Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - No Spend September

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley Show in just a moment, but in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world, plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines, you're going to be miserable, you're going to say, oh, I got to get there two, three hours before my flight.

Not at San Bernardino International Airport. And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. Allie, smell my fingers real quick. I know you're a big fan of this game. Will do. Give them a sniff. What do you got? You got anything over there?

I smell barbecue, light barbecue. Yeah, you got that coming through. Guys, I got our ribs cooking there in the company kitchen right now. Rack of ribs. Ate something in the morning. Seems appropriate. Hey, I'm with you. I'll eat as many ribs as I can.

Any sides? No, I did not bring sides. What? Where are the sides? Dude, just ribs? Jeez, man. Where are the mashed potatoes? I asked Jake if he could help me find foil,

and he looked in one of the drawers in his nerd hole and goes, no, don't ask me, sorry. Use it all. Yeah, well, you know, I just walked out there and found some, so thanks for the help, dude. I mean. I did look, and you specifically bought those in for Jake, right? Yeah, of course.

He walked in and said, where are my ribs? My ribs. He walked in this morning and said, where are my ribs? He proceeded to pick up all the other snacks and food I brought myself and started looking at everything and shaking it, going, these are my ribs, where's my ribs? You're supposed to bring them on Tuesday. I heard you ask him for the foil,

and I didn't even see Jake leave his office or open his door. No, he didn't. He looked right next to him. He didn't see it. This is the same thing. I used to have some in here. Okay, great.

This is the same time when we went to Aftershock. I said, is there a place where you can go get a COVID shot or get some medication? Looks to the left, looks to the right. No, I don't think so. No place. You know, you could walk outside. Remember the time we needed scissors?

I did walk outside. We needed scissors. Jake couldn't do something because he didn't have scissors because they weren't immediately next to him. Do you realize we're asking you to look? For foil? Like outside my office? Yeah, like where it would be in the kitchen.

Maybe you could help out since we're doing a show here. Maybe you could look around. I'm literally between doing a show, rushing out there to make your goddamn ribs. I don't know what's happening here. He's stressed. Oh, yeah, I'm doing stuff. Ask Johnny.

Oh, my God. Well, anyway, they're slow roasting now for the next 30. Then they'll be ready to go. 30 minutes? I'm going to slow roast them for 30. You'll flip them, and then I'll boil both sides. Do like a broil situation. When can we expect these?

In like two hours? They'll be done by dinner. Oh, God. I'm not going to be here. Don't worry. We don't get them anyway. Just Jake's going to get them. Okay.

It is Thrifty Thursday. El Cheapo likes to come in here and brag about how good she is at being cheap, even though we all think it's kind of sad and pathetic. And anyway, she's got a challenge for us, so listen closely. It's time to talk to the kingpin of cheap. Here she is, El Cheapo. You like to make fun of me because if there's any extra money left over, it goes right into my savings account. I don't blow money on things that I don't need.

And did you know anything about No Spend September? That's made up. The No Spend September Challenge. It is not made up. No Spend September? No Spend September. Are you willing to take the No Spend September Challenge with me? It's half over already.

Yeah, this has been a very expensive month for me already. I got a stupid dog running around my house ruining stuff. I also could not participate until now because I've been doing a lot of traveling. However, it's still good to make up for lost time. What the hell is no spend September? Until the end of September, starting today, I challenge everybody on this show and everybody listening to partake in the challenge. Only pay for essential things, so you're covering your bills, rent, mortgage, whatever, utilities, basic groceries. You eliminate any other spend.

No dining out, no takeout, no clothes, no coffee shop runs, no impulse online shopping from your couch. All of that is done. No new subscriptions. Avoid signing up for anything new. And for you, Klein, I encourage you to go through your bills and realize that you are paying for a lot of things that you don't even utilize. So you could probably save a ton of money just by taking 10 minutes to go through and figure out that you're still paying for JibJab. This is a meaningless thing. there's a no-spend October, too.

There's a no-spend every month. I just looked it up. Get ready for no-spend November. Oh, forget all that stuff. Well, the holidays you can't really do it. I'm sorry, I couldn't get you a gift this year for Christmas. I was participating in no-spend December. Let's do no-spend December.

Perfect. No presents this year. She doesn't want to do no-spend. Yeah, no presents. Why don't you want to do no-spend September, Vanessa? I have to buy myself some running shoes like today. Sorry, you can't. You can make shoes right now.

Duct tape and tissue boxes. For my life, this doesn't work for my life. Okay, Vanessa, you can eliminate TikTok shop for the next month and probably save a lot of money because a lot of the things that you buy on there are junk. I fake shop on TikTok. My bag is full. I bought nothing. She puts it all in the cart and doesn't actually. Just to look at it.

This is a great time to use what you already own. Wait as long as you can to go grocery shopping. Make sure you've used every single pantry item. Clean out that old can of beans that you haven't used in two years. Make sure it's all used up before you buy again. It's like a total reset for your house. And people are doing this. Some people have supposedly been doing this all month long.

Yeah, it is a popular financial reset that people do every single year. And you have not been doing it because you were traveling and then you went to a wedding. Yeah, this month has been hard because we had planned travel and all that crap. A day for the weekend and for the wedding. Did you give that wedding gift yet or are you trying to throw this? I did. Oh, you already did. Yes.

What did you end up giving for the wedding gift? I did $200 for their baby fund. They're trying to have a baby. A baby fund? Mm-hmm. What the hell is that about? What are you funding? Them to have a baby.

They're two women. They have to do... Oh, got it. I forgot. They have to spend money on it. Man, that ain't cheap. Yeah, it's not cheap. I'll throw in a load if you want, if that helps.

You know, I'll write a note. Yeah, let them know. That's free. Of course. Yeah, I also encourage you specifically, Klein, to find free fun. swap paid outings for walks and home movie nights or free local community events.

Oh, those are the worst. I think there's some, like, art walk happening near where I live, and I just remember thinking, don't want to walk down the street this day. I'll do my fart walk right by the art walk. Yeah, a fart walk, I'm on board with, but the art walk, forget it.

You're talking to a guy who paid for dog yoga, puppy yoga. Yeah, my other suggestion for you would be just return the dog, because that's not going to be helpful for you at all. You've already spent a lot of money on this puppy that you really don't even want, And I think now is the time to just turn around.

You know, I'm glad you brought up this no spend September thing. I wasn't going to mention this. I had reached out to someone about helping me to train this dog. So this one's actually trained properly. And I asked the person, what do you charge? And you know what they said? I don't charge. I swear to you, read the email.

I don't charge for this. I will accept gifts and or donations if you find that appropriate. But I do not charge. Happy no spend September, baby. Hope you like ribs. Oh, the gift of ribs. Just hand and ribs and foil. Hey, who wouldn't like to be paid in ribs, huh?

It's a beautiful gift. You know, 714 pointed out that Apple has been actively trying to combat no-spend September for years with their Apple events. Of course. 714, no-spend September. We have new iPhones to buy. Yeah, I got to get that flippy thing. When's that come out? 818, Allie, can I still buy weed?

Yes, that is deemed essential. Weed is essential. But also, I think if you look hard enough, if you really do smoke weed. You could probably find stuff. You could find weed. I have done such a good job lately because I've just been too lazy to go back to the store. I just go into, like, all my hiding places, and I always find weed. It's crazy.

That's the thing, though, with groceries and with everything, right? Think about how creative you get when you don't want to go to the grocery store and you have to make food. This is how BF Dursday was born. Yeah, but yesterday, you guys publicly, in front of my wife, shamed me over these airwaves because I try to keep things in the fridge to do exactly what you're talking about. So I can throw together a fun Sunday jambalaya mix-mish-mash of things that have been building up all week long. And you guys said, throw it out, throw it out, throw it out. And this is exactly what you're saying to do right now. Yes, but her point was that you don't actually ever eat it.

So you have to make a point to eat it. Sundays is all about that giant, crazy, weird-ass buffet. That's just a combination of a leftover taco, a slice of pizza, meatball. This is the time for all those weird freezer items that have been stuck in the back. You know, I bought corn dogs from Costco. i think three years ago i still got a few of those i'll bring them in this is the time it is a total reset so how many what are we now what is today september 17th so that's we're talking about let's just do two weeks we got half of september left and who could spend the least who can spend the

least and we have to it's important to log all of our purchases so what doesn't count bill any bill any bill that doesn't count what about credit card bill ka-ching well no you have to pay your credit card bill i can pay the minimum no because then you've got all the interest all right so so credit card bill all bills don't count yeah but your credit card bill you also are gonna you don't spend frivolously on your credit card that's what credit cards are for frivolous frivolous spending if you spend anything beyond a an essential bill you need to write it down and i want to know if that is a verified purchase accepted by me uh-huh and the goal buying mass amounts of honey baked ham and ribs i would i would offer that to be a non-essential purchase essential you we went into

that honey baked ham shop not expecting to buy anything and how much did you spend hundreds over or close to 100 yeah that is not essential you didn't need to buy that vanessa has been planning on buying running shoes that's something that she's been tracking and and planning to buy that's something that was a planned but that's what's on your feet right now you got shoes i think uh this is the number one thing i can not run with these shoes what do you have on what do they look like vans flat you run we'll run with them what are you kidding me caveman used to run around barefoot all the time they run away from tigers you're fine in vans nah that's my point is that we convince ourselves almost every time we make a purchase that's why it's a challenge

right okay so that's at the end of the month we can all present here's how much i spent this is jake no more concert t-shirts no more weird posters oh i buy his beans patchouli yeah all that stuff and i want to see who has spent the least i think believe it or not even though jake probably spends the least on a actual monetary number. He spends the most on frivolous, useless nonsense. He overspends the most, beyond his means. So, yes, you do only buy beans. That's true.

But then you also will see a weird blacklight poster on Facebook Marketplace, and next thing you know, you've got Shrek in a top hat on your wall. That was a bargain. That's not, though. And I feel like Omar, by the way, this shouldn't be even Stephen Alley, because some of us have kids, and it's more expensive. Yes, but think about when you go out to the grocery store, when you go out and they say, hey, can I have a snack? Hey, can I have a hiss?

It's a no, no. Now we just say yes because we want to shut them up. They're growing kids. Bring them from home. You got goldfish at home. I will tell my children tonight with audio recording that we are now entering no spend September. No squishies. And I will get kicked in the face.

I'm telling you right now. Are there birthday parties coming up? Yeah, they have birthday parties this weekend. No spend September. Every year for their birthday. Oh. Man, that is going to go off a break. Tomorrow night, I'm going to the Dodger game.

I'm going to spend no money when I'm there. How is that? I've already purchased my tickets and my parking, but I'm not going to spend it. That's already like $1,000. Yeah. But you know what's interesting? That's the most spent. Since I bought these tickets, the price has doubled, and I could make $500 selling those

tickets and staying home. Is this like for a bobblehead night? I don't know what the hell it's for. If you get to make money, can you count that against frivolous spending? I didn't like to spend that well that would counteract the savings like if I started whoring or something that's girl math right there

I have a free $500 how am I going to spend it I'm going to go to TJ Maxx baby or like when you return something well you made money no you already spent it no spend September challenge which starts now because we couldn't possibly do an entire month so we're all starting at zeros across the board

let's see who can end the month with zeros that's from El Cheapo on.