Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Petty Claims Court

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley Show in just a moment, but in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world, plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines, you're going to be miserable, you're going to say, oh, I got to get there two, three hours before my flight.

Not at San Bernardino International Airport. And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. KROQ, we're the Klein Alley Show. About to get into a legal proceeding known as Petty Claims Court. And I believe this is a case that will be taking place between myself and my wife. Now, Allie has been in Petty Claims Court before with her wife. I forget how that ended, and I don't even remember what the issue was. Ended in more fighting at home.

Yeah, it's usually what happens. I'd love to talk to all of the hundreds of couples that have joined us for Petty Claims Court over the years and figure out if it has made the relationship better or worse. I think that people like to know when they're fighting about something, especially something petty, that they're in the right. I think everyone just wants to feel like they're right. I don't think it's about being heard. It's about being right. Well, and we've learned over the years of doing this that things aren't so black and white.

It starts off where you're like. My case is black and white. But that's what it starts with. Open shot. Oh, I know immediately who I'm going to side with. And then little things start poking out. Then things are brought up from other situations. And there's a lot of gray area there.

So my wife will be joining, and we'll get into a petty claims court. And I ask that you listen to this like a true jury of peers should. You hear both sides before you immediately text in Klein's right. That's the important thing. Really, don't even worry about what you hear. Just make sure you text in Klein's right so that I win this case. Because if I lose, I don't think I'll be returning to my house. So just remember when you hear this case that will be brought to you in a moment,

you'll get to hear my side of it, you'll get to hear her side of it, and then you get to make a decision once and for all who you believe is right. guess you lose let's not start locking in on who's going to win or lose i think you lose most arguments in your home you just lost the puppy argument yeah but but once again this one i think is going to hit a lot of people at their core and i know ali it's going to hit you at your core so we will get to that right now he's got a huge core getting bigger by the moment it's time for petty claims court in the legal system cases are tried from supreme courts to small claims court But what about stuff that's too small for Small Claims Court?

This is Petty Claims Court. The first 100 texts will determine who wins and who loses, but you cannot start the texting process until you hear what I have to say and what my wife has to say, who has been nice enough to give us some of her very valuable time this morning. Good morning. Hello? Did you change your mind, or are you there?

I'm here. Okay, great. You've been brought to this courtroom today for an issue that has been happening for most of our marriage. But it's gotten more excessive lately. And that is the speed at which you will throw out things that you consider to be, quote, expired, even though they are not expired. Leftovers that you will throw in the trash because they've been in the fridge for, in your mind, 24 hours. I had 30 chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A recently. I always order the 30-pack because I can pick at that for a good week afterwards.

She'll chuck those sometimes the next day and go, I don't know, all these leftover nuggets, taking up room, get rid of them. Is the chucking happening without asking beforehand? Yeah. There's no asking. Sometimes I will go and I'll see a giant, I'll go to take the trash out, and I'll look at it, and I'll be like, and I'll look at it, and I'll go, this was my plan. This is like my meal prep for the next four days. It's all just sitting in the garbage. All my plans are in the trash again.

It's just all mocking me. We've had birthday cakes, Omar, that were, I don't know, 80% still cake. And she's decided that they've been in there long enough, whatever long enough means. Okay, but has there ever been an issue with any of you getting sick while eating some food that was actually left there a little too long? No. But her concern is... That's because I don't let it happen. No, no, because she has a better safe than sorry mentality.

but her better safe is like even as we approach an expiration date i mean approach it we're not there we're not past it we're getting close to it she goes i don't know let's get a little close to the date chuck city have there been things that haven't even been opened yet that were thrown in the trash no uh hello no there have been some there have been some Nice argument. Did you hear him say hello? There have been some condiments and stuff that have been in the fridge, and you've decided to chuck them because sometimes when the data is even harder to read

or a little blurry, you just go, ah, I don't know what it says. And I go, it says 2028. We're good. You're like, nah, better safe than sorry. Kevin, to give you an idea of how skewed your timing and stuff is off, you will give the kids you'll go on an airplane for six hours, you'll make a bagel

with cream cheese, then we'll get off the airplane, get home and you'll try to give them that for lunch the next day. You cannot do it. If you look up expiration time, it says the longest you can leave cream cheese out

that's okay is two hours. And then once I say, okay, you eat it, you'll never eat it. I save it. I put it in the fridge. I save it. You never know when you're going to want that. I did not know about the bagel cream cheese.

That's not unusual. And he'll take on the airplane chicken and then try to give it to our kids. Not himself, but try to use it for lunch. Well, no, if they're okay after an hour, then I'll eat it. I check them first. How much are you bringing on the plane? Seriously, dude. First of all, the argument.

Is it a carry-on just of chicken and bagels? I do travel with a lot of chicken. You'll save anything and try to feed it to our children, but you won't eat it. I see. So you're just trying to pass it on to them, but you won't eat it? That's false. I don't get a chance to eat it. Bang the gavel.

She's talking out of turn. I don't get a chance. I don't get a chance to eat it. Hello. Hello. I would eat it if I was given the chance, but you are so quick to toss. Kevin has literally said, I'm going to throw this out. This is from five days ago, unless you will eat it.

And guaranteed, every time I say, you want to eat it? You always say no. I'm like, let me see you eat it. Because you know that it's gone bad. How long do you believe a leftover is good for? How long do you believe a leftover is good for in the fridge? Depends what it is. Like Chick-fil-A nuggets, for instance.

We got 30 of them. I get 30 at a time. 30. Kevin, your timing on stuff is very wrong. You don't even know what day the girls take a shower on. That's irrelevant. There's only one day in the week they take a shower? Overruled.

Sustained. Isn't every day shower day? Smash the gavel. Smash it, Allie. Yeah, not the cabin. All right. Wait. All right.

Wait, wait, wait. I do have something to say. Thank you. As somebody who sees Klein every morning as well, I have seen him bring in leftovers that have been concocted together. And he'll even ask me, does this bacon look gray to you? And he'll ask me various questions about the food he's brought in. Sometimes.

Because you are going to eat it. So I know you're saying that he doesn't eat. I have seen him eat weird leftover concoctions in the studio. No, no, no. Those are his kibble bowls that he's made himself the night before. Trust me when I say he's not eating these leftovers that I've offered him. And I've even said, okay, then you eat it in front of me. He will never eat it.

I present to the jury right now a leftover salad I have here today. This is Leavins from a salad that was partially eaten last night. You probably would have chucked this thing. I think it was in the trash pile. I saved it. The problem is that you're a hoarder, okay? Hoarder? I'm not a hoarder.

Hoarder in the park. Hoarder. Listen. You are. Let me ask you about pizza. Right now in the fridge, how many pizzas do we currently have in the fridge? Ridiculous amount. They're never going to get eaten.

Okay. But you like to see it there for some weird reason, am I? You just like to know it's there? Dude, you have a problem, Clive. I have multiple pizzas. Hi. Good afternoon. How have you been?

The pizzas are fun. Good nighty night. The pizzas are in the fridge every once in a while. Pizza, hello! I like to take a slice out, throw it on, heat it up. But you know what? The pizza can live in there for a week easy. Easy.

That's why they call it easy peasy. Is it in the full box or are you breaking it down into like bags? That's a lot of space that's being taken up. It takes boxes first and then when we're down to like three slices, I'll move it into foil. And then from foil, it'll go in a bag. But it all goes in your trash mouth? Well, eventually she throws it out. I mean, that's the life cycle of most things.

What about aside from leftovers? You'll never throw anything out. I don't think I've ever seen you go into our fridge and be like, let me go through and see what's old and what's not. There's like yogurts from like two months ago. The yogurts, they're already bad. The kids will eat them. Yesterday I pulled out a turkey packet.

The turkey was gray. I think I saw you eat the turkey. I think I ate that gray turkey. That was delicious. You were asking me about it. Yeah, that was good. I tried to get some to Allie. What about just a regular, say, let's go back to condiments, like a ketchup bottle.

Are you going through and throwing those things out before their expiration date? No, because I don't use those either, nor do the kids. If he wants to eat it, fine, okay? But A, he won't eat it. Well, just so you know, I've started bringing leftovers and putting them here at the fridge at K-Rock because I know that... This is just like all your, like, chalk keys and stuff. And you're like, oh, I'll put them on display in my office. Like, you won't get rid of anything.

By the way, they're not on display. They're just in a box. Yeah. Yeah. There's another box that you're never going to use. All right. Well, once again, we're jumping away. You're moving away to the...

No, no, no. This is related because it's hoarder related. This has bearing on the case. All right. 661 says I've heard enough. Klein is wrong. Heard my last name's Klein, too. So it's probably...

I mean... We don't need to take pictures of all my drawers. That has nothing to do with what we're talking about today. I'd like to see the evidence. I'm not actually wasting some of the problem that you're hoarding. Anyone who's listening, we have 10 seconds closing arguments and then the audience will vote. And I just want to say this before we get to that. Anyone who's listening who has looked forward to a leftover that was sitting in their fridge.

Omar, I know you know this all too well. And you get excited to eat it and you go back and you're thinking about it all day and you open it up and it's nowhere to be seen. Now, in your particular case, I think you said your wife ate it before you could. But imagine if that leftover was just sitting in your trash can because your wife determined it had passed its prime and was no good. Threw it away. Just threw it away. I don't even want to bring up the fact that you'll chuck a jar of peanut butter that has 35% of peanut butter left at the bottom. Yeah, what's that about?

First of all, you don't even eat peanut butter, so you don't know. It's not about if I eat it or not. Second of all, the amount is like one spoonful that has crusted over. Still good. Still good. No, it's not. And you're not going to eat it. It's for the girls.

They don't care. You can give the girls anything. It doesn't matter. They throw out whatever we make them anyway. So at least, okay. 10 seconds closing arguments. I'd like some music, actually, for my closing. I'd like music.

For my closing argument. Omar, do you have anything, some music you could play? I'd like to get the joke. You know you're losing, which is why you want impactful music. Can I get impactful music, please? I'm not losing anything. I'm losing you all. Goodbye.

I didn't lose anything. People haven't voted yet. Thank you, Omar. We live in a wasteful society. Oh, man. But throwing away a third of a jar of peanut butter, a half-eaten cake, or even seven chicken nuggets is not only wasteful. It's irresponsible. Because you don't know what sort of cake, peanut butter, nugget concoction

I was planning on making later that night after I smoked weed. Okay, Danielle, would you like to give 10 seconds of your impactful argument? I mean, I won, so. That's not an argument. Omar, do you want to play the music? That's not an argument. All right, vote now. I can't argue with somebody that has no concept of time.

All right, you're talking over the song now. We are late. We are running behind, so she makes a good point. Vote now. KROQ Klein Alley Show. We'll get to the verdict in just a moment. It's Petty Claims Court. If you would like to be featured in a future Petty Claims Court,

we've got an all-new email account here at KROQ. Just to accommodate all the people that would like to settle their disputes, you can just email us, pickme at kroq.com. That's pickme at kroq.com. Let us know why you'd like to be featured at Petty Claims Court. We oftentimes give people prizes if we pick you and put you on the air. And more importantly, you get bragging rights in your relationship, and it's all about scorekeeping, so you can have the most points at the end.

We're going to say hi to my wife again in a moment. Natalie, you're on KROQ. A lot of thoughts about this case, battling over when leftovers get thrown out versus when they get saved. What's up, Natalie? Hey, so my question is, and, you know, I'm assuming in your favor here, that you're, how big is your refrigerator? Why is there an argument? Is there no space?

That's a great point. I'm assuming your fridge has got to be big. It's a regular size. You have a decent-sized... Refrigerator. You can fit multiple pizzas in there, yeah. Well, the pizza boxes go in the vegetable drawer because no one uses the vegetable drawer for vegetables.

So I put the pizza boxes in there. I would love to get a snapshot of your fridge. Yeah, pizza's good three weeks. Thank you. You know, that sounds like your votes for me. Zeke, we always... Oh, good, Zeke. We always give you an award here,

and then we'll bring my wife back on. Allie's been tabulating votes on the text line. A lot of thoughts coming through. What's up, Zeke? Hey, top of the morning, Clark. Check me out, man. What's up? You can't stop hoarding, man.

The food's no good, dog. You can't be eating something that's poor. If she says it's no good, it's no good. Because your kids, you know, you got to think about your kids, man. You can't be giving them some old food like that. I know you're trying to save some money or whatever. I know you like leftovers. They might taste better if you got them on hard.

Go. Zeke, I don't know. I think you're on my side based on what you're saying. No, he's saying he's voting for your wife. Is that right, Zeke? That's right. Okay. Well, that's unclear.

He's undetermined right now. Pretty clear. All right. You know, 310 on the text line is giving a vote to you. Klein, winner, winner, chicken nugget dinner. That's right. 213, my vote is for the wife. Klein is obviously a food hoarder and someone needs to call TLC.

949 said, I vote for Klein's wife because she said she won. Yeah, well, that was a stupid argument she made. 661 said they vote for Klein because what's it to her if she doesn't want to eat it anyway? Then why not give Klein the chance to eat it? But 6-6-1, if she's throwing things away that she would not otherwise be eating, then what's the harm in keeping it there for an extra couple days? Can I ask you that, honey? Give you a chance.

Why can't, what's the harm of just leaving it there? Because it'll just sit there. You'll never throw it out. It'll literally start rotting, and there's no room for fresh food and fresh vegetables and fruits for the girls. Fresh vegetables, not in my house. We have to let the new food rot. Yeah, where do we put the fresh vegetables?

We've got the pizza in the vegetable drawer. Yeah, see that? You know I'm right, so. As a person who throws the food away at my household, man, I am on your wife's side. Every story of yours is an exaggeration from the dog, too, okay? Oh. What's going on with the dog? Was that Klein's decision to adopt?

It was not my decision. Of course it was. He sent me. I can show you. He sent me the picture. No, but this is after you guys wore me down. You wore me down, and I didn't. I didn't wear you down at all.

You kept sending me dogs from that place. Yeah, I said, look at these dogs. They all need houses. You were sending her D-pics? D-pics, a lot of D-pics. And then your poor, now your poor kids think that you don't want this dog, and they're so, Olivia's like crying all the way to school. Great.

There's no need to bring this up now. And she has to eat the bagel. Everything's an exaggeration. Eat your poison bagel. Eat your poison airport bagel. All right, Allie's going to read the verdict here. We'll deal with that next week, okay? Email pickmeatkyrock.com if you want to come on and talk about that.

All right. Allie, let's go ahead now. I'm sure I won this one, so let's just move on. Well, I have tabulated the votes from the YouTube live stream and from the text line, and I've also factored in some of the phone calls that we've received, which have been many. And Klein's wife has 59% of the votes. So, as she already predicted, she has won this edition of Petty Claims Court. I would toss it out, but Klein wouldn't let me.

I'll eat it out of the trash. That's fine. I'm just going to start bringing a bag of stuff in here from our fridge to this fridge. No, don't. Our fridges are gross, too. Don't make it even more gross. I'll eat it. Yeah, Jake will eat it.

All right. You should have Jake. This is the solution. Have Jake come over every Sunday when it's fridge clean-out time and have him clean out your fridge. Yeah, sure, bro. Would you like that? what jake to come over to tune out already i'm sorry i'm watching your dog that you don't want