Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - RIP Dolly, RIP Tim Curry, RIP Jake's Girlfriend (FULL SHOW 8/26)

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

We suck at tributes, but we tried multiple times to honor the many celebrities who have died in the last 24 hours. Dolly Parton's idol growing up was the town tramp, grew up so poor her dad had to pay the doctor in cornmeal when she was born, and she once said 'I’m comfortable in my own skin no matter how far I’ve stretched it." Now that's a woman! RIP to the best to ever do it. Later in the show we found out that Tim Curry died at 80 years old, which makes it one of the worst days ever for the gays. Who's next, Ru Paul!? Ally has a 'Hall Pass' this weekend to sleep with any celebrity on the A-C list, which prompted Klein to challenge listeners to present us with the biggest celebrity they know. Now Ally could be sleeping with Patton Oswalt, The Black Power Ranger, or Dewey's stunt double from Malcolm in the Middle. Her wife was on the line approving/nixing every pitch. We also went deeper into Jake's love life (gross), and discovered Jake has already asked the girl he's dating to be his girlfriend. We explicitly told him NOT to do this, but of course he didn't listen and the interaction was awkward to say the least (she didn't say yes.)

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Good morning, everybody, and welcome to Dollywood. Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet David Stank, did you see that?

This is the Klein Alley Show. Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show.

6.7 KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Oh, hell yeah. Welcome to your Wednesday. It's going to be another hot one today. It is going to be the hottest of the week, and they said potentially the entire year. Really?

It seems like yesterday would be tough to beat. That was brutal. The worst. And apparently, I just learned that Vanessa only puts her A.C. on in the evening time and then just tries to not be in her house for the rest of the day. Smart move. I mean, it's not a smart move. It's an El Cheapo move.

It's an El Cheapo, but also it's what the powers that be try to tell us, right? because they want to stop these rolling blackouts and the power outages. So they give us some nonsense numbers. They try to keep it at 78 or whatever the number they give us is like BS, not comfortable at all. I don't know what the number is they claim. There's always some expert.

I see it on the news every time we go through one of these where they go, only try to turn it on in the, what do they say, in the evening and only put it as low as 78. And I'm like, that is not comfortable at all. Who is the idiot that invented energy rush hour? I get those emails that are like, it's rush hour right now. I'm like, shut up.

Cool, crank it. Yeah, everyone wants their AC on right now. And it'll make the decision for me and just turn it off. It's one of those times where Jake gets to laugh at all of us because even though he does currently live in a shack, and that's not something anyone probably strives for, one of the nice perks of the shack he lives in is it has unlimited utilities. It's part of his rent.

And the only one time ever did I live in a place that had utilities included. And that was one of those times where I treated that air conditioning like I was in a hotel room. As low as possible, as long as possible, because I didn't have to think about it. And that's the one thing that I think, like, Vanessa, if you didn't have a bill that you were getting at the end of the month that you knew was going to be super high, you would have that thing on all day, right? A hundred percent. Right. That's the one thing that even the joy of air conditioning is one of the greatest inventions, if not the greatest invention ever. It is one of the things that sucks the fun out of it is knowing that if I'm actually at a place of comfort, I'm going to be so annoyed in a month or 60 days when this bill arrives.

Yeah, but people like Jake have been ruining it for the rest of us because I think years ago, many, many more people did utilities included. But then there are people that take advantage of the system and go, I don't have to pay. I'm just going to crank it up. And the bills got way higher than the landlords ever knew was possible. And now they don't do a lot of them don't do it anymore. Yeah, well, regardless, if you've got the A.C., use it. It's down to 32. 32 seems high.

It's a freezer, dude. Store popsicles in there. I mean, Omar, you're a landlord. You don't include utilities. No, heck no, man. No way. That would be so expensive. Suicide.

Yeah, but regardless, it is, today, Ali says, according to the experts, hotter than, yesterday it was hot as balls, today, hotter than balls. Well, I think that the L.A. area was supposed to be high 90s for most of the week, but today the high is 101. Oh, you guys are reaching the 100s there, huh? It was, by the way, it was north of 100. I don't know what they claimed yesterday. I'm telling you right now, it was north of 101.

Probably was, but it's going to be even hotter now. It's kind of strange. The kids keep coming back from school saying they're not allowed to, they have to eat lunch in their classroom. It's inclement weather. They're not allowed to even go outside because the air quality is all messed up and they've got to stay in and they, that's the whole thing. I'm like, inclement

weather. I'm like, yeah, it's warm. It's not inclement. We know it's there. Right. Well aware. So go out there and sweat it out, kids. We've got a decent show planned for you today, we think. And if you hear the keg, the chug chant, which will be happening throughout the day today. I know yesterday those chuggers were a little bit more quiet than they should have been.

Here's what it sounds like. And when you hear it throughout the next few hours, I recommend you call us immediately so we can get you access to our endless summer of kegger, which is coming up. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. When that happens during the show this morning, call us and claim your access to the Endless Summer Kegger. Also, if you'd like to join us for Petty Claims Court later today and we put you on the air, you will get access as well. So if you're currently dealing with something in your relationship

or with a co-worker or a roommate and you'd like to join us later this morning, you can call Vanessa now at 800-520-1067 or get in the DMs, Klein Alley Show, so we can get you involved in a Petty Claims Court later this morning right here on KROQ. K-Rock.

It's my and Allie's show. If you want Allie's money, I'll give you the cue to call in mere moments. The number is 800-520-1067 or 323-TIP-BOLI. If you want to battle Allie

for 100 bucks of her cash, you can go ahead and claim it. She is pregnant. She's tired. She's hot and she's sweaty. I am. Splotchy and all those things.

Thank you so much for noticing. I have noticed your splotchiness. Well, remember the time we wanted to do that contest? It's called a glow. We wanted to do the ugly sweater competition,

but not for Christmas sweaters, but for who is the ugliest person when they're sweaty. The ugliest sweater. And you sent us an example of what you look like when you're sweating, and we're like, we can't even do the contest. You have won. It's crazy because there are so many people who look hot after they're done with the gym or a run or something like that.

You see those people cross the marathon finish line, and they just look like they went for a walk in the park. Or they get, like, shiny and dewy and all that. Oh, my God, 10 minutes of me walking? I am amazed. I look like I have a condition. Yeah, you look like Gorbachev. I mean, my clothes don't even fit.

I'm, like, busting out of them. My skin is so swollen. So, the ugliest sweater competition is not officially happening, but you have a chance to take some of the money out of that sweaty person right there. Meanwhile, someone that probably sweats a lot in this heat is that man who claims that he listens to our show, who also claims he's 762 pounds. He left us a message a few days ago. My biggest competition? This is Ali's biggest competition, the competition of ugliest sweater. He doesn't like the fact that we don't believe him, that he is a real person, and he has left this message yesterday.

Horse Wiggins, Klein Ali Show. Rob the Blob calling in again. So once again, he calls himself Rob the Blob. He claims he is 762 pounds, would love to come to our endless summer kegger, but can't leave his house for obvious reasons. We said we will spend whatever we have to to get him at this set. You said you would spend. I will spend. If I have to put on a few credit cards.

That's a you thing, my friend. Don't include us in that. Can't believe you guys aren't going to chip in to get Rob the Blob there. You said we are sparing no expense. We know how expensive it's going to be, man. You don't think we could find a listener that has a flatbed truck or a listener with a helicopter? Dude, you're going to have to break down walls to get this guy out of his house. Well.

And then we have to rebuild the walls because he's going to need to get back in there. We have construction listeners that said they would help do that if it came down to it. I just want to say I think it's adorable that y'all can't decide whether an 800-pound show devotee is real or not. Considering your regular listeners are often cripples, chain-smoking ex-cons, amputees, hyper-perspirators, and or a blind Waldo. So this guy says, why are we having a hard time believing he's real when all the other people that we clearly know are real? I mean, one-armed Gary, he didn't even mention those guys. Bud Light Bros, he left out some of the weirdest, weirdest weirdos. Well, we've seen all those in person.

Right, this guy we've never seen because he can't leave his house. I also wanted to weigh in on Allie's Hall Pass sweepstakes. I am thrilled that Allie will be free from that cap dancing ball and chain, if only for a weekend or whatever. Allie, this isn't... This is why I believe this has got to be real. These are real breath. This guy is breathing to survive here. The fact that he continues calling makes me really believe it this time.

And if you hear this breath here, this is the breath of a man who's trying to get through a... And I get winded easy, but, like, at the end of a sentence that the guy needs to stop and do a full-on snorkel breath? All you can hear is cholesterol. Listen. If only for a weekend or whatever. Allie, this has inspired me to escape the confines of the blog shack for the first time. What? That's right.

The girls are pulling a wall down. The crane and flatbed are rented. And a whole, whole lot of man is headed down to L.A. to make sweet, savory love to Allison Johnson. This guy's going to have sex with you. Oh, regret it. Congratulations. Well, it felt great. He's a celebrity now because he's on our show, and he's robbed the blob.

I thought we were going A to C list. No, no, no. He's in. He's all the lists, this guy. He's all of them. The way a man loves a two-pound platter of nachos. Oh. Messy, greasy, and finished in like 30 seconds.

Allie, are you ready for a load of blob? I eat it. Did he say, I eat it? He did say, I eat it. That's amazing. So, robbed the blob. You know what? If you're there, I'll do it.

If you can get yourself there. Allie is a verbal contract now. She will have sex with you. Fine, we'll spare no expense. I'll spare. And I'll do you. And if it comes to happening, hey, Omar, even you're going to chip in on this. Where is this guy coming from?

I don't know. Rob the Blob, leave. I think he's coming from all directions at the same time. But Rob the Blob, let us know. I think we're standing on him right now. Oh, there he is. Rob the Blob, whatever you need to get out here to make sweet love to Allie. She's in.

We're in. And then just stick around. And we'll prop you up on a couch until our event, and it's going to be a good time. If you can get in, I'll have you. Allie, wow, that is an amazing offer. I hope you have to eat to your words, bitch. I really do. Rob the blob.

That's amazing. We'll take a quick break. We're back in a second. Allie's money could be yours. You want it? Call and claim it. 800-520-1067. And then later this morning, you could win this.

KROQ, we are a client of Allie's show. In a moment, Allie will attempt to answer some questions about the news. She's also working on the next batch of ADD news, which you'll get later this hour and later this morning here at KROQ. and as always we make her gamble on the actual answers her own money's up for grabs you can grab it she's paid out thousands of dollars to people just like you people that were afraid to call but finally did and some people were up to the challenge and actually took her money meanwhile there's a lot of people that are always giving us ideas as to how to make ali knows the news better

and there's another suggestion cancel it get rid of it all together this is uh the new to try to get better contestants on the air because it's always more fun when it's a real battle not when some brain-dead idiot who calls in. This is the suggestion. Fine, Allie. Hey, guys. Allie knows the news is probably one of my favorite parts. I definitely tune into it every single day.

I have an idea to make it better. Every time the contestant only gets three rights, Johnny and Vanessa have to buy Allie breakfast. Two rights, Allie and Klein. One right, Allie, Klein, and Jake. And zero rights, Allie, Klein, Jake, and Omar. This guy's suggesting a sliding scale, depending on how bad the person does on the phone, where if they do terrible, then it comes down to Johnny and Vanessa, who are the, you know, they're screening the calls. They're finding the person that they say is most capable of taking down Allie.

So if they get none right, then they have to buy all of us breakfast, including Jake's corndogs? That's right. Jake gets his breakfast corndogs he's been hoping for. That's the guy's theory, at least. That's not fair. They shouldn't have to pay for us. I agree, but also think about that. since we've changed the policy around here. We said if anyone beats Allie, I will make it extra sweet for them because really what's in it for them at the end of it?

The thing goes or doesn't go well, it doesn't really matter. They're just back there taking the calls. But I think they've had good incentive with you buying them breakfast. Right. But you've got to hold these guys accountable, especially now that Klein's buying smoothies for these guys when Allie loses, which since he started buying smoothies, Allie's only lost twice. Yeah, but she has lost two times, and the games have been a little closer.

so I think they're doing a better job of finding the right contestants. A winning streak of months. So, um, guys, do something. Punish him. Punish him hard. Okay, thank you, sir. That was a weird way to end that call. Let's say hi to April.

Punish him hard. April is on KROQ, and April claims that she's not a brain-dead idiot. Good morning, April. Good morning. Hopefully you're up for the challenge now. I have five questions all about things happening in the world. The news cycle obviously dominated by all things Dolly Parton, but there are other things happening in the world

other than just Dolly and Heat Wave stuff. Allie's going to leave the KROQ studios. As soon as she's out of here, your round will begin. Pressure's on, but go ahead. We are rooting for you. April is representing the people today. Allie will represent herself. It's time for Allie Knows the News.

Allie Knows the News. New research shows that 25% of all NFL players who died between 2016 and 2021 had what in common? um brain injury concussion brain injury concussion i'll write that down as we go to question number two this tv show is going to win the first ever legacy award which is a brand new category at the 2026 emmys what tv show is going to get the first ever legacy award um uh landman landman we got a question number three olive garden is bringing back their endless pasta bowls it's a big deal and they're adding two new things to the endless pasta bowl offerings

this year. Name one of those two new things being offered. Gnocchi and raviolis. Gnocchis and raviolis. Sounds great. We got a question number four. Sadly, we lost

a legend yesterday. Dolly Parton is not with us. What are they claiming now as the reason why we lost Dolly Parton? oh uh autoimmune and gosh i forget the other thing and we go to final question question number five that masked man that was terrorizing residents of philadelphia has finally been brought to justice

they captured this man what city did they officially find the creepy masked man in oh i just know it was in philadelphia all right you're gonna say philadelphia yeah okay philadelphia all right well that's april representing the people ali's gonna come in here represent herself it's a good thing i'm hungry this morning i don't know jake's feeling like corn dogs now but they could be coming your way here we go question number one allison yep new research shows that 25 of all nfl players that died between the years of 2016 and 2021 had what in common that good old cte yeah they all have the cte which is a much higher percentage of players that died

during those, and they died for different reasons, but the reality is that 25%, one in four, had the CTE. She said concussion and brain injury. I'm going to go ahead and give her the point on that. What? She didn't even say the name. She didn't say CTE, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't have a lot more points coming her way, so I will go ahead and say

it's a tie, one-one after one, as we go to question number two. What TV show is about to win the first ever Legacy Award at the 2026 Emmy Awards? A Legacy Award? Brand new category, First show to get it. Friends.

Oh, man. She said Landman. You guys aren't thinking Legacy enough. Legacy. It's going to go to... You got to think Legacy Awards. It's going to go to... What, the Brady Bunch or some crap?

Almost... You're getting closer. Family Matters? No. What? Family Matters? That was a good one. Are you talking about all in the family?

Or are you talking about Family Matters with Urkel? Yes, that's what I'm thinking. It's all in the family. You're not talking about Family Matters. That'd be amazing. All of a sudden, Stephon or Kel comes out. That was like the first sitcom, right? All in the Family?

I think so. No, you're missing it. I Love Lucy. Oh, nice. I Love Lucy is going to get it. No one gets the point. All right, we go to question number three. Who's even alive to accept that?

I don't think anyone. I don't think anyone can go out and accept it, but those are going to put it up there. They're just going to be like, I Love Lucy. Anyway, moving on. We go to the next question. Olive Garden is bringing back their endless pasta bowls at the end of this month, which is good news for people that want to carb load. And they got two new additions this year.

Name one of those two new additions. Oh, man. Let's see. Let's go to lasagna. Lasagna. And soup. Oh, my God. Benless.

Idiot. April suggested gnocchi and also raviolis. Oh, I love gnocchi. You guys are thinking, you're not thinking broad enough for the Olive Garden. First of all, they're adding shrimp because it's a treat. They're doing a crispy shrimp. I thought they already included shrimp. Now they're doing a crispy shrimp frita option, so you can get yourself some fried shrimp, make it a little healthier.

This is what still entered your feed over the Dolly Parton stuff. This is, to me, this was the biggest story of the day in my world. And spicy Alfredo. They've decided to go ahead and make the Alfredo sauce spicy, because everyone likes things hot. Sadly, no one gets the point on that, and we move on. But you learned a thing or two, didn't you? Question number four. Point Olive Garden.

Dolly Parton sadly passed away. A lot of people upset about this. She is a legend. There's no denying it. What did they say was the actual cause of death? Oh, I know she had some stuff with her kidneys, but they're saying cancer, I believe. Yeah, that's the one word you didn't say, April, that I needed, that they're saying that she had cancer. She had been really quiet about it and I guess was admitted to the hospital four days before, but that was cancer.

Short battle. Short battle. Cancer schmancer. Well said. Oh, no. Well said, sir. And finally, Allie goes up, too, with this last question. The masked man that was creeping out residents of Philadelphia.

Oh, Chucky Mask Guy. Chucky Mask Guy was finally found in what city? God, I know he was on the run. I'm just going to say Philadelphia because that's where he was last seen. That's what she said as well. Well, where do you go if you just want to blend in with a bunch of other weird people? Florida? No.

Austin? LA? Las Vegas. Ah. Found in Las Vegas. Sadly, you didn't put in too much of an effort, April, and we give you no money. and what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock?

Go ahead. My name is April and Ali knows the news. I know, no one likes to say it. She sounds so sad about it. No one likes to hear it either. I don't blame you. He's doing my job. But in this particular case,

Ali does know the news. Guys, exciting update in the world of Jake's dating life. He did something that we all told him not to do. And we will figure out in a moment if it backfired or if he was actually right and we're all wrong.

And we'll get to that next on K-Rock. 714 on the text line says, I decided to take the day off today and listen to your show for my birthday, so... Happy birthday, wheelchair. That's for you, 714. Thanks for listening to the show. It's getting funnier.

Jake, as you know, was single for a while. Then he was in a relationship. Then he moved in with his girlfriend. He finally gave up his bachelor pad. We threw him a bachelor paddy, which was a goodbye bachelor pad. Did none of us win? No, none of us won.

But we did have the idea for the bachelor. We threw it. We just didn't attend. Well, we gave him the concept of the bachelor paddy. I think that was my idea, too. Well, regardless. Didn't the place only fit, like, two people? No, it can't have, like, five.

That place could hold five people. But anyway, he gave it up. He moved in with his girlfriend. It's a big moment in life, a big step to take. And then immediately from moving in with that girl, things went south pretty quickly. In fact, I believe Jake said his anniversary of breaking up with her and being thrown out of her place is coming up. So we're going to see if he wants to. I didn't know people celebrated breakup-aversaries.

I think that we should make that a big deal, and I think that when that happens, which I think he said is early September, he should call her to wish her a happy breakup-iversary, because I don't think he ever took the real anniversary seriously, so the idea that he would remember the exact day, and anyway, since then, it's been a lot of single stuff, a lot of dry spells, finally, after all of this, he gave control of his dating apps to Allie and Vanessa, they changed his pictures, they changed his hobbies, they pretty much changed everything about Jake, And lo and behold, he started getting swipes. And he went through a period where he was getting no swipes and getting warned by the apps, you're out of swipes, please stop using. The apps would lock up on him for 24-hour periods. I know. We changed everything. Even his outfit choices when he went on dates, he wasn't making any improvement there.

We told him to wear some pants and some closed-toed shoes. And that is the date that went the best, and that's the girl he's still seeing. And now here we are. It's been a few weeks. early relationship, sure, but they're at a point now where Jake decided to try to take a pivotal step, and I'm not talking about the sex step, because you guys have had

sex a few times, right? Numerous times. Right. I mean, numerous times last night. Right, and you love the, and that's all, that part of it's good, the conversation's good. Yeah. She's the one who's a fan of Tool, supposedly. That's her favorite band. Which is like, to find a woman who's a fan of Tool, there's like one in a billion. I mean, really, it's

everybody else's girlfriend that just goes to Tool because the guy wants to go. It's not because the girl really likes Tool. So just to find a girl that really likes Tool is definitely a one in a million. And would you say, Jake, that this is, you have some very strong

feelings? For her? Yeah. Yeah, I do. And Jake had brought up this point that he was going to say some stupid thing about either I love you or something. He was going to do something like, let's follow each other on Instagram, which was a weird thing. Yeah, I think he did that already. Yeah, we did that already.

And we tried to talk him out of the next thing. And Johnny specifically, who is the Riz master, said to Jake, you got to slow your roll, man. You're going to freak this woman out or you're going to do that thing where you seem too thirsty and desperate and she's going to run away. And Jake decided after listening to our advice for a while and getting him to this great place, he has now gone away from our advice. Didn't Johnny say keep it status quo? Just don't change anything. Things are going well. Why do you have to complicate it?

And, Jake, what did you do last night? Well, I mean, I don't listen to Johnny, but last night... Oh, yeah, don't listen to me, man. I only have a good track record so far. Yeah, and Johnny has been giving you good advice. This is one of those few things where we're actually not trying to sabotage each other like we usually do. We're all looking out for you. I care for you, man.

Thank you. That seemed genuine. What'd you do last night, Jake? Well, after, you know, numerous times finishing, first I asked her if she had ever seen Army of Darkness, which probably wasn't the best intro to my question. Because, you know, there's that line there like, hey, it's just pillow talk, baby. Loser. I'm shaking my head so much already. Vanessa, don't jump in in the middle of his story.

I think she would have jumped in. We all know loser. Literally thinking it. I know. I know. And Omar played it But she was thinking I got it

So you're laying in bed You're having that Post sex conversation Yeah And you We're in the movie Army of Darkness She says sure

And I'm like You know that line This is something called Pillow talk baby And she's like Okay And I go Well this is not that

And she's like What are you talking about Oh no And I said I've been thinking about it I was wondering If you would like To be exclusive

Come on dog And she said The back room seems to support your choice. The chicken coop is laughing at you back there. Dude. So what did she say? Hold on. I want to listen to what's happening in the back room.

Hold on. They're having a good time. I like getting laughs finally. Right. So you said, do you want to be exclusive? That's how you said it? That's how you said it, Jake? Yes.

You want to be exclusive? Would you like to be exclusive? Yes. You think she's banging someone else on the side? No, I don't. Because first she said, you want to have this conversation right now? I don't think we should have this conversation right now. And then she said, I can tell you I'm not seeing anybody else.

And then that was about it. Well, that's it for that one. Well, it's done now. I mean, she still stayed the night. It's raps, bro. It's raps. Yeah, I agree with Johnny. I'm sorry, but everything was going great, and she wasn't seeing anybody else.

So why did you have to push it? I mean, we stayed the night at each other's house numerous times now. Yeah, but how long has it been? Three weeks? It's getting there, yeah. Getting to three weeks. Yeah, Jake, remember that. But this is exclusive.

I don't want. Remember that whole clickbait thing we did about how you're never supposed to say, like, yeah, I'm available Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays. Sure, anytime. Two, five, nine. Doesn't matter. I'm available. And you've got to make yourself seem a little bit more hard to get, I guess.

A little bit opposite of you. This is like, and you did that. And you actually did that and it worked for you one night. She had to cancel on you and you said, let me see if I can try to make the other thing work. As opposed to, absolutely, I'll be there. This is kind of, you went right back to it. You became, alright, you slept over for the third time, let's be exclusive. Became readily available and women don't like that.

They want like a chase sometimes. Sometimes you gotta like, give her some sort of fun. You kind of just gave her the whole video game with the cheat codes. That's a great point and also, you know, even if she does like you, there needs to be a little bit of wondering. Where is this leading? Does he like me the same way I like him? Does he want to be exclusive?

Is he seeing anybody else? She needs a little bit of time to wonder that. Yeah, she should think, like, on the night you guys aren't together, that maybe you're out plowing someone else. Yes. And remember when you said, I think I'll make it work? You know, you did that whole trick that we told you, and it worked. She ended up coming out and seeing you.

She tried to cancel on you. Originally, that was her canceling. And then Jake said, well, I don't know. She uncanceled. I don't know if I could do that maybe later. And she's like, okay, I'll be there. Right. See what you did?

That's it working, man. You're going back on everything we've talked. Vanessa's freaking out over there. I wanted to say, also, you might have scared her, and then she's going to self-sabotage. She's going to switch her script, possibly. Whatever that means. You're done, dude.

That's girl language for something. You're done, son. But what do I do to fix it? Well, it was also terrible timing. I don't think girls appreciate being asked about stuff right after sex. All you do, too, now? Just ghost her for, like, about a week or two. No, ghost her, because then she's going to start wondering,

and be like, what happened? I thought he was so down for me. Did I do something to offend him or what happened? What did I do? She's going to start internalizing. Then she'll start coming and knocking on your door again and hitting you up. Yeah, I don't know about full ghost, but I do think you should pump the brakes slightly. I want to see her tomorrow night.

Oh, my God. What are you doing? She's not learning. Vanessa. What is this? I'm not going to let her do anything with me. She's so mad. All right.

Well, good luck, Jake. 213 said this is too much pressure for a girl. It's a lot of pressure. What's pressure? It's a lot. Are you going to bring her to the kegger, Jake? Maybe, I'm not sure. Nope, you don't bring her to the kegger.

The answer is no. Yeah, she's going to ask about it. You're going to say, sorry, can't. Three, two, three. Preoccupied. Said that you're supposed to wait at least three months before asking somebody to be expensive. I mean, that seems soon. Or not even at three weeks.

I mean, at this rate, Jake's going to be proposing to her in a week. I proposed to her the first night. What? As soon as I knew she liked Tool. Oh, man. I mean, it was a joke. You were like, marry me. Yeah, what do they give each other?

Those stupid coins? Those stupid coins? Those tool coins? They all exchange their vows and their dumb coins. Yeah, what do you get? What do you have, that tool coin you give people? Oh, I don't give them. I collect them, though.

I have three of them. Right. There's a mine, damn it. I don't care who she likes. All right, all right. Isn't that crazy? All right, well, listen. I don't know what you've learned from any of this conversation.

I'm exclusive with my tool coins. But just don't do any of this stuff, okay? She doesn't listen to the show, right? I don't think so. Good. 323 wants to know, do you think that she, like, if she were to just be honest with herself, do you think she really, really likes you? Yeah, I think so.

There's numerous signs, numerous messages, and yeah, I think so. Would you let us talk to her? Yeah, I'd let you talk to her. Like on the air? Sure. I don't know if she'll talk to you, but I will let you. Well, she talks to you. She'll talk to us.

Yeah. You don't know that. It'd be a relief. All right. Give her a tool coin and she'll marry us. Maybe we'll give her a call after this break. Is she up now? What does she do?

I don't know, man. We wore each other out all night, so she might still be asleep. Oh, my God. I'm sure she loves being talked about like that. Is it true? She's walking on her own somewhere. Well, we'll call the local urgent cares after this and try to track her down. All right.

Well, quick break. News next. Oh, my God. You're a real catch, Jake. I don't know if anyone's told you that. 3-2-3 wants to know if your best man is going to be a cricket. That is Dominic Fyke. It's called Baby Doll on K-Rock.

We will get into your news now that a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. We got access to the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. And we will get you into some Weezer. That is all coming up. But first, your news. Allie, are you ready for a load of blob? Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

Maybe a frontrunner for my new favorite sound clip of 2026. And I'm ready. Are you ready for a load of blob? I've been eating loads of blob ever since I got pregnant. Yeah, you have. I think the big question this morning for a lot of people is why didn't we get more time with Dolly Parton? And I would put this on par with the death of Betty White, a person who is so universally loved by many. It has been fascinating to see all the old pictures and videos of her and realizing what she actually looked like.

It's interesting to see her normal features before all the plastic surgery. And you're like, huh, those were her teeth, huh? She had plastic surgery, Dolly? so what happened is the question she had some health problems she had some problems with her kidneys there were some shows that she was going to do that she had to cancel but then she was like i'm right as rain everybody and then it turns out they confirmed that she had a brief battle with cancer she was put in the hospital on august 21st where she stayed and then eventually passed and then this was the announcement that was made on her official instagram by one of her family

members and her security guard hey everyone my name is brian siever son of cassie parton and i'm representing the parton and owens family today announcing the passing of my aunt dolly rebecca parton dean sister sis aunt granny to one generation and gg to the next this video announcement is something dolly asked of me years ago before i fully absorbed it as a future reality as her head of security for more than two decades a role my father larry held before me i have imagine the heaviness of this moment but haven't truly felt it until now rest in peace aunt dolly aunt granny gg may god bless dolly parton and may god bless you all she will always love you isn't that so sad i mean this was it was much longer and it was kind of weird it was like who

hell's this dude and obviously she kept her family employed she really gave back to her family and obviously to her community as well because she opened up dollywood and pigeon forge tennessee She kept putting money back into her hometown. So, you know, the song Jolene is already back to number one on the charts. There's also an unreleased song that was meant to be released on her 100th birthday. So I imagine the right thing to do would be to wait until she turns theoretically 100. Yeah. Drop it in 20 years.

Drop it now for the fans. No, it's for her 100. Let me ask you a question. It's going to sound stupid, but I do drive by these billboards that have her face on them still. and they always have some message of like, hey, be nice to each other. What is the brand there? Is that a yogurt thing or what is she promoting?

What? You're asking me about a billboard that I haven't seen? There's billboards. No, Dolly Party. These billboards I'm seeing, what is that about? I don't know. It's Dolly's face. Be kind to one another.

Yeah, who's paying for that? Is that just her saying I want to spread the message of kindness or is there a brand behind this? It's a brand because they have William Shatner and other people on it too. Is that like AARP or something? Is it like celebrating old people? I see it all the time.

Maybe it's just a campaign to be nice to people. Yeah. He took a video of it yesterday. He put it on his Instagram. Who's paying for that? Be nice to people? Where's the brand? I don't know.

Can't you just accept that maybe there's just something nice in the world? I just thought that maybe Dolly was doing it. What is it? Kind bars? What? What am I supposed to buy? What are you selling me, Dolly? Pass it on.com.

Pass it on. It's about STDs. Oh, all right. Pass them on, baby. I'm in. I was just curious. I thought maybe she was paying out of her own pocket just to put up billboards just to be nice. I mean, I don't know if she was the one leading that cause, but she did put a bunch of money towards charity.

So it would be like her to do that and do it not to just promote a new brand. Of which she had many. Passiton.com, it redirects you to Quiznos. See, I knew someone was behind this. I was just trying to figure out who it was. Be kind. Order Quiznos. I knew there was money here.

There's an update to the air taxis that they've been trying to have ready by the time the Olympics roll around. Apparently, there is a kind of a helipad that is being constructed here in L.A., and they have some updates on what the taxis are going to look like. They have 12 propellers on what looks like an alien drone, and confusion takes flight. Oh, it looks like an airplane. I mean, a helicopter. So what would you call it, a planicopter? It's a taxi. Oh, man, I hope that person's not flying it.

Yes, an air taxi. For years now, the word taxi has been teetering on the verge of extinction. But slapped a word air in front of it, and suddenly... Yeah, Jetsons. The Jetsons are one step closer to becoming science nonfiction. Have you seen the new prototypes? They look pretty badass. I did see it.

They've been doing some, like, take... Like, not flights, really, but they kind of lift it off the ground and then put it back down again. They've been doing some of those. It looks... I mean, they've got a couple more years to figure it out. Would you feel the chances that this is actually going to come to fruition? Zero percent. I think it will if they're building a little helipad.

You want to bet money right now, Allie? We can solve this bet easy peasy. When's the Olympics here? Two years? You think these are going to be operational by the Olympics? Yeah. You do. I'm going to say first month that they're doing trials, there's going to be a huge accident.

Yep. And they're going to be like, okay, well, we were not ready for that. Let's go ahead and bring this back to the old drawing board. This is an issue for Jetpack Guy. We need him more than ever. Oh, totally. Yeah, but Jetpack Guy's got to get people rides all around L.A. There's only one person.

He can't do anything. This thing seats up to four people. Maybe he can carry people on his heels. Would you be comfortable, and I mean, if they approve this and it starts going into like regular people can ride it, would you ride a drone over L.A.? Yeah, hell yeah. I'm not afraid of being in the air.

Right. Okay. I'm just saying you don't want to be one of the first 100 people. You don't care about it being tested for a little bit to see if it's... It will be tested. Okay. It is being tested. All right, fair enough.

I don't believe it'll be operational by the Olympics. I want to be in a planicopter. Let's go. Let's make this interesting. $50,000. What? I don't know. $50,000.

We have two years to find the money if we lose. I can build my own helicopter at that point. That's exciting. That's an exciting bet right there. There is a new scam to be aware of. Fake party invitations. If you want to feel like you're popular and you're getting invited to things by people that maybe you don't otherwise talk to too much. You mean a fake party like Klein's little party?

That unfortunately was real. That was a real party. Oh, it was? A rager. That's what I heard. This cool invite that he put on the group chat. A lot of people still refer to it as the rager. So there are a lot of I've been seeing these.

I don't know if you have. I've gotten a couple of invitations that are like from Evite or from, you know, all those different invitation sites. And they look legitimate. And it's like Jessica Dardane wants to invite you to her birthday party. And I'm like, who the hell? Like, and I'm even looking up how I know this person because I worked with them years ago. And then I'm like, wow, that's lame that she has no friends and she's inviting me to her birthday party. But we all want to feel cool.

So then we click on the invite and then it downloads malware onto your computer. So they say to always check with the person on the side to say, did you invite me to something? Which also seems like a trap to be like, hey, did you invite me to something? And then everyone has to respond, no, I'm sorry. Sorry, Allie. We didn't invite you to anything. You didn't make the cut. Yeah.

But these, a lot of them are fake. So if you're getting any kind of, and if you have kids and you're getting birthday party invitations all the time and you're like, you don't even know the name of the parents, they could look like scam emails right away. I don't know the name of the parents. I don't know the names of the kids, and I even said to my kids, do you know who Brunson is or something? And they're like, no, I don't think so. I'm like, all right, delete. And then they're like, hey, I missed my friend's birthday party.

I was going to delete poor Beverly's birthday party invitation, and apparently she's a real person, and she turned five. Missed the whole thing. You didn't miss much, I bet. We get into a brand-new hour of the show right now, and it's time for you to join us at the Endless Summer Kegger if you're the 20th caller, 800-520-1067. No lame-os, let's go.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. You know what that means. 20th caller right now, 800-520-1067. Chug, chug, chug. We got an endless summer kegger, also known as a clam slam. K-Rock's Klein Alley Show's inaugural clam slam. Slightly stupid.

You, us, taking the show to Orange County. Welcome to the California Workplace Violence Prevention Training Course. What is that? What the hell is that about? Sorry, there's a bunch of training due today. There is? Yeah, a ton of it. Training here for this job?

Yes, including heat illness prevention training because of the heat advisories. Did you know that we're supposed to be drinking a full glass of water every 10 minutes? How can we? Omar's taking all the water for the building. Every 10 minutes? Every 10 minutes. Hold on. That seems a little extreme.

They sent out special training for us because of the heat that's happening? We're going to be drinking 32 ounces of water per hour, and it will be provided in our workplace because hydration is key to preventing a heat illness. So this is them trying to cover their ass so we don't have to pass out and sue them for heat stroke or something? Yes. Is that why they want to say they covered their bases here with this training? They also ensured us that our managers are all trained in encouraging more breaks throughout our workday and that we need to be taking a break every hour for at least 10 minutes so that we can be alleviated from the heat. Let's call our boss right now and see how trained he is. We are due an increased break frequency for temperatures above 90 degrees.

Mandatory breaks will be scheduled depending on heat levels. Do you think he's aware of this at all? I don't think he's aware of any of this whatsoever. He may not even be aware that we're doing a live show today. Our workplace culture emphasizes employee empowerment for unscheduled rest due to heat stress. Our boss, by the way, told us last time we called him To never call him again live on the air Do you think he's taking the day because of the heat?

Probably Probably the week I'm surprised you opened up that email I see those and I just hit delete Yeah, Ali's such a nerd They're trained to proactively monitor us And remind us about heat safety With rest, water, and shade

This guy must be outside filling cups of water with the hose That's why he can't take the call right now I knew he was going to dodge us Sorry, I can't take the call right now. Are you? Leave your name, number, and the time of day you're calling, and I will call you right back. No, you won't. And the time of day?

He's never... Why do we need to tell him the time of day? As a tone, please record your message. When you finish recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. Who wants to know how late we are? It's 8.07 a.m. Yes, we're running behind. We're live on the air now.

We hit the legal. Apparently, you're supposed to be taking our hydration a little bit more seriously. We've never had conversations about our hydration, and a whole email came out to the company saying that we're supposed to take a mandatory break 10 minutes every hour when it's over 90 degrees out so i don't know what's going on with that i don't know what you want to do about that but it's something that's never come up in any of the meetings we've had so apparently our managers are supposed to emphasize employee empowerment for unscheduled rest so i don't know what you want to how you want to handle this but this is now uh coming up from uh your higher ups even

this is real deal so we're going to probably need some more longer songs scheduled into the show so We can go outside and drink water. And drinking a cup of water, eight ounces every ten minutes, just like you said. All right. Thank you. That's a good boss right there. Hey, Brad from Orange. You're on KROG.

Good morning, Brad. What's up? Hey, guys. How you guys doing? Doing fine. What can we do for you? I'm trying to get into the endless summer kegger. You're in.

You're the 20th caller. We will see you on September 3rd. Congratulations. Can't wait to party with you, all right? All right, guys. Thank you so much. KROG, we are a Klein Alley show. Well, that's an interesting suggestion from the text line that we should do a show where we drink one glass of water every ten minutes for the entire show.

And then someone wins a wee. So I don't think. Yeah, that's in one of the training videos I have to watch. That competition. I don't think we're allowed to drink that much water. I think they, ever since they had to pay on that lawsuit, I think we can't drink water anymore like that. But apparently they've all forgotten. We're Klein Alley Show.

This is Kay Rock. This is a quick bait in a moment. Quickly on the text line. Someone wants to know, 562. Will I have any more chances to win entry into the endless summer kegger, or should I just give up? No, don't give up. You should probably give up. No.

Chances every hour, including another chance this hour. And if we put you into our petty claims court, if you've got something you're dealing with in your relationship or in your living situation or workplace situation, and you join us later today, we will instantly give you access to the endless summer kegger. If we put your story on the air, and the only way to get involved is to let Vanessa know at 800-520-1067. Right now, though, we solve the Internet's biggest riddles and mysteries. It's time for Clickbait. Here we go. all right there is now a brand new and surprising dirtiest place in your office so get ready for this it's always changing once again they like to say how dirty this is so much dirtier than

the toilet seat that's always the thing they compare things to the toilet seat and i don't know what it's like in the ladies room but in the guys room here the toilet seats are absolutely disgusting the women's room they are pristine and beautiful well i don't know who's got what's going on here, but we need to have some sort of an undercover investigation as to what is going on there. They put so much carpeting in the bathroom to accommodate whoever... All the pee splashback? They put

floor mats under each urinal, which is disgusting. Like car floor mats, basically, under the urinals. And then that was not enough, so now they have put a giant piece of carpeting, like there's a red carpet premiere happening by the door when you first walk in. And their plan for this is just keep putting more carpets down,

which is a terrible plan. It is the grossest room... I mean, I get it. Well, carpet makes everything smell more. So much worse. I don't know why a hardwood floor wouldn't be the best thing. Like, why did they put them in there in the first place? You just need bleach, bleach, bleach. Just constantly more bleach.

Get a Zambonia bleach in there every 20 minutes or something. But whatever they're doing, they just decided, let's just solve the problem by adding more carpet in. Well, it's a radio station, so the men's bathroom is like Grand Central Station, and the girls' bathroom has three people circulating in it. Regardless, it's a terrible situation. But they claim that this new grossest place in your workplace, which is universally the grossest place in all workplaces. Grosser than urinal carpet? It is much grosser than anything you would even find in the bathroom.

So what is it? You know, I'm just going to go with the standard coffee maker because that's the thing that everyone's accessing the most. We have a direct view of the break room here in the K-Rock kitchen. And I see people go in there multiple times a day. No one's washing their hands. I imagine I've never seen it cleaned in my life. So I would imagine that's the dirtiest thing. Allie says the coffee maker is probably the grossest slash dirtiest thing where you work.

323 is guessing Allie's chair. Oh, how are you doing today, girl? That's a good, that's a great guess. Probably the right answer. Omar, what do you think it is? Yeah. It's that disgusting water dispenser that's just outside the studio where everybody refills their water bottle. Yeah, have to drink one glass.

Everybody getting their grody. Every 10 minutes. Got to drink a glass every 10 minutes. It's a lot of germs. Everybody getting their grody germs all over it. Yep. All right, Omar says the water thing. I do see a lot of people there.

And also, it feels like a lot of those people that have the reusable bottles, they're always touching the nozzle with their little spout thing that they put their mouth on all day. Yeah, sometimes. Well, sometimes it's not tall enough because the Stanleys are just getting bigger and bigger. Jay, gross knows gross. What do you say? Well, for a time in the fridge, there was something growing in some kind of carton or whatever, and no one did anything about it.

I think it's gone now, but I want to guess the fridge. Because you ate it? I was hungry one day. I had a moment of weakness. And it was good. I've stopped getting those emails about the fridge cleanings. I assume the person that did the fridge cleanings was let go or something. I think they were, yeah.

I think they were part of the container debacle. Oh, is that what happened? They were the one that was so mad about the dishes in the sink. Apparently the dirtiest place where you work right now, it's not Ali's seat. It's not the urinal carpets. It's not even the things that Jake, Omar, or Ali guessed. But Jake was the closest because they are saying that the handle of the company refrigerator is the grossest and the thing that gets cleaned the least, if at all.

And that is gross for multiple reasons, primarily because we're all touching with our gross hands. But also when you get all that food buildup stuff, some of those spores, whatever else. Because people are handling food and then touching it? They handle it. Like the coffee is a little more sanitary because it's just a beverage? I hate these clickbaits because these ones, just when you think it's going to be someplace you can avoid, it's always the handle of something. It's always just proof that we as humans are gross because we touch things, and when we touch things, they get grosser. That's why you don't really go into the break room.

You don't like being in there. I try to avoid that place. That is just a giant, it's like a Comic-Con of gross in there. It's like every, all the- Jay's right there reorganizing. Right, but even that- Hey, Jay. We could take a quick break.

He's filming things around. It's clean. There's a lot of skin contact in that room. It's really gross. And in our break room specifically, there's a lot of open food that's just out for hours. Hours. Creating foodborne illnesses, I'm sure. When we get back from this quick break, what do we have in store for you?

Good question. We need to meet a celebrity. And we assume that someone in Los Angeles listening to this show knows someone who knows someone that can connect us to a celebrity at any level. I don't care if we start at the Z list. What's the biggest one we can find? What's the biggest one we can find with your connections? because Allie has a hall pass that she's allowed to use this week only. It involves her having legitimate intercourse with a celebrity.

Anyone from the A-list down to the C-list, I have gotten permission to bone. But I need somebody in that category. If you help connect us to a celebrity, even if they don't... Like a Pauly Shore? Like an Andy Dick? She would take any of them. I don't want Andy Dick. But here's the thing. That's definitely on the B-C...

That's a C-list, at least. Do you think Andy Dick is a C-list celebrity? Sure. Used to probably be higher. Everyone knows the name. He's definitely been higher. Definitely higher. So if you have a connection, even if you're the one who's like, I know a person who knows a person who knows a person.

Let's start there. Any connection you have to anyone famous. I prefer a lady. Even if you ran into a celebrity at a grocery store recently. That would help us as well. At least that's more of a connection than we already have. Because we're trying to go ahead and set Allie up for her hall pass, celebrity hall pass. But we need your help.

And if you can make it happen for us, we will get you into the endless summer kegger. And that's after this at 800-520-100. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley Show. Oh, there's another celebrity Alley can't have sex with. That's bad news. Another celebrity. Tim Curry, dead. Another celebrity death.

They come in threes, don't they? Ain't that always how it is? So who was the, so what, we had Hayden Panettiere? Oh, yeah, Hayden, Dolly, Tim Curry. And now Tim Curry. That's such a bummer. Never good to be the least famous of the three, but. The best from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Congo? Did you ever see the movie Congo? Yeah, I know who you're talking about. Is he the clown from It? You know what? Yes. Yes. Damn, they take all the good white people, man.

They're taking all the wrong whites. Who would be the right whites, out of curiosity, Johnny? Which whites? We don't want Hayden Panettiere to die. We don't want Dolly Parton to die. Or who do you want to die? There's plenty of bad white people out there. Name them, Johnny.

All the terrible ones, you know. There's a lot of people on the phone right now that claim they have access to living celebrities. And apparently, this is an interesting theory, ever since Ali started talking about having a one-night stand with a celebrity, they keep dying. Maybe there's a coincidence. Someone is convinced that Ali somehow mushed Dolly Parton and made some comment even yesterday on the show when she was still alive. No, I haven't talked about Dolly Parton on the show ever. I don't think that's probably true. I'm sure at some point you mentioned her because when she came out in that Dallas Cowboys cheerleader uniform during, you know, whatever, the halftime of one of the Netflix games.

It was a Thanksgiving game or something. Thanksgiving game, yeah. I'm sure you made some comment like, she'll be around forever or something. I didn't say anything like that. But there are a lot of people that would like to connect you with a celebrity so that you can have your one-night-stand hall pass, which has to happen. Hurry up, connect me. They're dropping like flies. Thursday or Friday.

These celebrities would rather die than have the outside chance of sleeping with Allie. I mean, that's really bad. Hey, I just want to warn you before I start putting these calls on, and there's some good ones here. I want to warn you, Allie, that you said you could sleep with anyone on the A, B, C, or D list because you're looking at one of them. Hi, this message is for clients. I just want to say, like, I think you might be, like, D list, like, marginally famous now. because, like, first Jamie wore your jacket on SNL and it got to literally rub elbows with Ryan Gosling.

That puts me on the D-list. The jacket that I gave the guy from the Gorillaz made it to Saturday Night Live and then he rubbed elbows with Ryan Gosling. Would your wife support you having sex with me? I don't think she would be... I think she would say if you wanted to. I think she would make that face.

Would you want... She'd be like, why would you want that? Would you want to? And then now I see on your, like, repost, like, Michael Costa from Daily Show, I think, actually commented on your post. That's right. So I feel like, yeah, you maybe, are you, like, famous now? You're, like, maybe micro-celebrity? Congrats, bro.

Sweet dreams. Bye-bye. So, Allie, you could sleep with me, technically. Still probably the, not even in the top ten Kevin Clines that come up when you Google. Oh, no. No, I'm like the fifth most famous Kevin Kline. Hey, Katie, before we get to these suggestions on the phone, I just want to confirm, this is Allie's wife. You are standing by the fact that you are still giving your wife

a legitimate hall pass if it is with a celebrity, and it happens this weekend. This doesn't sound very realistic whatsoever. Which part? The sleeping with me part? I mean, like, yeah, who are you going to find to do this? We have people on the phone now. Every line is full with someone that's got a connection to someone.

I'm just letting you know. I know you don't have a lot of confidence, but a lot of people say that to their significant other. Sure, you want to go have sex with Mario Lopez? Have at it, because they don't think they could. Right. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of my attitude about it. So you think it's just so ridiculous that you can just say yes, because it'll never happen? Yeah, I think so.

Clearly, you don't believe in the power of radio. None of us do. Wait, Katie, if Ali does lock down his celebrity and you said they have to be on the A, B, C, or D list, is that right? I mean, what is a D list celebrity? Hello, hi. Angeline. Oh, no. Angeline is bigger than D list.

I think she looks like 10 minutes from us. Yeah. Don't knock on her door. I think her car's parked outside right now. I would say A, B, C, not D. Yeah, we talked about A, B, C. Hey, those people that she saw on the airplane, the Alice and Brie.

Oh, yeah, Alice and Brie. She could have had sex with them. That would have been acceptable for you? She's hot. And out of curiosity... Katie followed her into the bathroom. Are you okay if she sleeps with a man? I mean, whatever.

Like, I don't know. This is so hypothetical and so unrealistic. Okay, it's not that unrealistic. There are people out there that want to have sex with me. I'm going to leave you on the phone while you... Let me say hi to J.R. J.R., what celebrity do you have connection to? Power Ranger.

The Black Ranger. Power Ranger's terrible. Roger the Left. Okay, hold on. How about that, babe? The Black Power Ranger. Allie could have the Black Power Ranger. Oh, yeah.

That's nice. J.R., you know... She's humoring us. You know the... Oh, I'm nervous. This is the Black Power Ranger from the original TV show, or you said the most recent movie? No, from the TV show. Original.

Power Rangers Turbo. Right. And you have his, how do you know Roger? I have a direct phone number. Why? Are you friends, or you just have? So I took my Lyft driver, and I picked him up, and we connected, and he gave me his numbers. We came out and.

And you recognize him in the back of your Lyft as, wait a minute, are you the Black Power Ranger? I did, because he was going to a Power Ranger con. Oh. Was he wearing his costume? All right, hold on. Hold on. He had to take a lift. Hold on.

Hold on. Don't hang up. I love that he would then text the guy and be like, hey, I have a radio person who wants to have sex with you. I like where we're starting. This is just where we're starting. We're already at a Black Power Ranger. It's so ridiculous. Can you imagine someone getting a call being like, hey, for this radio show, this person wants to have sex with you.

This is low-key prostitution. First of all, it's not prostitution, and it's not for the radio show. It's not for the radio show at all. It's for fun or summer. Ali is doing this on a quest for all of us to have more fun. Okay. Yeah. You sound like you're not interested.

714 said you have several celebrity contacts in your phone calling. and call up Nikki Glaser or Whitney Cummings. I mean, I could. I don't think they would sleep with you. Excuse me. I think I could sleep with one of them. Maybe. Hold on.

Hey, Rick, who do you know? I'm really drunk. Rick, hi. Who's your celebrity connection? I ran into A-lister Patton Oswalt. Where'd you run into him? Shopping off Magnolia in Burbank. It's a wrap.

She was at a vinyl record store. And do you have any contact to Patton Oswalt, or you just ran into him? I just ran into him. There we go. All right. Add him to the list. That would be tough. Biggest threat yet.

Also, Ali's got a theory about him, so. I don't want to say it. I think, like, I mean, I honestly, I don't know why I'm about to say this, but, like, if this is something that could happen, I feel like you need to, like, go out on a date with this person. A date? It's a one-night stand. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, this is just me. Like, this is what I would do, I guess. You know, like, I'm all about. I know. Katie wants it to be all intimate and mean something. We need to connect and vibe. It's funny that you would say that.

I would think you'd want this to be as emotionless as possible. Like, strictly a, like, just, you know, a couple hours of pleasure, and then that's it. Not that they sat down and had a real conversation about cats or something. I mean, I'd expect that this person would, like, then be someone we know, right? Like, this is, yeah, I don't know. I'm not thinking about it as just, like, a one and done. Hold on. We have a lady celebrity who is calling in on behalf of herself.

Hello. You are famous? Yes, I am the celebrity. I'm an award-winning mattress actress with an IMDb page with over a dozen credits. And by mattress actress, explain exactly what you mean. Like, you're in those cool commercials? Like, every Labor Day sale, it's all about you? um more testing it out uh think adult film star oh here we go got it you're a man you guys

on the mattress i didn't realize that that's a name for adult film stars or mattress actresses and you've been in uh projects before yeah um i have over a dozen dvds listed to my credit but I've done way more than that. And as a special treat to Allie, I am a trans being. Oh, wow. So I'm willing to do the clam jam for the clam slam. Hold on. Let me get this straight.

You're a post-op trans being? Yeah. So did you do videos before your operation and after? Yeah, a little bit before and after. Wow, that's fascinating. Okay. I don't know if I would put her up there with the Black Power Ranger level of fame, but... I don't know.

That's pretty exciting. She did do some Mighty Morphin. I know, babe. What about throwing this person in the mix? Yeah, whatever you want. Also, really quick, do you know who the keys to the car are? Oh, my God. The keys to the car.

They're in my fanny pack. Oh, Jesus. This is a gay conversation. Yeah, do whatever you want. Even the trans being said, this conversation is getting too gay for her. the keys to the Subaru in my fanny pack. She's going to go ahead and convert back. All right, hold on.

Katie, I just want to make sure we're not going to do any homewrecking here. You are on board with this if it is a real deal offer. Yeah, like hook up with someone cool. We'll see what happens. I'll probably be extremely jealous and hurt. Oh, that's not fun.

But, you know. Anyway, but it'll be fine. You won't leave me is what you're saying. No, I won't leave you. Do you remember that one time where, well, it's too long of a story. No, no, you basically said if you cheat on me, I'll stay with you. Yeah, I was like, my life is really great. I've earned enough points as a wife to say, hey, if I cheat, I'm still good.

Yeah, I mean, it'll hurt my feelings. Yeah, we'll get over that part. That's what therapy is for. All right, okay. Well, Allie, you've had some- Black Power Ranger, Transpian? You've had some tempting offers. Come one, come all.

I'm going to give you the best offer yet. And I think that even Omar is going to have his mind blown in a moment. And that's very rare because, you know, he's jaded. He doesn't care about celebrities. Charles, who do you know? It's me. I was a stunt double for Dewey in Malcolm in the Middle. Listen to this.

This guy was the stunt double for Dewey in Malcolm in the Middle. Got it. Oh, whoa. Omar wants to sleep with him. How many? Ali, come on. Let me ask you a serious question. How many stunts did they do?

Yeah, how many stunts did Dewey do in Malcolm in the Middle? Well, like, when things would get spilled on him and stuff like that, that was me. He couldn't get spilled on himself? It was a water park episode, and, yeah. He said, I'm out, I need a dub stunt double? So they go, we got to spill some juice on this Dewey kid, bring him the stunt double, and that was you. Yeah, basically, yeah. Okay, all right, Allie, what do you think of this now?

This guy's calling, and you would have sex with Allie. Hell yeah. That's amazing. Well, when his fluids get spilled on me, who's going to take my place? No one. That's you. I don't think we're going to get much better than this. 323 wanted to know if Brad Williams was considered C-list.

Brad Williams, he is famous enough. I don't know if his wife would be okay with him sleeping with you. I feel like I could probably sleep with his wife. Yeah, you probably could. But then we're no longer. Once again, I know you're still on the phone. I'm sorry we're talking past. Sorry, Dewey.

Sorry, stunt double Dewey. Have you had any other credits to your name, or is that the only one? No, I think so. That's it? Just the one? I don't think, like, if he goes out trying to get another stunt work job, and he's like, I did stunt work for... Anyone else need to be spilled on?

That's his only skill? All right, hold on. That's an interesting offer. David, you know famous people as well. Allie, once again, it's a celebrity hall pass, one-night stand. We just got verbal confirmation from our wife. It has to happen this weekend. Who do you know?

All right, so I got an A-lister, a C-lister, and then maybe some hopefully still alive A-listers. So I got my aunt or my girlfriend's aunt, boyfriend is the guitarist for Sublime. My girlfriend's mom Knows Chris The lead guitarist from Foo Fighters My girlfriend's mom also

Was on the tour bus With Grateful Dead And she knows probably more Guitarists and Musicians and all that kind of stuff Your girlfriend's mom sounds like a real slug She's been on a lot of tour buses She knows in a biblical sense a lot of guitarists

oh yeah okay all right hold on that's david he's got access access he claims to famous guitarist 310 wants to know if the lie detector guy is considered a c-list celebrity man that would make his dreams come true mine too uh i think he's famous enough he's been in some things 213 said they have kristen bell's number that would be great all right 213 see if you can get Kristen Bell. I'm being serious. We don't need to actually, Ali doesn't have to have sex with a celebrity for you to earn the tickets. They said they can't call in right now, but they went to college with her.

We need to have contacts. We just need to have the contact. Even if the celebrity calls to reject Ali. I love that this person who went to college with her would just pass along her number. I think that's great. I think that's a good listener. That's a good fan of the show. We have to take this break now because we're up on the clock and Vanessa's

yelling in my ear, but we will come back once again. We need And if it's going to be right now, the frontrunner, I think, is Black Power Ranger and the stunt double for Dewey. Agreed. Both men. Yeah. Also, let's not forget about that thespian, the... Transpian.

The Transpian, it called. I'm down for that, too. Mattress actress. She's a mattress actress. So, we do have options. I don't know if we've officially hit the C or D list yet. I think we're still a little below that list, but I like... We can work our way up.

We've got to start somewhere. I like where we're going. So if it takes you some time throughout the show today to track someone down or call Kristen Bell and get her to call us, that's fine. We're here live until 11 o'clock, so we can make it happen. We've got to take a quick break, though. We're back with your news. And then we're going to get into your Weezer tickets, and that's coming up in about 15 minutes right here. Okay, right.

You need to practice calling us. 800-520-1067 is the number. You'll need that coming up the second we're done with the ADD news. If you'd like to go see some Weezer here at Crypto.com. And then again, hopefully in Boston. That's a sold-out show already, but we will get you in if your name is pulled off of the standby boarding list. It's all part of KROQ's Road Trip USA.

Destination number 8, Boston with Weezer. And we're looking for your name to add to our list coming up in about 5 minutes or the second we're done with this. It's Clyde Alley Show. 6.7 KROQ FM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. So that is the wrong intro.

Got that out of the way. Let's go ahead and give you the intro you were waiting for, which I believe is the Allie Knows ADD News. That's what we're going to do. I know the ADD News. Allie Knows the ADD News. I have it right in front of me. I don't know what the hell happened here.

Glitch in the system, guys. The Matrix. Here we go. The system? Not you? Could be user error. I'm not exactly sure. Here's your news now, and then we'll get into that brand new hour of the show.

That was just a practice. Next time you hear that, you've got to call us. This was practice? That was practice. Are we live on the air still or not? Yeah. Oh, we are. Oopsies.

Here's your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Okay, so this is news that just broke in the last 10 minutes. Tim Curry has died, also at the age of 80. Same age as Dolly Parton. He was Dr. Frankenfurter in Rocky Horror Picture Show, one of the best movies ever made. He was It, the clown.

He was in Home Alone 2. He was the concierge. He was Rooster in Annie. He was in Muppet Treasure Island, Clue, Adam's Family Reunion, Scary Movie 2. So, yeah, he was a sequel guy. For any of you cartoon watchers, he was Nigel Thornberry in The Wild Thornberries. But this was, of course, as growing up as a musical theater kid, was one of my most heavily played songs when we were driving in the car.

I'm just a sweet transvestite From transsexual Transylvania So, yeah, I mean, of course, he was bigger amongst the musical theater community, but for anybody who saw any of the cult classics, like, you know, a lot of the movies he was in were kind of flops at the start, and then they developed this cult following, like Clue and Rocky Horror and many, many others. Between this guy and Dolly Parton, just a bad 24 hours for the games. I know. It's so tough for us today. It's really, really rough.

um about 14 years ago in 2012 he had had a stroke and he was in a wheelchair he talked about when he had the stroke he was getting a massage this was him talking about that i was having a massage at the time and i didn't even actually notice anything but the guy who was doing the massage said i'm worried about you i think i want to call an ambulance and he did and i said that's so silly and they put me in an ambulance. A very nice paramedic said, I'm going to give you morphine. And I said, bring it on.

Sounds like some massage. I know, right? And he was like, I'm worried about you. And he was like, yeah, we can skip this part. Just go right to the happy ending. That guy had those crazy bug eyes. He was a bug eye guy. And one of those good character actors.

You saw him in a lot of stuff. But not good when you're famous, You're famous, but you're not necessarily Dolly Parton famous. Your death gets overshadowed so quickly. No, but he was such a great performer just all around, so it is sad to see that he's dead, especially now after the news of Dolly Parton. And yes, Dolly Parton obviously is the big story of the morning.

She contributed to music. She contributed to the movie industry, to the baking aisle at the grocery store with her branded cake mixes and delicious frostings. But she also contributed to charity. She donated millions of dollars throughout her life to the fires in tennessee she used the royalties from whitney houston's i will always love you the cover and used it to invest in a predominantly black neighborhood in tennessee she also donated

a million dollars to help develop the covid vaccine she started a foundation donating books because her dad couldn't read or write she also supported the lgbt community or the gay plus community as pantyhose greg would call it and part of why she was loved by so many groups is because she loved them and yes she was a christian and country person that also was inclusive and open-minded which is why so many people who don't agree on crap can come together and celebrate dolly parton but i wanted to share one of the biggest pieces of advice that she gave to the youth of america and this was many years ago but i think it's still relevant today if you could tell teenagers of america today one thing whether it be advice or something of support what would

to be. I would say act like it's raining every day and wear your rubbers. See? She's talking about condoms, I think, right? You're picking up what she's putting down. Terrible advice. Ollie's mom gave the opposite advice to Ollie.

I think it's interesting that these two people have died, and with Dolly, you're focused on the boobs, and with Tim, you're focused on the eyeballs. That's right. The two big orbs. That's right. That's how I know actors. I just figure out what they're known for. And then finally, meta. Not universally loved. They're also no stranger to lawsuits. But as of this morning, their biggest lawsuit, the one that is among 47 different states, has reached a settlement.

This was they were suing for trillions of dollars. It would have wiped them out completely if they had won. But now they've agreed to an 18 billion dollar settlement. So I believe California is going to get like one point two billion of that. But they've also agreed to make, quote, massive transformations that will reduce the risk of harm from its platforms and they will do it within months. So it'll be interesting to see how Instagram and Facebook change over the coming months because the whole lawsuit was about how it's designed to be addictive, specifically to teenagers and kids, and they knew it when they developed it. Well, if you have any product, don't you want whatever that product is to be something that is consumed by people and then they want more of it and more of it? I mean, Dunkaroos are addicting. I was addicted to Dunkaroos for a stretch of my life, but they're not suing the Dunkaroos company.

Beth was addictive and the people who made it knew it. Right. I think the big problem with them is that they knew that this would harm minors, and they were like, let's go ahead with it. Addicting adults is, everyone knows that that's fine. When it's a kid, it's different.

That's why Camel had to stop using Joe Camel, because they were like, it's a cartoon. Kids love cartoons. But you know what? Adults also like to smoke and like cartoons, too. Of course we do. Jake, he's a big fan of anime. No, I'm not. Loves it. God damn it. Call her 20. Right now. 800-520-1067.

We send you to Weezer at least once and maybe even twice. It's all part of KROQ's Road Trip USA, and we need to add your name to our list. You don't want to have your name on a lot of lists. This is a good one, though, and you can still go within 200 yards of a school if you're on this list. Plus, maybe you'll be flying to Boston to see some Rivers Cuomo and Weezer. That is next on KROQ. KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show, and let's say good morning to the 20th caller that will be seeing Weezer at least one time and maybe even twice. So, once again, this is one of those things where you're guaranteed something, but you could get something even better, a real, but wait, there's more.

We say hi to, from the 805? Oh, that's not by me. Hey, Dawson. Hey, what's up, man? You are caller 20. Sweet. I'm a huge Weezer fan. Well, you're going to see them at least one time now when they take over Crypto.com Arena on October 24th.

And if we call you back Monday morning, pack your bags. You're going to go see them again in Boston, Massachusetts. All right? Hell yeah. Thanks a lot, guys. I love you guys. You're very welcome. Hold on.

Glad to know our signal works out there. Dawson, let's go ahead and check your honesty. If we're on a boat and the boat is sinking and you can either save us or Weezer, who do you save? I think it's got to be you because you're giving me tickets to the show right now. Well, but if Weezer doesn't survive. You're not seeing anything. Then you're just seeing an empty stage. Yeah, I know.

I've got to please who's in front of me right now. Make them happy. No, I wanted honesty, though. We're looking for honesty. Be honest. You really have to make this decision. It's either you save the four or five of us on this show or you save the band Weezer.

All right, you guys go overboard. I'm saving Weezer. That's right. Thank you for the honesty. Appreciate that. That's the right answer. You could also do the, I'll just jump. I can't choose.

Well, that would have been nice for him to say that. Just tie a brick to my foot and jump in myself. I can't do that. I don't want to live in a world that doesn't have... She was like between my children. But the correct answer is you save Weezer. National Treasures Weezer. Allie, we have a couple of things to get to.

First of all, someone is very upset with us for a variety of reasons. So let's go ahead and start with this. I've been quiet for too long and I need to speak up about this. Someone that has been holding in their thoughts for too long and finally they have hit their breaking point and they need us to be aware of something that bothers them, specifically about this show. Someone on the show has an Apple Watch.

It keeps deeming every show. It's a super quiet, super subtle thing that only Apple Watchers recognize. But every time I hear it, I think it's my own watch. Please tell that person to silence it. I have a feeling it's the lesbian of the show. Mine's on silence. It's definitely Allie. She's the only one I know that wears an Apple Watch during the show.

It's silent. And she claims it is subtle, but so subtle that she... There's no ringer right there. She still hears it, and she says it is ruining her day. Meanwhile, there's more people that have said that your noises are ruining their day as well. Yeah, so me and my cousin are driving to Vegas right now. We're listening to a podcast, and all of a sudden, we hear a ding. Someone got a message, and we're over here high and down checking our phones.

And what I do, no one got a message in any of these phones. And we thought there was a whole lot of other phones until we realized it came from your freaking podcast. Why is there a message that's coming in to the podcast? Sweet, everybody. Allie, these guys were on an adventure. They're very high right now. They couldn't figure it out, man. I wonder how long of their ride to Vegas they spent trying to look for the other phone that was in the car.

I don't know why everyone's pointing their finger at me. You're the one who has your phone on ring a lot of the times. And it rings through your computer. Remember that phase? Yeah, well, I stopped that phase. Remember your random alarms you would set that would also go off during the show? That phase? This person, listen, we've had two calls back to back both saying that the chimes and the dings that are coming off of your body are ruining their day.

I'm telling you, my stuff is on silent. It's always on silent. Apple Watch has a different sound altogether. It's a different noise it makes. Maybe it's your little aura gay ring. No, no, that doesn't make any noise. Fancy ring. In fact, Allie, I didn't even wear it today.

Whoa. The plot thickens. Because it's out of battery. I lost it. So, uh-huh. Now it's not tracking crap. So apologies for all of the noises that you didn't come here for. Sorry, we'll work on it.

Here's a noise you'll probably enjoy. It's from the band Green Day. I'm KROQ. Hey, Rod. We are a Klein Alley Show. You need us. We're around for you now live. But if we're not here, you can use the GOAT line.

That number is 844-956-GOAT. Hi. I'm Drunken Stone, Sweet Dibs. Cool. I am so stooped that you guys allowed us to come to this event. But apparently, he heard Omar and you guys. So now he is, I have been, demanding anal. Ah!

Sorry about that. So once again, I don't remember how this came up on the show. But at some point. I don't remember saying that either. We were talking. It sounds like something you say. You said it. No, it does.

It sounds like something Omar would say, but also it sounds like something a husband would make up. Totally. And so I don't recall this ever happening for people going to the Endless Summer Kegger. I know that was a conversation that happened, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. And that's fine. I've done anal, but that's his new caveat to the trip. Let's go with it. Yeah, once again, you can blame Omar, you can blame us, but we are not the man.

They said it, not me. Yeah, I know you're probably hearing this message sadly too late, but you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Anyway, love you guys. So excited to go. We cannot, we are so excited. Okay, great. He's more excited.

Endless Summer Kegger, he's going to be tapping that keg a little early, but we will get to that. And if you want to join us, we have more of your access coming up this hour. So be ready to win your tickets in to the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. That will be coming up in moments. Jake hit the streets to get instant reaction to the death of Dolly Parton

and could he find anyone that would say anything bad about Dolly? She's universally loved. He went out there with a mission. Could he find one person that didn't like Dolly Parton? And I know he talked to a lot of people so we'll get into this exclusive undercover investigation as to if

anyone didn't like Dolly Parton? Is it possible? I don't like country music but I like Dolly Parton. Well you just like what she was and what she stood for. I liked all that stuff. She was one of those like proud Like, I'm almost like, I'm going to be a blonde bimbo, and I think it's empowering. I don't think it's a bad thing. She owned it.

Yeah, exactly. I think she knew who she was from the beginning, and she never covered it up, and I think that's why people respected her from the beginning, and I think that she was somebody who said potentially controversial things, and everyone was like, meh, still love her. Speaking of which, Allie has ranked her most favorite quotes from Dolly ever, so we'll break some of those down as well. A proper tribute. We haven't done that yet today, but we'll do a proper tribute coming up later in the

show and get you into the endless summer kegger after this on k-rock there's one thing we know for sure it's that if a big death is going to happen it will always happen the second we get off the radio and that's what happened yesterday we were off the air we went to the back office we started having a chat about today's show and then we uh heard sadly over the airwaves of k-rock broken to us by sluggo that dolly parton was uh was dead and um you know listen regardless if you don't like country music like i don't because i think that's what she was known for was kind of the pioneer in the face of country music, which to me is a, you know, I don't like music, period,

but specifically country. Ugh, can't stand it. I liked Dolly, always liked Dolly Parton. Found her to be likable. And then we decided that everyone liked Dolly Parton, so we sent Jake into the streets to see if he could find anyone to say anything bad about Dolly Parton. And it was a difficult, difficult job.

What's your name? What's your name, dude? You're wearing a Dolly Parton shirt. Oh, yes, yeah, I am. Whatever, tonight was the night to at least bring the shirt out. Sure. Yeah, yeah. What are your feelings on Dolly Parton?

A legend, you know. I grew up with her music, and her ashes are in the same cemetery as my family's. You know, Tennessee family. So they're having me go out, and I can't go home until I can find someone to say something bad about Dolly Parton. That's not really what the assignment was, Jake. I just didn't want to get punched in the face. Well, we said you're going to get a lot of people to say nice things about Dolly. Let's, you know, any good news journalist wants to get both sides of the story.

So can you find anyone to be on the opposite side of that? It wasn't, we're not saying go out and get people to say bad things about Dolly Parton. And don't go home until you get one. We never said that. That's what you said to me. No, we didn't. Who said that to you? All you guys.

Don't go home until you get people to say bad things about Dolly Parton. This man with giant jugs just kept asking me. He said, please say something bad about Dolly Parton. We really, the assignment was, could you find anyone to say anything? not not force them to say something bad just the idea is there anything bad to say about someone that's universally loved can you do that i i don't have any bad ideas i i i don't know i didn't i didn't know what controversy she was involved in what's the worst you can say about dolly parton see this i know i don't like this now this is turning into now saying mean things about a dead

person she had an evil spirit did she um i'm not into fake boobs oh something like like i'm not i but isn't that terrible it's just i so this is more on me than her so there you go you turned it around on him that's it that's a his that's on me i don't like fake boobs there's something wrong with me uh jake i went into and i went up to another woman who was mourning the loss of dolly park what's your name page page from where here that's page from here if you're keeping track Right here. So this is Paige. Don't overthink it.

She's going to give us some of her real thoughts about the passing of Dolly Parton, followed by Jake immediately forcing her to say mean things about her. Paige, from where? Here. Paige, what are your feelings on Dolly Parton? I'm devastated. I love how she... God damn it.

You came up to me after I'm drinking Tecate. You hear Jake's crickets in the background. It's hard because there's a lot of noise. Oh, my God, how can you still hear them? It's amazing. I love how she harnessed the blonde bimbo aesthetic, claimed ownership over it, got ahead of everyone on that. And she did that before OnlyFans, before the rest of us who went out and enjoyed ourselves. So she claims before OnlyFans, before people were celebrating their sexuality, taking control of it, that was something that Dolly Parton did.

She was one of the first to do that, yeah. I appreciate that as well. Is that how you would categorize yourself? I would love to categorize myself that way, but I don't think I'm blonde enough. So she wishes she was a blonde bimbo like Dolly, but she doesn't think she's blonde enough. Well, you think about also how we all feel still, like we have to be beautiful, but not make it look like it's effort, you know, and you have to make it look like it's all natural and that, oh, whoopsie, I'm beautiful. I don't think anyone's accused you of putting the effort into looking good. I'm not saying me, just saying as in general in society.

okay it's like oh whoopsies i'm beautiful and she's like no i pay doctors to look like this anyway so jake try to ask this woman page if she can say anything bad about dolly uh so they're not letting me go home if i can find someone that can say something bad about dolly parton when you say they do you you didn't mention that you're gonna radio like do you say you're a k rotley do you who is the they that won't let you go home you too You're going to lose your job. I don't think... Don't come back until you have the story.

I mean, we were all at the same meeting. I don't think anyone said that. Um... I mean, maybe she catered more to the, like, male. Oh, maybe that's it. I mean, that's the one thing, I guess. She catered more to the male? The male.

M-A-L-E or M-A-I-L? The male. She loved the USPS. All right, well, that's Jake trying to find anyone to say anything bad about Dolly Parton, which is not easy. No, it's not. But Allie was busy saying that Dolly Parton, on top of being known for music and her giant rack and everything else, she was actually very funny. Yeah, and she was one of the most quotable people. So I compiled my 10 most favorite quotes, the best Dolly quotes of all time from one to 10.

So this is according to Allie. How do you boil down 80 years on this planet into 10 quotes? and it's not easy but Ali went through hundreds to give to you for those of you that are not aware or just to want a refresher as we pay a proper respects now these are the 10 greatest quotes from Dolly Part

according to Ali number 10 is one that you may have seen on your feet already and it costs a lot of money to look this cheap that's a good one then we go to number 9 who said people always ask me how long it takes to do my hair I don't know

I'm never there Which I liked Number 8 Her delivery is better by the way I thought we had the audio of her doing these I think I have audio of every single one Yeah I said you have the audio ready to go on the quotes You didn't say the audio

I think I did No you did not I don't have audio of every single one of these That's how you do it in her accent How about Vanessa does it as Dolly Parton Tracking down the audio of every single one of these quotes These are her best quotes, her ten best quotes. You would think they're all over the place.

Well, then you effing find them. Why don't you go find something for once? I didn't want to do this. I've been dealing with, like, hours and hours of audio that I'm cutting through today. Are you kidding me? You said I wanted to pay tributes to Dolly Parton with her best quotes. I said best quotes. I'm not going to find, I can't find the audio of every single quote.

Oh, I thought, not all of them. I thought of the ten. Are there any with audio? I don't have them. Jeez. Oh, what a tribute. Then forget it. Eff you guys.

Apologies to Dolly and her family Then what do you have Why don't you bring something to the table Listen this wasn't my idea It wasn't But it wasn't my idea to have all the quotes ready Through audio Was anyone else expecting quotes here

From Dolly With her accent Apparently that was your expectation And you told me don't go home until I've got them I said do not go home If you don't get the quotes Alright let me hear the next one No, I'm not going to do it.

Now I'm interested. No, I don't care if you're interested. It's over. You're not going to do it. It's over? No. That was our tribute? Three quotes?

No, because if you're going to sit there and make fun of it and go, you don't have the audio, then it's not fun. So, screw you. I see a bunch of Dolly audio in here. Yeah, I know. That I've been going through all day, douche. I thought these were the quotes. I don't have all of the quotes of everything she's ever said. Hold on.

Is this one of them? Do you know how long it even took me to find all the quotes? How about this? And order them properly? Hey, everyone. My name is Brian Seaver, son of Cassie Parton, and I'm representing the Parton and Owens family today, announcing the passing of my Aunt Dolly Rebecca Parton Dean. That's one. We got that on you.

That's one quote from not her. There's like 40 Dolly quotes here. There's not 40 Dolly quotes. Let's try it in the accent like Vanessa said. No, I'm not doing it. What? No, if you're going to bitch about it, then forget it. I'm not going to do it.

You can't go home until I get the quotes. Why don't we all go find as many of them as I can, and we'll do it tomorrow when no one cares. Hey, Luke, you're on KROQ. Good morning. I don't think you guys realized that Allie mushed Dolly yesterday. She said she would sleep with Dolly. That's not... No, I didn't say that. When did that happen yesterday during the show?

No, she was talking about somebody else. I was talking about somebody else. Yeah, Betty White. Okay, yeah, don't blame Allie for this. We're blaming her for enough right now. I'm glad we screened that. Don't jump on. Don't jump on.

All right, well, Dolly. Everyone's doing their jobs today. That was our tribute to you. You're welcome. And thank you for all of your quotes. And there's more where those came from, and we will share them all after this. Good job, Allie, says 818. That was a great quote.

You guys aren't good at tributes. No S. We found a quote. I don't know if this is one of the top ten, but this is her chatting with, I think this was barbara walters talking about what she wanted people to remember her uh you know by and that's always a weird thing to hear after someone's dead this was a dolly pardon how do you think you're going to be remembered let's say a hundred years from now remembered well i think probably what i'd like people to say about me a hundred years from now is boy she looks great for her age

it's funny it's very funny you know one of the quotes i was going to read was that when she turned 60, she said, I'm not 60, I'm sexty. She said that? Yeah. It's a great line. I don't have audio of it, though. Well, then it didn't happen. No, it doesn't matter. Do it in her accent. I would love to hear it. No, it's done. I'm not doing it. Ali's refusing to pay

respects now to Dolly Parton. Well, because now everyone's just going to think about the fact that there's no audio for it, so it ruins it. So I'm not going to do it. Well, maybe this audio doesn't exist, these quotes. Some of them, there is no audio of it. So let me hear these quotes. It's just things that she said. Let me hear them. Hey, what's up? There he is. He didn't answer.

Our boss is walking by. There's our boss. There he is. He's drinking, by the way. Drink water. Drink water. He's got a drink in his hand. He doesn't know what we're saying.

He's playing by the rules. No, he can't listen. He didn't answer our call earlier today, but we're not taking our proper hydration breaks. I'm a self-made woman, and I have the doctor bills to prove it. It's a good thing I was born a girl. Otherwise, I'd be a drag queen. I was the first woman to burn my bra. It took the fire department four days to put it out.

That's funny. That's like the jokes I remember. That was my first introduction to Dolly Parton was his all-giant-boob jokes, and it was things like that. When I talk to a man, I can always tell what he's thinking by where he's looking. If he's looking at my eyes, he's looking for intelligence. If he's looking at my mouth, he's looking for wisdom. If he's looking anywhere except my chest, he's looking for another man.

I'm comfortable in my own skin no matter how far I've stretched it. And my personal favorite was if I see something sagging, bagging, or dragging, I get it sucked, tucked, or plucked. That's a beautiful tribute. Do you think she wrote all that herself, or do you think she had writers? God, I feel like all this stuff, she was the first to say it. Because whenever she would do interviews, and I did see a lot of them over the past 24 hours, she was, like, real quick.

It seemed like she had a response ready to go. Well, when you think about interviews, too, all of that stuff is so planned now. Right. And all the stuff that we've played and talked about, those were just moments. Did she have that quote about, I pooped my pants and I didn't have underwear? Was that her? That was Vanessa. Oh, that's right.

I pooped my pants and I don't have underwear. We do have audio of that. That's a good thing. There's your audio, folks. You happy? What's happening in the world together with a look at your ADD news. Allie will deliver that news. Allie, another message waiting for you on the go line.

Hey, Allie, this is Zora. How can I get you here again? Every time you talk about that guy, he leaves a message for you. He's obsessed with me. He's obsessed. What are the odds of all the celebrities that you are hunting for this week? That would be the one that is infatuated with you. And I just would like to bury the old hatchet.

Oh, he wants to make it. It's never worth having a squabble. But speaking of hatchet, I heard you were looking for some celebrity hatchet wound. And I was talking to my celebrity wife, Cheryl. She's pretty famous, and so am I. We were thinking we could have a freeway. Nice. So there you go.

The offer's continuing to pour in. And today we are going to be hunting for celebrities that potentially you know someone who knows someone who knows someone that's on a C-list, D-list, B-list or above. And maybe, oh just maybe, Allie can have that one-night stand and guarantee herself a funner summer. I'd love to book someone today. It'd be great. I know that all the fun of a one-night stand comes from booking three days in advance. But let's go ahead and try to figure that out. Right now, though, we have your news.

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Obviously, people are very sad to know that we are waking up in a world where there's no more Dolly Parton living on this earth. Flags are at half staff. The Empire State Building was pink last night and glittery. On the way in today, the Hollywood Bowl had a We Will Always Love You Dolly written on their marquee. Sweet knockers. Yeah, she did have some sweet knockers, and she loved them.

Flowers were being left outside of Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee on her Walk of Fame star, too, which will be interesting to smell a mix of old flowers and old pee. And, of course, many people have tributized her. Sabrina Carpenter, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Elton John, Jack White, Celine Dion, Oprah, and many, many others have posted tributes about Dolly. And this person on the GOAT line. I'm not no country fan, but on my bucket list was to motorboat those things. Well, I got to scratch that off. Rest in peace, Dolly.

Nice tribute. That's exactly what Elton John said. That's a beautiful... Oh, that was. That was Elton John, actually. That's a beautiful tribute, Elton. Thank you, Sir Elton John. Would you like to say a few words about her boobs?

Well, listen, I'm not a country fan either. I think she went beyond the genre, but yeah. 100%. Dolly Parton, universally loved and respected. Very, very few people on the planet that are just truly universally loved. I never liked Dolly. You're the only one who either. No, I'm just kidding.

You were more neutral, though, but you don't like music. I didn't know about her as a musician. As a music. Let me start this tribute again. This is going great. I'm going to go with this guy's tribute. I'm not no country fan, but on my bucket list was to motorboat those things. Well, I got to scratch that off.

Rest in peace, Dolly. Growing up, Dolly Parton was always a punchline about a joke about giant breasts. That was always, I didn't even know who the woman was. Sometimes she was the one delivering the punchlines. I just remember the jokes about it, and that was always the, it's probably why, to be honest, and this is a real trivia, it's probably why I love boobs today. I mean, that was probably the first person who I knew boobs before person. you know yeah and uh i think that she knew that and she celebrated all parts of herself you know

she had the most top hits of any female artist and she came from nothing she was one of 12 kids growing up in a two-bedroom cabin in tennessee and there's a lot of people to buy houses for when you get rich when you have 12 people in your family but she when she was born her family paid the doctor with a sack of cornmeal oh man but right away she had the right idea about life because her role model it's the same insurance policy we have here at k-rock we uh we only can go to doctors except grains grains or cornmeal it's hard to find someone that'll see us for cornmeal these days but uh this is what the company went with but growing up this was her role model this was the town tramp in her town and this is who she wanted to grow up to be like

the woman that i was most impressed with when i was a little girl was the town tramp but i didn't know what that meant this woman had the yellow peroxide hair she had the red nails the red The lipstick, the beautiful eyes, the high heels, short skirt. And I thought she was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. And whoever I was with said, oh, she ain't nothing but trash. And I'd make the joke and I would say, well, that's what I'm going to be when I grow up. I'm going to be trash. This is why I did like Dolly after the fact.

And it wasn't, by the way, musically because I'm not into country. I'm not really into music at all, so don't listen to me for that. But I did find that she really seemed like she gave zero Fs about what people thought about her. But did give a lot of Fs about trying to make people happy. And being inclusive of it. Many groups loved her because she loved many groups of people. Yeah, that part I didn't like so much. But the other stuff I was a big fan of.

And the reality is that people say that, you know, you talk about this whole American dream is dead now. And it's impossible to come from nothing and make something of yourself. And that she, in some ways, if you look back at all the people that have, quote, hit the American dream, maybe not a better example on the planet than Dolly, proving that if you just get a set of giant rack, you can accomplish anything. If they got a guitar, they got a guitar in the house when she was seven. That's really what did it. But then the jugs came after.

Yeah, the jugs. That's not well before the jugs. Let's go. By the way, nice tribute to Dolly today, Jake. I see what you're wearing. It's beautiful. Did you wear a bra today? Jake's just showing his moves out big time today.

Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful, beautiful tribute. She'd be happy. Someone who took a page out of Omar's book. We learned recently in the Box of Shame that Omar left his injured child alone at a race so that he could stay on pace for his... It was just a 5K, right, Omar? Only a 5K.

So somebody else did the same thing, only they did it on Mount Fuji, and they left their child for a very long time. In Japan, a 7-year-old boy was found abandoned on Mount Fuji. Police say the kid's father left him alone for 8 hours so he could continue climbing with his older son. Respect it. Omar loves the move. Totally respect that. Game knows game. Why are you on Mount Fuji with a 7-year-old, first of all?

You know that that kid can't pull his weight. I'm shutting this down, kid. Here's a snack. We'll see you in a bit. They probably showed the kid a picture on the iPad and said, does this look fun? The kid's awesome. Yeah, that looks fun. I'm going to try to bond with my dad.

The reality of it is once you get there, my legs hurt, growing pains, whatever else they say. And that's right. What are you going to go back? You're all the way in Mount Fuji. Omar said, leave the kid. Sit right here. If you've ever been hiking with a kid, like two minutes in, it's the worst thing ever. Well, workers spotted the boy sitting on a bench in the rain.

He told them he got tired, so his dad gave him a drink and a snack and told him to wait. Listen. A drink and a snack? I know. That's luxury, man. Omar didn't give that for his kids. That's true. He just left them.

He just left them in the dust. The kid was dehydrated, Omar, so I'm going to take this water. She was in pain. She was, like, keeled over. Did she need medical attention, or? Ah, she's fine. Ah, good. Yeah.

And then finally, we say goodbye, not just to Dolly Parton, but likely to Mimi's Cafe. Mimi's Cafe has not been doing well for quite a while now, but they are closing 106 locations. This is a local chain that started almost 50 years ago. Right by Disneyland was the first location that opened up. And it was great for people who wanted to feel like they were going to a fancy French restaurant, but really they just wanted a giant BLT for $12.95. And now with these closures, they're down to just 39 locations across 10 states, which is a shadow of its former empire.

My grandma loved Mimi's Cafe. Seems to be, sadly, the case with lots and lots of our favorites. And that's why you've got to support these things now before they're gone. Got to get me to a Mimi's. Got to get in there immediately. Next thing you know, it's just gone. Poof. Just a memory.

And then you're sitting there telling someone, oh, you know who had a great BLT was Mimi's. And they go, shut up, old man. No one cares about your story. I mean, that was everybody in Mimi's anyway. It was an old man who loves BLTs. We're eating Chipotle and drinking boba now. Get with the times. We get into a brand new hour of the show in moments.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Hello, Maya. Why are you calling? Good morning. I'm trying to party with y'all at the endless summer keg. You are the 20th caller and you don't sound like a lame-o, so we will see you there. Yes, can't wait. Let's go.

So get ready for all your keg stand dreams. You're going to have to help us lift Vanessa for her first ever keg stand. And you're going to have to help us lift Rob the Blob if he shows up. We're all going to have to lift Rob the Blob. He's going to be doing some crowd surfing. So do some cardio between now and then so you're ready to help us out. We'll see you at the Back Bay Amphitheater as we take the party to Newport for a change. And thank you for listening.

And hold on one second so we can get you on the list. All right? Yay! Thank you. You're very welcome. Do you think Rob can walk? No, no, no. There's no way, right?

I think he said he needs four people to help him stand. So I would imagine he needs four people to help him take steps as well. Oh, man, that's wild. There's a chance, the way I envision it at least, that he's in one of those bungee situations. Like, you know, when the kids can't walk right away and they're in that little bungee thing where they bounce up and down. Oh, yes. In my mind, he's in something like that that allows him to be upright. But I don't know.

Where is the bungee connected to? I don't know. He'd have to probably center earth or something. Oh, God. God's fingers. Good afternoon. Take a walk, Rob. I don't know.

That's our newest favorite person, Rob the Blah. I still want proof of fat, man. He's got to send a pic. Yeah, Vanessa, tell him he has 24 hours to give us proof of fat or we're moving on. Okay. They're asking for proof of fat. If you could please send me proof of fat. I don't want to waste anyone's time if this guy is pulling the rug out from under us.

You know what I'm saying? Okay. Lots to get to this hour on the show, believe it or not. We start with Sombra because we must, and then we get into everything else we have in store for you on KROQ, including the return of Colab or Folab. It's hard to keep track of all the people that are collabing these days. Some are made up, some are real.

We'll get into that and give you more chances to win stuff from us on KROQ. Good morning. I showed Allie a video this morning of what I encountered in my kitchen before I was leaving for work, and she got to watch me single-handedly take down a jumbo cockroach, and the thing almost got away. And this problem is now going on to week number two. I've done the sprays inside.

I've done sprays outside. I put traps down. You hired people to spray, too. Sticky traps. I've done the sprays. Had a professional come do some sprays. Put down the sticky traps. Got stuck in the sticky traps.

Myself. Took me out. Hasn't. You said that publicly? Yeah. And this is becoming an issue. And then we learned yesterday on the show that apparently the reason, if you're having more cockroaches, is not just because it's summer and they're trying to get inside and cool off like the rest of us.

It's because they love feasting on cardboard boxes. And if you have cardboard boxes, you are probably going to have bugs. Did the professional that came and sprayed, did he mention cardboard boxes too? No, didn't mention at all. Didn't even come up. He just probably said it's hot outside. He said you do not have an infestation. It's normal to have cockroaches.

I see them all the time. It sounds like you have an infestation. I mean, it seems like there are a lot of them. I'm seeing multiple every single day. Everyday multiples, and some dead, some alive, some in the state of dying, and then there's messages like this. Okay, well, heads up, yeah, cockroaches and other insects are really attracted to cardboard. At work right now, we have a lot of cardboard boxes in our warehouse area, and actually millipedes will often show up even in the office area. So this guy's got a millipede problem.

So if you ever see a caterpillar but it has like 100 legs, that could be the reason why. That's not my problem, and I don't think that would gross my wife out. Give them a couple weeks. You'll have a millipede problem. Yeah, the millipede's not an issue. Those don't have the bad PR like cockroaches have. They got bad PR. That's the problem.

They're not likable. Like bees used to have bad PR, and then all of a sudden everyone became bees are our savior. Let's save the bees. They got a good new PR firm, and everyone started saying protect the bees, save the bees. Yeah, and now when I see them in a pool, I have to do the scoop. Yeah, people scoop them out. They don't even squish them. It used to be a squish.

Hey, I killed this bee. Hey, you're a hero. Now it's like you killed a bee. Like, what's wrong with you, you monster? Yeah, to, like, revive it and do, like, bee CPR. Cockroaches don't have that. Everyone universally hates them. Yeah, but I don't...

But there's no positive thing about the cockroach. The thing with bees is I think they're responsible for 30% of what we eat. Right. So I don't think cockroaches really... So take that, roaches. What are you doing to society? But I do want to say that my wife, who blames me for the cockroach problem because she doesn't think i've handled it appropriately i believe that she is actually the culprit because she is

the only person that is there's not been one cardboard box delivered to my house that i can think of in recent memory that had my name on it doesn't happen every once in a while every once in a while one shows up with my name and i get excited and it's something for her that just happened to have my name i know that you've ordered things before that you haven't even opened because you see the boxes and assume they're for your wife oh yeah i don't so you don't even i used to get excited here because you know that's the only way you're gonna receive i I used to get excited and say, oh, my God, I got a package. Like, it was Christmas.

I didn't know. What did I get? And then it would open it. It would be like, you know, makeup brushes. It definitely was not for me. And I was all annoyed. And I'm like, what happened? She's like, oh, yeah, put your name on the Amazon box.

And I'm like, I fell for that a few times. And now I don't even bother opening them. They're never for me. Does she put your name on there intentionally? I think she just wants to fool me every time. But listen, let's be honest. She now needs to learn, Dally, that she is the problem. It's not me.

I'm not the problem. Women love to hear that they're the problem. This will go great. Well, I was before, but Allie, we know. This is an ongoing fight that you are in. The fight is always that I don't handle things the way that they should be handled. That I always go for either the cheap solution or the half solution that ends up coming back to not work out. Yeah, but even if you have been doing something.

I've been doing a lot. But it's her fault. She needs to know it. Hello. Hey, I found out why the cockroaches keep coming over. Why? Cardboard. What?

Cardboard. All your deliveries, the cardboard box? I don't understand. Yeah, look it up. No. Cockroaches are addicted to cardboard. It's their favorite food source. Well, and you keep saying different things.

You're like, the fluid from outside and it's on your comforter that you brought from upstairs. Listen to me right now. Wait, what is the fluid from outside that came onto your comforter? No, she said not fluid from my comforter. It flew it. There was one on my comforter. Oh, there was? Downstairs.

downstairs and then he said that it flew in from outside but he brought the comforter from upstairs yeah that it flew onto the comforter it flew in it flew in the comforter because you're no longer sleeping in the it was getting ready for my couch sleep that's all i'm gonna say danielle look it up we just got information they're cardboard boxes there's no cardboard boxes upstairs kevin there's cardboard boxes everywhere that's all it is cardboard boxes look around get rid of the cardboard you'll see the cockroaches go away trust me okay i don't think you're right all right all right we gotta do a big cardboard burn and i'm telling you all those cardboard boxes you keep in the garage in case you get you know

for shipping stuff that's like a buffet for the car look it up cardboard cockroaches i mean you still can't complain explain one from upstairs okay yeah the comforter that's a weird story All right, we got to go. Now I have to go? Yeah, we have to go. Now that I'm out of defense, I have to go. Whenever I make a point. There's no point.

There's no point. I dragged the comforter on the ground. It picked up a cockroach on the ground. Danielle, are you guys moving? You dragged it from upstairs, Kevin. There's no cockroaches upstairs. But you dragged it from upstairs. Exactly.

And then the cockroach hopped on at the end. Hopped on at the end by the door. Hopped on at the end. You don't even go by the door when you bring it downstairs. All right. They don't know which path I took. It's the only way to get downstairs is by the door. An alive one jumped on your comforter?

It was not alive. It was dead. It was half alive. Half dead. Hey, maybe, though, in a two-week period, they're going to all be dead and it'll be done. I don't know. Get rid of the cardboard. The problem solves itself.

You can get rid of it. Okay. Love you. Another productive conversation. So, will this get brought up in therapy? Yeah, this will get brought up because she doesn't think I'm listening, but I am listening, and she's the problem. What'd she say? I don't know, something about something, but regardless, it's...

I mean, your explanations for things sound ridiculous. Allie. That a cockroach flew in and onto your comforter is crazy. That's not true. You're just making that up. No. No, that's what happened. No, it didn't fly.

You didn't see it fly onto you. No, that's what happened. No, that's not what happened. Listen, I dragged the comforter... You listened to your wife. And I dragged it by the door where they all seemed to come in from. You didn't even go by the door. She doesn't know what she's talking about.

She doesn't know. I brought the stupid thing down. I brought the blankets down. She doesn't want to get in the bed now. She thinks the bed is infested now, too. She's right. Sounds like they're everywhere. The one that you showed me this morning on a video is right on your kitchen counter.

Right. Yeah. That is bleh. Yeah, that was pretty gross. I thought they were staying on the floor. I mean, the max I've ever seen in my, any place I've lived ever is two or three. Total. At the same time?

No. I mean, you're seeing six, seven a day. Yeah, I don't know what the, we're at a point now where I either have to admit she's right, which is terrible. I can't do that. Give her the point on this. She is terrified of cockroaches. Nobody likes them and they're in your house.

If I say she's right, then she will bring this up forever. And any time moving forward there's ever a, quote, infestation, which she thinks is a lot, she will say, remember the cockroach thing. You admitted I was right, so I can't do that. And there will be a lot of future infestations. Do you remember the mouse infestation and how you handled that? You had the guy come over to the house and he just collected mouse poop and left and you never saw him again.

That was the weirdest thing. And then you moved. And then we moved, yeah. Because that guy, that was a weird guy. He showed up with a Ziploc bag, came into my house. He was a weird guy. What about you? took a bunch of mouse poop

and left. He never called us again. Never gave us any sort of a... Thank you, sir. I don't even know if... Where did you find this guy? He was one of the first numbers I called.

I'll take this. Excuse me. He's not... It was the weirdest thing that's ever happened. Did he even have a vest on or any... Was he with a...

I thought he had like a lab coat or something, but I didn't see a company. I don't know. I wasn't home. He just took... I mean, maybe if you're... Maybe you're just not good

at hiring the people. Maybe she should hire the people. that would be the most expensive way to do it, and I would be livid. Well, clearly the cheap routes are not working. I'm usually with you on the cheap stuff, but this isn't working. Mika. Yeah, yeah. This is Mika.

What's up? Hey, shout out to NetBangers. Cockroaches have a trait that is called positively thigmotactic, which means they like surfaces on both the top and their bottom. And so cardboard boxes have all those folds, and that is like the perfect environment for cockroaches. And that's why they're attracted to cardboard. Thank you. Thank you for that.

I love folds. Call her back and tell her. I'm not. Your neck has a lot of folds, man. Think they're hiding down there? Maybe they see the folds from a distance, and they're like, folds. Thank you. Hey, David, what's up, man?

What's up, man? Hey, so you need to get an iguana, man, because they eat cockroaches. Just buy an iguana, let it roam around the house, and you won't have them anymore. Oh, she'll love it. All right, that's a great solution. Next phone call. She doesn't want to get rid of her boxes, so I'm getting an iguana. And if you guys have cereal boxes, get containers.

All right, this is all good advice. I greatly appreciate that. Iguana's moving in with me next. Collaborations are everywhere. It's hard to keep up with all the things that are happening. I'm the only guy that I know that has been fooled multiple times around April Fool's about collabs that were not real, but I thought they were, and I got really excited, and I said, ah, if only that was real. But sadly, we live in a world that does not have peanut butter and jelly soup dumplings,

and that's how it's going to be for now, and maybe one day that will change. We have real collabs that are taking place between brands, ones you're probably unaware of that are actually really happening, and ones we've made up. One is fake. The others are real. It's time for something we call Collab or Follab. Here we go. once again everything you're about to hear is a real collaboration except one of them and if you

figure out which one is not real the faux lab you will win your way into the collaboration of the end of summer including us collabing with slightly stupid and a keg of beer or multiple kegs of beer excuse me. We say good morning to Dylan in Simi Valley. Dylan has a chance to play his way into the show right now. Hello Dylan. Hello. You're going to hear some collabs in a moment as presented by Jake,

Omar, Ali, myself, and all you have to do is figure out which one is not real. Got it? Got it. Are you in the middle of eating right now or what is going on there? Yeah, no, I'm just working but trying to talk to you. Don't let us distract you. Yeah, keep doing what you're doing. Just keep doing whatever

loud thing you're doing and we'll just... I'm not doing anything dangerous. Is it dangerous? No, it's not dangerous. What is it that you do for work? I'm just delivering stuff. Oh, cool. It can be dangerous. You don't know where you're going.

All right, here we go. Here we go. It's Possible Collab No. 1, as presented by Jake the Nerd. Listen closely. All right, man. Just in time for the new Grand Theft Auto. Xbox is collaborating with Ikea to bring you furniture and pillows inspired by the Xbox and Xbox controllers. collab number one is furniture from ikea that looks like xbox controllers could be made up

could be real we go to possible collab number two dj omar khan what do you have for us yes sir um just in time for the nfl kickoff of the season we have disney and the nfl collabing all 32 football teams are going to be paired up with iconic disney characters for example the detroit lions are going to feature the Lion King on T-shirts, sweatshirts, things of that nature. The Buffalo Bills are going to have the Beast on their shirts, and the Chicago Bears are going to have Baloo. And it goes on like that. Pretty lame. All right, so Omar says a collab between NFL teams and Disney characters.

Sounds like an unlikely pairing. I wonder which character they're going to give to the Cleveland Browns. Pluto. Probably. Oh, is that right? That's right, yeah. Probably one of the lamest Disney characters, too. I have a possible collab number three for you. It is a collaboration between everyone's favorite drink of choice,

Buzz Balls, and everyone's favorite breakfast on the go, Pop-Tarts. That's right. Pop-Tart flavored Buzz Balls are now a thing. So you can enjoy your Buzz Ball with the sweet flavors of some Pop-Tart, including frosted brown sugar cinnamon or frosted s'mores. If you want a Buzz Ball and you can't decide, what do I feel like for breakfast, Pop-Tart or Buzz Ball? You don't have to make that choice anymore.

Unbelievable. And finally, possible collab number four. Allie has it for you. So this was going to be released later this year, but in honor of Dolly Parton's death, they are releasing early the Dolly Parton Barbie with removable boob cups that you can make larger. They have all the sizes ranging from A to F. Of course, to promote body positivity, you can collect them all. and her body will be decked out in her signature red, white, and blue rhinestone bodysuit.

So it's a Dolly Parton Barbie that has interchangeable boobs. So you can take out the cups, you can put on bigger ones, you can do one big, one small, but you got to... Why stop at F, by the way? Keep it going. I mean, maybe they're going to release more later. She definitely had bigger than Fs, by the way. Is that a... Do you have to pay extra for the big boobs? It comes with two different sizes, but you can buy an additional pack. Oh, okay.

Sort of like earbuds, you know, where you can do all the different sizes and figure out which one fits you the best. All right, one of these is made up. The others are shockingly real. Which do you believe is the faux lab, the fake collaboration Dylan? Oh, you guys made it hard on me. I want to say the first one. The first one you believe to be made up? Yeah.

Is that the Xbox one? That's the Xbox one that Jake said. So let's go ahead and clear the deck and see if you're right. And by the way, if you are right, you're going to join us at the Endless Summer, Kegler. If you're wrong, we're going to go ahead and turn this into a Caller 20 situation. So someone will win. Let's go ahead and eliminate some that you thought were real. So you thought that the buzz ball, the one that I brought, the buzz ball Pop-Tarts was real?

I felt like that had to be the most real one. Shockingly, what I just shared with you about buzz balls and Pop-Tarts is very, very real. Favorite childhood toaster pastry is getting an adult twist. How about this? The ready-to-drink cocktail brand. What? Why couldn't we get a taste test on this? Whoa.

Buzz balls. I've had them before. Oh. They're very good. So that one's got a drinking problem. But anyway, that is a correct answer, and that one is real. So you have already played the game smart. Let's see if you are actually able to win, though.

We go to possible collab number two. You thought was also real between Disney and the NFL. Omar, was that a real collaboration? You know, it is. It's happening. And the further I look into it, the weirder it is because you're a fan of the Washington Commanders, right? Yes, I grew up a fan when they were called the Redskins. I'm less of a fan now because the name stinks.

But, yes, we're right. But they're collabing that team. They're putting together with Ham, the pig from Toy Story. Oh, my God. So it's kind of like a nod to their previous name? Well, if it was this, they should have gone with Pocahontas would have been the right Disney character to go with. It's the right offensive thing. Yeah, that would have been the right one.

Ham, it's because people call that team the Hogs. It's one of the nicknames of the team. That's why. But it's a deep cut thing and not the right. I mean, Disney has a great character that would have been perfect, and you blew it. So, anyway, all right. Omar's is actually right as well, so good job so far. It's down to two now.

Jake said Ikea and Xbox. Allie said Barbie and Dolly Parton with the removable boobs. If you are right, that would mean Jake's is made up. Jake, is yours made up? Man, let me tell you, this furniture looks so uncomfortable, it is real, and it shouldn't be. Oh, no. Damn, dude. Yeah, Dolly Parton and Barbie are not collaborating in her death,

and they are not coming out with a giant-breasted Dolly Parton Barbie. Damn. There actually might be one out already. That double sucks. Yeah, I think there was a Dolly-inspired Barbie at some point that was released. At some point. It didn't have removable boobs, though. It did not, though.

Well, there you go. That sucks for Dylan. But good news for you, if you want to be the 20th caller right now at 800-520-1067, you will be rewarded with tickets to drink with us. And who knows? Maybe we'll throw some Pop-Tart Buzz Balls in the mix at the Endless Summer Kegger. Looking for you to join us, call a 20 right now, 800-520-1067.

Here's some takeaways from today's show, and then Sluggo will be in here, and he'll probably do the proper tribute to... I know we were still talking about Dolly Parton, and he was the one who broke the news on KROQ yesterday. Much better tribute than the one Johnny gave to Ozzy Osbourne when that happened live. Remember that? My bud! I miss you, my buddy. My buddy Ozzy's gone.

It was a very nice, very touching, very emotional tribute yesterday, and then I believe he played Jolene. Jolene. Jolene, excuse me. Jolene. What the hell is wrong with you? That's why we're not good at the tributes. I was trying to put the southern twine on. I'm all torn up.

So we're not good at that. I'm all torn up. Clearly, I can't possibly do a tribute the right way. That's why Sluggo's a professional. He'll be in here moments for that. Hey, Brigitte. Yes. Did I get that right at least?

It's Brigitte. Brigitte. Brigitte. Brigitte. Brigitte. You're coming to the Endless Summer Kegger, all right? Yeah, oh my God Kieger

We'll see you at the Kieger It's September 3rd and we'll give you all the details you need and we can't wait to drink with you Me too, me too, thank you Thank you Slightly Stupid will be there too and us, we're fully stupid

Takeaways from today's show and then we will turn things over to Sluggo again for your 90s at noon and more of those tickets to go see Weezer and everything else Sally, what do we have for takeaways? 6-6, my takeaway is Dolly Parton will always be remembered as a music. That was my first trick of the day. If people could stop dying, you put me in a very hard...

We don't know how to handle this. Yeah, we're not good at this. So there's people that are good at it, and we're not. Let's see. 6-5-0, Dolly Parton loved the USPS. She sure did. 5-6-2, my takeaway is they're taking all the wrong white people. Yeah, we're the Johnny.

All the good whites are gone. 2-1-3, according to Odyssey, drink a glass of water every two minutes. Gotta keep drinking that water. Stay hydrated in this heat wave. Uh, 8-1-8, say it in her accent. Ooh. 9-0-9, Jake doesn't have cornmeal. 6-2-6, Apple Watch chimes are just like Jake's crickets.

And that Jake is a big fan of anime. Loves anime. Oh, goddammit. 8-1-8, my takeaway is Rob the Blob eats it. And 8-1-8 is that celebrities would rather die than sleep with Ally. Yeah, this is crazy. Ever since she said she was going to sleep with a celebrity. We've got a couple of good leads that came in during the show today,

including some that we can't talk about on the air yet, but we do think we're moving a step closer to Ally getting herself a celebrity hall pass one-night stand. So that's cool. Cool. Maybe it's not full sex. Maybe it's just a heavy make-out. Does that count? I mean, look, if it's a big enough celebrity, I think it would count as something.

I mean, making out, a heavy make-out with an A or C-lister, I would feel like that would be very brag-worthy. Do you want to tell people what your wife texted you off the air? Yeah, she texted me, no men. She changed her mind ever since we had her on. No men. I think she started realizing that this could happen. Yeah, when she heard that guy that was a stunt double for Dewey, she got freaked out.

I don't blame her. He's got a spiller over you. Yeah. He's a professional spiller. He gets you. Gets you good. He is professional just for having things spilled on him. Amazing.

Star power. And he never did anything else after Malcolm. What's your takeaway, Johnny? Allie can't do it with Dewey. She can't do it, do we, anyone? It's too bad. Vanessa, takeaway? Client's getting an Iguana.

A what? An Iguana. Iguana. Isn't that a Spanish word, Iguana? I said it. No, you didn't. Iguana. You said Iguana.

Iguana, like Tijuana. An Iguana. Iguana. Iguana. We're not good at speaking in words here. Takeaway, Jake? Hey, when Omar says anal, you got to do it. Yeah.

It's a verbal contract. Omar, takeaway? We don't have the Dolly audio, but we have this. I poofed my pants and I don't have underwear easy to get. That's a very good quote right there. That's a tribute right there to pants mostly. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is roaches need millipede PR.

They got to get some of that good PR. It's too bad. It's just too bad. We're not going to be able to deal with it. Have a great day. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, you can find us all over the place, including our Instagram,

Klein Allie Show, or the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. All right, that's it. Bye. Klein and Allie, it's just okay. no need to clap but i will for us this episode of klein alley show has officially come to an end and now it's a good opportunity for us to shill all of our things for the next 30 seconds so you realize that this really is a business and we're not actually friends if you've ever wanted to see what we look like

I question your decisions but we are available for your viewing pleasure at KROQ's YouTube and we even hired a guy to run the YouTube live stream so for the sake

of Justin's job you should watch it yeah if Justin gets fired and by the way he's a ginger so I think it's racist if you fire him regardless

check out our show it's on YouTube every single morning you can watch us live of course we love it when you listen on the radio like the good lord intended but also watch the YouTube

after the fact you can also follow along on the socials Klein Alley Show there's so many ways for you to get involved and do your little part to help us to hashtag grow the show. If you've ever wanted to see what Jake's nerd hole looks like

or the way Johnny thinks during Johnny Doesn't Know or simply the way that Klein looks disgusted when I tell him a sexy story about myself, it's all available on the live stream. See, you can see what that looks like. All right, you can stop. Don't die. Open them to dies.