That he's going to stay with the Lakers?

Yeah. Okay, yeah. We'll figure that out. We'll figure that out in a moment. From the dome! Color 20. I'm not chroming the dome. My hair just started to grow back. I'm not shaving my head again. For the love of Christ. You do it right this time, bitch.

Call her 20 right now. We're going to get you into all these water parks if you want to go. Just call her 20 right now, 800-520-1067. Come back, grab your phone call, make you a winner next on KROQ. Say good morning to Caller 20, which puts us in Burbank, California, where you will probably see Jake walking the streets later today. And this is Nate. Good morning, Nate.

Hey, good morning. How you guys doing? Doing good. You're doing a lot better. You're going to be going to, listen to this, not Soak City. Six Flags Hurricane Harbor Los Angeles Wild Rivers all this summer tickets to all those and enjoy that those are all yours

hold on that's amazing thank you guys so much love you guys man thank you thank you Nate appreciate you checking out the show oh we got the L word we're kind of living forever now want to give people the gift of eternal life there's an old person that is going to be joining the Warriors next season

but before they do that they would like to share with you their secret to living to 106 years old it's time for an old people secret From chicken brain to drinking rain, not getting laid, they call me the barmaid. They call me the barmaid. Let's live forever with Sweet Dibbets. Time for some old people secrets.

106-year-old, listen closely. Want to live forever. Doing a lot of things. Keep doing those steps every day, but that may have nothing to do with it, according to this old person. Bubble gum, penicillin, sliced bread. That's the secret. It's this woman's diet. That is the secret.

It's penicillin, bubble gum, and sliced bread. If you do that, you'll live forever. Bubble gum, penicillin, sliced bread. Those are just a few things younger than a woman living right here at Valley V&A Senior Center. I'm your Nina neighborhood reporter, Darby McCarthy, and I got to meet Irma Peters, who just turned 106. So this woman is older than the invention of bubblegum and bread. I'm glad she said she got to meet her. Sliced bread.

She said she had to meet her. Right. She got a chance to meet her. She's our neighborhood reporter, which in the world of news, I think, means you are the newest person at the station. I think so, yeah. You're going to go over to this lady's house. Can I cover the international stories? No.

National, no. Local, no. World Cup, no. Neighborhood. Oh, damn. I came from a family of cans. This woman came from a family of cans. That's how old she is.

Do you hear? Do you know how old that makes you when your relatives were Cans? My brother was tuna. I was black beans. That's wild. I came from a family of Cans. I was the middle one. The middle Can?

She's the middle Can. You and those ones that aren't fully the right height? Right, right. And I have one sister. The youngest one is living. She's 92. In 1917, Irma Peters was born 18 presidents ago when Woodrow Wilson was in office. She's lived through two world wars, several pandemics, and...

If you hear them in the background, they're singing some song for, they're singing 106 over, listen to this, it's the... When Woodrow Wilson was in office. She's lived through two world wars, several pandemics, and prohibition. When she was born, the Green Bay Packers weren't around yet. They were founded when Irma was two years old. So, also, add to the list of bread and bubblegum and penicillin older than the Packers, the Green Bay Packers. You know, it's interesting that they're singing this song for her. I feel like it's just to let her know.

Right, just remind her. Remind her some. You're 106. They're, like, rhyming it with other things. Irma lives at Valley V&A Senior Center, surrounded by friends and caretakers. What makes you happy? Just to see my... I think at the Senior Center, she's just surrounded by other really old people. Right. I don't think she's surrounded by family and friends all the time.

What makes you happy? Just to see my friends and actually... Back then, some things were very different. We couldn't work. Oh, that sounds great. Sounds amazing. I wish I could go back to the days when women didn't have to work. Couldn't work.

At her vote. Everyone was fighting for the right to work, but now you're probably rethinking that, aren't you? Yeah. It couldn't work if we were married. They didn't want pregnant women. Ah, got it. You can feel the thrill around that, right? Yeah, yeah.

You don't like working with pregnant women. Allie, it's a lot of them. Attorney, what a rip-off. All those emotional ups and downs. Allie's feeling a little cranky today. She married her husband, John Peters, and had twin daughters. Over the years, she also has two grandchildren and one great-grandchild. Is there a lesson you've learned?

Just be friendly. I asked Irma about the secret to making it to 106 years old. All right, so now we're going to get her secret. Lock in your bets, but keep in mind, she said, you know, be friendly. That's where she started. She doesn't sound friendly. She doesn't have that friendly tone to her, but she does say be friendly, and she still has people showing up to her birthday party.

So, what is her secret to living to 106? So, we start this round with Vanessa. Hanging out with friends and family. All right. Vanessa's hanging out with friends and family. Allie, what is her secret? You know, I'm going to go rogue on this. I'm going to go smoking.

Ah, she's a smoker. She's a smoker. She's got that low voice. Every once in a while, you know that a big tobacco needs to get one of these old people in the news. I made it. Right. Talking about how old they are and how they smoke a carton a day and they have since the 30s. Yeah, I think when you smoke enough, it cancels out all the diseases.

That's what Secondhand Cindy says. Yeah, that's like Big Tobacco's answer to the Surgeon General. Oh, you got the Surgeon General? Guess who we got? This lady. This lady. Omar, what's your secret? Irma, 106.

I think in that song, I think, first of all, she's going to say, I love big Ds. Because I think in that song, I heard, you're 106, and you really love big Ds. I heard that, too, in the song. But I don't know if they're doing, like, dirty songs for her. Yeah, they're weird. That's what I heard. That's what we heard. Omar says Big D.

That would be interesting. All right, finally, Jake. You gotta work hard. She didn't work, though. She didn't work those Ds. She literally said she doesn't work. Yeah. She said she didn't work because she was pregnant.

They didn't want pregnant women. Terrible guess. Terrible guess. You gotta work hard. I asked Irma about the secret to making it to 106 years old, and she told me it's simple. Eat a lot of desserts and drink orange juice. NBC 26 that person's so

I think that was the result of it that explained the breath all that orange juice very acidic and drink orange juice NBC 26 that was me

falling down in the background another disappointing story back to you there you have it desserts and orange juice if you want to live for at least another week we'll come right back

after this break we've got more show to get to including a round of gunshot or firework and more after this k-rock line alley show summer's here maybe you've got plans to do some traveling a road trip in or you're gonna go on one of these trips you won from us at k-rock but the real question is i think that

people fall into one of two schools when they go on a trip they're either the do things or not do things or no things i'm usually a do things person on vacation i know you're a don't do things no person i just if i go to a new location i want to explore that location i want to see what it's like I want to see what are the things that I have to see that I can't miss. What are the meals I have to eat? What are the views I have to see? But this time around, I'm kind of on board with your. You got to jump on board with the no things.

No things takes away all the pressures. You get bored in two days, Tom. No, you don't. Yep. No things. You do. Don't do it. If you start to get bored, Omar, you do even less things.

You just keep eliminating things. Less things. But then I feel like at the end of the trip, I'll be like, I should have done a couple things. Yeah. And I'll regret that I didn't. You guys have seen my itinerary. Oh, my God. It's exhausting.

Omar's one of those people. I already started planning out, because I'm going to Tennessee and Missouri. I already started planning out all the activities. Every, if, God forbid, his kids want to sit down for 11 seconds. Omar goes, no, sorry, not in the, can't do it. Yeah, but they're down, aren't they? Oh, yeah. They love it.

They have no choice. They're terrified. They're terrified if they stand up to Omar and say, I need a break. I want to do a no things day. We're going to go on a trolley tour, riverboat tour. We're going to go to the Grand Ole Opry. Oh, my God. That sounds terrible.

Every single one of these. Less things. This is not fun for kids. No things, because if you're a go on vacation and do things person, you're the type of person that comes back and goes, I need a vacation from that vacation. I mean, I do feel a little sleep deprived and everything and tired. If you're a no things person, you come back and you feel recharged

because you did nothing. What did you do? I did nothing. Where did you go? I don't know. I went to Mexico. I went somewhere. I just, what'd you do?

Nothing. What do you do there? Nothing. I didn't leave the resort once. But there are certain places, like where Omar's going, you kind of can't do no things because you're, that's a place where you're supposed to go around and see some stuff. Sightsees. Sightsees.

In certain areas, if you're going to any place that would be, quote, tropical or have like a pool, good hotel pool situation or a beach, that's more, that's more welcoming to the no things. So we're doing a family trip to Hawaii with my mom and the stepdad and the kids. No things. There's so many things to see there. Exactly. There is an itinerary.

There's a group itinerary, and then each family has made their own separate tab with their own itinerary. And I don't know where we're going to fall on this itinerary because I can join in all the things that they have planned, or I can opt out and just not do any of the things. Yeah, no things. I'm telling you, team no things. No, no, no. You've got to do the ATV thing where, you know, they guide you through Jurassic Park locations. They always try.

Sounds good for a pregnant person. They always, it's always. You're not that pregnant. Whenever you do things, you've got to fill out paperwork. You've got to sign waivers. You've got to go somewhere. You've got to usually meet a bunch of other strangers that are all sunburned to. The ATVs sound fun.

You think to yourself, you know what's fun? Doing no things. And sitting around and then sitting around some more. What about that fake meat factory? You've got to go see that. Fake meat factory? Yeah, what is that fake meat? The spam factory.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can go to the spam factory? I think they love spam in Hawaii. Is that from Hawaii or just popular there? Well, I think they have a factory there. Allie, if you don't go to the spam factory, we should make up a bunch of stuff that Allie can't possibly do. I'm checking in for two under spam factory, please. Listen, I think that...

Don't your kids get bored? I don't care. Oh. It's a no-things trip. See, that makes it your problem. If there's nothing to do, then it comes back on you. You have to plan things so that they... Not even if you're going to hang out by the beach, you're going to get like a boogie board or something?

No, no, no. That's too much of a thing. Maybe plant a snorkel? Grab a snorkel? Oh, terrible. People's mouths are all over that thing. You don't want to see fish? See the gross people that get out and put that thing in a little saltwater bucket, and then the next people grab it out and they put it in their mouth.

I think it's funny when they decide to clean it. They're like, here's how you clean your goggles. Oh, shit. And then just rub it around, and you're like, ew. And then they go, wait, that's not yours. Grab that one over there. We just cleaned it. This will help me see the sea turtles

This is great now I can see the sea life through all this phlegm in my goggles So I can do nothing Or I can hike Makalakahoa Falls Trail The answer is, like everything You want to have some sort of balance I think Omar's is way too far on one side Because every god damn second is

I'm going to go see Third Man Records too If I plan two, three things Two to three things I got one thing One thing seems like Even that, if you're lucky enough to have a couple of days where you can have a day or two of nothing, then followed by that one day in the middle where you do a thing, and then two more days to recover from that thing,

then you've, I think, planned out your week properly. So it's like there's a day where they're all going to the spa. I'm not doing that. But is that classified as a thing? That's more of a thing than I'd like. Because this is like there's reservations being made. It's like planning, which seems like too much work. I don't want to plan anything.

It's just showing up and sitting somewhere. I want everyone else to plan it for me. And then they go, you've got to stop sitting here and check out now. You go, all right, well, that's what I did. That's Hawaii for you. There's an imprint of my ass in the sand for seven days. If you look that way, you'll see the ocean. I don't want to bother.

I don't want to see the ocean. I just want to sit right here. Hold on, you can't see it. Oh, I can get it. Yeah, you can see it. Now take a look. You solved that problem. Are you a thing people or a no-thing people?

That's a good question. And you will ponder it, I'm sure. Oh, yeah, someone says you've got to go to the McDonald's in Hawaii. They got the delicious Spam dishes there. So now you got something to do. That's a thing. That's a thing. Gunshot or Firework, you will ask yourself that question more than a few times over the next few weeks.

So we'd like to get you all prepared and ready to go. If you'd like to play with us right now, the number is 800-520-1067. It has been difficult so far. We've had zero winners so far this year in Gunshot or Firework. It's crazy how every single time someone feels like they know the answer, which is exactly what you'll be doing when you lay in your bed at night and go, I don't know, should I report that or is that just Firework? So this time of year, usually I think the odds would be in the favor of fireworks,

but still, you play the game every single night, and we get you ready for it. It's time for Gunshot or Firework. When you live in L.A., you hear nightly. My time's on, nerd. Not that. That's just that lead. Just that lead. Here at I Can't Rock, talking about the sound that happens on your block.

Firework or Gunshot. All right, Saturday is the 4th of July. It does not mean that we wait until Saturday to light fireworks, and it doesn't mean we stop lighting them on July 5th, because you'll be hearing them pretty much now through Christmas, we believe. And then you've got a few left over just in time for 2027, baby. Let's say hi to Jasmine in La Puenta and welcome you to a brand-new round of Gunshot or Firework.

Good morning. Good morning. You will learn a thing or two. Here we go. Today, listen to this. Is that a gunshot or firework? So far, we've had no winners this year in gunshot or firework. I'm going to go with gunshot. All right.

She's locked in on gunshot. The last few times, I believe we had something called laughing gas that was a firework. Yesterday, I believe it was another firework. I forget the name of it. She says gunshot. Once again, here's what it is. Why do you say gunshot before I give you the answer? I feel like the echo-iness of it just sounds like a gunshot to me.

Recoil. That's what us men say. I don't know. Us men. We don't know how you sound. I'm just kidding, Jake. No, you are not. Stop it.

You're off today. Say the word, then. What are we looking for, then? Doesn't matter. Yeah, right. Turn your mic off. Here's, let's do it again. She says gunshot.

Ah, the recoil, and that's great. Oh, hear that recoil. That is an absolute gun. I believe that's a Colt .45, Jake. Would you know that by hearing it? No. That's what it sounds like to me. And I know guns.

Could be a Remington. Could be a Glock 9. I don't know. A Smith, a Wesson, or both? Probably both. It doesn't matter. You got it right. That's gunshot, Jasmine.

Congratulations. The first winner of the season gunshot a firework, which means you're already a better neighbor to have because you will not be calling the authorities to report fireworks. Hang tight. we wrap up the show with some takeaways after this

give that lady a prize some illegal fireworks or something even better next on KROG KROG Klein Alley Show that'll pretty much do it for us but stick around

because Sluggo's in here with more of those tickets for you to go enjoy all the water parks in Southern California you'll have a chance every single hour starting again

in about 20 minutes keep on calling keep on winning and keep on swimming when you go to those water parks you can either sit there and do nothing or you can do things

the choice is yours choose wisely I did a little of both when I was at the water park takeaways from today's show, and then we will get into whatever else we have after this. We have meetings today? What do we have after the show today?

Meetings? I call no meetings. Okay, no meetings. Alright. I need a nap. Oh, boy. Plus, I just don't want to go. That's Vanessa for you. She needs a nap. She's gone through a lot today. It's not a soccer I've been watching.

It's exhausting, isn't it? It's exhausting. It really is. It is exhausting, because I tried to watch one of those matches last night, and they played for two damn hours, and then they did the penalty kicks and it was too much. And then it's still basically a tie until they just do kickoffs. It's too hard to score

in this game, guys. You gotta rethink it. I've got a whole plan to save soccer. No one's gonna like this. Start the game with the penalty kicks. Great idea. And then if anyone wins, game's over, everyone can go home. But if it's tied then, then you go play the game. Yes. Because I feel like the game is a formality.

So potentially the games can be only minutes long? Yes, maybe less. Or not at all. If done the right way, and a team scores two, another team only scores one, and the penalty kicks, and everyone gets to leave. And the penalty kicks are BS, too. It's like, where am I going to go? Where am I going to go? That's exciting.

I'm going to kick it this way. I'm going to jump that way. That's exciting. At least you have a chance for a goal there. Yes, at least there are goals being scored. You get to see what it's actually like. Hey, but Omar made a good point earlier. We'll have to look into this. He said that Kevin Ryder, now back on Afternoons at KROQ, half of the Kevin and Dean show,

well, I'd argue 40%, maybe 30%, but or whatever, part of the Kevin and Bean show. Now you're being kind. 25% of the Kevin and Bean show. There you go. He used to be a real soccer hater, and now there's probably not a bigger soccer fan in the building than Kevin Ryder.

He hated it with a passion. He even wrote an article for a magazine on how much soccer sucked. Yeah, and now he's really come around. And then he did an entire 180. I think he's a season ticket holder at the Galaxy now. He's traveling around the world to see soccer. He's going to the World Cup. I think he goes to whatever country it's happening in.

I mean, that guy has really flipped it. So maybe, who knows, Al? You hate all you want, but maybe. Does he keep watching? Maybe he keeps watching, and eventually you get back into it. The problem is if you have a... It just seems too hard to score. I would be fine with soccer, but now I've got kids playing soccer, so I'm back to hating it again.

If you're playing something for 90 minutes straight and you can't score, it's too hard. I know about that. Jake sure does. Sure does. Takeaways from today's show. What do we got? Okay. 5, 6, 2.

My takeaway is Jake doesn't look for houses. He looks for shacks. Yeah. He's on Zillow looking for other shacks. 6, 2, 6. Allie's a dummy sexual. 818, Klein's a simp. 909, my takeaway is who the hell is Campbell?

818, Santa Monica College wasn't built for short people. 213, my takeaway is the sound of bacon and some maybes is a great sign in your relationship. And 310, my takeaway is stilts Vanessa Walken. We haven't forgotten about that. Yeah, getting Vanessa some stilts. Thank you all you shorties for joining us on the show today with your horror stories of being tiny and short. Hopefully you make it through the day without being petted or stepped on. And Brad Williams, unexpected stop by earlier, so thank you for that as well.

Vanessa, what's your takeaway from today's show? Speaking of shorties, Brad Williams rocks a lesbian hat. He does. He does have that lesbian hat. I thought he was wearing a hat with a hair. I know. I was thinking about that too. Why is he wearing the hat if he's got the hair now?

I almost asked him to take it off. I feel like the hair fell out. It must have. Yeah, it must have fallen out. I didn't see it tufted under there. No, you're right. I didn't see it either. which makes me think it was all AI to begin with.

Maybe that's his new hair and that hat. Maybe. It's like glued on. That's hair that's just grown so thick it looks like a beret. What's your takeaway from today's show, Johnny? Allie likes ice. Fancy ice. Allie likes fancy ice, that's right.

Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is if you make the lollipops, you should get to eat them. Hey, if you make them, you get them. That's the rules. You have a takeaway, Jake? We're not Princeton people. No, we're not. Omar, takeaway?

If you see Vanessa, pick her up. She loves it. Yeah. She does love it. She does. She said. If you don't pick me up, I will punch you. She did say that she loves you.

Yeah, that's right. I'm strong. It'll be right in the crotch because that's where she's at. Have a great day. Do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, there's a goat line for you. 844-956-GOAT.

Download the podcast. Check us out on YouTube and all that other stuff. All right, goodbye. Climbing Alley. It's just okay. Do-do-do. Climbing Alley. It's just okay.

Wow. All right, this episode of Klein Alley Show, the podcast has come to an end. But if you haven't heard the big news, we are now on YouTube. That's right. Mr. Beast and us, the two most important things on YouTube. We're YouTube sluts now, and we're proud of it. You can watch the show. We recommend you do.

In fact, it makes us look good to the bosses and the people who make decisions around here. So please, even if you don't want to see what we look like, and I don't blame you, if you could, go to KROQ's YouTube, subscribe, maybe even leave a comment or two under some of our videos, and you can watch us live every single morning on YouTube and watch the show after the fact when they upload it as a real big afterthought. And of course, you can always follow us on Instagram at Klein Alley Show and listen to the live show on the radio at KROQ 106.7 on the Odyssey app or probably a better app. God, what have you done?